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Keonhee has always had the cutest cheeks.
Hwanwoong can attest to that with all the pre-debut pictures and footage they have around the internet, which he has saved in a secret folder on his phone along with some candids he takes sometimes and no, he's not a creep since Keonhee himself is the one who requests his photographer skills for those.
But that's not the focus of Hwanwoong's trail of thought. His biggest concern is how he has been paying extra attention to that recently and, how it has somehow, been taking sleep away from him.
He's always been around Keonhee, paid attention to him and took notice of small gestures between them like Keonhee's obsession with rubbing his hand under his chin and, despite his cheeks being the same ever since they met, Hwanwoong doesn't remember being so enthusiastic about them. Although, he does remember that he has this habit of poking Keonhee on the cheek out of the blue even before they debuted.
Now though, whenever they're in the same room, his eyes travel to Keonhee's face and he stares and wishes he could pinch or poke or, god forbid anyone ever hears a word about it, kiss them - he has done that before but he was not this obsessed like this back then, a shame really. He's caught most of the time and Keonhee always gives him a raised eyebrow before sending one of his beautiful smiles his way.
That situation repeats itself many times, so much that it becomes another habit of theirs that has thankfully not been caught on camera so far. Hwanwoong would die if he ever saw edits of him being embarrassing all over Twxtter while he's using his sock account. Actually, he wishes no one will get footage of this interaction of theirs, ever. He wants to keep it all to himself and not share it with the world.
These intimate moments where it seems they're in their own world send shivers down his spine every single time because Hwanwoong has realized halfway through LIT promotions just how deep of a crush he had on his friend - the blue hair opened his eyes once and for all - and they're special moments to him - it's more than Hwanwoong himself can handle to be honest but he can't help but treasure them even if he's on the verge of having a heart attack every time.
But maybe, it is just a phase, the cheek thing. The same way he remembers being enamored with Keonhee's braces but perhaps that one didn't last as long because Keonhee had to take them off after it had done its job but it was a very cute look on him, Hwanwoong visualizes it and sighs at the memory of Keonhee's metallic smile he often showcased at the dorms.
Hwanwoong gets lost arguing with himself, trying to make his hyperfixation with random body parts of Keonhee less embarrassing and failing since his own arguments are too weak.
He settles with Keonhee is too pretty and it's just hard not to look when I know how in love I am with him and calls it a day.
Hwanwoong often catches himself wondering if there is the possibility of Keonhee feeling the same way about him.
Is he even into men? Hwanwoong doesn't remember hearing Keonhee talk about women even once so the possibility is higher than normal because he remembers how his classmates in high school would spend their entire break talking about girls and dating girls and kissing girls while he just wanted to either dance or sleep - or eat, for that matter. That doesn't stop him from thinking it's impossible as well, damn his overworking brain.
As he's resting after spending the whole morning at the practice room, another thought crosses his mind and hits him like a hurricane: now with the increase in their popularity there will be more eyes watching them, Hwanwoong has to be even more careful not to be caught staring at Keonhee for too long or too lovingly in public. Which, if he has to be honest, is hard. He's put to stand by Keonhee's side 99% of the time and Hwanwoong has the habit of turning to the side and looking up at him whenever he's speaking. He knows there's a twinkle in his eyes along with a small smile when that happens and he doesn't want to be obvious about it.
He's also not completely sure but he has a guess that Keonhee also has a sock account and is aware of everything that goes on on Twxtter just like Hwanwoong does. Hwanwoong is going to die if Keonhee ever comes across edits of them because he has seen them, has liked them, retweeted them and looks at them from time to time. Hwanwoong is in too deep, he knows, and he looks too smitten with Keonhee in those.
What Hwanwoong knows is that Keonhee monitors their activities but he doesn't bother rewatching their Vlives as they're too long and too many. This knowledge alone is what keeps his sanity at bay. Hwanwoong slips up the most during those and it's different from when they record as a group with the staff behind cameras, with a rather-loose-but-still-a-script to follow. It's easy to forget that he's being caught on camera with just a phone in front of them.
He's staring off into the ceiling when he hears chatter coming from the hall. Everyone else went out after lunch, the day being too nice to be locked inside the dorms but Hwanwoong was tired and needed time for himself so he's surprised anyone's there at all.
"Hyung," Dongju's head peeks through the open door and Hwanwoong lifts his head enough that he can look at the younger's face properly. "We're going out again for ice cream before we resume practice in two hours, do you wanna come with us?"
Hwanwoong considers declining the offer. Then he catches something in Dongju's eyes that unsettles him.
"Keonhee hyung is coming too," Dongju says with a knowing grin and Hwanwoong feels his stomach drop, the back of his neck suddenly feels hot with anxiety and he gulps. "It's gonna be just the three of us. Hak hyung, Seoho hyung and Youngjo hyung are all somewhere else."
Hwanwoong accepts the offer with a single nod and burns at the back of his mind the look in Dongju's face.
No words are needed for Hwanwoong to get the message: he knows.
And what's worse: now that Dongju knows that Hwanwoong is aware of his knowledge, he'll want to talk about it later because they're roommates and Dongju is as nosy as he can be when it comes to these things plus Hwanwoong can't possibly avoid him.
Hwanwoong tries to keep the anxiety as an after-thought - is that even possible? - and barely succeeds. It takes him intense concentration during practice - not that hard - and avoiding interaction with Dongju - pretty hard - until they make it to their bedroom.
