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ayaka wasn’t sure how she felt. she’d never been sure of those things though. there she was, stood in front of a packed bar. a friend of hers was waiting inside. there was something she wanted to talk to ayaka about. she had sent a message to ayaka telling her to meet her at the slope of love at 8pm. looking at the time on her phone, ayaka noticed it was 8:04pm. she smiled slightly. she wasn’t the type to show up early just for the sake of it. there was something about the friend that was waiting for her that made her want to keep her waiting. or so she would claim. before going in, she double checked the sign to make sure she was in the right place. she had never actually been there before.
opening the door with ease, she took the first few steps into the bar. she noticed the way the men sat near the door’s eyes locked onto her. a form of attention she couldn’t get enough of. she had no interest in men, but she liked the way she could catch their attention and keep it on her. smirking at the empty space in front of her, she carried on walking through the bar. with each step she could feel more and more eyes on her.
as she got further into the bar, she realised there were now women staring at her just as much as the men. whether it was because they were intrigued by her, or scowling at her for taking their boyfriends’ attention away, she didn’t care. she noticed her friend at a table in the corner, separate from the chaos of the patrons beginning their likely long night of drinking. “sorry i’m late. i got caught up.” ayaka smiled, placing her bag down on the seat next to her.
“oh to have an extra five minutes with the ever so popular takamoto ayaka.” her friend joked, taking a sip of the cocktail she’d already ordered. ayaka laughed in return, taking her card out of her bag. “maybe if you bought me drinks i would show up on time.” ayaka smiled, making direct eye contact with her friend. she saw the way her friend rolled her eyes which made her smile wider. ayaka wondered how much further she could push the ‘friendly’ flirting before it got to a point where neither of them could step away.
ayaka returned to the table, now with a drink in her hand. “so, kumi, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” she asked, a slight sultry tone to her voice. she couldn’t miss the way kumi slightly flinched as she spoke. it wasn’t her first time talking to her friend like that, and yet she always had the same reaction. at first ayaka thought a lot about what such a reaction could mean, but eventually she decided to just cherish it regardless. “oh… nothing in particular.” kumi replied, feigning being nonchalant. it was ayaka’s turn to roll her eyes. of course there was nothing in particular.
they both sat in silence for a moment, the sound of conversations from all over the bar filling the void. “have you eaten?” ayaka finally uttered, now fiddling with the hem of her skirt. kumi didn’t reply in words, instead simply shaking her head. ayaka hummed at the response. an idea popped into her head. she wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad idea, but there was a voice in the back of her head telling her to just go for it.
“want to come back to mine and have something to eat?”
she was fully aware of all the ways it could be taken. which one she intended for it to be taken as though, she wasn’t sure. back came the unsure feeling. usually flirting with people like that was a piece of cake for her. nothing to bat an eye at. but when it came to kumi, there was always something inside her that wanted to take everything back to save herself from the potential of… rejection? maybe it was just because she wasn’t used to the idea of someone just wanting to be friends with her, or maybe it was because she genuinely cared about not wanting to stay friends with kumi. only ayaka could be the one to answer that question though.
after a minute of trying to collect herself, kumi managed to mumble out a reply. “yeah, i can do that.”. being honest, kumi did have something she wanted to talk to ayaka about. she had wanted to talk to her about it since they became friends. but she held herself back every single time she was about to utter the words. unlike ayaka, she knew exactly how she felt. what she was scared of. she recalled the time she admitted her feelings for ayaka to a mutual friend of theirs.
“i think i like her shiho. what do i even do?”
“what is there you can do? she’s takamoto ayaka. you’re far from the only person that wants her. hell, if i wasn’t straight i would want her.”
“very reassuring, thank you.”
“if you want real advice, the worst that can happen is she’ll say she doesn’t feel the same way. if it will clear your mind to just get it off your chest to her, then any outcome is worth it. a few nights of crying over rejection is better than possibly years of confusion and pining.”
“when did you get so… not stupid? thank you though. seriously. i’ll try.”
“i do have one question though. you like her for the right reasons right?”
