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Chapter Text

“Charlie team prepare for extract on the Eastern side of the rooftop,” she watched the blinking dots turn towards the left, “your other East Charlie team,” the blinking dots walked back towards where they started, “Your other  other  East Charlie team."

Maria rolled her eyes and spoke one last time, "prepare for directional training after debrief.”

“That's never going to make sense to me," the man in her office doorway spoke as he placed a cup of coffee in front of her "How is it that they can complete a mission under your guidance with near perfect accuracy, until extraction?”

“If I knew the answer to that question, we wouldn't be going over 4th grade geography for the third time, tonight after debrief,” she pinched the bridge of her nose before wrapping her fingers around the warm cup.

“And Hard-ass-Hill keeps her name,” Coulson smirked at the thought of Maria standing in front of a projector with maps; showing a group of agents the difference between east and west for the third time. 

“If they were competent with directions at even the most basic level, I wouldn’t have to be Hard-ass-Hill,” she took a sip, “thanks.”

“After a night and a mission like that I was sure you needed it.”

The mission had been complicated from the start, not dangerous, but complicated. It took hours of planning and running through drills with various teams to make sure Charlie Team was ready to enter a lab, collect the necessary equipment and data, and get out before anyone other than the scientists who were scheduled to work that day showed up. The mission was a complete success (sans extraction point) and SHIELD was one step closer to finding the right materials to stabilize the tesseract. 

“Long night indeed,” the commander pulled a long sip from the cup before placing it back down and checking on the agents who had now entered the quinjet. 

“Nothing more than what you’re used to at this point,” the man wiggled his eyebrows.  

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she rolled her eyes and kept them on the monitor in front of her. 

“It doesn’t take a college degree in geography to know that your bunk and agent Romanoff's bunk are nowhere near each other,” his voice was low as he teased his friend, “and yet, I’ve seen her coming out of your room on the carrier several times now.”      

So much for being a super spy , she thought. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Phil.” 

The older agent hummed and shook his head, “Well if you and Romanoff aren’t ‘not hanging out’ tonight,” he put the words in air quotes, “let me know, we can grab dinner.” 

“Still don't know what you’re talking about. I’ll bring takeout to your place after the debrief and impromptu geography lesson,” she watched him nod and stand with a smile.

“You have fun with that, see ya later,” he pushed in the chair he had been sitting in and left her office. 

Maria double checked all of the agents were safely in the jet and on their way back to the helicarrier before pulling out her phone. 

Maria: Phil’s on to us, have to have dinner with him tonight to throw him off the trail. 

Nat: :(

Maria: Swing by after 8?

Nat: :) 

The brunette forced the smile she felt creeping on her lips down before putting her phone back in her pocket. She reminded herself that it was just sex between her and the redhead, nothing more. Definitely not something to cause her to smile at her phone like a love-struck teenager.

Maria was on the intake team when Barton brought back the Russian a few years prior. She watched the archer get verbally ripped into by every agent who was a level 7 and higher, she also watched him as he would shrug off every senior agent and just say “I made the call, we're going to have to live with it.” Maria herself wanted to yell at the man until she started the onboarding process with the former Russian assassin. It was then she saw what Clint had, and she understood why he made the call he did. 

The mysterious Black widow, the ghost killer that had the looks of Hollywood and the skills of a 10-man army. The killer who felt no fear, felt no pain, had no remorse. Only when Maria sat down in the interrogation room and took a look at the woman across from her, she was shocked to find that that wasn’t the case at all. The woman across from her had a face that was sunken in, her skin was pale and sickly, she looked young, dirty, and tired. It was not the face of a painless killer, it was the face of a young woman who was lost in life and didn’t care if the next moment was her last. 

“You made the right call Barton,” she left the room after hours of the interrogation and found the young man still waiting in the hallway. 

“I couldn’t…” he trailed, he didn’t need to say anything else, Maria knew what the next words would have been. 

“You made the right call,” she reiterated, placing her hand on his shoulder before walking away. 

She thought about this exact interaction while watching said archer trip over one of the stairs on his way into her office. 

“Well hello there Commander, what a pleasant surprise to see you here!” his voice was overly excited as he walked into her office, both hands holding a cup of coffee.

“It’s my office Barton, what do you want?” 

“Oh, what, your agent can’t come and say hi to his favorite handler? That’s a crime now?” he looked at the other coffee cup that sat to the left of her hand.

She raised a single eyebrow at the man. 

“Damn, already have coffee?” He placed one down in front of her, “there goes the bribe.”

“I’ll still gladly take it,” she reached for the cup as it was pulled back, “risky game you’re playing Barton.”

“Just hear me out, then coffee. Coffee that I got from your favorite place off base and kept warm on the seat warmer of my car,” the blonde emphasized with eyes that screamed ‘ hear me out before you say no ’.

“You have 2 minutes,” she glanced at the clock above her door. 

He walked in and closed it behind him, “The oldest duckling has a swim showcase on Friday and if I leave tonight I can be there to make his favorite, orange crush pop tarts, before he leaves for school and then I can pick him up before the showcase and I’ll be the best… duck father… ever!” 

Clint talked quickly, trying his best to fill the full two minutes she had allotted with vague duck analogies. Maria was among the small group of people who knew about Clint’s family, mainly because she knew Laura as an agent before retiring.

“And she already said she would cover for me if needed so I just think that if you would sign off on it, it would be great and-” he continued to ramble.

“Who?”

“Who what?” He stopped and looked at the brunette behind the desk.

“Who said they would cover for you?” She had to hold in the smile that was threatening to creep across her face as the man in front of her knitted his eyebrows together in thought. 

“Oh!” he straightened his face and smiled “Tasha, she said she would cover so I already thought that through, and if you-” he started to ramble once more.

“Fine,” she cut him off and reached out her hand, “coffee.”

“Thanks, Ria!” he shoved the cup in her hand, still warm, “Sorry, thanks, commander.”

“Fill out the paperwork and have it in my inbox an hour before you leave.”

It was a fine line between boss and friend, one that Maria walked with near perfection, opting to not make friends with any of her assets. Still there were times where her role as Deputy Director tumped all and one of her friends ended up having to come to her for missions or requests. Requests such as last minute time off approval which Clint was giddy with as he stood alone in her office. 

As much as he was a bird brain, it had been smart for him to come without his partner. Coming as a team was too much most of the time and would have granted him an immediate “no” after he or Natasha inevitably broke something inside.  

“Will do commander!” he threw the door open, it ricocheted against the wall and flung back at him, “sorry” he apologized to the door.

She shook her head and listened carefully as he left. 

“She say yes?” Natasha’s voice was quiet and trailing as the two of them walked away. 

“Yeah, I just have to fill out the paperwork or whatever,” his voice was louder. 

“Fill it out, Barton!” Maria yelled from her desk, knowing they would hear it. 

“I will, thanks again Commander,” he yelled back sheepishly and she could envision him shaking his head as he said it, “I swear she has supersonic hearing.” 

She downed the coffee Phil had gotten her and, in one perfect arch, threw the cup away in the trashcan by the door. The coffee Barton had gotten her was in fact her favorite, even as it reached lukewarm temperature. She thought back and couldn’t remember the last time she went to Compass Coffee, opting to get her subpar coffee from the Triskelion cafe instead.    

There was an alert on her computer letting her know that Carlie Team would be arriving back in the next two hours from their mission. The blue-eyed woman leaned back in her chair and savored her coffee as she double-clicked on the PowerPoint presentation saved to her computer. She watched the screen enlarge and now read: The Sun, where it’s located and how it can help YOU find your location!

Maria dismissed a group of agents that (she hoped) now had a better understanding of their geography as a tapping sound came from the glass wall on one side of the conference room. 

<See you Monday> Clint signed from the other side of the glass as he smiled.

The brunette waited for the man to popped his head into the room fully before asking him her follow up question.

“The paperwork is in my inbox, Barton?” She pushed in a few chairs as she walked by them,  how are people so messy ?

“Yep, all there,” he smiled and gave a thumbs-up as if to convince her of this. 

“Have a good weekend, Clint. Tell the ducklings and Laura I said hi,” she returned his smile and watched him throw a duffle bag over his shoulder. 

“Will do, bye Ria!” He yelled.

But then again, the archer was always yelling. 

Maria sighed and made her way back to her office, figuring she had time to finish a few more things before meeting Phil for dinner.

There was always more to do before dinner, before bed, before heading to work. She knew her work consumed her life, and was even more aware of the fact that very few things were off-limits to her in terms of when work should be put on pause for something more important. Her phone vibrated as she thought about this: 

Nat: 1 Video Msg.  

She closed the door to her office and sat in her chair, eyes glued to the screen in her hand, very few things were work off-limits indeed. Video messages from Natasha were one of them.

“Hill,” the redhead started with an eyebrow raised, “you sign off on Barton’s leave, and almost immediately I’m told that he was scheduled for a new agent recruitment tour tomorrow morning? How is it fair that now I have to do that?”

Maria smiled as she watched the spy talk into her phone, arm outstretched so that she could see most of her face and the surrounding area that Maria now recognized as the hallway outside the gym. Natasha texted often, called never, and sent video messages nearly constantly. She said that it "conveyed how she felt" more accurately, an action that the Russian's therapist had suggested. 

The videos always started in one of four ways, all meaning something different, all things the Commander had learned at this point:

Videos starting with “Riaaaaaaa” were normally about something non-urgent like what they were serving in the cafeteria that day. “Commander/Hill,” was when she was pissed off at a work-related thing, typically something completely out of Maria’s control but she was the person the Russian chose to complain to about it. “Hi Mia,” was the start of videos that were strictly saved for when the brunette was alone with her door locked (normally on missions where Natasha was in the field for more than a week). The last were the ones that Maria cherished the most, they always started with a small smile and then “Hey Masha”. From there, the video could go anywhere. Maria liked to believe that it was the sense of mystery that made her heart melt at the start of those videos. 

“Hey, Masha” videos ranged from slightly intoxicated Natasha in front of a bar smoking a cigarette, to ever so subtly puffy-eyed Natasha on the roof of her apartment in the city. Those videos always got an instant reply form Maria and a drive to wherever the redhead was currently located. 

“Anyway, I don’t want to do that and I’m pretty sure SHIELD will fire me if I scare any more baby agents off before their first day. But if a tall handsome Commander was by my side to keep me in check,” the redhead said this with her voice lowered as she passed agents in the hall, “well that would make it a little more bearable. See ya later. Okaybye.”

Maria closed the video and texted back: I’ll consider it after tonight. 

As often as she got the video messages for Natasha, she rarely responded back in one (Unless it was a “hi Mia” video, those always got a video response). She spent most of her life writing in the form of messages, emails, mission reports, and felt like she could accurately convey her attitude back in one just fine. 

Nat: I think I have a few ways of persuading you ;)

The woman shook her head and got back to reading over various leave requests and mission reports. Charlie team had come back with a few hard-drives worth of data on the tesseract that she sent to the data team to encrypt before sending it to the right scientists. She knew that Fury had a plan for it all and was currently talking to Dr. Selvig about different ways the energy source could be used. 

Personally, Maria didn't understand why so many people were interested in the cube which had both powered the underground lab it was being held in and created a small portal just for a moment before closing again. But then again, there was a lot in the agency that she kept her nose out of either due to the dullness of, or the importance of including this. It seemed like the whole “power source from outer space” thing would lead to nothing good and she didn’t want to be on the ground floor when that happened. 

So instead she approved requests and helped with mission planning until the next time she looked at the clock she realized that not only was she late, but she was also going to be even later having to stop by for take out. She grabbed her jacket and keys as she locked her office door and headed to the garage. As per usual the lot was mostly empty by the time she got to the black car she had recently purchased.

She had been driving a tan sedan for the last 10 years, it was great on gas and had been fully paid off in her first year at SHIELD. It was also the ugliest “grandma” car that both Natasha and Fury said they had ever seen and so after another year with the car, she finally upgraded to an Audi TT two-seater. 

She backed out of the spot and punched it to the family-owned Mexican restaurant located right outside of the gates. Phil had shown it to her when they first started working at the Triskelion full time and it was now a staple of her diet. The spring air was warm and smelled like roasted chilies and garlic as she pulled into the spot and got out of the car. 

“One or two?” The woman behind the counter asked in Spanish as she watched the brunette walk in. 

Maria held up two fingers, she came often and ordered the same thing enough times, that the staff only needed to know if she was feeding it to one or two people. She opened the cooler door next to her and grabbed two glass coke bottles before walking over to the register. 

“How’s your day going today?” A teenage girl who was standing behind the register asked, as the first woman disappeared into the kitchen to make the food. 

“Pretty good, long but hey it’s almost the weekend,” Maria had gotten good at small talk over the years of having to talk to recruits, her platoon in the Army, and world council members.

“Lucky you,” the teenager rolled her eyes and sighed loudly.

The blue-eyed woman chuckled, “no rest for the wicked huh?”

“No rest ever,” she sighed again and slouched in the chair she was sitting in. 

“You’ll be thankful for that when all of your schooling is paid for,” the woman from the back reemerged and handed a bag of takeout over to Maria. 

It was moments like this that made the commander miss her grandmother and aunts who raised her. The smells in the restaurant, the weathered hands of the Latina woman in front of her giving an abundance of love to the teenager, all of it made her heartache.

She reached into her pocket and grabbed two bills, handing them over to the girl behind the counter. 

“Keep the change,” she turned around and left before letting her heart hurt any more. 

The garage of the apartment complex was underground and full of cars that would be at the Triskelion along with hers in the morning. The building was technically property of SHIELD and therefore old and boring as each contained: a bedroom, small kitchen, small living/dining room, and bathroom. It was then up to the agents to make it a “home”, or at least that was what the executives pitched. 

However, some people were much better at decorating than others which was why it was hard to believe that she and Phil had identical layouts, just on different floors, as she walked into his apartment. His place was warm and inviting, the couch and loveseat were light grey with wooden legs that matched the coffee table perfectly, the throw blanket and pillows were placed perfectly. This design carried through the rest of the apartment seamlessly, it was as if a home design catalog had been replicated in the space down to the clear cereal containers that adorned the floating cabinets in his kitchen. 

“Sorry,” was the first word out of her mouth as she kicked off her shoes and made her way to the living room, “I lost tra-”

“Track of time,” the agent finished her sentence, “I know, that’s why I always eat a late lunch when you say you’re bringing dinner.”

She gave an apologetic smile and opened the to-go box which immediately filled the small space with a delightful aroma that she could hear Coulson inhale. He returned with a bottle opener and two glasses for the coke, along with a bottle of top-shelf rum. 

“May get back tomorrow?” she missed the woman who was completely different in her own home, then when she was at work.

“Bright and early,” Phil beamed as he poured the coke into the glasses.

“Speaking of early, what do you know about the recruitment tour tomorrow?” She tried to ask nonchalantly as she bit into a taco.

“I know that it was Barton's responsibility,” he opened the bottle of rum and added it to the glasses, “which means it’s now Romanoff’s, which means you’re probably going to get roped into it.”  

Maria rolled her eyes, “just tell me about it.”

“It might actually be useful for you now that I think about it, maybe you can show them our command room and have them point out where south is, take your pick from there,” he smiled and ate a spoon full of rice. 

She snort-laughed, Phil was one of the handful of people who ever heard her do it. Maybe it would be good to go in that case, just for work, obviously. 

“You seeing her tonight?” He chuckled at the sound she made.

“Yeah,” there was no point in denying it away from work. 

“You guys should come to dinner with Mel and I next Sunday. Kinda like a double date.”

“That would imply that we are dating,” she took another bite and locked eyes with the older agent next to her, “which we are not.”

“Come on Ria, you two are practically in love with each other. You spend most nights together, you text each other all day, you let her bully you into a much nicer car,” he was making good points.

“She’s just a friend who, like myself, is not looking for anything serious.”

“She told you that?” Coulson challenged.

“Yeah, we both said it when this started” she had remembered the conversation well, she remembered what came after that conversation even better.

“And when was that?” He was pushing it now. 

“I don't know like… a year… year and a half ago?”

“Ria people’s feelings change over time ya know,” he took a sip of his drink and winced slightly, “maybe you have the conversation again.” 

They sat there and ate and talked for long enough that Phil had convinced her to “just think about” going on a double date with him and May. Which is to say, she sat there and talked for too long.

Maria felt her phone vibrate and without having to look she knew who it was from. So did Phil. 

“Have fun,” he smirked as she got up.  

“See ya tomorrow,” she threw away her trash and made her way to the door. 

Natasha didn’t live in the building, she lived in a nicer place with Steve a few blocks over. But by the time Maria descended the staircase to the floor below Coulsons, the redhead had already gotten into the apartment, leaving the door ajar. 

“You should have just kept the key,” Maria announced as she walked in. 

The Russian had one hell of a green thumb and was Maria’s go-to house sitter when she was on the carrier alone. She had given her a key each time she asked the spy to water her plants, and each time it was kindly returned with a red ribbon attached to it. 

“Yeah but this keeps my skills sharp,” Natasha responded, placing a bobby pin back into place into the messy bun on her head she sat on Maria’s couch. 

Maria’s apartment was clean, a little bare, but clean. Her navy blue couches had come from an aunt's old house and were slightly too large for the space, her TV was large but old, and her coffee table did not match at all. It wasn’t that she didn’t have the funds to upgrade everything, it was that she didn't have the time or the will. The apartment was used to sleep, have mind-blowing sex with Natasha, and watch old movies. There really wasn’t a need to make it fancy. 

“Whatever you say,” she sat down on the coffee table across from the redhead, “you’re the boss.”

Natasha hummed and stood up as she took Maria’s face in her hands, tilting it up. She kissed her deeply, moving her hands from the brunette's face to gently placed them on her chest. The Russian trailed her fingers down, taking a button in her fingers and undoing it before coming up for air. Maria immediately missed the feeling on her lips and looked up at the sight in front of her.

Natasha’s hair had fallen from its bun and was now framing her face in perfect curls, her eyes were soft, her lips slightly parted and pink. She smiled as she watched Maria take her in before undoing more buttons, kissing her for every one. For a second, the brunette thought about what Phil had said about people’s feelings changing and how she should ask Natasha about it. But she brushed past the idea, there was no world in which she would bring that up and risk losing what she already had if the spy didn’t feel the same way.

This moment was too close to perfection to ever lose. 

“Julia Roberts,” the green-eyed assassin was still slightly out of breath as she laid down next to the Commander. 

“What?” Maria turned her head on the pillow to get a full view of the woman next to her.

“Julia Roberts,” she confirmed and trailed a finger up the brunette's forehead. 

“If you’re telling me you had to think about Julia Roberts when you have sex with me-” 

“No no, trust me you are more than enough,” she grinned with near devilish eyes, “in fact let me show you again just how wet you make-”

“Nat, what about Julia Roberts?”

“Right. She has a vein on her forehead like this,” she softly touched Maria’s forehead again, “and during the filming of Pretty Woman they had to massage it so that it didn’t stick out as much between takes.”

There was a lot about Natasha that no one knew, her extensive knowledge of movies from the 80s and 90s was one of those things. She explained to Maria one day in a “hey Masha” video that it was how she would practice her American accent when she first joined the agency. Other than Clint all of the agents were afraid of her and she lived down the street from a Blockbuster so every weekend she would watch movies and recite them back to sound more American. 

“So what I’m hearing is you think I’m as pretty as young Julia Roberts?” the brunette joked. 

“Prettier,” Natasha replied so quietly as she kissed her on the cheek that Maria thought she might have made it up. 

She laid in bed and watched the redhead pull her clothes back on, just as enthralled as she was watching her take them off. 

“What time are they getting to the Triskelion tomorrow?” 

“7:45 AM sharp,” she was pulling her hair back into a messy bun with a small smile. 

“I want it on the record that sex was not payment for that,” Maria sat up against the headboard of her bed, “makes me feel gross.”

“Oh, so we have a record now huh?” Natasha jumped slightly to get her pants all the way up.

The brunette's face flushed, “No, it’s a saying- a figure of speech- I was just-”

“It’s fine,” Natasha kissed her on the cheek, “you’re cute, see you tomorrow.”

And with that she left, seemingly having taken all the oxygen out of the room as Maria sat there embarrassed, cursing Phil internally for getting in her head. She slid down in her bed and stared at her ceiling, replaying the interaction she just had until she fell asleep. 

The air was cool this far below the earth's surface, the tension that accompanied it made Maria want to shiver. It seemed that the hard drives that Charlie team brought back had been monumental for further exploration of the tesseract, something that the scientists now wanted to show Fury. 

“Sir, with all due respect, I don't understand why I’m here,” the brunette walked alongside the director as they descended the last staircase in the building. 

“I’m a busy man, Hill,” he kept his head straight forward.

“I am well aware,” she continued to match his pace as they got to the bottom of the stairwell. 

“And you’re a busy woman,” again he kept his head forward, offering nothing else.

“Which is why I don’t understand why I’m here, sir,” there was a mountain of work that she needed to finish back at her desk. But instead, she was cold, annoyed, and standing in front of a group of scientists. 

“Figured a field trip would do you some good,” he finally turned to look at her, “unless you have other extracurricular activities you’d rather be doing?”

Fury only had one eye, but never missed anything. Including the way that his second in command acted as soon as Natasha was in the room. He had watched her show up a little before 8am the week before to talk to some of the new recruits and had been harassing her about it ever since. 

“I already told you, sir, that was strictly to see if there were any new candidates that would benefit from work in the strategic analysis sector,” she felt the blush creep over her face. 

The man didn’t even dignify this with an answer, instead, he turned and began talking to one of the scientists. Maria had a system in place for categorizing her relationships with people so that wires were never crossed and moments like this never happened. Clint was a friend but an agent first, Phil and May were colleagues but friends first, Laura was just a friend these days, but Fury was in a category all alone. He was her mentor and she looked up to him in many ways. Which is why conversations like this (which he seemed to always get a kick out) made her squirm just a little. 

“Commander Hill, what a pleasant surprise ma’am,” Dr. Selvig stuck his hand out and shook hers. 

“A surprise to us both,” she glanced over to her boss, “what's going on today?”

“Do you recall the report of the small portal that the energy source created a few months ago?” The scientist walked over to a laptop where other agents were gathered around. 

“I do.”

“Well over the last four days, at exactly the same time each day, we are getting glimpses into that portal again,” Selvig had a large smile across his face. 

“Who authorized this?” She had a feeling of what the answer would be, but if they were being authorized by someone, that paperwork would need to be filled out and make its way to her desk. 

“No one,” one of the other agents looked nervous as she answered, “they just happen on their own ma’am. After we figured out some of the inner workings from those files your team brought back.”

“How much longer?” Fury spoke for the first time tot he group.

“About 3 minutes, if you could please stand behind the protective barrier sir,” the agent motioned to a large bulletproof tunnel to the side. 

Once they were behind the glass barrier Maria looked more closely at the setup. The tesseract had been placed in a container at one side of the room, opposite it was a metal rig that the commander had been informed was used to harness the energy. They waited for another minute before the cube began to shine brightly.

A single beam exploded from the center and caused a large blue ring to emerge where the metal rigging once stood. Her skin was covered in goosebumps as the ring continued to show an inky black hole. Then, the darkness started to take shape and as the brunette blinked once more, there was an office space in the hole. Chairs and tables were visible with computers scattered around. 

“What is that?” she squinted harder to try and make it out. 

“Dr. Selvig, an explanation?” Fury’s voice was loud behind the glass. 

Maria looked at the scientist who's eyes were filled with amazement as he shook his head. Then, just as the portal started to close, a small child flashed in front of it for just a moment before portal closed once more. 

“It has never taken an image before!” Selvig began typing away on the laptop in front of him, “where even was that? A bank? An office?”

“A Slavic nation,” the Commander spoke up as she followed Fury to the scientist. 

“What?” this got his attention.

“The writing on the whiteboard in the back was written in Cyrillic,” she had picked some up from Natasha, “so, you’re looking at Belarus, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, or Russia most likely.” 

She reached into the pocket on her uniform for a piece of paper and the pen she kept clipped to her left arm. The words on the board were already fading in her memory as she wrote them down quickly, hoping they would help at some point.  

“Figure it out Selvig, I don’t want to be outdone by the Russians. I want a report by the end of the week,” Fury turned and walked back to the staircase with Maria following closely at his heel, “at least your extracurricular is paying off.”

“Sir?” She was still thinking about the writing. 

“A year ago, you didn’t speak Russian,” his lips hinted at a smile as he continued to climb the stairs. 

“I don’t speak Russian… well,” she thought about the phrases that she had gotten comfortable using around Natasha, “I don’t speak Russian well.” 

“I don’t really give a damn about how well you speak it, I want you on this project and this project alone until we figure out what’s going on. I trust you to see it through,” he had reached the top level and opened the door to the parking lot, “I have matters at hand that cannot be fulfilled without that energy source.” 

While doing her best to stay out of these affairs, she had been looped in on a few of the details including how the energy source would be used to harness the energy to create laser-like weapons. Fury had only ever mentioned it as ‘phase two’ and would leave it at that. 

“I understand, sir,” she had noticed her boss becoming more stressed recently, “I’ll see to it.”

She followed him to his car and got into the passenger seat.

“Great,” he started the engine that roared to life, “then let’s have a conversation about your next car.”

“Sir, I just got my car,” she groaned and put her seatbelt on as they started driving entirely too fast. 

“Which is why you should already be on the market for a new one,” he blew past the guard post and onto the main road, “now this model is great not only because of its sleek design but the features that you can…” 

He continued to talk about the car the entire drive back to the Triskelion. It was during moments like this that Maria had a hard time figuring out the category that Fury fell into. He was her mentor, they weren’t truly friends, it was more formal than that. She thought back to her deadbeat dad and how this was the kind of relationship she was supposed to have with him. 

Therapy Maria, you need to go back to therapy. Do not put your daddy issues onto Fury, she shook her head clear as they pulled into the Directors spot in the garage.   

“Make sense?” he asked as he cut the engine. 

She nodded and got out of the car, hoping the end of the conversation hadn't been important. There was too much on her mind, she didn’t need to add buying a new car to that list anyway. 

“Let me know if you need backup and I’ll sign off on Morris or May to help out with intel,” he walked over to the elevator and pressed the button numerous times. 

“Will do,” she stood next to him and waited for the elevator, entering it as the doors opened. 

They rode the elevator up to the top floor where their offices were located, Maria peeling off to the left after saying her goodbyes. She wasn’t entirely sure where she should start on this project, knowing the scientists would be more apt to handle the reasoning behind the portal opening. 

This logic is what left her trying to rack her brain for any additional information she could think of. The image looked like it was in some type of office building, but the equipment was dated and the writing on the board hadn’t made any sense. She looked down at the piece of paper with her handwriting scrawled across it in nearly illegible Russian writing. 

In her haste, she was sure she had missed a few characters because every search she did of the words came back with nothing important. The translation of words ranging from socks and quarterly reviews to commercial logistics management. She was worried that it was all business jargon that was used in every office, regardless of country of origin. Again she tried and again she was met with the same translation “транспорт → transport” and then images of trains and cargo ships.  

Her hands were grasped too firmly around her mouse as frustration crept in and she pushed away from her desk, annoyed. After a few deep breaths and the realization that she had been at this for five hours, she pulled out her phone. 

Nat: 2 Video Msg.  

Begrudgingly she smiled and opened the video, “Hi Riaaaaaa,” the spy's voice was chipper even as her flushed cheeks made it obvious she had been training, “found out that Barton gets back today from the farm which is fun, but more importantly, apparently, the caf bought too many muffins so they are giving them away to anyone. I’ll try and get you one depending on how many I can grab. Anywayyyyy talk to you soon, okaybye.”

Maria saved the message and went on to the next one, “RIA!” Natasha’s voice was loud on the speaker, a big smile on her face, “They let us take them all!” She panned the camera over to Clint who had at least 6 boxes of muffins obscuring his vision, “let me know when you’re free and I’ll bring you some. Hope you aren't too stressed, okaybye!”

The brunette wasn’t sure if it was the familiarity of listening to the redhead rush the last two words of the message together, the number of muffins she had, or the smile that still lingered, frozen in perfection, on her phone screen, but she couldn't help but want to call Natasha and tell her to come right now. However, that was desperate, they were just sleeping with each other, no feelings, just friends and coworkers.  Nothing more, she had to remind herself as she slowly put her phone away. 

That lasted another 15 minutes before she couldn't take it anymore and pulled her phone back out. 

Maria: Sorry, busy day. Blueberry?

She waited and thought that maybe she should have said something better than that; something more flirty or at least more entertaining. Another minute went by without a response and Maria put her phone away, she was once again acting like a love-struck teen. They were just sleeping together. And yet as soon as her phone vibrated, she picked it up with the speed she normally reserved for pulling her gun from its holster. 

Nat: My fav too. Be there in 10. 

Sure enough, exactly ten minutes later, there ware two light knocks followed by a softer third on her door.

“Come in,” Maria looked up from her computer that she half wanted to throw off the roof at this moment. 

“Someone is very grumpy considering she’s about to be gifted 5 free blueberry muffins,” the redhead closed the door behind her and placed five individually wrapped muffins on the desk.

“Sorry,” she looked at the woman who had now laid down full on the couch next to Maria’s desk, "thank you for the muffins."

Much like the apartments, the offices on this floor of the building were all identical for the most part. Fury’s was a larger corner office with a nicer desk, Phil’s had an extra chair in front of the desk and an expansive tea collection in the corner, Maria’s office, however, had a couch that had been properly broken in, unlike Fury’s and Phil’s that were still just about as hard as they were the day they were delivered. This, coupled with the fact that it always smelled like warm coffee, created a well-kept secret that her office was the best place to nap. 

“Tell me about what's stressing you out?” the spy had closed her eyes and tilted her head back on the armrest. 

“It’ll bore you,” the brunette warned as she reached for a muffin. 

“Good, I need a bedtime story,” it wasn’t uncommon to find one of the troublemakers asleep on her couch. 

“Fury and I went to take a look at that classified power source,” she took a bite of the muffin, it was good for the mass-produced kind. 

Natasha hummed for her to continue, eyes still closed. 

“And there was this portal that opened up,” she took another bite and watched the redheads breathing slow, “but it was dark and we couldn't see much other than... an office? It looked like an office.”

She finished the muffin and threw the wrapper away in the trashcan by her door, “And in the background, there was this writing on a whiteboard but I think I wrote it down wrong because for the last five hours I have been coming up with nothing, or maybe it was just office stuff."

Maria knew that the Russian was most likely asleep, but still she continued, "Oh and I think I might be going crazy because I saw a kid in front of it before it closed.”

“A kid huh?” the woman asked from the couch, her voice sleepy. 

“I mean I thought it was a kid but, I’ve been told too much caffeine consumption can lead to hallucinations,” this was the more likely explanation considering no one else had mentioned seeing the child, “so now I’m trying to figure out if sales quotes and transportation has anything to do with the mission.”

She sighed and looked at the writing on the paper again, pretty sure the redhead was now asleep. The writing at the top of the board had looked old, parts of it were smudged off and the quarterly reports were from years prior. However, the transportation section was written in new black ink.

The commander glanced (for too long) and saw that Natasha had indeed fallen asleep and curled herself into a small ball on the couch. Without any distractions, the typing on her computer increased in speed now as she continued to look for any old office buildings in nations where Russian was spoken. She searched for buildings that had been renovated and ones that had been condemned. 

Her eyes stung from staring at the computer screen for so long, every once in a while she would look at the assassin on her couch, fast asleep. There were too many options and yet she still came up with nothing for what seemed like hours. Her head made a dull thud as she put it down in frustration. 

“You didn’t tell me it was in Russian,” Natasha had managed to get off the couch and stand behind the Commander while her head was down. 

“I have translation settings on,” she spoke into the desk her head was still placed on. 

“Those are garbage, this the note?”

Maria nodded, there was only one note on her desk that was written in Cyrillic, she didn’t need to look up to know that she had found the right one.

“Well this should say finansovyy otchet, the last few letters got erased,” she wrote the correct letters down, “so financial report from the early 2000’s”

“I got that far, but all of the stuff on the bottom was new and I can't find any banks or offices that closed in the 2000s and opened back up recently.” 

The brunette groaned and sat up, looking at the intensity of Natasha’s face as she studied the scrap of paper. 

“You said you saw a kid?” The redhead looked up.

“I said I think I saw a kid,” she confirmed.

“It’s not uncommon for kids on the street to live in old buildings that don’t get checked out very often, especially in Russia which is where this was written.”

“I thought about that, but what do street kids have to do with opening portals to government facilities? Or transportation for that matter?”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, “are you serious? What do you think Yelena and I did in Ohio?”

The Russian very rarely talked about her sister and sleeper family from the early 90s in Ohio. The older woman knew that they had helped burn down a SHIELD facility from the records that she read, she had learned about Natasha's pseudo-sister (and how she missed her) from a “Hey Masha'' video. 

The blue-eyed woman finally spoke up, “shit... you think this is the Red Room?”

“No, Clint and I took that down during my defection,” her voice was sober, “but Hydra worked pretty close with The Room and was always looking for kids to do their dirty work.”

So now she just needed to find out where this building was located and fast if they were planning on transporting something to do with the tesseract soon. 

“Are you positive this is in Russia?” that would at least narrow it down to one country rather than four.   

“Yeah, this is Russian slang,” she pointed to the bottom row, “how old was the kid?”

“Young," she recalled the brief flash of a face that looked no older than six, "really really young." 

“Then you’re looking for a larger group, this wouldn’t have been written by a child. It’s slang teenagers use,” the redhead's face became very serious. 

“So a teenager and a child? At least?” Maria tried to get her to come back from wherever her mind had gone.

“Yeah…” her eyes still looked distant and concerned.

“What’s wrong, Tasha?” it was a risky question, she could bolt at any second.

“It’s… it’s exactly what The Room used to do,” she swallowed hard, “they would send out teenagers and kids at the same time like siblings to blend in. But it can't be them… we… Clint and I… we blew it up. We rigged bombs.”

“Hydra probably just picked up the tactic, it’s okay,” the brunette tried.

“I have to go,” Natasha started towards the door, “oh and Hill that last word isn’t transportation, it’s teleportation. You switched two of the letters around.”

Maria descended the staircase to the sub-level where the tesseract would be opening a portal in approximately 90 seconds. Her feet flew down the steps as she lengthened her strides to get to the bulletproof viewing tunnel once more. This time there were more agents and scientists behind the glass structure. 

“Commander,” Phil greeted and scooted over to make room, “have you seen it before?”

“For a few days,” she recalled the last 4 days of this routine.

“Is it as interesting as everyone makes it?” he looked over to the woman next to him and took a sip of his tea.

“The first time is unlike anything you’ve ever seen,” she stared at the power source that started to glow briefly before, once again, letting out a single beam of light.

Over the last few days, the portal had grown in size but the image remained the same. The office, the computers, the old style of chairs, the only difference was there was no child after the first time. Without the near confirmation from Natasha, the handler would have convinced herself that it was a hallucination the first time.  

“Wow,” she heard the agents next to her gasp as the portal opened and showed the now-familiar scene. 

Everything remained the same as she squinted to see that the whiteboard had now been erased, confirming that there was recent activity. However, this time as the portal grew she could see outside of one of the windows. The sun was setting behind a large billboard advertising a coat sale from what she could tell. 

She had just pulled out her pen to start writing when the massive hole flickered once, twice, and then was gone. 

“You weren’t kidding that was incre-” Coulson started before the commander held up a finger to silence him. 

The writing on her paper was in half Russian, half English as she recalled everything she had just witnessed. As soon as she finished she looked at the man next to her. 

“Incredible, right?” she nodded to him.

“This happens every day?” He was smiling as he asked, letting people pass from behind him. 

“Same time, every day,” she confirmed, “this time it was bigger though.”

She looked over to where Dr. Selvig was stationed, talking with broad gestures to the scientists around him. Phil walked over to the team with Maria next to him, both pausing as the doctor flew his arms around. 

“Dr. Selvig,” the brunette interrupted. 

“Ah Commander Hill, hello! Did you see that today, the absolute size of it all,” he was beaming, “tall enough and clear enough if I do say so myself. Just as a pond would be.”

He rambled on for a moment more, talking about things that clearly only made sense to him and a few of the scientists around him.

“Dr. Selvig,” the blue-eyed woman cleared her throat, “I just wanted to remind you that Director Fury would like a report by the end of the day.”

“Yes, yes, of course, Friday already?” he asked no one in particular. 

“It is,” Maria answered, “end of the day, Dr. Selvig.”

She turned and made her way back to the staircase with Coulson who chuckled as soon as they were out of earshot.

“He’s a character,” the older agent commented.

“Oh you have no idea,” she responded as they climbed the stairs, “need a ride?”

“Please, May has the car and I really don’t want to carpool back with team meathead.”

This time it was Maria who laughed as they got to the door to the parking lot. There, in a large group were said meathead agents. 

