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"Hyung" Jimin's voice is whiny, prolonging the ‘u’ for too long.
Hoseok doesn't have time to process the calling before Jimin is sitting on his lap, hugging Hoseok and burying his face in his hyung's neck. Jimin's arms close around Hoseok, so tight that Hoseok has a hard time breathing.
"What's wrong, baby?" Hoseok strokes Jimin's back, trying to give him some comfort.
"I fucked up" it's hard to listen to Jimin like this, his voice muffled, but Hoseok knows what it is.
"You did not. You were perfect, Mini."
"I fell like an amateur."
"You just fell, Mini. The floor was full of confetti, it was slippery."
"I'm the only one that fell, though" Jimin moves his head away from Hoseok, being able to look him in the eyes. Jimin's eyes are watering, like he's about to cry but trying hard not to.
It hurts Hoseok's heart. Seeing his dongsaengs so sad about a small mistake never gets easier, worse, after all these years, feels like it's getting harder and harder. They all are perfect, every single one of them. Hoseok wishes they could see themselves the way Hoseok does.
"You're our best dancer, Jimin-ah" Jimin tries to protest, to say that it's Hoseok, but he doesn't let him speak, continuing "One small mistake will never change this. Will never change our fans' love, and never change how proud of you all of us are."
A small, shy smile draws on Jimin's face, but it soon fades and again he hides his face on Hoseok. Silently, Hoseok keeps stroking his back. This is the best way to show Jimin he's here, with him, supporting, and always will be.
The door opens and Hoseok sees Taehyung hesitate on the door. He looks confused between Jimin and Hoseok, not sure if he should come in. Hoseok waves for him, and Taehyung just shakes his head understanding before leaving and closing the door behind him, letting Jimin seek comfort on his hyung.
***
"Jwae-hope!" The most cheerful voice calls his name from the bathroom door.
"Jwan!" Hoseok answers the same cheerful way.
But when he looks at the older, the smile on Seokjin’s face is completely fake. The one he uses whenever they’re on an interview where the interviewer didn’t even bother to research even a little. Hoseok frowns. Seokjin is home, they all are together in their shared apartment, it’s their day off, they should be happy.
“What happened, hyung?” he sounds sad, worried. He just wants his hyung to be fine.
“Nothing, I’m fine” the same fake smile adorns Seokjin’s face. It’s sad how it’s so familiar, seeing Seokjin faking his smile.
Hoseok wants to call him out on his bullshit, but that would probably make things worse. He just looks at Seokjin, trying to say with his eyes hey, I'm here with you, I want to help.
They stay silent for some seconds until Seokjin finally says "I was going to ask you to have a drink with me, but I guess you already have plans, right?"
The bathroom is filled with Hoseok's products, he's well-dressed and obviously preparing to go out. But Seokjin's smile is broken, and he needs him. Right now, Hoseok knows Seokjin needs a little hope. His date will understand.
"Not if you're needing me" Hoseok says with a small smile.
"I really don't wanna disturb your date, Hob-ah. Don't worry about me."
"He will understand, hyung" Hoseok shrugs. "In fact, if I tell him I ditched a sad Seokjin to go to the bar, he'll be mad at me. You know he will."
"But I don't want to-"
"We love you, hyung" Hoseok gives him a sad smile. "Let me take care of you."
Seokjin lowers his head, not looking at Hoseok for a long minute. When he raises it again, the fake smile is gone, his eyes look wet.
"Thank you, Jwae-hope" once the words are said, tears start streaming down Seokjin's face.
Without thinking twice, Hoseok hugs Seokjin, letting his hyung hide inside his arms. Seokjin never cries in front of them. Whatever is happening, is hurting him like hell.
Hoseok planned this date for weeks, he was excited, but he can't go knowing that Seokjin is this sad. He wouldn't be able to focus on the date anyway, the entire time thinking about how lonely his hyung must be feeling right now. Hoseok knows he made the right choice, choosing to take care of Seokjin. Taehyung will understand.
***
“I brought you hot milk” Hoseok says while he puts a cup in the shape of a cat on Yoongi's desk.
“I’m not a kid, Hob-ah” Yoongi doesn’t even look at Hoseok. “Also, I asked you to bring me coffee.”
“You did, but you’ve been inside the studio for third-one hours now. Did you even sleep?”
“Of course I did.”
“For how long?”
“Not the point.”
“Hyung” Hoseok sighs and sits on Yoongi’s desk. It’s something Yoongi hates with all his heart, Hoseok knows damn well, but right now all he wants is to get some reaction from his hyung. “You need to go home. Take a shower. Eat. Sleep.”
“Hob-ah” Yoongi finally looks at Hoseok. He’s tired, clearly, but his voice is soft. “We talked about it, remember? About how we’re all old enough to make and own bad decisions?”
