Work Text:
Shen Yuan is going to die.
He’d been minding his own business up until now, when he’d accidentally bumped into the frozen tundra disguised as a human being: Shen Jiu. The fact that they had the same last name only made it worse, because it meant he got glared at on their first day of introductions for daring to be born with a common family name in China.
And now he is on the shit list, again, for not looking at where he was going. But it wasn’t all his fault! Shen Jiu had been standing in the aisle, glaring down at his phone while ignoring the weirdly intense stares he sometimes got from one of the older years from the class window—Yue Qi, he thinks? Yeah, Yue Qi. It’s not like Shen Yuan is always watching Shen Jiu, or anything, he just notices when the same person hangs out in the same area to watch the same person have the same reaction (that is, no reaction) every single day. It was noticeable.
So it wasn’t totally Shen Yuan’s fault when he bumped into Shen Jiu on accident and subsequently slammed his hip into the edge of the desk. And then grabbed onto Shen Jiu for balance. Which led to both of them stumbling into each other as he’d yanked on Shen Jiu’s arm to stay upright, making him drop his phone in the process.
“S-sorry!” he squeaks as Shen Jiu turns his glare full-force onto him. “I didn’t mean to— I was distracted-!”
“You were distracted,” Shen Jiu spits, making Shen Yuan flinch and back up a few steps, rubbing his hip. Ah, now that’s going to bruise in addition to the beating he’s about to get. Shen Jiu studies him, scowling, and then rolls his eyes and bends to pick up his phone.
“I am so sorry,” Shen Yuan breathes, taking in the shattered screen. Shen Jiu presses the power button a few times and then curses when all he gets is a glitched home screen that won’t respond. “I-I’ll buy you a new one! That was completely my fault!”
“It was,” Shen Jiu hisses, his face pinched and upset. He is about to say more, no doubt to tear Shen Yuan a new one, when the door opens abruptly. The teacher stops in his tracks when he takes in the scene of Shen Yuan manfully cowering—no, uh, confidently standing his ground!—against Shen Jiu.
“Shen Jiu!” he barks, to which Shen Jiu barely gives him the incline of his head. “Stop terrorizing your classmates! Sit down!”
Shen Yuan opens his mouth to protest, but Shen Jiu just glares at him, his expression rapidly darkening to fit the aura of storm clouds brewing above his head. He sets his jaw. Then he turns and plops down in his seat, slipping his broken phone into his desk. Shen Yuan grimaces and slowly retreats.
The rest of homeroom is like the first circle of hell, leaving Shen Yuan to his tortuous imagination and the limbo of knowing he did something wrong but being unable to rectify it. Shang Qinghua behind him pokes him a few times but he doesn’t respond, burying his head in his books throughout math.
He spends a few futile minutes near the end of class messaging Xiu Ya— Xiu Ya, what do I do??? Xiu Ya, this one accidentally did something that might get me killed QAQ. Xiu Ya, pls respond asap (｡ ́︿ ̀｡) —but she doesn’t see his messages. Maybe she is busy now, since before his disastrous mistake he’d been in the middle of texting her. That was fine, he’ll just vent to her after he gets the stuffing beaten out of him by Human Tornado Shen. If he’s still alive by then.
At break, he looks up once to see Shen Jiu storming away, probably to rage at Yue Qi for showing up again with his worried face. Shen Yuan swallows. His doom is near. Shen Jiu’s aura was always more oppressive whenever he returned from his meetings with Yue Qi, not less!
Wait! Not yet! He can still prevent his untimely demise. There is a tech store a few blocks from the school—he’d be there and back before break was over.
“Be right back,” he mutters to Shang Qinghua, who stares at him worriedly, his cheeks stuffed with melon seeds. Talk about a metaphor.
He stops just before leaving the school to grab an umbrella, since it looks like it’s going to rain. Like the gods are sympathizing with Shen Yuan’s poor fate. Shen Yuan weeps tears of blood in his heart. Woe is him.
