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Arthur cringes in his seat when Alfred starts laughing. He waits for him to stop but everytime he tries to say something, his brother just starts laughing even more.
“Alfred, this is not funny” he says. Next to him, Alfred is starting to cry and his face is so red it looks like a balloon.
“Yes it is!” Alfred exclaims. “I was out for three days! Three days and I missed this!”
“Oh my god, you are the worst. I shouldn’t have told you what happened. Why am I telling you what happened anyways?”
After that, Alfred stops his laughs until there’s just a sly smile in his face.
“Because I’m your brother and one of your best friends and this is the kind of things you have to say to me.”
“I don’t have to.”
“Well it was me or Kiku, and the last time you talked to him about your sex life, he tried to make you buy some weird japanese sex toys. With tentacles.”
Arthur shudders when he remembers that. After a couple of seconds, he just sighs and hides his face in his hands.
“I can’t believe I’m talking about this with my little brother.”
“Well, I’m just two years younger.”
“Physically. Mentally you are like twelve.”
“Hey!” Alfred retorts. Arthur, however, is so immersed in his own misery (yes, he’s being melodramatic), he barely acknowledges Alfred’s protest. When he lifts his face again is because his brother is offering him a beer.
“Thank you.”
“Yeah, I thought you needed one.” There is a pause. “So… you ended up in ER with an unconscious Francis because you were banging so hard he hit his head with the wall.”
“Oh my god. It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.” Arthur cries and Alfred holds the urge to burst into laughs again.
“Yeah, I imagine.”
“It was supposed to be a great night with great mind-blowing sex and now Francis won’t even talk to me, let alone have sex with me, because he needed three stitches and they cut his hair!”
There is a pause and then, Alfred adds, “I wonder…”
“What?”
“Is it possible to die of blue balls?”
A smile appears in his face.
“You are an arsehole.”
After that, Alfred starts laughing again.