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English
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Published:
2022-05-23
Completed:
2022-12-29
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39,023
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12/12
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dead of night

Summary:

Roman is alive.

Roman is alive, and Ada's going to make damn sure it stays that way.

Even if that means turning to the last person Roman would ever want help from.

Chapter 1: desperate pleasures

Notes:

AAAAAAA okay here we go! As stated in the tags, this fic is my BABY. NIGHT/SHADE immediately ate my brain the night it was released, and it hasn't let go ever since, and so here I am. I took the slight ambiguity over whether Roman was alive or not at the end and RAN with it. I adore every single one of these characters with my entire heart and this is basically just my excuse to take a deep dive into their heads and their relationships. Like I said, disclaimer that this fic is heavily influenced by my own interpretations! Also, the storyline is based on my own playthrough so there might be some differences from what you experienced. That being said, I hope you can still enjoy it! I've put so much love into this and I'm equal parts excited and nervous to share.

CW: discussion of death, discussion of suicide attempt, threatened gun violence

Chapter Text

"Ngh…Ada?"

 

Ada's heart skipped a beat at the familiar sound of Roman's voice. He was awake . He was awake, he was alive , and Ada picked up the pace with determination. 

 

It was nothing less than a miracle. There was no way Roman should've survived that fall, even temporarily. But there was no way Ada was going to just leave him there regardless. He'd rushed to the fountain that had been stained bloodred, hoping against hope to see any signs of life. And he'd gotten his wish. A heartbeat - faint, but there. 

 

The second Ada heard it, all of the panic he'd been feeling was gone, struck by a lightning bolt of white-hot focus. One thought, in his head on loop constantly: 

 

I have to save him. I have to save him. I have to save him. 

 

He would not let Roman die. It wasn't an option. 

 

"Ada, I…why am I alive?" Roman asked groggily. Ada's heart twisted painfully. Roman surviving, it seemed, had been against his own will. Dangling 40 feet above the ground, rapidly losing his grip on a support beam and staring straight at the outstretched hand of his former lover and current mortal enemy…Roman had let go . Ada had watched in horror, unable to do anything, unable to even move. He'd known, with a heart-shattering finality, that Roman would die. Letting go had been surrender, giving up - on Sobena, on his rivalry with Dima, on everything , including his own life. And if Ada knew one thing without a doubt, it was that it was impossible to make Roman do anything he didn't want to do…even stay alive.

 

But now, that belief had been thrown into question. It seemed, against all odds, that there was some stronger force in play, keeping Roman tethered to life, even if just by a thread. 

 

So, to Roman, Ada simply replied, "You're alive because you're supposed to be." It was the truth. Unquestionably. 

 

Roman groaned, falling silent again. Ada hunkered down, his determination increasing every second. After walking for a few more minutes, he finally came to a stop right in front of a familiar car. Next to the car stood Ryker, clearly in a state of panic. He jolted in surprise when he saw Ada standing there, which was quickly followed by an even more intense jolt when he saw Roman's severely injured body draped across his shoulders.

 

"Get in the car, Ryker." 

 

Ada's tone left no room for argument. Ryker got in the car. Ada quickly followed, gently settling Roman in the backseat next to him. 

 

"Is…is he…?" Ryker asked, trailing off hesitantly. 

 

"He's alive. But barely. We have to get him help, fast."

 

"But where? Any public hospital would be a huge risk, for so many reasons…" 

 

"Yes. Any public hospital would. That's why we're not going to one of those."

 

Ryker's face was blank, clearly not understanding. Ada sighed. "There's only one place that can give him the level of help he needs without asking questions. It's our only option."

 

Ryker stared silently, awaiting the instructions he knew were coming.

 

"...Ryker, drive to Strexa headquarters." 

 

A strangled noise came from Roman, and without thinking, Ada reached out and grabbed his hand. Obviously, he'd known Roman wouldn't be thrilled with this plan, but he wasn't in much of a position to object. Ryker's eyes widened. 

 

"Ada, are you-"

 

"I said drive , Ryker." 

 

And so, Ryker drove.

 

Ada didn't let go of Roman's hand the entire way there, nor did he avert his eyes at any point. He had to be able to feel that faint heartbeat, to see the rise and fall of Roman's chest as he took slow, labored breaths. At one point, the two made eye contact, and Ada saw something he couldn't remember ever seeing in Roman's eyes before - fear. 

 

Ada sat up straight, more determined than ever now. He had to be strong. He had to be the one to get them through this intact, no matter what it took. He squeezed Roman's hand tightly, and to his surprise, Roman faintly returned the gesture with what little strength he had. 