He makes it to the tech store in record time, flagging down a clerk. The desperation must have been plain on his face, since she gets him hooked up with the latest model along with a case, charger, and even wireless headphones faster than he thought possible. He thanks her profusely and pays with card, adding a tip to her cheerful wave. Then he rushes out again, making it back in time for Chinese to start, the teacher giving him a suspicious stare when he slides into his seat with a bag that is immediately stuffed into his desk. Shang Qinghua offers him a handful of melon seeds. Shen Jiu does not turn around.
Chinese is slow. That’s fine, it gives Shen Yuan more time to prepare and calm his racing heart. He texts Xiu Ya again, just in case, but she’s still AWOL. It is a little unusual; most of the time she was pretty quick to respond, especially when his messages were this urgent. Shen Yuan thinks miserably that she might be ignoring him for leaving her on read earlier—she did that sometimes. He’ll apologize to her and build her a garden when he gets online.
The Chinese teacher calls on him to finish a poem, and he stands and clears his throat. He hadn’t been paying attention, but luckily, luckily, it was a poem of Li Bai’s that Xiu Ya had been referencing in their late night chat not too long ago. Shen Yuan sends a quick prayer to his beautiful, clever goddess and vows to never argue with her again on the technicality of texture packs.
After Chinese is chemistry, and Shen Yuan settles in for the slog through electrons and their disappearing act. He wishes he was an electron. Then he’d be gone when anyone tried to look for him. He sends that thought to Xiu Ya and receives silence.
Chemistry draws to a close too soon. Shang Qinghua pats him on the shoulder and then bids a hasty retreat. “Good luck, bro,” he whispers as he rushes by, dropping a few seeds on the ground. “Let me know if you need me to call the ambulance.”
Shen Yuan flips him off and drags himself to his feet. He just remembered what day it was. Today is a fantastic day! The universe loves to hate him in particular! Because today!! Today it is his cleanup duty! Along with Shen! Fucking! Jiu!
As the classroom drains of people, Shen Yuan hovers anxiously behind Shen Jiu, who ignores him. He follows him up to the closet where they keep cleaning supplies.
Before Shen Jiu could get the brooms out and start dual-wielding them against Shen Yuan like they’re lightsabers, Shen Yuan grabs his arm.
“Wait—”
“What,” Shen Jiu snaps, wrenching his arm away and backing up against the closet.
Shen Yuan swallows, a dry click in his throat. “I wanted to apologize. For breaking your phone. It was an accident, I was texting someone important and—well, that doesn’t matter. I really didn’t mean to.”
Shen Jiu scoffs, reaching one hand behind him to open the supply closet while still facing Shen Yuan. “Go clean the blackboard, A-Yuan,” he instructs, somehow making it sound like a threat. Shen Yuan winces at the nickname—one he’d hoped to drop when he reached high school and yet followed him like a curse. Shang Qinghua calling him that as a joke didn’t help, either. Shen Jiu probably just didn’t like the reminder that they had the same last name.
“I bought you a new one,” he tries again. Shen Jiu gives him a look like he was a bug trying to climb into his breakfast. “A phone. A replacement. It’s no trouble, I just wanted to fix— what happened earlier. I know it was my fault for bumping into you, I’m really sorry.”
Shen Jiu studies him, his face an impassive mask. He is intimidatingly good-looking, Shen Yuan thinks, just that side of pretty that fits right in with the term ‘icy beauty’. Long, dark phoenix eyes, slender and serious eyebrows, tall nose, thin petal-pink lips. He has the cheekbones of a marble statue. Then those lips twist and he waves Shen Yuan off. “Go, then,” he says. Shen Yuan blinks at him. “The replacement? You just said you got me a new phone.”
“Oh, r-right.” Shen Yuan stumbles back, decidedly ignoring the amused twist to Shen Jiu’s mouth. Xiu Ya sometimes said he was silly-cute, whatever that meant, but he tried to be more aware in public. It’s not his fault he sometimes got lost in thought.
