Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Ah… Are we personal friends, now that we’ve jogged around to your liking?” He couldn’t stop himself from lifting a dainty white gloved to his lips, pulled into a wide grin. “I was wondering why you weren’t responding to my gifts. This must be the way you learn how to love people.”

Arlo simply rubbed the back of his neck, an embarrassed flush creeping along his cheeks.

“I-I appreciate all the times you’ve brought me lunch on patrol, don’t get me wrong. But I never know what to say when people do something nice for me like that. Which… I guess, makes it funny that I’m heading the Civil Corps,” he said, smiling weakly. Hayvenhurst was beginning to notice that Arlo, too, struggled with eye contact sometimes.

“You can dish it out, but you can’t take it, eh?” Hayvenhurst’s delight only grew by the second. “No, I think that makes sense… Ah, I can’t exactly torment you all day, here. What’s on your mind, dear Arlo?”

Pet names like that always caught Arlo off guard, especially when delivered with that charming tilted-head smile Hayvenhurst always seems to have on his face when he’s decided something is ‘cute’, much like a collector has decided that what he’s pinned to a canvas is a ‘butterfly’. He’d been called things like that his whole life, but… By his grandmother as a child, by Martha who has sort of decided she is now his grandmother, by people who saw him as family.

Arlo didn’t have a clue exactly what went through Hayvenhurst’s muddy head whenever that man looked at him. But somehow he got the feeling that it was probably decidedly unbrotherly, whatever it was. It made him feel nervous every once in a while, but most of the time he just ignored the new Builder’s erratic behavior.

“Well, uh… Heheh. You might think this sounds awfully silly. I kind of do too, hearing it in my own head,” Arlo said, trying not to stall for much longer. “But… It’s about Nora.”

Hayvenhurst’s eyebrows raised a bit, his gaze relaxing. Nora the good little church girl who does everything she’s told? So good that not even Hayvenhurst would dream of trying to taint that, not for all the fun and pleasure in the world. If his own conscience didn’t stop him, Lee most certainly would.

She wouldn’t be able to take it. It would be cruel to show her what life really is like outside of the church’s influence, she would feel more lost than ever. Poor little lamb.

Nonetheless, he smiled and nodded, offering an inquisitive “Mmhm?”

“A few days ago, she… Well - for a bit of background here, Nora and I have been spending a lot of time together. Going on dates whenever we’ve got the time,” said Arlo.

A brief frown was visible on Hayvenhurst’s face, so brief that not even Hayvenhurst himself recognized the look on his own face before it was gone.

“I see. I hadn’t realized. You’ve been carrying on very professionally,” he said, finding his own smile again.

“Yeah. Well,” Arlo chuckled a bit to himself, “I, uh… I guess I’m not sure where to go from here, though, because a few days ago, she confessed her feelings to me.”

Hayvenhurst looked confused.

“She confessed her feelings to you on a date and this… Surprised you?” He tilted his head to one side, and then the other again, like a dog. Trying to hear a bit better.

“It didn’t exactly surprise me, though I appreciate the cutting banter about what an idiot I am.” Arlo and Hayvenhurst exchanged snickers under their breaths. “But I will say, it’s gotten me to think a bit about my priorities… Where I’m headed in life, you know?”

Arlo leaned back against the bench he invited the Builder to share with him, looking up into the empty winter sky. “I’m trying to get into the Flying Pigs, yeah? But what happens if I get deployed somewhere and I’m in some relationship with Nora? That doesn’t exactly feel fair to her.”

“Do you want a relationship with Nora?” Hayvenhurst asked, brows furrowing a bit. He couldn’t tell if Arlo referred to this hypothetical relationship as a goal or an imagined obligation.

And… Admittedly neither could Arlo.

“… It’s. Certainly complicated. I have to say, until now, I’ve seen her as more of a little sister.”

“A little sister you go on dates with. I hadn’t realized you were so confused,” Hayvenhurst teased. Arlo simply rolled his eyes, loudly exhaling through his nose with the rhythm of laughter. The Builder had a messed up sense of humor, but Arlo knew he meant well.

“It’s not exactly like I’m not attracted to her, either. Smartaleck. But… I know I appreciate what we already have. Truth be told, I’m a bit nervous I’ll mess the whole thing up somehow. So bad she doesn’t even want to be friends anymore, once it’s over.”

This was another fun new fact Hayvenhurst was learning about Arlo - he can be a bit of a pessimist when it comes to his own social life. He talks the talk when it comes to rallying his Civil Corps, and he knows how to reassure Portia’s citizens that everything’s alright, but beyond that… Hayvenhurst decided he would remember this. Maybe Arlo spent so much time and energy learning how to be a public servant, that he never learned to serve himself now and again.

A warmer, more genuine smile dawned on Hayvenhurst’s face.

“But… You’re still curious, is what I’m hearing,” he said, “You definitely sound like you aren’t resolved on the matter just yet.”

Arlo sighed softly, unable to meet the Builder’s gaze.

“Well… Yeah. That’s exactly it,” he grumbled, “Because - it’s not exactly like Nora is a bad girl to settle down with. I figure I should be thinking about that sort of thing too, along with my dreams.”

Hayvenhurst lifted his hand to his lips and snickered.

