Work Text:
Aloy stood on the brink of the platform at the arena, looking down at the scene below. Two acid clawstriders ambled around the enclosed space, crossing paths with an imposing scorcher.
“Whenever you’re ready!” yelled a Tenakth soldier standing at the entryway.
“Right,” the warrior mumbled to herself.
Aloy hadn’t visited the arena in a few months, having busied herself at the base looking for traces of Nemesis with Gaia.
Since their union, Kotallo had been allowed to stay with her, unless the chief needed his presence back at the Grove. It had been a blessing up until two weeks ago, when Hekarro enlisted him and a few other marshals for their seasonal engagement to visit every Tenakth settlement per their treaty. Bound to his duties, Kotallo had agreed without protest, but expressed his discontentment to Aloy about leaving her behind for two weeks.
The time had finally passed, Kotallo was returning today, and Aloy wanted to be present for when he arrived. Unfortunately, unforeseen events had caused his return to be delayed a few hours, forcing her to roam the area under the scorching sun for longer than intended. Just as she was starting to feel light-headed and seeking a place to rest, one conversation led to another, and suddenly she stood on the very edge, looking at machines below.
“Is she alright?”
She heard the soldiers discussing her odd behaviour from somewhere behind her. It was a question even she asked herself. She had spent countless times under the same sun, breathing the same suffocating air, killing machines. Why was she feeling so different today?
Taking in a deep breath, she tightly held onto her spear, and leaped off to the ground. A round of angry flashing red lights was the last thing she remembered.
Aloy woke in a quiet area, sheltered from the sun, sore but not bruised. She raised her head to see her surroundings, but nausea flooded her senses.
“Stay still,” cautioned a woman from the entrance.
“What happened?”
Dekka entered the room, a bowl in hand. She gently pushed Aloy back down and took a seat on a wooden bench alongside her bed.
“You lost consciousness as soon as you touched the ground,” the older woman explained. “The overseers barely had time to drag you out to safety.”
“Has Kotallo arrived?”
“No, dear. Not yet.”
Sighing, Aloy closed her eyes and massaged her temple. A moment later, her hand was pushed away to be replaced by a damp cloth.
“You should not exert yourself in your condition.”
Aloy frowned. “My condition?”
Dekka used the cloth to gently dab her forehead, before soaking it back into the bowl of water on her laps. She peeked one look at Aloy, who was staring back at her expectantly.
“How have you been feeling lately?” she asked.
“Fine. I’m fine. Only tired.”
Dekka lifted the cloth back up to Aloy’s forehead, but the younger woman took it from her, dropping it back into the bowl.
“I appreciate the intention, but I don’t like being touched…like this.”
“I understand,” Dekka smiled apologetically, storing the bowl aside.
Aloy dropped her legs down the side of the bed, ready to stand, but Dekka gently held her back.
“I wish to speak with you before you go.”
“Is something wrong with me?”
“I could tell right away, as soon as I laid eyes on you.”
“Cut to the chase, Dekka. I’m not in the frame of mind to be patient.”
“You are with child, Aloy.”
Stunned, Aloy stared at her in shock.
“It’s impossible,” she chuckled, but the humour was absent. “I just can’t. Call it a genetic issue.”
“Our practitioners have come to the same conclusion. You are an expectant mother. The heat and dehydration have caused you to faint.”
If Aloy had felt nauseated before, the feeling overwhelming her now was exponentially greater. Gaia had confirmed that the probability of her experiencing pregnancy was low. Exceptionally low. It had never caused an issue because she never once imagined being a mother. Kotallo had also never mentioned his intention of becoming a parent either.
“I will give you privacy and see if Kotallo has returned.”
“No!” Aloy said urgently. “Please, no, don’t tell him anything. In fact, I would rather be alone for awhile.”
Concerned but respecting her wishes, Dekka picked up the discarded water bowl and exited the room.
Clutching the bedsheet tightly enough to make her knuckles turn white, Aloy tried to regulate her heavy breathing.
“Gaia, are you there?”
“Aloy,” she greeted.
“Is it true?”
“You will have to elaborate on your question.”
Tears started welling up in her eyes, but Aloy aggressively brushed them off.
“It’s impossible! I cannot bear children. They’re wrong, right?”
“My system does not allow me to conduct such analysis. I have recorded considerate changes in your vitals, but I am unable to inspect the cause. They often stem from sleep deprivation and malnourishment.”
Aloy felt as vulnerable as standing unarmed opposite side a slaughterspine. Nothing made sense, it just couldn’t be true. She glanced down at herself, looking for any proof that would corroborate their diagnosis.
She was not meant to be a mother, not now, not ever. Having no reference for motherhood, Aloy had only known to be a warrior. She was unsuitable for this role.