It occurs to Shen Yuan that this is probably just a strategic move to let him hand over the phone now, before they cleaned and Shen Jiu decked him and got blood all over everything. He slowly retrieves the bag, marches up to the other boy like he’s marching toward Death himself, and stiffly hands it over to Shen Jiu. Shen Jiu takes a seat at a desk and immediately starts fiddling with the setup.
“I’ll just… start cleaning then,” Shen Yuan says, grabbing a broom and starting to sweep near where Shang Qinghua had left his little melon seed casings everywhere in the back of the room. Shen Jiu lets him go without protest, barely looking up from his new phone.
In his pocket, Shen Yuan’s own phone buzzes. He glances surreptitiously at Shen Jiu, who is not paying attention to him in the least, and slips it out to check his messages.
Xiu Ya: What did you do this time, hm?
Peerless Cucumber: I fucked with the wrong man.
Xiu Ya: Is there a right man to fuck with?
Peerless Cucumber: Shut up ಥ_ಥ I might actually die
Xiu Ya: Is it really that bad
Shen Yuan glances over at Shen Jiu, who is smirking at his phone. Yikes! Is he planning his next move on Shen Yuan?! Looking up murder methods? How to hide a body?
Peerless Cucumber: It’s pretty bad. I broke something of his.
Xiu Ya: Did you explain yourself?
Peerless Cucumber: Yes. And I apologized. It was an accident. I was texting you and wasn’t looking where I was going. But what if he, like, breaks my hands or something in retaliation??? Then I won’t be able to text you!!! 囧
Shen Jiu snorts across the room and Shen Yuan startles, resuming sweeping hurriedly. His phone buzzes again but he doesn’t dare take it out, not with the lion in the room with him. He empties the wastebasket and starts wiping the blackboard. Shen Jiu eventually puts his phone away, looking mildly surprised at the case and headphones that are also in the bag.
They work in silence around each other, neither encroaching on the other’s space. By the end, Shen Yuan’s nerves had relaxed enough that he felt like he could take a punch without crying. He places the broom back in the supply closet and Shen Jiu follows, keeping his body angled outward so his back is never to Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan shuffles awkwardly in place, taking out his phone nervously so Shen Jiu wouldn’t see him fidgeting.
Xiu Ya: If he breaks your hands, I’m making my way over there and breaking his face.
Xiu Ya: Don’t worry about it too much. I can talk later, I have to clean up. Call me if something happens. Stay safe.
Shen Yuan worries his bottom lip between his teeth and contemplates sending a good-bye text. Just in case his hands actually get hurt and he couldn’t talk to Xiu Ya for a while.
Shen Jiu grabs his bag and follows him out of the classroom. They stand in the empty hallway. Shen Yuan doesn’t know what to say.
“You know, I’m not—” Shen Jiu starts to say before cutting himself off. Shen Yuan trembles before his glare and surreptitiously types out a message to Xiu Ya so he doesn’t have to look him in the eyes.
Peerless Cucumber: This is it. I’m dead. I love you.
Shen Jiu’s new phone dings at him and he frowns, holding up a finger in front of Shen Yuan. He gets his phone out. Checks it. And flushes bright red.
“What—” he squawks, and nearly drops his new phone. Shen Yuan stares in awe. He’s never heard that noise come out of a person’s mouth before. “Cucum— what?!”
Shen Yuan whips his head up so fast he’s surprised he doesn’t break his own neck. “What did you just say?”
Shen Jiu covers his face with his hand, his other hand holding his new phone away from him as if it is a dirty sock he’s just discovered under his bed. Shen Yuan catches a flash of the screen. It’s only a few words… but it’s enough.
Peerless Cucumber: This is it. I’m dead. I love you.
I love you. I love— I love you. Peerless Cucumber?? That— that’s him! What is happening?!
“Xiu Ya?!” he blurts out, the words echoing down the hallway and reverberating in his ears like the world’s worst joke.
