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1.
the first time it happens, megumi nearly jumps out of his skin. itadori has been at jujutsu tech for a little over two weeks now, and it has definitely been a bit of a learning curve. when gojo had started prepping for the new school year, he’d told megumi it would just be him and one other student, kugisaki, in the first year class, and though it’s partially megumi’s own fault that itadori got roped in as their bonus classmate, that doesn’t mean he had any time to prepare for it.
in fact, he’s pretty sure he could spend his whole life preparing himself to handle the being that is itadori yuuji and still be knocked off his feet every time.
the thing about itadori is that megumi actually likes him well enough. sure, itadori can be a little dense sometimes, and he’s quite boisterous (even more so when he’s around kugisaki), and he’s generally just like a big ball of sunshine, but funny enough, megumi has always loved the sun. the feeling of the warmth on his skin has always been comforting and grounding for him, and mostly, the same can be said of itadori.
when that can’t be said for itadori though, is whenever he pops up out of nowhere and scares the absolute shit out of megumi.
megumi has been deep in a tense conversation with gojo about their first mission coming up, which megumi is convinced is a bad idea all around considering itadori doesn’t even have control over cursed energy yet, and putting him in a situation where he has to fight already is moronic at best and lethal at worst.
“listen megumi,” gojo starts, resting his hand on megumi’s shoulder placatingly. megumi shrugs it off. “it’ll be fine! assuming nothing major comes up, i’ll be there to keep an eye on you three, so if you kids get into something you can’t handle, no worries! i’ll end it before it becomes life threatening. jeez, you act like i haven’t done this before!”
megumi knows to pick his battles when it comes to gojo, so he doesn’t mention how last year maki and okkotsu almost died during the latter’s first mission all because gojo had been too busy crafting the “perfect response” to a text from nanami to realize both students had been promptly swallowed by a curse.
“this is different, not everyone has a cursed spirit to protect them like okkotsu did,” megumi huffs. “itadori is-“
“oh, hey guys! you talkin’ about me?”
speak of the devil and he shall appear, and megumi nearly jumps out of his own skin at the sound of said devil suddenly right next to him. megumi’s shoulders shoot up instinctively at itadori’s voice, and immediately he knows he’s done for. gojo’s laugh rings out loudly down the hall, and megumi wishes the shadows would swallow him up. technically, they could, but he hasn’t fully gotten that part of his cursed technique down and it’s best to cut his losses and not embarrass himself any further.
megumi isn’t even sure how itadori has managed to sneak up on him in the first place. everything about itadori is loud. he’s really only quiet when he’s asleep. and even then, megumi can occasionally hear his snores at night through their shared wall.
megumi turns to glare at itadori, whose hand is buried in a bag of chips and seems completely unfazed by the fact that he’s currently ruining megumi’s life, right as megumi was trying to save his (again).
“don’t you have somewhere else to be?” megumi grumbles out as gojo’s laughter continues. his sensei’s fingers wipe away at nonexistent tears over his stupid blindfold, which only grates on megumi’s nerves worse.
“uh, no? not really!” itadori says around a mouthful of chips. “so what’s up?”
gojo, who has now calmed down, speaks first with nothing but amusement dripping from his words, “oh, it’s nothing, yuuji. megumi here was just trying to defend your hono-“
“i’m leaving,” megumi says before gojo can finish the rest of whatever bullshit he was about to spew, and he can feel heat rising to his cheeks and ears as he stalks off down the hall.
“wait! fushiguro!” he can hear itadori call after him. “do you wanna hang out later or something?”
megumi pretends he didn’t hear.