“I know, but the thing is, hyung” Hoseok holds Yoongi’s hand, not letting him continue clicking the mouse button. “I love you and care about you. So I need you to take care of yourself, just a little.”
“Hoseok-”
“Remember how we said that knowing how to pace yourself is part of being professional?”
It’s Yoongi’s time to sigh. He knows Hoseok is right, and Hoseok can’t help but open a victory smile when Yoongi closes the mixing program on his computer and proceeds to turn it off. He then looks at Hoseok, initially serious, but then opens a sweet smile, the one the fans say he does just for BTS. The one that makes him look like a sweet cat.
“You are the worst, you know that?” Yoongi gets up and holds Hoseok’s hand, giving up and leaving the studio together. “But I won’t drink your milk.”
“Kinky, hyung” Hoseok wags his eyebrows suggestively.
“Oh, don’t be like that” Yoongi rolls his eyes. “I’m only your friend because your boyfriend is my boyfriend’s soulmate.”
“So, Jimin said that me and you are soulmates too, and that's why we date him and Taehyung. Soulmates dating soulmates or some shit like that.”
"Bullshit."
They laugh together while going home holding hands. Hoseok feels like his job was well done.
***
The door opens and closes loudly, banging hard. Hoseok is buried on Taehyung's chest, eyes on the television, but he jumps the moment the loud noise echoes in the house.
"What the fuck?" Taehyung tightens his grip around Hoseok, as if protecting him. "What was that?"
"Jungkook?" Hoseok asks as the youngest walks across the living room, not even looking at the couple on the couch.
It's odd. Jungkook is never rude with them, and not saying hi when he comes home is something none of them do. But then Jungkook disappears on the corridor and soon another loud bang echoes.
"What the fuck" it's Hoseok's turn to say, looking at Taehyung with big eyes.
"You should go after him" Taehyung says while loosening his grip.
"But our movie night-"
"I know. But something happened to him, hyung. Just… go there. Help him."
Even though he's a little uncertain, Hoseok agrees and gets up, going after Jungkook. He knocks the maknae's door three times before opening. The room is dark, all the curtains closed and the lights are off. Hoseok needs a second to adapt to the darkness. He can see a blanket ball on the bed, probably where Jungkook is hiding. Hoseok takes a deep breath before walking to him and sitting on the mattress.
"Hey, Kookie" Hoseok touches the blankets carefully, trying to be as soft as he can. "What happened, baby?"
There's no response except for a small whimper. Is he crying? What on earth could make the sweetest maknae to hide and cry like that?
"I'm laying down with you, is that ok?" Hoseok waits for any denying, but still all he can hear are the small whimpers. "Ok, coming in now."
It's not an easy task, but once Hoseok gets under the blanket, he feels Jungkook instantly hugging him, desperately and tight. It's hard for Hoseok to breathe, with Jungkook all over him, but once he feels the youngest's tears wetting his shirt, Hoseok decides he won't complain about the weight.
"It's gonna be ok" Hoseok says softly, not sure if Jungkook can listen, but he knows it makes no difference. All Jungkook needs is someone holding him, being there for him, and Hoseok will always happily be this person.
Hoseok thinks about messaging Taehyung, telling his boyfriend we won't be able to finish the movie, but for now Taehyung already knows this. It's time to take care of Jungkook.
***
Namjoon looks like he can pass out any time now. Which… is unfortunately common. So Hoseok takes a deep breath and puts on his best smile before approaching Namjoon.
"Hey there, boss."
"Don't" Namjoon doesn't even look at Hoseok.
"What is taking your peace away?" Hoseok looks over Namjoon's shoulders, at his laptop screen, seeing a huge document with too many tiny letters.
"Contracts. As always. I've been reading for three hours now and there's still two documents left."
Because Namjoon never let BTS go through a contract without reading the entire thing beforehand. Never. If there's just one slight term that he does not agree with, he makes sure to say it to everyone, to discuss the details. Namjoon is just this perfect leader.
"Alright" Hoseok says before taking his iPad and sitting by Namjoon. "Send the other two to me and I'll read it. We can finish faster that way."
"You don't have to, Hob-ah" Namjoon tries to deny, but right now he looks so tired that Hoseok knows he can really use the help.
"Let's just make it quick, shall we?" Hoseok smiles, and when Namjoon sends the files, it's like a weight has left his shoulder.
While Hoseok starts to read and highlight everything that they may change, Namjoon closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, maybe for the first time in hours. This is one of the worst parts of being the leader, Hoseok knows. He's glad he can help Namjoon from time to time.
***
Taehyung looks cozy when he opens the door. His hair is all fluffy and his clothes are huge on his body. Initially he frowns, confused because it's 4 AM, but then his eyes focus on Hoseok's face and he smiles. Sweet, boyish.
"Hi, baby" his deep voice is a little raspy. "Didn't know you were coming."
"Sorry" Hoseok is a little sorry for coming unannounced, in the middle of the night. "I was… I wanted to see you."
