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The loud bang of the door to the boy’s locker room caused the steady drone of conversation to suddenly and decisively cut short. Kaminari looked past the row of lockers and felt concern fill his gut as he saw Shinsou. His brows furrowed and his head dropped to stare at his boots, the purple-haired future hero still wore his hero costume, his capture weapon still looped around his neck.
The rest of the class had been dismissed a while ago, long enough that most everyone had finished showering and were now pulling on their uniforms for the hike back to the dorm. Not Shinsou. He’d had a rough go while battling head to head with Awase who had been smart enough to weld his mouth shut at the start of the match, making Shinsou’s brain-washing quirk unusable. Add that to a lousy day using his capture weapon and he had decisively lost the match-up. As Aizawa dismissed the rest of the class, he’d beckoned Shinsou to stay. Kaminari had tried to shoot him a sympathetic look, but Shinsou had kept his gaze fixed on the ground then as well.
“Denks! You ready?” Kirishima shouted, and Shinsou's head snapped in the blonde’s direction, catching Kaminari as he stared at him.
He could feel the heat rising up his chest and cheeks as Shinsou’s eyes locked with his, but he recognized someone who needed a friend. And they were friends, right? He’d been trying to be his friend since Shinsou tried out for the hero course, and when he had joined their class, Kaminari was eager to introduce him to everyone and make sure he was okay. Now that they were in their third year, he was no longer needed for that kind of thing, although without him pulling Shinsou from his room, the introvert would probably stay in there as much as possible. “Uh, I have to finish up,” Kaminari finally responded. “You guys go ahead without me.”
Shinsou pushed against the surge of boys leaving the locker room, moving to stand in front of his assigned locker. He opened it and pulled his uniform out, stripping the undershirt he wore under his hero costume off and throwing it into his duffle bag that sat open on the floor. Kaminari moved towards him and sat on the bench after he pulled his jacket over his shoulders, his hands fiddling with the strap of his bag. “Don’t stick around on my account,” Shinsou finally mumbled.
“I want to,” Kaminari replied, his words always truthful when he talked to Shinsou. He wanted to say it was because he was an honest guy, but in reality, he worried that Shinsou could somehow tell he was lying with his quirk. “You not showering?” Kaminari asked as Shinsou yanked his gray uniform pants up and buttoned them.
Shinsou shook his head. “I’ll do it back at the dorms. I just…I need to get out of here.”
Kaminari hummed in agreement as he stood and faced Shinsou. “Listen, man,” he started, his eyes trailing over Shinsou’s figure. “Everyone has shit days. You’ve seen plenty of mine. Fuck, I failed spectacularly against Shiozaki at our first Sports Festival, and I know you saw that. Then I fucked up in almost the exact same way with Komori during second year. It sucks, but you’re amazing. Always have been.”
Slamming the door to his locker, Shinsou stood shirtless in front of Kaminari. His violet eyes caught golden ones as he let out a sigh. “Tell that to Aizawa. Fuck, I hate letting him down after he’s done so much for me. He probably thinks all of my training has been a huge waste of his time. Maybe they were right when I got rejected from the hero program the first time. I’m not good enough for this.”
Without thinking, Kaminari felt himself stepping forward into Shinsou’s personal space. His throat went dry as he held his gaze, urging himself not to glimpse over the pale skin of his arms and chest, to not admire the biceps that had grown over the past few years, to not fixate on the cherry lips of his mouth. In reality, he didn’t need to look as he caught himself staring more often than he should, whether they were getting ready to go down to the store, changing in the locker room, or hanging out in one of their rooms. He had the lines of Shinsou memorized.
Kaminari spent a lot of time with Shinsou. At first, he was excited to have a new friend. He quickly realized that what he felt around him didn’t stop at friendship. Shaking his head slightly to refocus, he reminded himself that wasn’t what was important right now. Shinsou was busy beating himself up, and he needed to stop that assault.
