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“So what will it be: Take the weight of a Timekeeper to end Ephemer’s suffering? Or follow through with your own fate to reset the cycle?”
My gaze rose to face the apparition of death. It awaits my next move, sitting by the floral vine that sowed the still breathing fountain of the garden. Then I returned my gaze to the sun embedded locket that chains around my neck.
“There’s no way to break the cycle?”
“Not in a way that couldn’t cause greater consequences.” It said, leaning forward resting its chin on the palm of its hand, “While a future may be less displeasing, dissonance from the original timeline will only catch up to that future and everything starts over. You can never escape the cycle. And each time you travel back—“
“Tabuu will only grow stronger…”
“Correct.” It nodded, “The only way it can grow weaker is if there is less dissonance, but in order to prevent it …”
“Our memories of our trauma will have to be erased… contaminated..”
Into one single locket.
“And the emotions associated with those memories.” It added, changing sitting position with one leg crossed above its thigh.
While it would seem to be the only option that would make Tabuu manageable, that would also mean erasing all of Dharkon’s efforts to help everyone remember the Keyblade War. That would mean Galeem will be trapped in endless eternity. Will we even remember Tabuu’s existence at all if we’d just … forget everything? The price to comply with what the Masters had wished for us bears a price just as heavy as if we continue to defy it.
But the longer we defy the stronger Tabuu will be,
and the each time the clock turns back… Memories of the previous timeline will only be remembered by the current Timekeeper: Ephemer and it would be his duty alone to try again, despite a foreseen failure. I held the locket close to my chest, to feel the only thing that kept me alive. The only thing that hadn’t been taken from me. While almost everything of me wasn’t real… one thing hadn’t been lost. Would I still feel it through scraps of metal?
Death’s attention appealed to me as always before I faced it directly,
“… I don’t want to be a Timekeeper, nor do I want to comply to my original fate.” My gaze hardened with determination, I then said,
“But I need a share of your power to give me only one chance to travel back in time.”
“Oh?”
“It would be easier said if I were to become a Timekeeper, that way if I mess up I could just try again but,” My fingers tightened around the locket, “The past is meant to be remembered, not forgotten — not rewritten. Our future depends on how much we remember the mistakes of eras before us; including our own.”
“But that would mean Tabuu will — again, grow stronger the more we remember the agony we’ve gone through.”
“But neither can we erase what makes us human!” I looked back up to Morpheus, “The Scions of the Seventh Dawn, the Starscourge, the Daybringers, heroes and legends before us didn’t create a future where their efforts to bring us here will be forgotten. What will happen if we’d just forgotten what they’d learned in the past?! If we continue to look away from what they left behind for us the same mistakes they’ve made will repeat for the worse! The cycle will keep on going if we continue to confide ourselves in a locket!
We will never really see tomorrow! We will never remember yesterday!”
Finally finding the words to truly tell what was engraved deep down, I wasn’t aware that there were tears running down and my voice choked up in them.
“… The only way to break the cycle is to forge ahead with today’s imperfections … for the moon to prune our dreams as yesterday into the sun’s rising tomorrow.”
“But what if the rising tomorrow wasn’t as perfect as yesterday?”
“For better or worse, while no tomorrow is perfect … we have to live.” I looked down to the flowers, their petals taking empathy to my tears. Of which one flower began to shift color.
“… We have to…” I whispered. “Or else what would this life mean if we throw it away? How long until we could really live again? How much would we miss if we were to be born again? Can it truly be better than the previous?
There’s always time to rise up again, to try again without turning the clock back. Darkness is born apart of us, but there is an undying light that we can reawaken.”
He didn’t question me this time, allowing me to continue as he faced the opposite of me.
“… If…”
I took a deep breath, shutting my eyes to let the last of my tears fall to the flowers — warm of fluorescent pink, blooming rose cherries. The winds brushing away with soft grace,
“… If I had the strength to take another step, I would do it.”
“Another step where?”
“Forward.”
“What would be waiting ahead of you?”