“Although I have calculated that the probability of pregnancy to be low, I must specify that it was not impossible.”
“It’s a misunderstanding, it has to,” she said, still in shock.
“Has Kotallo returned?”
Aloy froze at the mention of her husband’s name. He had never mentioned wanting to father children or voiced his disappointment when she unveiled that she could not conceive. What would the marshal say once she revealed the news? She feared his reaction the greatest. She always believed she would live her life in solitude, until meeting him. Now she dreaded returning to that feeling of isolation.
Distraught, Aloy sprung from her seat and barged through the door. She needed to leave, be away from everyone, to be given time to breathe and think. She stumbled into an open room, in front of guards and Dekka. The colors drained from her face when everyone turned to look at her, startled by her sudden outburst.
“Aloy?”
Aloy looked to her right to see Kotallo standing a few feet away. She felt indecisive whether she should run to him, or away. Thankfully, he made the decision for her and crossed the room in a few strides to reach her. He led her back inside the chamber, closing the large wooden door behind them for privacy.
“What happened?” he asked, pulling her close in an embrace. “I was just told that you lost consciousness in the arena. Are you hurt?”
Aloy remained silent, losing herself in his hug. This had not been the kind of reunion she expected after being apart for two weeks.
“Aloy, speak,” he demanded, but she shook her head.
Breaking the embrace, but staying close, he stared at her confusedly. “This is unlike you. Did something happen while I was away?”
Aloy traced his facial features with her eyes adoringly. She never imagined she would one day find a lover, but Talanah had been right. Once you come across love, you just know. Although it took her a little more time to realise it than the average person. She still couldn’t bring herself to mention the pregnancy to him.
“Your silence is worrisome,” he said, cupping the side of her face. She held her eyes closed, enjoying the comfort. His touch was the only one she craved for out of anyone else’s in the world. She fought to keep the tears back as she leaned further into his hand.
“I don’t know how to tell you this,” she confessed.
“Tell me.”
“It’s not that easy to say.”
“Aloy,” he warned. “If someone has—”
“No one has done me harm,” she reassured. “If someone dared tried, they would likely be fatally injured by now.”
“I’m sorry, but I am not in a mood for humour.”
“I’m with child,” she blurted out, reluctantly taking a step back to gauge his reaction.
Kotallo stood still, his mind slowly processing her words.
“By the Ten, how is this possible? You told me you could not conceive.”
“I did,” she agreed, her voice beginning to quiver. “I promise you that I didn’t think I could.”
Kotallo looked her carefully. “How are you feeling about this?”
She frowned. “Upset. Aren’t you?” she asked, slightly irritated.
Sighing, the marshal retreated to sit on the wooden bench, which had previously served as a seat for Dekka. He took her hand and led her to the bed, urging her to sit in front of him.
“I understand that you are scared.”
“I’m an—”
“It’s normal to be scared, Aloy” he reiterated.
“There is nothing normal about this!” she said. “I was not meant to carry a child.”
“Yet, you are.”
“I am still bound to my mission!”
“We are,” he agreed. “This has not changed.”
“Why are you so calm about this?” she asked, trying to twist her hand out from his grasp, but he remained calm, holding her tighter.
“Aloy, I am happy that you are carrying my child. However, if it makes you feel miserable—”
“I am inadequate for motherhood.”
“No one is born with the knowledge of everything.”
“But you have never expressed a need to have children.”
“I would never have conveyed a desire to have children to my wife who believed she could not bear any.”
“You…always wanted children?”
“All that is important to me, is to have you by my side, regardless of anything else.”
“Are you happy?”
“Only when you share the sentiment.”
Aloy lowered her head, her sight dropping at their joined hands on his laps. Kotallo was wrong, she was not miserable, but felt terrified. She was ill-equipped to become a mother. Zo had the patience, understanding and an excessive amount of love to give. What did she have? She was a broken human, raised as an outcast, with no idea how to be a mother. How could Kotallo entrust so much confidence in her to allow her to raise his child?
Kotallo stood, pulling her with him. She instinctively wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. She was going to be a mother.
“I’m scared,” she confessed. “About Nemesis and now this.”
“I know,” he said. “It would be a lie if I told you I didn’t feel the same.”
“What courageous people, we are,” she teased.
Relieved to hear humour again, he smiled and gently stroke her hair. “You should get some rest. I’m concerned about your fall in the arena.”
“I’m fine,” she reassured him, but then paused. “We’re fine.”
Kotallo’s smile widen, and he looked down to see her timidly smiling back, her face glowing. He tucked away a lose strand of hair behind her ear and pulled her chin up. He kissed her lovingly, savouring the moment.
“You will make a wonderful mother, Aloy.”
“If I can take down machines, I can surely take on a baby.”
He laughed.
- ¤ -