2.
the second time it happens, megumi has had a very long day and it’s not even noon yet. turns out, finding out that your classmate, who is also sort of your friend, has actually been alive for the entire two months you thought he was dead can really take a toll on a person. who knew?
the tokyo first and second years have all had some time to process the news of itadori’s un-deadness, fit him into their strategy for the sister school exchange event, and have a bit of time to relax before the stress of battle actually begins. though he tried his best to seem like itadori suddenly coming back from the dead wasn’t really THAT big of a deal, megumi finds himself still reeling from the news. which is why he quietly slips out of the room where the rest of the tokyo students chat idly and makes his way down the hall to where they keep cursed tools and weapons. he enters the room and silently shuts the door behind him, staring blankly at the walls lined with various blades and equipment. he takes in a deep, shaky breath and feels the telltale prick in the back of his throat signaling he only has seconds before tears will begin to well up in the corners of his eyes.
megumi can count on one hand the number of times he’s cried in the last 5 years, and he feels a pang of anger as a few tears betray him and roll down his cheeks. how dare itadori be the cause of his tears twice in the last two months alone?
‘it’s fucked up,’ he thinks to himself. ‘it’s fucked up that i’m happy that he’s alive, but it still hurts anyway. i barely even KNOW him.’ he squeezes his eyes shut tight, willing the ache in his chest to go away.
in that moment, he hears footsteps outside the room and he scrambles to dry his cheeks.
“i thought i might find you in here.”
maki’s voice is a comfort, which megumi will never admit to her or anyone. he waits for her to shut the door behind her before he turns to her. immediately, he hates the flash of pity he sees in her eyes.
“i’m fine.” megumi spits out quickly, as he knows exactly what she’s going to ask before she asks it. unfortunately, he doesn’t sound as fine as he’d hoped. he turns back around to inspect a few katanas, though maki knows him well enough to know he’s not really looking.
he listens to her footsteps as she approaches him and bumps their shoulders together lightly. maki isn’t the most openly affectionate person on earth by any means, but she has her own little ways of showing she cares.
there’s a long pause as they stare at the blades together, and then she speaks quietly, “megumi, how are you really doing, though?”
he doesn’t want to answer her. the lump in his throat blocks anything he could say anyway, so they stand in silence for a while longer.
finally, the lump subsides enough that megumi can speak in a quiet voice, “i don’t know.”
because, he doesn’t. he feels so much and yet he can’t quite put it into words.
he can see maki nod he head out of the corner of his eye, and he turns slightly to look at her.
“it’s okay to be overwhelmed. this is…a lot to take in.”
megumi sighs. “i’m just tired of fucking up. i thought-“ he pauses for a moment. “i thought i was doing the right thing, saving him at the school, but then he ate that stupid fucking finger. and because i couldn’t take him down, sukuna ripped his heart out right in front of me. and don’t get me wrong, i’m glad he’s not actually dead, but i can’t help feeling like i should’ve just left him alone when we first met. if i hadn’t let him come to the school, he never would’ve eaten the finger, and he’d be alive, and happy, and a normal teenager. and instead he’s -“
megumi’s breath hitches in his throat and his mouth snaps shut before a sob can escape. maki is staring directly at him now, her brows furrowed.
“megumi, none of that is your fault. itadori chose to follow you to the school, itadori chose to eat sukuna’s finger. you were just doing your job as a jujutsu sorcerer, and he involved himself, and there’s nothing you could’ve done to change that! besides, itadori seems like he’s plenty happy to be here and have the life he has now. i don’t think he has any regrets about his choices, so there’s no point in you trying to have regrets for him.” her voice is steady and stern, like she thinks the more aggressive she says them, the better they will stick in megumi’s brain.
and logically, he knows she’s right. megumi can’t control itadori, and he shouldn’t be trying to take responsibility for itadori’s actions either. but guilt still rings through his chest and whispers to him quietly in the back of his mind.
“i know, but itadori didn’t kno-“
“i didn’t know what?” says itadori’s voice from the doorway.
this time, megumi doesn’t jump, but his neck whips towards the door so fast, he’s surprised his didn’t give himself whiplash. he doesn’t understand how itadori moves so silently that even megumi, who trained himself to be able to hear gojo’s near non-existent footsteps, can’t pick up on him coming.
“nothing,” megumi says after a beat, and he stares down at the floor for a moment and blinks his eyes rapidly, praying that he doesn’t look like he’d been crying.