I gave it a thought, reminiscing about what could be waiting for me.
Which turned out to be many, you see. There were more cherished memories in the bleak of what awaited us than the last time I tried to recall. We spent those days having the most fun — giving ourselves a purpose, the will to live young and free. We spent those days reclaiming what had been taken from us: our childhood, our innocence, our dreams — parts of us that made us who we are individually; what made us human.
We spent those days loving one another, and ourselves.
Love. That was the scent the flowers gave, the warmth that cradled me subconsciously,
the motivation and reason for Ephemer to keep me alive. Beginning from the shores towards the stars beyond.
… I don’t understand. I want to understand.
I still held to the locket even then, holding onto it now. My thumb complacent at the pad that would unlock it.
“… Whatever was inside the locket.” I answered. “I don’t know what’s in there, what it would mean to me. But there is one thing I know, and it’s the reason why I’m still alive.”
Even with all of that in mind, death acted nonchalant with a scoff. He turned to me with sarcastic amusement, one that could be associated with a dismissive shrug which he surprisingly did not do. His presence drawing near I opened my eyes to see his arm extended to me, Morpheus staring down at me as he awaited for me to take it.
“Once again you prove yourself to defy Me.” I could hear that he was … impressed?
“However, a share of my power to an astral like you will weigh you — as always, a price to pay. But we can talk about that after.”
“W… Why not now?” I asked. It was really strange for Morpheus to keep the monkey’s paw of this choice while he’d told the other two.
“Well you want me to regret it?” He asked with a grin, nearly menacing.
“Then let the unknown be an unknown until we get through today.”
That’s when it clicked for me. Morpheus doesn’t know the price itself, but he was sure there was a risk if not more that could await me. One neither fate and death itself could predict, but one I wouldn’t not overcome.
“… Right.” After that realization I nodded, reaching out to Morpheus’s hand before he added—
“And as promised, you will have only one chance for this. Pretty reasonable since Tabuu will be at its strongest. Make it count.”
“… Was.. that the price?”
“Nah! Just an fyi.” His face beamed, “I’ve told you that the amount of time loops equates to fodders of Tabuu’s power. Your rewind essentially counts as a dissonance … perhaps the strongest that could enchant it. Should you fail, I wouldn’t be able to help you out at that point again.”
He did have a point. That’s why it’s now or never.
“… I understand.” I said, taking Morpheus’s hand.
“Thank you…”
The garden began to shiver in the breeze, fluttering asunder as the dreams began to envelop me, “If you need a push, I’ll be right behind you, Sen.”
Well he’s essentially doing that now by pushing me out of this dream to another. But I appreciated nonetheless, for he was talking just like Chirithy. I hope to see him again in another dream after this.
Groggily I rose up, taking in the cold air and sighing as I checked the time. Late 30 pass 6 in the morning. The time was familiar, and so was the day in the calendar: 11/13. This was a month before the Keyblade War. Chirithy supposedly was on the stool next to me to greet me in a morning chime but instead… Instead I was met with an empty bedroom. Only for the clock itself to echo the words of the past to familiarize myself.
“Poyo!”
Well, with one exception of course. I was never truly alone, was I? Not while the sound of a little friend who urges me to open the fridge at 6:30 in the morning wakes me. Kirby was supposed to be asleep at this time, but I guess time doesn’t affect him or the people of his kind.
I lifted the blanket off myself and rolled off the edge of the bed, lazily brushing my bed hair as I made a quick stop to the kitchen to open it for Kirby to grab a quick snack.
…
I didn’t even notice Kirby wasn’t shouting for food. He was shouting for help as he trapped himself in the fridge. How did he even open the fridge?
I couldn’t help but chuckle, it didn’t seem like he was in there for too long luckily as when I picked him up while he was taking a bite of a whole salami he was still warm. Even then if he was freezing in there he would’ve had the copy ability of Frost to keep himself warm.
I set him down, continuing on to the entrance of my complex.
“Poyo poyo!”
I stopped and avert my attention to Kirby again. He was following me.
