Work Text:
Ever since Armaros had become his guardian Angel, Michael had invited him to rest for the night in his apartment a few times, either because he didn’t want to be alone, had a bad feeling about that night, or just because he could see that something was bothering the Angel.
That night, it was about the last.
Armaros had been acting a little off, all day long. He’d seemed very distant and distracted. BB had caught him glancing at him with a sad expression a few times, but neither of them ever acknowledged it happened.
Honestly, Michael didn’t even know why he invited him over, and even less why the other accepted. Neither of them knew how to deal with each other when they were down, and they rarely ever talked about it.
Still, he had done it, and Armaros had accepted, for some reason, not even really complaining about it like he usually did. Now, he just had to find a way to approach the problem without his own heart trying to burst out of his chest.
Indeed, even after all that happened between them, Michael couldn’t help but fear the Angel sometimes, and, in those moments, he couldn’t help fearing that this one was suffering from the situation Michael had gotten him into, or worse, he was hating him for it and was still on the verge of killing him.
Michael laid there, in his bed, trying to think of something, anything but the thoughts that kept squeezing his heart. He had to figure something out. Even if he couldn’t forgive Armaros for what he had done, he’d given him a chance, and he’d seen the good in him come out, ever since then. He couldn’t just leave him out there like that.
He had to do something.
He sighed, finally decided to try and bring the subject up to the Angel, if this one was still awake, at least. He sat up in his bed, still trying to force his heart to calm down. If nothing had happened to him until now, why would it happen now, after all?
Carefully, the blue haired man made his way through the dark room. He went into the living room, expecting, at least, to find Armaros either sitting on the couch, or standing thoughtfully by the window.
But, no one was there.
Michael’s heart jumped painfully at the realization, a strange fear gaining his body and mind. He quickly looked around the apartment, trying to find the Angel, but couldn’t find him anywhere.
He was starting to panic, worrying that something bad had happened, when he remembered his rooftop.
It wasn’t likely, but… Maybe…
He didn’t bother putting on any shoes as he left the apartment, quickly making his way up to the roof.
He was about to call out for Armaros, when he heard a faint singing coming from a little farther away. He tried to keep himself calm and steady as he approached silently the speakers, that he always kept on the roof, for when his bros would visit him.
He stopped, however, when he could see the Angel, sitting behind them, singing softly to himself. It was a beautiful tune, for sure, but it was such a sad one.
Michael couldn’t help but reach out for his pierced heart, the tune somewhat appeasing the tension in it, and yet, making it hurt more by its sadness, and heaviness.
He didn’t really have the time to think about how to approach the Angel, when this one stopped in his song to look up at him, a surprised and pained look on his own face.
“I didn’t hear you approaching…” Armaros sighed, sounding a little embarrassed.
“Armaros…” Michael wasn’t sure what to do, but he couldn’t just leave this situation like this, something was clearly bothering the Angel, and he didn’t like it one bit, he had to find a way to help, he had to make him talk to him. “Why - Is something wrong?”
Armaros stared at him for a moment, examining him, before he sighed and turned his gaze back over the edge of the building, looking at the horizon full of dark buildings, full of sleeping people.
“I don’t suppose you’ll let that one go, will you?” He muttered, a little annoyed.
“I just want to help…” Michael pointed out sadly.
“Why?” Armaros huffed without thinking. He quickly quieted himself, glancing at Michael, who was just standing there, clutching at his heart with a worried expression. “I still don’t get it.” Armaros sighed. “How can you give me another chance, and be so chill about me becoming your guardian Angel, after all I’ve done to you?”
“I-” BB didn’t really get to speak before Armaros continued.
“I fucking killed you, after all. I’m a murderer, no matter that you got brought back to life or not. I shouldn’t even be able to have such a nice title of ‘Guardian Angel’ with the crimes I’ve committed.” Armaros spoke quietly, looking distantly over the city.
“We already talked about it…” Michael carefully approached the Angel, coming to sit by his side against the back of the speakers. “It’s hard to forgive, but it doesn’t mean you don’t have to get another chance… I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. Besides, I know there’s good in you.” Michael tried to reassure awkwardly.
“It doesn’t matter what my intent was, I still ended up killing you. Besides, you said it yourself, I shouldn’t just run blindly killing demons just because I’m an Angel…” Armaros looked at him with a serious expression, before his face softened, something more sad taking its place as he looked up at the sky. “You know, I didn’t mean to kill you, or to hurt you in any way. I really do regret it, even if those words mean nothing compared to the damage I did.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I know it.” Michael gave him a small smile.
“No. It’s not okay…” Armaros sighed, a frown making it’s way onto his face. “Maybe… If I hadn’t existed… You could have had a normal, happy life…” He mumbled quietly, tears building up in his eyes without his permission. “I should have been sent to hell for what I did that day, and you wouldn’t need to be worried about me anymore, you wouldn’t need to fear me anymore…” His red, bloody, tears rolled down his cheeks as he spoke, not taking his eyes away from the dark, cloudy sky.
Michael was at a total lost for words. He’d known the Angel regretted his actions, and they’d talked about it before, but, he’d never expected this one to feel that depressed about it.
He wasn’t sure how to deal with the situation, as he knew how it was hard to reason with someone when they were lost in those kinds of thoughts, knowing it too well from his own depressed moments.