“Coulson, you coming?” one of the older members called out.

“I got him,” Maria answered on his behalf.

“Yes, ma’am,” and with that, the agent was in the large van they had come in. 

The two got into Maria’s car and fell into an easy conversation as they pulled onto the main road. 

“We technically do have two cars though,” Phil was arguing back. 

“You only drive Lola on the weekends, that technically counts as like 1 ¼ cars,” she smiled at his sigh. 

“Well, there’s only two of us and we work the same hours at the same place. Unless one of those factors changes then I don't see the problem with the car we have,” he took a sip of his tea.

“So, you think that you guys will have kids?” The brunette knew that they would both always work at SHIELD with relatively the same hours, so only one of the items on his list could change. 

“Maybe, she’s still recovering from what happened in Bahrain but she's talked about the possibility,” Phil smiled.

If there was anyone who was well suited for parenthood, it was Phil Coulson. The man was like a baby magnet as soon as he walked into the SHIELD daycare. Maria knew that he and Melinda had been planning on having a child before the incident in Bahrain that left May traumatized. 

“I’m glad, I know that you guys…” she didn’t know how to finish the sentence. 

“We’ll just have to wait and see, I guess. You never know what’s going to happen in life, but I’m sure it will all work out” he always had the ability to spin situations in a positive direction. 

The brunette hummed in half agreement and continued to drive back to work.

“You know, you and Natasha still owe us a double date.”

“She’s been a little… distant recently,” her mouth felt dry as she said it.

After the day in her office, Natasha had been on edge, spending most of her time alone. Her video messages had become less frequent and were always work-related questions. Any push to see what was wrong had ended with even more distance. 

“I’m sorry Ria,” Phil's voice was low, “I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine. It was just sex anyway.”

There was a pause for just a little too long before Coulson spoke again, “Do you know why?”

“No,” she answered quickly, “I mean, I don’t know for sure. She kinda bolted after we talked about the Red Room.”

“You think that has anything to do with her requesting time off?” His voice was already weary. 

“She requested time off?” In all of their years together, the only time the Russian had ever requested time off was for Clint-related reasons. Even that had only been done a handful of times. 

“Tomorrow,” Phil sipped his tea loudly, “she has a mission in a few weeks so I granted it.” 

“Oh,” Maria swallowed, “well… good for her. I hope she gets to relax.”

“Ha, right. Relax,” the agent gave a fake laugh as they pulled into a spot, “Just let me know if you hear anything, I’d rather my assets stay in one piece.” 

“Yeah, will do.”

She doubted she would hear anything from the redhead regarding what she was actually using her time off for. Her mind was racing as they got on to the elevator, too many things that the Russian could be up to, but none of them were good. 

Fury was waiting at the elevator as it got to their level, whether it was a coincidence (it wasn't) or he had been waiting for them, he looked busy. 

“Coulson,” he greeted before turning to Maria, “A word.”

They walked back to her office in silence, he closed the door behind him and sat on a chair across from her desk. 

“Mission report with the tesseract,” right to the point. 

“I can't confirm what Selvings team has found,” she clicked on her computer and brought up the pages of intel that she had gathered from the days of returning to the power source, "but I narrowed down the location. I need a little more time to be certain but I know that it’s in Russia and most likely a small town in Siberia.”

“I don't have more time Hill, I need an answer,” the director stared at her. 

“I understand that sir,” she started, “but I just need to find out where this billboard is located and then I can give you coordinates.” 

“Monday,” he stood up quickly, “I have a meeting with the council and need to give them an answer. I can give you no longer than that.”

“Yes, sir.”

He walked out of the office, his jacket flowing behind him. She looked up at the clock, 70 hours until she needed a conclusive answer on where the other side of this portal was coming from. 

Chapter Text

Her bag hit the ground as soon as she opened the door to her apartment that night. It had been a long day and all she wanted was to relax for a little bit before starting back up on her mission to find the building that had been visible in the confines of the portal. Her hand found the familiar loops of her holster as she put her gun on the coffee table and sighed. 

Her apartment wasn't large, and for the first time, she was grateful for that, in only a few steps she was half-undressed and in her bedroom. The uniform unzipped and came off around her ankles as she laid back on her bed. The AC hadn’t kicked on yet so she opted to stay in that position and close her eyes for just a second. Or 3,600 seconds by the clock on her phone as she looked at the screen. 

Her skin was cold from laying, mostly naked, on her bed as the AC cooled the room for an hour. But that didn't keep her heart from racing and feeling flush as soon as she saw the notification. 

Nat: 1 Video Msg.  

“Hey,” the redhead on the screen paused to take a drag of her cigarette, glancing around before giving a small smile.

The background was dark wherever she was, by the noise in the background it was a bar, by the people stumbling around speaking Russian, she spy was no longer in DC. It seemed she had already made her way across the world during her requested time off. She blew out the smoke and looked back at her phone. 

“Hey Masha,” two words were all it took for Maria to stop thinking and listen to every word that fell out of Natasha’s mouth, “I know what you’re thinking ‘what this is crazy, how is Natasha somewhere that it’s already 2 am?',” 

Her Russian accent always came back when she spoke the language for a long period, or when she was drunk. By the sounds of it, both were factors right now. 

“But the thing is, I am here in Russian because of you. Well because of what you had told me and you see, now I am here and oh Masha let me tell you how wrong I fucking was.”

Maria sat there on her bed and listened to the whole 5-minute video, not blinking once. It seemed that there was a possibility that the Red Room was in fact still active, even after she and Clint had leveled an entire city block trying to get rid of it. She was going to set up a catch and release and thought someone should know, just in case. 

“And the best part of all of this?” she took one last drag, “I have to face the people that not only fucked my life but my sis-”

The Russian let out a groan of frustration as she choked back tears. She kept the video rolling as she stood up and stubbed out the cigarette with her heel. Maria thought back to the times when she had tried to convince the Russian to stop smoking, Natasha assured her it was a once in a while thing. She learned that was code for 'when I’m drunk and sad'. 

“She is probably gone, and now I can have confirmation on that,” she was walking down a dark street now, “I wanted to believe that Yelena was out of The Room and safe with her own life. But now I- FUCK”

Tears rolled down her face as she continued to walk in the darkness, Maria felt her own rising up at the anguish of the woman on the screen.

“I just wanted to tell you, so if something happens, you know,” she composed herself, “anyway… I wish you were here Masha. Okay. Bye.”

And with that, the video was over and Maria felt worse than he had in a while. Normally she would travel to wherever Natasha was after a video like that, but she knew that she would be risking her mission if she did. She was also torn on how she was supposed to feel, she gave her that information and while she knew that the Russian was hurting, maybe she could find closure. 

Maria's arms found the holes on her old shirt from West Point as she pulled it over her head, opting to have some clothes on for the video message she would send back to the redhead.  

“Hi Tasha,” she forced a smile, “good to know that you’re still smoking despite my best efforts.”

She tried her best to joke as she pulled on a pair of old running shorts, just out of frame.

“I know that no matter what I say, you’re going to go ahead with this mission so, I hope that you find what you need to find, and know that if it’s not what you wanted, that you tried your best. Or you could just go and do recon, get information then all of us can help. You don’t have to do this alone, you never have to do this alone.”

Her words were more honest than she anticipated. She wanted to tell Natasha how much she cared about her, how she didn’t have go through life alone. Not just this mission. But if she told her that, then she could ruin what they already had. 

“I just,” she paused for a moment, “I want you... I mean I want you to be okay and for you to know that I’m here for you. Give me a call sometime yeah? And if not then check in every 12 please. Okay… talk to you soon.” She hit send before she could think it through and chicken out, her videos always seemed more awkward than Natasha's. 

Her apartment had gotten dark as the sun began to set and she looked at her fridge for the magnet that had the pizza delivery number on it. She figured by the time it arrived, she could have narrowed the location of the building down to one city. Her fingers pressed firmly on the screen of her phone as she flipped the paper menu over in her hand as if she was going to get anything other than her usual order.

Within thirty-minute, as promised, she had a pizza and a more narrow down location.

“Have a good night,” the teenager called out as he walked away from Maria’s door.  

She sank down on her couch and looked at the laptop where the screen read 'Novosibirsk'. She took a slice of pizza she started eating while using satellite images to try and find the billboard. 

In the end it took 2 more slices of pizza, and 2 beers to narrow it down to a city block that had been abandoned 10 years prior. There was a cluster of office buildings that all sat near never changing billboards, two of them overlooked a billboard with a picture of a coat on it.

The draft to Fury sat in her inbox, there was something about the finality of it all that made her wait until she was of clear mind the location next morning. If she had gotten any of it wrong, she would have been wasting everyone's time and money, so she waited. 

Her head hit the pillow and almost immediately she was asleep, only waking up to check her phone every few hours to see if Natasha had sent anything else. She hadn't. By the time her alarm went off in the morning she was rested and ready to take on the day. Or rather, she was ready for May to come down to her apartment and take her on a run.

“It’s open!” she called to the front door as she continued tying her shoes.

“I could be a murderer,” May raised an eyebrow.

“In a government apartment building?” The brunette got up and walked over to the front door.

“You never know these days.”

The morning air was already warm and muggy as they made their way out of the front door of the complex. It was mid-spring and by the looks of it, gearing up to be a hot summer, something that no one over the age of ten truly enjoyed.

“So, hear that you and Nat are over,” May cut straight to the chase as she started jogging on a path they had created years prior.

“And I heard that you and Phil were thinking about having a kid,” two could play this game. 

“I asked first,” the woman next to her tilted her head in question "we can get to my shit later." 

Maria huffed and increased the tempo as they got to the park across the street, “she’s on requested leave right now. In Russia. Most likely because of the intel I gave her.”

“Russia huh?” Melinda turned down the running path while she thought about this, “any idea what she's doing?”

“Yeah, but if I tell you then we're both going to get in trouble if it gets out,” Maria knew that the agent next to her liked to stay in the dark and claim deniability. 

“That bad?” she questioned. 

“Not great, but it’s Tasha so I’m sure it will all work out.”

“Now you sound like Phil.”

“Who told me that you guys were maybe thinking about kids?” She pretended not to notice the tempo increase as the subject was brought up. 

“We’ve both always wanted them. Just... after Bahrain, I thought that I would never want them again but now,” she breathed out, “I’ve made progress in therapy and feel like it’s back in the cards.”

“That’s really exciting May,” Maria smiled and for the first time in a long time, it was genuine, “you guys would make great parents if that’s what you chose to do.”

They continued to run and talk for over an hour just as they did most Saturday mornings, the routine of it all put the commander at ease. An ease that continued even after she showered and stared at the draft of the email she had created the night before. She checked and then double-checked the location.

The satellite image showed the same billboard and would have had the sunset during the same hour that she saw it in the portal. It had to be the building, she had no doubt about it but still felt nervous as her mouse hovered over the “Send” button, but just as she did with her video reply to Natasha, she clicked it before being able to overthink. 

Fury’s response was almost immediate as he informed her that they would be pursuing it come Monday morning. The thought was that if they had agents on the other side of the portal, they could ensure the safety of the window until the energy source was completely understood. 

She stretched out on the couch and pulled out the remote that hadn’t been used since the last movie night she and Natasha had. The movie had been good from what she remembered from the beginning, after that neither of them were focused on that form of entertainment anymore. Still, she searched for it and started it over again, relaxing into the weekend. 

“Dr. Selvig’s lab, ASAP,” Fury’s voice cut through the speaker. 

“Yes, sir.” She tried her best to make it sound as if she wasn’t dead asleep at 3am on Sunday. 

Her feet hit the floor and she was off, it took 4 minutes for her to be ready to go as soon as she got up. Something she had gotten good at in the Army, something she had perfected at SHIELD. 

Her eyes glanced down at her phone as she waited for the elevator to the garage, Natasha had texted her earlier in the night. Every 12 hours as requested, the Russian had checked in to let her know that she was still alive but gave no details of how her personal mission was going. 

The engine of her car turned over and she pulled out of the space, hitting the freeway 7 minutes after Fury had called her. This time of day (night?) left the city much less busy, by the time she got from the less populated roads to the countryside where the lab was located, she was practically alone. There wasn’t anything to go off of Fury’s call and the unknown made her hands sweat on the steering wheel as she thought of the possibilities. 

However, as she descended the staircase, she realized that none of the possibilities that she had accounted for would have prepared her for what she saw. The whole room shook as she walked into the hallway connected to the main area where the tesseract was fluorescing bright blue. Fury met her as she walked down the corridor, Phil at his side. It seemed he had also gotten the call.

“Campus should be clear in the next half hour,” the agent said as the energy source caused the metal around it to groan. 

“Do better,” Fury gave a quick glance as he continued down the hallway Maria occupying the now empty spot. 

“Sir, if we can't control the tesseract's energy, there may not be a minimum safe distance,” her mind began to spin for a moment as she thought of the possible casualties. This was why she didn't want to get involved in this mission in the first place.  

“I need you to make sure the phase two prototypes are shipped out,” he didn't look at her as he continued to walk.

“Sir is that really a priority right now we-” she started and stopped as soon as the older man turned around to face her. 

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on,” he continued to walk “clear out the tech below, every piece of phase two on a truck and gone.”

“Yes, sir,” this time she didn’t even try to mask the annoyance in her voice, “with me” she called out to two agents that had been standing in the room. 

The three of them continued on towards the lowest level of the building where the Phase Two items were stored. They had gotten to the door of the holding unit before the entire structure began to shake, causing her to lose her footing to the point where she almost fell over. 

“Woah there,” Barton appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and pushed her upright again. 

“What the fuck was that?” she looked at the agent next to her who shrugged, “okay, you two get all of these boxes onto the truck.”

She swiped her ID card to open the door and pointed to a nearby flatbed truck, “Every crate that you can get successfully stored in there. Radio me when they're loaded and I’ll come back and drive out with you.”

“Yes, ma’am,” they both said while walking into the small room, picking up crates.

“Barton, you and I are going to see what the hell just happened,” she started running back to the main entrance. 

By the time they got back, the tesseract was glowing bright enough for Maria to squint. The whole room continued to shake as Barton got closer to the device. 

“Hill, I told you to get phase two out of here!” Fury barked from across the room. 

“I handled it!” she yelled back, partially because of the loud noise that was now coming from the power source, partially because he needed to be yelled at.  

More noise and light was being emitted now and she turned her back slightly behind the bulletproof glass to save her vision. But, just as quickly as it started, it was over. She turned around and was now facing the familiar office scene, the same one that she had viewed for a week now. 

“Selvig?” Fury looked at the scientist who continued to type into a laptop and shake his head. 

Then, there was a flash of movement from the office space as the small girl stood in full view. Her hair was curly, her skin tan but sickly pale, and the circles under her eyes were dark, too dark for a child as young as this to have. She had on a pair of black shorts and a black shirt that was visibly tattered, there was no doubt she was not being cared for properly. She looked scared as she glanced around the room, her eyes continuing to shift to her left. If Maria had to guess, another person was standing there, right out of view of the portal. 

“Can we help you with something?” Fury called into the portal and the girl's bright green eyes snapped towards him.  

She continued to stand there for a moment more before a large hand pushed her through the opening. Maria breath hitched as the girl fell through on her hands and knees, her body splayed out on the ground for a moment before she crawled up, wobbling for a moment. 

“Safe then,” a black-haired man called out from the other side of the portal, “I am the god Loki of Asgard.”

He paused to take a step through the portal, his legs failing him briefly as he stepped through. Unlike the child, he remained upright as he walked from one side to the other, “I am burdened with glorious purpose.” 

No one moved, the tension in the air was palpable until the Asgardian smiled and narrowed his eyes. There was a sudden explosion of activity as he used a spear in his hand to send blasts of power into devices and agents in the room. The small child had placed her hands over her ears as the activity became louder and closer to her head. Maria sent off round after round into the god's back, doing little more than pissing him off. 

Clint was the first to make physical contact with the god, sending quick jabs to his ribs until the spear touched the archer's sternum. Immediately Clint stood straight and holstered his weapon, his eyes becoming milky and blue. It was clear he was no longer in control of his body. Maria’s first thought was how she was going to tell Laura.

The Commander fired more rounds until she was out of ammo, the god moved from his position over the scientist towards her, rearing back his spear. 

“Sir,” Clint spoke up just as Maria closed her eyes, waiting for death, “This place is about to blow and bury us in 100 feet of concrete.”

The god looked up and saw the ball of energy that had gathered at the ceiling, “Yes, very well. Everyone back through.”

He motioned for Selvig and Clint to walk back through the portal which was now warping slightly. He grabbed the back of the shirt of the girl who had still been standing with her ears covered and shoved her towards the glowing power source. 

Fury started towards it but not as fast as the child who had run to pick up the tesseract as the rest of her group entered the portal. Even though this had clearly been a planned event, the girl still faltered as she picked up the blue cube. Her whole body shook violently as it was in her hand, her skin glowing in the same shade of blue. 

“Hand it over,” Fury went to reach for the child and the power source that were now near convolutions on the ground.

The child's body calmed and her head snapped towards the portal and she ran on unstable legs towards it, falling through just as it closed.   

“Phase two loaded, ma’am,” her radio crackled to life. 

“Get out of here,” she called back into it, her eyes still on the spot where the child had been. 

“Romanoff is the closest,” she spoke into her headset to her boss on the jet. 

“Then get here there,” he looked over to the Russian’s handler who glanced over to Maria.

“Coulson, get her on the phone. You stay on the carrier and call the mission, I’ll take a team to Russia for extraction of them both.” The commander was in her element, there was a reason she was called mission-control-Maria.  

“Got it,” Phil got up and pulled out his phone to dial a number. 

“Can you keep it professional?” Fury looked over at her from his copilot seat. 

“She’s not my asset, that’s why Coulson will call it,” she tried to dodge the question. 

“I can’t fuck up anymore Hill, the council is already going to be on my ass for losing it,” his voice was stern, “You need to promise me you can get this done, no question, no going overboard because she’s your girlfriend. I need my deputy director right now, not Maria.”

“You have my word,” she didn’t look over at him and continued to pilot the jet. 

Even though he had moved towards the back of the jet, the two up front could still hear just about every word Phil said on the phone. 

“I’m calling for the Widow,” he spoke into the phone and waited before sighing and starting in, his handler voice coming out strong, “you are at 1-14 slinky plaza, 3rd floor. We have an F-22 exactly 8 miles out. Put the woman on the phone or I will blow up this block before you can make the lobby.” 

It was crunch time and if they didn’t get Natasha to the office building soon, there was no telling what would happen to Clint or the tesseract. 

“We need you to come in,” he paused, “this takes precedence… fine, hang on.”

The brunette heard his footsteps approach before he reached the front, she already knew what he was going to ask. 

“She’s-” the handler started.

“Yeah,” the woman cut him off and took the phone, “Coulson is right, we need you in.” 

“It’s my time off Hill, I’m working,” the Russian's voice echoed in whatever room she was in. 

“Wouldn’t ask unless it was an emergency, Romanoff,” she knew she was about to get her way. 

“You owe me, you owe me so fucking much Maria. I had him, this moron was giving me everything about the Red Room, which is still active turns out, and I get pulled for what?” Natasha’s voice was loud and angry. 

“For Barton,” she kept her voice-controlled, “he’s been compromised.”

“Give me the coordinates.” 

Maria rattled off the numbers and ended the call, focusing solely on the sky in front of her.

“You gave me your word, Hill,” Fury’s voice is low as he gives a statement that sounds more like a question. 

“I intend on keeping it sir,” she keeps her eyes on the blinking ship that was now coming into view, “Touch down in five, Coulson, I want your team waiting on the tarmac.”

“Copy,” the agent confirms before opening up coms and getting his agents in line. 

Her face was neutral but all she could think about is the safety of Clint and the distress of Natasha as she made her way south to the coordinates. The winds were strong as they reached the base, a team of agents waiting for them just as she had requested. 

“Coms will be up and running as soon as I reach the bridge,” Phil had walked up to the cockpit as soon as they landed, “you want point on this?”

Fury eyed her as he unbuckled and stood up.

“I’ll take point but I want your eyes on everything, agent cams on the whole time,” she knew that she could handle it and wasn’t sure why Fury was so adamant about her keeping her composure. As if that had ever been a problem with her in the past. 

“God speed,” Phil gave her a wink and walked off the jet with Fury in tow. 

“Hill,” the older man called out as he reached the ramp.

“Sir?”

“Bring them home, don’t die,” he gave firm nod.

For as long as she could remember, this was the way that the Director sent her off on missions. Granted, she was only a field agent for a few years before becoming a handler, but he still used to send her off every time with the command of not dying. So far, it had worked and she had always made it back in one piece. 

“Got it, sir,” she gave her own nod and turned back to the controls, watching the fuel gauge creep higher and higher as the crew refilled the jet. 

She waited for the crackle of Coulson’s coms to turn on before getting up from her spot in the pilot's chair. The agents had all been seated in jumper seats that lined the jet, all snapping their attention to her and falling silent as she made her way to the back of the jet. 

“Cams and coms on, whole time no acceptions,” she pressed the ramp button and watched it close. The confined space instantly becoming quiet, “read up on all of the intel Agent Coulson will be sending as we travel. Expect a 45-minute flight and possible laser fire as we land.” 

She didn’t know if the god would still be present when they arrived, but she wanted to give them as much information as possible. 

“Laser fire ma’am?” a dark-haired agent with an accent asked.

“That is correct, everyone buckle in. Torres with me, wheels up in 2,” she walked back to the cockpit with one of the more senior agents. 

They both buckled in silently, she didn’t need a co-pilot but was required by SHIELD to have one when necessary. Torres was competent and she had used him as a co-pilot before when he was still on one of her teams. They taxied down the runway and were gone as soon as they came, efficient just as she needed. 

The flight was quick and painless, which would have been fine but with no distractions it left more time for the Commander to worry about Natasha and Clint. Coulson had checked in several times to let her know when Natasha was expected to arrive on the scene and that there hadn't been any suspicious activity picked up via satellite. The Russian was going to get there a few minutes before they did, and was advised to stay put until the team reached her location. Maria doubted this was how it would go, and realized that Fury had not only wanted her to keep her composure but try to maintain Natasha’s as well. 

“Torres, take over,” she instructed as she unbuckled and walked to the back of the jet that once again fell silent as she approached, “Reminder, your main objective is to provide support as we retrieve agent Barton, Dr. Selvig, and the power source. We are to assume that Barton and Selvig are under mind control, if you are approached by either use the tranquilizers you were all given to incapacitate. Any questions?”

She waited for a few seconds, until the dark-haired agent once again spoke up, “Ma’am, Agent Coulson gave us an advisory to keep distant from the dark-haired person named Loki, do you have any idea what that distance looks like?”

The agent was confused but by the looks of it, not scared. She glanced down to check his nameplate, Mason. She would have to look into him later, he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders, not afraid to ask clarifying questions. 

“Good question, Loki has a spear that he uses to fire laser shots,” she didn’t know how else to describe it, “he also used this to control agent Barton and Dr. Selvig, do not allow it to touch you. Any other questions?”

The agents all looked at each other and shook their heads, “great, prepare for landing.”

Her coms had beeped once as they landed, indicating that she was now being patched through to Natasha’s device as well. When flying they tried their best to keep the communications limited to radio towers and only one handler who could deliver information as needed.  

“Building to the southeast, Romanoff has already engaged and you are now being connected with her,” Phil was calm and collected on the other side. 

“Copy, mission is a go starting now,” she walked to the back of the jet and opened the ramp, “rollout.”

She unholstered her weapon and started walking southeast with the team behind her, the sky was still dark as they continued to walk, the only light coming from a few street lamps that still had functional bulbs. Coulson continued to give instructions on where they should be going, but they were unnecessary. The entire block was filled with old, rundown office buildings, only one was facing the coat billboard. Only one was in the middle of a firefight. 

“Any day now, Hill!” Natasha’s voice was loud in her ear.  

Within a minute they were making their way up the staircase inside the building and towards the source of the action. The redhead was pinned on one side, using filing cabinets as cover, as arrows and laser blasts were coming from the other. Even in the mostly dark room Maria could see the glazed-over eyes of Barton and tried to come up with a game plan to get him alone and sedated. 

“You four,” she turned to the team, “support Agent Romanoff and pull fire. You four with me, pull out tranqs.” 

The agents did exactly as they were told, she had made it halfway through the office space before Loki stood in front of her, blocking her path. Before she could fire a shot, Natasha had, the bullet flying through the god. She reached out her hand and that also fell through the god. It wasn't real. 

“Watch for holograms,” she spoke into her coms device for the agents to hear. 

They continued moving towards the mind-controlled individuals from the side, reaching the scientist first. He tried his best to put up a fight but the man was clearly not versed in combat and was quickly sedated by agent Mason who stepped around Selvig’s flailing arms and injected him.  

“Doc is down, eyes on Barton?” Maria called into her device.

“Actively firing from the top left section of the room,” Phil answered, he had clearly been watching the cams. 

“Engaging him now,” Natasha called out as she made a dash across the office.

The team was still pulling the attention from the god who continued to fire shot after shot, one hand on the spear, the other on the power source. Agents were closing in on him as he frantically looked around. 

“Drop the weapon and put your hands on your head,” Maria commanded, getting him to look at her and the reaming agents who were now closing in on him. 

“Oh I don’t follow orders, I make them,” he smiled and sent a blast towards her head that she narrowly dodged. 

“You’re outnumbered, you have no other option” she kept her gun trained at his head. 

“But I do,” his smile grew as a window of darkness opened behind him and he fell in.

“Power source and the god are gone,” she said through gritted teeth as she made her way over to the fight still going on between the spies. 

Natasha had landed blow after blow to Barton's sides, but he was just as skilled and had a height and weight advantage. An advantage he was now using as he pinned her down and drew a knife from his boot.

With one swift blow to the side of the face, the archer was unconscious. 

“Thanks,” Natasha breathed out as she pushed the body of her partner off to the side. 

Maria hummed her response and reached out her hand to helped the Russian up, wincing slightly at the pain in her hand from punching Barton. 

“Barton and Selvig secure, returning to quinjet now,” she relayed over coms. 

“See you soon,” the handler replied.

Maria looked around the office at the damage that had been done, most of the furniture had large burn marks covering it from what she could tell in the dim lighting. There was blood in areas and the smell of burnt plastic filled the space. 

“Count off,” she called into the space and was relieved to hear a number come from every agent's mouth, all accounted for, “rollout.”

On the way into the building, they had used flashlights and the burst of gunfire to guide their way. Now the building was dark and most of the agents were needed to carry portable stretchers holding an unconscious agent and scientist, they all stumbled through the darkness, rushing to get back to the sparsely light street level. 

As they made it outside, Maria thanked whatever god was watching out for their ankles and looked back at the building that was in stark contrast from how she had found it. It was now totally dark without the flashes of gunfire. 

Or at least it was dark when she had first turned around, but now there was a slight glow from the fourth floor.

“Romanoff,” she got the agent's attention, “tell me I’m not going crazy.”

Natasha let go of the canvas that was holding an unconscious Clint and looked up along with the rest of the team. A deep crease formed between her eyes as she squinted at the level. 

“Not crazy, or at least we're both going crazy together,” she continued to keep her gaze on the light that was now glowing brighter until she darted her eyes back to her best friend. 

“Go ahead,” the brunette motioned for her to rejoin the group, knowing that it stressed her to be any distance from the archer, “Torres, I want the jet up and running by the time I’m back. Mason, with me.” 

“Yes ma’am,” the agent responded and continued to walk with the rest of the team back to the jet.

“Same floor that we were on?” she asked the man next to her as she approached the building they had just come out of. She was pretty sure it was the level below but wanted to see if he was observant. 

“No, ma’am,” he counted the levels, “I think that it’s the level below. Actually, two below.”

She looked up, it had been the level below, but now there was a light blue glow indeed coming from the third floor. Briefly, she regretted sending the team back, there was no telling what they were about to come across. 

“Keep your eyes on it,” the front door opened and they made their way back to the staircase, the light blue glow reflecting off of the glass. 

The door to the third floor was missing as they walked through the office space that was a near replica of the one from the fourth floor. Both agents had their weapons drawn as they walked through the space, getting closer to the corner of the office where the blue light was getting brighter. 

“Ma’am,” Mason stopped as he spotted the source first. 

In the corner of the room, pressed against the glass windows of the building was the little girl from the portal. Her eyes were wide and scared as she tried her best to couch in an attack stance. The dark hair around her face was curly and wild, her clothes were too big and did little to cover the bones that protrude from her skin. She was scared and young. She was also fluorescing blue. 

“Hi there,” Maria holstered her gun and crouched down, “I’m Maria and this is…” she didn’t know Mason's first name. 

“Rick,” the man next to her said quietly as he too holstered his gun. 

“What’s your name?” she tried her best to think of how she was supposed to talk to kids. 

The little girl just stared back, her green eyes flickering between the two adults. 

“Do you have anyone around that we can help you find?” Maria inched forward, a mistake. 

The girl was suddenly engulfed in a portal that was barely large enough to let her tiny frame through. 

“What the fuck?” Mason called out, followed quickly by a “sorry ma’am.”

“No, what the fuck is right,” she breathed out and looked around, unsure of where the girl could be. Her first thought was that she was now wherever Loki had ended up, but as she looked out the window she saw a faint blue reflection from the fourth floor. 

“Commander Hill, we are up and running,” Torres spoke through her coms device. 

“Yep, we're going to need a little more time,” she answered, moving towards the stairwell once again.

They climbed the stairs and were back in the office space that still smelled of burning plastic. The girl had now shoved herself under a desk, the glowing was fainter this time. 

“Hi, it’s me and Rick again,” she kept a wide distance this time as she came into the girls' view, “we’re just trying to help you. Help? Do you understand?”

Her eyes remained on Maria but she made no indication that she understood what was being said. Her hair fell in her eyes and she quickly shoved it away, keeping her eyes trained on the adults the whole time. 

The brunette tried to memorize every aspect of the child in case she was gone in a second again. The scabs on her knobby knees were dark and large, her lips were cracked and she had a number of bruises on her arms and legs. Maria’s heart ached as she took it in, and was glad that she did because as soon as the quinjet flew by the girl was gone again. 

“Out front when ready ma’am,” Torres relaid. 

“Fuck,” Maria glanced around for any sign of the girl. 

Just as she turned around to get a better look, the portal was back and the girl fell through. She came crashing down but just before she hit the ground she was taken into another tiny portal. Over and over again the girl fell through the portals, gaining speed as she did so. 

“It’s a loop,” she watched the girl, her eyes scared and barely open. 

“She’s about to pass out from g-force, ma’am,” Mason saw it too. 

He was correct, the next time she fell through her eyes were closed and her body limp. Her limbs were centimeters away from hitting the edge of the portal, and at this speed, Maria was pretty sure she would break them if they hit the side. 

In a moment of action, the commander ran towards the portal and tackled the girl horizontally. Her body floated for a moment before they both came crashing through the other side, Maria taking the brunt of the force to her shoulder. She looked down at the little girl in front of her, still unconscious, but breathing.  

“Be advised we're bringing another person on board,” she called into her coms. 

“Another person?” Phil’s voice came through this time. 

“A child,” she looked at the little girl in front of her, unsure of what else to do. 

Chapter Text

There was a sleeping child in Maria Hill’s arms and she had no idea what to do about it as she boarded the jet. 

“Want me to take her ma’am?” Mason asked from her side. 

She wasn't sure if it was because she looked uncomfortable with the child, or if he was just being polite, but either way, she nodded and handed the limp child over. The cockpit wasn’t large enough for more than two people anyway, this was better. 

“Wheels up in two,” her hands found her restraints with ease, her headset resting comfortably over her ears. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Torres said from his spot next to her, flipping switches until the engines roared to life.

The carrier had moved closer since they left on the mission so the flight back wouldn't be as long. The commander knew that she only had so long before they would be landing again and having to go back to the real world which included Fury being angry about the lost power source. She thought of ways that she could try and track it down again, Selvig probably knew a way to do this. 

“Where are Barton and Selvig?” Maria spoke into the headset and watched her co-pilot use his thumb to indicate toward the back of the jet. 

“Holding cells one and two ma’am,” he kept his eyes on the dark sky in front of him 

“Take over,” she transferred controls and took off her headset, making her way to the back. 

The jet was much quieter than normal, the usual talking and card-playing had been reduced to murmurs and silent games. Still, the agents sat up straighter as she walked down the center of the aircraft. It was only as she approached the middle of the jet that she realized why everyone had been so quiet. 

There, still in Mason’s arms, lay the girl that they had brought back with them. Her eyes were still closed, but this time she looked more comfortable even as almost every agent stared at her. Maria approached the three agents that had pushed their bodies together to allow for her to use them as a make-shift bed. 

“How’s it going over here?” she glanced between Mason and the other two agents. 

“Just fine,” the accented agent responded, his arms staying put around the girl's waist. 

“She opened her eyes for a second,” the female agent to the left commented, “but then she fell back asleep.”

“Okay, I want you to bring her to the medbay as soon as we touch down, off the jet right behind Barton and Selvig,” she watched them nod, “let me know if there are any issues.”

She continued on her way to the back of the jet, watching the agents around her straighten up before returning their gaze back to the sleeping child. Her knuckles rapped on the metal door before she turned the knob to let herself in. 

“Hey Ria,” Natasha barely looked up from her spot in the chair next to Barton’s cot. 

“Hey,” she leaned against the doorway, “how is he?”

“Unconscious,” the Russian took her partner's hand again, “but alive.”

“Want me to call Laura?” Blue eyes met green as she gave an honest offer. 

“It’s okay, you have enough on your plate already, I can give her a call as soon as we land,” Natasha sighed and ran a thumb across the archer's knuckles. 

“I’m sorry,” Maria leaned her head back and closed her eyes, “about Russia, about the Red Room. I’m sorry we pulled you.”

“It’s part of the job and life. I know he would have done the same for me.”

“How about as soon as all of this mess gets cleared up, I’ll help you track everyone down again. I’ll approve all of your time off,” she shook her head, “I’ll even take time off with you if you need back up.”

“You’re telling me that the Deputy Director of SHIELD is willing to take time off for me?” the redhead let out a low whistle, “man, you really are into me huh?”

“You’re such a pain in the ass Romanoff,” the older agent opened her eyes to look at the woman in front of her, “I retract my offer.”

“No no no!” Natasha laughed, “I like it, I like that you’re into me and willing to track down a ghost organization for me.” 

The commander smiled for a moment,  she likes that I’m into her . 

“Fifteen ‘til touch down,” Torres' voice came over the intercom.   

“I have to go check on Selvig,” Maria stood up straight. 

“Saved by the bell,” the redhead chuckled, “come by the medbay tonight?”

“If Fury doesn’t kill me first,” she responded, reaching for the door even as her heart rate increased. 

The second holding cell door was already open as she approached, voices coming from it. 

“Glad to see you’re awake Doc,” she watched the agents snap their attention from the man and towards her. 

“Ah Deputy Director, glad to be awake!” He smiled and laughed. 

“Listen, I need something to give the Director when we touch down, or we're both in deep shit,” she couldn’t think too much about it before spiraling out.

“I believe that I will be able to triangulate the location as soon as it is used with the right equipment,” he furrowed his brow, “it uses gamma radiation, something that is traceable but only detectable with certain machinery.” 

“Thanks for the heads up, buckle in for landing,” she exited the room and walked back through the jet. 

She glanced over to the child still in Mason’s lap as she passed by, noticing her moving for the first time since she fell through endless portals. There was absolutely no explanation for that, or for losing the tesseract but she was going to need to come up with one and fast. 

By the time they landed, all she could think of was getting her hands on equipment or resources that would be able to search for gamma rays. Two of the people that Fury wanted on his Avengers Initiative roster could help with that. That was as far as she had gotten as she stood up and watched the agents exit the jet. 

“Debrief in 30!” she yelled into the crowd, they knew the drill, but now she was positive none of them could use the excuse that they forgot on her.   

The jet was empty as she exited, watching the crew come on to service the aircraft. 

“My office,” Fury was waiting for her at the end of the ramp.

“Debrief in 30, sir,” she tried to buy herself more time. 

“It's only going to take 90 seconds for me to yell at you,” he turned and expected her to fall into step at his right hand. She did. 

The walk to his office was fast, she had no way to come up with a solution at the speed they were traveling. By the time they reached his door all she could do was lower her head and stand in front of his desk. 

“Where is the Tesseract, Hill?” 

“I don’t know, sir, but I believe-” she tried to give him an answer she had come up with. 

“No,” he barked, “why do you not know its location?”

“Because it was taken along with Loki through a portal,” she kept her gaze straight ahead. 

“And you couldn't stop him because?”

“Because I’m not trained on the correct way to approach portals, sir,” she thought back to the child. She didn’t know how to approach the portal but she still found a solution. 