“Listen, I know I’m not that guy-the one that’s super serious about pep talks and works hard to make sure everyone’s alright. That’s probably more Kiri, or even Mina. But…I don’t like hearing you talk about yourself like that. Like I said, I think you’re fucking amazing. From when I saw you use your quirk at the Sports Fest first year, and every time since I’ve just been fucking astonished by you. Plus you can fight and use that scarf that pretty much no one else can figure out…you had an off day. Even All-Might had off days. Shit, even Aizawa had off days. That just means you’re human, man,” Kaminari rambled, his eyes moving off Shinsou’s as he tried to speak seriously, tried to avoid the jokes that he wanted to make, mostly at his own expense. He wanted Shinsou to know that he really thought of him as incredible, but it was difficult to find the right words.
Silence filled the room, and finally, Kaminari looked at Shinsou, his tired eyes suddenly bright as he stared at him. His breath was heavy as he studied Kaminari’s face, almost as if he was seeing him for the first time. Stepping forward more, Kaminari’s eyes traced Shinsou’s jaw, purple stubble barely peeking out for him to see. They were close enough to one another that all he needed to do was lean forward just a bit more and he could press his lips to Shinsou’s. His eyes stopped on the chapped, red lips that were in front of him. Subconsciously, his tongue slid over his own lower lip. He felt the brush of Shinsou’s fingers on the back of his palm, and his eyes moved back up to Shinsou’s. Kaminari swallowed a gasp as he realized he’d never been this close to him before, and the eyes he peered into were now sparkling like amethysts. The crappy florescent light danced in them before they shifted from his, and slid down to Denki’s mouth. His heart thudding in his chest, Kaminari admonished himself for losing sight of what his end goal was. But his heart pushed him forward. His nose brushed against Shinsou’s as he held his breath, ready to press the kiss he’d so often dreamed of onto his friend’s lips.
A loud bang caused Shinsou to jump back, which in turn made Kaminari stumble. His heart no longer just pounded in his chest, instead, his pulse thudded through his ears as his excitement and anxiousness turned to dread as he realized whatever almost happened was not right, it wasn’t what the other boy could possibly want. He snatched his bag, the urge to get away from Shinsou overwhelming him as he took off down the aisle and out of the locker room.
***
Shinsou stood motionless as he watched Kaminari hustle away, all words lost as his brain tried to understand what had just happened. He didn’t hear Sero come up behind him, and when he spoke, he jumped slightly in surprise. “Hey man, you okay?” the tall, dark-haired hero asked.
Turning to look at him, Shinsou’s eyebrows furrowed. Was he okay? “I…I’m not sure.”
“You and Denks have a fight or something? He seemed upset when I passed him on his way out,” Sero continued.
Shinsou had made a promise to himself that he didn’t need friends when he joined the hero course, but the two that made him break that promise were Kaminari and Sero. Plus, he felt like he needed help in an effort to understand what had just happened. “Sero, does…does Kaminari…does he…” He mumbled through his words, finally saying, “I thought Kaminari was straight.”
He watched as Sero’s eyebrows shot up, his face showing obvious shock. “I don’t know if that’s my place to say. I know you guys are tight, so why don’t you ask him?” Turning away, Sero opened his locker and grabbed his phone that he must have accidentally left behind. “Seriously, dude, it’s not something that I can talk to you about, but I think you really need to find Denks.” Shinsou frowned while he thought, but nodded in agreement before he moved to finish getting dressed.
When he was done, and Sero was long gone, Shinsou was still confused. He dropped to a seat on the bench and stared in front of him. His mind still tried to process everything that happened. Was his best friend ready to kiss him? What did that mean? Did Denki find out about Shinsou’s feelings? Was he just trying to make him feel better about the bad session he had? Waves and waves of turmoil washed over him, the possibility of something happening between them a small hope that was drowned out.
There had always seemed to be an edge of pain in every part of Shinsou’s life. He’d wanted a quirk, but the one he had labeled him a villain and wasn’t able to get him into the hero program. He’d wanted to be in the hero program, but had to do extensive additional training when others just walked in and were accepted. He wanted to be in love, but he’d fallen for his straight friend, or at least the friend he’d been so sure was straight. Sero’s response made him wonder, but he tried to push that possibility away. Kaminari knew Shinsou was pan, he was sure of it, but they’d never talked about it. With Kaminari’s comments and flirtations with so many girls, he assumed that he was straight. He felt ridiculous assuming, though, when people did the same thing with him and he despised it.