… and something wretched to me. Remembering Chirithy…
“No.” I said, “Stay here.”
“Poyo!” He protested.
“I said no, Kirby.” I insisted, “I… I have to do this on my own.”
As if we hadn’t faced any unknowns as close to an primordial ultimatum itself…
The moment his expression saddened, I turned away. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to move along. Surely, it was unfair for me to force Kirby to stay out of my way. We’d faced greater threats in the land of dreams together, yet this was one exception — which to my own logic makes sense because this was something I have to confront to myself.
… but if Chirithy were still here, they’d argue.
My aimless gaze to the door fell to the floor, then slowly back to Kirby.
“… Kirb..” Approaching my small friend, I knelt to one knee as this was the best I could to be closest to his height.
“… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” My smile grew naturally as Kirby looked up to me. Yet, my worry still remained as I averted my eyes, “I just … don’t want to lose you like how I lost Chirithy.”
I held to my chest where my heart was supposed to be, but this heart was a ‘core’ of a mimeosome that holds data of me. Chirithies are bound to the heart of their wielders, but never the hearts that replicate what was once real.
Kirby is no Chirithy — or a bounded spirit, but he is someone I couldn’t afford to be separated from. Loneliness was the dread that plagued Nil to begin with, and if Kirby and Nil— Popopo, were of the same kind … I wouldn’t want Kirby to fall to the same fate they had faced all those eons.
“I don’t know what’s beyond that door. This might be the last time we’ll see each other again, but until then… you’ll have my back right?”
He didn’t say anything yet, but he approached closer to me and with his little arms, as surprised as I was, clung to me for a hug.
“… Poyo! Poyo!”
Of course he would still stay by my side.
I hugged him back, holding him in my arms as I got up and faced the door out of my room once more.
“… We’ll go together.” I said, as Kirby then climbed to my shoulder.
My hand on the doorknob, I turned it open. The wind greeting the two of us to a sentimental breeze pervading the air with the scent of autumn and the upcoming winter. I shielded the daybreak sun with one arm, as my vision readjusted from the gloom of my bedroom to the vibrant rise of lavender, warm colors that decorated the world that I called home.
“Poyo!” I heard Kirby eagerly say as he pointed to the still running fountain — a landmark to Daybreak Town. It was the place where the Unchained officiated itself as a team, the place where I could sit down after a mission to chat with Chirithy and Kirby … and of course it was Kirby’s favorite place to swim.
Then I also remembered, specifically on this day.
We may not be in the same Union, but we're friends, right? Let's meet tomorrow at Fountain Square. How about noon?
… This was when Ephemer broke his promise. Why did Morpheus bring me earlier than Noon though? To give me enough time?
“Nini-poyo!” I felt Kirby tug at the collar of my shirt, fixating my attention to where he was pointing again. While not the fountain it was the alleyway ahead of us.
“… You want me to go there?” I asked.
“Poyo.” He said, while nodding.
What did Kirby even see? I couldn’t doubt him nonetheless, since I trusted him — save it that his airheadedness can lead us to revolutionary danger, this wouldn’t be a possibility. Least I hope it isn’t.
Daybreak Town was … quiet. Awfully too quiet. I could only hear my footsteps, my breathing. This silence was something Kirby could fall asleep to.
This wasn’t the Daybreak Town I remembered at all. If there was a hint of life, it would be me, Kirby and … well the flora and animals that would saunter by.
But where were my neighbors? Where were wandering wielders and mercenaries alike that I would see from the window of my bedroom? There were voices, there was ambience. There were restaurants, markets and other kinds of hospitality that brought more life to Daybreak Town.
Kirby tugged at me again, which I stopped as if he were commanding my movements through simple touch. I looked to him, and to where his eyes wandered to.
The underground waterway. If I recall correctly, this led to the Foreteller’s chambers. Ephemer and I once went here to investigate his suspicions of the Unions, tracing back what could’ve possibly led to Daybreak Town’s fountain of dreams to stop its flow.