“What!” Shen Jiu squeaks, shoving his phone in his pocket and turning away, pressing his hands against his red cheeks.
“You’re Xiu Ya!” Shen Yuan says again, because he’s dumb. He’s so stupid. Did he get catfished? No, beyond that, did he just tell Shen Jiu that he loved him?!
“Stop!” Shen Jiu commands, his voice breaking on the word. Then he flushes even further and Shen Yuan sees a flash of teary eyes before Shen Jiu is running away. Literally sprinting down the hallway, full-tilt, no regard to the newly-waxed floors or Shen Yuan’s poor stamina.
“Wait!” he yells, and gives chase.
Shen Jiu is too fast, he’s already at the other end of the hallway before Shen Yuan can catch up. He turns a corner and disappears down a set of stairs. Shen Yuan pants at the top of the stairs before carefully making his way after him.
His phone buzzes. He clutches it with one hand.
Xiu Ya: ?
Xiu Ya: Are you just saying that?
Shen Yuan’s head pounds in time with his heart. He can’t keep up with these plot twists! God, author, someone! What does he say? He stands at the bottom of the stairs and contemplates his phone.
Peerless Cucumber: Shen Jiu?
An automated ding sounds around the corner.
Xiu Ya: How do you know my name?
This is it. He has to say it. Otherwise… otherwise, he doesn’t know what would happen and he doesn’t like any of the outcomes his mind is conjuring.
Peerless Cucumber: I’m Shen Yuan.
The ding this time is cut off, like Shen Jiu just remembered that the phone has a silenced setting. Then he hears a quiet “What?” from around the corner. Followed immediately by a louder “What?!” Shen Yuan stares at his phone, then at the corner where Shen Jiu is hiding. From him. Wait, something in this scenario seems wrong.
“Xiu- Shen Jiu?” he calls quietly, creeping closer to the corner. Why does it feel like he’s in a horror game about to get jumpscared by the final boss? Why is his online girlfriend a man? Why is Xiu Ya actually Shen Jiu IRL?!
“I am not saying your screen name out loud,” Shen Jiu’s voice comes from around the corner. Shen Yuan cringes and steps forward to face his doom. Just hopefully a different doom than the one he was expecting all day.
“I made it when I was twelve, I don’t know what you were expecting?” Shen Yuan defends automatically, the age-old argument he and Xiu Ya—he and Shen Jiu, apparently, what the fuck—got into every other week. “We’re not all literature aficionados like you are!”
“There are a million words you could have— No, I’m not getting into this right now.” Shen Jiu sighs, his face still bright red. He’s sitting on the floor, his knees up to his chest and his back against the wall. It doesn’t look anything like how Shen Yuan expected Shen Jiu to sit. He looks small there, sort of lonely. Maybe that’s what compels Shen Yuan to approach slowly and slide down the wall to sit next to him, their arms close but not touching. Just enough to feel each other’s body heat, if he concentrated.
“Why did you—” Shen Jiu starts before biting his lip. “Why would you tell Xiu Ya that you love them?”
“Because I do?” Shen Yuan answers thoughtlessly. Then he freezes when he remembers that Xiu Ya is Shen Jiu, he just confessed again, the fuck?! “I mean. Ah. I love my online girlfriend. I didn’t realize that she was—” you.
Shen Jiu is quiet. Shen Yuan shifts nervously, accidentally brushing their arms together. “Sorry! I know you don’t like being touched!”
Shen Jiu turns away from him. “So you remember that throw-away line from, what, last year? God, you’re pathetic. In love with someone you’ve never met! Ridiculous.”
“Hey,” Shen Yuan snaps. “Don’t be mean. I wasn’t the one who started flirting with someone online in the first place!”
