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Dawn never believed in destiny. People say that everything happens for a reason, but the truth was that no one had any power over the strings of life. When the war began, she didn’t think her parents’ murder was because “it was their fate”, they both died because they were where they stood at a really bad time. She was still a child when everything happened and truth be told, her memory was a bit hazy, she couldn’t even remember her parent’s faces. The only thing she remembered was the soft smile of her mother and a necklace they apparently gave to her, which had the letters “AJ” engraved on it. AJ… What could it stand for? Her name? Her parents’? She won’t ever know. For days, she wandered endlessly across the streets, waiting for a sign, for someone to notice her and save her. She walked on many corpses, buried under houses, thrown away like trash or decaying over time. Reality never sank in. She had nowhere to go, and she had no future whatsoever but a voice inside her head told her to keep going no matter what. One day, as she was eating bread in the corner of a street, the sun she used to look at was blurred by the shadow of a tall teenager. His hair perfectly capped and his attire polished, he reached out to the small girl. That was the first time in months that she felt a sliver of hope in these dire times.
***
Coming out of the hospital, hands in her pockets, the 17-year-old woman sighed deeply. Another day, another casualty. Not that it was her fault but still, WISE should really think about who to partner her with and trust her a little more. Arresting smuggling dimwits wasn’t that hard except when you’re followed by a hotheaded “spy” who knows nothing about the very definition of what being a spy means. How did that guy end up being recruited within the organization’s ranks, that’s a mystery she’ll never solve.
Ten years had passed since the loss of her parents and her identity. She never felt like she really lost anything since she doesn’t remember much, and she was being cared by many people now anyway so… Again, she sighed. Sometimes she wondered how her life would’ve turned out to be if WISE’s greatest agent hadn’t come to save her that day. Would she still be alive? She sighed again. No use thinking about this. She headed towards her employer’s headquarters but stopped when she saw a very familiar figure coming out of a grocery store nearby. He was holding in his arms three bags containing various things but the first thing she saw was *lots* of peanuts packets. Everybody at WISE was ecstatic over Twilight’s new mission which consisted in building a fake family so that he could stop Donovan Desmond’s machinations and possibly avoid an all-out war between Ostania and Westalis. Building a fake family was one thing but where was the line between real and fake? There had been rumors going on within WISE’s walls, rumors that said that maybe Twilight had taken a liking to his new situation.
“Oi, Twilight”, the brunette called.
The man kept on walking straight without noticing her. He *didn’t* even notice her? Knowing how sharp his senses were? What the hell, Twilight?! She called him again, louder this time. He stopped in his tracks, dejected.
“Whaaaat?” was the only thing he said, annoyance brimming in his tone.
“You don’t even say hello now, do you?”, Dawn joined him and looked at him in the eyes. He looked tired. “Oh. You went on a shopping trip for you ‘daughter’?”, she asked even though she didn’t need any answer.
Twilight followed where she was gazing at and coughed.
“You know how kids are. It’s so tiring.”
The truth was, she had no idea. Her childhood had been taken from her; not because of the war but because she had no memories of it. Her childhood only consisted in hiding in WISE’s HQ while Twilight was away for a mission. Until she came of age and the higher-ups decided to train her to become a spy herself per Twilight’s request. The first time she went on a mission was like running through all the debris that used to be her native village. There was bloodshed, violence, yelling and then… nothing. The first time she killed, she screamed and cried until she had no energy left and washed her hands until red stains formed on her skin because she scrubbed too hard. So no, she had no idea how kids were.
“Why don’t you ask for retirement then?”
She blurted the words without even thinking about it. But when pondered about their meaning, she realized she was right for asking him. It was true that Twilight was different ever since this whole mission started. He was less cold, he smiled more, and he spent less time in HQ. After all, he had to, otherwise his wife and his daughter would become suspicious. Even though Twilight was pretty much all she had, Dawn didn’t really know him. He was always away for a mission while she stayed in HQ and as she grew up, she started to walk her own path by becoming a spy himself. She’s never seen him resting or taking a break. “Criminals don’t rest”, he had said when she suggested him to go someplace else to take a breath. Maybe retirement was what he needed after all. For the first time in his life, he had people, *real* people that cared about him and there was no doubt the feeling was mutual.
“Huh?”, the spy gasped.