… Though, at this time when I traveled, the fountain was working. It seemed like it had always been. Unless it’s another trick of memory left from the dreams tampered by Chirithy and the Dandelions upon entering the land of dreams.
Pulled away from my thoughts I noticed a shadow of a figure submerging from the bridge’s. I approached closer to the edge, my hands on the rails.
It was no one other than Ephemer, passing through the divided path of the waterway and into the tunnel. The back view of his person immediately sank into the darkness of the tunnel leaving me to process the wave of his red scarf into memory.
“Eph!” I shouted, though he didn’t seem to hear. Immediately my instincts rang to chase after him, hopping over the bridge — without a warning for Kirby, to which he braced himself by clinging onto me as I landed; knees buckled. Despite the soreness in recuperation I pushed my legs to work under pressure, stammering in a few steps before I completely rebalanced and entered the tunnel.
Entering the underground waterway, I wasn’t able to see Ephemer. My only waypoints that could keep me from bumping into walls and pitfalls were dimly lit lamps that shone only bits and pieces of the floor within its small radius. Kirby immediately acted upon my stead, approaching the nearest lamp which he tore from the wall before gulping it down. His body stretched into a lamp itself. With his strength he was able to light up more within a greater radius for me as he returned to his comfort spot around my shoulder. The timing is immaculate enough to prevent disrupting my focus on my search. He decided to help out as well, giving his line of sight was probably better than mine…
Between the working gears, the two of us spotted twin tails of a scarf twirling to a sharp turn straight ahead of us. Upon the third loop I rushed in and ducked to slide through the upcoming gap, holding to the sharp edge of the wall which Ephemer turned through. I hastily got up, seeing that he was still at my line of sight. The corridor ahead had no obstacles, I could reach him. Thus I made chase, exerting my legs past its limit of speed that it could bring. He was so close yet this world continues in keeping us at unreachable distances, where only our eyes could really connect.
I remembered now, and figured why Morpheus had taken me back at an earlier time before noon.
This was the time Ephemer had lied to me, where I had waited the whole day for him, when all this time he was gone. From this world and to the land of dreams.
… Why though?
Ephemer had whispered something that I couldn’t hear, but it didn’t matter … did it? If I was closer would I hear what he’d hidden from me?
How much did he hide? How far did he keep his distance from me?
Before he could take a further step through that gear which wheeled at the ticking clock — I grabbed him — grabbed his wrist that held his keyblade. With my other hand I held to the
decorative rails of the walkway for support, as my legs were shaking from overexertion. I felt him flinch, nearly pulling back before he turned around and saw me,
“… Nico?”
Was this Ephemer aware of this rewind? Would it even matter? Maybe he did, our hearts were connected after all… even if we can’t share our memories, the sentiment of it will ripple.
The moment I caught my breath, I lifted my gaze up to him. My expression twisted, sick, devastated would be the right word.
“… You…” Yet I couldn’t really find the words that would make sense to him. They were choked up in boiled, nameless emotions that were incomprehensible to me … but were ready to burst out.
So I did.
“…YOU FUCKING LIAR!” I heard myself shout, there was a tonal break — an obvious paint of sadness that could overflow at any second. But this color was also drenched with … anger, with denial, with insecurities that have heightened, with questions that I pleaded to be answered. My body moved on its own accordance to how these emotions want to convey themselves. I pushed him down hearing him winced. It hurts. The both of us were hurt. The forced push imbalanced Kirby off my shoulder, he landed somewhere nearby … the glass of the lamp shattering as the light gave its last nova.
I realized I was on top of him. Ephemer looked up to me, almost mortified at my sudden resentment. He tried to get me off of him,
“… N-Nico?! What’s gotten into you—“
“SHUT UP!” I heard myself yell again, pushing him back down, “JUST TELL ME WHY?!” Why was I yelling so much? My intent wasn’t to scare him… does he know that? “WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?!”
“Nico—“
“We were supposed to meet at Noon. We made a promise! You promised me to wait at Fountain Square! So why…” That anger that had erupted first then mellowed down, I don’t know what I’m feeling. But it’s still the same hurt, only weighted greater. I clutched tight to his scarf but my fingers were near trembling now.