“oh…well, gojo-sensei says it’s almost time,” itadori says, with a bit of uncertainty.
megumi brings his eyes back up to meet itadori’s for a split second, and he sees a flash of something across itadori’s face, but as he’s trying to determine what exactly it was, maki interrupts with, “you two ready to go kick some ass?” and then itadori’s eyes are on her.
“hell yeah!” he responds enthusiastically.
megumi lets out a quick, “yeah.” and then the three set off to join the others.
3.
when it happens for the third time, megumi is starting to think it might not be a coincidence.
megumi and kugisaki are sitting in the common area. kugisaki is flipping through some fashion magazine and murmuring to herself quietly, while megumi snacks on blueberries. he has divine dog manifested, and their head is resting gently on the arm of the chair megumi is sitting in, their eyes following megumi’s hands as he places each berry into his mouth. megumi isn’t even sure what the physics are when it comes to his shikigami eating actual food, and he isn’t interested in finding out, so he refrains from giving in to the temptation to feed the dog a blueberry.
kugisaki speaks up from behind her magazine, “so, when are you planning on telling him?”
megumi looks over at her in confusion. she’s slightly lowered the magazine, but her eyes are still flitting across the pages.
“what the hell are you talking about?” megumi asks, lightly batting away the hound’s curious nose, which had gotten closer to the carton of blueberries when he’d looked away.
“don’t play dumb, it’s not cute on you. i’m talking about your crush on itadori. when are you planning on confessing?”
megumi nearly chokes on a blueberry.
“my what.”
“your CRUSH, idiot,” kugisaki rolls her eyes dramatically and finally looks up at him. “do i need to spell it out for you? god, it’s not like you hide it well anyway. so are you gonna tell him, or are we all supposed to pretend we don’t hear the desperation in your voice when you talk to him?”
“i have no idea what you’re talking about. i don’t have a crush on itadori,” megumi knows his reddening cheeks are not making him sound any more convincing, but he doesn’t get another second to think about it because, as is becoming his usual, itadori speaks up from where he’s just appeared the doorway.
“oh, hey guys, i was wondering where you were! oh, puppy!” itadori squats down as divine dog rushes him, licking at his face excitedly. once itadori has gotten a good fill of puppy love, he stands again. in addition to being covered in dog slobber, he’s sweaty like he’s just finished sparring, and megumi has to force himself to look away as itadori pulls the bottom of his shirt up to wipe his face, his abs on display. “anyway, either of you wanna watch a movie? i asked the second years, but panda-senpai and inumaki-senpai wanted to keep sparring, and maki-senpai just said ‘hard pass’.”
megumi hears kugisaki snort quietly. “yeah that’ll be a hard pass from me as well. i need to go talk to maki-senpai anyway.” kugisaki looks very pointedly at megumi as she says this.
megumi clears his throat and looks back over to itadori. “yeah, i’ll watch a movie with you.”
the way itadori’s face lights up makes megumi’s stomach somersault.
“awesome! i’m gonna go shower real quick. feel free to pick out whatever and just meet me in my room!” he says with way too much energy for someone who’d just been sparring for the last couple hours.
megumi nods and responds, “sure. i’ll be there in a sec.” and with that itadori is bounding down the hall toward the showers. megumi takes a deep breath and slumps in his chair ever so slightly.
“well, romeo, that sure was convincing! i definitely don’t think you have a crush on him now,” kugisaki says with a smirk. megumi had forgotten she was still there. “honestly though, he’s just like your shikigami, the way you can summon him at will like that.”
megumi immediately regrets telling her about the other times itadori has suddenly appeared the minute megumi says his name, but as he ponders it for a second, he’s inclined to agree with her.
“it’s just a coincidence,” he tells her, mostly trying to convince himself.
kugisaki lets out a quick, “ha!”
“yeah i’m sure it is, buddy,” she speaks as she stands to leave the room, and there’s not a hint of sincerity in her voice. she pats divine dog on the head as she leaves the room, and megumi realizes his shikigami has scarfed down most of the remaining blueberries while he was distracted.
he thinks he hears kugisaki mutter “boys are so stupid” under her breath as she walks out of the room.
