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Senior year, Anne and Sasha hardly spoken to one another.
It wasn't like they were avoiding each other. Anne had her new friends, Sasha had hers. They still waved at each other in the halls, they still texted from time to time, and every now and then they made plans to hang out over the weekend. But their plans stopped being a Just Them, and started being a Them and A Few Other Friends I Want to Drag Along, thing.
Anne wasn't upset about it.
She wasn't.
It was her choice to reach out to other people. Sure, she didn't expect Sasha to not make any friends, new school year, new them, and all of that. But she was just a little too used to it being her and Sasha. Seeing Sasha need more people than Anne hurt for a little bit, and she knew it was selfish, so, she got over it.
It was almost the end of the school year. Anne was walking home, nestled up in a green sweater Marcy gave her during one of her visits to LA, an earbud in one ear, listening to music and getting lost in thought, when she heard a familiar voice shout her name.
"Anne!"
Anne halted and looked back.
Sasha was waving one hand, running towards her. In that moment, Anne caught herself admiring Sasha. Her newly short-cut hair, her black jacket, her boots, her. Everything about her Anne thought was beautiful. Again. She was thinking that way again. In her imagination, she was shaking herself by the shoulders. Why was she still thinking about Sasha in that way, after all of these years?
When Sasha finally reached her, she stood still for a moment, trying to catch her breath. She wheezed out, "hi, mind if I walk you home?"
Anne's heart skipped a beat. "Um. I don't mind."
"Rad."
They walked to Anne's in silence.
When Anne entered her home, she said, "mom! Dad! Sasha's with me! Just giving you a heads up!"
She didn't hear a response, meaning they weren't home yet.
"Let's go to my room," Anne said. Sasha blushed, and Anne looked away, already heading towards the stairs. She would refuse to read too much into it.
"Woah," Sasha breathed out once she entered Anne's room. "Someone certainly changed over the last few months."
Anne shrugged, feeling embarrassed. "It's nothing."
Sasha was looking at the lesbian pride flag over Anne's wall. Anne tried not to feel antsy. She knew Sasha wasn't homophobic, Sasha herself was bisexual, so it shouldn't feel like a big deal, coming out to her former best friend, and her current crush.
Crush. She hated that word. Crush.
She had a crush on Sasha when she was thirteen, in middle school. So why did she still feel that way now? It's been a couple of years, surely her feelings should have faded by now, but they haven't.
Sasha looked away from the flag and back at Anne, smiling. "Want to watch a movie?"
Anne got her laptop out, and the two climbed into Anne's bed, while Anne mindlessly scrolled through different movies to watch, none of them really catching her eye.
She was trying not to focus on how close Sasha was, and how warm she felt. She could smell Sasha's shampoo, she could feel Sasha's hand, awkwardly so close to hers, and she wanted. Oh, did she want. She wanted for years.
"Does this one look good?" Anne said, turning, and once she did, she found herself merely inches away from Sasha, her lips so, tauntingly close.
Sasha didn't move.
Anne decided she wouldn't either.
Neither spoke. Anne could only hear the pound of her heart. She wondered if Sasha was feeling this way too. Nervous, excited.
"Anne," Sasha said, her voice so quiet, cracking ever so slightly.
Anne took it for what it was. Sasha was nervous. Sasha, who was always good at keeping her composure, was nervous.
And it was always Anne, who pulled away first. Anne, who made new friends first. Anne, who would leave Sasha on read, or Anne who would cancel plans, Anne, who would push her feelings down, trying her best to bottle them up, not to feel them anymore.
In the end, it was Anne who leaned closer.
Kissing Sasha felt like coming home to Earth.
Kissing Sasha felt right, like it always should have been the two of them, and even with new friends, it always would be.
Sasha kissed Anne back, her hands reaching to gently cup Anne's cheeks.
Sasha pulled back, her face flushed.
"I've wanted to do that for a while," Anne said, breathless.
At that, Sasha kissed her again.