The moment the door is closed and the two are alone, Dongju makes a beeline to his bed as though Hwanwoong is his prey.
"Hyung," Dongju giggles right after and throws his whole body down on Hwanwoong's bed. "When are you gonna tell him?"
Hwanwoong splutters.
"What do you mean by tell him?" Hwanwoong says, a little outraged at how he's going straight to the point and taking him off guard, which makes Hwanwoong fail at his initial plan of acting nonchalant. "Tell who, what?"
Dongju rolls his eyes and turns around, propping his elbows on the mattress and leaning his head on his hands so as to look down at Hwanwoong, who's currently sprawled out like a starfish on the small space Dongju is letting him take of his own bed. He even moves his legs back and forth, the audacity.
"You know who and you know what," Dongju says with a monotonous tone. "Don't be difficult, you're so obvious."
Hwanwoong, too baffled to even feel embarrassed, pinches Dongju's sides and groans, covering his face with both hands.
"I'm obvious? Does it mean Keonhee knows too?" Hwanwoong lets out a cry, kicking his blankets off the bed.
"I think he doesn't, he's not that observant unless we're talking about food," Dongju shrugs and swings his legs back and forth. "I just happen to keep an eye on you guys. I wish you would act like a fool more often so I could make more edits and post them to my fan account."
Hwanwoong shoves Dongju off his bed at those words. Damn him for saying exactly what Hwanwoong doesn't want to happen, it's like he knows.
Hwanwoong freezes and mulls over Dongju's words.
"Wait, post them to your what?"
"God, hyung. Are you having hearing problems today?" Dongju gets up from the floor and sits down by Hwanwoong's side. "To my fan account. Someone had to make edits of you being embarrassing because of Keonhee hyung and since no one was doing this much needed work, I took it up as my mission"
"Oh for fuck's sake, Ju," Hwanwoong pushes him away again and all Dongju does is laugh all the way to his side of the room. "Please, don't tell me you're princessju0110."
"I would but then it'd be a lie," Dongju gives Hwanwoong a wicked grin and exits the bedroom for a shower. At least he has the decency of letting Hwanwoong have a meltdown without witnesses.
"Ju, I'm not telling him," Hwanwoong hisses when Dongju questions him about it for the fifth time in the span of three days. It's unnerving how Dongju makes it sound like it's the most reasonable solution for Hwanwoong's dilemma which, of course, would be if Hwanwoong was sure he would get an affirmative response but he doesn't know where Keonhee stands. Heck, he was wondering whether his friend was into men or not three days ago so it would be worse than going alone to a new place for the first time.
Meaning that: Hwanwoong is scared and would rather not mess up the way their dynamics is right now. It's a perfect balance of friendly with overshadowed flirty notes because they like to tease each other and Keonhee is always up for it, says and does the most ridiculous things just to embarrass Hwanwoong - it always works. It's comfortable and, if confessing what he feels is going to ruin that, Hwanwoong prefers to keep it to himself.
"Why not?" Dongju whines, throwing his wet towel at Hwanwoong. He's just gotten back from a shower and Hwanwoong is chilling on his bed, checking out some new songs he wants to choreograph and post on their TikTxk and Yoxtube accounts. "It'll be like killing two birds with one stone."
Hwanwoong laughs, rolls his eyes and throws Dongju's towel back at him with half the force, having it land on the floor between the two beds.
"Ha ha ha," he says in the fakest and most forced way possible, making sure to roll his eyes again and have Dongju see it. "You're sooo funny. Please tell me, how is it killing two birds with one stone? Actually, let me tell you how it would go," Hwanwoong puts his earbuds on the bedside table and sits down, his whole body turned to Dongju's direction. Dongju looks unimpressed. "I confess. He starts avoiding me. Things get awkward. The group gets ruined because of it. End of ONEUS. The two birds getting killed are the group and the great friendship I have with him right now."
Dongju lets out a sigh that shows he's had enough and pushes his wet hair out of his eyes.
"If you say so," he replies instead of the jab Hwanwoong was expecting. "I'll leave you be then but I will be the first one saying I told you so in your face."
Very predictable words coming from Dongju. Hwanwoong loves him and would do many unthinkable things to keep him safe and make him smile but Dongju surely knows how to be an absolute menace.
"I'll be waiting for it then," Hwanwoong replies, sticking a tongue out at Dongju who's still looking at him. As he motions to lay back down on his bed, he grabs his earbuds and resumes his previous activities.
That night he dreams of confessing his feelings to Keonhee and wakes up in cold sweat at 4am. Dongju is snoring away on his side of the room and Hwanwoong is shaking, his mind being the best at making his fears increase tenfold when he's swimming in his worries and badly concealed anxiety.
And oh dear, his anxiety makes him do the most stupid things. He knows he's going to fuck up by the end of the week and just prepares himself, trying to pay attention to his own behavior and, obviously, failing miserably because the ever so distracted Youngjo calls him to have a talk in private after two days since he had the final talk over that subject with Dongju.
"Did you and Keonhee get into an argument?" Youngjo asks, the look on his face shows concern and he's doing the pressing his lips in a thin line thing, making it even more evident how worried he is. Hwanwoong feigns ignorance and tilts his head to try to show confusion. "It's just that you guys have been so quiet since yesterday and you're all so lively during practice. He's come to ask me about it because he was worried he might've gotten you angry or something."