"Come in" Taehyung holds Hoseok's hand and pulls him inside the house.
It's a familiar place, somewhere Hoseok has been a lot. Even though they decided to not live together, Hoseok has been in Taehyung's house a lot, to a point where it has become a safe place whenever Hoseok is feeling down.
Like right now.
"What do you want to do?" Taehyung is still holding Hoseok's hand, still looking sleepy.
"Nothing, just" Hoseok holds his hand tighter, bringing Taehyung to him. Their bodies find each other, and soon enough, Hoseok is hiding inside his boyfriend's arms. "Just wanna be with you. Just want you."
"I'm here" a soft kiss on Hoseok's head makes him want to cry. How can Taehyung always be so sweet? "Want to lay down a little? My bed is so comfortable and warm, I bet you'll love it."
Hoseok giggles while he lets Taehyung guide him through the path he could make with his eyes closed. The entire bedroom feels warm, even while Taehyung starts to take Hoseok's clothes off, with absolutely no sexual intention, just wanting to let Hoseok more comfortable. He gives him an oversized shirt, and once Hoseok is comfortably dressed, they lay down together, cuddling.
"Did something happen, hyung?"
"No" Hoseok answers, voice muffled by how hard he is trying to hide himself in Taehyung. "'M just tired. Missed you."
It’s not that they haven’t seen each other for a long time, they work together, after all. But there’s been weeks since the last day they were just like this, cuddling together, not worrying about their real life problems. Being boyfriends.
Because being boyfriends isn't easier just because they work together and can see and be with each other all the time. Sometimes it just makes everything worse. Hoseok knows it's some hardships Yoongi and Jimin also feels. It's this constant need to be on their tiptoes, watching every step, every word, every touch. Never letting too much be shown, but not letting it look like they are actively avoiding each other. It's just. It's hard.
"We've been having hard days" Taehyung caresses Hoseok's back, reassuring. "All of us."
"Yes, and I-" Hoseok takes a deep breath, knowing what he's about to say may sound rude, but he trusts Taehyung to understand. Taehyung always does. "I've been taking care of everyone and I'm tired of it."
"Yes?"
"I mean, not tired of everyone, just… it's hard, sometimes. I want to be with you, but I need to help Namjoon. I want to rest but I need to make sure Yoongi is resting. And I know it's not my job to take care of five grown-ups, but…"
"But you can't help it" there's a sad humor in Taehyung's voice. "You are our hope, after all."
"I don't want to be the hope all the time. Sometimes I just want to be Jung Hoseok."
"My boyfriend."
"Your boyfriend" with a light giggle, Hoseok finds Taehyung's face in the dark and closes their lips together.
It's been about five years since the first time Hoseok kissed Taehyung's lips. He remembers all too well how their first kiss was, how people would probably say there was nothing special about it. Because maybe it wasn't that romantic or beautiful. It was just them leaving on show together, not the last of a tour, nothing big. Just another show where they went to the hotel in the same car. Where Hoseok rested his head on Taehyung's shoulder. Where they held hands the entire way until Hoseok felt Taehyung using his other hand to move Hoseok's head, so he could touch his lips in a quick, chaste kiss.
The first of so many.
"Tae-yah?" Hoseok calls, barely a whisper. They've been quiet for a long time now, just holding each other in the dark, and Hoseok isn't sure if Taehyung is still awake.
"Yes?" The answer is as low. Maybe Taehyung was almost sleeping, and Hoseok once again woke him.
But Hoseok needs to say it. Needs to tell Taehyung how much this right now, this simple moment, means so much to him. Because Hoseok knows the entire group trusts him, trust Hoseok to be there for them whenever they need, for whatever they need. He knows they call him the second leader, the one who's always by Namjoon's side, helping to ease the burden. Hoseok is someone that they all rely on, emotionally, with choreos, lyrics, whatever.
Hoseok likes to be this person, he likes to feel he has value inside a group with so many talented people.
But he also needs to feel comfort somewhere. Someone.
So, when he brings Taehyung closer, so close that he's laying over Taehyung, and that's it. That is his comfort. Everything Hoseok means to the group, Taehyung means to him. When Hoseok's mind is too loud, Taehyung helps him to calm down. When the world is a deep sea, Taehyung is the fresh air that keeps Hoseok from drowning. People say Hoseok is like the sun, but the truth is that Hoseok is the moon, only able to shine because Taehyung is always behind him.
Hoseok thought that Taehyung's house was his safe place, but the truth is that it's Taehyung. Wherever Taehyung is, that's Hoseok's home.
"I love you" is the only way Hoseok is able to summarize everything he's feeling. The truth that makes his heart bleed.
"I love you more" Taehyung answers and kisses Hoseok.
It's impossible, honestly, but Hoseok doesn't care. His mind is finally at ease. All he needs is a little bit of Taehyung.