Archive of Our Own ^beta

The wind whistled through the trees of the EDZ where Shrike’s camp was based as they poked at the embers of a fire in a pit. It was only mid-afternoon but the day was already starting to drag on. For a minute, they considered just dousing the fire and moving on. Before they could move to put away their bedroll, Capsaicin bounced up into the air.

“Crow’s calling!” She gasped, flying to hover in front of Shrike’s face. “He wants to know where we are.”

“Ping him.” Shrike stood. “What do we have on hand?”

“Ingredients?” Capsaicin twirled. “We could make birria, or a stir fry?”

Shrike hummed for a moment. “Birria. This seems like the right time for comfort food.”

The two of them worked in tandem to shift around the campsite, making enough room for a small foldable table Capsaicin pulled out from storage in their ship. Shrike dragged another log onto the fire and stirred it up again before rummaging for a frying pan and some oil. They pulled a knife from their boot and started slicing open chilies, removing the seeds and adding them to a small bowl of garbage.

When Crow entered the little clearing, it was to the smell of spices and chilies. He cleared his throat and Shrike looked up from the pot. Crow’s hood was pulled low over his head, and his eyes had dark rings around them.

“I’m glad you’re back.” Shrike said softly.

Crow stalled by the edges of the clearing. “I’m sorry I left.”

“I don’t blame you.” They stood. “Do you want some dinner?”

“What?” He froze.

“We can talk, but I doubt you’ve had a real meal since you left.”

“I—sure.” Crow came down to sit on the other side of the small fire from Shrike. “You’re right. I haven’t.”

Glint appeared from over his shoulder. “It was terrible. We’ve been living off ration bars for weeks.”

“Then let me feed you.” Shrike set the lid over the pot and poked at the fire once more. “We have a few hours until this is done.”

“This man—Jolyon—came to come and find me.” Crow started, staring into the embers. “He said he knew m—Uldren. That we were partners.”

Shrike hummed, setting a second pot over the fire, this one filled with water.

“He also said that you sent him.”

Their hand stalled above the pot. “I did.”

“Why?”

“I felt like you should have someone to talk to who knew the man who’s face you share. Someone who knew the other parts of him, not just the end. I thought he might have comfort I couldn’t give.” They started collecting bowls off the folding table.

Crow rubbed at his eyes. “It was—I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry if I overstepped.” Shrike said carefully. “I’m trying to help, but I’m not always sure how.”

“Why do you care?” Crow lifted his head from his hands. “Why do you try to help me, when everyone else blames me for his crimes?”

“Because you aren’t Uldren.” They took a deep breath. “And I love you.”

Crow froze. “What?”

“I love you.” Shrike paused. “And I don’t care if you feel the same, but I do care about you.”

“Oh.” Crow looked up from his lap. “I didn’t—”

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” They looked pained. “I never wanted to—”

“I love you too, I think.” He blurted out, leaning forward.

“We should probably talk more later.” Shrike stood, grabbing the bowls. “But I think it should wait until you’ve had a chance to eat.”

“Okay.” He stood with them. “What are you making?”

“Birria. It’s a Mexican stew dish. A family in the city showed me how to make it.” Shrike grabbed a bottle of soap.

“Can I help?” Crow walked around until he could get a better angle on the pot.

“You can help me clean the dishes.” Shrike offered him a rag.

“Of course, Old Light.” Crow gave a mocking bow. “Anything for you.”

They paused. “You do know I’m younger than you, right?”

“What?”

“By a few months!” Shrike started to giggle.

Crow flicked them with his dishrag. “I can’t believe you let me believe you were some elder guardian for months!”

“It just never seemed like a good time.” They cackled. Crow laughed with them, doubling over sideways.

“Thank you.” He said softly as the laughter died down.

“Of course.” Shrike leaned against his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”