Chapter Text
🦯
Yoongi lives a simple life.
Sleep, eat, work and repeat.
Nothing too much and nothing less. In fact, Yoongi finds himself enjoying his ordinary life. He has a well paid job, a nice apartment, a dog and friends that care about him. At the age of 30 you would think it would get a little lonely out here, with only a dog to accompany him in his otherwise vacant house. And although he will always argue that he is content with how he spends his days, he would be lying if he said he didn’t crave another person’s touch.
30 is still young, he still has time, but even if he will never meet anyone like that he would accept that. Love is not always destined for everyone.
Often people tell him that he is not trying enough. He should be going out, meeting new people, be a little bold and flirt even! Instead, Yoongi finds himself in his office most of the time. A job from 9 till 6 is tiring to say the least. Energy to go out clubbing after is non existent and regarding his weekends, he uses them to energize himself. Readying himself to face another tiring week.
But don’t think he is not happy. He is happy. He has a roof above his head, he can afford a meal at least 3 times a day and he can buy the things he wants. Why wouldn’t he be happy?
It’s dark in his room. The lights are switched off and the curtains are closed. He lays in a bed that is too big for him alone. Soft sheets are draped over his body and a dip in the mattress next to him indicates that his dog has settled beside him. When he stretches his arms it doesn’t touch another person. He doesn’t have anyone to hold, to caress, to love.
Love.
It always comes back to that exact same word and Yoongi can’t help but to think why.
Yoongi always says he is happy, but at times like this, when he stares up at his ceiling late in the evening, when his bed feels too cold and when his apartment suddenly feels too empty, he doesn’t really feel happy. But it is okay to not feel happy all the time. Tell me someone who is able to be happy 24/7 each and every day? Exactly, no one. Yes, he is an optimist, but even that can’t help him all the time.
On days like this when the silence is a little too loud, Yoongi does wonder what it would feel like to be in love. Does it feel like they describe it in books or show in the movies? No, that can’t be. That all is pure fiction, but the happiness and the glinstering in his friends' eyes whenever they look into their partners eyes look oddly enough like fiction.
Will he also act like that when he is in love? Will his heart flutter every time he would lay his eyes on his love? Will his hands itch to hold theirs? And most importantly, will there be butterflies in his stomach? With these questions circling through his mind, Yoongi’s eyes finally feel a little heavy and as they finally close on this Sunday night, Yoongi thinks that if not today, maybe someday for sure he will get his answers.
The next day, when he wakes up his whole body is on autopilot.
Wake up, go shower, eat breakfast, spend too long tying his bow, don’t forget to fill Holly's bowl, get coffee on the way to his work, arrive on time at his office and at last work till his shift ends. Yoongi finds himself getting uncomfortable at the thought of something disturbing his daily routine. A routine he is utmost pleased with.
With a steaming hot coffee in his right hand and his briefcase in his left, Yoongi finds himself walking inside the building. After having checked in and briefly greeting his colleagues on the way, he takes his seat and starts the day. Ticking away on his laptop he doesn’t notice when one of his colleagues calls for him.
“Yoongi?”
“Huh. Uh. Yeah? What is it Jungkook?”
“Don’t get too lost in your work, hyung.”
“Isn’t that the whole point?”
Jungkook laughs.
Jungkook is a nice, but extroverted guy. Someone Yoongi has built a close friendship with. One he is really grateful for, because without him he isn’t sure if he would step outside his house again if it wasn’t work related. “They sell ice cream down the street. Let us go and fetch some!”
Yoongi’s legs don’t really support the idea of standing up now. Still he knows that during their break it is recommended to all employees to stretch their legs. Yoongi is glad that Jungkook always helps him with stuff like this. “Sure. Let me grab my wallet.”
Once outside, the warm sunlight, accompanied by a light breeze, is just what Yoongi needed to sober up. He still has a couple of hours to go and he already could feel a headache coming up due all the hours he spends staring at his screen.