“You say that like you’re an old maid!” He giggled, leaning a bit closer to Arlo on the bench with an indescribable look in his gently narrowed eyes. “Are you afraid no one will marry you when you start to wilt and sprout grey petals, handsome little flower?” He shot a mischievous glance up at Arlo’s wild red hair, pretending he spotted a few telltale hairs. “Oh dear, you may have less time than you think.”

“What?!” Arlo immediately felt at his own hair, the dread plain to see on his face. It took him a second or two longer to realize Hayvenhurst was just kidding than he would have liked to admit, and when he realized it, he started to pout. Pout! What a dear soul. Even cuter was the fact that the pout was obviously there to fight off a smile. “Y-you jerk, you’re just trying to get a rise out of me.”

“But you did smile,” Hayvenhurst said with a little hum as he gently scratched under Arlo’s beard, “So now I’m satisfied. No, in all seriousness… If this is how you feel, then I guess I’m curious. Do you love the girl?”

Arlo had to admit he was a bit stumped, there.

“I guess I wouldn’t be positive about what that feels like.”

“Really?” Hayvenhurst sat all the way back up, giving Arlo some room to breathe. “Well, you simply don’t love her if that’s the case.”

“How can you be so sure, Builder?” Arlo’s brow quirked, he was undeniably curious about that certainty.

“Because when you’re in love, you know. You always know!” He smiled. A genuine, almost sleepy smile that squinted his eyes. “It’s like suddenly drowning. You’re thrashing and you can’t breathe, and you realize you would do anything just to reach the surface of the water…” He added, almost shyly, “You have to, or your lungs will burst. And then you will die a slow, miserable death, and no one will be able to find you. Not all the way down here… That’s what love is like. It’s like when someone finds you at the bottom of a lake, yes.”

Arlo followed Hayvenhurst’s gaze, and assumed there was nothing to it. There, across the square, Higgins had come out of his sad little workshop and started to gather the newly cooled bronze bars that had been smelting this morning.

“… I don’t exactly follow, friend.” He forced a smile, but he had to admit even if just to himself that sometimes, Hayvenhurst creeped him out with these ramblings.

“Oh,” said Hayvenhurst, lowering his head for a moment with a bashful exhale through his nose. “I see, I must have gotten carried away again… Um… To someone like you, it must feel like… Meeting your best friend in the world. Yes, that’s it - you meet this girl, and everything seems to click perfectly. Like puzzle pieces, in a pile of pieces that just won’t stick together. Is that how you feel when you talk with Nora?”

… Arlo quietly realized that he wasn’t sure he even had a best friend. Sure, there were Sam and Remington, but… He had never felt something so vividly real for anyone else before. The only thing in his life that made him feel half as excited as that was the prospect of joining the Flying Pigs, and even that was already starting to lose its luster. He had been rejected three times already. Maybe dreams aren’t meant to be chased, because they by nature aren’t real.

“Well… Do you feel like that when you talk to anyone?” He asked Hayvenhurst, a bit ashamed of himself for reasons he couldn’t place. “Let’s see, who’s your best friend… Emily! I see you and her talking all the time. Is that how you feel about her?”

“Silly Arlo. Emily is someone’s granddaughter, and I can’t do something like that to her.”

“Do what? Just - really want to go steady with on her?”

Hayvenhurst closed his eyes and smiled, wearily.

“A heart is such a heavy burden to put in someone’s hands. I’m lucky my feelings for her are purely platonic, you know~ It isn’t that easy with everyone here.”

Arlo imagined Hayvenhurst the Builder being attracted to someone in town. Physically. Someone he’s known for most of his life. And he promptly stopped, because it felt a bit like watching a wolf creep into his flock.

Hayvenhurst was dependable and kind. He was a good man to everyone in town. But Sam and Remington agreed with Arlo on something: there’s a kind of darkness in his eyes. Something like hunger at the very edges of his being, and maybe he isn’t even aware of it because after all this time, the hunger has just felt like part of his body.

… He wasn’t worried about Hayvenhurst hurting anyone. But he felt a massive gap between him and whoever Hayvenhurst truly was on the inside, and that unsettled him.

“So it sounds like we’re both a little lost when it comes to love,” Arlo said, offering a kind grin.

“Mm. Quite. You know, I’ve just had a splendid idea - maybe you and I should marry!” Hayvenhurst clasped his hands together against his cheek, tilting his head again. “It would certainly solve all of these problems we’re facing.”

Arlo blinked, unamused.

“Thaaaat’s not going to happen, Builder. It’s nothing personal, I guess I just. Don’t swing that way.”

(Arlo wasn’t really sure about the words coming out of his own mouth.)

“E-ehhh?! You can certainly be direct with me, if not Nora… But I suppose even that endears me further to you, my athletic friend. Oh, I hope that’s alright. I’ll behave perfectly, you’ll see!”

“… It’s strange. I cant put my finger on why, but all I want after this exchange is to get to know you better. Feels like I’m talking to a stranger sometimes,” Arlo mused, resting his hands behind his head.

“Mm. I’m afraid that might not change anytime, soon. Don’t waste that sort of time on me when you’ve got your little girlfriend.”

“She’s not my… Augh. Don’t change the subject. You already know it’s embarrassing enough saying something like that, especially with another guy.”

Hayvenhurst placed his hand on Arlo’s shoulder with a kind of out-of-the-ordinary gentleness.

“But isn’t it fun?”