Oh god, now Hwanwoong has done it. Maybe Dongju is right and he's too obvious with the way he expresses himself, especially when he doesn't want to show what he's feeling. He tries to come up with a lie on the spot.
"Nothing happened hyung," Hwanwoong says and yawns, trying to make himself look tired which is passable because, if asked, he'd be up for a nap at this exact moment. "I'm just anxious for our comeback and tired from the tour. Still recovering from it even though it was over three months ago."
Youngjo nods at his words, slowly.
"It's as if all the anxiety accumulated in my body during the preparations for it are only catching up to me right now," Hwanwoong continues, adding a tiny bit of the truth to it so he doesn't feel bad for concealing the important information from what he's saying. "You know how I get after staying so much time away from home."
Because Hwanwoong loves touring but it's always exhausting, rewarding but exhausting. And the added stress of his feelings for Keonhee are just taking a toll on him, more on the mental side but still, he spends too much time thinking about it and it's not healthy.
"Can you tell that to Keonhee for me?" Hwanwoong asks, almost pleads, and Youngjo seems to get it and nods. "I promise I'll try my best to be back to normal and not hinder our group relationship."
"That's not what I was worried about," Youngjo scoffs and shakes his head. "I know you guys will figure it out yourselves, I just don't like seeing you two look so gloomy without knowing the reason."
Hwanwoong nods at him and pinky promises he will see what he can do about it.
The next time Hwanwoong sees Keonhee he breaks into a smile and acts as if nothing happened. Keonhee doesn't seem to mind it and goes along with it, draping an arm around Hwanwoong's shoulders and pulling him close against himself, laughing as he tells him about whatever eccentric antics Seoho has been pulling lately.
It all goes back to normal but not really. Hwanwoong still goes to sleep thinking about Keonhee and his worries regarding his crush on him. Still tries to conceal his feelings while acting the same way as he always does.
He's going to break and bend one day but he hopes it'll give him enough time to get ready for it.
As if being obsessed with Keonhee's cheeks wasn't enough, Hwanwoong adds another characteristic of his to the list instead of moving on to his next fixation.
Around a month has passed since his talk with Youngjo - although it does feel like it's been much longer than that - and they're just in the beginning of promotions for their new song when it happens.
It could have literally been everything: Keonhee's broad shoulders or his long legs, even his collarbones but no, Hwanwoong can't stop staring at the corner of Keonhee's lips and the way they naturally curl up a little on its end - it resembles that face people use on the internet, the colon followed by the number three (:3) - and Hwanwoong thinks it's the cutest thing ever.
He tries his best not to get lost staring at Keonhee's smile and does a rather good job, he even feels proud of himself. What he does not feel proud of is the amount of pictures he has saved of Keonhee now and keeps on that same secret folder.
In order to avoid the whole crisis he went through previously, Hwanwoong opted out of embarrassing himself by being caught staring and ends up looking at pictures of Keonhee when he's by himself during individual practice or before going to sleep instead.
Hwanwoong feels that after being so self-conscious of how he had been behaving, he's started to create some different coping mechanisms that prevent his feelings from bleeding out of him without anyone's notice. He still smiles at Keonhee and they still do their little game of push and pull in front of the cameras and everyone else but Hwanwoong tries to keep those feelings that run deep locked behind bars, in a place only he has the key for.
It works well, until it doesn't because, certainly, something has to go wrong.
And it's all so ridiculous that Hwanwoong feels like his life is a gag show or a badly written piece of fiction.
"Wait a damn moment," Hwanwoong hears Keonhee exclaim, scream, from the kitchen and he bolts out of his bed, wondering just what the hell is going on. "You have a fan account on Twxtter too?"
Hwanwoong is once again struck with that amazing feeling his anxiety blesses him with, the back of his neck burns hot and he feels lightheaded, all in less than three seconds.
The mention of their secret social media accounts leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.
As soon as Hwanwoong makes it to the kitchen, he's met with an unexpected yet expected scene: Keonhee is staring into Dongju's phone, eyes wide.
"And you're telling me you're princessju0110?" Keonhee gapes and Hwanwoong feels like he might just pass out. "Are you kidding me? I follow you with my own fan account."
Dongju looks up at Keonhee who's standing right by his side and gives him a heart-shaped smile.
"I think Woongie hyung follows me too," Dongju says and turns to look at Hwanwoong who's standing by the kitchen entrance with an expression on his face that only shows that he was not expecting to be dragged into the conversation like this. "You do, right? You mentioned my username the last time we talked about Twxtter."
"I do, kinda," Hwanwoong trails off. The thing with following Dongju's account is: it's not a very big account. Dongju tweets and posts very specific things, more specifically about Hwanwoong and Keonhee, he talks about them and posts edits of them like any other fan who thinks they look adorable together - Hwanwoong has a suspicion Dongju might even write fanfiction of them, he hasn't looked too much into it. That's what sends Hwanwoong into a new world of thoughts. "Why do you follow him though?" Hwanwoong inquiries, ignoring the fact that he does as well. He wants to poke and probe enough to figure out what Keonhee's reason is, if not the same one as his.
Keonhee turns red in an instant and Dongju's gaze travels from Hwanwoong to Keonhee who's still standing by his side, then he smiles so big Keonhee takes a step back.