“Oh there is a line..” Jungkook, a grown man, whines. “It isn’t going to take that long.” Yoongi counters. There are a bunch of people lined up in front of the ice cream cart, but Yoongi supposes that scooping up some ice cream will not take a lot of time.
“Hyung?” “Hmm?” “Is it okay if you fix our ice creams, I will get some donuts from the shop there.” Yoongi looks in the direction of Jungkook's pointed finger. It’s a small shop on the other side of the road. The walls are painted blue and pink and it looks a little too cute for Yoongi’s like, but for Jungkook maybe not. “Sure.”
“Thank you hyung!” Yoongi only hums in response and watches how Jungkook walks out of the line and waits by the traffic light to cross the road. Now with Jungkook gone, Yoongi fully has been left over to his mind. Surely it is a bad habit of his, but he can’t even tell you when it started.
Talking to himself has been something he has been doing since he was a child. He seems himself mentally stable and healthy enough, but with his brain always being a battlefield of questions and other (non) important things, it sometimes helps to sort the mess that is his mind out. And he does that by having a conversation with himself, in his head of course.
“What kind of flavours do you have sir?”
“You can read it here. The flavours are written down on the board.”
“I- I am sorry but I can’t read it.”
“Sir, can you please hurry up. You are holding up the line.”
“ I am really sorry but if you just could read it out loud for me, it-”
“I don’t have time for that, please make a choice or get out of the line!”
Yoongi would be up next if that was the case.
The harsh voice of the seller puts his internal conversation on pause. Yoongi looks in front of him and notices the white cane in the man’s hand. The seller probably can’t see it hence he is reacting this way. Still it is rude to treat a customer like this. Without much thought Yoongi takes a step forward.
“I can read it for you.”
The man turns around and smiles weakly. His eyes are not focused on him, his pupils staring at something far in the distance. “Thank you, but maybe I will just go.”
“No.” Yoongi doesn’t know what possessed him and grabs the stranger by his arm. “I insist.” The man smiles again, this time a little wider.
“We have vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, mint, lemon, pistachio, stracciatella..”
“Stracciatella please.” Yoongi smiles and shifts his attention to the seller again.
“Two stracciatella please.”
Once he has received their cones, Yoongi hands one of them over to the stranger. His eyes are still not focused on him, so he shifts from his place so the stranger's eyes are set on him.
“You should have let me pay for myself, sir.” Yoongi sees how the other wants to sound angry, but the reddish blush on his cheeks reveals that he appreciated the gesture.
As they proceed to walk again, Yoongi notices how the other struggles with both hands occupied. “Do you want to sit down on that bench there?” Again the stranger looks up but misses his eyes. “I will help you.” Yoongi adds.
To not cross the line he only puts his hands on the man’s back, softly beckoning him in the direction of the bench. Yoongi only sits down when the other has. The man lets his stick lean against the bench and accepts his cone from Yoongi's outstretched hand.
It is a little awkward and how would it not. They are two complete strangers, eating ice cream together. But to his own surprise Yoongi doesn’t mind the silence. Actually it shouldn’t be a surprise as he spends most of his time in silence.
When he sees the stranger's lip not moving, Yoongi comfortably leans back and stares in front of him. The road is occupied with various vehicles, from old cars to the newest models. The streets are roamed by people, some walking slowly and some running. Some birds are sitting on the lampposts scattered alongside the streets and Yoongi sees how the sun is half hidden by a dark cloud.
Life is always rolling, like a film that doesn’t has an end or a pause button. It stops for no one, not for him, not for the dove in front of him who is eying his ice cream and not for Jungkook in the bakery shop.
The movie keeps rolling and there are no spoilers about what could happen next.
“Thank you for doing that. It was really kind of you.”
Yoongi looks at him. He watches how his ice cream begins to melt and drips down his cone to his hand, he watches how a sudden hard breeze messes up the man’s hair and he watches and realizes that for one person the movie already had stopped rolling. He only sees a black movie screen, caused by a defect projector which shows nothing but darkness accompanied with only sound.