“Because you’re not trained on the correct way to- Hill why did I hire you?” he raised his voice.

“Because I’m quick on my feet and know how to adapt, sir,” she had heard him say it countless times, including when she was promoted to deputy director. 

“Because you’re quick on your mother-fucking feet and know how to adapt!” he yelled at her. 

She stood there and let the words hit her, there was no use in fighting back when he was as angry as he was. Waiting for him to come to his senses wouldn't take long, but until he got to that point she would continue to be yelled at. 

“You know the importance of the power source do you not? Or am I talking to a rookie?” He continued to yell, “No, a rookie would have known better. A- a fourth-grader maybe wouldn't have known what to do. Am I talking to a fourth grader?”

“No sir.”

“Dismissed. Back here as soon as the debrief is over.” He knew that he was too worked up. 

“Yes, sir,” she squared her shoulders, and left the room. 

“Maria!” Coulson called out from his office as soon as Fury’s door was closed. 

The last thing she wanted to do right now was interact with anyone, but if there was one person who she could deal with right now, it was Phil. He was a friend first, and that would always be a rule in her mind. 

Her hand closed the door to his office too harshly as she followed him into it. He was smiling (because Phil was always smiling) as he sat down and offered her a cup of coffee that she gladly took.  

“Rip into you?” He cocked his head to the side. 

“A proper undressing,” she sipped the too-hot coffee and tried not to think about how she would rather burn her whole mouth than to get yelled at like that again, “one that will probably have a round two as soon as my debrief is over.”

“Yikes,” he blew on his coffee and took a small sip, “so there’s a kid.”

She nodded, “there’s a kid.”

“Tell me about her,” he smiled again.

“Why?” she raised an eyebrow and took another sip.

“Well, someone’s gotta take that on and we were just talking about May and I having a kid and so I thought…”

“Phil, I love you, you know I love you, but I don’t know if this is the right call.”

“Why?” he parroted her.

“Because she’s a street kid who was working for Hydra or the Red Room and oh I don't know, she can teleport!” she watched the agent in front of her nod and contemplate this. 

“Well… someone’s gotta do it right?” 

She thought about this for a moment, it hadn’t really crossed her mind that the child would have to go somewhere one day. She assumed that the child would be put up for adoption, or that she would be placed under observation by scientists, and then… well she hadn’t really thought any further after that. 

“I guess,” she glanced at her watch, “you really think Mel would be okay with the whole situation?”

“We were in the middle of a conversation about adoption last night before Fury called,” he smiled, “and I don't think there would be a better place for an enhanced kid to grow up. Think about it, we're here all the time anyway and she could learn to harness the powers or I don't know, learn how to help the world if that’s really what she wanted.”

“Already thinking about your kid as a superhero huh?” Maria teased half-heartedly. 

“I’m just saying we have the resources,” he smiled again, “I’m going to go check on her in a little bit, if you’re up for it swing by the medbay after Fury round two.”

“I will. I told Tasha I would come check on Barton too,” she stood up, downed her coffee, and went to leave, “bye Phil.”

“Bye Ria," he called out after her. 

She had successfully debriefed the agents from the mission and convinced Fury that everything would be alright by the time lunch had rolled around. Phil would reach back out to Tony Stark and try to get him to lend equipment so that they could track the gamma rays. That tracking would come courtesy of Bruce Banner, a theoretical physicist, famed for his work in the studies of nuclear physics and, more importantly, gamma radiation. 

Things were starting to look up as she carried several sandwiches to the med bay where a loud crashing sound was coming from. Without looking, she knew one of her people would be at the epicenter of the noise. Sure enough, as she turned the corner, she was met with a wild-eyed Clint Barton. Eyes that darted around, no longer hazy as they landed on the woman in front of him. 

“Hey there Clint,” she used her soft voice to talk to him, “care for a sandwich?”

Her hand grasped one of the shrink-wrapped items and chucked it semi-forcefully at his head. He caught it with ease and blinked a few times before Natasha skidded into view, relief hitting her face as soon as she saw the man was still nearby. 

“I- I-,” he blinked a few more times before looking down at the sandwich, “I’m…”

“Hungry?” she walked closer, he continued to look at the sandwich, “come on, let's go eat these somewhere that isn’t the medbay hallway.”

“Okay…” he followed her as she walked past a grateful Natasha. 

The three of them sat around his hospital room and peeled open the sandwiches, no one saying anything as they chewed the slightly soggy bread. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I love sandwiches but I feel like these,” she took another bite, “need work.”

“Could be worse,” the Russian piped up, “at least there’s sauce on these.”

“Condiments,” Maria corrected. 

“Condiments,” Clint confirmed, “but I’m with Tasha, could be worse.” 

“You peg me for an American cheese and ham type of kid,” the Commander tried to keep the conversation light as the blonde continued to recover. 

“On white bread,” he nodded and took another bite, “let me guess, club turkey sandwiches only?”

She laughed at this, she was NOT raised in an environment where club turkey sandwiches were readily available, “I mean I love them, but as a kid, I ate a lot of quesadillas and PB&J’s.” 

“Quesadillas aren’t sandwiches,” Clint argued.

“They were what was in my lunchbox at school,” she shrugged, “Tasha?”

“Oh, we didn’t do sandwiches in The Room,” she smiled.

“Just gruel?” Maria joked.

“A lot of stews for lunch, sometimes crackers or bread,” the redhead looked to her partner, “ham and cheese sandwiches even in the circus?”

He finished his sandwich and nodded, looking much more Barton-like, “it was cheap and you could make a lot with one loaf of bread.” 

They sat there and talked for a little while longer until the archer decided he felt well enough to call Laura and give her the rundown, Natasha promised to come back as soon as the call was over. She gave him a knowing look as if to say “I understand you don’t want to be alone right now.”

Maria opened the door and walked down the hallway with the redhead, going nowhere in particular. She was happy that they were together, even if it was during something as simple as this.  Get it together Maria, you’re not a love-struck teenager .  

“Thanks,” Natasha spoke first, “for stopping him, he kinda lost it in there when the nurses woke him up.”

“You don't have to thank me, I just chucked a sandwich at his head,” she smiled and looked down at the woman at her side.  

“A very well-placed sandwich,” the Russian smiled and looked up. 

In another lifetime, in another situation, in another universe, she would have leaned over and kissed the woman. Molding their mouths together in a desperate attempt to show how much they loved each other. But in this world, she just smiled back and continued walking down the long white corridor that was too bright and smelled too strongly of antiseptic. 

“Word on the street is you picked up a kid,” the green-eyed woman questioned and suddenly they had a destination to get to. 

“Well tell your sources that it’s not just any kid, and she’s already spoken for,” Maria knew that Clint and Natasha’s ‘sources’ were themselves. They would overhear something they weren’t supposed to and would always say that a ‘source’ told them. 

“Pray tell,” she sounded taken back.

“Kid can teleport, Phil and Mel are looking into taking her in I guess,” she was happy for them but scared that they might be in over their heads. 

“Teleport?” Natasha stopped and looked at the woman next to her. 

“Yeah, like Loki did in that building. She’s enhanced.”

“Wait, is this the same kid you saw in the portal last week?”

“I think so. You were right, the last word on that board was teleport, not transport.”

The Russian thought about this for a second before looking back down the corridor they had just come from, “keep me updated on that, I gotta get back to Barton.”

“Will do, maybe I’ll swing by later?” the Commander blushed slightly, unsure of why she said that. 

“Good, we have dates to discuss… for time off I mean,” it wasn’t often that the spy tripped up over her words, it was adorable every time. 

“Look forward to it,” Maria waved as she continued down the hallway. 

If she was in any other line of work, the sight that she was greeted with would have concerned her as she reached the last room on the left. The glass doors were closed but she could still see into the room. Phil was sitting on the bed in the center of the room, talking to the table across from him where Maria assumed the child was hiding underneath. The blankets were strewn across the room, and an IV pole had been toppled over. 

“Be careful in there ma’am,” a young, frazzled agent called out from the nurse station behind her, “they’ve been like that for an hour.”

“Agent Coulson has been in there the whole time?” she watched the man continue to talk.

“Whole-time,” the young man confirmed, “he kicked everyone else out once she started kicking and scratching.”

“Scratching?” Maria turned around to look at the nurse's station.

“We tried to keep her from tearing her IV out and she had a total tantrum, started kicking and scratching everyone who got close,” he sounded annoyed as he raised his arm to reveal large scratch marks down his arm. 

“She’s a scared child Agent,” the deputy director reminded him. 

“Right, ma’am.”

She walked over to the door, swiped her badge to unlock it, and slid it open ever so gently, still getting the attention of the man on the bed. 

“I said no one in here,” his voice was low and stern. 

“So I heard,” she responded, keeping her distance. 

He turned to look at his friend, his face tired, a large scratch running down his neck, “sorry, Ria.”

“That’s okay,” her eyes scanned the room for any movement of the other person in the room, “any progress?”

“Well, she stopped kicking me about 30 minutes ago and it looks like her IV port stopped bleeding,” he sighed and ran his hand over his face. 

“Has she shown you her special talent yet?” the brunette tried to joke. 

“Once, one second she was over here, and then she was back on the bed. Scared the shit out of me, but it looks like it scared her too because she scurried back to her hidey-hole as soon as it happened.”

The Commander walked further into the room, being careful to stay quiet and keep her hands in sight. She sat down on the furthest spot on the bed and looked over to the table that the child had tucked herself under. The space was tiny but she had wedged herself into it, green eyes darting over to Maria as she sat down. For an instant, it looked like the child recognized her and the older woman smiled; a second later, her eyes were narrowed back on Phil. 

“This is my friend Maria,” he smiled and put his hand on the deputy director's shoulder, “she found you in the building.”

The little girl's eyes darted between the two of them before falling back onto Phil. 

“I doubt she speaks English, Phil.”

“Well, I said ‘hi’ to her in like 10 different languages and she didn’t respond to any of them so I don’t really know what to do,” he sounded defeated. 

“Have you tired… bribing her?” She had spent time around cousins that were younger than her but was pretty much totally out of her wheelhouse. 

“This article says that it’s bad to bribe kids because it ‘teaches children that they can get something they want by acting out.’” he sighed and held up his phone with a paper loaded on the screen. 

“Parenting books already huh?”

“I don’t know what else to do, Ria,” he closed his eyes and tilted his head back.

In the moment that his eyes were closed, the child closed hers tight and a portal emerged and sucked her in, she appeared on the bed before zapping back to the spot under the desk. The handler was right, it scared the shit out of all three of them. The little girl's eyes were wide and her lip trembled as she sat under the table. 

“Fuck,” the brunette exhaled, her own eyes wide. 

“Ria, language,” Coulson scolded.

“Really? She just teleported and you-” she started before he gave her a stern look, “okay, okay, sorry.”

The two of them sat in silence for a few more minutes, watching the girl in front of them who didn’t move other than to shift her gaze occasionally to the door and then back to the agents. 

“Okay, fine. Let’s try a bribe,” he looked around the room, there was nothing worthy of a good bribe in there, “man I could really go for candy right now, what about you Maria?”

Even though she didn’t think the child could understand her she nodded enthusiastically, “oh yeah, I would love candy right now.” 

Phil slowly got up, his hands raised so the girl could see them the whole time, “Well how about I go get some, and everyone on the bed when I get back can have some.”

The little girl watched him carefully, her eyes tracking him as he walked towards the door. 

“Okay, I’ll be on the bed when you get back so I can have candy,” she laid it on thick. 

“Sounds good Maria, I’ll be right back with candy and-” he reached for his card to swipe out of the room and stopped, “where’s my card?”

“What?” The Commander wasn’t sure if this was part of it.

“My swipe card, where is it?” He checked each pocket and looked back to the bed.  

“Really?” she looked around the sheets and couldn't see it, “I mean you had to swipe to get in here so,”

She thought back to the only action that had happened since she had gotten in the room. The girl had teleported next to Phil as soon as his eyes were closed. Big green eyes locked in on hers as she thought about what the most likely scenario was. The girl had probably been raised on the streets and by Hydra or the Red Room and been taught how to pickpocket. She was using her new abilities to do it even better. 

“She has it,” Maria stopped the man in his tracks as he lifted blankets to look for it. 

“What do you mean she has it?”

“I mean, when she teleported next to you, she snagged it,” the woman looked over to the child who, sure enough, had an item between her tiny hands, “well, it looks like no candy.”

“Yep,” Phil caught on, “we can only have candy if I can have my special card.”

Maria held up her own swipe card, “we need this card for candy,” she looked at the girl who glanced down briefly.

Maybe she knew English or maybe she got the hint because she stuck out one of her tiny arms from under the desk, card in hand. 

“Oh, thank you, honey! I was just looking for that,” Phil smiled and kept far enough away that he had to strain to pick up the card. 

As soon as he did, the arm ducked back under the table.

“Are you okay watching her?” He kept his voice low.

“Only if I get candy too,” she joked.  

The door opened and closed, the little girl’s eyes on it the whole time. As soon as the sound of the lock was engaged she shifted back to Maria who smiled awkwardly. If her best friends were going to adopt this kid, she was going to need to get better at interacting with children.  Maybe Phil was on to something with the parenting books . 

The minutes ticked on as the two of them stared at each other, the handler doing her best to come off as non-threatening as possible. She pulled out her phone and texted Natasha for an update on Barton. 

Maria: How’s thing 2 doing? You? Lar?

Natasha: 1 video msg. 

She looked at the child whose eyes seemed to be drooping a little with how tired she was. Figuring there wasn’t much else to lose, she clicked on the video and let it play out loud. 

“Hi Ria,” the redhead was squeezed into bed with Barton, “we’re good, docs said he should be able to head back by the morning after they get the results of his blood draw.”

“I got a juice box for being a good boy,” the archer joked and sucked on the straw. At the sound of juice, the little girl's head shot up. 

Maria paused the video and looked at her, “juice?”

Big eyes blinked back at her then glanced down at the phone. The woman shot off a text to Phil to bring back juice. Then, for the second time in 12 hours, Maria did something she normally wouldn’t. She slid off the bed and onto the floor, getting a little closer to the child who tried to make herself impossibly smaller and wedge further away. The deputy director opened the video back up and clicked play again. 

“Laura and the kids- ow,  mudak ” the redhead cursed in Russian at the elbow that connected with her ribs, “fine. Laura and the ducklings are fine.”  

Maria watched as the little girl scooted a little closer, her eyes on the screen of the phone. 

“Pretty much we're just hanging out until we get the green light, then I guess I’m off to talk to the scientist who gets all big and green. And you’re where?” The curls that framed her face bounced slightly as she turned her head to look at the man next to her. 

“Maybe back to the farm, or going to pick up some other people on Fury’s list with Steve,” he shrugged. 

They knew about the initiative, at some point Fury had convinced them to join it and start doubling down on recruitment. 

“Anyway, hope that you’re not too swamped with work. Come hang out later if you want,” the Russian gave a lopsided smile. 

“Bring more juice!” Barton's voice called out. The little girl looked as if she nodded, just barely.  

“Yeah bring more juice, talk to you soon, okaybye,” and then the woman's face was frozen on the screen, still smiling.     

In the time that they had watched the video, the girl had come halfway out from under the desk, her little body still hunched over. She looked like a tiny little bear coming out from a cave. 

“Do you understand me?” Maria tried to be as quiet as possible. 

The little girl just stared back, her face blank as she went to dart under the table again. Maria kept her phone out and scrolled through messages, landing on the muffin video that she hit play on. Again the child crept forward to watch the movements on the screen, her face hinting at a smile as Natasha panned the video over to show the small mountain of muffins they had collected. 

She watched the child, eyes glued to the screen, and once again tried to take in everything. Up close she could see that her shirt had holes around the collar and shorts that looked too big for her tiny frame. The curls on her head were matted in some areas, and the shoes on her feet were velcroed as tightly as possible which made sense considering they also looked too large for her. There were more bruises on her body this close, the scabs that she had noticed in the building were just the beginning of the injuries that littered the tiny frame of the girl’s body. Once again, she was reminded of a bear, but this time it was one that had been abused in a circus. Little bear indeed.    

The little girl’s head began to loll as she watched the screen until the door opened again and she snapped up quickly, moving under the table once more. 

“Ria?” Phil called into the room.

“Down here,” she called back from her spot on the floor. 

“Oh, hi,” the handler was surprised by her proximity to the child.

His hands were full of food and drinks that he put onto the bed, the child eying him the whole time. 

“Really Phil, salad?” 

“I wanted her to have options, and I don't think I can survive off  candy  alone,” he made a point to emphasize the word and he held up the shiny wrapper. 

This got the child's attention who eyed both people that were now perched on the bed, the food between them.  

“Juice,” Maria picked up one of the containers and shoved a straw through, taking a big drink of it. 

Eyes flickered to the box and then started to close tight.

“No,” the woman called out, watching the child’s eyes open up quickly, “no teleporting, you have to come sit over here.”

“I thought you said she doesn’t know English,” Phil protested. 

“I don’t know what she knows,” this time it was the brunette who stared at the child.

She squeezed her body out from the desk and put a hand out, a hand that shook until it was full of a juice box. 

“So, she likes juice,” Phil opened a package of crackers and popped one in his mouth. 

“And videos of Tasha,” she watched the child down most of the box in a few long sips. 

“Is that what you guys were doing down there?” he put another in his mouth. 

She nodded and laughed, “what happened to salad?”

“Salad sucks, I’m stressed,” he sipped from the juice box. 

He punctured another box and handed it to the child who shot her hand out to take it. Once again she downed it in a few long draws, this time she coughed as she reached the end. Phil instinctively reached forward to help, the child shoved herself back under the desk and continued to cough violently. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing Ria,” he pulled a hand over his face. 

“Well, the good news is, she doesn’t seem like she’s had someone that’s looked out for her before so it can only be an improvement from there.”

The little girl calmed down her coughing and stuck her hand out again, this time Phil opened a water bottle in it. After a moment of hesitation, and probably annoyance that it wasn't another juice box, the child drank from it. Her eyes looked heavy again and she put the water down. 

“Here,” Maria grabbed a cracker and handed it to the child who took it for a moment and then put it on the floor next to the water bottle. 

She watched the child for another moment before looking at her phone which started to buzz.

“Hi Fury,” she spoke as quietly as she could, watching the child’s eyes continue to close even as she tried to fight sleep off. 

“Hill, I need you at the bridge,” he responded. 

“Be there in 5,” she winced as the man next to her looked betrayed. 

Fury hung up, the man was never good with goodbyes. 

“But we’re making progress,” Phil protested with a whine.

“But the man who signs my paychecks needs me,” Maria mimicked his tone as she stood up carefully.

“Ha, as if he’s just the man who signs your paychecks,” he hit a nerve and she glared at him. It was one thing if she knew she had daddy issues, it was another for anyone else to bring them up. Even her friend. 

“Bye Phil,” she swiped her hard and unlocked the door. 

“No wait, Ria I’m sorry!” Coulson laughed.

“I gotta go,” she did feel bad, “I’ll stop by here tonight okay?” She was already going to swing by Barton’s room later. 

“Please,” he begged. 

“Bye, Phil” she exited the room but not before throwing another goodbye over her shoulder, “bye little bear.”

“What do you know about Thor?” The man with one eye asked as Maria approached him in the center of the command center.

“He’s a Norse god, made an appearance in New Mexico, lives in Asgard, and apparently has a brother,” she watched as the sun looked as if it was about to set, wherever they were headed it was already nighttime. 

“Do you think he would join the initiative?” 

It was an interesting question, from what she could tell, the God was similar to Steve in the way that he believed in helping others. But he also didn’t live on Earth and was probably busy with his own affairs in another world. She didn’t have any siblings so it was hard to tell if this would affect his willingness to join. 

“I think he would, but as more of a transient member, sir,” her eyes glanced over to a nearby monitor to see that they were headed for Kolkata, India. 

“But you think he would join,” the man pressed.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good because I already wrote him into the plan and gave it to the World Security Council,” he finally turned to look at her, “I need you to get Captain Rogers here. I’d ask Coulson but he’s already on Stark duty and I’m afraid he’d fan-girl too hard.” 

“Plus there’s the kid now,” Maria added. Already things were changing with her friend. 

“Come talk to me about that,” Fury walked towards his office. 

He sat behind the large desk and instructed the security system to make it a secure room. The windows were blocked out and the computer to his left turned off. 

“The kid,” the man’s entire face changed as he spoke the two words, he now looked less on edge and more concerned. 

“I don’t know a lot about her,” Maria dropped the harsh demeanor that she normally portrayed. 

“So it’s a girl?” again the man looked softer. 

This was another one of the conversations that the Commander didn't know how to categorize. They were talking as friends now, the man in front of her wanted to know about what was going on, but not as a boss. Not as the director of SHIELD but something else. 

“Yeah, she’s tiny and been through the wringer by the looks of it,” she thought back to the injuries that covered the girl, “I’m thinking maybe Hydra or… a member of the Red Room.”

“Romanoff and Barton took that down years ago,” his voice was suspicious as he looked at her. 

“That’s what everyone thought, until recently. Natasha isn’t so sure anymore,could be a key detail in that story,” she shrugged. 

“You think the Red Room is not only still active but has figured out teleportation?”

“No, I think that maybe she was part of the Red Room. And then Loki taught her that? Or maybe there's something else about the tesseract that we don't know,” there were too many variables. 

“So now the government owns a teleporting child,” he sighed loudly, “what am I supposed to do with a teleporting child?”

“Phil wants to look into adopting her, full time,” she leaned forward and lowered her voice.

“Phil? Really?” it was starting to feel more like a gossip session and the Commander was LIVING for it. 

“That’s what he’s saying.”

“But I thought that after Bahrain-” he stopped, not sure how to continue that sentence.

“I thought so too, but Phil said that therapy has been helping and he and Mel were talking about it the night you called,” she gave a small smile and shrugged again. 

“Interesting,” the older man leaned back in his chair in thought, “that’s going to change a few things.”

“Probably,” she thought of Laura and how she retired after Cooper, but she also knew other agents who had kids and still worked full time, “you ever want kids, sir?”

“For a moment in the mid 90’s but I guess it wasn’t in the cards for me,” he sat up a touch straighter, “you?”

“I’m just hitting my stride in work. I don’t think a kid would be the best choice career-wise,” she too straightened up, “plus I’m 30 and single.”

“Single,” the man scoffed. 

“I am!” she argued back, fighting off a smile. 

“Well, I don’t deal with liars, so you’re dismissed,” he shooed her away with his hand, instructing regular security to come back online. 

By the time she had reached the door and turned to say goodbye, the man was already back to his regular stoney-face self. And so was she. 

Her office was quiet for once as she entered it, there were always going to be piles of paperwork that she needed to get through, but for the first time in a long time, the only pressing matter she had was to get Steve Rogers to the carrier. She turned on her computer and waited for the email browser to open, punching in her credentials as the system opened. 

Like her physical inbox, her virtual inbox was also overflowing with messages from agents. But that was a problem for a different time, right now all she needed to do was obtain Rogers personal file and call his house phone number. She had his cell number on her own, but the man rarely used it or carried it around. Instead, he insisted on using a landline, something that drove Natasha crazy as it would ring in their shared space. 

The phone number was one of the first things listed on his file and Maria read it twice before punching it into her own phone. After two short rings, the receiver clicked and Steve answered. 

“Good Evening, this is Steve,” his voice was formal as he answered. 

“Hi Steve, it’s Hill,” she clicked open her calendar as she spoke. 

“Hi Hill, how can I help you?” His voice was softer as he recognized the woman. 

“I assume that you recall the conversation you had with Fury last week?” the brunette knew that it hadn’t gone exactly as planned. 

“I do.”

“And I assume that you recall the questions he asked regarding the tesseract?”

“I recall telling him that you all should have left it at the bottom of the ocean,” the Captain was back to his stern voice. 

“Well, that didn’t occur. And now we need you to come in case things go south,” she held her breath and quickly added, “for the... good of the country?”

“You can’t just say it’s for the good of the country and assume that I’ll do it,” he sighed. 

“But this time will you?” She paused and looked at available times to pick the super-soldier up on her calendar. 

“I’ll need a new suit,” he sounded as if he was trying to suppress a smile. 

“Already waiting for you. When can you be ready?” 

They set up a time for Phil to pick him up after he went on a house call to the Stark residence. She figured if she was going to have him leave the girl, she better make it worth his while. And talking to Captain America in person would certainly be worth his while. 

“Thanks, Cap, Agent Coulson will be in contact with you soon. See you tomorrow,” she hung up the phone and checked one more thing off her to-do list. 

Her to-do list was ever-growing, she opted to check a few more items off before returning to the medbay to update Phil and bring more juice boxes to things 1 and 2. She ignored the fact that her heart rate increased ever so slightly at the thought of seeing Natasha. 

By the time she had finished ⅓ of the list, it was late and she figured she may have missed her chance to see any of the occupants of the onboard hospital. Still, she stopped by the cafeteria and picked up juice before making her way up to the level of the ship they were located. 

“You’re supposed to be resting,” she opened the door to the two spies laughing, hard. Their eyes going wide as she walked in, even wider as they caught the juice box she tossed to them. 

“And you’re supposed to be piloting- captaining? This carrier,” Natasha argued and Clint laughed again. 

The commander took in the sight in front of her, both of the agents were clearly sleep-deprived and finding everything hilarious from exhaustion. She talked to Laura about this once, the woman had informed her that she had to separate the two when they got like this. If not, they would stay up all night laughing and start the cycle again in the morning, crankier. 

“What a funny word, captaining… captain… captain- oh hey I hear- no wait,” he laughed again, “our sources told us that you’re getting Cap to officially retire from retirement.”

Both spies cracked up at this, Natasha tilting her head back to laugh, red curls cascading down her back as she did so.  

“You’re correct,” she smiled at the two on the bed. 

“Good, he’s been like a puppy every time I leave on a mission,” she made a pouty face to emphasize this, “I know he wants to go with me. But instead, he just sits around the house and spends too much time at the gym, real repressed gay behavior ya know?”

“I just don’t see it, Tash,” Clint shook his head, “he was talking to me about that Peggy lady last time and he seemed really into her.”

“She’s about a billion years old now, and how many times do I have to say it to get it into that bird brain,” she tapped aggressively between the archers' eyebrows, “Sexuality. Is. A. Spectrum.”

“I know I know,” he nodded, eyebrows knit, “spectrum. So you think he’s gay?”

“Totally,” both Maria and Natasha said simultaneously. 

“I mean have you  heard  the way he talks about his childhood best friend? ‘Oh Bucky was so great, he was tall and handsome and gave his life for blah blah blah,” she looked at the Commander this time, “good impression, right?”

“Too good, now let Barton sleep,” she tried to put on her best Laura-mom voice. 

“But we just got to the good stuff!” Clint complained like a small child.  Small child, shit I need to check on Phil. 

“And the good stuff will be there later, but Tasha is on a mission tomorrow, and your sleep-deprived,” she shifted her gaze to the Russian, “ready for it?”

“Yeah, go in, tell the scientist he has to come with us or else!” she yelled, getting another laugh from the archer who almost rolled off the bed. 

Maria tried her best, but couldn't help the snort-laugh that came out at the change in the redhead's voice, “whatever, just be ready. Actually, get sleep please.”

“Bye, Ria!” Clint called after her as she reached the door. 

“Night Masha!” Natasha yelled out. 

Her hand faltered slightly at the door, the Russian had never called her that in person. She chalked the slip up to exhaustion and tried to keep her face from flushing red. It was just a loopy mistake, they were just having sex, nothing more. 

She controlled her breathing and continued down the hallway to the last door on the left. The lights were dimmed and Phil was no longer sitting on the bed like he was a few hours prior. Now he was sitting in a chair off to the side of the bed, a bed that had a very small lump in the middle of it. She swiped her badge and tried to open the door as quietly as she could for fear of disturbing whatever ecosystem was now in place.  

“Hey,” Phil looked up, as he spoke quietly. 

“How’s everything going?” She placed the last juice box on the tray table at the end of the bed. 

The child was curled up tightly in the center of the bed, her eyes were barely open. But still, they were open and Maria wondered how she could still be fighting off sleep. 

“She’s been like that for hours now, she won't sleep but I got her to at least lay down for what it’s worth,” he gave a very small, very sad smile. 

“Did she eat?” she looked around the room and saw a handful of wrappers.

“Two juice boxes, one water bottle, four crackers, and half a Twix bar,” he was staring at the child now, “Doc’s said if she doesn't start eating they're going to place a feeding tube. And we very much do not want that.”

The Commander looked at the child, whose blinking was even slower now. She had dried blood on the crook of her arm from where she had torn out the IV, and hair plastered to the side of her face that was pressed into the mattress. Maria approached the bed and sat at the very end, which got a small response from the child, but she was too tired to do anything. 

“I think sleep time is our best bet, to help her out, or sedation,” she noticed that the child’s eyes were staying closed for longer periods of time now. 

“They want to sedate her tomorrow to place the feeding tube but I know she’s just going to rip it out or teleport away,” he scooted his chair over until it was touching the hospital bed. 

“She do anymore of that?” Maria pushed herself further onto the bed. 

“No, thank God,” the handler stood up and reached over the bed, “this has been killing me all day.”

He waited to check that she wouldn't wake up before moving his hands to her legs. The little girl still had her shoes Velcroed on tightly as if she needed to be ready to run at any moment. Coulson’s hands worked quickly as he removed the shoes, fabric flailing out of both of them as he did so. There had been a pair of socks shoved into each shoe to help make them fit better, Maria wondered if someone had been trying their best to help the child, or if she had done it herself. Either way, it did little to protect the boney feet that were now visible. 

“I figured that was the case,” Phil looked down at the feet that had blisters on the toes and a rash on the bottom, Maria knew trench foot when she saw it, “every time I tried to get close to them she would kick.”

There was a ring of grime around the child’s ankles where the shoes had sat, clearly wet on her feet for too long. The duo looked like complete opposites, Phil was clean cut with an ironed suit on, his straight light brown hair was styled perfectly. The little girl was dirty and injured, the clothes on her were worn and tattered, her hair dark brown with curls sticking up in all different directions. 

“Anything in the parenting books on if it’s okay to sedate a kid to give them a bath?” her heart ached as she looked at the filth that covered the child. 

“Surprisingly, there’s not too much about that in the books,” he joked, “but there is a full section in the one I’m reading now that talks about leaving during the first few days.”

“Let me guess, bad news?” she thought of how the man would be traveling to New York and DC in the next two days.

“This one says that it’s bad news,” he put the tiny black shoes on the floor, “but this other article says that it can be helpful, to show that I’m coming back.”

“So, you’re still going to go?”

“As fast as I can,” he sighed, “I’m bringing Mel back with me, I’ll pick her up with Rogers.”

“I really expected you to be more excited about that,” the image of his Captain America vintage cards flashed in her mind. 

“I’ve met him before!” he chuckled.

“Yeah, for 30 seconds with Tasha and I and you just stared at him the whole time.”

The Captain had stopped by SHIELD to sign the lease that he and Natasha shared. Both women knew of Phil’s obsession and thought it would be nice of them to introduce the man to his hero. However, this ended with Coulson standing awkwardly in front of the door and staring until Steve exited the room, giving the agent a nod. 

“This time will be better, I’m working,” he tried to save face.

“You were working last time too,” she laughed and glanced at the child who continued to sleep. 

“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes, “all I’m saying is that I’ll be returning with backup.” 

“Good, you need it,” she really wasn’t sure how he was still doing it alone. 

“I wish I knew what to call her,” he tucked in a sheet around her body, she opened her eyes briefly before closing them again. 

“Nothing came up on the database?” The brunette knew that they had been trying to locate any data on her through facial recognition.

“Nothing, and it’s not like she’d let us touch her to get fingerprints,” he sat back down on the chair, looking tired, “How old do you think she is?” 

“Dunno,” the child next to her was so small but that didn’t necessarily mean she was young, “Ballpark? 4 to 6 years old.” 

“God that’s so young, too young to have gone through whatever she's gone through,” he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. 

“The world is a mean place, even for children.”

“I guess it just means that it’s a good thing she will have such a long time in her life to be happy,” he yawned, “she only had to endure it for a little while, and now she gets the good stuff for a long time.”

Leave it to Phil to find a positive outlook on this. The brunette couldn’t help but keep her eyes on the child, she deserved parents like Phil and May. He was right, they were the good stuff, and she was so happy that the two of them would be present. 

“You’re right Phil,” she replied quietly, listening to his breathing even out. 

They had both been awake since 3am and it was starting to catch up with her as well. But she waited for a moment longer, watching over the two polar opposites' sleep. 

“Goodnight, little bear.” 

Chapter Text

Her hands shook slightly as she clicked from one monitor to another, trying to find the perfect angle to see what was happening in Kolkata. She shouldn’t have gone for the extra cup of coffee after she woke up that morning, but after Phil had asked her to take over as handler on the mission to secure Banner, she poured another mug. 

“In position, say the word and we’ll secure you and the space,” she talked into her coms, watching the agent’s markers on her screen as they positioned themselves around the safehouse. 

“Thanks, Hill,” Natasha responded, her voice low. 

The two of them had worked together for a few weeks last year when Phil was pushed into a mandatory vacation. So far they were 6 for 6 on successful missions, the Commander intended to keep this streak up. 

Natasha’s normal handler was currently sitting in the medbay trying to get the child to eat, if she still refused in the next few hours, she would be sedated and a feeding tube would be placed. He was scheduled to leave by 7pm to be in New York at the right time, the thought process was that he would be absent when she was sedated, and return as she was waking up. 

The redhead spoke in Bengali to the child actress that returned to the safe house, the scientist in tow. Maria sat and listened as they exchanged pleasantries, hoping that it would be simple recruitment. Her breath hitched as she heard the man begin to yell. 

“Strike team on my go,” she spoke into the comms device, not waiting for the man inside to get the chance to hurt the Russian. 

The Commander waited for another moment, listening to the slightly ragged breath Natasha let out before she spoke, “stand down, we're good here.” 

“Copy,” Maria watched the dots on her screen move back from their lurch towards the safe house. 

There were no other problems with the plan, and within half an hour the two of them were entering the back of a Quinjet. Their streak of perfection continued. 

“Hill, mission update,” Fury called from his spot at the bridge. 

“Banner is on a flight back to the carrier now, should be there within an hour. Barton and Coulson are scheduled to leave in the next two hours, they'll travel to New York first for Stark and stop by DC for Rogers,” she opted to leave out the part that they were picking up May as well. 

“Move us back to the US,” he nodded and retreated to his office, “I need us there intact, as soon as possible. We have a tesseract to find.”  

“SHIELD emergency protocol 193.6 in effect, set coordinates to base 42,” she spoke with authority to the younger agents stationed at computers beneath her. Her phone vibrated and she looked down. 

Nat: Have I ever told you your Commander voice was sexy?

Maria kept her face neutral even as she felt blush creep across. She glanced down at the comms that were still open with the agents, whoops . Her hand clicked the disconnect button before sending them over to air traffic. 

Maria: Have I ever told you, that completing your mission paperwork is sexy? 

Nat: :/ no thx 

She smiled and put her phone away, it was worth a shot. Her attention was back to those around her as the evening was catching up. There never seemed to be enough hours in the day, especially when something as important as the tesseract was missing. Fury had been in meetings with the council all day leaving a majority of the items he normally took care of, on her plate.  

“Commander, we have a hit on the facial recognition program for the child,” one of the agents looked up at her and suddenly she was energized again. 

“Throw it to my tablet,” she waited patiently until the file was dropped to the tech in her hands. 

The information was spotty at best, the child had been linked to a string of break-ins on political figures with an older girl who looked to be in her late teens. The teenager's name was Kyra, she was brought to a police station in Yekaterinburg after being caught. Soon after the teen mysteriously “escaped” no doubt thanks to a bribe. 

The officers documented a child that had fled the scene before they were able to arrest her as well but all they had was a picture. A picture that was grainy and in black and white, but showed a small child with curly dark hair and shoes too big for her. 

They pressed the teen about the child’s whereabouts but she didn’t give anything up other than that the little girl was an orphan. As sad as it was, it sent a small amount of relief through the Deputy Director, now they knew that there weren't parents looking for her. 

Maria looked around the bridge, everything seemed to be fine for now, she could take a moment to inform Phil. She continued reading the report as she walked towards the medbay, popping a half piece of gum in her mouth to keep her from locking her jaw with stress. Just as she reached the door she read the last line of the police report: the teen had given up a name (whether it was real or not was up for debate), but they had a name. Elizaveta.  

She swiped her card and walked into, what seemed to be, a stalemate. Phil was sitting in the chair at the table that the child- Elizaveta was sitting under. Her hair and eyes were as wild as ever. 

“Sweetie, I just need you to eat this sandwich,” he moved his hand with the food under the table, the girl moved away as if they were repelling magnets, “they want to put a tube in you if not, and... you’re just going to rip it out anyway.” 