"Wait a damn moment," Dongju interrupts, copying Keonhee's words and tone from some minutes ago, and puts his phone down. "Are you tigerbunny98?" Dongju bursts out laughing and Keonhee looks like he regrets opening his mouth. It was clearly a bait, Dongju shot in the dark and hit the bullseye. "That account with the super giant Hwanwoong photocard collection? Oh my God, it is you. You guys are hopeless."
"Look, it's not super giant," Keonhee hisses, looking extremely and utterly embarrassed, and Hwanwoong is so confused all he can do is stare at the two dumbly from where he is standing.
"You have all the photocards ever released! Including pre-debut, broadcast and pre-order and fancall benefits. Do you even know how many there are?" Dongju exclaims, eyes wide. "I can't believe that's you. Do you have manager-nim get you those?"
Keonhee nods.
"Yes and no. For the winner photocards I personally contacted the printing company and begged them to manufacture an extra one for me whenever Woong is in it since I don't apply for the fancalls but still want them. Besides, I don't have space to keep a bunch of albums I purchased just for the photocards," Hwanwoong really can't believe his ears, this whole conversation going on right in front of him seems like it has been brewed out of Hwanwoong's sleep deprivation due to intensive practice they've been having mixed with caffeine and soju. "I did pay for those though, they were not for free. And I had to prove I was myself and not some random person pretending to be me, it was embarrassing enough."
As Keonhee and Dongju argue and reason over the subject - "honestly hyung, that's like cheating", "shut up, Dongju" -, Hwanwoong makes good use of the fact they forgot he's there and fishes for his phone that's in his pocket. He opens Twxtter and searches up Keonhee's account, taking a sharp inhale when he sees the whole layout: the display picture is a selca he posted long ago during No Diggity era with the radioactive pink hair and the bio reads hwanwoong collector and food connoisseur. Then Hwanwoong scrolls down and sees the pinned tweet that's basically pictures upon pictures of his photocards.
It's a giant collection, just like Dongju said, that is kept in three medium sized binders. Hwanwoong is truly impressed, there's no other word to express what he feels - respect, perhaps, is a close second.
Although, he can't help but burst out laughing at how absurd that is. The kitchen falls silent as he catches his breath and Hwanwoong is met with the two staring at him.
"What's so funny?" Dongju asks in curiosity and Keonhee mimics the same curious look.
"I searched up Keonhee's account and I-"
Keonhee lets out a frustrated whine and, if possible, turns ever redder.
"Please, don't make fun of me," Keonhee says when he regains his composure, it takes him only a minute although he still looks mortified. "And answering your previous question," Keonhee says, it would look like he's trying to change the subject but Hwanwoong notices how he's staring down at his own hands and shaking slightly. That's not the look of someone who's running away from a conversation but rather of someone who's gathering courage to speak the truth. "I follow Ju's account because I like his edits."
Dongju gives Hwanwoong a look.
"I told you so, loser," Dongju points a finger at Hwanwoong and laughs. Keonhee watches the scene with a question in his eyes. "Woongie hyung, what's your username on the platform?"
Hwanwoong hesitates before replying but just a little because he knows there's nothing incriminating on his account. "It's dachshund0826."
Dongju gets to work and searches him up on Twxtter.
"You take this whole anonymous thing too seriously," Dongju comments and Hwanwoong nods because his account is locked, all he does there is like posts, retweet the things he likes - mostly Dongju's edits and the selcas Keonhee posts on the official ONEUS account - and use it as his journal as it is not safe to have one in the dorms. He's quite sure Dongju would secretly read it when he's not in their room and there was always the risk of Keonhee accidentally stumbling and reading it - Hwanwoong is not the most organized and would likely forget it all over the place.
"Can we pretend this never happened?" Keonhee says after the silence stretches for some time, a pained look on his face. He's not even making eye contact with Hwanwoong and keeps his gaze trained on the floor. "I know it's creepy and there's an explanation as to why I collect only your photocards and no one else's, I-"
"I'm outta here," Dongju announces and stands up from the chair, rushing to their bedroom and leaving Hwanwoong and Keonhee by themselves - he slams the door closed, most likely to make a point, Hwanwoong is not sure. The dorms are empty aside from the three of them, Hwanwoong is guessing the other three are out and about shopping since it is afternoon and in the middle of the week or they're working out at the gym - they as in Youngjo and Geonhak, Seoho would most likely be somewhere else -, both options are likely possibilities.
For once, Hwanwoong is thankful for Dongju's meddling - and how he just knows when he should leave them be. Hopefully they will be able to solve this without any problems.
Hwanwoong glances at Keonhee and sighs. He's sure Keonhee is overthinking and taking his silence as a bad thing. He takes a step forward and Keonhee immediately looks up at him with wide eyes.
"Can we sit down on the couch or something?" Hwanwoong requests and walks up to it before waiting for an answer. Keonhee follows him.
"Look," Keonhee starts as soon as he sits down, keeping his distance from Hwanwoong and looking everywhere but at him. "I'm sorry to have it go this way. I was planning to tell you and all but I didn't know how to bring the subject up. It'd be so awkward if I came up to you and just went hey, I have had a crush on you for the longest time, by the way, I collect pieces of paper with your face on it since before debut, wanna check it out?"