“It was nothing. He should have treated you better. You are a customer and you weren’t asking him to fight a war or something for him to talk to you like that.” The stranger laughs again, this one even bigger than the previous two. Yoongi wonders if he knows how beautiful his smile is.
“That is true, but still.” “No, I don’t want to hear that. You are a person too, even with your…condition.” Yoongi doesn’t know how to bring it up, doesn’t know if it would be rude to just say it like that. “Condition, you say?” Yoongi points at the stick but remembers the stranger can’t see that. “You mean my blindness?” Yoongi lets out the quietest yes, hoping he didn’t hurt his feelings. “You can just say that I am blind you know, I am not walking with this cane for the fun of it.” “I- I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries as a stranger.” Yoongi sees how the man’s lips quirk into a smile by his confession. The stranger shifts in his place so that he is facing him. They both laugh when Yoongi shifts him a little more so he is really facing him and his eyes are set on him.
“What is your name?”
“Yoongi and yours?”
“Jimin.”
“That is a lovely name your parents have chosen for you.”
Jimin scrunches his nose and Yoongi once again asks himself if the other knows how cute he is.
“Are you flirting with me, Yoongi?”
Is he?
Jimin is not an ugly man. With hazelnut brown hair, plump lips and… It does sound a little weird to say, but Yoongi finds his eyes the most alluring, although he knows the only thing Jimin is able to see is darkness. Besides his looks, yoongi guesses his favourite brand must be Chanel, with the way he is dressed in a Chanel sweater, has a matching Chanel necklace and has a Chanel waist bag hanging around his shoulder.
Yoongi finds himself wanting to know more about him. ‘’Can I flirt with you Jimin?’’ Yoongi asks with a smirk on his face.
Jimin giggles. He actually giggles and brings a hand to his face. Yoongi doesn't want him to cover his smile.
‘’Hmm, I don't know. Can you? I don't even know how you look like!’’
Yoongi is absolutely endeared by him. ‘’Should I describe myself then?’’ Jimin nods his head.
When he looks up again, his eyes lose their focus on him. He is gazing at something behind him, but he looks focused, eagerly waiting for Yoongi to start talking. With his ice cream gone, both of his hands are folded on his lap. His legs are pressed against each other and Yoongi didn't know that a person could sit so prettily.
Yoongi shouldn’t think about a person who he just met like that. He should go back and find Jungkook. He should go back to his office and resume his boring and dreadful day. He should go back and continue his daily routine, but instead Yoongi finds himself sitting beside a man. A man who lost his eyesight. A man who can’t see him, will never be able to see him and still, Yoongi remains seated, because he finds himself wanting to see him instead.
‘’Yoongi-ssi? Are you still there?’’ Jimin moves his hands from his lap and stretches them out, cautiously tracing his fingers over the surface to feel if he is still sitting beside him, but of course Yoongi is still there and instead of the hard surface of the wooden bench, Jimin’s hands trail against Yoongi’s own hand.
To his own surprise Yoongi feels his hand itching to hold the other’s.
“Oh, I am so sorry!” The tip of Jimin’s ear starts to get red in embarrassment. Yoongi only smiles. He doesn’t speak, he doesn’t move, he doesn't even feel like he is breathing anymore.
This has to be a dream, Yoongi thinks. How else would he explain that it felt like the world had stopped there for a second?
“Oh Jimin, why did you think he was really interested in you? He surely has left.” Jimin softly says to himself. Yoongi hears how Jimin thinks he has left him and just touched someone else, someone who isn't him.
Jimin's hands are back on his lap and he nervously fidgets with his fingers. A deep sigh escapes his parted lips and it sounds like a mix of disappointment and frustration laces his tone. The same feelings are readable on his face. His eyebrows are lowered and pulled closer together and his lips are formed into a pout. He has put the palm of his hands underneath his chin and is looking ahead of him. Yoongi’s heart hurts and it twists in his rib cage as he watches him. He now knows that the only thing Jimin sees is pitch black darkness.