Clearly, he didn’t notice the new person in the room, but the child did. She stared at Maria as she walked further into the room. The commander pulled up the picture of the teen on her tablet and flipped it around to show the girl. 

“Kyra,” she announced, getting the child's full attention, scaring the hell out of her co-worker who yelped. 

“When did you get in here?” he coughed and tried to cover up his noise with a deeper voice. 

“30 seconds ago,” she kept her eyes on the child who was still staring at the screen, “Kyra?”

The girl blinked and nodded slightly, her face full of confusion as Maria got closer. She wondered if the girl was close to the woman on the screen, or if they had just worked together as Natasha had suggested days prior. 

The woman sat down on the floor in the same spot she had been the day before when they watched videos on her phone, “Elizaveta?” she motioned to the girl with her whole hand. 

The child was clearly torn, she looked up at Phil before looking back at Maria in debate on what she should confirm. They all waited until Maria motioned to herself, “Maria.” then to the man next to her, “Phil.” and then finally to the child “Elizaveta?”

This time the little girl nodded, clasping her hands together tightly as she brought her lower lip into her mouth. 

“Hi Elizaveta,” Phil’s voice was so soft, so full of love as he called her by her name. 

Her big green eyes looked as if they were about to spill tears as she closed them tightly. A portal opened up under her and closed quickly. Maria panicked for just a second before the child showed back up on the bed. She watched as the girl pulled the sheet up around her body, leaving only her eyes exposed. 

“Honey, we talked about that,” he shook his head and moved the chair over to where the bed was. 

The girl stayed put, not fleeing as soon as he got close. Progress.

“Anything else on there?” he motioned to the tablet. 

“No, but I’ll send it over to you anyway,” she moved the file to their shared drive and scrolled through it once more, “she’s an orphan, or at least that’s what the police report says.” 

“A police report is good enough for us to go off with the documents. Looks like we can go ahead with the adoption if Mel is still on board” a sliver of excitement ran through his voice as he talked about it. 

“It’s a big step to take, lots of work,” the brunette tried to be supportive but knew that there would be a lot of trials they would have to overcome before everything was settled. 

“Tell me about it,” he tried to offer the sandwich again, the child still moved away from it. 

And so she did, or rather he told her about it for hours. They would need to file the adoption papers and get her citizenship so that she could stay with the two agents. He wanted to move to the suburbs of DC and buy a house in a more kid-friendly neighborhood, making sure she had her own room. The car they had now would become May’s car, he would need to buy another one. A full physical would need to be done with blood work, and after that a psychological exam and therapy. It was sounding like a mountain of work even to Maria, the queen of everlasting to-do lists.   

“But that’s what I’ve been doing for the last 24 hours, compiling it all and creating this,” he smiled and moved his eyebrows as Maria’s tablet pinged. 

She looked at their shared drive and opened the file: “What to Expect When the Child is Already Here” which then had many sub-folders broken down by month and category. 

“Impressive,” she continued to open up the documents and look at what he had already complied. It was a little bare but a good start. 

“I’ve had some extra time on my hands, plus Mel added things too. Check out the one dated for tomorrow.”

There was a list of items that Phil had declared he needed on the carrier for the child, followed by May’s input and checked off items that she seemingly had already collected to bring. 

“Hopefully by the time we're back we can get her a little more comfortable with that stuff,” he smiled and looked at his watch, “shoot.”

The smile on his face fell as two physicians entered the room. 

“Hi, there friend!” The male doctor was too loud and the child squeezed her eyes tight and was under the table again, “Woah, now THAT is something you have to see to believe.”

“Has she eaten or had a bowel movement yet?” the female doctor asked and frowned as Phil shook his head, “okay, if you wouldn't mind helping us try to calm her so that we can administer sedation.” 

Maria stood to the side and watched as the child teleported any time an adult got close to her. After the third round, the child was exhausted and the commander wondered how much energy it took for her to do that. She faltered for just long enough for the doctor to come up and inject her thigh with sedation. 

“no!” Elizaveta’s tiny voice caught everyone by surprise as she tried to kick off the adult. 

Her legs moved erratically before going limp with the rest of her body. She was unconscious as Phil moved his hands under her body and placed her on the bed, pulling up the covers around her. He glanced down at his watch, it was time for him to go to New York. 

“I- I can watch her,” the offer was out of the commander's mouth before she realized it. 

“You have work,” he shook his head.

“I’ve been off the clock for the last hour,” they both knew that this meant nothing to the woman who worked at any hour, regardless of if they were her ‘working hours’ or not. 

“Are you sure?” he glanced at the child, “she’ll be asleep for most of it anyway.” 

“Phil, go.”

“Okay, thank you, let me know if anything happens okay?” He pulled a hand over the child's hair.  

“You got it, now go,” she motioned for the door. 

“Thank you, Ria.”

The physicians gathered supplies and approached the girl on the bed. They both moved quickly as one-handed the other the endoscope to properly place it. Elizaveta’s body contorted as the tube ran down the back of her throat, but then calmed as the nutrient-rich formula began filling the tube. 

“While she is sedated we're going to get as much information as we can,” the male doctor said, supporting the unconscious child in his arms, “Blood draw, IV placement, size and weight, imaging if we can.”

He placed the child on a scale that was positioned in the room, keeping her in an upright position with the feeding tube sticking out slightly from her nose.

“34.7 pounds,” he placed the girl back on the bed and measured her height, “37.8 inches. So that will be what? Like 500 ml?” 

“We're going to start off slowly, we don’t want to shock her system,” the female doctor told Maria as she opened up a bottle of what looked like formula. 

The commander opened the file Phil had just shared with her and began documenting everything that they told her under the project with the current date on it. 

“Starting with about 500 ml of Pediatric Peptide 1.5,” the doctor looked over to Maria who wrote that down. 

“She is in the bottom percentile of her age group if we are guessing that correctly,” the male doctor told the deputy director, placing the child back on the bed.  

“And how old would that be?” she spoke up for the first time. 

“Well it’s hard to tell, but she has two teeth missing on her bottom row,” he donned gloves and open up the child's mouth, “tooth loss starts around 5.”

She recorded that as well, not having noticed the missing teeth earlier. But then again she couldn't recall ever seeing the child’s teeth.

“We're going to go ahead and do a physical examination now,” the female doctor closed the curtains that framed the large sliding glass door. 

Maria nodded and stood up, she wasn’t exactly sure what she should do but it felt right for her to oversee what was happening. 

“It’s not uncommon for neglected children to have years of built-up injuries, we just want to look her over to make sure none of it will affect her later on in life,” the female doctor very gently removed the clothing on the child, “this may be difficult to watch.”

The brunette nodded and kept her eyes on the face of the child, she wasn’t going to miss anything. She would be here for Phil, Mel, and most importantly Elizaveta. The doctor was right, it was hard to see them move their hands over the child's body, there were so many scars.   

“You’re doing so well, sweetie,” the female doctor talked as she continued to work even as the child lay unconscious. 

“Elizaveta,” Maria spoke up again. 

“Well isn’t that just a beautiful name, Elizaveta,” her voice was light and cheery even as she pressed down on bones that stuck out. 

The doctors talked to each other, pointing out old and new injuries as they touched different lumps and bruises. Both were gentle and spoke to the child as if she was awake, which put the handler at ease, knowing that the little girl was getting help from nice people. 

“Okay all done with that part,” the male doctor said as he finished writing something down, “I’m sorry we don't have any gowns that would fit her.”

“That’s alright, she can last a little longer in those before Coulson brings her new ones,” she watched as they pulled the too-big clothing back onto the child.  

“We’re going to start an IV and take a blood draw,” the doctor retrieved more supplies, “I know that she pulled it out last time, but we need to get fluids in her.”

The Commander watched as they took two vials of blood and placed the IV into her arm, and hooked her up to a heart monitor. After they finished they looked over to the woman in the chair who was still documenting everything for Phil. 

“She’ll most likely be asleep for the next 18-24 hours. One of us or a nurse will come and check on her and replace the IV and nutritional formula every few hours,” the female doctor smiled, “but if you need anything else before then, don't hesitate to call.”

“Thank you,” Maria wrote both of their names down and leaned back in the chair as they exited. 

She looked at the child who, for the first time, looked peaceful even as she was connected to new equipment. 

“There you are!” Natasha walked through the hospital door, pulling Maria out of whatever sense of sleep she had been in, “Oh shit, sorry.”

The brunette rubbed at her eyes and sat the chair up fully, it had been a little over 6 hours since she had fallen asleep, 10 since the tubes had been placed. The first few hours were full of her calling Phil and May to update them and explain her notes on the shared drive, the next few she sat researching everything about neglected children. 

“It’s okay, she's sedated,” she looked at the child. 

“I meant for waking you up,” the Russian made her way over to the chair and sat on the armrest next to Maria. 

“Sorry I missed your messages,” the older woman looked down at her phone, it was very unlike her to miss something like that. 

She smiled as she took in the sight next to her. After missions and before she went to bed, the Russian would take out her perfect braids and let her hair be free. However, she would soon get annoyed with her hair so most nights ended with her pulling her hood up to keep her hair back, but poking her ears out on either side of the hood so she could still hear everything. By all accounts, she looked adorable and not at all like an ex-kgb assassin. 

“That’s okay, I was just bored,” Natasha kept her voice soft, “the new scientist isn’t very fun, and Barton is back in DC.”  

“Well he doesn’t need to be fun, he needs to be good at tracking gamma rays,” Maria responded, watching Elizaveta’s chest rise and fall as the monitor continued to beep at each heartbeat. 

“I guess,” the green-eyed woman kicked her feet out and watched them fall back against the chair, “any update with her?”

“She’s tiny and has a lot of scaring, they aren’t too concerned about anything other than her weight and a few deep scars on her ribs. Her name is Elizaveta, you were right, she was working with a teenager,” she waited to see if the woman would bolt at the mention of something Red Room-related. 

“Figures,” she kept her gaze on the child, “Elizaveta… she gotta be what? Five?”

“How’d you know?” by looks alone the child looked four. 

“It was a popular name in Russia about five years ago, plus you didn’t say anything about a tracker,” the redhead continued to stare at the child.

“Tracker?” 

“Tracker,” Natasha confirmed, sticking out her left arm to reveal a scar on the inside of her arm, “The Room places them in you once you’re 8 and able to do your own missions.” 

“Oh,” Maria couldn't help but to reach out and trace a finger down the scar on the Russians forearm, “we don’t know who she was working for.”

“I could be wrong, who knows. I’ve been wrong about a lot of stuff recently,” she sighed and scooted ever so slightly closer to the brunette. 

“Want to talk about that?” The Commander absentmindedly leaned her body against the woman on the armrest. 

“No… I don't know,” she quickly slung her feet over and was suddenly sitting in the lap of Maria Hill, her legs dangling over the other armrest, “you read the file when we took it down during my defection.”

“I did,” she tried her best to stay calm at the display of trust and affection. 

“Then can you tell me how someone would have survived that?”

“I dunno Tasha,” she began drumming her fingers on the spy’s thigh in thought, “maybe it’s like a cockroach, not so easily killed.”

“Ria, we demolished a full city block to take him down,” she sighed and directed her attention back to the child, “she needs a bath and curl control shampoo.”

“That’s a good idea, hand me my tablet?” it seemed the conversation about The Room was now over. 

Maria held on to the Russian’s legs as she stretched to grab the tablet from the table. She opened up the notes section for the file dated with tomorrow's date. Almost all of the items had been checked off now, but still, she added “Child-friendly curl shampoo” to the end of the list and chuckled. 

“Something funny, Hill?” The redhead cocked her head to the side and looked toward the woman who was using her lap as a makeshift desk.

“If I ever asked my father for specialty shampoo I’m pretty sure I would have woken up with a shaved head,” she looked back at the woman in her lap. 

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, he didn’t  do  femininity,” the brunette recalled. 

“I would hardly say hair texture defines what’s feminine,” the Russian raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re right, but he would have argued that maintaining it was. And I would be stuck with my tia trying her best to make a buzzed head pretty,” she laughed again, “she probably would have glued bows to my head.”

“Now that, I would pay to see,” Natasha smiled, “you don’t talk about them a lot.”

“My family?” she paused and looked down at the items on the list. 

“Yeah, I like it when you do. Your eyes get all crinkly,” the green-eyed woman closed hers until they too crinkled around the edges. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she tried to focus on the last item on the list, and not how the woman made her heart race and ache simultaneously.

The cursor on her tablet continued to blink until it crossed off every item. Next to the last one, there was now a note from Melinda.

May: got it, thanks, Ria.

“Mel says she’ll get the shampoo,” the brunette ran her finger along the scar of the Russian once more, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she leaned back at the touch and they were suddenly cuddling.

Maria breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth to keep her nerves under control. The feeling was similar to clicking in the last piece of the border of a puzzle, there was still more to go, but it felt right. There was a starting point. 

She closed her eyes and soaked it in, the feeling, the smell of cocoa honey shampoo the redhead used, the sound of her heart beating in her ears. It was nice, really really nice. 

“It’s the only reason I didn’t think she was a widow at first, the hair I mean,” the spy talked about the room but kept her position on the chair firm, “It’s like the first thing you learn how to do, braid hair, detect poisons, ballet. When you’re young they make sure that you know how to be perfect.”

“I don’t think that she can do her hair yet, she’s really little, Tasha.”

“But if she was with a teenager, that girl would have known how to do her hair. It’s one of your chores in the morning, make sure the littles have their hair done or do it for them,” her voice was quieter this time, “either she didn’t care about the girl, or she was trying to get them out of the room. Make them look like street kids and move undetected to another place.” 

“Maybe that was the plan with Loki, maybe they joined up with someone who they thought could get them out of the Red Room,” Maria drew patterns on the Russian thigh.

“Is it bad that I hope she’s a Hydra kid?”

“No,” the brunette continued drawing patterns, “I mean if you are saying that like ‘I hope Hydra is recruiting kids’ then I would say it's a bad thing. But if you’re saying it like ‘I hope it’s Hydra and the Red Room is no longer active’ then I would get it” she joked.

“I just need to know, I think I know but I need to confirm it. And then take it down, with or without SHIELD.”

“I told you, I’d help as soon as we get this power source thing under control,” she reminded the woman. 

“I know, you also said that you would take time off for me,” the redhead wiggled her eyebrows.

“You know I really do regret-” she stopped mid-sentence as Elizaveta sat straight up, her eyes immediately reaching for the wires that were now connected to her chest, “shit.”

“Der'mo,” Natasha rattled off an explicit word herself.

The little girl's hands continued to try and rip the heart monitor leads off with little success, the adhesive was strong. Maria scooted out from under Natasha and approached the bed, her hands moving to quickly stop the child. 

“No,” she warned as the child went to squeeze her eyes shut. 

Frustrated, the girl now grabbed at the tube on her face, ripping off the tape that was keeping it secure. 

“остановись сейчас, вдова,” Natasha commanded in Russian. 

Immediately the child's hands stilled before starting to shake, her eyes going wide and filling with tears. Tears that were mirrored in the eyes of the woman who was sitting on the chair. 

“Congratulations,” Natasha's voice cracked as a single tear fell down her cheek, “it’s a widow.”

Chapter Text

“Tasha wait,” Maria called out to the woman who was already at the door, “Natasha. Please.”

But it was too late, the woman was gone and Maria had a traumatized child on her hands. A child who was now sitting with her hands in her lap and her head hung, tears falling onto the sheet below her. 

“We’re not the Red Room,” the Commander tried to explain, “we aren’t going to do anything the Red Room did. You’re safe here, Elizaveta.”

The child continued to keep her head down, Maria was way out of her league and regretted ever making fun of Phil for the parenting books. 

“You’re safe… um…  Bezopasno ,” she wracked her brain for words in Russian, “net plokho. Net … Red Room?” 

The brunette looked at her watch, Phil would be back in five hours, the child wasn’t supposed to be awake for another eight. She held off on pressing the call button, it was 6am and the doctors would be back through in the next hour to do morning rounds. She could keep everything under control until then. 

“Breakfast?” Maria looked at the child who continued to stay shockingly still, “I bet we could get someone to bring us french toast.”

She pulled out her phone, narrating everything she did so that the child knew that she wasn’t a threat. Or at least that’s what she told herself as she tried to remember the Russian word for chocolate milk. 

“Let’s see, there's not a ton of options for delivery on a Wednesday morning,” she sent off a quick text to Natasha to let her know she was there for her, “and I’m partial to french toast, but that doesn't mean that you have to have it.”  

The child glanced up to watch Maria as she walked over to the chair where her tablet was still sitting. She picked it up and opened up the cafeteria menu that had pictures of the items. 

“Can I sit with you?” she crouched down until she was eye-level with the child, “Just so I can show you the items and you can pick out what you want to…  yest '? Is it  yest' ? Eat?”

She mimed eating, catching the eye of the child who shook her head ever so slightly. 

“No that’s not how you say eat, or no you don't want me sitting with you?” the commander kicked herself for not knowing more words. 

Elizaveta shook her head again. 

“Okay, how about I pull the chair over here and we look at the options together?” she waited for any acceptance of the new plan. 

Slowly the child raised her head, showing her face that still had a fine layer of grime on it, creating perfect track lines from where tears had fallen. She looked at Maria and then at the tablet then back to Maria. 

“No, bed,” her voice was quiet, her accent thick. 

“Got it, no bed. Bed is all yours, your space,” Maria wanted the child to know that no one would come into her space without being allowed. 

She couldn’t bring herself to imagine the horror that the child had gone through on beds, or with an invasion of her own space. The chair was close but she still scooted it closer until the armrest hit the rail of the bed. 

“Now again, I’m partial to french toast, but there are other options,” she looked at the child who was staring at the screen, her feeding tube laying slack on her face, “Let’s see we have a breakfast sandwich…  buterbrod ?”

She was pretty sure she got the word wrong and that the child did in fact speak English even if it was broken, but still she continued to try. 

“Or let’s see,” the brunette scrolled further down, “um pancakes, are you a pancake fan? Or oatmeal.”

The green-eyed child simply stared back, not making any indication of what she wanted to eat. The commander understood the frustration that Phil had felt the day before when he was trying to force a sandwich on the girl. 

“Alright well, how about I get a few things and we go from there?” again the child did nothing. 

The woman pulled out her phone and dialed the extension for the cafeteria. In the end, she ordered oatmeal, french toast, and a few sides. The two stared at each other awkwardly until there was a knock at the door which sent the child reeling back in fear until she almost fell out of the bed. 

“You’re okay, it's just the food” Maria got up and swiped her card to unlock the door, the food was on a tray on the floor and still had steam coming off of it, “I mean, it’s not iHOP but still it smells pretty good right?” 

She walked back over to the table in the room, pretending not to notice that the girl was still huddled in the corner of the bed. She was tiny but looked even smaller in the bed that was sized for adults. 

“So this is french toast,” the commander unsheathed a tray with four perfect pieces, “you can put syrup on it. Phil might think that’s too much sugar though.”

The girl eyed the food suspiciously. 

“And then these are the potatoes I was telling you about. Hashbrowns are what they’re called.” 

The older woman paused and realized that she was not only having a conversation with a five-year-old, but she was also having a conversation with a five-year-old who may not actually understand what she was saying. Still, she carried on, not knowing what else to do. 

“I also got some fruit, that seems healthy. And then this last one is oatmeal, I think you could throw some of those blueberries in it, that might be good.”

The last item was the only thing the child was paying attention to. It seemed that she was a fan of oatmeal, or at least it was the least intimidating. 

“How about I leave this right here,” she placed the bowl and spoon on the rolling desk that fit over the top of the hospital bed, “and you try it out.”

Like the day before, the girl moved like a repelling magnet when the rolling desk crept closer to her spot on the bed. The Deputy Director inched it closer until the food was at arm's length before returning back to her food on the table in front of her. 

“And if you want any of this, I’ll bring it over to you,” she cut a piece of french toast and popped it in her mouth. 

The woman had finished most of her food by the time the child reached up and placed a spoon full of oatmeal in her mouth. Maria kept her head focused on the tablet in front of her, she had been looking over mission reports when she caught the movement out of the corner of her eye. She continued to finish her meal and type up a mission strategy for an operation that was going to take place in the next month. 

The child was careful to not let the spoon hit the bowl, remaining mostly silent as she took a few more bites. By the time the doctors had knocked on the door, half of the bowl had been finished. Maria took it as a win. 

“Good morning Commander- oh hi Elizaveta!” The male doctor once again spoke too loudly and paid for it by having a rolling desk come flying at his thighs.

He groaned as it made contact, causing the female doctor to laugh, “We weren’t expecting you to be awake so early. Well, we were after the blood test but…” she trailed and moved her hand in the air. 

“You have the results?” the deputy director pulled up the notes section on her tablet once again. 

“We do, and we can go more in-depth with Agent Coulson, but we wanted to start her on medication and felt like we should tell you what’s going on,” the male doctor stood back upright and kept his distance. 

The girl's eyes closed tightly at the mention of medication and she was now crammed under Maria’s legs under the desk. This wouldn't have been a huge problem if she wasn't connected to an IV, feeding tube, and monitor leads. All of the items tried to go through the portal with her but were stuck in the opening that was still only large enough for the child. 

“Hey,” the brunette leaned down to see the child who was now stuck, the cables and portal above her trying to pull her back through, “you have to go back on the bed. You’re caught.”

The child tried to kick at the commander, making contact a few times before her scared eyes landed on the portal. She looked almost as scared as she did the day they found her in the office. 

“You gotta, ouch, no don’t kick,” Maria swung her legs out to give the child more room, “can you give us a minute?” she looked at the doctors who nodded and exited the room. 

She put her hand under the desk and tried to guide the child back through. The girl flinched violently and in an attempt to escape, fell back through the portal. It wasn’t how she wanted it to happen but at least there wasn’t a tangle of cords and medical equipment under the table any longer. 

“Okay so you got scared because of the medicine yeah?” she looked at the child who had once again pulled the sheets tight until only her eyes were visible, “I can see why that would be scary. But we don’t actually know what they are for.”

“No sleep,” her voice was stronger than Maria had heard it previously, still tiny, but fierce. 

“Okay got it, no sleeping meds or meds that make you sleep. That seems like a responsible request,” she made eye contact and nodded with the doctors who were still watching from behind the sliding door.  

“So like I was saying to you and Elizaveta, we got the results back. Her metabolism is burning through everything in her system, including sedatives and everything else we have given her. Because of that, we want to start her on a metabolism stabilizer and an antiepileptic,” the male doctor was explaining as he walked into the room. 

“Normally, antiepileptics are used to treat seizures but we're going to try and use them for the prevention of weight loss,” the female doctor explained as Maria typed it all out. 

“I thought that’s what the feeding tube was for?” she watched as the male doctor got closer, medication in hand. 

“Well it is, but her blood tests came back showing that her metabolism levels are about three times what they should be. She’s burning through food before she has time to ingest it, most likely because of her party trick,” he explained as he approached the bed. 

“We’re going to continue tube feeding until she reaches a better weight, but these will help her keep the weight on,” the female doctor explained, “speaking of, we need to add more formula by the looks of it. Great job with eating though little lady!”

The girl eyed the male physician who had gotten within arm's length of the bed. She waited until he leaned in closely to fix her feeding tube that still hung on her face before she reached out and scratched at him. A long red line now present on his chin, just below his ear. 

“Ah,” he pulled back, “she’s like a little…” 

“Bear,” Maria confirmed with a nod. 

“Yeah, like a little bear,” he rubbed at the scratch marks. 

“You have to let her know what you’re doing, you can't just reach over her like that,” the deputy director explained before looking at the female doctor, “will this medication make her drowsy, sleepy?”

The little girl's eyes locked on the female who was still by the door. 

“With the dosage, we’re giving her? It would be doubtful. But if that’s a concern we can try it out and then reevaluate,” she shook a new bottle of feeding tube formula. 

“No sleep,” Maria looked at the girl who nodded ever so slightly. 

“Okay, I’m going to add it to your formula in this bag up here,” the male doctor narrated his movements, “and I’m going to put another piece of tape over your tube so it doesn't fall.”

Elizaveta shook her head and looked at the woman next to her. 

“The tape will help so it doesn't fall like this,” Maria tried to explain, “tape will keep the tube  ostanovka. ”

The curly-haired child narrowed her eyes and watched as the man pulled a roll of medical tape from his white coat and tore off a piece. He tucked the tube back around her ear and placed the tape on her cheek. 

“See, all done,” he held his hands out in front of him, “now Dr. Carter is just going to add some more formula and we'll be out of your hair.”

The female doctor walked over and added more to the bag, keeping a distance and narrating everything she did. The child watched her but seemed to find comfort in knowing that she was being told what was happening. 

“Okay, you should be set for the next few hours, little one,” Dr. Carter smiled and waved to the girl who just blinked. 

“Agent Coulson will be back around 11 if you want to come and give him a more in-depth account of what’s going on,” the Commander looked at her watch, a little less than four hours and she would be back to her regular job. 

“We’ll be back at 11 then. Thank you, deputy director,” the woman smiled and exited the room. 

Maria looked at the child who touched the tube on her face gently before putting her hands back in her lap when she made eye contact with the brunette. 

“It’s for food, it’s so you can eat without eating,” she tried to explain.

The girl eyed the half-eaten bowl of oatmeal on the desk that was close to the door now. 

“I know but it’s so that you don't have to keep eating, it’s like double eating,” she informed, “you still have to eat both ways.”

They continued to stare at each other, unsure of what exactly was making it through the language barrier. But there were no tears, no blood, and half a bowl of oatmeal had been eaten. It was a step in the right direction.

She watched as the child slid further down into the bed, her eyes heavy with sleep even as she tried to fight it off. Between the remaining sedative in her system, and the teleportation that had gone haywire, the child was once again tired to the point of exhaustion. Maria watched as her eyes opened less frequently, and her breathing evened out. 

Her phone buzzed and she instinctively pulled it out, expecting it to be Fury or Phil, checking in. Instead, it was a text from Natasha.

Nat: Sorry about that, lot to process but I’m better now. Still in the med bay?

Maria: no worries, glad you’re okay. Yes until 11.

Nat: I’ll swing by when you’re done.

And the commander found herself with a small smile on her face. 

“It’s a turkey sandwich,” Maria bit into her own, “I know that it’s not the best but come on, you should at least try it.”

The girl continued to stare at the food in front of her, just as she had for the last fifteen minutes. 

The two of them had been in a stalemate ever since the child woke up to the knocking on the door when lunch had come around. Turkey sandwiches and chips were placed neatly on two plates, one of which remained untouched. 

“What about chips then?” Maria popped one in her mouth and nodded for the girl to do the same. She did not. “What about this.”

She stood up and walked over to the rolling table that she had moved back into its original space to the displeasure of Elizaveta. Her hand’s unwrapped the sandwich and deconstructed it quickly. 

“Now it’s just meat and bread and cheese, that's not so bad huh?”

Little hands hesitated before they found their way onto the tabletop and pulled a single slice of bread into her lap. She took a small bite before looking at the woman next to her who smiled and nodded. 

“See, bread is good no matter where you’re from-” the commander paused.

The conversation from the day before suddenly hit her, Natasha had explained that growing up she didn't eat sandwiches, she ate stew and bread. She looked down at the child who had eaten half of the top slice of bread before stopping as soon as she noticed Maria staring. 

“Cafeteria, this is Beth,” the woman answered the phone. 

Maria sighed in relief, Beth was one of the good ones who had been on the carrier for years. If anyone was going to try and make a special request happen, it was her. 

“Hi, Beth, this is Deputy Director Hill, I was wondering if I could put in a special request for stew,” she waited for the woman to respond.  

“Stew, hmm I don’t see why that would be a problem but let me double-check with the staff,” she placed the phone down for a moment and the brunette waited until she heard the noise of it being picked back up, “is there a specific type of stew you had in mind?”

“Beef? Is that an option?” she tried to think of what the most common stew would be for the child, “cabbage?” that one felt right. 

“Beef is something we can do, we should have a pot in the next few hours,” the woman’s voice was warm and comforting. 

“You’re the best, thanks Beth,” she hung up the phone and looked at the child in front of her. 

“Okay, so now we at least have dinner figured out,” she sat back in the chair and looked at her tablet. Phil was scheduled to touch down any minute, “Juice?”

The child gave a small nod as she continued to eat her slice of bread. Maria stabbed a box of apple juice and reached over to place it on the rolling desk. 

“Is apple juice your favorite? Or is it just what we have been giving you?” The commander looked at the child who brought the straw to her lips and sucked down the liquid. 

Elizaveta made no effort to show any acknowledgment and continued to eat her slice of bread. Her bottom teeth were missing and it showed as she continuously bit down on the carb, leaving an extra piece right in the center. She had just started to reach for the second piece as the sound of the swipe access sounded and the door slid open. 

Both Phil and Melinda looked nervous as they stepped into the room, both carrying a few bags. 

“Hi Elizaveta,” the handler smiled softly as he walked towards the bed.

“We were just finishing up eating slices of bread,” Maria spoke up as the couple placed the bags by the table she was sitting at. 

“Bread huh? That sounds great,” Phil gave a thumbs up.

The girl watched them both carefully, spending more time on the woman who still had yet to speak. 

“Oh yeah, between that and the juice it’s a real party,” the deputy director finished her own sandwich and motioned to May, “this is one of my friends Melinda.”

“Room?” The girl's voice was guarded and took both Phil and May by surprise. 

“Nope, no one here is from the Red Room, we don't work with them,” Maria kept her voice light even as she discussed something serious. 

“Muffin,” the girl spoke up again.

All of the adults shared glances, Phil was the first to ask, “you want us to get you a muffin? We can do that.”

The girl gave a small shake of her head and looked at Maria, “room, muffin.”

The brunette wracked her brain to try and figure out what the child meant. They hadn’t had muffins, she hadn’t had one since-

“Natasha isn’t from the Red Room, well.. no she is,” she looked at the other two adults, “she grew up and trained as a widow but she works here now. I promise you, she is the last person to be connected to them. I know it was scary when she talked to you this morning, but she’s not part of the Red Room.”  

The girl eyed her cautiously before reaching for the piece of bread again and taking a small bite. Maria looked over at her friends who looked confused as they stared between each other and the child. She felt her phone buzz and looked down, it was Fury. 

“Hi, sir,” she walked towards the door and listened to him ask for information, “yep, be there soon.”

The girl looked scared as the Commander stayed by the door. 

“I have to run, but I’ll come by tonight. Let me know if you guys need anything but I also documented most of it on the shared drive,” she tried not to feel her heartbreak as Elizaveta stared at her, big green eyes that looked so sad, “I’ll be back little bear, I promise.” 

“Thank you again, Ria,” Phil looked almost as nervous as the child. 

“No problem, good luck.” 

The door unlocked and slid open, revealing a redhead that had positioned herself just out of sight. 

“Fury needs me,” she looked down to the woman on her right, “walk and talk?”

“Can do.”  

“Scale of 1 to 10 how are you feeling right now, ten being the first time you had coffee, one being that one time Barton hit you in the face with the bow staff?” The brunette tried to make the Russian feel a little better as they continued to walk.

“Like a 4 maybe,” her voice was low as she spoke, “god, I forgot about the bow staff incident, I thought I was going to murder him.”

“I thought you were too, anything I can do to help?” They were approaching the bridge now. 

“Angry sex, my bunk 10pm?” the redhead purred out the request and watched as Maria swiped her card to open up the door. 

“I’ll be there,” the Commander kept walking without turning around, she knew if she had, the Russian would have made fun of her for the blush on her face. 

She made her way over to the control panel that Fury was standing behind and glanced over his shoulder. They were on course from the Eastern seaboard back to Europe, a more neutral location while they searched for Loki. 

“So I’ll take it Stark is on board, sir?” the brunette concluded. 

“In a physical sense, no. He will be in the next 30 minutes. In a metaphorical sense, yes. He decided the initiative works with his schedule,” the Director sighed, “If I ever turn into a diva like that, I trust you to tell me, Hill.”

She looked at the man next to her as he flipped his coat to the side and put his hands on his hips, “well then, sir, I think there's something I have to tell you.”

“Save it, I’m not a diva,” the one-eyed man now stared her in the face, “I need you down here as the Director while I keep the cats from killing each other.”

“Yes, sir,” she knew she now had 30 minutes to get everything done that would need to be completed in the next few days. The bridge would become her bunk, cafeteria, and church.  

“The current plans are already in your inbox for your eyes only, clear?” he began walking back to his office. 

“Crystal,” the second in command, opened her tablet and confirmed that she had the coordinates and projected plans for the next few days. 

She returned to her office and opened up the drawers of her desk to make sure she had everything she needed. Her bottom drawer had a pillow and blanket, her second drawer had granola bars and enough ground coffee to kill a man, and her top drawer had all of her pens and packs of gum. She was ready to be here for the long run. 

The gum in her mouth suddenly felt tough and void of all minty flavor, she spit it out and opened the top drawer again. Her hands opened the pack of gum and pulled out a piece, tearing it in half and placing one half in her mouth. 

She had a bad habit of clenching her jaw under stress, something that her grandmother had noticed first, followed by her dentist when the clenching started to cause damage to her teeth. Her Abuela would take a piece of gum and tear it in half, giving half to Maria and half for herself. Even though her grandmother had been dead for years, she still found herself only eating half a piece at a time. 

“Can I have the other half?” The voice came from inside the vent. 

Without looking she threw the other piece up towards the vent cover that opened just in time. A hand emerged to snag it before it fell back down. 

“I have a door, Barton,” she placed the pack back in the top drawer and slid it closed. 

“But then I’d run the risk of,” he dropped onto the floor, “running into Fury and him asking me why I’m not in the conference room with the others, waiting for the billionaire.”

“And you think I won't ask you that?” the Commander asked.

“No, you’re too stressed,” he chewed the gum and showed it between his teeth, “you’re already on your second piece.”

She sighed and started brewing a fresh pot of coffee, “I’m not stressed, I’m acting director for the next few days. Directors don’t get stressed, Barton.” 

“Everyone gets stressed, ask our fine Russian friend,” he breathed out.

And there it was, the real reason the archer was in her office this afternoon. 

“Worried about her?” Maria stopped what she was doing and gave the man on her couch, her full attention. 

“Are you not?” The blonde questioned back.

“As a friend, I am. Should I be concerned as the Deputy Director?” She wanted to know just how worried the man was, and if Natasha should be pulled from missions until her head was back on straight. 

“Not yet, but… I don't know Ria,” he tilted his head back, “If the Red Room is still around, she's going to take it down with or without our help. I don’t think she’s slept since the portal opened up.” 

That would explain why Natasha walked into the hospital room that morning just after 5am looking as if she had already been awake for hours. 

“Keep me updated, if I need to intervene I will.”

“No, because then she’s going to be mad that I told on her,” the man looked startled. 

“I’ll just tell her a ‘source’ told me, don't worry. Now go on to your hero party,” she tilted her head up and nodded at the vent opening. 

“Ugh, this is gonna suck,” he groaned and stood up.

“Embrace the suck,” the brunette echoed their shared military slogan.

She then watched as he pulled himself first onto a nearby filing cabinet, his boots stepping ever so slightly on the papers in a bin on top. 

“CLINTON!” Maria scolded him as she saw the corner of a paper get creased. 

“Sorry Commander!” he called back as he slid the vent cover back into place.   

The room was filled with the sounds of brewing coffee and the warm aroma that came with it, serenity in the moments before the chaos. Maria compiled all items in her to-do list into a single spreadsheet categorized by importance level. By the time the coffee was done brewing and her shift as Director was about to start, she had finished two items. 

The first was the easiest, if not the one that made her public enemy number one. She highlighted all requests for time off in the next two weeks and denied everyone. They were too close to finding the tesseract to lose any of the agents because of a “family gathering” or “travel plans”. It was a sure-fire way to cause everyone who had submitted a request (all 73 agents) to hate her behind her back for at least the next few days. 

This was highlighted as she exited her office, coffee in hand, and was met with more tight-lipped faces than normal. It was a hard job, a job that caused her to not be liked by a number of agents, but someone had to do it. She normally got to play “mean cop/slightly meaner cop”, with Fury, but in his absence, she had to play both roles. 

“Ma’am coordinates are set,” an agent called up to her as she stood at the helm of the carrier. 

“Estimated arrival?”

“Six hours at current speed,” he answered her, staring until she nodded in approval. 

She looked over the flight plan and the current weather patterns that they would be coming across. There would be turbulence around 1am but not enough to call in any extra precautions which were at least one good sign. The computer that she used in the center of the room warmed up slowly and she sipped at her coffee as she waited for it. 

“Ma’am,” a slightly started agent called out, “we have an unknown aircraft approaching at Mach 8.”

“Acknowledged, do not engage,” she squinted at the tarmac outside, waiting for the suit to make an appearance. 

A matter of seconds later, the distinctive gold and red armor glistened off the sunlight in a spectacular fashion. 