Hwanwoong opens his mouth to speak but doesn't know what to say. All of this feels surreal and he wonders if this is a figment of his imagination. Maybe he's hallucinating because the whole conversation about Twxtter and photocards sounded like a fever dream.
He pinches himself and then reaches out to pinch Keonhee - just to make sure -, who yelps in surprise and finally looks up at Hwanwoong. Hwanwoong stares back with a quizzical look on his face.
"Okay, I'm not dreaming or hallucinating," Hwanwoong says out loud with a small smile playing on his lips and Keonhee looks even more confused. "Do you wanna show me your collection?"
Keonhee turns to look around, as if he's searching for something.
"Is this a prank?" he asks when he doesn't seem to find what he was looking for. "I don't see any cameras."
"I'm the one who should be asking that," Hwanwoong replies. "We're really helpless," he laughs softly and gathers the courage for his next words, it's easier now that his feelings are reciprocated. "Keonhee-ah, I've had a crush on you for so long that I don't even know when it began, I mean, I know but I'm not getting into details right now. One day I looked at you and thought damn, I really am in love with that idiot."
"Hey!" Keonhee exclaims but there's fondness in his tone and relief on his face. He ends up laughing and Hwanwoong watches him with the usual awe and adoration, thinking to himself about how it is possible that someone can be this beautiful. Hwanwoong doesn't notice that he's been staring for so long until he sees Keonhee's lips being pressed into a thin line, the corners lifting upward slightly and looking so so cute Hwanwoong has to hold back a giggle. Then he's biting his lower lip out of nervousness. "Is there something on my face?"
That's such a cliché line that Hwanwoong is the one laughing now, shaking his head in reply to that question.
"Since we're being honest," Hwanwoong says once he's calmed down. Keonhee peers at him with curiosity. "I think it's unfair how cute you are despite being a grown ass man who's a head taller than me. I love your squishy cheeks and the way the corner of your lips curl up when you smile. I also miss how adorable the braces looked on you but I'm happy you talk as if they were still there."
Keonhee turns red in an instant, probably not used to this kind of detailed compliment.
"What do you mean with the last part?" he asks in curiosity and Hwanwoong laughs behind his hands.
"You jut out your lower lip when you speak and it looks like you're pouting," Hwanwoong explains and Keonhee opens his mouth, muttering a long ooohhhh and nodding.
Silence falls and they shyly glance at each other.
"And what do we do now?" Keonhee says, his voice soft as he nervously runs his hands on his arms as though he's feeling cold. "I never thought this would happen and I don't know what should be done next. I know I flirt a lot in front of the cameras, during fansigns and on Vlives but I've never had the time to date before and I don't know how to proceed with this, any ideas?"
Hwanwoong stifles a laugh, Keonhee looks so cute with the clueless expression in his eyes and the way he's pressing his lips together out of nervousness. Hwanwoong stands up and dusts his pants even though there's nothing on them.
"Why don't you start by showing me your collection and we see from there?" Hwanwoong offers his hand and Keonhee looks at it for a second before slowly reaching out and letting Hwanwoong pull him up.
They smile at each other before Keonhee leads the way to his shared room with Seoho. Hwanwoong is surprised when he sees Keonhee reaching up for a medium sized box hidden under his bed, there are in fact four binders instead of the three from the picture on Keonhee's account and the two sit down on the floor to look through them. Hwanwoong thinks it's funny how well cared for and organized those are and they spend at least an hour going through it all while Keonhee tells him about the struggle of actually getting some of them - it involved a good amount of emails exchanged with the manufacturers and actual video calls with said manufacturers, the trickiest being the ones responsible for the fancalls in China and Japan.
It's fun and actually cute how Keonhee is enthusiastic about it, although he did say on camera that he doesn't get why the fans can't just print out pictures and make the photocards themselves because there he is, collecting pieces of papers too but he looks happy and that's what matters.
In such an unexpected way, Hwanwoong feels appreciated. The way this photocard collection was Keonhee's solace in order to keep his sanity over his crush on Hwanwoong - Keonhee's own words - is not that different from how Hwanwoong uses Twxtter to talk about his feelings - and, by extension, the same thing can be said about Dongju with shipping.
Hwanwoong doesn't say that out loud though, not sure how to voice it without making it sound lame.
By the time Seoho is knocking on the open door to gather their attention, Keonhee's collection is already safely put to its proper place and Hwanwoong and him are only chatting randomly about things, not really touching the 'crush' and 'what do we do next?' subject but it's not awkward, there is no tension and Hwanwoong feels relaxed despite their rushed and tight schedule the following day.
"We have MuBank early tomorrow morning," Seoho says, yawning and stretching his arms. "I'm gonna shower and I want Woongie gone by the time I make it back to our room."
There is no threat in his tone but Seoho's words are final. Hwanwoong rolls his eyes when Seoho is looking just to spite him a little and stands up.
"Thanks for showing those to me," Hwanwoong says, referring to Keonhee's collection, when Seoho is out of the room. "I think it'll be better if we postpone addressing the situation until we're done with promotions," Hwanwoong mumbles, not really liking the idea because he wants to do something about it now but as a lot of people have their eyes on them after their popularity increased, he knows one slip is enough to make it to Dispxtch and Hwanwoong would rather avoid that from happening. "It's risky right now and it'd add up to the stress we're already going through."
Keonhee nods.