4.
the fourth time, megumi is running. he’s sprinting towards tsumiki as fast as he can, and his chest aches and he can’t get enough air into his lungs. it’s silent as he sprints down the halls of the hospital, and he can’t help but think how eerie it feels that there’s not a single nurse or doctor meandering the halls as he passes door after door. in fact, he doesn’t see any patients in any of the rooms either. but it doesn’t matter, because he has to get to tsumiki as fast as possible. there isn’t much time and if he’s fast enough, megumi knows he can save her. he finally rounds one last corner, still breathing heavily and running as fast as he can, despite his legs feeling like they’re made of a dense metal. he pushes into tsumiki’s room, not caring how desperate he must seem, and his breath catches in his throat when he sees her lying in the bed like always, but when he takes in the rest of the scene, sukuna is standing over her, tsumiki’s heart in his hand, thick, dark blood dripping down his forearm and onto the white bed sheets and light blue gown tsumiki is wearing. when megumi looks back at tsumiki’s face, her eyes and mouth are open - her face is frozen as if she’s been screaming for help.
suddenly, sukuna is standing in front of megumi, mere inches away. in his other hand now is itadori’s heart, and he hears sukuna’s dark laugher ring in his ears as megumi stands there, petrified. he hears itadori’s voice call out, “i don’t need to worry about you guys, right? live long, will ya?”
megumi sits up in his bed, and he can feel himself hyperventilating. his vision feels blurry and he’s panicking, unsure of what’s going on. he hears a voice that sounds almost like his own quietly say, “itadori?” before everything goes dark.
the next thing he’s aware of are strong hands on his back and arm, gripping him firmly. then he hears a soothing voice saying distantly, “it’s okay, fushi. you’re safe. i’ve got you. just breathe.” and finally, as he feels his breathing even out, megumi’s vision comes back to him and he recognizes the familiar tufts of pink hair and itadori’s handsome face, now painted in a worried expression.
itadori must notice that megumi is more coherent now, as the creases between his eyebrows lessen. megumi takes slow, deep breaths as the hand itadori has on his back slowly rubs back and forth.
“how…,” megumi starts and then trails off, not quite sure he’s actually ready to ruin the moment and end the comfort itadori is providing just yet. itadori seems to understand, though, as he quietly shuffles his positioning so that he’s now sitting next to megumi on the bed, and hesitantly wraps his arms around megumi, giving him a chance to stop him. megumi lets himself be pulled against itadori’s chest and after a couple moments, he fully melts into the embrace.
they stay like that for a while. megumi isn’t sure how much time passes, but he’s nearly dozed off again when he hears itadori say, “i heard you say my name. i’m not gonna let anything hurt you.”
megumi pretends to be asleep already. they don’t talk about it the next morning.
5.
the fifth time it happens, megumi is in a bad mood. he finally hunts itadori down with the help of okkotsu-senpai (admittedly, okkotsu had done most of the work, megumi had just come to help get them both back to jujutsu tech), and of course all itadori cares about is his idiotic notion that by just existing, he’s somehow putting megumi in danger. as if they aren’t constantly in danger every moment of their lives. as if megumi hadn’t already nearly died in shibuya because of his own weakness against that lucky sorcerer with the machete, only saved BECAUSE of itadori and sukuna. he’s pissed off, because even after trying to reason with itadori about their situation, and having to beg him for help in saving tsumiki, itadori is still acting as though he’s a villain when all of his actions up to this point prove the exact opposite.
it’s annoying and frustrating, and megumi is currently fuming to himself, sitting on a large chunk of concrete in a pile of rubble a ways away from the tiny camp they set up for the night. they’re planning on heading back to the school first thing in the morning, so they can find the tomb of the star corridor and meet with master tengen. it’s best if someone keeps watch while the others rest, though, and while choso had volunteered, megumi was too upset to actually fall asleep just yet. he watches the small flicker of the campfire, and observes okkotsu and itadori’s sleeping figures passed out on the ground next to it. the second he finally glances away out at the never-ending sea of buildings and rubble, around them, choso speaks next to him.