“Showoff,” she muttered as the man landed in the classic ‘hero’ pose. 

The room suddenly got louder as agents murmured to each other about Iron Man's appearance. She could already hear the gossip mill would have a field day about why Tony was on the carrier. It went on for another moment until the Commander glanced around the room, effectively quieting everyone. Power had its perks. 

Chapter Text

Maria's eyes stung from the screen she had been staring at for the last six hours. She blinked and finished the now cold beef stew that she had been sent for dinner four hours prior. It was still good and she hoped Elizaveta had at least tried it. 

The night shift had just started to file into the room, one of the more senior agents walked up to her.

“You asked to see me ma’am?” the blonde stood at her side. 

“Agent Randall, you’re competent right?” she had overseen missions that he had run before and trusted the man. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he stared ahead and nodded once. 

“Great, so I can trust you to make sure the ship doesn’t crash in the next hour?” they were approaching 10pm and she had plans. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Wonderful, don't touch anything. The course is set and we're cruising, all you need to do is read the day shifts log. If there’s an emergency, and I mean the ship is on fire or you have been killed, you can call me. Other than that I don't want to be disturbed,” she made eye contact with the agent. 

“Got it, ma’am.” 

She turned on her heel and made her way to a bunk that was very much not hers. There had been radio silence on her end since Natasha’s offer and as much as she wanted to double check they were still on, she didn't want the heartbreak of finding out they weren't. 

The Russian’s bunk was the very last door on the right, the one on the left was for Clint. This was something Maria found out after sneaking out of Natasha’s bunk at 2am and running straight into the archer who apparently was on his way back from his “Wednesday night ice cream run”. She tried to push that thought out of her mind as she knocked quietly on the door. 

“Hey-” her words were cut off from the immediate kiss that met her lips before the door had even closed. Her lip between the Russian's teeth in a matter of moments with enough pressure to draw blood.

Natasha was unzipping and pulling down the commander's uniform at a speed that seemed almost inhuman. The deputy director’s mouth pressed into the redheads, only breaking when her undershirt was pulled past their lips. She may not have been on the clock but the Russian was on a mission, fire encasing her eyes. 

The brunette caught a glimpse of the two of them in the mirror that hung over the bathroom door. She was standing in just her bra, the top half of her uniform falling limply around her waist as the redhead continued to press kiss after harsh kiss down her chest. Natasha’s hair fell down her back, covering the SHIELD logo of the oversized shirt she was wearing. The Russian got on her tiptoes to lick the base of the brunette's ear and Maria had to keep from moaning at the sensation and sight in the mirror, it seemed the shirt was all the Russian was wearing. 

Natasha’s hands moved to drag the rest of Maria’s uniform down. The deputy director kicked her boots off as she was pushed onto the bed, her uniform discarded in the corner of the room. Green eyes reemerged and molded her mouth to the commanders, coming up for breath only once. Maria braced herself for the ‘angry sex’ that would come next, knowing the routine. She knew the harsh movements that were to come, the ones that would leave them both exhausted and unable to think of what caused them to be angry in the first place. She waited for it.  

But it never came. What started off as teeth clashing, and lip biting morphed into long holds, foreheads pressed together. There was no longer fire in the eyes of the woman in Maria’s arms, there was pain. And so the older woman held her tightly and kissed her softly, the original goal of the night long forgotten. She pushed a loose curl out of Natasha’s face and was abundantly grateful that she had always been skilled at changing plans on the fly. 

“No I…” the Russian tried to push Maria off, “I want- I still want-” her voice cracked as a tear rolled down her face. 

“Just let me hold you for a minute,” the brunette shushed her quietly and tried to make it sound like the position they were in was for her own benefit. In a way it was. 

“I need… I need to feel Masha,” the tears were coming more steadily now as she burrowed her face into the crook of Maria's neck. 

She hadn’t ever seen her like this in person before. The “hey Masha” videos were close, but Natasha had always cleaned herself up before Maria got to the destination. There was something about seeing her like this now, so raw, that threatened to break Maria’s heart. She pulled the redhead in close and kissed the top of her head. 

“Then feel, feel me, feel that I’m here,” the brunette covered Natasha’s right ear and guided her left until it was perfectly positioned over her heart.

The warmth of the woman’s face on her chest was contrasted by the cool tears that ran down her side as they continued to flow. The younger woman placed her hand flat on the Commander's ribs, slowly moving her fingers in the spaces between the bones before reaching out and tracing the outline of an old scar, followed by a tattoo, then another scar. It was as if she was feeling every inch of the brunette's body that differed from other people. 

She sat with the Russian, counting her breaths as she continued to cry until the tears stopped and the breathing slowed, “better?”

“I’m sorry,” her voice was small and timid.

“You never need to apologize to me for things like this,” the blue-eyed woman kissed the top of the head of the woman still pressed against her chest. 

“But I promised you sex,” again her voice was small.

“That doesn't matter to me, you never have to keep your word with sex. You know that,” the deputy director remembered the conversation they had about consent and how it took another three times for the Russian to really get it. It seemed the talk didn’t truly stick, or at least she wanted to be reassured.     

Natasha hummed and continued to trace the brunette's body. 

“What else can I do for you?” Maria kept her voice low, her question honest. She would do whatever the woman needed. 

“What’s this one from?” the Russian asked, tracing her finger over an old scar on the outside of Maria's leg. 

“Hopping a chain link fence as a kid,” she smiled at the memory.

“And this one?” fingers lightly trailed over a scar on her collarbone. 

“Bullet casing burn from a firefight overseas,” this one she smiled less at, they had been pinned for a few hours. There was so much adrenaline coursing through her veins she hadn’t noticed the burn until she took off her uniform hours later. 

“Why a mountain range?” the redhead touched the tattoo placed on the woman's hip.

“One for every tour of duty,” she paused, “my squad and I got them after our combat patch. Every time we deployed we’d get another.

“So you went two times into war zones?” Natasha leaned up slightly to get a better look. 

“Three,” the brunette corrected and answered the follow-up question that was sure to come, “the last time, I was the only one who came back. It felt wrong to get another without them.”

Natasha knew the background story of how Hill got to SHIELD, she was aware that the solider had lost people in the military. They each had their own skeletons in the closet, it just so happened that the Deputy Director had a few that were the property of the US government. 

“Would you get more?”

“More tattoos?” Maria questioned back, running her fingers through the green-eyed woman’s hair. 

The redhead hummed again, she had none, the life of a spy was to be as average and none remarkable as possible for most missions. 

“I’ve been wanting another for a while now,” she absentmindedly touched the one on her thigh and then the one on her rib cage, “they say once you start you can't stop, and I started too long ago to stop now.”  

“What would it be?” 

“I don't know, I used to think that they all needed a deeper meaning. But at this point, I’d get just about anything.”

“But, I like that they have meaning,” the Russian sounded a little more like her usual self.

“Well, if Natasha Romanoff thinks that they should have meaning, then who am I to refuse her wishes?” she joked, stilling her fingers for a moment which earned a disgruntled noise from the woman on her chest. 

“You’d be like most people,” the redhead sat up and looked the Commander in the eyes, “and you, Maria Hill, are not like most people.” 

It took everything in the brunette to not kiss the woman in front of her right then and there, to not ask her to stay the night, stay the day, and stay all the spaces between.  Her eyes are still puffy from crying Hill, get it together .

“How about you come with me next time I get one?” she couldn't help herself, there had to be more to their story. 

“It’s a date,” Natasha smiled and got off the bed, something Maria told her that the spy knew exactly what she had just done.

The acting Director got back up and threw her undershirt on before zipping her uniform back up. She still had 20 minutes before she was expected back and wondered if it was enough time for her to grab food from the cafe a few floors down.    

“Thanks again, for this” the Russian had thrown her hair into a bun and pulled an old t-shirt on, a t-shirt that Maria quickly recognized. 

“That’s where that went,” she walked over to the woman and pulled the fabric of the shirt between her fingers. Soft and worn from years of wearing it, the Led Zeppelin logo severely faded. 

“You only ever wear your uniform or SHIELD-issued gear now. I didn’t think you’d miss it but if you want it back…” Natasha knew that she wouldn’t actually willingly give the shirt back. 

“No, you’re right, and it looks better on you anyway,” the Commander pulled her boots on and laced them up quickly. 

“Back to work?” she asked, walking Maria back to the door to her room. 

“Back to work,” she confirmed, “I’m acting Director while Fury gets you all set, so if you need anything you can find me in the bridge from 12am to 12am for the foreseeable future.”  

“Sounds terrible,” the Russian scrunched up her nose. 

“It is,” Maria sighed and turned to face the woman beside her, “I’ll see you later, don’t pick on the new kids too much. The scientist seems sensitive,”

“No promises,” Natasha craned her neck and kissed Maria delicately on the corner of her mouth, “bye Ria.”

“Bye Nat.”

The sound of the door locking was all Maria needed to snap back to reality. She kept her footsteps light until she knew she was in the clear from Clint or any other agent wandering the halls of the ship. Her feet instinctively carried her to the cafe where she took her first real breath as a few agents walked by. 

“This it Deputy Director?” the man behind the counter scanned her lukewarm coffee and sad salad. 

“Yeah that will do it-” she stopped as her eyes landed on a juice from the cooler, “actually throw this on there too please.” 

“You got it, anything else ma’am?” The beep from the latest item was loud.

“Nope that’s it thank you,” she paid and looked down at her phone, if she really tried she could leave the juice in the med bay and still make it back within the hour. 

She walked back to the stairwell and took the steps two at a time, leaving her slightly winded as she got to the entrance of the level. Drinking 5 cups of coffee does not count as cardio, even if your heart makes you think otherwise. 

The rooms were dark and mostly quiet as she passed them one by one until she got to the nurse's station. 

“Do you know if they’re up still?” she asked the nurse who was typing away at the computer. 

“Not sure ma’am, the last check-in was an hour ago and the little one was still up.”

“Thanks,” the brunette replied, swiping her card and trying her best to slide the door open as quietly as possible. 

“She’s still awake,” May spoke quietly from her chair by the door. 

“Which means you still are,” she took in the sight of the room, the bags they had brought in looked like they had been half explored, and snack wrappers were piled up on the tabletop. 

“Correct,” the woman's voice sounded tired. 

Maria walked further into the room and saw Phil asleep in the recliner by the bed. Elizaveta’s eyes were heavy as she stared at the Commander, her shoes had been placed back on her feet and Maria wanted to know what the story was behind that. 

“Can I give her J-U-I-C-E?” she spelled out, keeping the container behind her back. 

“I doubt the sugar in that will keep her any more awake than she already is, go for it,” Melinda sighed and tilted her head back against the wall behind her. 

“Hi Elizaveta,” Maria walked slowly towards the child who gave no reaction, “I brought you something.”

The child eyed her as she sat on the far end of the bed. Maria noticed that while the IV was no longer in her arm, the feeding tube was still present. 

“All set on fluids?” She looked over to the woman by the door. 

“Set enough to where they stopped replacing it every time she pulled it out,” May gave a small smile, “she’s tough, this one.”

“Not too tough for juice I hope?” Maria looked back to the girl who perked up at the sight of the container, “what’s with the shoes?”

“We tried to walk around the medbay earlier, she wouldn't take them off when we got back.”

Maria opened the container and handed it to the girl who took it quickly. 

“Hold this while I take these off,” the brunette talked to the girl who scooted away as she got closer, “it won't hurt, I’m just trying to help so you don’t have stinky feet.”

The reality was, that the rash on the sole of her foot needed air or it would continue to grow. The girl only pulled back one more time before Maria pulled the velcro and took the shoes off, one at a time. 

“Thank you,” the agent sighed from the door, “Phil refuses to make her do anything that she even  looks  hesitant about.”

“You just have to walk her through things and show her that they won't hurt, I think,” or at least that was her experience with the child. 

Elizaveta had finished half of the juice before she stuck it back out to Maria who placed it on the rolling tabletop next to her. The girl then went back into defensively curling up on the bed and staring at the adults in the room. 

“Any updates?” she asked the agent.

“Let’s see,” she pulled out her phone and opened up the document that had today's date, “so far, the metabolism stabilizers don’t seem to have any side effects, we like candy, juice, and oh beef stew so thank you for that. We do not like male physicians or IVs, or the noise that the overhead lights make in the hallway.”

“The fluorescent ones?” Maria looked up at the lights above them, they were both off, and non-fluorescent. 

“Yeah, hence the outing that lasted all of 35 seconds. We also don't like changing out of our clothes, but warm washcloths on the face seem to be okay,” Melinda looked up from her phone and smiled at the little girl, “what else am I missing?”

Elizaveta shook her head. 

“Oh right, we do know to say ‘no’ which I would say is useful but it seems to be one of the only words she wants to use.”

“It’s a good one to know,” Maria glanced at her watch, she had about 30 more seconds before she would need to leave, “try and get some sleep, both of you.”

She got up and turned around to stare once more at the child. One of the girl’s curls had fallen into her eyes and she used her whole hand to push it out of the way quickly, making sure to keep her eyes on Maria the whole time. 

“Bye Mel, let me know if you need anything,” she turned on her heel and started out the door. 

“Bye Ria, thank you for everything you’ve already done,” May kept her eyes on the child. 

“No problem, bye little bear,” she called to the girl on the bed who blinked and nodded ever so slightly. 

“Then why are we not on a course to Germany?” The acting Director was running on countless cups of coffee, 6 hours of sleep over the last 3 days, and her wits end, "No, please speak up, please let me know why the FUCK we are headed towards Greece,” she spoke through her teeth.

“I apologize ma’am I thought that they were close and I didn’t write down which country with a ‘G’ it was,” an agent spoke quietly as the rest of the bridge fell silent. 

“Because you thought they were close? Desk duty, one month, I do not want to see you, I do not want to acknowledge your existence, I do not want to know that you are on my ship for one month, do I make myself clear?” she knew she was being harsh but she couldn’t handle this type of fuck up. 

“Yes, ma’am. Do you still want me to finish my shift?” He glanced at the agent next to him. 

 “Agent Gerber how old are you?” she squared her shoulders and looked at the man.

“27 ma’am,” he swallowed.  

“So how about you act like a 27-year-old, do some critical thinking and get off my fucking bridge,” she turned to face the full room, “Set a course to follow the direct path of the Quinjet 4, to Germany. I will not ask again.”

Her feet were loud against the metal below them as she walked back to her office to cool down. They had a hit from some of Starks tech a few hours earlier, Natasha and Steve had taken a quinjet to go and hopefully secure both Loki and the Tesseract. The Helicarrier's only job was to get there as soon as possible to provide air support if needed. 

She had, wrongfully, entrusted that the night shift would be able to follow simple directions while the Commander took a 30-minute power nap. Thirty minutes later, she did not feel refreshed and was trying her best to not break her teeth as she clenched her jaw after finding out they were not on the right path. 

The minty gum filled her mouth as she rested her head on the desk in front of her. She counted her breaths and tried to focus on the smell of old coffee and the second piece of gum she put in her mouth. Her mind was finally starting to calm down as she heard knocking on her door.  I swear this better be good . 

“Enter,” she sat up straight and let out one long breath. 

“Hill, why the hell is there a fully grown man on the verge of tears in my stairwell?” Fury didn’t wait for her to finish saying enter before the door was open and he was asking questions. 

“Because that fully grown man doesn't know basic geography and decided that Greece and Germany were close enough to set a course to the former,” she felt annoyance creep back in.

“I thought you went over geography with agents last week,” he raised a single eyebrow.

“I did!” she threw her hands up in exasperation, “with Charlie team, apparently everyone needs a refresher course.”

The brunette calmed her features, she had only seen Fury once in the last few days and that was when Steve and Stark were fighting over something she couldn’t bother herself to remember. It had been a long few days of not only doing her job but the Directors as well, and she knew it wasn’t over yet. 

“Well get your compass out, Romanoff just let us know they are 5 minutes out,” the one-eyed man flipped his coat and exited the room. How he knew the agent was 5 minutes out, along with how he looked not even the slightest bit tired, was beyond her. 

“Got it, sir,” she answered to the now empty office. 

Her hands opened the charging case on her desk and shoved the comms device into her ear without thought. There was a moment of silence before she was connected to the control tower, and then on a direct line to Steve and Natasha. 

“You’re connected to the bridge and mission control,” she spoke clearly, trying to make it sound like she wasn’t drained. 

“Evening, Hill,” Steve responded, ever the gentleman.

“Hi, Ria,” Natasha answered and Maria could almost hear the smile on her face as she used the improper greeting. 

“Expect a fight, the God hasn’t encountered a SHIELD agent without firing off a few rounds yet. We’ve informed local authorities of the situation and will be able to provide air support… at some point. But don’t rely on it.” She placed the gum between her teeth as she felt the tension grow.

“Don’t worry,” a third voice crackled in, “I’ll play the role of air support, and the role of billionaire, and the role of… well overall badass.”

“Stark this is a secure line, and you were asked to stay on the carrier,” Maria rolled her eyes and walked out of her office, heading for the monitors in the center of the room to stay vigilant. 

“And you were asked to stop being a party pooper,” he sighed, “and your security is garbage, like the hot smelly kind, I’m doing a full revamp of the system.”

“You can’t just renovate a full security system, it’s a federal plan that would take-” she stared.

“Blah blah blah, listen if I’m going to be working with this agency I’m not going to be confined by these security shackles from the 80s. Plus I already started it so you can't really tell me no. In fact, you could say something like ‘thanks Tony’ or “you’re the best-” his voice was thick with mischief before he was cut off.

“Approaching drop off,” Romanoff cut in.

“Got eyes on the God,” Steve said with a grunt. 

Maria was pretty sure the super soldier had just jumped from the jet but wasn’t positive until she saw him on a local CCTV they had pulled up. He shook out his legs and jogged over to the center of the square where Loki was quickly approaching an older man. From this angle, they would only have video, no audio.

Or at least that was how it had always been in the past, this time however she was able to hear with some clarity what was being said. She wondered how quickly Stark would have improvements made to other aspects of the agency. There was only so much she could do from her spot on the carrier, still, she kept an eye out for anything suspicious.

“Romanoff ready the jet, it looks like it’s getting dicey out there,” she spoke as she watched the events of Loki unfold. 

By the time the God was in SHIELD custody, Maria had learned her way around the newly improved software on the ship. It was concerning how intuitive it was, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell Fury about it for fear that it might have been taken away. 

“Target secure, returning back to the Carrier now,” Natasha's voice came in clear, clearer than Maria could ever remember. 

“Handing you off to air control, good work everyone,” she took out her earpiece and switched channels to the appropriate people. 

The setup of the offices on the Helicarrier was different from other bases. Fury, Hill, and Coulson all had offices on the bridge, in that order. Furys was first, closest to the action, and the largest with its own metal bridge that walked out over the heads of agents and directly to the glass that overlooked the ship and sky ahead. 

The deputy director took in the sight from this door as she read “don’t even try mother fucker” written on a small label right above the doorknob. Which was a good enough defense against most people, but as Natasha had told her a few nights prior, Maria Hill was not most people. And so, she knocked. 

“Hill, this better be good,” the Director called from behind the door.

She opened it and found herself face to face with the Director who was putting eye drops into his scarred eye. Maria had only seen it once before after an explosion had flipped his eyepatch up, she tried not to stare. 

“Loki and the tesseract are both en route,” she looked at the space above his eyes.

“So should we expect them in the next hour or the next few hours when we are in Greece?” he blinked a few times and placed the eyepatch back where it normally sat. 

“In an hour, sir,” she shook her head, thinking about the agent's mistake, “I can get you the tesseract for phase two as soon as they land.” 

“I’ll join you on the tarmac. I want you to take the target to the holding cell in sublevel 3 and then drag Rogers and Romanoff to the medbay for a once over, I can’t have mind control spies on board.”

“Got it, sir,” she waited for him to dismiss her. 

“I then want you to sleep for at least 6 hours before returning to the command center, you’re looking a little… feisty,” the man chose his words carefully, “you’re dismissed.”

She left and closed the door a little too loudly.  Feisty, who did he even think he was ? 

“Ma’am,” an agent called out. 

“What?” she turned her head to snap back.  Okay, maybe Fury had a point . 

“I wanted to let you know Quinjet 4 will be returning in 43 minutes, ma’am,” he stared at the ground. 

“Thank you, agent,” she tried out a softer tone before walking back to the control station.

Forty-three minutes, she just needed to be on her feet for forty-three more minutes, followed by transport and the medbay, before she could lay down in her bed and go to sleep. She wasn’t the only one feeling the pressure, from what she had heard (and been told during a “hey Hill” video) there had already been some heated moments between members of the Avenger team. Fury had been present and was able to keep most of it at bay, it was to be expected. 

He was trying to bring together a group of individuals from not only all over the country but all over the universe that had drastically different personalities and thought processes. There was no way they weren't going to butt heads, it just needed to be handled properly. She knew that Fury was the man for the job and suddenly felt bad about being “feisty”. The man was probably running on less sleep than she was and dealing with much bigger problems. 

And so Maria Hill found herself writing up the mission report from her end and sending Natasha, Steve, and now Tony Stark electric copies for them to fill out. She had finished the report and started to fill in the others from what she could recall before her 43 minutes were up and it was time to transport a God. A sentence the woman from Chicago never thought that she would say. 

“Fury will be down here to talk to you at a later time,” she slapped her hand over the engage button and left the God in the cell. 

“If you truly believe that you can hold the strength of a GOD in this-” the greasy god started yelling from his spot in the container. 

“I already told you I’m fine, Hill,” Natasha rolled her eyes again, “I don't need to go to the medbay, watch the tapes he never even got the chance to touch me!”  

“Oh, believe me, one day I will have the chance to touch you and it will be a touch of pain. Pain so intense that your mere mortal mind could-” he started again.

“It’s coming from Fury there’s only so much I can do, Rogers is already there” Maria argued, knowing that the Russian would eventually cave. 

“Fury will be nothing, reduced to ash by the time I-” 

“The director will be here to talk to you at some point in the future,” the brunette reiterated to the God.

“You’ve mentioned,” he sighed and stepped away from the glass. 

“I’ll help you fill out your forms, two birds one stone,” the two women exited the sublevel, leaving Loki with a full team of guards to watch him. 

“Fine, but only because I don’t want a lecture from Steve about how I’m ‘not being a team player’ again,” the redhead followed Maria up the stairwell, “plus, not a bad view.” 

“Eyes on the stairs Romanoff, wouldn't want you to fall,” the Commander forced down a smile and continued to climb the stairs.

“Yeah, wouldn't want to fall for the deputy director… I mean fall because of the deputy director… I mean that if I was staring at your ass and-” the Russian continued to ramble until they got to the medbay level. 

“Well hello there Elizaveta,” Maria stopped short a few steps, sending a rambling Romanoff trying to regain her footing. 

The little girl was staring at the Commander, still in her tattered clothing, but this time new shoes were on her feet, ones that seemed to fit her much better. She was also disconnected from all tubes and wires, either by choice or she was making improvements. 

“See this is what I meant about falling for- no I mean BECAUSE of the deputy director,” Natasha finally got back to the top of the stair, “oh, hi Phil”

But before she could say hi to the child, she was gone. Her eyes going from wide and scared to closed and gone in a portal in a matter of seconds. 

“Damn it,” Phil sighed and pulled out his phone, “Yeah, she got spooked, she there? Great, yeah no I’ll head back now.”

“Holy shit,” now it was Natasha with wide eyes.

“Yesterday we got to walk around a little bit, she teleported 4 times. Today it was only once so… improvement? I think?” He walked with them back into the inner workings of the medbay, “as of now she only ever teleports back to the hospital bed or under the table."

“Can she go other places?” Maria waited as Natasha signed herself in.

“No clue, it seems like she either can't or won't go anywhere she hasn’t already been a few times. Last night she teleported into the bathroom to pee but it takes a lot out of her, we found her asleep on the tiles on the floor,” he smiled and shook his head, “it was scary when we thought we lost her but really really cute.”

“Maybe throw a tracker on her,” Maria suggested, earning a laugh from the Russian.

“I trust her, she hasn’t really done anything crazy in the last day, that’s why I was surprised when she left just now,” he furrowed his brow. 

“She thinks Nat’s from the Red Room,” the commander looked at the woman next to her.

“Well I am from the Red Room… originally,” the woman cocked her head to the side.

“Right, but she got scared because she thinks you’re going to take her back I think.”

“Come by after you check out, I want her to know you’re safe. If you’re comfortable with that,” the handler waited.

“Yeah, alright.”

“Romanoff?” the nurse called from behind the station, “docs will see you, room 3.”

The Commander and the Ex-assassin walked down the hall and into room 3. If there was one thing that was constant, even on a helicarrier, it was that waiting for a doctor would take enough time for them to get comfortable. Or at least Maria got comfortable while she watched Natasha shift around on the crinkly paper of the examination table, she would never truly be comfortable in a hospital.   

“Alright, so I have it filled in until Cap first engaged the target, what happened from your view next,” the deputy director listened as the woman in front of her gave her half of the report.

They sat like that for another 20 minutes before she was checked over, the physician found nothing out of the ordinary. He gave her a clean bill of health and they finished up the report in the following minutes. 

“See, not so bad right? And now you’re free,” Maria stood up first.

“I guess, what are you doing now?” 

“Fury gave me the next 6 hours off to sleep, want me to come with you to see the kid?” She could see the tension relax on the spy's face.

“Please.”

It was getting into the later part of the evening as they walked over to the girl's hospital room, the lights shining from behind the curtains that had been pushed to the side of the sliding door. Maria swiped her card and entered first, trying to buy them more time before the girl panicked. 

“Don’t worry, it’s just Maria and her friend who you met one time. Just like I told you,” it was strange to hear May speak so kindly. 

“Hi there little bear,” the Commander walked further into the room, “you remember Nata- no no don't close your eyes!”

“Hey hey wait, I’m safe ” Natasha rattled off the phrase quickly in Russian, “I’m not from The Room .”

The girl squinted before responding, “You say that you are not but you said it like the madams and misters, you talk like they did to me. ”

The adults, sans Natasha, all stood there stunned. The girl had never spoken more than 4 words at a time. Her voice was little and sweet even as she was talking about something that clearly angered her. 

“I was just trying to help you, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you ,” Natasha took a seat on the bed, “I bet you’re really scared right now.” 

“I… I am strong, not scared. You fear, you die. I am strong. I do not fear.” The child said it in a way that sounded as if she was reciting something, but it wasn’t a mantra Natasha knew. 

“The Red Room taught you that ?” the Redhead questioned.

“Yes.”

“You will learn there are many things they taught you that are incorrect,” she let out a breath, it was creeping into uncomfortable territory for the Russian, “what else did they teach you? English I would guess. Fighting, pickpocketing.  ”

“Yes,” the girl answered in English. 

“But you prefer they do not know you speak something other than the mother tongue?”

“Yes ,” she shifted back to Russian, “so they dunno that I can understand them .”

Maria looked at Phil who continued to stare, she herself knew some Russian, as did May but Phil knew nothing. He was essentially standing in the dark as the conversation continued between the two Russians on the bed. 

“You don’t need to do that here, you can speak English with them, they already know,” Natasha tried to fill the others in. 

“But you don’t have to if you don't want to,” Phil chirped up and took the girl by surprise. 

“I do not want English all time,” her accent was thick and the words weren’t perfect but the important items were said.

“Do you know why you’re here?” Maria asked.

Elizaveta looked at Natasha, “Because I got caught and I’m going to jail forever.” 

“No, you’re not going to prison forever. You’re here because you were left behind,” the redhead looked pitifully at the child next to her. 

“I did not get left behind, Kyra would not leave me! The Room would not leave me!” The child had tears in her eyes. 

“The Red Room would leave you if they thought you were better off gone,” Natasha needed the child to understand that.   

“Would not leave me, they are strongest place in the world, not leave me!” this time she yelled it in English.

“They would, they aren’t the strongest, why do you think they operate in the shadows?” the Russian pushed it, “Do you remember where you were before you worked with the God?”

The girl shook her head, “Dunno a lot before, only little pieces before and after the red spray.”

“Red spray?” Natasha didn’t know anything about that.

“Spray so you go to sleep but your body keeps going,” she scrunched up her face.

“Where did this happen? In the Room?”

“Yes, but also before you end missions so you don't wake up when they take you again,” she pushed hair out of her face and stared at Natasha. 

“Come here,” the woman tried to ask gently but it still made the child flinch, the phrase had been used as a weapon no doubt. 

Still, the little girl scooted over to the other side of the bed, where Natasha tried to run her fingers through her hair, only to be stopped by the matting. Maria winced at how the child didn't react even as her hair was being pulled.  

“When you finish a mission what do you do?” she asked the girl who perked up at the question, clearly knowing the answer. 

“Go to madams or sirs, wait for spray to wear off, stand by partner and fill in gaps or tell when they are lying, take punishment,” the girl cast her gaze downwards. 

“And after that?” The redhead hadn’t actually meant for her to explain that part, only the steps after.

“Shower, redress, braid hair, sleep,” Elizaveta looked up with big eyes. 

“You’re right. You finished your mission a few days ago and yet you’re not changed, why?” Natasha asked in a voice that sent a shiver down Maria’s spine. This wasn’t her Tasha, this was a woman who was raised in the Red Room. 

“I do not know how to braid my hair yet alone,” the girl spoke very softly, clearly ashamed at what she had said, “Kyra did my hair or other big girls.”

“Well now you have me to do it, and Phil or May, whoever learns faster,” the Russian stood up, “you have to shower first okay?”

The child nodded and walked over to where Natasha was now standing in the bathroom. Phil followed them into the bathroom with a stack of clothing and towels, the man looked like he was prepared for beach day with 20 children. 

“Here,” the redhead took the stack of clothes and found a long-sleeved shirt and shorts, both rather plain, “actually just give me everything, I got it from here.” 

Coulson looked between the two in the bathroom, “are you sure? Ellie, are you okay with that?”

“Phil, I said I got it,” Natasha was tired as she scooted the man out, “just let me be The Room for her one more time so she can ease into normal life.”

And with that, the door was closed and the sound of the shower started. The door between the two rooms wasn't thick so they could all hear Natasha explaining what was happening, including how the ship had warm water. 

“What just happened?” The handler looked at the two women who were sitting at the table in the corner. 

“Nat just took one for the team,” Maria was the first to answer, “she speaks ‘broken baby widow’ better than anyone else”

“But do you think that’s going to make her regress or something?”

“Babe, she needed a shower, and to change out of those clothes,” May let out a long breath, “I was worried we were going to have to sedate her to get that done.”

“If she wasn’t ready though or if she gets uncomfortable or-” Phil started to spiral.

“Hey, do you trust Tasha?” Maria spoke up.

“Of course,” he replied without hesitation.

“Then don’t worry, she’s got it, and if not she can just portal out,” the Commander looked at her watch, she was down to 5 hours of sleep but this was with it, “Noticed the tubes are gone from… what did you call her? Ellie?”

“It just kinda spilled out yesterday, and she seems to like it,” May shrugged, “No more tubes, she's eating more regularly now. But if she loses any weight they all come back.” 

“Fingers crossed,” Maria responded.

They all sat there and listened to what was happening in the bathroom, from the sounds of it there were a lot of tangles in the girl's hair. Natasha still had on the voice that Maria didn’t like, but every once in a while it would soften and the commander relaxed.  

Phil insisted on changing the sheets to a set he had May pick up in DC. They were blue with little planets and rocket ships all over them. He smiled as he stripped the hospital white ones and started placing the new ones on.

“How do you know she likes space?” Maria helped him change the pillow cases.

“I didn't,” he dumped another bag that had 4 more sets of sheets all with different colors and patterns, “yesterday we were looking up things to watch and she stopped on the space show.”

Maria smiled, her friends were going to make great parents, “good job, Phil.”

“I’m just hoping that she'll grow into loving Captain America one day,” he finished tucking in the corners of the bed. 

Melinda laughed, “Not if I have any say in the matter.”

“We can’t all grow up to love General Charles Yeager,” Phil sighed and looked at Maria, “first pilot to ever break the sound barrier.”

“Better than a man from the ’30s in tights,” the raven-haired agent cocked an eyebrow. 

“Yeager is barely younger than Captain Rogers,” he straightened out the blankets, “and it doesn't really matter as long as she likes someone from the Avengers.”

Maria couldn't help but snort laugh, the man’s obsession with Captain America was only rivaled by his love of the Avengers initiative. The Commander herself didn’t see the team working out in the long run, too many differences in the options and personalities of said “heroes”. Still, she listened to her friend's spiel about it every time he got on a roll.

“Listen, it's going to work. I just know it. They are going to come together and we’re going to be able to breathe for once.” 

“Whatever you say, Phil,” Maria smirked and looked at the man's partner who just rolled her eyes.     

After a full 20 minutes, the shower turned off and the child emerged from the room in the long sleeve and shorts. She was nearly unrecognizable from the girl who went into the bathroom, her hair was wet and curly, stopping just below her shoulders, her face was all the way clean and her green eyes looked even brighter now. She still looked scared, but a touch more relaxed as she walked back to the bed.

“Mine?” she noticed the new sheets and ran her fingers over them.

“All yours, sweetie,” Phil beamed. 

“Brush and hair ties?” Natasha looked at the handler.

“Here,” he scurried over to a bag that had both items, “I also have detangler.”

The Russian took all of the items and stood behind the child, spraying her hair before running the comb through it. Her fingers worked quickly if not a little harsh as she braided two perfect braids. She was done in a matter of minutes and rested her hand on the girl's right shoulder, squeezing twice. 

The child spun around quickly and stared at Natasha, “how do you know Kyra’s taps ?” 

“It’s a secret, now you have to sleep,” the redhead responded in Russian, “I gotta go, coming Maria?”

“Um.. yeah- yeah let’s go,” the Commander looked at the other two adults who looked as confused at the abrupt exit as she was. 

“Great, bye guys,” Natasha swiped her card and exited the room, making a beeline to the stairwell. 

Maria followed and didn’t say anything as they took turn after turn until the Russian was standing in front of the deputy director's bunk. Why they were at her place and not Natasha’s was beyond her and she unlocked the door, letting the woman next to her enter first. 

“Fucking hell,” the first words out of the green-eyed woman's mouth, “God I need a drink, I need many drinks. And- fuck god that was awful I sounded just like-”

The quarters were small but well equipped as Maria pulled out a bottle of bourbon and poured two glasses. She pushed one into Natasha’s hand before turning on the shower as hot as it would run. 

“Yes,” the redhead downed the drink in one swallow, “that, that is what I need right now.”

Maria downed her own drink before stripping out of her clothes and pulling the Russian into the bathroom where steam already started to gather. She pulled the tac suit that the woman in front of her was still wearing, down and kissed her passionately. 

“Come on,” she led them both into the shower, letting Natasha get the hot water first, “what else do you need?”

“This, this is what I need,” green eyes closed as she tilted her head back into the shower before opening them again and staring at Maria, “and you; always need you, Mia.” 

The older woman hummed, “you just want me for my body and my bourbon.”

“And what’s so wrong with that?” the Russian looped her arms around the back of Maria’s neck and pulled her into a kiss.

“Nothing,” Maria lied, “nothing at all.”

She tried to focus on the kiss, on the contrast between the warm water and the cold hands of Natasha. She tried her best not to think about how this was what she wanted all the time, rain or shine, she wanted the woman who currently had her pinned against the tile wall. The good thing about human anatomy is, when the right areas are touched, thoughts tend to disappear. 

Which is how the Commander stayed for too long, blissfully out of her own mind while Natasha fulfilled her end of the angry sex that had been started days prior. 

Chapter Text

“You did NOT just check your watch,” Natasha stopped kissing Maria’s neck and widened her eyes. 

“Fury gave me 6 hours, I’m down to 3 and I know that you have a lot of anger to work through but… I don't think my body can handle any more sex without me falling asleep when I get back to my desk,” she winced and immediately threw her limbs over the Russian to keep her from bolting, “No, don't run.”

“You’re the worst, you know that? COMMANDER HILL IS THE WORST!” the redhead yelled from her spot on the bed with a smile, “SHE IS REFUSING SEX BECAUSE WORK IS MORE IMPORTANT AND EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW-”

Maria clamped her hand over the woman's mouth and laughed, “You’re going to get me in trouble, Nat!”

The younger woman licked her hand, “ew!”

“That's the point, if I get you in trouble you don't have to go,” she wiggled her eyebrows, “also don't say 'ew' as if your tongue wasn’t inside my body 2 minutes ago.”  

“Fair point,” Maria shrugged and got up to take another shower, “come on, let me help you get cleaned up.”

Natasha threw her head back, “only if it leads to one more round.”

“Fine,” the brunette chuckled and turned the shower back on, “you’re a menace.”

“Only to your body,” the redhead kissed her shoulder and followed her into the steam. 

