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"Do you remember it?" Sara asks, and Ranmaru pauses, unsure how to respond. She hasn't elaborated what "it" is, but there are only so many things that she can mean. He's fairly sure he knows what she's talking about, but the last thing he wants to do is make an unwelcome assumption and dump another ton of bricks onto her already overloaded shoulders.
"Remember what?" he offers, after an extended silence.
Sara grimaces. "Sorry. I shouldn't have asked."
Ranmaru can feel the corners of his own mouth twitching downward. It's not like he wants to make her say it, especially now that her reaction basically confirms his suspicions, but there's some thorn of pettiness in his heart at the thought of even being asked that it's too late to swallow. "You mean…when I died, right?"
Sara exhales, saying nothing. Ranmaru leans against the wall, staring at the ceiling.
"Well…no," he says. He hears, rather than sees, Sara slump slightly, the fabric of her school jacket rustling lightly on the wall. "They wouldn't have had to show us the videos if we remembered. Said something about…how our brains couldn't handle actually remembering what it felt like."
Sara nods, as though she already knew the answer. "That's…what I heard, too."
"If you already knew, why'd you ask?" Ranmaru asks, eyes still firmly fixed on the graveyard ceiling.
"I guess…you haven't really had a chance to…talk about how unfair your situation is. I thought maybe…"
"My situation?" Ranmaru repeats, incredulously. "Forget mine, yours is way worse."
"No, it's…" Sara bites her lip. "The Dummies…you're all suffering in a way that I can't even imagine. I've seen people die, but…you all…even after you died…you're still being trampled on…even after spilling all your blood like that, it wasn't enough of a mess for those monsters…"
Something about the way she phrases that gives him pause. "Did you watch it? The whole thing?" Ranmaru asks.
"Did I…" The light in Sara's eyes dims just a bit. "It was…I didn't…I saw it in the previous round…when we were sneaking around in Miley's room. There were…a few discs in that office, and a machine we could play them back on. I…we had only been there to look for security footage, but I wanted…to be thorough…"
It's obviously distressing to talk about, so Ranmaru puts a hesitant hand on her shoulder. "Hey. That's enough. You don't gotta justify that to me."
"In some ways…" Sara rubs her eyes, out of a desire to pre-emptively wipe away some tears or exhaustion Ranmaru isn't sure. "In some ways, it was easier not knowing anything about the boy I saw in that video. But in other ways, I'm glad that I know now…what kind of person you are."
Were, Ranmaru corrects in his head, but doesn't say it out loud. "It wasn't very cool of me to die like that, was it?"
"There's not really a cool way to die, I think." Sara tugs at the edge of her skirt. "I've seen a lot of it lately. Not a single time, it's been cool."
Ranmaru thinks that Tsukimi Shin—though they're still calling him Sou, even Midori is, so maybe that's not right—managed to pull off a cool death. At least, it sounded like it—he wasn't there to see it, of course. But he doesn't voice these thoughts, because he knows Sara's not the kind of person to entertain them. "You're right," he concedes. "Even so…I wish I'd fought back a little more."
"Is that why you're so ready to fight back now?" Sara asks.
She's just full of invasive questions today, but Ranmaru finds he doesn't seem to mind answering them, and they may not get the chance to talk again besides. "Partly, yeah. I just…you know, I was just a normal high school student. I hadn't even decided what I wanted to do with my life…after graduating. I never got to make that decision. And I can talk about the things that 'Kageyama Ranmaru, age 17' was thinking about doing as a career…but I'll never know what I would have wanted to do at 19, 20, 30…" He trails off, glancing over at Sara, to see her turning white as a sheet. "Sorry."
"No, I…" She puts a hand to her forehead, resting it there. "I'm just so angry on your behalf."
But she's exhausted, and so that's the only way her feelings have been coming out lately. Just becoming more and more tired. She sways slightly, and Ranmaru starts as though he means to catch her, but catches himself instead, settling back against the wall and pointedly avoiding looking at her. Much as he'd like to offer her some sort of comfort, that's best left to her human companions.
He feels the weight of her settle against his side and he jumps, a garbled, indescribable noise catching in his throat. "Sara? Are you okay?!"
"I'm…tired, Ranmaru…" She slumps against him, just like she'd done against the wall a moment ago, before pulling away and sitting up straight, lightly slapping both sides of her face. "But I can't be doing that. If I let myself slip, who knows how far I'll fall behind…!"
"You can rely on me a little more, you know."
"I do," Sara says. "I don't know anyone else with a steamer for a hand!"
Somehow, that hurts more than anything else they've talked about. Ranmaru nods wordlessly, not even sure he wants to respond. Sara seems to realize she's messed up, that dismal pallor casting over her face again, so he holds up his hands—steamer and all—and waves them apologetically. "That's right! If you ever need anything ironed out and smelling like ginger ale, just come and see me."
Sara laughs, the first time he's heard her do it, and that pang of discomfort earlier eases and disappears entirely. "Sorry, that was out of line even for a joke. Thank you for playing along. I know it wasn't…"
Ranmaru shrugs. "It's fine. It's hardly the meanest thing that's been done to me."
What a way to phrase it. Sara flushes, obviously feeling a little awkward even if that wasn't his intention; Ranmaru supposes they're even, with that.