“I don’t think that’s true.” He settled for, trying not to get into an anxiety attack from how serious the conversation was, and how dark it could get if he didn’t manage to comfort the Angel, or himself. “Even if you hadn’t been there to kill me, I’d probably would have found myself in some other troubles…” He tried to mumble a joke, although he was too unsure of himself to really make this one sound right. “And, if you’d been thrown in hell after that, you wouldn’t have been able to save my ass, and my siblings’ so many times.” He pointed out, feeling a little more confident on that one. “Sure, you made a mistake, a big one, but everyone makes mistakes. It doesn’t me-”
“People don’t just go make the mistake of killing innocent people by error.” The Angel huffed, cutting him off to correct him.
“Sure, but it still doesn’t mean you can’t have a second chance. Heck, even some of the worst criminal in this world got a second chance, even though the family of the victims didn’t agree to it. What they did with it was their own choice, their own path they chose, but, it just comes to show that, you having killed me, doesn’t mean you can’t get a second chance. And, you’re already making things right, just by being here, and protecting me when I’m in danger.” Michael tried to reassure.
Armaros looked a little offended at the comparison, at first, but quickly relaxed, understanding BB’s point.
“Still…” He sighed, looking down at his lap. “You’re only suffering more with me around…”
“What are you saying, dude?” Michael raised an eyebrow at him. “You’ve helped me so much since you’ve been my guardian angel. Why would you think I’m suffering more because of you?” He asked, genuinely confused.
“Don’t pretend like you don’t still have nightmares because of what I did.” Armaros looked at him with serious, yet, hurt eyes. “I can feel when you get anxious by my presence as well.” His expression saddened as he looked away again, back at the city. “You should have to force yourself to care about me, and support my presence…”
“Yes. Yes, it’s true, I still have nightmares where you kill me, or my family.” Michael admitted seriously. “I still feel my heart racing sometimes when I see you approaching, when I’m anxious.” He continued, ignoring that the Angel was now hiding his crying face in his knees. “But, we can’t heal trauma in one day. And, since you’ve been helping me out, I’ve never felt better.” Michael put a hand on Armaros’ shoulder, drawing his attention back onto him. “Traumas can be overcome, with time, but also by facing what caused them. So, you’re helping me every day that you’re here, by my side.” He gave him a gentle smile. “Besides, you’ve already showed how good of a guardian Angel you can be. Do you need me to enumerate all the times you’ve saved me and my siblings? Because, if that’s what I need to do, I’ll do it.” He gave a wet chuckle, feeling his own tears starting to fall on his cheeks.
“I don’t see how that-” Armaros started to argue, but Michael started speaking over him, cutting him off.
“There was that first time, when I got attacked by some random killer, stabbed in the back, and you stopped them from killing me. Then you took me back home and cared for me while I was recovering from the stabbing and the sickness.” He started to list, a mischievous smile spreading on his lips as he noticed the other glaring at him annoyingly. “Then that one time when the ghosts were harassing me, blaming me for not arriving in time to save them, and you scolded them and made them leave me alone. There was also that one time when my little brother got attacked, and he rapped battled that thing, but I got stabbed in the back, almost died again too. I only survived because you were fast to arrived and make them flee, even if they were too fast for you to hit them. If you didn’t make stop them, and didn’t do whatever you did to slow the bleeding, I’d have died, again, right then. Heck, you even tried to keep an eye on us all while we were sleeping at-”
“OKAY, OKAY! I get it!” Armaros finally cut him off, having had enough of the rambling, and feeling much too flustered at being praised to let him continue. “I get it…”
“Are you sure?” BB teased lightly, elbowing the angel gently. “I still have plenty more examples, though.”
“No. That’s enough.” The angel huffed, although Michael could see the smile that was slowly appearing on his face, despite the tears. “You’re so stupid, you know?”
“Yes, I know.” Michael beamed at him, watching as the other wiped the tears out of his eyes. “It’s what I excel at.” He teased with a wink.
“I guess so.” Armaros couldn’t help the small chuckled that escaped him. “Thank you.” He said after a moment of silence between the two of them. “And, sorry for worrying you…”
“Hey, it’s okay, man.” Michael reassured. “Everyone has their own time when they feel down. Although, I wish you would have told me about it sooner.” He scolded lightly. “I might sound like a hypocrite, but you really shouldn’t bottle up your feelings like that. You can talk to me anytime.” He offered sincerely to the Angel.
Armaros didn’t reply to that, first examining his expression, searching for any sign of a lie, or of him forcing himself to be nice, but finding nothing more than honesty. He sighed, smiling as he looked at the sky again, silently thanking him for having allowed him to live through all this, and to have forced him to stay with Michael, as he would have to admit, although, never to this one, that he really did help him a lot in return as well.
“Now, how about we go back inside?” Micheal offered after a moment of enjoying the night’s sky, which had cleared up while they were talking, allowing them to now see the shining stars. “It’s getting kinda cold out there, and it’s quite late already. We should probably go to sleep.”
“I guess so.” Armaros nodded quietly.
“Oh, and you should probably clean up your face, it’s all red from the tears of blood.” Michael pointed out teasingly to the angel as he helped him back up.
“Shut up.” Armaros huffed, blushing a little. “Mind your own business.”
Michael laughed at that, as he led him back to his apartment, feeling much lighter than he’d felt for a while.
Once back there, both boys allowed themselves to relax. Michael made sure that Armaros was actually going to sleep, before he himself went to his own bed, ready to collapse after all those emotions, but happy that they’d finally managed to talk a little better about Armaros’ feelings.