“And to bartenders,” Maria sucked in a gasp as lips found their way to her pulse point, “and the armory,” she shuddered as kisses came in rapid succession down her chest, “and to anyone you think has ties to the Red Room.”

The kisses stopped and Maria looked down to see the woman letting out a long breath, “you’re a real mood killer, you know that?”

“Only when you need to be pushed,” she cupped the Russian's face and kissed her deeply, “and you need to be pushed on this.” 

“Lewer me in with sex and then make me talk about my feelings, not fair Ria.”

“You need to talk to someone about it,” Maria pulled her shampoo bottle out and poured some into both of their hands. 

“That’s what my therapist is for,” Natasha washed her hair and there was something about the fact that she would smell like Maria for the rest of the day that made her heart happy.  

“The therapist you stopped going to a month ago?” 

“It’s not my fault,” she tried to argue back, “Okay it’s a little my fault, but that’s what Barton is for.”

“Barton said you’re walling him off,” Maria rinsed out her hair. 

“I’ll kill him, when did he tell you that? I swear- ow,”

“Here,” the blue-eyed woman took a washcloth and got the shampoo out of the Russian's eye.

Defeated, Natasha leaned against the tile, “thanks, I guess I just didn’t think that The Room was still around but then with her… she’s just like I was and my heart breaks because she has to go through something that I thought we ended.  Poor little Lizochka .”

“I know,” Maria pulled her in until their bodies were flush against each other, “we can find them and end them. For good this time.”

“What if it’s too late? What if Yelena is… what if she’s gone?” Natasha found herself pushing into the crook of Maria’s neck.

“Then we find her too,” she waited, knowing that wasn’t the type of ‘gone’ the redhead was referring to, “and if we can't find her, we do the right thing in her memory.” 

“How are you so good at this, Masha?”  

“Fury says it's because I’m quick on my feet and know how to adapt,” she smiled.

“I think there’s more to it,” the Russian tilted her head and placed a kiss on Maria’s jawline. 

Maybe there was more to it, but the Commander couldn’t think about that right now. All she could think of was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen pressed against her… and the remaining hours she had before she was supposed to be back at work. 

By the time they were out of the shower and Natasha was on her way back to her own quarters, it was past midnight. She set her alarm and closed her eyes for the few hours of sleep she'd get in a proper bed, hoping that she could get a few more on her couch at work.  

“I thought I told you at least six hours, Hill,” Fury called out from the command center, the few agents at work startling at the sudden commotion. 

“I was gone for 6 hours, sir,” she logged into the side computer. 

“I said 6 hours of sleep,” he narrowed his eye. 

“Well, I’m here now, sir,” she was less grumpy but still had an edge. 

“With me,” he started walking, she fell into step as they got to his office, “I said of sleep.”

She waited, knowing this game. Fury knew something about her night, in years prior she would have admitted to everything. But she was older now, wiser, and knew that she should wait to see what he knew before digging herself into a bigger hole. Had a rookie ratted her out, seeing Natasha leave her room?

“That’s true, sir,” she watched as he pulled out a 5-hour energy and handed it to her. 

“Then why did I hear that you were with Coulson and crew after escorting Loki?” 

Bingo . All he knew was the medbay. 

“Well I was already there, taking Romanoff as you asked, and then I was just trying to help friends out,” she downed the drink. 

“And that explains why Romanoff left your quarters a few hours ago?”

Damn it. 

“You… you could say that just helping a friend out,” she raised her eyebrows.

“I don’t want to know about your sex life, Hill, I want to know that you are still able to be my right hand for phase two,” her boss was more serious for a moment.

“I am, sir,” she knew how important this project was for Fury, she wouldn’t let sex get in the way of a greater plan.

“I’m going to meet with the God tomorrow, try to understand his play,” he started typing on his computer, “listen in, two sets of ears are better than one.”

“Got it, sir,” she made a mental note to make sure she tuned into that. 

“You’re dismissed,” the Director didn’t look up from his computer. 

She turned on her heel and exited the office, walking back to the control center that she would be at for the next 12 hours at least. 

The hours ticked by, and she continued to work and find new aspects of Starks updates until her calendar reminder went off. She positioned herself with as much privacy as possible as she watched Fury and Loki talk to one another. Or rather she watched as the God tried to weasel his way into the Director’s mind, something that had little to no success until the very end. Only in the last sentence did Fury falter once, his annoyance creeping into his tone. 

“How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war, you steal a force you can't hope to control, you talk about peace and you kill cause it’s fun,” he breathed out, “you have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did.” 

The God squinted his eyes and let out a breath, “it burdens you to have come so close, to have the tesseract, to have power, unlimited power, and for what? A warm light for all of mankind to share?”

Maria watched as the God continued to pace around the cell, his calm demeanor nearly sending a shiver down her spine. He was plotting something and she was glad Fury had allowed her to watch the interaction. 

“And then to be reminded of what real power is.” Loki smiled.

“Well let me know if ‘real power’ wants a magazine or something,” Fury walked towards the exit of the sublevel. The man always had the power of getting the last word in. 

She waited a few more minutes until her boss was standing next to her.

“Any ideas?” He kept his eye on the sky ahead of them.  

“No, but it’s obvious there is a plan of some sort. I don't like being on the waiting side of this,” she turned to look at him, keeping her back to the agents working below them. 

“I don’t either, I’m sending in Romanoff.”

“Romanoff, sir?” She thought Barton would have been the first one up, having experience with the God and interrogations. 

“She has a way with men,” he glanced over to his deputy, “and women too it seems. No one seems to be able to think straight around her.”

Maria had to keep herself from asking if the pun was intended. Instead, she just nodded once, “I’ll let her know, sir.”

“Do it over lunch, go take a 30.”

The brunette pulled out her phone and shot off a text to the Russian.

Maria: got a mission for you.

Nat: in the middle of something.

Maria: Orders from Fury, meet in the caf ASAP.

Seven minutes later the redhead was sitting in front of Maria, covered in a thin layer of… dust?

“Why were you in the vents?” Maria squinted and handed over a salad she had picked up for the spy.

“Confidential,” Natasha took the food, “ugh, why a salad?”

“You need to eat something other than the junk you and Barton put in your bodies,” she started eating her own, “and nothing’s confidential to me, I’m the deputy director, you aren’t allowed to have secrets from me.”

“Well I do,” the redhead stabbed at the veg before shoving it in her mouth. 

“Try again Romanoff,” Maria used her Commander voice. 

“Tony isn’t on board with the whole Phase two thing, and he’s getting into Steve’s head about it.”

“None of you have the clearance to know about phase two,” the brunette put her fork down. 

“Tell that to the two jacked up ‘heroes’ that have been snooping around,” Natasha rolled her eyes, “or at least that's what Barton and my sources have told us.”

Maria hummed, “Well tell your sources that they need to stay out of this one and that they have a piece of lint in their hair.”

The redhead ran her fingers through her hair and brushed out the debris, “they’re already in too deep.”

“Get a bucket and start bailing because I’m serious Tasha, this is above all of our paygrades.”

Natasha paused for a moment before nodding, “fine, but I want a meeting with Fury about this before it blows up.”

“Done, speaking of Fury,” she ate more salad, “he wants you to take a crack at getting Loki’s plan out of him.”

“How long do I have?”

“Until you finish that salad.”

The next two hours of events came like flashbulbs going off in Maria’s face. She tried her best to remedy each one. 

The first moment came as she listened to Natasha explain that Dr. Banner was the key to Loki’s plot, he would use the doctor to destroy the ship. She sent reinforcements to the lab. 

The next moment was the fast jerk of the ship as they lost an engine. Fury barked orders to an agent, asking if they knew how to use the sun to navigate them properly to the ground. The deputy director narrowed her eyes at the agent, knowing that he had the refresher course on geography. The agent nodded and they were back on track.

Her next flash bulb was finding the source of the blockage in the engine. She radioed Stark and Rogers to take care of it with a group of engineers.

The moment after this was when Hydra agents boarded the ship, causing an actual flash of light as they threw a grenade onto the bridge. She threw herself onto a nearby agent, saving them both but causing her head to start bleeding, her vision to blur. A medic came to patch her up as they leveled out. 

And then, everything in her world stopped. The flash exploded in her face as she heard Fury's voice over her comms device. 

“Agent Coulson is down,” Fury’s voice was quiet, and suddenly everything else was too. 

She pushed the medic on her out of the way and told them to race to the sublevel, “Medics are on their way.”

“They’re already here,” the Director's voice was somber, “they already called it.”

Her vision blurred, her mind went silent, and her body went limp. Phil was the best of them, he was the one who kept everyone together with his terrible positivity. He had so many plans with May, with-

Her feet were moving before she realized where she was going. By the time she had made it to the med bay, she was at a full sprint. Dodging the incoming agents who had been hurt while the God escaped. 

“Mel-” she swiped her card and burst into the room.

Ellie was sitting on one of the chairs at the table, watching some type of cartoon about space on a tablet… Phil’s tablet. 

“Ria?” May furrowed her brows, “What’s going on out there, it sounds like a warzone. The docs told us to stay put, which of course Phil took as a suggest-”

Suddenly Maria’s mouth was dry, no matter how many times she tried to swallow she couldn't. She couldn't get the words out. 

“Ria, why are you here and not Phil?” Melinda stood up, the child behind her looked away from the tablet, and at the encounter that was getting louder, “Maria where is he?”

All she could do was shake her head, and try to keep the tears from coming. 

“HILL, WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?”

“He…” she choked out, “he didn’t make it.”

The raven-haired agent dropped everything in her hands and walked out the door. Her face was neutral even as tears fell down her cheeks. Maria turned to chase after her before stopping at the noise still coming from the room. 

“Phil?” the little voice called out.

“Hill, where are you? I need you on the bridge,” Fury’s voice was still quiet as he instructed her back to the command center. 

She stood there for a moment, for the first time in what seemed like years, she was completely torn on what to do. Ellie’s face scrunched up, she knew something was wrong. Maria looked out of the sliding door, the medical crew was working feverishly to get agents the care they needed. No one would be able to come watch the child, there was no sight of May. 

“Hill,” Fury said again, “report.”

“Be there in five,” her voice was horse from keeping tears in. 

The girl stared at Maria as she approached the table, her eyes wide as the Commander crouched next to her chair. 

“I need you to come with me, okay?” she looked at the child who continued to stare, “we're going to go to my office and you’re going to watch movies and eat snacks and everything will be okay, but I need you to listen to me and not leave the room I put you in.” 

Ellie nodded once, picking up the tablet and holding it tight against her chest. Maria scanned the room until her eyes fell on a small purple backpack. She picked it up and saw there were already snacks and a few other items in it. Her hands made quick work of grabbing random objects from the room and putting them in the bag. 

“Ready?” she took the tablet from the child's hands and put it in her backpack before securing the bag to the child's back. 

The Commander swiped her card and was blasted with the noise of people yelling. Yelling to try and get the attention of med bay staff, yelling in pain, yelling to try and get others to stop yelling. The child put her hands over her ears and tried as best as her little legs could to keep up with the deputy director. No one was used to looking down as they moved and so agent after agent ran into the girl, pushing her into walls and other people until Maria scooped her up. 

“I got you,” the brunette looked at the girl who had wide eyes, hands still clamped over her ears. 

With the girl on her hip, Maria moved faster out of the medbay and to the staircase. The sheer volume of agents made it difficult to move to the command center, but after an additional 5 minutes, they were face to face with Fury. 

“Hill,” the Director shook his head, “this isn’t time for a field trip, you can't just bring a child-”

“Nick,” she cut him off and made sure Ellie still had her hands on her ears, “my best friend just died, his wife walked out on their soon-to-be kid, and we don’t have any other options. So with all due respect, let me do my job and do not lecture me right now.”

She didn’t notice the tears falling from her face until her boss put a hand on her shoulder and wiped one of them away from where it had fallen on her jaw. 

“Get her taken care of, then I need you out here,” his voice was low, she was barely able to make out what he had said above the yelling that was happening in the command center. 

She turned and readjusted the girl on her hip as she walked into her office, only putting her down once the door was closed. The volume from the world outside was immediately damped and the child took her hands off her ears and she sat on the couch. 

“Okay,” Maria breathed out as she sat next to the girl, “so this is my office, you can sit on the couch, you can sleep on the couch, you can sit in those two chairs.” 

She motioned to the chairs in front of her desk, “you can't go behind the desk or open any of the drawers okay?”

Ellie stared at the woman in front of her. 

“I need you to say you understand, okay?” Maria pleaded. 

“Okay,” the child’s voice was quiet. 

“Great, you can use these,” the Commander stood up and got noise canceling headphones from her desk, “to watch whatever you want on the tablet.”

She took the girl's backpack off and opened it up, retrieving the device. A pang of sadness hit her as she unlocked Phil’s tablet and pulled up the streaming service the child had been using. The headphones connected and she handed them to the girl on the couch.

“I’ll keep this open,” she stood up and drew back the blinds of her office so Ellie could oversee the bridge, “and if you need me knock on the window okay? No teleporting, got it?”

“Okay,” the girl spoke again, she was a fast learner. 

“There are snacks in the bag, I’ll come check in when I can,” Maria looked down at the bag and made sure there was food for the girl before making her way to the door, “this door will stay locked, the only people who have access to this room are safe, so you’ll be safe.”

The child nodded, looking so small from her spot on the couch, tablet, and headphones in hand. 

“Okay, knock if you need something,” Maria smiled and locked her office door behind her. 

The noise from the bridge was almost as loud as the medbay as she walked to the front of the enormous space. Fury was at the command center, watching as she stood in front of him and faced the room. 

“Listen up,” she projected her voice loud enough to reach most of the agents, suddenly the room fell silent.

She cleared her throat, “First things first, are we on stable engines?”

“We are but we’re dead in the air, ma’am,” Agent Randall spoke from his position near her. 

“Next, no more yelling. There is no need for it and it does nothing more than add to the chaos,” she stared into the crowd, “got it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the cowed roared back. 

“I know that we all lost people today,” she took in a large breath to control the emotions that were creeping into her mind, “we all lost someone today, some of us lost more than just one. What I need from you is to keep a level mind, just for these next few hours. I know that sounds like a lot, and I know that it’s a lot to ask from some of you. But we do not have the capacity to make mistakes right now, we owe it to those we lost to complete this mission.”

She wasn’t even sure what mission they were on, or how long they would be on it at this point, but she knew that emotions caused mistakes. And mistakes were unacceptable right now. 

“If you need a moment to gather yourself, please feel free to use conference room J,” she motioned to one of the last conference rooms in the room, “I need you all at your best right now, and I promise you, as soon as this is over, we will mourn our fallen.” 

She stepped back from the center of the room and glanced at Fury who nodded, “now, back to emergency protocol 193.6.1”

“Yes, ma’am,” the agents said in unison before the sound of working quickly took over.

She pushed back her own feeling of immense sadness and walked over to agent Randall who was trying his best to keep his breathing under control, “do you need a moment agent?”

“No, ma’am,” he looked her in the eyes and schooled his features. 

“Alright, then how long until we have comms back up?”

“No sure, ma’am, maybe an hour. Maybe two,” he continued typing on his computer.

“Thank you, Randall,” she made her way back to where Fury was standing, “we're looking at an hour plus until communications are back up and running.”

“And engines?” Her boss looked at her.

“We have the engineers down there now, I’ll let you know when I know, sir,” she turned to walk over to another agent who looked to be on their last calm breath. 

“Quiet the speech you gave there, Hill,” Fury called out from behind her.

“Sometimes you need to hear that what you’re doing has a greater purpose, even if in the moment all hope feels lost,” she looked at the man behind her, “push in the right direction, the direction to keep going.”

He looked down and nodded, “Romanoff, Barton, status report?”

They both waited for the response, suddenly Maria’s heart was beating fast, her breath held until she heard the voice of the Russian on the other side. 

“Medbay, Barton took a hit to the head, sir,” Natasha’s comms were fuzzy as she spoke.

“Severity?” Fury asked.

“Just need some stitches and to have a flashlight in my face, sir,” Barton responded, the smile in his voice was clear. 

“Rogers, Stark?” The director pivoted to the remaining Avengers still on board. 

“Sublevel 3, trying to help your sorry ass of- what are you guys called? Engineers, really? Well you’re doing a terrible job considering this engine is no longer functional,” Stark continued to ramble until Steve cut in. 

“Level 5, assessing weapons damage, sir.”

“Both of you to the bridge,” Fury responded, walking towards Phil's office. 

Maria focused back on the agents around her who were working quickly and quietly, enough to hear the occasional sniffle or chair scooting back as they left to go recompose themselves in the conference room. She kept her own mind calm and paid attention to work and work alone, there wasn’t time to think of anything else. Not if she wanted to keep her composure. 

Time went on, she overheard the talk that Fury gave to the two Avengers, telling them about how Phil died, still believing in the dream that they could become something more. Something greater. To be the ones to fight the battles they never could. Stark excused himself first, Rogers followed a few moments later leaving Fury to pick up the bloodied trading cards with the super soldier's face on them. 

She tried not to think about it, tried not to think about her dead friend. She went back to work until she saw Fury continuing to shuffle the cards, cards that she realized were never on the man's body. They were too valuable to have on his person as he had told the brunette multiple times when she teased him for keeping them in a clear case in the top drawer of his desk. 

Her footsteps were as quiet as her voice as she approached the Director, “Sir.”

“Agent Hill,” he didn’t look up from the items in his hands.

“Those cards,” she steadied her voice, “they were in Agent Coulson's desk, not in his jacket.”

He stared at the cards, “they needed the push, just like you said.”

“Ma’am,” Randall called from his computer, “unauthorized departure from bay 6.”

She looked to the Director, “they found it, I want communications back up eyes on everything.”

And so she went back into Commander mode, making sure everything was running as smoothly as it could be. She had her agents track the Quinjet that had left, and then focused all video input on New York based news broadcasts as soon as comms were back up fully. The buzz of the room was back as all of the agents continued to work, Maria included for a number of hours.

She sent all of the air support that they could spare into the city to try and help the Avengers, coordinating plans with the pilots and Barton, who was their current eye in the sky. The aliens continued to pour through a portal similar to the ones that Ellie opened.

“Loki has to be close to the portal,” she called out to Fury as her computer started beeping, “World council call incoming, sir.” 

Fury opened up the call, immediately becoming defensive from what the Commander could hear. She tried to stay serious even as he continued to call their decision “a stupid ass decision”.  

Before she could react to this she caught motion out of the corner of her eye, just as an agent called out to her, “rogue bird on flight path towards New York, ma’am!”

She looked at her boss, “we have a bird in motion,” her voice raised, “anyone on the deck, we have a bird in motion. Shut it down. Repeat, take off is not authorized!”

Fury was out on the flight desk before she could reason with him and let him know that it was now two jets in motion, not just one. The explosion sent a small rattle through the command center as they watched jet one hanging off the side of the ship while the second one took flight. 

It was quiet on the bridge as they all watched the jet that was on its way to detonate manhattan. She paused for a moment as she heard a faint tapping noise, but ignored it, instead opening her mouth to try and warn the Avengers team, seeing if someone could intercept the warhead. Before the words came out Fury had already gotten in touch with Stark, hoping he could take the nuclear weapon off its course. 

The brunette turned to the team around her, “Prepare for casualties, as soon as our engine is up and running we will land in the Hudson or as close as we can to help those in need.” 

She went back to the command center, listening to the agent's work as she set coordinates with agents Randall and Taylor. They had less than two minutes before detonation, she walked over to the monitors and watched as news stations zeroed in on the missile. The tapping noise was the only sound they could hear as everyone held their breath and waited for impact.

The Commander sat down at a random desk and pulled the video stream into full view, the whole team crowded around her to watch. A collective gasp was taken as Iron Man pushed the nuke from underneath and guided it to the portal. She knew that she should have been worried about Tony, but all she could do was stare at Natasha as she kept the portal open with Loki’s scepter. 

A blur of red rushed by Stark tower and everyone erupted into cheers as the missile disappeared into the inky void. She looked up to Fury who gave the seldom smile and then focused once more on the screen in front of her, waiting for Tony to re-emerge. The tapping noise started once more as the billionaire's body fell from the sky, only stopping once the Hulk grabbed him. 

For the first time in what felt like hours, Maria let out a breath and leaned back into her chair. Tony was alive, Natasha was alive, and her job was now to focus on clean up and-  shit, the tapping noise.   

She stood up and pushed her way out of the crowd, looking into her office. Sure enough, there was a tiny child knocking on the glass window as tears fell from her eyes. Maria rushed over to the door, unlocking it and taking in the view. There were packages of crumpled unopened snacks on the couch, a dead tablet, and headphones that had been placed back on her desk. The more she looked, the more her heart broke. 

“Ellie, I’m so sorry I-” she stopped talking as she looked at the girl, her braids frizzy, and her shorts damp.

“I tried, I did not mean to but I knock and you did not come,” tears continued to flow. 

“I know, I’m so sorry,” she crouched down, “did you have an accident?”

Now the girl sobbed, “I did not mean to.” 

“I know, I know, come here,” she opened her arms and the girl flinched violently, falling onto her back, “Ellie, you’re not in trouble.”

The girl continued to cry and tightly close her eyes, “I did not mean to,  I’m sorry, I don’t wanna get in trouble I followed all the rules and didn’t know what to do. ”

The commander got the general idea of what was being said in Russian, she looked down at her uniform. It was already covered in blood and dirt and would need to be washed, so she scooped up the child before she could teleport or flinch away. 

“Shhh it’s okay, honey,” Maria picked up the backpack and slung it over her shoulder, hoping that Phil had put extra clothes in it. Her heart hurt at the thought. She missed him so much already. 

Chapter Text

The girl sat awkwardly in her hold keeping her body rigid and as far away as Maria’s as possible. The bustle of the agents around didn't seem to help the situation as the Commander walked up to the Director.

“Hill,” he raised an eyebrow at the girl whose face flushed as she tried to cover her shorts.

“Sir, I know that we're all running on fumes right now. But there’s nothing I can’t do from my tablet right now,” she shifted the child in her arms, “Until our engine is back up and running in… Agent Taylor how long until engine 3 is running?”

“Crew will get here in an hour, a few hours after then at least, ma’am,” the agent responded. 

“Until the engine is back up in a few hours, I’m requesting to work from the medbay,” she looked into the eye of Fury, “after that we're going to land in the Hudson as planned and start clean up. I’m already working on plans for that with local and federal crews.”   

“You’re dismissed Hill,” he nodded, “make sure you get a change of clothes and some food for little miss.”

“Got it, sir.”

“And Hill,” he called out after her, “make good on your promise to your team, we lost some good ones today.”

She gave a curt nod and walked towards the stairwell, trying her best to keep the girl in her arms comfortable. 

They stopped by her bunk first, she needed to change and get Ellie out of her clothes.  

“We just need to stop by here really quickly,” she put the girl down, watching as she took in the room, searching for the exits with her eyes first just as Natasha did, “I need to grab some clothes for me and we can change you out of those bottoms too before we clean you up back in the medbay, okay?”

“Okay,” the girl had tear marks down her face but looked calmer now. 

Maria put the backpack down and riffled through the items, finding clean underwear and another pair of shorts. She closed her eyes and thanked Phil from wherever he was before handing them to the girl.

“Do you need help changing?” she wasn’t sure how comfortable the child would be with her help.

Ellie shook her head and walked into the bathroom, where she immediately pulled off the bottom half of her clothing. 

The Commander averted her eyes and walked over to her closet and grabbed another uniform before going to her dresser and pulling out a few more shirts and pants just in case. She added her own items to another bag and made sure that she would be set for a few days which included grabbing her charger for a phone she was pretty sure had been dead for a few hours. 

“Better?” she asked the child who emerged from the bathroom and nodded, “alright, back to your room.” 

She stuck her hand down to the child who grasped back, her tiny fingers wrapping around Maria’s palm tentatively. They exited the room and walked back to the stairwell where agents were still taking up a majority of the space, a few of them tripping as they saw “Hard-ass-Hill” with a child in tow. 

The medbay was quieter now than it had been when they had left hours earlier, Maria barely had to raise her voice as she talked to the agent at the nurse's station. 

“I do not want anyone in this room,” she narrowed her gaze, “the Director and I are the only ones in and out. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Tell all of the agents on this floor and the night shift.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She swiped her card and opened the door, leading the girl through first before she closed the door behind them and drew the curtains. The space was just as they had left it, bed sheets crumpled, the pen and notebook that May had dropped still in the middle of the floor. It seemed to take both of them a moment to take it all in before the girl turned to look at Maria. 

“Off?” she looked at her shoes.

“Yeah, we can take those off, you- well we both need a shower but you first,” the Commander watched as Ellie pulled the velcro off her shoes clumsily, sitting on the floor and using both hands to pull the adhesive. 

Maria hadn’t really thought about how young the girl was. In so many ways she carried herself as an adolescent, but in moments like this, or the reminder of the inability to open up the snacks in Maria’s office, it was clear she was still a child. She watched as the child lined up the shoes at the end of the bed with just the heels sticking out from under the space. 

“Let’s see what other clothes we can find you and get you in the shower,” the deputy director continued to force her feelings down as she looked through the bags that were mostly empty now. 

There was a noise from the other side of the room as Ellie got on her tiptoes and used her full body weight to open a top drawer. 

“Here,” she offered. 

The clothes had all been organized and put away in the drawers, “thank you.”

The girl nodded in a very serious way, as if they had just completed a business deal and that it didn't take all of her strength to open the drawer. Maria gave a small smile at the thought and pulled out a clean pair of what looked like a set of pajamas. 

“How do we feel about these?” she showed them to Ellie who nodded again, “Alright let's get you cleaned up.”

They entered the bathroom and suddenly Maria felt very very out of her element. Natasha had given the child the last shower and she wasn’t sure how that went. There were probably books, probably many books, on how to teach a kid boundaries and what to do in uncomfortable situations. But as Maria stalled, Ellie did not, she used both hands to try and push the water valve in the right direction.

“Here,” the Commander helped turn it on and set the temperature to what she thought was the right setting, “do you want me to help you with…”

She watched as the girl stripped out of her clothes and immediately went to get in the shower.

“Wait,” she put her arm out, “water needs to warm up.”

“Warm,” the girl nodded. 

“Not yet, but it will be in a second, let me take your braids out,” Maria moved towards the girl who eyed her suspiciously. 

The commander pulled the elastic out first and then began unweaving one side, watching as the girl did the other side herself. She thought about how the girl changed in her bunk without closing the door, and again took off her clothes without hesitation. Maria didn’t know what to make of it and made a mental note to ask Natasha. There were a lot of things she wanted to ask the woman. 

“Warm?” the girl looked at the shower again, her dark hair was wild from having it in braids, the waves sticking out in different directions. 

Maria stuck her hand in the water and deemed it warm enough, “go for it.”

The child stared at her and tilted her head to the side. 

“It’s warm, you can get in,” the deputy director tried to be more direct in her verbiage. 

Ellie got in, face first, and stood under the water as it fell around her, swallowing the water as it fell into her mouth.  Kids are gross . The blue-eyed woman sat on the countertop and averted her eyes as the girl clumsily used a bar of soap and washcloth to try and bathe herself. After a minute of this, the girl started to hum as she continued to shower.  Kids are cute . 

“What song is that?” Maria gave a small smile as she watched the girl shrug from behind the half-closed curtain. 

She sat on the counter for a little longer until there was a loud clatter as the shampoo bottle tumbled to the ground, spilling its contents down the drain. Ellie shoved herself into the corner and closed her eyes tightly. Before Maria could do anything, a portal opened up and the girl was gone. 

“Shit,” she sighed and sat the bottle upright.

The door to the bathroom hadn’t been closed so the brunette could see through to the room and under the table where Ellie had balled herself up, dripping wet. 

“Just an accident,” Maria walked over to the girl who started to shiver, “come on little bear, we need to finish up.” 

The girl looked at her as if she was weighing her options. There were a few more moments of hesitation before she shivered once more and got up and opened the shower curtain again. She looked at the adult next to her nervously as she picked up the bottle, almost dropping it again.

She turned the bottle upside down and stuck her fingers covered in soap into her hair. Maria observed the movements for a minute, they were jerky and looked painful as the girl's hands knotted further into her hair. 

“Do you need help?” She stood up and walked over to the child who was still trying to detangle her fingers, “I can help you just have to let me.”

“Help… hair?”

“I can help you with your hair,” Maria squeezed some of the liquid into her hands, breathing in the sweet apple scent that it gave off. 

She had helped younger cousins wash their hair before and was used to them wiggling around while she tried to lather. Ellie however, stood still, tilting her head back and squinting her eyes to keep the soap from getting in them. 

Maria told the girl to turn off the water while she got a towel and she watched as the child once again used two hands to try and turn off the valve. The room was suddenly so quiet as the water turned off and she wanted nothing more than to get out of her uniform and turn the water back on.

“Here,” Maria gave her the towel that she awkwardly tried to wrap around her body, leaving most of it in a puddle in the shower. The Commander had no idea what she was doing with a child and hoped that May would come back soon. 

She watched as the girl brushed through her damp curls, apparently, this was a skill she was able to do with the most accuracy. The girl then got changed into the purple pajama set and stared at Maria. 

“What’s up?” she looked down at the child, “what do you need?” 

The child stuck her arm out with the brush, “braid or do not know braid?”

“I’m not as good as Tasha,” the brunette looked at the girl, “but I’ll try my best.”

And she did try her best, but in the end, the braids were uneven and a little lumpy in some spots. But it was the best she could do with what she was working with and the girl looked tired and not concerned about her hair anyway. It was getting late and harder to push her feelings down as she looked at Ellie.

“Okay, here's the plan,” she spoke, watching as the girl’s eyes landed on her, listening to every word, “I’m going to give you this,”

She pulled out the charger and Phil's tablet, waiting for it to charge for a moment before opening up the video the girl had been watching. 

“And these,” she opened up a container of crackers and a water bottle, “and you hang out here while I shower. I’ll be right back and if you need anything you knock. I promise I’ll open the door.”

The girl’s eyes looked heavy as she nodded “okay.”

Maria grabbed her own change of clothes and walked into the bathroom. She cranked the shower to a much higher setting for herself and waited for the room to steam up before she got in. The water had barely hit her skin before the tears started rolling down her face. 

Phil’s gone, you’re still here . 

It was the mantra that continued playing in her head as she showered, watching the water wash away the dirt and grime away. She did her best to keep her sobs to a minimum so that the girl in the conjoined room didn’t hear what was going on. The water continued to hit her skin, stinging the wounds she had sustained that day, something she sucked down and just repeated the phrase again and again.  Phil’s gone, you’re still here .

When she finally finished showering she found it difficult to open the door to the small room very far. The brunette squeezed her body through the opening and braced for whatever was on the other side. 

What she found was a sleeping child curled up on the floor right behind the door. The Commander looked at the bed, the snacks had been eaten, the water drank, and the video continued to play on the tablet. But in front of the door, the girl was fast asleep as if she didn’t want to miss Maria when she got out of the shower. 

The blue-eyed woman did her best to pick up the girl without waking her, but she was not just a girl, she was a widow in training. As soon as her hands were under Ellie’s body, she woke up and immediately started kicking and scratching. 

“Hey hey, it’s just me, just Maria” Maria yelled out, “ safe, safe, me .”  

Russian seemed to sink into the girl’s brain faster as she calmed her movements. 

“I am sorry,” she looked up at Maria before hanging her head. 

“That’s alright, let’s just get you to bed,” she thought for a moment about asking her to brush her teeth, but that was a fight for another day. She was positive the child had gone without brushing her teeth before. 

Ellie got up and walked over to her bed where she grabbed the sheets and tightly cocooned herself into the fabric, watching as the Commander sat down in the recliner next to the bed. 

“I’ll be right here if you need me,” she smiled and watched as the girl blinked a few times before looking at the door. 

“Phil?” she looked back to Maria who bit the inside of her lip to try and keep from crying. 

“Phil’s not um…” she closed her eyes tightly, “Phil’s not going to be around anymore.”

“Around?” the girl’s voice was so little. 

“He isn’t going to come by anymore… he um… he’s…” she opened her eyes and blew out a long breath, “He’s dead, Ellie.”

She balled her fists up and tried to slow her breathing. It didn’t work and new tears fell from her eyes. 

“Gone.” The voice was so small she almost missed it. 

“Yeah, yeah Phil’s gone little one.”

The girl pulled the blankets impossibly tight until her eyes were the only things visible, “Mel?”

“Mel isn’t gone,” the Commander had no idea where the woman was, but she knew she wasn’t dead, “but I don’t know when she will be back.” 

The Deputy director hoped soon, as much as she liked the girl, she was way out of her element. She didn’t know anything about raising a kid, let alone a super spy in training with teleportation abilities. There may have been a lot of parenting books out there but she knew that there wasn’t one that specified that. 

It seemed like a good enough answer for the child who continued to watch Maria until sleep was too much to fight off. Once she was sure the girl was asleep the brunette got up and turned off the video that played on the tablet. Looking at the frozen image of a cartoon astronaut she waited to see if the child would wake up, she did not.

A few hours later she got the notification that they were back on course to New York and would be there by the middle of the night, the movement of the carrier eased her anxiety. She looked at the clock and figured she now had 4 hours to get everything in motion for the clean-up crew.  

The Red Cross was already on site and she coordinated efforts with their team to make sure they would be as useful as possible. She went to text Tony to see what the damage to his building was looking like before she remembered her phone was dead. 

Her phone flooded with notifications as it powered back up, she had just started looking through them before the arguing started. 

It started quietly and she figured it was an agent getting in trouble at first. But the noise continued to grow outside of the door and she got up, ready to lay into whoever was on the other side. 

“I don’t care that no one is allowed in, I am,” the voice was familiar as Maria swiped the door open. 

“The Deputy Director-” the nurse was cut off as Melinda spun around, face red in anger as she stumbled slightly towards Maria. 

“Mel…” Maria watched as the woman’s shoulder shook. 

She opened up the door and let her friend into the room. 

“You didn’t answer your phone and they said I couldn’t come to see her and I just-” the agent was clearly trying to keep from bursting into tears. 

“I’m so sorry Mel,” the brunette wrapped her arms around the woman in front of her, finding comfort in their embrace. 

They eventually crammed themselves together in the recliner, neither of them letting go of the other. Both women were known to be cold, to be standoffish, to worm their way out of hugs, but that wasn’t the truth. The truth was, they were selective with who they allowed to see this side of them, and they both lost one of the only people who they let in less than 12 hours prior. 

“Like Minsk,” Melinda spoke first as she twisted her body to be face to face with the Commander, her breath somewhat fruity.  

She was referring to a mission they had gone on in Belarus together when they first started. The two of them had been partners for years before Maria started taking on more handler responsibilities, but before that, they had been in Minsk after a long mission. 

On their side, the mission had been a success, on Beta team, not so much. And so the two women found themselves intoxicated, waiting for transport in an airport lounge for 12 hours. There was only one comfy chair and so they had squished themselves into it and waited it out. 

“But with less booze,” Maria gave a half smile.

“Speak for yourself,” and for the first time, the Commander really looked at the woman next to her, smelling the alcohol on her breath.

“I’m sorry May,” she felt the familiar weight of the woman's head on her shoulder. 

“Me too, I shouldn’t have left like that,” she breathed out, “but I just… I can’t do it, Ria.”

The raven-haired woman began to cry hard and Maria waited for it to ease up again before she spoke.

“You don’t have to do it alone, I’m right here and I’ll be right here through it all.”

“I can’t- it was Phil who was going to take the lead until I work through Bahrain more and it’s just not fair to her,” she took a shuddered breath, “I mean look at me, Hill.”

Maria looked as her friend continued to cry, dark circles under her eyes, hair no longer perfectly in place as it normally was. 

“I panicked and I started drinking and I have to bury my husband who- FUCK,” the agent yelled, waking the child up, “shit… I’m sorry… I’m sorry I just can’t- I can’t do this.” 

“Mel breathe,” Maria put her hand on the woman's back and smiled at the child who continued to watch it all unfold. 

The raven-haired woman gulped down breaths as she leaned forward, “I can’t do this Maria, I’m sorry.”

The Commander was the first one to stand, “we’ll be right outside the door okay?” she looked at the girl who just stared back. 

The two of them walked out of the room and into the nearly silent medbay, “look at me right now and tell me what you need.”

“I need time,” May wiped the tears off her face, “and I need you to know that I don’t know if I will ever be okay enough to be her guardian.”

“Melinda, you understand that she’s going to be put into the foster system if you don’t finish signing those documents,” Maria tried to convey the seriousness of the situation, “If you don’t sign them, you may never see her again.”

“I know…” her response was quiet, “she deserves better than me, she deserves someone who will help her, someone who won't run to alcohol as soon as things get rough. She deserves Phil.”

The flood gates opened once more and Maria supported her friend as she cried on her shoulder.

“Okay,” the brunette nodded. 

