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The Prise of Wine
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Editor's note (haha, still me, i am the editor): Madam Rosmerta is referred to as 'Rita' throughout because I genuinely thought that was her name before my betz said otherwise.
This thing is set during the Half-blood Prince thing (I don't know, book or film).
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1.
Rita wasn't happy today. Sometimes she dispersed about the state of the world. There was no secret that the wizard wouldn't find out unless they were hungry and this time they were poking and prying their noses in her business. She had a pub to run, for Satan's sake you know! The cakes did not cake themselves!
Today it was Draco Malfoy who was at her door. He kept coming telling her to poison Dumbledore's mead but she didn't want to and told him so because that would be bad business and people were already afraid to come out to lunch because of his dad and other death eaters.
But it was Draco Malfoy and he had his wand out.
Rita only had her broomstick from sweeping up so she eeped.
"Please spare me, Drago" she said. " Please please please please please."
"You have disappointed me for the last time, woman" Drago scoffed. " Kill Albus Dumbledorr or die, okay?"
He handed her a wand.
Hands shaking, Rita took it. "But why must he die, Drago?" She begged. " I don't want to have to hurt anyone."
"But you must if I will not tell everyone your secrets, Mrs Rita. This wand is a poison wand. Take him a bottle of good firemead for a knight-cap" Draco Malfoy ordered imperially. " It is very important that he be dead before the sun rise, else the Dark Lod will never let my father out of prison!"
"Oh" I gasped. That was awful!
"Otherwise I'll burn it all down!"
Draco turned on his heal and left Rita alone in the pub with herself.
2.
"Oh dear" Rita said, string down at the fearful wand in her hand. "How can she possibly defeat Dumbledores when she is only a humble bartender? The very thought of Drago burning down the Three Butterbeers was almost inconceivable but if anyone was mad enough to do it it would be Draco Malfoy...
Perhaps Madam Pomfritte had some ideas. They were good friends who often met to gossip and Rita resolved to go up and ask her friend for help.
When she got to Hogwarts the doors were locked.
For Salad's sake!
Rita hammered on them until Flitch came out.
"Sorry no one can come in. We heard there are assassins out to kill the headmaster" Flitch said.
"That is all well and good but I am here to see my friend, not kill your headmaster" Rita said. " She is the hospital nurse and until you are on total lockdown I demand to see her!"
Flitch was a sad man and very intimidated by Rita so he used his Dark Detectors on her and let her in. He did not know that poison is not dark because he never went to school so Rita had it still. When he tried to confiscate her alcohol and she bonked him on the head.
3.
Then she was in the school and went to the crypt to pay her respects to Stan (She worshipped Stan because she was a witch who hates witch burnings and although she was okay with mugglebloods it was hard sometimes because they all worshipped the Antisatan.) And then to the medical room where Pomfritte was getting drunk on medical Russian alcohol.
"Oh no no no" Rita said confiscating it. " That is not for you, Ma'am." She gave her some firedrink.
"Mooh maank moo, mittta" Pomfritte said, chugging it back. " Mhow man not mellph moo?"
Rita could speak Drunken because of her profession and explained the situation. Pomfritte was appalled.
Then a boy with a cat face and cat whiskers and cat paws came in crying and Rita comforted him as Pomfritte was in no state to conduct magic.
When the boy was drunk enough to not be crying anymore, Pomfritte explained that Dunbledore should probably die in that case.
"No I won't do it" Rita screamed at Pomfritte. " You can't make me! Dumbledore is the best wizard ever. The only one you know, who was ever afraid of."
But apparently he also had a terminal disease Snape had given him or something so Pomfritte wanted Rita to do assisted authenasia that would also save her beloved pub.
That was a difficult one, I must admit: Murder or Dracon?
You decide.