“my brother seems to care for you a lot.”
megumi startles, and groans quietly as he buries his face in his hands. choso ignores him.
“i think you care about him a lot as well. you better take good care of him,” choso says, not looking at megumi’s now bewildered expression.
“are you…are you giving me the overprotective brother speech?” this is not an interaction he ever could’ve imagined happening, and he really wishes it wasn’t. “and you two aren’t actually brothers,” he tacks on, for good measure.
choso ignores his second comment, but looks bored when he replies, “i’m just letting you know, that if anything happens to yuuji, i won’t feel guilty for effectively eliminating the 10 shadows cursed technique user of this era.”
choso’s eyes bore into megumi, and megumi opens his mouth to argue, but thinks twice and closes it.
they stare at each other for a few quiet moments, and then megumi finally speaks with the utmost conviction, “i do. care about him, that is. a lot. and i promise i will do everything in my power to protect itadori.”
choso’s face relaxes into a lazy grin, and then megumi hears behind him -
“fushi? you should come get some sleep.”
megumi’s eyes slam shut and with the sound of itadori’s voice, he immediately remembers his earlier frustration.
“god, do you always come when you’re called? you’re like a dog,” he snarks as he turns to look at itadori, immediately feeling a bit guilty when he sees him rubbing sleepily as his eyes. it’s dark out and the only light is the faint glow of the campfire nearby, but itadori looks heavenly in the dim lighting.
megumi watches itadori’s brows furrow, thinking hard before saying, “no? ‘depends who’s calling me.” itadori shrugs.
megumi is thoroughly taken aback by the response. his eyes go wide as he realizes the implications of it. itadori always comes when megumi calls. even when megumi doesn’t realize he needs itadori, he’s there for him. he acts on instinct, never hesitating even for a moment. even now, when itadori is clearly terrified of hurting megumi, the minute his name leaves megumi’s lips, there he is.
“oh.”
megumi can feel himself blushing, his face betraying him for the umpteenth time. he thinks he sees a hint of pink tinting itadori’s cheeks as well.
“you should both get some sleep. we’ll need to leave in a few hours,” choso says, eyes flitting from itadori to megumi and back again, observing them and effectively putting an end to whatever the two boys had been sharing in the moment.
megumi stands, and if his hand gently brushes itadori’s a few times as they walk back to the fire together, well, there’s nobody around to notice but choso anyway.
+1.
as megumi and itadori make their way to the barrier, it’s clear that they’ve both got a lot on their mind. they’ve barely spoken to each other all morning, neither of them quite sure what to say before entering a game that could potentially end their lives. so much is riding on their success, and they both feel that weight on their shoulders. megumi doesn’t even realize how far he’s fallen behind itadori until he hears the other boy call out, “megumi!”
megumi thinks his name sounds like honey coming from itadori’s mouth.
he looks up at itadori, who is smiling sweetly at him and who is also now a good 50 feet in front of him, and megumi melts into the shadows, coming back up right behind itadori.
“sorry,” megumi says close to itadori’s ear, making him startle and jump ever so slightly. despite the severity of the situation they’re in, megumi chuckles to himself, feeling a bit of pride at finally being on the opposite side of the shock.
itadori, now facing megumi, lets out a bright laugh, leans in close to megumi’s face, “‘do you always come when you’re called, ‘gumi?’”
“shut up.”
megumi rolls his eyes and pushes itadori’s face away with his hand, which itadori makes a grab for, intertwining their fingers.
“come on, i know you’re worried, but we’ve got this! we’re gonna kick some ass, get those points, change the rules, and help tsumiki. i believe in us.”
‘god, does he sound convincing when he says it,’ megumi thinks as he looks at the determination on itadori’s face.
“i believe in us, too,” megumi says, and hesitates for a brief second before pressing a gentle kiss to itadori’s mouth. “i believe in you, yuuji,” he whispers against itadori’s mouth, and when he kisses him again, megumi can feel itadori’s grip on his hand tighten just a bit, and he feels grounded by the sunshine once again.