“I already put in for bereavement leave,” the woman stood up and wiped her face again, “when I’m back in DC I’ll let you know.”

“Where are you going to go?” Maria looked at her friend.

“I don’t know, somewhere to find peace.”

“Call me if you need me, okay?” 

“Okay, bye Ria,” the agent hugged the Commander, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Mel."

She stood there and watched as her friend walked away and silently hoped that she would find the peace that she was looking for.    

Her fingers were cramping by the time they arrived in New York, no matter how many times she flexed them, they continued to seize every time she typed. It was just after 1am when she got the familiar feeling of descending in her stomach as the carrier made its way into the water. 

She had watched from the window of the medbay as the dark water came into view, and then engulfed the bottom half of the ship, rocking the entire vessel slightly as it did so. The child on the bed continued to sleep through the event and Maria couldn't help but frown, knowing this would be one of the last times she would see the sight.

With Mel out of the picture, the girl would be moved into a holding cell where SHIELD could test her abilities. She hoped that it wouldn’t take too long and that the child would then be adopted by a family that treated her well. There was a part of her that really hoped for this, but the reality was she would probably be kept for testing for too long without a guardian there, and then be put into foster care where she would be labeled as a “troubled” kid. 

There had been a few months of Maria’s life that she spent in the system while her dad continued to drink and before her Abuela could get custody of her. Being a “troubled” child meant that she was the last one to get the pick of anything because she “wouldn’t be appreciative of it anyway”, or at least that’s what she came to find out.

Now, looking at the girl curled up on the bed, she hoped that Ellie wouldn’t face the same experiences that she had. Her tablet dinged and let her know that they had landed and would expect to start the deboarding process at 6 am. While it was normally something that brought her joy, this time she knew that it meant that she would need to start moving the girl to her new setting. The Commander would become just a small part of the girl's life, one that she would probably forget within the next year. She went from watching her best friends become parents, to burying one of them and watching the child leave her life for good. In a way, she lost them all in a matter of a day.    

Nat: 1 video msg.

Maria leaned against the glass and clicked on the attachment, making sure the volume was low. 

“Hey Ria,” the redhead still looked pretty beat up from the battle that happened in the city, “pretty sure I just saw you guys land, hope everything is going okay… or at least that you’re still pushing through.”

The two had checked in with each other earlier in the day, making sure that they were both alive and in one piece. 

“We had Shawarma last night, that was pretty good,” the woman was walking around whatever safe house they were stashed in, “To keep you in the loop from a close source, Thor’s taking Loki back to Asgard in the morning, Tony and Bruce are going to hang out in the city and try and rebuild the tower I guess.”

Maria watched as the Russian's face was covered by shadows for a second before she emerged again, “Steve’s back to DC, Clint’s on the first flight back to Iowa… everyone's going their own ways I guess.”

There was a pause, too long of a pause and then Natasha gave a small smile, “it was good while it lasted I guess. Anyway, hope you guys are okay, tell May and Elizaveta I said hi. Okaybye.”

The brunette double-checked the girl was still sleeping before she walked into the bathroom and, without a second thought, hit the call button on her phone. The line trilled, she held her breath, she never called Natasha and on the off chance she did, the woman never answered. Still, she waited and hoped. 

“Hey,” Natasha’s voice was uncertain, “you okay?”

“I um…” she suddenly was at a loss for words.  Come on, Maria. You were the one who called her .  

“Ria?” 

“Sorry, yeah no I’m okay,” she lied, “you didn’t say where you were going to be.”

“Where I was going to be?” Natasha questioned back.

“Your message, you told me where everyone was going to be but you. You didn’t say where you were going to be,” when she said it that way, the Commander felt like a teenager again.

“Oh,” the Russian paused, “I guess that’s because I don’t know where I’m going to be.”

“Are you going to take another leave? Because Mel just said she is and with Barton on the farm and Phil gone I just… I just wasn’t sure if I should start eating in my office again,” she cringed at the words she said even though they were true.

“If I do, it won't be for too long so don't lose our table in the caf okay?” The woman tried to make it sound less sad than it was.

“Okay, yeah.”

“May going to get the kid set up for a while?”

“No um…” the brunette bit the inside of her lip, “no May isn’t going to take Ellie anymore, with Phil and everything she’s going on bereavement leave.”

“Oh shit, what happens to Elizaveta?” The question came out quickly, leaving no room for the Commander to come up with anything other than the truth.

“She’s going to foster care after SHIELD tests her,” she kept her voice low even though the door between the room was closed. 

“Ria you can’t let that happen,” Natasha protested.

“I can’t do anything else, there’s not another option,” she argued back.

“Yes, there is.”

“No, there’s not Tasha,” she leaned her head back against the wall next to the door. 

“Someone could take her, maybe Clint or… I don't know… maybe Stark has someone that could watch her,” the redhead continued to talk, getting more animated as she did “or you, you could take her.”

“I can’t, I don’t know anything about kids,” that was becoming more clear, the longer she spent with the girl, “she has to go into the system.”

“You’re just sending her back to the streets then!” 

“I’m not, I’m just following procedures,” she tried to reason.

“You are and you know it, Hill. She’s going to last all of a few days in foster care before she leaves and then she’s right back on the street but this time she doesn’t have a teenager to look out for her. She’s a child, she doesn’t speak the language well, she won't last out there!”

“Or she’ll be adopted by a great family,” the Commander spoke out loud the hope that she wished for.

“And what? They find out she can kill them with a butterknife and return her. Or she gets spooked and teleports away? Or she tries to hurt the other kids they have? Because that’s how she was raised Ria, that’s all she knows!” Natasha was yelling now.

She listened as the woman made great point after great point, getting even more worked up after each one. There wasn’t space for Maria to argue and she tried to figure out what else the woman was worried about for her to project like this. Maria could count on one hand the number of times she heard Natasha yell like this. 

“You can’t just leave her, Masha… you can’t just leave her. You were supposed to protect her.”

And there it was .  

“I know,” she spoke quietly, knowing that this was about Yelena more than anything else, “I am. Just not in the way that you want me to.” 

“I’ll be at the farm if you need me,” the call disconnected before Maria could get another word in. 

At least she knew where the woman would be. 

She opened the door and took a seat in the recliner for the last time. The child hadn’t moved from her blanket cocoon, her chest rising and falling in a slow pattern. The next morning would be hard and so Maria did her best to sleep, hoping she would wake up and her friend wouldn’t be dead and that this was all a bad dream. 

Of course, it wasn’t a bad dream, it was real life. That was apparent as her alarm went off at 6am the next morning, waking both of the occupants of the room. 

“Sorry,” she sat up and looked at the girl who squinted her eyes and stared at Maria, “not a morning person?”

The girl continued to squint in her direction, “you can go back to sleep if you want.”

They wouldn't deboard for a few more hours, and the less time she had to spend bonding with the child was probably for the best. The blue-eyed woman watched as the child pushed herself further into her blankets and stared for a little longer. 

Maria took it as a good sign and went to change into her uniform and get ready in the bathroom. She had a lot of work to do, the sooner she started, the sooner it would be over. Or at least that’s what she told herself as she finished getting ready and started walking the crew through how to get agents to their assigned stations on the mainland. 

It wasn’t a difficult process and she was done after a few hours, her hands only cramping slightly. She looked at the girl who had been in and out of sleep since the first alarm, it seemed she was in fact trying to get as much sleep in as possible. Maria figured it was a mixture of sleep debt, and not knowing when the next time she would be able to sleep was. 

The room had a lot of the girl's new things in it still as the brunette looked around. She walked around the space and tried to put everything into the bags they came in, at least she would have new items wherever she ended up. 

There were 4 full bags by the time Maria finished gathering everything, every item had been carefully selected by Phil and so she did her best to not miss anything. 

“Knock knock,” the female physician, Dr. Carter announced as she walked into the room, “I wanted to come and talk to you before I deboarded to help in the city.”

“Yeah of course,” Maria kept her voice low, trying to keep from waking the girl.

“I heard about Agent Coulson, my condolences,” she gave a sad smile.

“Thank you,” the Commander pushed down her feelings.

“I also heard about Agent May,” the physician smiled sheepishly, “nurses gossip. I just wanted to know who I should give her medical records to?”

“I can take them,” the Deputy Director took the file.

“Oh, you’re taking her? Thank goodness, I was scared she would be shipped off to some testing site or something. You seem to already have her trust so that makes the most sense, good good,” the woman talked and Maria didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth, “So the first page is a list of notes and what should happen next with her medication. Any physician will be able to help you out, but if she’s staying with you then I can keep treating her.”

“Thank you, Dr. Carter.”

“Of course, her prescription is filled and that will last her about 2 months, after that we're going to do some blood work and refill it,” the woman smiled wide, “you’ll be seeing a lot of me if you keep me on her team.”

Her team . Maria’s heart broke, there was no way foster care would pay for the medication and regular visits that the girl needed. She pushed the thought aside, the state would do what’s best for the child.  If she stays in the system and doesn’t run .     

“What happens if she misses a dose?”

“Hmm, well it wouldn’t be the end of the world,” the woman paused to think, “but say she missed two or more? She would stop her weight retention. So, try your very best to make sure she takes it. If she missed a week we would see some major effects on her body, organs would start to malfunction and she would be in a lot of pain, or worse.”

“Got it,” the Commander made a note to tell foster care about that.  

“As I said, two months and we’ll check her levels to make sure that the dosage is right. The more she uses her powers, the more she needs to eat or the more medication she needs to take. It’s going to be a guessing game until we get it down after you establish a routine.”

Maria nodded.

“It’s not often we get to see a cutie like her,” the physician laughed, “makes my day to help her out. Unless there’s anything else you need I should get going.”

“No, this is great,” the brunette held up the file, “thank you.” 

“Have a good day Commander,” the woman looked past Maria and waved, “bye Elizaveta.”

The deputy director turned around and watched as the girl wiggled her fingers back slightly as the doctor left the room. Immediately the child eyed the bags on the table, looking back at Maria after.

“We're going to get off the ship today,” she said, leaving out that the girl would be taken by different people after.   

There wasn’t time for a further discussion before Maria’s phone rang, “Hi sir.”

“Hill,” his voice was gruff, he was in a mood, “I’m about to get on a call with these dumbass council members. Come meet me and we can talk about it before you deboard.

“Got it, sir,” she waited for the line to disconnect before looking at the girl, “okay, we gotta get ready.”

On cue, the child’s stomach growled, “and get you food and meds.”

Twenty minutes later she had a fully dressed child in front of her, full of oatmeal. Maria looked at the liquid in the medicine bottle, it was chalky and pink and unappealing in every way. 

“It says here,” she pointed to the medical file, “you get 25ml in the morning and 25 at night. Sound right?”

The girl shook her head.

“No it doesn't sound right, or no you don't want it?” she had a feeling it was the latter, the question was more of a formality. The instructions were in black and white on the paper in front of her. 

“Do not like,” the girl said, making a face.

“Right, but it keeps you from being sick.”

“Do not like,” she shook her head again. 

“You could use the juice as a chaser?” Maria eyed the open drink.

The child stared at her and cocked her head to the side, something Maria was learning meant that the girl didn’t follow. 

“Drink it really fast after, so you don't have to taste the medicine.”  

It seemed to be a good enough compromise as the girl downed the medicine and juice. The brunette smiled and stood up.

“Okay, we have to go to the bridge then we're going to get on a plane and go somewhere new,” Maria tried to make it sound fun. 

“New?” the girl questioned.

“Washington DC, it’s where I live and work, there’s a lot more stuff that you’ll like there.”

The Triskelion had an entire floor dedicated to childcare, it was something the Commander had helped plan after several agents requested time off due to a lack of daycares in the summer. They had created the space to be used not only during the summer but year-round for children from 6 months to 13 years. It took up the second floor of the miniature city that was the Triskelion, Maria figured this would be the right place to take the child. 

She helped the girl get her shoes on and watched as she walked over to the bags of things that had been purchased for her. 

“We can leave those here, I’ll let the team know and they’ll make sure they get to DC,” Maria explained to the girl who didn’t look convinced, “we won't leave your things. I promise.”

The Commander walked over to the backpack, “this, however, is coming with us.”

Ellie nodded in relief as she pulled the straps on her back and looked up at the woman in front of her, “tablet and snacks, Ria?”

Maria smiled at the nickname, the little girl pronounced it like Natasha did. 

“Already in there, little bear,” she paused at the name, she couldn’t use it anymore. She couldn’t let the girl get any more attached, she couldn’t get any more attached. 

Maria swiped her card and unlocked the room to the medbay one last time. She looked down to the girl who had stuck her hand up and was waiting for the Commander to hold it and guide her out of the room. 

She encased the child's hand and made her way towards the bridge, hoping that whatever news Fury received from the council wasn’t earth-shattering. Their flight to DC was leaving in less than an hour, and she didn't want to spend any longer on the ship than necessary. 

“Hill,” Fury looked at his right-hand person before glancing down to the child, “little miss,” he greeted her much more quietly. 

“Sir,” Maria answered for the both of them. 

“The council isn’t too thrilled about the initiative and my direct involvement with the actions that went against their orders,” he rolled his one eye, “but I reminded them that if it wasn’t for our team, there wouldn't be a city of Manhattan right now.”  

“And that worked?”

“As much as I hoped, they made the wrong call and don’t want to admit that.”

They stood there and soaked in the reality that was the last 48 hours, the Commander broke the silence first.

“Sir, what now?” she thought about the phone call to Natasha, “they all went their separate ways.

“They’ll be back when we need them.” His answer was clear that he didn’t believe anything else. 

Chapter Text

The flight back to DC wasn’t very long, but the girl shifted in her seat the whole time, glancing around as if someone was going to jump out at her. Maria tried to give the child the tablet with cartoons on it but it played in her lap as she continued tightening her grip on the seatbelt.  

The older woman used the time on the flight to send off a quick email to the Children’s Center, explaining the situation briefly. She received an email back within a few minutes letting her know that they would need her to fill out the information once she got there, but she hadn’t been the first agent to go on a mission and come back with a child. It both relieved her and saddened her to know that. She looked down and saw that Ellie still had the belt clutched in her hands.    

“Do you get nervous on airplanes?” The Commander looked up from her work and asked the girl who stared at her, “up high, scared?”

“Not scared,” the girl furrowed her brow tightly, “do not get scared. You fear, you die. I am strong. I do not fear.”

Maria nodded and listened to the girl rattle off the mantra in both English and then Russian. She thought about how the last time she was on a plane with her, she had been unconscious. There was a twist in her stomach at the thought of why the girl was so nervous as she sat next to her. 

“It’s okay to be scared,” the older woman started as they hit a small amount of turbulence, causing the child to tighten her grip on the seat belt even more, “I get scared too sometimes, so does Natasha, and May, even Fury and… and Phil.”

She let out a breath, Phil would be handling this much better than her. 

The thought sat in her chest like a rock even after she tried, repeatedly, to push it away. She sat there and read the first four lines of a report 12 times before they started their descent into the landing strip next to the Triskelion. The feeling was still heavy in her chest as she unfastened her seatbelt and helped the child next to her. 

Ellie seemed to be a little less nervous now that they were planted back on the ground, her hands were clasped in her lap rather than on the seatbelt as they waited to deboard. Another step toward the building would hold the start of the girl's new life. The commander kept her face neutral as she thought about it, another thought for her to push down.     

“The extra bags, Commander Hill?” An agent seemed to be repeating to her. 

“Everything in my office,” she stood up and motioned for the child to follow her out of the aircraft. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

She could bring them back to the children's center after she got everything with Ellie situated, there was no reason to bring alarm to the girl now. It was going to be hard enough once she got there, she didn’t want to start that painful process now. 

The two of them walked onto the tarmac which was bright and windy in the late spring sun. She glanced down at the girl who kept one hand on the strap of her backpack and the other one over her face to try and shield some of the sun's rays. In the direct sunlight, Maria noticed more of the features of the child. 

Her hair was a deep chestnut color, her skin had an olive tone to it but was riddled with small white scars-  Busted.

Ellie turned and stared at Maria as she watched her, the girl's face scrunching up as she continued to squint against the sunlight. The Commander just nodded for her to keep walking towards the massive building.

The closer they got, the slower the child walked. If it was from nerves about a new location or a sneaking suspicion of what was going to happen once they got there, Maria didn't know. She did, however, know that they were now walking slow enough to have been some of the last people still on the landing strip despite being one of the first groups off the plane. 

“Just a little further and then we can have a snack and a break,” she tried to coax the child into the building that they were close to approaching. 

Ellie didn’t seem to pick up the pace anymore but she did continue to walk towards the doors that Maria swiped her card to open. It was a weekend and so the building wasn’t as loud as it normally was, something the brunette was grateful for as she walked down the familiar hallway that connected to a set of elevators. 

“This is the side of the building, it’s not as pretty as the front but it’s the fastest point to the tarmac,” she wasn’t sure why she was telling the girl this, the information wouldn’t be useful. But still, she wanted her to have it, just in case she needed to use it one day, “the main building is right there, the big circle-looking one. That’s where my office is, and Fury’s,”

The girl continued to walk next to Maria and look out of the building, only tilting her head at the last sentence. 

“Fury is the man you met with one eye,” the commander covered her left eye with her hand which led to Ellie nodding, “40th floor on the side that overlooks the water and the security gate. It’s a pretty nice view, Phil thinks his is better but…” the sadness crept back into her chest, “but I guess they are both nice. Do you want to press the button?”

They had gotten to the elevators and she had hesitated to press it, giving the girl the opportunity. One that she took, hitting the up button with more force than what was needed but giving a small smile as it illuminated. 

Maria watched as the far left elevator dropped in the sequential pattern before getting to their floor and dinging softly. She approached the elevator first and walked in, holding the door open for the girl to join her. 

“Floor two, please,” the Commander nodded at the array of buttons on the wall.   

After a few moments of studying, the girl clicked the one labeled “2” and turned to see if it was correct. Maria nodded and watched as the child placed her hands on her backpack straps before returning to her side. 

They rode the short trip in silence, exiting as the doors opened onto the second floor. The space was vibrant and smelled like crayons and disinfectant. At first, it had only been a small section of the second floor, but after more and more children were dropped off and picked up from the location, it had been expanded. 

The children's center took up 80% of the second floor and had everything from classrooms, to play areas and sleeping rooms for children who had parents that worked the night shift, or missions that took longer than expected. The brunette hadn’t been in over a year but knew where the front desk was located and started walking in the general direction. 

She had made it a few steps before realizing that she no longer had a child next to her. Ellie was still taking it all in, her green eyes wide, her mouth shaped in an o. 

“It’s a lot, huh?” Maria looked down and extended her hand which was taken immediately, “we can take it slow.”

They kept walking at a slower pace, the Commander started explaining what she could, noticing that much like the medical environment, the girl was more comfortable when she was being talked to about what was happening. 

“This part is mostly for the older kids, it’s in the back and closer to the elevators they can use. I think that is a classroom for them to do their work, this is just a social area, and that over there is their snack area,” she continued to guide them towards the front, “this is for the really little kids, I think infants to 3 years old.”

“Babies. Not me,” the little girl spoke for the first time. 

“Right, you’re older than that so you would beeeee,” she elongated the word until they were in the 5-8-year-old section, “right over here.” 

Ellie looked around, stopping completely. 

“That’s the work area for the kids who go to school before this, and that area with the big curtains in the window is the sleeping area, that is the play area, and the snack area is right behind that little wall,” Maria continued to point, bending over so she could see what the child was viewing from her vantage point, “it's connected to the 9-12-year-old section but I don’t know too much about it. That’s a newer section.”

They kept walking, the few children that were at the center on the weekend played quietly, mostly with each other as workers facilitated. Ellie kept a nervous eye on all of the children that she came across, looking at them intensely if they had their back to her. Maria noticed the behavior and guided them through the few steps still needed to get to the front of the building and the center.

“Commander,” a young woman, presumably the one who responded to her email, greeted her, “and you must be Elizaveta.”

The girl cowered behind Maria’s leg, trailing her finger down the seam on the side of her pants and staring at the floor. 

“My name is Grace, I get to work here at the Children's Center, that’s pretty cool don’t you think?” The blonde tried her best to engage the girl who continued to not make eye contact.

“She gets a little shy around new people,” Maria instinctively went to place her hand on the girl's head before hesitating balling it up instead. 

“That’s okay, how about if I give you this sticker and you hang out at that table right there while Commander Hill and I talk for a little?” the woman pulled a sticker out from her apron and handed it to Ellie before motioning over to a nearby table. 

“I’ll get your snacks out and your tablet,” Maria walked over to the table and helped the girl out of her backpack, “here you go, if you need something we're just right there okay?”

The girl stared at her and sat down at the table, pulling the juice box closer to her. Maria stood back up and made sure she was settled before returning to the front desk. 

“She’s very cute,” the blonde stared for a moment longer.

“She is,” the Commander nodded and stared as well.  

“You said she's Russian, does she speak English or did I just make a total fool out of myself?” The younger woman blushed slightly. 

“She is but she speaks English, a little broken, but she understands what’s being said to her even if she doesn’t respond.”

“I read over the email a few times but I think there are things that we need to discuss before we assign her an official case number,” Grace gave a small, albeit sad, smile, “Let's go over history first, then medical, then anything else we should know, after that you’ll fill out this form and sign the bottom and that’s it.”

It sounded simple in theory, but in practice, it took over an hour to explain her medical history, her teleporting, and her history from the Russian police report. By the end not only was Maria physically exhausted but emotionally as well. She hadn’t realized how much she knew about the girl she had only met a few days prior. But there she was, explaining it all, describing the food she liked to eat, the two-month follow-up that needed to be scheduled, how she may not do well with other children who she sees as a threat, and how she liked space. It all just came tumbling out. 

“Thank you, most agents just give us a name and drop the kid,” the blonde shook her head, “this will be great as we get her into the system.”

Maria’s stomach coiled and her mouth went dry, “Glad I could help.”

“This all looks right, so just go ahead and sign at the line and you’re free to go, Commander Hill,” the woman handed Maria back the form. 

“Can I- is it okay if I just talk to her before I head out?” She looked over to the girl who was still sitting at the table, empty juice box in hand. 

“Of course,” Grace stood back up and walked behind the desk. 

The Commander sat down in one of the comically small chairs to have a conversation that was far from funny. 

“Hey kid,” she watched as the girl closed the tablet and stared at her. 

“Hi, go now?” her voice was little and timid still. 

“Yes but- It’s about that,” she swallowed and looked at a spot above the girl's head, unable to make eye contact.  Do it Hill, come on, put the ice wall up, and get it over with.  

“Leave?” the girl asked.

“I’m going to leave but you’ll stay here with Grace,” she breathed out and tried to keep her emotions locked away. 

“Then later come?” Ellie reached out and trailed her finger down the seam of Maria’s uniform once again. 

“You’re going to stay here and a new family is going to come and pick you up, one that will love you and care for you and they will be so much fun,” the brunette looked down at the child finally.

The girl had furrowed her brow and tilted her head to the side.

“You might have to spend a little time with some other kids but a family will come one day and you’ll be so happy with them, I know it.”

“Want to stay,” the little girl’s eyes started to shimmer with unshed tears. 

“You’ll stay here for a little while,” Maria tried to reassure her. 

“Want to stay you,” her voice broke.

“No, no I’m not any fun. I wouldn’t be a good family for you, there are much better ones out there,” the brunette had to force her own feelings away.

“Want you,” the girl started to cry fully now. 

“I know but you’ll see, someone will come that’s much better than me,” she tried to not feel how the girl gripped her uniform. 

“Do not go, want you,” she sobbed, Grace started to walk over. 

“How about we play a game, wouldn't that be fun?” the blonde asked the girl who just cried harder and clutched the fabric more frantically. 

Maria stood and pried the little fingers off of her, tears fell from her own eyes as she did it, “it’s going to be okay Ellie, it’s going to be okay.”

The girl cried in broken gasps as Maria walked towards the doors, opening them she heard one final plea from the child in the form of her name. 

“Ria!” the girl’s voice broke through as the doors closed behind her. 

The Commander walked down the hall as quickly as she could, pressing the button for the elevator repeatedly as she felt the pain of what just happened hit her like a tidal wave. 

What the fuck are you doing Hill?

No, you don’t know anything about raising a child.

But you could learn.

Learn to be terrible like your father?

Or great like Abuela?

She heard the elevator ding as she turned the other way. Sprinting back through the doors to a sight far from what she expected. 

Grace’s eyes were wide as she watched the scene unfold while on the phone. 

Ellie's body fell through portal after portal, unconscious as her limbs got closer and closer to the edge. Already unconscious, she was gaining speed at an alarming rate. 

Just as she did the first time, Maria acted first and thought second, throwing herself through the side of the portal, grasping the girl on the other side. The sheer speed at which the girl had been traveling was enough to leave Maria with a busted lip and bruised jaw from where a rouge limb had hit her.  Serves her right for trying to leave the girl . 

“Yes, the second floor,” the blonde was still talking into the phone as she approached Maria, “are you okay? What can I do?”

“Throw away the paperwork,” Maria breathed out. 

Face claim for Elizaveta: Ava Caryofyllis 

somewhat simple way of explaining the portal system (that will be further explained later): Under high stress/emotional times, two portals open (one under, one over her)  she falls through space faster and faster due to the downward trajectory and lack of gravity/friction until she is pushed out. Please enjoy my artistic representation of this brought to you by screenshots and terrible editing

Click here for a visual of the Portal System 

Chapter Text

She cradled the girl's head against her chest as the medical team came in, pulling out monitoring devices and attaching them to the child.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do,” Grace continued to hold a paper towel against Maria’s bleeding lip.

“You did the right thing, no need for apologies,” the brunette continued to watch as the med team took diagnostics.

“Are you mom?” one of the members asked before looking up to see Maria’s face “Oh- sorry Commander Hill I didn’t- with the towel and the kid I didn’t know that… is she-”

“She is in my care right now,” she cut him off before the man in front of her could ramble any longer. 

The child started to open her eyes and immediately thrashed around not only out of the hold Maria had on her, but to get away from the medical team as well. Her body was clearly weaker than it had been in the moments before the teleportation episode, the older woman just held her arms tighter. 

“Go, want go,” Elizaveta grunted through gritted teeth.

“Just hang on for a second,” at the sound of Maria’s voice, the child stilled and craned her neck up, “we’re good here.”

“With all due respect ma’am-” the same agent reached for the child again.

“I said, we’re good here.”

The man looked at the Commander, then to the rest of his team before giving a small nod, “You know where to find us, have a good day, ma’am.”

They picked up the last of the monitoring devices that the girl had thrashed off and left down the same hallway that Maria had come through minutes before. As soon as they were gone, the older woman released the child from her arms. Immediately the girl tried to run, but the loss of energy from the ordeal caused her legs to crumple under her. 

She ended up as a heap on the ground, one that curled into a tight ball as Maria approached her.

“We’re going to get out of here, just you and me okay?” she spoke softly as the girl raised her head.

“Leave?” Elizaveta’s voice was uncertain as she asked.

“Leave, together.”

The blue-eyed woman crouched down and scooped up the child in one motion, settling her against her side as she walked back to the front desk. Grace had a stack of papers in front of her, the ones on top were what they had just filled out together. 

“What now?” 

“Well, the good news is, a lot of these forms overlap,” the blonde gave a smile even as she shrugged, “the bad news is, these are going to have to be filled out as well to grant you emergency foster custody.”

She held up the bottom half of the stack and Maria internally groaned, her Saturday was going to be filled with more paperwork, which… really wasn’t that unusual. 

“Because she’s so young, you’re going to have to watch trainings and complete licensing tests, after that, a home visit will be scheduled, and then she’s yours to bring home while we look for other foster parents who might be interested,” the blonde typed away at her computer as she talked, “Because it’s… well… you, the background check and home check can be expedited and if you fill everything out I can have someone from the DCF at your home tonight. Until then I’m sorry but she needs to stay here.”

It was a lot of information and Maria thought about everything that Phil had talked to her about, all the work it was going to be before everything was settled. Still, she was determined to bring the child home with her by the end of the night. Grace was right, it was Maria Hill, she had an impeccable record, nothing would come up on a security check, her house was as clean as she left it before getting on the carrier, which is to say it was spotless. 

“Let’s get started then,” the Commander nodded. 

“I’ve already emailed you the videos and tests, we’ll fill these out after and I’ll have a friend of mine from DCF put you down as an emergency visit tonight,” Grace smiled and looked at the girl, “feel free to take her to room 4, I’ll keep it empty.” 

It was the second long process of the day, Maria watched the trainings in double speed, taking notes just as fast. Every test she passed, every form she filled out correctly, and yet it was still after 10pm by the time she finished. Grace had brought them dinner from the caf at 5pm and helped Ellie eat as much as she was willing to eat before falling back asleep. 

“Okay, I think that’s everything,” the blonde stacked the papers on the table the two were sitting around. 

“Given that it’s a quarter past ten, and you’ve been in here with me for the last four hours, I take it you stayed past your shift?” Maria quirked an eyebrow at the woman in front of her. 

“What can I say? I have a bleeding heart for kids who have someone who’s really trying to support them,” she shrugged, “it also helps when they’re cute.”

Maria nodded, she really was a cute kid, but as she looked back at the woman in front of her, whose cheeks were tinted with blush, and who was looking at Maria, she realized that the woman may not have been talking about the child. 

“Well,” the Commander gave a small smile “thank you, I really mean it. If there’s anything I can do, please don’t hesitate.”

“I’ll let you know, I have a feeling I’ll be seeing more of this one in the future. I’m sure I’ll come up with something eventually,” she looked fondly at the girl who was asleep on one of the bunk beds in the room, “Jack will be at the address you gave in 30 minutes, as long as he gives you the stamp of approval you should be good to go.” 

“Thank you, Grace,” Maria stood up and stuck out her hand. 

“You’re welcome Commander Hill,” the blonde shook her hand back.

“After all of this? You can call me Maria.” the brunette walked over to the sleeping child and tried to pick her up as gently as she could. The girl slept like a bag of potatoes. 

“Well, then you’re welcome, Maria.” 

The three left the room and made their way towards the front desk where Grace handed the files over to another worker at the Children’s Center. With 30 minutes, Maria had enough time to pick up the bags from her office before loading the child into one of the company cars with a car seat that had been installed by Grace around hour 4 of the training videos. 

She walked out of the center and realized just how late it was. The Triskelion was nearly silent as she made her way to the 40th floor, the few agents who were there didn’t notice as she walked through the hallways until she was standing in front of her office. 

The bags were organized neatly to the side of her door, taking up a considerable amount of space as she squeezed by and into her office. She laid Ellie down on the couch and immediately pulled open the top drawer of her desk, grabbing a piece of gum and shoving it in her mouth as she looked around. There was a good chance that she would be home for the next few days and made a list of what she needed to bring with her. 

The brunette was running on fumes as she got to the garage, mentally cursing Phil for buying so much stuff for the girl who was still asleep in the one arm that wasn’t carrying bags. 

“Leave?” the little voice startled her as she finished buckling the girl into the car seat.

“Yeah little bear, leave together.” Maria gently pushed some of the curls that had come loose from the girl's braids out of her face. 

Seemingly happy with this answer, the girl nodded and closed her eyes again. She rested her head on one of the sides of the car seat and was back to sleep before Maria had finished loading the bags into the trunk. 

She took the familiar route home, passing by her car that was still parked in her spot, then the guards at the gate, then the Mexican restaurant (that was still open and oh so tempting), then the park and the river walk, before pulling into the parking garage. The whole way home she had to remind herself to keep her eyes on the road and not on the rearview mirror to watch the sleeping child. Her knuckles popped as she put the car in park. 

One more trip and then you can sleep. 

One more trip was all it took for her to nearly collapse with the girl in her arms on the couch as they got into the apartment. Her fingers burned as she put the bags they were carrying on the ground with a satisfying  thud . 

However, her other arm stayed wrapped around the girl protectively as she looked at the clock. They had five more minutes until Jack from DCF would be there for the home visit, not long enough to do anything useful in the home. She carried the girl over to her own bed and laid her under the covers, catching her arms on the material twice and forgetting to give her a pillow the first time. There was a learning curve with kids it seemed. 

She had just taken Ellie’s shoes off before there was a knock on the door, one that she answered with a tired face. 

“Maria Hill?” the man was tall with hair and features, he gave a bright smile. 

“Yes, you must be Jack?” she shook his hand and let him walk into her apartment. 

“I am,” he turned and looked at Maria, “unique case we have here.” 

Maria mulled the word over, unique, not bad, but not good either, “I don’t think anyone could have expected it. Thank you for coming tonight.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m in the business of making sure that children are looked after with love and safety, it happens at all hours,” he chuckled, “that and, I owed Grace a favor.”

He walked around the rooms, asking questions as he did so and marking things off on his clipboard. There was a nervousness that sat in Maria’s stomach as she followed him, hoping that the answers she was providing were the right ones. Jack had a broad smile on his face as he walked into the bedroom and saw what could only be described as a child cocoon. 

“Will she stay in this room permanently?” he was writing something on his clipboard. 

“No, I plan on converting the office into her room. But she’ll be here until then and I’ll be on couch duty,” she watched as he nodded and continued to write. 

They had gone through all of the rooms and ended up at her kitchen island. 

“Okay, so there are some things that need corrections, her clothes-” he started and Maria cut him off. 

“70% of those bags are clothes, I just need to put them away,” she motioned to the bags that were still by her front door.

“In her own dresser or closet preferably,” he half questioned, half stated

“Of course,” she made a mental note.

“Your cleaning supplies and sharp objects-” he started again.

“Will all be placed under the sink with this,” she held up an extra padlock from her junk drawer.

“By the end of the night,” he once again half asked, half told.

“Done.”

“Okay, your food situation is concerning, there’s enough here but barely, and I mean barely.”

“I just got back from… a work trip,” she had no good excuse, “but first thing tomorrow morning we’ll get food.”

“Good, the rest of these are needed but not pressing,” he slid over a somewhat long list and smiled. 

“That’s it?” she stared at the man and glanced over his shoulder at the clock on the stove 11:58pm. 

“That’s it, by the power vested in me by the District of Columbia, I grant you emergency custody of Elizaveta.” He gave a big smile and a handshake.

“Thank you, thank you so much,” she smiled back and walked him to the front door. 

The door closed and she flopped onto the couch with the grace of an elephant. She was home-  they  were home. 

“Help?” a little voice, followed by little fingers, prodded at her arm. 

She sat up quickly and looked around the barely light living room, her eyes falling on the child in front of her who looked somewhat distressed. 

“Help how?” she tried to keep her voice from sounding too tired. 

“Bathroom?” the little girl asked.

Maria got up and opened up the door on the right, turning on the light that made both of them squint before closing the door as the child started to pull the bottom half of her clothes off. She had fallen asleep on the couch before doing anything else the night before, which included waking Ellie up to tell her where they were and where the bathroom was. 

There was a flush followed by the sound of the girl humming as she washed her hands. The door opened and light flooded back into the space, ending as the girl flicked the switch. 

“Do you want me to help you back to bed? It’s not time to be up yet,” Maria tried to explain to the child who shook her head, “it’s still nighttime and you look like you're tired.”

The Commander watched as the girl shook her head again and glanced around in the dark before flicking the light back on. There was a noticeable difference in the child as the light came back into space. 

“You don’t want to be in the dark?” Maria speculated and watched the sleepy child shake her head once more, “what if I give you a flashlight and you sleep with it on next to you?”

The girl looked skeptical and watched as Maria made her way into the kitchen and retrieved the item from the junk drawer, clicking it on and shining it against the ceiling. 

“It will stay on until the sun comes up and if you get scared or want to see something more closely, you just have to shine in the right direction,” the Commander demonstrated in big movements, “come on, let me help you back to bed.”

Darkness was illuminated as she moved through the space and into the bedroom where she placed the source of the light on the nightstand and helped pick the girl up and settle her back into the bed. Before Maria fully blinked, the light was snatched from the nightstand and brought under the blankets where the child inspected it more closely. Elizaveta moved in mostly clunky child-like movements, except for her hands, which moved with the skill and ease of a pickpocket three times her age. 

“Mine?” she placed her hand over the light and then took it off, watching how the room would go from light to dark. 

“Sure kid, all yours,” Maria smiled as she watched the overly tired girl fight sleep to keep looking at her new item, “but now it's time to go back to sleep okay?”

“Okay,” the curly-haired girl rubbed her eye with a closed fist and curled into a tight ball as she normally did. 

Maria sat on the edge of the bed for a moment longer before closing the door and retreating back to the living room. The place was still a mess from the night before but she figured it could wait a few more hours. 

A few more hours turned into five, her body was sore from the angle she slept and it took a minute for her to regain her bearings. She sat up fully and went to change into something other than the uniform she had slept in when she remembered that there was a sleeping child on the other side of the door. 

Or at least she thought that the girl was sleeping, but after getting closer to the door she could hear the faint clicking sound of the flashlight turning on and off. 