"I was going to suggest that too," he says, a frown adorning his pretty face, and Hwanwoong points to the door. "Right, you should go. We need to be well rested, I love performing but I hate waking up at 3 in the morning to make it in time for it."
"Goodnight then," he says and turns to leave.
"Wait," Keonhee says and manages to get hold of Hwanwoong's wrist before he's out of reach. Hwanwoong stops, one foot in the air as he was about to take another step, and turns back to see what Keonhee wants. Hwanwoong is surprised when he sees Keonhee standing right in front of him and he almost bumps against his chest. "I know we generally do this a lot without any of us having to ask for it and all but can I, uh, hug you?"
Hwanwoong bursts out laughing and hugs him without a single word, wrapping his arms around Keonhee's torso and pressing the right side of his face against his collarbones. They stay in that position for a total of about ten seconds, the warmth of their bodies pressed together like that and the delicate smell of Keonhee's perfume filling Hwanwoong's senses is calming and gives him a sense of belonging.
Keonhee is the one who lets go first and Hwanwoong awkwardly places a quick peck to his cheeks before blushing so hard he feels the moment his face heats up.
"Goodnight," he says again, his voice a lot higher than before. Hwanwoong cringes at himself and over the fact that he's acting like a teenager when he's almost twenty-four. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Keonhee nods and Hwanwoong sees that he's watching with a hand resting on the cheek he kissed as he leaves. He takes one last glance before he's darting down the corridor and into his bedroom. He closes the door and leans against it, then he's faced with Dongju's knowing smile.
"Not a single word," Hwanwoong says, quickly changing into his pajamas and getting under his blankets. As he has taken a shower earlier while he was all alone at the dorms, Hwanwoong spends the time until Dongju turns the lights off thinking about Keonhee, the way his cheek felt soft against his lips and the way it feels like he's living one of those movies he groans and rolls his eyes at how sappy they are.
He sees their appeal now.
Different from what Hwanwoong expected, the fact that they're not addressing their situation makes him extremely restless instead of glad that they're not risking themselves to be outed.
He wakes up thinking about it, goes about his busy day thinking about it and goes to bed thinking about it. He's jittery and distracted, it's hard to concentrate properly when all he can think about is the fact that he's not going on dates with Keonhee when he knows he could be.
But the years of being forced to wait for things to happen pay off, kinda; at least he manages to be patient despite his frustration. Instead, he channels all his restlessness - or at least most of it - into doing his absolute best during each performance during the promotions period, doing as much as staying past midnight in the company's practice room multiple days a week since he ends up distracted when they're gathered as a group.
Everyone notices it but Hwanwoong is someone who gets stressed like this during promotions every time ONEUS' has a comeback, therefore he's not questioned. The members' concern is shown in actions though and Hwanwoong is thankful for each of them. It ranges from a small gesture such as Dongju leaving a choco pie on top of his pillow - which he almost smushes by accident - to Youngjo buying him that - expensive - synthetic blood red leather jacket he had saved on his wishlist.
He's so stressed that it bleeds out even when Dongmyeong comes over to visit Dongju. No words are said from Hwanwoong's party but Dongmyeong kneels in front of him and stares at his face.
Hwanwoong, who's leaning against the wall, legs criss-crossed and busy checking out songs with his noise canceling headphones on, takes a hot minute to notice Dongmyeong is trying to speak to him without being an actual disturbance. He looks up from his phone in surprise when he sees that he's been stared at by the intruder - as he did not know Dongmyeong would be showing up.
"What's making you look so serious and tense?" Dongmyeong asks, taking a seat by Hwanwoong's bed without an invitation but Hwanwoong doesn't truly mind, rooming with Dongju has taught him how to tolerate a few things - one of them being the lack of personal space, Dongmyeong is just like Dongju in this aspect.
Hwanwoong sighs, puts his headphones down to rest around his neck and stares up at the ceiling.
"Nothing," he says despite all the dramatics. "It's just the last-week-of-promotions kind of stress. 'Cause, you know, we're gearing up for the next release as soon as we're done with this one."
"Nothing you're not used to at this point though," Dongmyeong says truthfully and Hwanwoong can't help but agree, it's been three years since their debut after all. He nods and sighs again. "Is it the whole Keonhee situation?"
Hwanwoong would gasp, show surprise and deny it if it weren't Dongmyeong but he's sure Dongju talks to him about everything so there's really no reason to do all of that.
"Yeah," he trails off, running a hand on his face, looking more tired and exhausted than he really is. "It's just so much anxiety mixed with the usual stress that it's just making it harder on me mentally."
"But Dongju told me it seemed that things went well between you two?" Dongmyeong tilts his head and gives him puppy eyes, showing confusion. "Did it not?"
"It did but-" Hwanwoong wonders if he should ask his opinion on it since this has been eating at him for a month now. He decides to just stop being such a worried mess and tell someone other than Keonhee about it, Dongmyeong has been his friend for long enough as well - and he's a good advice giver. "I suggested not doing anything about it until we were done promoting our new song so we didn't risk being exposed."
"And now you're stressed because you didn't do anything about it?" Dongmyeong looks like he wants to laugh at Hwanwoong's face, hearing the situation out loud makes it sound ridiculous. "Well, at least you're almost done."
"Was that a stupid thing to do?"