Yoongi comes to the sudden realisation that perhaps their world doesn't differ that much. There is no colour in Jimin’s life, but isn’t there also none in Yoongi’s? He also sees the world in a greyish colour, because what else can he see when his life is so boring?
Sleep, eat, work and repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Jimin suddenly reaches for his cane and Yoongi knows he is about to stand up and walk away. Yoongi doesn’t want him to walk away. Yoongi wants him to colour up his life and in return and if Jimin allows him, he wants to introduce those exact same colours to him.
His hands automatically reach for Jimin’s and it surprises him. He never learned to hold someone’s hand like that. He never did it so much that he would be able to do it on autopilot, but he does it and he thinks he will not be bothered if holding Jimin’s hand becomes a part of his daily routine.
''Jimin, wait.''
“Yoongi?” Jimin softly says. No one has ever said his name like that, so soft, so fragile as if it can break. As if the name itself is worth more than a whole mine filled with diamonds.
Jimin cautiously turns around and his other hand navigates around him till he gets a hold of Yoongi's other arm.
“You are still here?”
Yoongi looks at Jimin’s hands, one, he is holding in his own hand and the other, rests against his lower arm. Yoongi is conflicted and doesn’t know what is happening or what he is feeling. His mind is in shambles and questions are racing in a circle in his mind. But hold up, this is weird, Yoongi thinks. It is weird to know that for the first time he doesn’t mind all the questions right now. Why? He doesn’t know exactly, but something tells him it is because the answer to all of them is standing right in front of him.
“I was never gone.”
Jimin looks up and for the first time he actually manages to look into Yoongi's eyes at the first try.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want to overstep the boundaries as a stranger.” Jimin’s face breaks out in the most beautiful smile Yoongi has ever seen.
Jimin straightens his back a little so he stands more taller. Yoongi notices that they are almost the same height. “But we aren’t strangers anymore, Yoongi-ssi.” “Then what are we, Jimin-ssi?” Jimin’s neck flushes red. He lowers his head and looks at the ground, but when Yoongi lets a silence fall between them, Jimin looks back up. His head is still a little lowered, so he looks at Yoongi’s chest. “I don’t know. What do you call people like us?” Yoongi raises his eyebrow. “Like us?”
/Like people who just met, but fell in love?/ but neither of them say that.
Jimin murmurs something underneath his breath, something Yoongi can’t quite catch. “What was that?” “Nothing!” He squeaks. Yoongi didn’t know Jimin could get any cuter.
Suddenly, Jimin extends his hand, but it is again not greatly coordinated. Yoongi laughs, but doesn’t say anything. He just moves from his place and adjusts himself to Jimin’s hand.
“What does your hand mean, Jimin-ssi?” Yoongi tries not to pester him, but it is miraculously enough very difficult when he looks at him. When he looks at his now fully turned red face, pouty lips and eyes that are supposed to glare at him, but instead are sending daggers at the lamppost behind him. “Yoongi, this is your last chance.” Jimin threatens.
“How many chances did I even have?” Yoongi counters, putting his hands in his sides to mirror Jimin’s angry posture.
“U-Uhm.”
Yoongi softly chuckles when the other falls quiet at his question. He slides his hand into Jimin’s and securely holds him. “And now?”
It does something with Yoongi, knowing that he is the one making Jimin blush.
Jimin clears his throat before he speaks. “I once again want to, formally, thank you for what you did today and to pay you back I-” “Oh, Jimin, no. You don’t have to pay me back. Really.” Jimin squeezes a little too hard in his hand. “Just let me finish okay!”
Yoongi chuckles. “Okay, boss.”
That made Jimin laugh. “Boss?”
“Yeah, we just met but you are already ordering me around.” He jokes and it makes Jimin laugh ever harder. Yoongi likes Jimin’s laugh.
“Ugh just focus. No jokes anymore.”
Who is going to tell him that he has been focusing on him the second he laid his eyes on him, Yoongi thinks. “Okay. Okay. Whatever you say.”
Jimin takes a dramatically deep breath before he continues. “Okay, so, to thank you for what you did, I want to treat you too.”