“i do. of course i am just as amazed by her beauty as everyone else, but i can really see myself having a future with her. to go too far down the line, from her cooking to her kindness to the cute sides of her that she doesn’t show in public, i can see myself marrying her.”
“well there you go. if you don’t say something then i will. and yes that’s a threat.”
kumi watched as ayaka downed her drink. she placed the glass back down gently, picking up a napkin with the other hand to wipe away the remnants of the drink from her lips. kumi felt her breath hitch as ayaka did so. she felt frozen in place, her eyes lingering on ayaka’s lips. no matter how many times she glanced at them, the urge to lean in only grew stronger. her thoughts turned to static as time slowed around her. it began to feel like her and ayaka were the only people in the room. she wasn’t sure if she was breathing. or even if her heart was beating.
her feelings for ayaka were way past anything she had felt before. the constant flirting and borderline seducing were very clearly the reason behind it. kumi considered herself a levelheaded person, but ayaka threw all of that out of the window. just one mere second of eye contact was enough to make her reconsider everything. to put it simply, she was down bad. as much as she tried to hide it and go along with all of ayaka’s ‘jokes’, her heart would beat wildly the whole time. any second spent with ayaka was a second she felt completely distanced from reality.
finishing her drink (almost) as impressively as ayaka, kumi stood up and put her jacket back on. ayaka followed her lead and did the same. eyes were back on ayaka as the two of them left the bar. somehow the attention wasn’t her main focus. she could sense how close kumi’s hand was to her own. the tension was building up between them as butterflies took over. kumi noticed ayaka picking up her pace beside her, so she sped up too. her thoughts came back in one go, questioning if ayaka was just as eager for something as she was.
once outside, kumi took a fresh box of cigarettes out of her pocket. she took one out and offered it to ayaka who smiled and accepted it. taking out another one for herself, she placed it to her lips as she put the packet away and took out her lighter. “you seem to only smoke when it’s just the two of us.” ayaka noted, taking the lighter out of kumi’s hand once she was done lighting hers. “same goes for you.” kumi mumbled back. really, there were a few reasons behind it. the main reason was to give her a break from the emotions ayaka made her feel, but another was that she found ayaka to be extremely hot holding a lit cigarette by her side.
kumi was about to regret accepting shiho’s offer to meet her ‘other lesbian friend’. it was nearly ten minutes after the agreed meeting time and she still hadn’t shown up. was it even worth it when she knew shiho was just tired of her constant complaints of not having a girlfriend and wanted to set her up with someone? just as kumi was about to tell shiho she was going home, the most beautiful girl kumi had ever seen walked into the restaurant. “that’s her.” shiho smiled, standing up to hug ayaka as she walked over. kumi felt as if her eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. “sorry i’m late. i got caught up.” ayaka explained, taking off her jacket and putting it onto the back of the chair next to shiho.
half way through the meal, kumi announced she needed some fresh air. in reality, she needed time away from ayaka. only twenty minutes after meeting her she was already feeling herself crumble into tiny pieces. grabbing her jacket, she began to walk into the smoking area behind the building. out of nowhere, she felt someone grabbing onto the jacket surrounding her arm. she turned around in surprise, shocked to see ayaka stood behind her with her hand still clutching at kumi’s sleeve. “i’ll come too.” ayaka whispered too close to kumi’s ear. with a nod, kumi carried on walking.
“you smoke?” ayaka questioned as kumi took a half empty pack of cigarettes out of her pocket. “what does it look like?” kumi responded with a slight smile, putting the cigarette to her lips and lighting it. “let me have some.” ayaka smirked, reaching out her hand. kumi went to get the packet pack out to give ayaka a new one, but ayaka shook her head. “your one.”. not thinking much of it, kumi passed it over to ayaka who took a long drag. kumi took the packet back out to get herself a new one, but ayaka shook her head again. after one more drag she passed it back to kumi.
ayaka watched as kumi blushed, head tilting down slightly to face the ground below her. a smile found itself appearing on ayaka’s face. not the usual smile of confidence she usually put on in those situations, but one of genuine happiness. not that she recognised that though, as she decided to mask it with the smile of confidence anyway.