"That's for you to decide," Dongmyeong replies, an apologetic smile on his lips. "Personally, I don't think it's stupid, maybe you just needed some time to process what's going on."
Dongmyeong shrugs and gives his leg a small pat before standing up.
"It'll all be fine," Dongmyeong says with a smile. "I think you should actually start worrying about what to do now that you two will have to do something about it."
Hwanwoong mumbles a thanks and Dongmyeong winks at him, laughing to himself before plopping down on Dongju's bed.
Hwanwoong goes back to separating songs out of his playlist for future content but can't stop thinking about Dongmyeon's words.
It's been a considerably not-busy morning as they've wrapped up promotions the previous day and were at the company only for some - rather loose and vague - discussions about their next comeback. No actual work and moving around the building for practice happening at last. Besides, their team is currently short on one member meaning that not much can be done or decided, they refuse to do so.
As expected, Geonhak has come down with a cold - it's his body's way of telling he worked hard and needs rest, it happens after each promotion period - and everyone is taking it easy now in hopes of maintaining good health. The only decision made is that they would like the comeback to be at least in four months - the management ended up accepting due to the personal sales record they broke and multiple music show wins.
Hwanwoong is currently sitting at the lounge café and having whatever drink is the cheapest at the moment, enjoying the fact it is, not completely but almost, empty at this time of the morning - although, he is wearing a hoodie and covering his face in order not to be recognized - and wondering what the others are doing right now.
"Hey!" Hwanwoong is brought back from reality by Keonhee's voice. He whips his head in the direction it is coming from and meets Keonhee's eyes. Keonhee is getting his own order by the counter and waves, walking up to sit at the same table, right in front of him. "Do you want to have lunch with me?"
"What are you going to eat?" Hwanwoong asks in interest, thinking about Keonhee's food suggestions going viral all over the internet and wondering if he'll be getting something he had on the mukbang show - he's been following it religiously and hoping he's not going to be asked to guest on it like Geonhak on the earlier episodes, he doesn't want to make more of a fool of himself on the internet. "Are you ordering it?"
Keonhee pursues his lips and fishes for his phone that's peeking out from the shirt's top pocket.
"Not quite sure yet but yes, I don't feel like going to a restaurant today," he replies, sipping his smoothie - at least that's what it looks like -, eyes glued to the screen and Hwanwoong watches as he scrolls down on the delivery app. "We've just finished promotions and I'm thinking of being a little greedy. How hungry are you?"
Hwanwoong thinks about the instant ramyeon he was convinced into having along with Dongju as last night's dinner and his lack of breakfast since he woke up late. His stomach growls and Keonhee laughs softly in amusement, raising an eyebrow.
"I'll take that as 'very hungry'," he jokes and taps on the cell phone screen a few times before he puts it back to its previous place. "It says it'll be delivered to the dorms in about twenty minutes, we should get going."
Keonhee stands up and grabs his drink. Hwanwoong follows suit and both exit the place with their hoodies and masks on.
On a good day, it's a ten minute walk to the dorms but Hwanwoong is still tired so he has a feeling the food will be there before them.
"Don't worry," Keonhee says, voice muffled by the material of the mask. "Seoho hyung said he was getting back to play some games. There'll be someone to receive our food."
Hwanwoong deflates at the mention of Seoho. He thought it was going to be just the two of them. The look in his eyes must give his musings away because Keonhee laughs and shakes his head.
"We can always just grab the food and go up to the rooftop to eat in peace," Keonhee suggests and Hwanwoong raises his eyebrows, takes a deep breath and pictures that in his head. It sounds like a good idea but it's a windy and very gray day, it wouldn't be very smart. "But I'm pretty sure hyung is not gonna leave the room even knowing we got food. You know how focused he gets when he's playing his games."
Hwanwoong agrees and they go their way, following the familiar route and making it in front of the place at the same time as the delivery person.
From there, everything happens naturally, the way it always does. They spread the containers on the dining table in the kitchen, open all of them and eat while chatting. Seoho does come out of the room to get a glass of water at some point but all he does is grab himself a bowl before leaving again.
After most of the food is eaten, they clean it up together. Hwanwoong is throwing away what's empty when a thought crosses his mind.
"Have you managed to collect all the photocards for our last comeback?" he asks and Keonhee finishes putting the food in the fridge before turning to look at Hwanwoong.
"I have all of them so far," Hwanwoong notices the way Keonhee's face reddens. "I got a whole new binder just for it."
Hwanwoong doesn't keep track of how many of those are released so he has no idea regarding quantity. He's just asked to take selcas and send them to their manager, the way they deal with those is not something he goes after. That's the sole reason he asks. "Was it that many?" with surprise in his eyes but, oh well, he does remember going through what felt like an endless amount of fancalls.
"There are still more being released," Keonhee huffs and looks like he wants to scream. "If you don't remember the discussion we had this morning with the management, the fancalls will keep on going for like, two more months. I might need to get another binder depending on how many more photocards will be out."
Keonhee raises a hand and motions for Hwanwoong to wait where he is. He runs out of the kitchen and comes back with a red colored binder under his arm and a box in hands.
"I got them all yesterday," Keonhee puts it all down on top of the table and takes a seat. Hwanwoong observes in interest. "I didn't sort them yet. Do you, perhaps, want to help me?"
Hwanwoong nods, wondering what's the criteria Keonhee uses for it.
