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“You know,” she begins quietly, without lifting her head from his chest (she doesn’t want to disturb the peace they have finally found), “I was terrified to tell you how I felt before.” Emma doesn’t bother explaining what exactly she means by ‘before’. She has finally made her way back to herself after weeks of drowning in the darkness. At this point, she would like nothing more than to move past that and forget her brief stint as the dark one—as well as all the pain she has caused those around her—ever happened. Falling into bed with her pirate was definitely a good start; she doesn’t think her heart has ever felt warmer than it does in this moment, snuggled up against him, her arms wrapped around him and his around her.
He pulls her just a little bit closer into his side, his nose pressing into the hair at the crown of her head and his legs tangling with hers (they both seem to have the desire to twine themselves together after their prolonged separation). “And why is that? You couldn’t have thought I didn’t feel the same way.”
She smiles and tilts her face up to him, meeting his lips in a soft kiss. “No, you made your feelings fairly clear from the beginning.” She thinks about his ‘until I met you’ declaration and the ‘when I win your heart’ speech all the way back in Neverland. There was never a doubt in her mind that Killian Jones returned her feelings for him—even when she was too afraid to admit to herself there were feelings to be returned.
“Then what caused your fear?” he asks gently, his hand drawing soft patterns on her bare shoulder.
Emma sighs. “I haven’t had a lot of luck with those words in the past. Ingrid told me about the whole Savior thing after I told her I loved her. So I ran away because she sounded completely crazy, and of course only a crazy person would want to adopt me. The first time I told a man I loved him, he promptly sent me off to prison to serve time for his own crimes.” She feels him stiffen under her, so she softly wraps a hand around his forearm and squeezes it reassuringly. There’s absolutely no point in him feeling vengeful for the past actions of a now dead man. “The next time I told someone I loved them, it was Henry.” She feels Killian’s cheek lift in time with her own nostalgic smile as he smiles into her hair. “That obviously has turned out okay for me. And so has my relationship with my parents, barring any bumps along the way. But then there was the whole Walsh fiasco. And I know things with you are different than they were with him. Or Neal. But it doesn’t change that I have a pretty shitty track record in the love department. Especially where romantic love is concerned.”
Killian tilts his face down to press his lips against her fingers that are now tracing along his collarbone. “I understand you have a rather rocky history in the way of love. But I intend to turn that around.”
She tilts her head towards his and takes in the honesty of his expression, which she’s used to by now. “I know you do,” she says with a small grin. “And I knew that then. I’ve always trusted you with my heart. I’m just not sure I know how to do all of… this. As embarrassing as it is for a thirty-year-old woman to admit this, I haven’t had a real serious, adult relationship. And I was, am,” she corrects herself, “afraid I’m going to mess it up somehow. That’s what I was afraid of. Never you.”
“You were never afraid of me?” He repeats with mock incredulity, effectively lightening the mood. “I am a fearsome pirate, Swan. I take great offense to that.”
She smirks and pinches him between his ribs in response, making him squirm a bit. “You know what I mean. But if it would make you feel better, I’ll tell you upon our first meeting, you were dastardly and very intimidating.”
He shrugs and tangles his fingers through her hair. “I suppose I didn’t try very hard to intimidate you. ”
She chuckles at the memory of climbing up the beanstalk with him. “Not so much. Between asking about my romantic history and seductively tying a scarf around my hand with your mouth, you seemed to have things other than intimidation on your mind.”
“Seductively? So you were affected by that,” he says triumphantly.
She lightly smacks his chest to stop his preening. “Of course I was affected by that, I’m merely human.”
“Well you’re right. I was a bit more interested in knowing what made the gorgeous, fiery, sharp blonde woman tick than I was in scaring her. Can you blame me?”
She responds by nipping at the skin on his collarbone laughing when he jumps a bit.
“Oh you’ll pay for that, love.” He uses their entwined legs as leverage to flip her over so she is pinned beneath him and traps her arms on the bed with his forearms. He buries his face in her neck, rubbing the scruff on his jaw into her skin.
Emma squeals and giggles in response. She kind of hates that she becomes a squealing, giggling teenage girl around him. But she also loves that she’s happy enough to be that way. “Killian, stop,” she says breathlessly, “that tickles.”
He runs his nose along the now beard-burned area and presses his lips against her neck before drawing back to lock eyes with her. “ I was under the impression we were dueling,” he says with a smirk, leaning down and capturing her lips with his. Their mouths move together slowly, very much unlike the moment they fell into bed together at the start of the evening.
“I love you,” she says with a sure smile as they pull apart, her cheeks rosy from the laughter and kissing.
“I’ve loved you always,” he answers, leaning down once more to press a kiss to Emma’s nose before rolling off of her and tucking her back into his side. “Don’t worry about messing things up between us, love. I want this too much to let you. We’ll figure it out as we go along, alright?”
She sighs into his neck and presses her lips against his pulse point . “Alright.”