There's a slightly awkward silence that goes on just long enough for Ranmaru to become antsy. Eventually, he's alerted to the sound of shuffling papers. He sees Sara with a small sheaf of them, reading them with little emotion. "Did they tell you about the experiments they ran? Do you remember any of those, or did they wipe away your memories?"
"Experiments?"
Sara hands him the four pieces of paper. "You might have heard Midori talking about this. They did a bunch of simulations with the AIs—including you all in the dolls. To see who survived to the end. Those percentages…it's how often we won. I was looking for your name."
"Why?" Ranmaru asks, despite giving into the exact same urge himself. "Urgh, not very good…"
"There's no details, so I don't know anything about the First Trial…or if that figured into these percentages at all." Sara reaches for the papers, then gives him a wry smile. "Forget what he said. You think our odds together go up to about 20%?"
Ranmaru stifles a chuckle. "That'd be nice. There's six teams, so they'd be just under even, in that case. About par with my math test scores."
But of course, they've already agreed their odds together don't matter. It's either all of them or none of them, as far as they're concerned.
"I don't understand…" Sara says, very quietly. "I don't understand why we're here."
"Me neither." Ranmaru folds his hands, rolling his thoughts around in his head like a magic eight-ball. "But I'm glad that I got paired up with you. So I'm just going to make peace with what happened. We'll turn those percentages into 100 for all of you."
"And you too," Sara says firmly.
"As in the Dummies? Our percentages are all 0% to begin with." Even if this banquet nonsense is legitimate, Ranmaru doubts Asunaro will just let the Dummies roam free.
"That's not true, but even if it was, our percentages together would be 100%."
Ranmaru looks over at her. He bites the inside of his cheek. He's long lost track of this conversation. "Can I hold you to that?"
"You can." Sara is still tired, exhaustion making her voice creak, but it's stronger, just for those two words. She's quiet for a little longer. "Ranmaru?" she asks, voice shrinking again.
"What's up?"
"I wish…we had been able to meet under different circumstances."
"Yeah." Ranmaru agrees easily. "I wish we had been able to meet."
"We…" Sara turns to look at him, just enough indignance in her face to be able to have it visibly melt when she meets Ranmaru's gaze. Of course, he's devastated to have to phrase it that way. More than anything, he wishes the two of them could have just met at school. The only wishes for the future that Kageyama Ranmaru, age 17 can imagine he might have had involve asking Chidouin Sara out on a date. It's for his own benefit, as well as Sara's, that he firmly reminds the both of them whenever he can.
Those wishes for the future have only come into being after he's no longer alive to have wished for them at all. There's no sense in entertaining them.
He sees her wither slightly, and does what he can not to read into it. Even if it means his feelings are returned, that just makes the situation even worse.
"Ranmaru, I…"
"Yeah. Me too, Sara."
He stands up, offers her his hand. She takes it and pulls herself up after him.
There are no lingering touches, no meaningful looks; their hands separate easily. No words have actually been said, after all, even if their unspoken understanding hangs in the air, thick as poisonous gas. "If something happens…" Ranmaru begins.
"It won't," Sara interrupts. "Together, our odds are 100%. Remember?"
Ranmaru hesitates. "Right."
Sara puts her hand on the unlit button below the coffin, legs long since collapsed under her. Gin sits hunched next to her, adamant to not leave her side until she's ready to stand. Meister doesn't seem to be around, and all the better. Q-taro and Kurumada have been carefully laid out on the floor, hands folded over their stomachs, or at least as close as possible in Kurumada's case.
"Big sis…" Gin puts a tiny, gloved hand on Sara's. The relief she feels is indescribable. She, Gin, Keiji, Reko, and Kanna, they're all still alive…
She sees, out of the corner of her eye, Kanna settle down next to her and put her hand atop hers and Gin's. "This is Ranmaru's coffin," she says.
"Yeah."
"We'll just have to win for him and the other Dummies too," Kanna says, steel and fire in her voice.
"I…" Sara swallows hard. "I didn't see it, this time."
Kanna seems somewhat taken aback. "Did you want to?" she asks quietly.
"No. But I saw…"
Joe. Nao. Kai. Mishima. Alice. Sou. Q-taro's doll. Kurumada. Even Rio Laizer she saw die on the table.
"It's just…he was all alone, the first time, and I…this time, too…"
Kanna shakes her head. "No. Even if you didn't see it…he called out to you, remember? You may not have been able to see the exact moment that it happened, but…he had his friends with him. I'm sure…that he wasn't lonely this time."
The first time he died, Kageyama Ranmaru had expired slowly, as though falling asleep. This time it was abrupt, it was cruel, it was spectacle and sound and thunder. Both times, it was needless, horrific.
Kanna holds Sara from her left side, and Gin from the right. She feels Reko's hand on her shoulder as the singer finally finishes processing the banquet and everything that happened, only to see her friend in a heap on the floor. She can feel Keiji standing behind them, looming awkwardly in the way he always does, too polite to interrupt the impromptu cuddle pile the women and kids have started without him.
The whole time, Sara keeps her hand pressed against that button, as though somehow, through some miracle, Ranmaru will be able to feel how warm it is to be surrounded by friends.
Her hand remains there, her wrist cramping, until the whole coffin machine eventually flickers off.