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Nancy Wheeler was restless.
The whole world was in chaos, and she was stuck in the Upside Down, with no way out.
It was chaos and all Nancy could think was I can’t lose her and suddenly she realised why she got that fluttery feeling everytime Robin smiled just for her and why she was jealous when she thought Steve and Robin were dating and why, even though it was basically the end of the world, it didn’t feel so bad with Robin at her side. And she couldn’t be having this realisation in the middle of a fucking battle and so she did what she did best and pushed everything to the background and focused on getting herself out.
And then it was just over. She was out. The Upside Down was just a memory. Well, it wasn’t over over, but it was the closest to over it was going to get for the foreseeable future, and now was the time to rest. To recoup and gather their strength before what was to come.
But still Nancy could not rest.
It was in the aftermath that Nancy found Robin. She was by the edge of Lovers Lake, alone, staring into the murky depths.
Nancy had never seen the other girl so still. Normally, she was a flurry of energy, a tornado of excitement. But it was as if the past few days had drained all the life from her. Robin gave a small smile as she approached, and inclined her head, inviting Nancy to sit.
They didn’t speak. They didn’t need to. What use were words when you had just gone through the unspeakable?
As they sat there, arms brushing, feet pressed together, Nancy looked over. She was close enough to map the constellation of freckles across Robin’s cheeks. Close enough to smell the faint traces of perfume still lingering on Robin’s skin. Close enough to see the smudge of mascara in the corner under her left eye, close enough to reach out and wipe it away if she wanted to. And she wanted.
Nancy remembered her first impression of Robin, thinking she was just another girl who fell for Steve Harrington, and the pity she felt.
She remembered seeing the black chipped nail polish and the silver chain necklace, the vandalised sneakers, and thinking stay away stay away stay away .
She remembered being rude, asking Robin who she was, and remembers Robin’s eager to please answer. The rambling, nonsensical way she spoke.
She remembered the way she completely dismissed Robin’s attempt to reach out in the aftermath of Starcourt. Shut her down with short clipped sentences and a cold shoulder.
And yet, here Robin was. A girl who had seen Nancy’s flimsy attempt at friendship and welcomed her with open arms. A girl who had held no grudge, despite having every reason to.
A girl who was brilliant. Who was smart and clever and funny and Nancy’s match in every way. Her match in a way not even Jonathan could manage.
A girl who cared, who tried to lighten the mood with awful jokes, who jumped headfirst into the lake (even though Nancy had told her specifically not to) the moment she suspected her friends were in danger.
A girl who was sitting here staring at Nancy as if she was something to cherish. Something to love.
And Nancy was so overcome with that all consuming emotion again, an emotion that she was coming to recognise, but wouldn’t dare to speak. It was the same emotion she felt the first time Barb braided her hair, the time Steve had first smiled at her, the time Jonathan had tucked her into bed.
It was that same emotion guiding her when she leant forward, close enough to Robin that she could feel, rather than see, when the other girl’s eyes fluttered shut, and the shaky breath she took, the air warming Nancy’s own lips.
Nancy knew that this was dangerous. That this would change everything.
She did it anyway.
The kiss was slow, hesitant, just trembling lips pressed against trembling lips.
Robin pulled back, her eyes full of fear, blinking rapidly in confusion. There was a question there. Nancy felt a small smile pulling at her lips, and Robin’s expression changed instantly. Gone was the fear, the hesitation. There was only a glistening hope, and the most glorious smile Nancy had ever seen. She didn’t know what else to do other than kiss it off of her lips.
This kiss was anything but slow. This kiss was full of all the fear and adrenaline the last few days had built up within them, and they came together in a clash of lips and teeth and tongue. Robin’s hands were gripping her face, Nancy’s in Robin’s hair. Nancy couldn’t get enough of it, enough of her, couldn’t get rid of that voice screaming closer closer closer.
And Nancy was so tired. She was so goddamn tired of ignoring it. So she pulled Robin closer, her hands tightening around the nape of Robin’s neck and shoulder.
It was a rough, desperate thing. A kiss filled with fear and pain and recklessness, the desire to not be alone and it was bruising. But Nancy knew there would be others. She knew there would be time for soft and loving and delicate. And so she clutched tight to Robin, and Robin, glorious beautiful Robin, clutched just as tightly to her.
-
Nancy should have been sleeping. She should have been exhausted. She was exhausted. But she couldn't rest. Not even when she finally lay down in bed. Deep down she knew what it was. Her body knew what she wanted even if her mind wouldn't let her dare think of it. And she was so damn exhausted that she let herself give in and would let her mind panic over it some other time.
She got out of bed, tiptoeing towards the closet.
Her feet were barely in her shoes when there was a knock on her window.
It was Robin.
The relief was instantaneous. Robin had come to her, just as Nancy had planned to go to Robin.
Nancy opened the window.
Robin’s hair was rumpled, her jacket thrown over a pair of plaid pyjamas, odd socks on her feet. She looked about as sleep deprived as Nancy felt. Fuck, Nancy thought, I’ve never seen someone so beautiful.
Neither girl spoke, but they didn't need to. They collapsed into each other like the crash of a wave. Hands were entangled, heads found solace in each other’s necks, and their hearts beat in time. They were home.
And finally, finally, Nancy could rest.