Keonhee opens the box and Hwanwoong widens his eyes, nearly choking when he sees the amount of photocards piling up.
"I'll sort it out by release date," Keonhee says, taking a packet from inside the binder and pushing it towards Hwanwoong. "I'll also sleeve the photocards and you can put them in the pockets in the order I hand them to you."
Hwanwoong nods, not understanding much of Keonhee's vocabulary but getting exactly what his task is.
It's weird seeing his own face in all of these photocards at first but Hwanwoong gets used quickly. The work is therapeutic and Keonhee looks extremely excited as he sorts the photocards while looking at a picture on his phone - he calls it a template - and turning them around to take a proper look before putting the piece of paper on a sleeve.
He's not sure how long it takes them but Hwanwoong is enjoying himself and listening as Keonhee talks about whatever is on his mind. His opinion is probably 100% biased but listening to Keonhee's voice is soothing, a little like music if he can be honest - and extremely cheesy.
"You should nap," Keonhee says and Hwanwoong blinks a few times before focusing his attention on him. "You look tired."
Hwanwoong's face must look funny right now because Keonhee breaks into a smile before bringing a hand to cover his mouth and laughing.
"You just looked at me as though I caught you doing something wrong," Hwanwoong gets flustered at the explanation and Keonhee laughs some more. "It's okay, you can stare at me, I'm not going to make fun of you."
"I was not staring at you," Hwanwoong protests. "I just happened to be looking at you as I was thinking."
Keonhee shoots him a doubtful glance, pressing his lips together and raising an eyebrow. "Sure."
"You don't believe me?" Hwanwoong throws back at Keonhee with a smile, delighted to engage in silly discussions with him.
"If you were not staring at me, what were you doing then?" Keonhee challenges, closing the binder that they've finished organizing a few moments ago and crossing his arms.
Hwanwoong grimaces for a second before making a face and looking away.
"I was just thinking about how pleasant your voice is," he trails off and peeks at Keonhee from the corner of his eye, wondering if he's blushing. "I'm not lying."
Keonhee stares at Hwanwoong, squints at him and nods once.
"Fine, I believe you," Keonhee admits defeat and throws his arms up. "Anyway, thanks for the help and for joining me for lunch. I'd say it was a successful date, don't you think?"
The word 'date' catches Hwanwoong's attention and he tilts his head to show his confusion.
"You didn't mention anything about this being a date," Hwanwoong points out when the silence stretches out for a little longer than necessary, especially since Keonhee said something so harmless.
Keonhee snorts.
"I asked you out for lunch, I paid for the food. In my book, I don't need to make a big deal out of it and announce to everyone to be able to call it a date," Keonhee rolls his eyes and stuns Hwanwoong by flicking him on the forehead. "Since we already acknowledged we have feelings for each other and kind of talked it out. Or were you planning to come at me and ask what are we? Next thing you'll be asking me if we're dating after going on a hundred dates. Don't be old-fashioned," Keonhee laughs. "And I'll be your boyfriend, you don't have to ask me."
Keonhee keeps on talking as if this whole thing is nothing while Hwanwoong listens and realization hits him. He groans, rubbing his temple and feeling utterly dumb. Assuming a date entailed going out and doing what is considered couple things was the only thing Hwanwoong thought about and that's where he was wrong. He was being too conventional and, in their situation as idols, dating like normal people is not something easy. He knows that and that's why it gets him even more upset with himself. They're from the same group, for God's sake, Hwanwoong could've just thought a little more outside the box and planned other things they could do without being exposed to the public. It means he suffered for no reason because Keonhee and him could've done simple activities together and called it a date. They could've just eaten takeout or watched a movie together.
"Woong?" Keonhee calls and Hwanwoong shakes his head at himself, shooing those thoughts away. "You should get some rest, you really do look tired."
"Do you want to watch a movie with me?" Hwanwoong asks, ignoring what Keonhee just said. He regrets his decisions regarding their situation but it's too late to do anything but try to make the most out of what they have in hand right now.
"Which movie?" Keonhee questions, standing up from where he is and grabbing his binder, the box that had the photocards long gone to the recycling bin.
"No idea," Hwanwoong shrugs and stands up as well. "I just want to spend time with you."
Keonhee stops on his tracks and stares at Hwanwoong.
"Gross."
Before Hwanwoong can protest and say something back, Keonhee shakes the binder in front of him.
"I'll just put this away and we can choose together," Keonhee smiles, his teeth showing and the corners of his mouth go up. The only thing Hwanwoong manages to do is nod, always taken aback at the way Keonhee's beauty still stuns him.
Instead of going to his room to turn his laptop on, Hwanwoong remains frozen in place. Keonhee comes back and has to shake him out of his stupor.
"Ready?" he asks and Hwanwoong nods, letting Keonhee drag him to his own bedroom. He's glad Dongju is somewhere else, he's not going to see Hwanwoong look like a complete fool because of Keonhee.
What Dongju does see when he makes it back to the dorms is Keonhee and Hwanwoong huddled up with a blanket around them on Hwanwoong's bed, laptop dangerously placed on the nightstand as the two of them are deep asleep.
Dongju snaps a few pictures and safely keeps them in a place only he has access to. He goes to his side of the bedroom and turns his laptop on.
If there is one thing Hwanwoong was right about Dongju is that he writes fanfiction about Keonhee and him and that's exactly what he's going to do right now.