“What did I do to make you hate me?”
Maybe what I said had clicked something within Ephemer, maybe he found out that I had time traveled back for him. The memories, and dissonance within those timelines had followed him back completely did it?
“… I thought you were the one who hated me-”
“I did because I thought you hated me!” My voice rose but not as loud as before. It was disbelief, it was distress.
“I waited all day by the fountain. Hoping… hoping that you’d turn up, but you never did. I felt betrayed. I felt that I wasn’t good enough for you. I hated you because…— no….” My fingers unclenched, loosening my grip to Ephemer,
“I hated the idea that I was losing you.”
I didn’t push Ephemer down as he gently pulled himself away from me, but didn’t distance himself. He stayed close by, incapable of comforting me but learning to understand me — I hope.
I felt the weight of his heart that beats with mine grow heavier in doubt, but the barrier between was melting for sure. He wasn’t arguing, he looked … stunned.
“I never saw you in the land of dreams again unless you were off duty. I thought that you forgot about me once I woke up, I couldn’t see you again because you were so busy. I was afraid of seeing you again because I know you would never look at me.”
“…That’s not true..”
“When you took away my memories, there were ones that were cherished between — gone as well. I thought those meant nothing to you.”
“… T-That’s not true…!”
“I thought the time we’d spent together — even the short lived ones, the ones from when we were young didn’t matter to you!“
“That’s not true!” His words echoed as loud as mine before. He too was trembling, before he continued,
“I… I didn’t mean to break our promise. I … I only did it because I was a selfish brat who continuously chased for approval of a father that I never had. I took away all your painful memories, even the good ones that blended in hopes that he would recognize me for doing a good deed. You’re right to say that I betrayed you… because I did…” Those last words trailed into broken whispers, as he broke down into tears.
“I betrayed you and the love you gave to me. I let that guilt grow until it suffocated me. I let it be the push to repress that guilt through my father’s shackles and weight of being a Dandelion Leader. I let that part of me that you love fester to ruin with memories that were precious to the both of us — for an ounce of perfection. Deep down I hated it, deep down I knew that wasn’t me. I never wanted to be a leader… I just wanted someone to look at me and tell me that I was good enough for them! I just wanted to feel needed!”
Those words meshed into sobs, he must’ve been holding this back for too long. I could hear through the cracks of the barrier his heart pleading for the affection he was never given — as I learn. The both of us had the same doubts, the same fears.
“I was … also scared of facing you, because I was scared of facing the reality that you hated me too…
I… I really wanted to spend more time with you, Sen… I wanted to tell you that I… That from afar I’d always looked over my shoulder for you.”
The way he said my name, he wanted to say it for a long time.
The two of us in the end shared the same fear for each other, and it divided us with our own inferiority and assumptions masquerading as one another.
“But I’m scared. I’m scared that we can no longer salvage what was pure to our bonds.”
Because in the established timeline, the fates declared him a Dandelion Leader. Not Ephemer, the Keyblade Wielder. Not Ephemer.
But to me I didn’t believe in what the fates declare. The stars can never tell our destinies. Our futures.
“… You can still be Ephemer. That would be enough for me.” I said, quietly. We were finally looking at each other — he was finally looking at me. With anguish and relief, I could finally see him up close after years — and time loops of complete distance. My lips curved tenderly, my gaze softening through the tears that shed with his.
At long last, we met.
“You can still be the same boy that had saved me by the shores. The same boy I met from the waterfront park. The same boy that promised me to meet by the fountain at noon.
You can be my…” My what? Who was Ephemer to me? How could you describe someone that was so important to you, that they were more than just a friend? What’s a word stronger than how others would commonly describe the person they love dearly… Prince? Beloved?
Those words never fit the way I see Ephemer.
… Lest, one word did. What the world wanted from the fountain of dreams… What I wanted never came from the fountain. He was right in front of me.
“… You can still be my eternity.”