the two of them continued on walking to ayaka’s apartment. the cool air surrounded them as they walked down the various streets. kumi wanted to ask if ayaka was actually planning on making food or if she was insinuating something else, but if it was the latter she didn’t want to ruin the mood by asking such a naive question and if it was the former that would cause major embarrassment. the anticipation of what ayaka actually meant built up more and more as they got closer to her apartment. kumi wondered if she would actually make it that far before she could lose to her emotions and pass out.
looking down, ayaka noticed yet again how close her hand was to kumi’s. she watched as her fingers twitched, urging her hand impossibly closer. somewhat scared by it, she pulled her arm away and placed it into her pocket. her feelings were all of a sudden becoming clear and she wasn’t sure what to do. she didn’t know what kumi wanted. with a sigh, she noticed they were on her street. she put in the passcode for the main door and led kumi up the stairs.
she felt her hand shake slightly as she tried to unlock her door. finally managing to put in the key and turn it, she held the door open for kumi to walk in first. it wasn’t the first time kumi had been to her apartment, but the other times were with shiho. as she turned around from locking the door, she saw kumi looking at her. in that moment she felt herself wanting to run away. she had never been one to be upfront with her emotions.
kumi noticed the hesitation in ayaka’s eyes. thoughts began racing in her head. did she get the wrong idea? had ayaka even expected her to say yes? was ayaka waiting for her to do something? was ayaka doing the same as her and trying to feel out what she wanted? with a rush of bravery and adrenaline, kumi took a step forward. her and ayaka were face to face now. she could feel ayaka’s breath against her.
“um do you actually want food or…?” ayaka whispered, startled by the closeness between the two of them. kumi took a step back at her words. so she had gotten the wrong idea. she smiled slightly, her hands clasping together. “i’m fine with whatever.” she mumbled, looking down at the floor below her. a smile formed on ayaka’s face at kumi’s nervous habit. this time, ayaka was the one to take a step forward. kumi looked up, expression changing immediately as she noticed the look on ayaka’s face.
ayaka reached out her hand to separate kumi’s from each other. without a word, she pulled kumi towards the sofa and sat down. kumi took a seat next to her, still completely unsure of what was actually happening. “i’m going to admit something. i’ve never dated anyone. never even had my first kiss. i don’t know what direction this is going to go in, but i want to make sure you actually like me first i guess.” ayaka rambled, looking everywhere but at kumi.
with a smile, kumi put her free hand on top of ayaka’s. “i do. a lot. actually that’s what i wanted to tell you. i like it when you’re late and make the same nonsense excuse even though we all know that you were busy watching a drama and didn’t notice the time. i like the way you treat everyone with kindness, regardless of their intentions. i like the way you look at me, even if it drives me insane.” kumi explained, smiling at ayaka the whole time. something in ayaka’s mind clicked. she had never been told things like that about herself before.
without an ounce of hesitation, she leant forward and placed her lips against kumi’s. after getting over the initial shock, kumi moved her hand from on top of ayaka’s hand to lightly hold it against her cheek. she felt ayaka’s breath hitch against her, sending what felt like a wave of electricity through her. moving away, kumi opened her eyes to the beautiful sight of ayaka flushed in embarrassment.
the wholesome-ish moment wasn’t exactly what kumi was expecting, but it was more than enough for her. despite not being told how ayaka actually feels about her, it was evident in the kiss. sometimes things are just better told through actions instead of words. content with the kiss, kumi stood up from the sofa and wandered over to the kitchen. after looking through the cupboards she found some things she could cook. “you don’t have to do that. you’re not the best cook.” ayaka laughed, walking up behind kumi.
“if you’re so confident you cook then.” kumi joked back, stepping away from the counter. with a laugh, ayaka took kumi’s place and turned on her stove. once she had everything ready, she felt kumi hug her from behind. “if you’re comfortable with it, i would still like something else too.” she whispered in ayaka’s ear, happy to finally be the one to initiate the flirting. ayaka turned around, putting her arms on either side of kumi and forcing her to lean back against the table behind her. “we’ll see.”.