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Jesse Ventura looked up from his duel monsters cards, a poker face expression on him. He was dawned in all kinds of punk gear and a hair style that'd put Yugi to shame. He eyed Dick Sother down who had played his Dark Magician Girl card and had two cards face down on the field. Jesse closed his eyes, believing in the heart of the cards as he drew from his deck.
Opening his eyes, he was shocked to see he had drawn the Blue Eyes White Dragon. "I summon the Blue Eyes White Dragon in attack mode and I will attack your Dark Magician Girl, Dick Sother!" He yelled as the dragon went to attack the poor monster, he grinned.
Aloysius gasped as the Dark Magician Girl was sent to the graveyard. She had known Dick to be one of the best duelists around, she couldn't believe he was being whipped by Jesse Ventura.
"No! No it can't be!" she cries, fear filling her voice because she's afraid and Jesus this metaphor is stupid. Whatever, enough prose bullshit, point is Aloysius is practically shitting herself.
Playing Card Jesse Ventura, however, seemed to have another trick up his sleeve... er, if he was wearing a shirt, that is. He wasn't because really, why the hell would a sentient playing card wear a shirt?
"Oh, is that it?" he grins, eyeing the cocky-looking Dick, "Well... too bad, DICK SOTHER, because you just ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD!"
For a moment, there is silence. Dick seems confused. Aloysius is still probably quaking in her boots. There's literally nothing happening.
"Well," Dick laughs, "is that all you've got? Just empty threats?"
Suddenly...
Motorcycles.
Fucking motorcycles.
Magically everyone was riding on motorcycles. Dick is extremely perturbed by this sudden scene change.
"WHAT?! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! THAT'S NOT EVEN IN THE RULES! SHIT, THIS FIC IS WRITTEN TERRIBLY!"
Playing Card Jesse Ventura chuckles, "Oh? Well too bad for you, because you are playing by MY rules now!"
Dick Sother began to draw another card, sweating. It was just another Kuriboh, nothing good. He sighed, only having one move to make. "I play Kuriboh, in defense mode!" He yells, setting the Kuriboh down.
Jesse laughed loudly, most of Dicks life points were already gone. With one more blast from his Blue Eyes White Dragon, Dick Sother would lose. "Well Dick, say goodbye to your winning streak! Blue Eyes, attack!" He yells and points at the Kuriboh.
The dragon roars and fires at the Kuriboh which destroys the poor monster. The rest of Dicks life points became nothing, zeros.
Dick drops to the ground, holding himself up. He pants and begins to sob uncontrollably. "No... no! You can't do this Jesse!"
"Yes I can, you are in the way of my plans. Say hi to the shadow realm for me!" Jesse Ventura laughs as his millenium staff begins to glow and Dick screams in agony, disappearing.
Aloysius ran off in the chaos, not wanting to be next. She pants, eyes wide in shock. She needed to save Dick and stand up to Jesse but she couldn't back there. Jesse would easily send her to the shadow realm too.
Jesse Ventura took the fallen duelists deck with a grin on his face. He was one step closer to his goal of collecting the millenium items, Dick was just in his way. Stepping into the dark, Jesse was no longer anywhere to be seen as he made his way away from there.