Pulling himself to his feet, Shinsou grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder before walking to the door to the locker room. Under other circumstances, he’d laugh at himself for thinking he had a choice about what to do. He knew himself, and just because an obstacle like fear stood in his way, that didn’t mean he’d give up. He couldn’t give up on the hope blooming in his chest, that like becoming a hero, he could have this too.
***
Kaminari sat in his room, staring at the television, not watching whatever show was filling the screen. He didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t seen Shinsou all evening by hiding in his room and eating a few granola bars and some other snacks instead of forcing himself to join his class in the dining area. He couldn’t do that forever; he knew that, but he was so embarrassed by his actions that he needed to take some time and think.
Now he sat, thoughts bouncing around his brain like the stupid rubber balls people can get from gashapons. He couldn’t seem to grab ahold of one for too long before it was knocked free and another thought took its place. Did Shinsou despise him? Would they ever be friends again? Maybe Shinsou would be willing to actually kiss him, just to see what it was like? How could he ever consider himself good enough to be with someone as intense and beautiful and amazing as Shinsou? Thoughts had been ping-ponging for over an hour, and all he was left with was a headache and some extreme bipanic. He groaned and flopped onto his pillow where he buried his face.
A knock came from the door a moment later and, figuring it was Mina again, he hollered, “Go away!” He waited for her response; she’d been trying to get him to talk since she’d seen him bolt upstairs and into his room, but none came. Another knock came and he grunted in frustration. “Mina! I said I don’t want to talk! Go away!” he yelled again. When a third knock came, he huffed and sat up, stalking towards the door and yanking it open, prepared to tell her off. Instead, he was met with bright lavender eyes and a puff of wild, violet hair.
Shinsou stood awkwardly in the door, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he waited for Kaminari to say something. His tired eyes stayed on him, trailing over his lithe and strong body, admiring his soft, blonde hair that was yanked into a messy bun, his eyes golden but ringed in red from tears. Kaminari moved to the side and swept his arm slightly in a gesture that invited Shinsou in.
“We’ve got to talk,” Shinsou started, his deep voice cracking slightly as he urged himself not to panic. Kaminari nodded mutely, then sat down on his bed, and looked up at Shinsou who stood uncomfortably in front of him.
Kami could feel the familiar burning in his eyes as he started to speak. “I’m sorry, man. I’m so sorry,” his voice broke slightly and he clamped his eyes shut, causing tears to overflow.
“I get it. I know you were just trying to make me feel better. But you can’t do that, Denks. I don’t know…” Shinsou stopped to gather his feelings before he continued. “I don’t know how you became aware of my feelings for you, but I’ve accepted that you're straight, and it wouldn’t happen. Stuff like before just makes it harder.”
A few seconds of silence ticked by, and then a few more. Shinsou waited for Kaminari to say something, but when he spoke, it was a simple, “What?”
“Before, in the locker room. I know you were just trying to help me because you were worried about me, and-” Shinsou said, gritting his teeth as humiliation rose up his throat and closed it up.
“That’s not what happened. Not at all. And for the record, I’m not straight,” Kaminari said. Shinsou looked over and found his eyebrows furrowed and his gaze fixed on something on the carpet in front of them.
It was Shinsou’s turn to blurt out a confused, “What?” His mind reeled but grabbed on to three words Kaminari said. “You’re not straight?”
Kaminari laughed, but there was no joy in it. “No man. I figured that out pretty quickly after you joined our class second-year. I’m bi.”
Turning to examine him more closely, Shinsou stared at Kaminari. “What does me joining the class have to do with it?” he asked.
“Because I’ve had a crush on you since you came over to the hero course. Probably since the first Sports Festival, to be honest. I just didn’t really know how to admit it to myself. Either way, I’ve had feelings for you for a while now,” Kaminari returned miserably, his cheeks colored pink as he continued to move his eyes around the room and avoid his friend’s gaze.
Silence lay on top of them for a while. Each boy seemed anxious to speak next, and both battled their thoughts as they tried to figure out what to say or do. Finally, Shinsou spoke. “You should probably start calling me Hitoshi, alright?”