“I wasn’t flirting!” Shen Jiu turns back to glare at him, his eyes still a little shiny. “I was asking for the URL of—”
“—that website, I remember! But you did all those… stupid, cute emojis? Why on earth would you send me cat gifs? And then expect me not to like you?” Shen Yuan glares right back. Because this isn’t just Shen Jiu, anymore. This is Xiu Ya. He knows Xiu Ya. And like Xiu Ya said, if Shen Yuan had gotten hurt then Xiu Ya would have broken the face of whoever hurt him. He doesn’t think Shen Jiu is the type of person to self-harm. He knows Xiu Ya’s not.
“What, so now you’re complaining about the cat gifs?” Shen Jiu sniffs, and pushes him. It’s not playful, exactly, but it’s not meant to hurt. So Shen Yuan lets himself fall over and groan dramatically. “Cut that out, I didn’t hurt you.”
“Right, because if you did you would jump to my defense as Xiu Ya?” Shen Yuan smirks over his shoulder, meeting Shen Jiu’s eyes. Then he stops, blinking. Was he just joking with Shen Jiu? That Shen Jiu, who he’d been worried would beat him up all day? But it seems so— so different now that he knew he was Xiu Ya. He knows Xiu Ya. Trusts her. Him. Whatever. Point is, suddenly he wasn’t afraid of Shen Jiu anymore.
Shen Jiu blinks back at him. It’s like he comes to the same conclusion because he curls his lips back at Shen Yuan—not in disdain, more in commiseration—and then looks at his phone. “Now I bet you would want to lose my number. That’s fine. I won’t mention anything if you won’t.” He sighs, leaning his head back against the wall. Shen Yuan swallows, watching the long column of his throat. Then his words hit.
“Hold on, when did I say I would block you?” Shen Yuan tilts his head, watching Shen Jiu’s eyes narrow and land on him.
“Isn’t that how this should go? I’m not who you thought I was. Then you block me, and we… break up online. And act like this never happened.” He closes his eyes, cutting off his dark gaze. Shen Yuan furrows his brow. That— that makes him sad. For some reason. He doesn’t like Shen Jiu’s plan.
“But… aren’t you Xiu Ya?” he asks softly. “The same Xiu Ya that helped me on raids? And forced me to study for Chinese? I got an A on my exam for the first time because of you, you know? You’re kind of mean… a little spiteful—okay, you’re really spiteful, don’t look at me like that because you told me so yourself that you run on spite and cup noodles! Which isn’t healthy, by the way, I got food poisoning one time because of that-!”
“Am I just supposed to sit here and let you insult me?” Shen Jiu says tiredly. “I’m sick of that. Say your piece and leave.”
“I wasn’t finished,” Shen Yuan tells him. “You’re intimidating, but you’re also really… safe. Protective. You told me not too long ago that you would break someone’s face for me. You’re loyal, and funny when you want to be, and kind of inhumanly pretty, and super, super intelligent. You’re so smart I feel like I’m talking to a wise immortal instead of a high school student. You’re just… impressive. Very. So, yeah.” Shen Yuan shrugs and starts to get up, his knees cracking embarrassingly loud. Fuck he feels so old. “That’s what I wanted to say. I’ll leave you alone now.”
His arm is caught before he can get far. Shen Jiu is holding onto his hand, grasping at it with the grip of a drowning victim. “You— can’t just say that!” His face is very red again. “How do you— what?!”
Shen Yuan smiles at him. He left Shen Jiu speechless. That doesn’t happen often. “I’m not going to block your number. The rest is up to you.”
Shen Jiu’s grip loosens enough that he can slide his hand out. He can’t do anything at this point but leave, otherwise it would be too awkward to face him the next day. That’s still up in the air, actually—once he has time to sit down and think about this new revelation, panic and freak out a little, the whole drill, he might just want to change his name and move to a different country. But that’s for future Shen Yuan.
As he gets into the car and the chauffeur starts driving him home, taking his silence to mean he doesn’t want to talk, Shen Yuan gets a text.
Xiu Ya: I’m getting online tonight. See you there?
Shen Yuan smiles down at his screen.
Peerless Cucumber: Send coordinates (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ
Xiu Ya: I will.
Xiu Ya: A-Yuan.