“Are you asking me out on a date, Jimin?”
As Jimin goes through a series of coughs and splutters by Yoongi's boldness, Yoongi’s mind also goes into a crisis as to how and when he acquired the ability to flirt so easily. Perhaps he just hadn’t found the right person yet.
“I am so sorry for that. I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. I am such an idiot.” Jimin begins to wave his hands in the air as a sign to say that he is wrong. “No, Yoongi. That is not it. It is just that, you know, not many people have asked me out on a date, especially when they find out that I am blind.” Unfortunately, Yoongi can imagine that, but he doesn’t want to think about how Jimin has not only been deprived from his sight but also from a potential relationship.
“Do you think I don’t want to go on a date with you because you can’t see?” “I would understand if you would decline.” The answer comes. He is almost whispering at this point, too embarrassed maybe. But Yoongi thinks he has nothing to be embarrassed about.
“Hey Jimin.”
Jimin looks up and Yoongi finally does the thing he wanted to do the first time this happened. He gently cups Jimin’s cheek and turns his head around till he is facing him, till their eyes meet.
“Do you want to go on a date with me?''
Jimin smiles at the question, his eyes crinkle at the edges, forming two crescents.
Yoongi briefly thinks about how he had stood up this morning, executing his daily routine and expecting to just face another boring day. How he had breakfast alone at his table while Holly ate her food out of her bowl on the ground. How he walked out of the door and was already looking forward to the end of his shift so he could dive into his bed again. He didn't expect this. He didn't expect Jimin to just appear in his life.
‘’I really want to say yes, but…’’ Yoongi already knows that what Jimin is about to say is going to make him laugh. In fact just hearing him talk makes him smile.
‘’..but, you didn't tell me how you look like!’’ Yoongi laughs, as expected. ‘’Do you really want to know what I look like? I am afraid you will run away from me if you know.’’ Yoongi jokes, but his breath catches in his throat when Jimin's hand caresses his cheek. ‘’I want to know everything about you, Yoongi. I want to know how you look like, what your favourite colour is, what season you prefer, what your favourite flower is, everything.’’
When Jimin is done talking, Yoongi thinks that for the first time he feels his heart fluttering, (although he only presumes that the weird feeling in his chest can be labelled as the fluttering of someone’s heart.)
“I am just as tall as you,’’ Yoongi begins as he also starts to draw circles on the back of Jimin's hand. ‘’I have platinum blonde hair, deep brown eyes, and uhm, my friend’s always say I look like a cat, so do what you want with that information.’’ Jimin giggles, ‘’A cat?’’ ‘’Yeah, they say I have cat like eyes.’’ ‘’Oh really?’’ Yoongi only hums, feeling a little embarrassed after sharing that piece of information. ‘’You know Yoongi, I find you really handsome, beautiful even.’’
‘’Aah, Jimin don't say that. You can’t even see me.’’
‘’Oh Yoongi, I don't need to see you to know you are the most beautiful soul I have ever met.’’ Now it is Yoongi’s turn to blush. ‘’So, that means a yes to the date right?’’ Jimin smiles, ‘’Yes. I want to go on a date with you.’’
Yoongi wants to hug him, when someone suddenly shouts his name from behind, ‘’Yoongi hyung!’’ He turns around and comes face to face with Jungkook. He is holding a plastic bag in his hands, with presumably donuts from the shop he went to and is now looking from him to his hands and back.
Yoongi suddenly has the feeling he forgot something important.
‘’Where is my ice cream, hyung?’’
Aah, that was it.
Yoongi looks apologetically at his friend. ‘’I am sorry, Jungkook-ah, but..’’
Jungkook's angry face fell immediately when his eyes were set on Jimin's frame. Jimin looks a little uncomfortable as he doesn't know who has joined them right now. Yoongi follows Jungkook's eyes and turns around. His eyes soften and he holds both of Jimin's hands in his own, making the other smile again.
‘’.., I couldn't let him slip away from me.’’