“Why?” Denki asked, the topic change causing a bit of bewilderment on his part.
“Because,” Hitoshi replied, “I’m pretty sure when people are dating they call their partner by their first names.” Denki’s eyes widened as he turned towards Shinsou who reached over and slid his rough fingers across Kaminari’s palm, twining them with his.
“Shinsou,” Kaminari began, causing Shinsou to interrupt with a tsk. “I mean, Hitoshi, I don’t know if that’s the best idea. I like you, so much, but I meant it when I called you amazing. And honestly, I’m just someone who struggles to control their quirk, makes inappropriate jokes, is probably too loud, and is kind of stupid. I'm not...on your level, I mean.”
Shinsou shook his head, a small smile on his lips. He made sure Kaminari stopped what he was saying before he replied. “You’re plenty smart. You make me laugh, too. And you’re gaining so much control over your quirk. You’re always there to help people out, with big things like meeting new people and small things like charging someone’s phone. Yeah, you have bad days, but what’d you tell me? So does everyone. And honestly, there’s so much I love about you, have always loved about you, that the other stuff seems so small.”
“You love me?” Kaminari asked, his gaze straying from their linked hands up to Shinsou’s eyes.
It was clear that the word love had just slipped out of Hitoshi’s mouth, but Kaminari looked hopeful, and Shinsou felt his heart squeeze in the best of ways. “Yeah, Denki. I do.”
Kaminari stared at Shinsou like he was eclipsing every thought he’d ever had, his mouth touching Shinsou’s moments later. He was clearly hesitant at first. The kiss was just a feather-light brush, but when Shinsou didn’t pull away, his lips connected more fully. He swallowed a groan as Shinsou responded, the lightly chapped lips and coffee scent he carried invading his senses and driving him insane. He couldn’t hold back the whimper he felt when Hitoshi unthreaded his fingers from his, but he moved his hands to thread through the surprisingly soft purple hair that already stuck out wildly.
Denki’s tongue slid in between Shinsou’s slightly parted lips, and the blonde couldn’t stifle his groan any longer. This was everything he’d imagined it would be. Their tongues moved back and forth, tasting one another carefully, before Shinsou finally let out a growl. His hands had landed softly on Kaminari’s hips, but now he moved them under his ass and lifted him effortlessly into his lap. Denki deepened their kiss, a zap of uncontrolled electricity shooting out and shocking Shinsou, causing him to jump back slightly in surprise.
“Sorry,” Kaminari muttered, clearly embarrassed.
Wide, bright yellow eyes met sparkling purple ones as Denki gazed down at Hitoshi who had just positioned Denki’s legs on either side of him. “It’s okay,” Shinsou replied, his voice thick. They gazed at one another before Shinsou wrapped his arms around Kaminari and pulled him closer, kissing him breathless again. Finally, they settled against one another, Shinsou’s back against the wall while Kaminari was snuggled in his lap, his nose pressed against Shinsou’s warm neck. Hitoshi stroked his arm lightly; he enjoyed watching goosebumps burst in the wake of his touch. “Love you, Denks,” he mumbled softly.
“Love you too, Toshi,” Kaminari replied with a contented sigh. A few short moments later, Kaminari yanked back, a look of complete and utter fear on his face.
Shinsou grabbed his waist to stabilize him, his own look full of alarm. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his own panic rising.
“Aizawa is going to kill me. There’s no way he thinks I’m good enough for you, so don’t even try to convince me,” Kaminari replied, his voice shaky and fearful.
He tried to swallow the laughter that bubbled up inside him, but Shinsou just couldn’t. “You’re adorable,” he said as he leaned forward slightly so he could press a kiss to Kaminari’s jaw. Denki’s back was still stiff as Hitoshi worked his way down his throat, landing open mouthed kisses on his skin.
“This isn’t a laughing matter,” the blonde mumbled which caused more chuckles from Shinsou.
“I don’t know, Denks. You might be surprised at how much Aizawa can relate to my feelings about a loud and obnoxious extroverted blonde,” Shinsou replied with a grin before focusing on kissing him again.