“We’ve all pretty much noticed just how important this family of yours was to you, Twi”, the words tasted bitter in her mouth. She wasn’t jealous but she couldn’t deny that she felt like the man who had become a mentor, some kind of brother over time, was slipping away from her reach and he hurt. If he quitted, who will she have left?
“I just want this mission to be over with quick.”
She folded her arms. “Are you saying this because you’re scared?”
“Scared? Me? Of what exactly?”
Dawn tried to read into his expression. His surprise was genuine but other than that, she couldn’t perceive anything.
“You feel like Loid’s becoming the person you used to be, before the war, before the spy work, before… everything”, she then paused for a moment. “And that scares you.”
Twilight sighed as he readjusted his hat.
“Look, you might think whatever you want but-“
“Retiring doesn’t mean betraying your country!”, she yelled, out of anger or annoyance, she didn’t know, maybe both. “You’ve already done plenty enough for it.”
She knew that Twilight dedicated his whole life for the safety of his country. He was the survivor of a bombing raid when he was still an infant, and he made his goal to protect children from the horrors of war, so his dedication was justified. Yet, he did enough. For the first time since she’s known him, his gaze ended up on the ground. He was no longer looking at her but at his feet.
“Think about this, Twilight. When your daughter succeeds, and you get to Donovan. When you’ll have to part ways with her and your amazing wife”, her fists clenched. “What will you leave behind?”
She didn’t even know why she was angry now.
“It isn’t the time to think about this! We’re in the brink of war, Dawn, don’t you see!”
“Yet most people around us live freely and normally! They work at their daily jobs, they fall in love, they hang out with their friends, they learn about life! What’s so different from you? You think that because you’re a child of war you’re doomed to fight your whole life?! This… This ain’t living. It’s surviving…”
Her mind was a mess right now. She was losing him, yet she pushes him to go even further away from her. If only this idiot could learn about selfishness. She turned away from him, feeling the tears in her eyes. She couldn’t afford to show him weakness.
“Damn it, I’m like ten years younger than you are, I shouldn’t be telling you stuff like this.”
And for a while, no one spoke. Not a word was said but she didn’t want to break that silence. Her heart felt heavy. Then, she heard a soft giggle and the sound of paper bags moving. He patted her on the head.
“Thanks Dawn.”
She couldn’t help feeling proud whenever he called her name. He was the person who named her after he found her in the streets that day. Dawn and Twilight. Even though Twilight quits his job, they’ll always be close to each other after all. Even if he becomes Loid for real, he’ll forever stay Twilight to her. She smiled as a tear runs down her cheek.
“I didn’t tell you all this to get a pat on the head you know.”
She hated feeling weak but there was something she always forgot about him: whenever she’d cry, he would just pretend not to see it.
“Wanna drink for a bit?”, he proposed.
The young spy dried her tear with her sleeve and smiled at him.
“I’m underage. And an underage girl drinking with an old man… A married old man at that… Ew.”
Yet, she followed him. On their way to the closest bar, she thought about Anya and Yor. Dawn already saw them from afar, she didn’t know much about them, but she knew they were both in good hands with Twilight around. Maybe he had plans with the two girls, but tonight, he put *her* first. Maybe to say goodbye, but that would be a beautiful farewell.
***
In the end, Twilight bought two bottles of juice and they sat on a bench in a nearby park. Several kids were playing on the playground and Twilight couldn’t take his eyes off them. This was what he was fighting for even since he took his spy mantle. Telling him to quit was uncalled for, yet she knew she told him the truth, she knew he was embracing a newfound happiness now and no one should take it away from him.
“You know, you’re right”, he suddenly started. “I’m getting sloppy these days. I want to keep fighting for my country but at the same time… Living life as Loid make me feel…”
Again, his cold expression.
“I’ve always known what to do, where to go and suddenly I’m left with more questions than answers.”
“I think that deep down you already know.”
He just nodded and Dawn watched the scene in front of her. A little girl was playing tags with two of her comrades. She grabbed the collar of one of the two kids’ jacket and hugged him. “I got you!” she exclaimed. Maybe she had friends to play with like that, once upon a time. Maybe she had hugged people too. But those times were no more. If Twilight retired, she would follow in his steps and become a great spy to protect the country in his stead. She secretly swore to herself.