 

Hang on, Roman. You're going to be okay. Because I won't let you not be. 

 

After a ride that couldn't have been more than a few minutes but felt like an eternity to Ada, the car pulled up outside of Strexa's massive, luxurious headquarters. Excessive, Ada immediately thought with a stab of spite, but tried to swallow it down. If they agreed to help Roman, their building could be as excessive as they wanted. 

 

"So, uh…what do you need me to do?" Ryker asked nervously. 

 

"I need you to come with us and disable anyone who tries to stop us. …Non-lethally, if possible. We need all the goodwill we can get here. If you can get them to back off without having to use force, even better." Ada answered the question almost on autopilot, more focused on delicately removing Roman from the car. Ryker nodded, some of the anxiety starting to melt away now that he had concrete orders to focus on.

 

Together, they walked right up to the entrance of the building. There were multiple security guards posted there, doubtlessly on high alert after the attack at the tower. And here were the perpetrators of said attack, meeting them face-to-face. For a moment, they were too stunned to take action, and Ada took advantage. 

 

"Listen up," he ordered them, louder than he had previously thought himself capable of. Slowly, cautiously, one of the guards attempted to reach for his radio, only to wind up with Ryker's gun pointed at him. 

 

"Listen," Ada repeated. "This is not an attack. My…" He faltered, realizing he didn't have the slightest idea of what word came next in that sentence. Your what exactly, Ada? He sighed, abandoning the sentence fragment.

 

"Roman is severely injured. He won't last long. He needs medical care, and this is the best place for him to get it, so he's going to. That's all we're here for. With that being said, if any of you try to stop us, Ryker here will be more than happy to disable you." Ryker cocked his gun menacingly to back up Ada's words. 

 

Ada stared at the assembled security, and they stared back at him, albeit occasionally sneaking glances at Ryker and his gun. Every second counted, though, and Ada quickly grew impatient with the standoff. He sighed. 

 

"If you don't move aside and let us through in the next thirty seconds, Ryker will start shooting. This is your only warning." Grinning, Ryker took the hint, starting up a countdown. 

 

"1…2…3…"

 

The guards glanced at each other, frantic. They had a very important decision to make and a very short time to do it. 

 

"9…10…11…"

 

Their attention focused on one specific guard, who must have been the highest-ranking. Likely glad to have the decision fall into someone else's hands, the other guards stared at their leader, awaiting their orders.

 

"16…17…18…" 

 

The lead guard swore under his breath. 

 

"22…23…24…"

 

The others grew increasingly frantic as the countdown drew close to an end with no decision. They were getting twitchy. 

 

"27…28…29…"

 

"FINE!" The guard finally burst out. The slightest smile came to Ada's face. 

 

"Fine, we'll let you through. You can take him to a hospital room, but. I will be alerting Dima immediately. He's the only one who can make the final decision about how to deal with this. Understand?" 

 

Ada nodded, unperturbed. After all, that was exactly the outcome he'd been counting on. "Thank you for your cooperation." Ryker smirked at the guards as he passed, reholstering his weapon. 

 

Moving as fast as he possibly could, Ada carried Roman to the hospital ward, with Ryker guarding them the whole way. Ryker was clearly enjoying this whole thing a bit too much, shooting menacing glares at every Strexa employee they passed. Despite himself, Ada almost smiled. 

 

Once they reached the ward, Ada quickly entered the first unoccupied hospital room he saw and gently settled Roman on the bed. He had slipped back into unconsciousness, and Ada's heart flipped for a second before he saw that Roman was still breathing. Unable to stop himself, he reached out and gently caressed Roman's cheek. Knowing Roman couldn't hear him, he let the words fall out of his lips, barely even a whisper:

 

"I love you."

 

Words that were true. Words that he'd never said out loud before. 

 

"...He doesn't even look at you the way you look at him…"

 

Ada flinched, quickly shaking his head to dispel the intruding thought. It didn't mean anything, Ada knew. Mishka didn't know anything about him or his relationship with Roman. He was angry at himself, and taking it out on the only person nearby. His words had no merit, and Ada knew that, he did. So why, then, did they keep popping into his head at the most inopportune moments? 

 

"Don't listen to a word he says, you are perfect."

 

Those were the only words Ada needed to remember from that night. It didn't matter what some pink-haired cockroach said. He knew the truth; he knew what was real. Determined, he reached down and gripped Roman's hand tightly. 

 

"I love you," he repeated, louder this time. "I love you, and you're going to be okay. I'm going to make sure of it."