“Hey, Ellie?” The brunette knocked quietly on the door and suppressed a laugh as the girl opened the door and encouraged her to come into the room in a grand arm movement, “how’d you sleep?”

She followed into the room and sat on the side of the bed, watching as the girl stood next to the nightstand and picked up the flashlight again. 

“I sleep last night,” the girl nodded, “until the sun came up.”

“Have you been sitting here awake for very long?” Maria suddenly felt bad for oversleeping. 

The child shrugged, “light is still working.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” she looked at the girl who clicked the flashlight one more time before looking up to the woman in front of her, “we have a lot to do today, but you need to eat and take your meds after yesterday. Hungry?”

Green eyes opened a little wider and the girl nodded before leaving her spot by the side of the bed and walking towards the door where she promptly stopped and waited for Maria. The older woman wasn’t sure if it was a trained habit for the girl not to leave rooms without someone, or if it was because she was unsure of the space. Either way, Maria nodded and walked out of the room before hearing the sound of little footsteps on the hardwood floor behind her. 

“I have oatmeal and… actually that’s about it but I know that you like it so let's make that before we go to the store,” she turned around and looked at the child who was staring up at the countertop, “here, let me help you up onto the stool and you can watch.”

She walked around the island and placed the child on the other side, the girl sat on her knees and kept her eyes on the open pantry the whole time. Every time the Commander moved, she felt eyes follow her. 

“I’m going to turn on some music okay?” figuring it would help cut the tension she walked into the living room and pushed a CD into the player before adjusting the volume. 

The girl seemed to relax almost immediately until her eyes caught the lip of the woman in front of her. Maria watched as the girl reached up and lightly traced over the split in her lip that she had gotten the day before. 

Ellie narrowed her eyes, "hurt?"

"No," the woman shook her head, in all reality, she had forgotten about it until she ran her tongue over the cut tasting the coppery lingering of blood. 

The child didn't seem to believe her and continued staring at the woman as she made her way around the kitchen, finding the same type of peace as the child did as the music filled the small space. 

She waited until there was a large bowl of oatmeal out before she started talking again, “We both need showers and to change clothes, then I’m going to put your new clothes in the laundry and we're going to go to the store. I know it doesn’t sound like all that much fun but those are on the list of necessities we got last night.”

“Jack,” the girl said between bites.   

“Right, Jack told me that we need to have those things here,” she wondered how many of the conversations the child had heard to know the CDF worker's name, “then we can come back home and watch shows about space but I have to work while we do it, okay?”

“Okay,” the girl nodded and continued to eat the oatmeal. 

The older woman leaned over her own bowl in front of her and ate, “you’re pretty observant for a five-year-old, ya know? Smart too.”

Ellie shrugged and continued eating.

“vous parlez français?” Maria rattled off one of the few French phrases she knew. 

“Oui” the child pushed a curl out of her face and ate more. 

“sprechen sie deutsch?” she asked in German.

“ja, ein wenig,” Ellie shrugged. 

“Tú hablas español?” Maria watched as the girl went to answer but before she did, her phone started to ring. 

The brunette hadn’t looked at it in over 12 hours and dreaded the thought that it could be a call from work, asking her to come in. She found the phone still in her bag and barely glanced at the caller ID before answering. 

“This is Hill,” she walked back towards the kitchen. 

“Yeah, this better be Hill,” a  very  frustrated Russian answered, “do you know how many times I’ve texted you?”

“Enough for you to have to call?” Maria tried to diffuse the situation, knowing how much the redhead hated calling. 

“Damn right enough for me to have to call, I thought you were dead Ria!” Natasha yelled into the receiver.

“Oh did you?” The Commander walked back and took a bite of her oatmeal, watching as Ellie stared at the phone pressed against the woman's ear. 

“Well, no. But I was still worri- ugh whatever. I know we didn’t leave on the best note last time and you’re probably thinking ‘oh she’s calling to apologize’' the Russian was just getting started. 

“I promise you, that is not what I’m thinking,” the brunette took another bite and went to get the child's medication out from one of the few bags she unpacked the night before. 

“Well think again Hill because I have a lot to say!” Natasha clearly wasn’t listening to what she said, “I made a list of all the reasons that dropping the kid into the system is a bad idea, reason one: she will hurt herself or others and may end up in jail. Reason two: I asked Clint and he said that maybe they could take her for a little bit. Reason three: She has hair that-”

“Do you want to tell her about this list?” Maria laughed at how disorganized the women's list was.

“No, I want you to listen! Reason four: not only is she little but she could get scooped up and no one would know. Reason five: her powers make her a- wait… she’s still with you? I thought you were back in DC already.” Natasha faltered, something she never did. 

“I am, she’s with me for the foreseeable future,” the brunette still wasn’t positive about the future and tried to keep her voice low as she pulled the medicine out of the cabinet in the bathroom.  

“You aren’t just saying this to shut me up? There are much better ways of doing that ya know,” Natasha lowered her voice.

“Nope, she’s sitting at the island right now,” Maria made her way back to the girl, medication in hand. 

“But… I had a list.”

“And it was a very good list, now if you don't have anything else to say we can continue this conversation tonight okay? We need to run some errands,” she walked back to see the child eyeing the bottle in her hand suspiciously. 

“Okay… Maria, are you really ready to take care of a kid?” Natasha was quiet as she asked.

“You can’t give me a list and then ask that question, Tasha. We’ll talk later okay?” she filled the cap with the pink liquid. 

“Okay, but we better talk,” The Russian warned. 

“You have my word.”

“Okaybye,” the sound of the phone disconnecting happened before the brunette could get another word in. 

The sound of plastic scraping on plastic brought her back to the reality that was Elizaveta in her kitchen, eating every last bite of oatmeal. The girl was listening to the music that played over the small apartment, nodding along to the song as she eyed the medication that sat next to her bowl. 

“Choke it down and we’ll get you in the shower,” Maria scooted it closer to her hand that had just released the spoon. 

To Elizaveta’s credit, she really did try to take the medication with as little response as possible, however, the chalky aftertaste made her eyes water as she looked at the woman across the island from her. 

The rest of the morning had gone by without too many problems, the girl's clothes were in the laundry and her body and teeth were clean by the time there was a knock on the door to the Commander's apartment.       

“Wait here,” she instructed Ellie as she walked out of the bathroom they had just finished braiding her hair in. 

The woman looked through the peephole and recognized one of the apartment staff members standing on the other side, surrounded by boxes. 

“Hi,” Maria opened the door and took in the sight. She glanced at the labels on the boxes and realized immediately what was occurring. 

Every label had the same name on it: Philip J. Coulson. They would often pick up packages for each other during longer missions and so she opened her mouth to explain the unfortunate outcome of the man. 

“Hi Ms. Hill,” the staff member looked around at all of the boxes, “we have been putting these packages at Mr. Coulson's door for the last few days but no one seems to be home. Given the number of boxes, we needed somewhere else to store them for him. You’re on his list of approved people to pick them up so we figured we would bring them to you.”

“Right,” she looked again at the sea of brown and figured that some, if not all, of the boxes, were for one soon-to-be spoiled child, “here’s the thing, Phil is… Coulson passed away and his wife is probably not going to be back to their apartment any time soon. Just go ahead and forward all of his mail to me if you don't mind.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” the staff member looked as if he had gotten similar messages before, given that it was a SHIELD-owned building, it was probably not far from the truth, “we’ll make sure they make their way to your apartment.” 

She exchanged a goodbye with the young staff member and made her way back to the bathroom where she was greeted by a wide-eyed child, comb in hand ready to fight. 

“We’re good, safe,” Maria said to the child who released her weapon of choice slowly, “ safe ,” the woman reiterated in Russian. 

“Door,” the girl eyed the entryway. 

“You have packages,” the brunette walked back to the front of the apartment and opened up the door to show the girl. 

“Me?” the little voice was filled with mistrust. 

“I think so,” Maria said, pulling each box into the apartment, noting which ones had pictures of what was inside on the cardboard. 

From what she could gather, there was almost everything needed for the start of a bedroom. She would catalog everything later and added it to her mental to-do list of things she would do when they came back home. 

“Ready to go?” she asked the girl who was still staring at all the boxes. 

“Okay,” Ellie got up and pulled her backpack on, clasping the strap across her chest before standing by the door. 

Maria laced her shoes and wondered what the attachment to the backpack was about. This time, she pulled out her phone and added it to an actual list she had titled “Questions about Ellie” that she was going to run by Natasha, maybe Clint, and probably a child psychologist. 

But for now, she didn’t say anything about it and grabbed her wallet and keys before opening the door. 

Chapter Text

“It’s for safety,” Maria watched the girl shake her head again, “we can’t go anywhere if you don’t sit in it.”

They had been standing in front of the car seat for the better half of 5 minutes, apparently, the only reason the child had sat in the seat the night before was out of sheer exhaustion. Now that she was firing on all cylinders, the curly-haired girl refused to sit in something “for babies”. 

“Am big,” Ellie held on to her backpack tightly and shook her head again. 

“I know you’re big, but you have to sit in it. Look it sits up higher so you can see outside better,” this seemed to get the girl's attention more and so the Commander rolled with it, “and there are these cool buckles, and look at this, even a spot for snacks and a cup holder.”

The girl got closer to see all of the amenities of the car seat, noting the snacks section and buckles in particular. 

“The store is only a few minutes away,” apparently that was good enough for the girl who finally nodded and climbed in clumsily. 

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the parking lot of the grocery store where Maria had promised the girl could pick out one special thing from the store if she sat in the car seat on the way home too. 

The muggy heat of the afternoon had descended on the greater DC area and in the 30 seconds from when she turned off the car to unbuckling the child from her seat, she had already started to sweat a little. Maria held out her hand and looked at the girl who had just secured her backpack. 

“You have to hold my hand whenever we’re in the parking lot okay?” she felt warm fingers grip her hand tightly. 

“Okay,” the girl looked around nervously as they walked towards the sweet relief of air conditioning. 

Maria pulled out a cart and noticed how the girl flinched at the loud noise it made. 

“You don’t have to hold my hand in here,” the brunette said, “but you have to hold on to the cart the whole time, okay?” 

“Okay,” the girl's voice was small as she wove her fingers into the metal lattice of the cart, opting to stand right by the handle Maria was pushing. 

The two made their way slowly through the first part of the store, Ellie continued to flinch and stumble into Maria’s leg. The latter watched as the child glanced around the new environment, eying everything that they walked by. 

It took another two minutes and the girl closing her eyes tightly before Maria crouched down next to her. 

“No portals,” the woman placed her hand on Ellie’s shoulder, causing her to open her eyes again, “can we try something?”

The girl gripped her backpack tightly, concern etched into her features. Maria picked the girl up and placed her in the center of the cart, watching as she at first glanced around, before relaxing more and nodding to the woman. 

“Better?” she double-checked before pushing them towards the produce section.

The two of them made their way around the store, Maria at one point gave the girl the list and started telling her which items to cross off as the cart became more crowded. They had made it through the list and to the candy aisle before the Commander helped the girl out of the cart. 

“Okay, go ahead and pick out something and add it to the cart,” she smiled and watched the girl look at each item very carefully. 

Maria looked at the list and pulled out her phone to check how much time they had before the child would need to eat again. By the time she looked back up, the girl had reemerged and was trying to climb back into the cart.    

“Got your One Thing?” she looked at the girl who had a package of gummy worms clutched to her chest, “that’s a good choice.”

The brunette waited in line and started unloading the groceries onto the conveyor belt with the help of a 5-year-old who handed her everything, item by item. 

“What a great helper,” the bagger at the end of the register smiled and handed Ellie a sticker as Maria pushed the cart to the end of the area. 

“Hold old?” the woman behind the register asked as she scanned the items.

“Five,” Maria answered, wishing she knew the exact birth date of the girl. 

“What a great age. Savor it,” the woman sighed, “I wish mine were still that little but instead I have a 14-year-old who rolls her eyes at everything I say and a 16-year-old who we’re trying to keep from speeding every time he gets in the car.”

“Sounds like a busy time to be a parent,” Maria offered kindly.

“It is,” she finished scanning the items and read off the total before focusing her attention on the girl in the cart who was playing with the straps to her backpack, “now you be good for mommy and help her with the groceries.”

“Oh, I’m not her mom, I'm her current guardian,” Maria started, unsure of why she felt the need to correct the woman. 

“I’m sorry,” the woman's cheeks tinted pink, “you two just look similar and- well anyway, have a good afternoon.”  

The Commander pushed the cart back to the car, Ellie still had the gummy bears pressed against her chest along with a sticker from the bagger that proudly stated she was “A valued Wegmans customer”. 

With the promise of gummy worms, the girl was much less hesitant to take her backpack off and get into the car seat as Maria put the rest of the groceries in the trunk. The ride back was quiet as the girl looked out the window next to her and nodded her head to the music that played on the radio. 

As soon as the car was in park, the child tried to unbuckle herself but stopped after the third failed attempt to press the needed release button. Maria helped her and watched as the girl refastened her backpack before taking off towards the door to the building. 

Before the Commander could call out to Ellie, a car came around the corner too quickly and Maria found herself snagging her fingers on the handle of the backpack. She had just enough time to pull the girl back out of the way of the speeding car, silently thanking the child’s attachment to the backpack. 

“Elizaveta!” Maria called out as soon as the wide-eyed child was safely back to the parking spot, “what did I tell you about holding my hand in the parking lot!”

She could hear her Commander voice come out as she yelled at the girl in front of her who cowered into the side of the car. 

“You have to hold my hand!” the woman pinched the bridge of her nose and looked down at the girl who had closed her eyes and pushed herself as far away from Maria as possible. 

The brunette picked the bags out of the trunk and stuck her hand down to hold the girl’s who flinched away, “Ellie…” 

Great job Hill, yell at the kid who doesn’t trust anyone.  

“I’m sorry,” Maria spoke softly and kneeled next to the girl, “you could have gotten hurt and that scared me and I yelled.” 

Ellie peered up at the woman in front of her, shifting her gaze as soon as it ghosted past Maria’s eyes. She stared at the spot on the ground where the car had sped by but didn’t curl back into the space she had the minute before. 

“How about we go inside and have a talk?” The Commander asked, unsure of what she would actually say. 

The girl didn’t respond but put her fingers tentatively into Maria’s palm as they made their way from the parking garage to the main building. The walk was long and awkward as they passed the desk attendant from earlier and stepped into the elevator back to the apartment.  

By the time the brunette opened the front door, she was still racking her brain for what to say to the child. The few parenting articles she had downloaded still remained untouched on her tablet, something she was kicking herself for not reading sooner. 

Ellie stood quietly by the front door as Maria unloaded the groceries, fidgeting with the straps to the backpack she had yet to take off. 

“Ellie, come here,” Maria beckoned in a low voice, not wanting to scare the child. 

The girl walked slowly, keeping her eyes downcast the entire time until she bumped into the island. The brunette walked up and placed her hands on the girl's hips, trying to keep her movements broad as she picked her up and put her on the chair she had eaten breakfast at.

“I’m not mad at you, you don’t have to stand over by the door,” she tried to meet the child’s eyes, “we both made mistakes, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, but I told you to always hold my hand in parking lots right?”

The girl did nothing to confirm this, still staring at a spot in front of her, “honey, can you look at me?”

Slowly, Ellie raised her gaze until it was focused on a spot next to Maria’s mouth. The woman remembered how she had a hard time making eye contact as a child and didn’t correct it. 

“Do you remember when I said to always hold my hand in parking lots?” she tried again, this time the girl nodded, “did you make a mistake and forget that rule?”

The child went to nod again before stopping herself and staring at the countertop once more. 

“You can tell me you made a mistake, it’s okay to make mistakes.”

“Did not know,” the girl’s eyes were full of fear as she looked up, “do not want get trouble.”

“You’re not in trouble, little bear,” Maria placed her hand on the girl's shoulder.

“Do not know lot,” the girl finally met the woman's gaze.

And suddenly the Commander felt like the worst new guardian ever, of course, the girl doesn't know what a parking lot is. She had no idea that this was also an area she needed Maria’s hand. 

“I am so sorry,” the brunette gave a smile to the girl, “that was my fault and I should have explained it better.”

The girl stared in shock at the open apology from the woman standing next to her. 

“Can you forgive me?”

Ellie nodded, “yes.” 

“How about this, if there are more than three cars somewhere, you have to hold my hand? How does that sound?” the Commander watched as the child stuck one, then two, then three fingers out and looked at them. 

“Okay,” the girl nodded once more. 

The blue-eyed woman checked the clock on the stove and walked over to the fridge to grab a snack for the child. Do kids eat a lot or am I really just that bad at remembering to eat ?

“Snack?” she held up an apple and a jar of peanut butter, the latter catching the child’s attention, “you like peanut butter?”

“I love peanut butter,” was one of the first grammatically correct sentences the girl had said, earning a snort laugh from Maria. 

“Do all Russians love peanut butter or just ones from the Red…” she stopped talking and shook her head, “I’ll make sure we get some more next time we go to the store.”

She cut the apples into small pieces and measured out a generous helping of peanut butter before sliding the plate over to the child who had watched her every move. The girl dipped an apple, then licked all of the peanut butter off before starting to dip it again.

“You have to eat at least part of the apple, kid,” Maria smiled as the girl quietly sighed before biting into the fruit. 

With the snack figured out, the woman made her way back over to the entryway of the apartment which was still filled with boxes. She pulled out her phone and started to make a list of all of the items now present. 

Everything was there from a new bed to a new dresser and clothes, Phil had thought about everything the girl would need and things that she probably didn’t need. She looked at the list again as she heard the pitter-patter of little feet headed toward her. 

“Ria?” the girl held out one slice of apple with a small amount of peanut butter on it, staring at the Commander intensely.

“Oh,” Maria winced slightly at the fingers that were covered in the reminisce of the snack before accepting the food, “thank you for sharing.” 

The girl bowed her head and looked at a few of the boxes. 

“There’s a lot,” the brunette finished the apple slice and joined the girl by the box with a picture of a toy chest on it, “Phil wanted to make sure you had everything.”

“Mine?” Ellie looked up towards the woman next to her. 

“Yours,” Maria nodded, “I’m going to put the bed together tonight so you have a bed that’s Ellie sized.” 

The woman tugged the largest box into the office and used a letter opener to cut through the tape. She glanced around the room, it was a small space but Ellie was a small child and probably wouldn’t spend that much time in the room anyway. The desk would need to be relocated but for now, there was enough room for the bed if nothing else. 

Pieces of styrofoam and plastic tumbled out of the box along with instructions that promised “Simple installation in 7 steps”. She could do 7 simple steps, she was the deputy director of Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, how hard could it be?

Hard. It turns out building children's furniture was more difficult than 90% of the missions the Commander had supervised and 80% of the missions she had been a part of. Which is why she found herself surrounded by screws and allen wrenches a quarter past 11pm. 

She thought back to a promise she had made earlier in the day to Natasha and pulled out her phone, hoping a video would tide her over in place of a phone call that they would need to have at some point. A pang of guilt hit her as she thought about the lack of talking they had done since the child had come home with her but it was fine, they were just friends, Natasha probably had better things to do with her time than talk to Hill about life and the little girl in her bedroom.  

“Hey Tasha,” Maria angled the phone in her hand towards her face, “hope that your trip to the farm is good. How am I doing? Oh, thank you for asking. I’m slowly dying, death by quarter-inch screw. Whoever said this was easy deserves to eat beets for a month straight.” 

She flipped the camera around to show the wreckage that was her office Ellie’s room. The bed was finally finished but had taken the better part of 8 hours to complete with the smaller Russian watching between whatever cartoon Maria had played on the TV. They had stopped twice for proper meals and to keep the Commander from losing her mind. 

“Want to know how Ellie’s doing? Another great question, Tasha,” Maria walked out of the room and cracked the door to her bedroom open. In the center of the bed, the girl was still cocooned tightly just as she had been for the last 3 hours, “sleeping like a log.”

The brunette closed the door and went into the living room, flopping on the couch, “she’s fine, other than me almost getting her killed by a speeding car today. They really need to enforce speed limits in parking garages. Anyway, she’s now sleeping away as I put together the world's most intricate bed. I would curse Phil for picking this one out, but for some reason, I feel like he did it on purpose just to see me struggle from wherever he is.” 

Her eyes stung from the late night, definitely not from the tears that threatened her vision at the thought of the agent, “anyway, hope you’re okay, really. Talk to you soon.”

She ended the video and sent it to the woman without a second thought, they were still in a weird place and she wondered if she would even get a response back. There was something about the way that her insides ached at the thought that she might not receive a response that gave her pause. They were just friends, friends who slept together and talked nearly constantly, but still just friends. 

Right, friends. Nothing more. 

The couch had never felt so comfortable and she leaned back, her fingers aching a little bit as she turned the TV to the news and thought about work. It was one of the few days where she hadn’t checked on anything SHIELD related, okay maybe once or twice , but still a steep reduction in her normal Saturday schedule. 

There hadn’t been any emergency emails in her inbox, most of the focus was still on the clean-up of New York. From what the broadcaster was currently talking about, it seemed that Stark was making plans on rebuilding his tower and helping the community with efforts to replace some of the buildings that had been demolished in the fight. 

A video of Pepper talking about rebuilding efforts was playing as the door to Maria’s room opened, little fingers holding the door frame tightly. 

“Hi there, little bear,” Maria muted the TV and focused her attention on the child who rubbed at her eyes, “what do you need?”  

The child tugged on the hem of her pajamas, the purple material ran through the fingers of her right hand before she showed her left, “dead.”

She rubbed her eye one more time and looked anywhere other than at Maria as if unsure of what the woman would do about the problem in her hand. 

“How about you bring that over here and I’ll take a look at it,” the woman coaxed the girl to bring the flashlight she had declared “dead” over. 

The child yawned and something in Maria’s heart warmed at the sight, her puffy face that still had lines on it from sleeping wrapped in blankets was simply adorable. Slowly the girl shuffled into the living room, squinting at the lights that were still on.  

“Alright, let's see here,” Maria turned off the overhead light and took the flashlight from the child, hoping she had backup batteries. 

She walked into the kitchen and rifled through drawers until she found enough batteries to keep the flashlight going for a while. By the time she had gotten back, the child was almost asleep, watching the TV through nearly closed eyes. 

“Fixed it for you,” she whispered to the child who stuck her hand out for the item. Where most children had attachments to stuffed animals and toys, Elizaveta seemed keen on her backpack and flashlight.

Maria pushed non-existent hair out of the child's face just to smooth some of the skin that still had faint lines etched into it, green eyes drooped until they closed completely at the touch. The woman sat on the other side of the couch and continued watching the news until her phone buzzed. 

Nat: Don’t bring beets into this, they've done nothing wrong.

Maria smiled, knowing about the Russians' love for the root vegetable. 

Nat: Also don’t die from building kid shit. I’d miss ya

There was nothing else said but still the deputy director found herself falling asleep with a grin like a love-struck teeneager. 

The next morning started early with Ellie pushing her fingers into the woman's ribs until she woke up or rather leapt up which her body did not appreciate. 

“Hungry?” Maria yawned and started to brew a pot of coffee as she made her way into the kitchen. 

Ellie nodded, her curls falling around her face as she did so until she pushed them all away with a few swipes of her hands. Maria made oatmeal as she had the day before and talked to the girl about a space show she had seen an advertisement for.  

“Do you like space or is it just the first thing you picked out with Phil?” Maria asked as she sipped at her coffee which was still too hot. 

“Like it,” the girl nodded, “lots”

“More than peanut butter?” the Commander asked.

This stumped the child who put her spoon down and seemed to be deep in thought, “maybe.”

“Wow you must really like space then,” the woman smiled, “well then maybe we can watch the show when it comes out.”

The two of them talked as they got ready for the day, a day that consisted of moving old furniture and building new. Maria tried to keep her grumbling to herself as she thought about the second task. 

“Tomorrow I might have to go to work which means you’re going to go back to the Children's Center,” the blue-eyed woman noticed the panic in the girl's eyes as she stood behind her and tried her best to braid hair that had a mind of its own. 

“Do not want,” the child shook her head, causing Maria to rebraid a section. 

“What is it that you don’t want to do?” she had read a few parenting articles the night before and learned that it was best to pinpoint the problem before creating a solution. 

“Do not want to go,” the girl scrunched her face. 

“Why not?” Maria asked, picking the girl up and putting her on the countertop to fix her hair. 

“Do not want leave,” the girl ran her fingers over the collar of the woman’s shirt. 

“When I’m done for the day you’re going to come back here after. With me.” 

The girl's fingers stilled before starting to trace the fabric again, “do not leave.”

“I won't, I promise,” Maria gently grasped the girl's hand, “do you know what a pinky promise is?” 

The girl tilted her head to the side. 

“It’s a promise you make like this,” the woman hooked her pinky with the girls, “and it means you can’t break it. Pinky promise you will come back here with me.”

The child looked at their interlocked fingers and nodded very seriously as if this was an acceptable form of communicating a promise. 

“Alright now let’s go find you something to wear for the day,” she stepped back and watched as the girl scooted to the edge of the counter before hopping off and falling to her knees before getting back up and running into the office. 

They had just picked out a shirt when there was knocking from the front door, Ellie glanced over at Maria before starting to close her eyes tightly. 

“Hey hey, it’s okay. Probably just more packages,” the Commander reassured as she made her way to the door. 

It was not more packages. On the other side of the peephole stood none other than Steve Rogers. 

Shit, there’s probably an emergency at work. Maybe I can drop Ellie off with Grace or she can stay in my office, I just barely got her on board with tomorrow and I would have more time to-

“Hey Steve,” she calmed her mind, pinpoint the problem before creating a solution , “something at work?” 

“Hey Ria, no nothing at work” he smiled and held up a tool bag, “I was told you might need help with some furniture.”

Tasha . 

“Thank you, I’m pretty sure if I see another allen wrench I’m going to lose it,” she walked into the living room, letting Steve follow, “Hey Ellie, do you want to come meet my friend Steve?”

She watched as the girl peeked her head out from behind Maria’s bedroom before disappearing back into the room. 

“Sorry, she’s a little weary of strangers,” she excused herself and made her way into the bedroom where Ellie was sitting on the floor next to the closet, “don't want to meet him yet?”

The girl shook her head.

“That’s okay.”

Maria helped the girl change into the clothes they had picked out before walking to the front of the apartment and grabbing the child’s backpack, “just one second.”

“Take your time,” Steve raised his free hand openly.

The child was still in front of the closet when she got back, “how about this, you sit in here and hang out, and if you want to come and say hi you can.” 

Green eyes met blue as Maria unzipped the backpack and retrieved the tablet, knowing how the girl felt more comfortable with knowledge. It was Phil’s old tablet which meant it took two clicks for her to find exactly what she wanted: Captain America the Illustrated Story. 

“Watch this before you go back to your other shows, it’s all about Steve,” she smiled and handed the tablet to the girl who immediately pushed play and watched as the cartoon version of Rogers filled the screen.

She closed the door most of the way before meeting the human version of the man in her living room. 

“Sorry about that, she might come out later,” she motioned for him to follow her into the office, “I think the desk has to come out first before adding in… well everything else.”

“Got it,” he unplugged two of the monitors before lifting the entire desk and carrying it out to the living room, “anywhere in particular?”

The Commander laughed at the lack of effort he had to use before wincing at some of the files that were now unorganized, “over by the widow I think.”

It would be a tight squeeze for her in the corner of the room, but it would have to do, the space wasn’t large enough for it to go anywhere else. Steve placed it down in the nook of the room where she asked before picking up a few of the furniture boxes and carrying them back into the room with the same amount of ease. 

He paused by Maria’s bedroom door, “Is that… the illustrated story I’m hearing?” he laughed, blush creeping in. 

“She likes to know about something or- I guess someone before interacting,” Maria shrugged before opening one of the boxes Steve had carried in. 

“Yeah? What else does she like?” he asked in a way that felt… brotherly if she had to name it. 

“We’re still figuring that out, but space for starters, and peanut butter, hates the taste of her medication and likes gummy worms,” it was easier than she expected to talk about the girl. 

“Children’s medication tastes terrible, I tried every day to get out of taking mine as a kid. You can’t blame her for that, Ria” he opened up some of the boxes and took out tools. 

“I don’t blame her for any of it, she didn’t ask to be a part of any of the shit with the Red Room.”

“She’s from the Room?” The blonde stopped working and looked up.

“That’s how Loki got a hold of her or at least part of it,” she sighed, “Tasha thinks she was working with a teenager from the Room who wanted to get them out and sought refuge with a God who promised them something like freedom.” 

“And the teenager?”

“Gone as far as we know, she was alone when Loki pushed her through the portal, and the last reports we have of her were from a few years back,” Maria didn’t have any other information about the girl named Kyra. 

“Rumor has it she has Loki’s powers,” Steve kept his head down and continued putting boards together. 

“I don’t think so, I mean she can teleport but I think that's because of the tesseract, or at least that’s what the preliminary results showed,” the brunette handed the man another screw. 

“So she likes peanut butter and can teleport,” he smiled and finished the first drawer, much faster than Maria would have been able to do. 

“Right. You’re good at this,” she motioned to the furniture he continued to build, “ever think about building your own kid’s furniture in the future?”

“Oh I don’t know” he rubbed the back of his neck, “I think that dream went down with the plane.”

“Don’t let what happened in 1945 dictate your whole life, Rogers. You have a second chance and who knows maybe you’ll meet the right girl… or guy and they’ll want kids too,” the brunette watched as the man blushed furiously before clearing his throat.

“Maybe you’re right but for right now I’m happy with building a nightstand for a very cute little girl,” he continued building at a speed that baffled Maria. 

“I mean it, Steve,” the Commander wasn’t going to let him off the hook so easily, “what about the waitress that works in the cafe across from you and Tasha’s place?”

“The blonde that I made an absolute fool out of myself in front of?” He finished the last drawer and started on the main section of the dresser.  

“Swing and a miss huh?” she handed him the last screw. 

“Big time.” 

“Well I think there’s someone for you out there, someone who you might not see if you’re only ever thinking about your best friend from the 30s,” the brunette waited to see if she crossed a line. 

“Says the lady who only ever thinks about one person, a person who is very much alive, and does nothing about it,” he looked up and smiled. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Tasha and I are just friends,” now it was her turn to blush. 

“First of all, I never said anything about Nat-”

Busted.  

“Second of all, the only one you’re fooling with the whole ‘we’re just friends’ line is the two of you,” the blonde finished the dresser and put all the pieces together. 

While Maria and Steve were friendly with each other, most of their conversations revolved around work and small talk when she was caught leaving Natasha’s room in the early hours of the morning. It was nice to talk to him about this kind of stuff, she could see why the Russian liked him as much as she did. 

She opened her mouth to respond before noticing that they were no longer alone, she wondered how long the girl had been sitting on the other side of the doorframe. Rather than say anything, Maria pointedly stared at the spot for Steve to get the hint. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said quietly before returning to her normal volume, “thank you for help with this, I’m sure Ellie is going to love it.”

“You’re welcome, it’s a great furniture set,” he kept his eyes on the doorframe, “we can build the nightstand next if you want so that she has a good place for all of her toys.”

There was some shuffling in the hallway at the mention of toys before bright green eyes peered into the room, falling first on Steve before darting over to Maria. 

“Oh hi there little bear,” Maria stayed sitting on the floor before leaning over to get closer to the child, “do you want to meet my friend Steve?”

The child shrugged before walking further into the space, staying close to the Commander. 

“Steve this is Elizaveta, Ellie this is Steve Rogers,” the brunette waited for the girl to shy into her, but after watching the video, Ellie had other plans. 

The girl walked cautiously over to the man who was unboxing the final piece of furniture. She stopped as he stuck his hand to her, “Hi, Ellie, nice to meet you.” 

“Died in ice,” the girl furrowed her brow watching the man smile and nod before she put her hand into the large one the man had offered. 

“Ellie,” Maria went to stop the girl, she was pretty sure social politeness was something she would have to correct as the girl's current guardian. 

“No,” Steve stopped her, “she’s right,” he looked at the child who had retreated back to where Maria was sitting on the floor, “I went into the ice and people thought I died, but really it was like a long nap.”

“Nap,” the child nodded as if this was a totally reasonable thing for someone to say. She understood the man immediately. 

As soon as Steve stood up to grab a tool, the girl took a large step back and crammed herself between Maria and the door, occupying the space next to the tool bag. The Commander made a note to remember that the girl seemed more at ease with people if she knew more about them and if they didn’t loom over her. 

“Sorry,” the blonde looked apologetic as he took his seat once more.

“That’s okay, right Ellie?” Maria looked at the girl who continued to stare from her spot behind the woman, “how about we go make some lunch. I bet Steve likes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches too.”  

“I do!” he smiled broadly, “I’ll finish up here and come meet ya after I’m done.”

Maria gave an appreciative smile as she walked out of the room, child in tow.

“Want to watch from the island?” she picked up the girl who nodded and put her on the chair that was quickly becoming “Ellie’s chair” at the end of the island. 

The woman pulled out the sandwich makings and thought back to her own childhood, recalling the few times she could remember her dad making her lunch. He would throw some items in between bread, hand her a bag of chips and send her on her way with no further discussion. That wouldn’t be her, it couldn’t be her. 

“I’m proud of you,” she spoke the words that had never been said by her own father. 

“Proud?” the girl tilted her head. 

“You went in and met Steve all on your own, it was a big step,” Maria wiped the excess jelly on the corner of the jar and looked at the girl in front of her.

The child was sitting on her knees, watching as the sandwiches were being assembled but blushing from what Maria had just said. She didn’t make eye contact but gave a very small smile. 

Steve emerged from the newly created bedroom and walked up to the island where three plates sat neatly next to each other. Ellie picked the one from the middle and handed it to the man who acted overly excited about the sandwich, goldfish crackers, and baby carrots that sat on the plate.

“Wow what a great lunch, thank you, Ellie,” he gave her a thumbs up which she stared at and then looked back to Maria. 

“Means good job ,” she tried to translate the gesture into Russian. 

The girl raised her eyebrows and gave another small smile before scooting her plate closer to her seat and taking a bite. The Commander stood on the other side of the island, letting her guest occupy the only other stool. She ate some of her crackers and watched as the child squeezed the excess jelly out of her own sandwich before taking another bite. 

Ellie let the jelly drip out of the sandwich and onto the plate where she used her fingers to try and swipe it up and eat it. She then took the top piece of bread off and licked the jelly side before closing the sandwich again and continuing to eat it normally. Steve had stopped eating completely as he watched the mess unfold, Maria winced internally at the mild chaos that was emerging from a child in her care.  

This went on for another minute before the girl stopped and stared at the adults who promptly resumed eating as if nothing had happened. The blonde stifled a laugh with a baby carrot and looked across the countertop to the woman who was shaking her head.

“You should know, I don’t think there’s any more room in there for more furniture,” he motioned to the room with his thumb. 

“Unless Phil ordered something else, that’s all that we will have for the foreseeable future,” she took a sip of water to wash down the sandwich, “I don’t have the money or patience for more kids' furniture.”

The space was small and kid's items were expensive, she didn’t have the funds to buy a bigger space let alone furnish it. SHIELD paid decently well but the Commander was one of the main contributors to the “Rookie Fund” that helped support new agents who came from rough backgrounds and needed help paying for essentials. She had been on the receiving end when she first joined the organization and felt the urge to pay it forward now that she made a stable salary. Plus, until recently she didn’t have a need for any more money. 

“I don’t think I offered them before,” Steve put on his Captain America voice, “but my heart and condolences go out to you both. He was a good man, smart, funny, and kind. I’ll miss him.”

Maria went to thank the man in front of her when she felt tears fill her vision. There was something about the sincerity in his voice, the honesty in the words he said, that caused her to feel the grief of losing her friend hit her again. She let out a breath and opened her mouth to thank him when a little voice answered for her. 

“Miss Phil,” the child had jelly on her fingers and face as she stared at the plate in front of her. 

“Me too, little bear. Me too” the brunette swallowed, “it’s okay to miss him and think about him.”

They all sat there for a moment until the child schooled her features and started munching on a carrot. They would need to have another conversation about grief later. But for now lunch.

Chapter Text

“What group are you with this week?” Maria asked between bites.

“Second years for the rest of the month,” the blonde sighed, “they think they know everything.”

The man from the 40s regularly worked with recruits that were in the academy, it kept him busy and close enough to the military that he felt comfortable with it. SHIELD Academy was a three-year process, the highlight of each recruit's experience was always the time they spent with a real-life hero. 

“Remind them they don’t know anything,” the blue-eyed woman snorted knowing that she would handle the situation much differently than Steve. Which led her to her cold-hearted nickname. 

“They get enough of that with everyone else,” he shrugged and finished the rest of the food on his plate, “what about you, back to work?”

“We’re going to try,” she smiled and looked at Ellie who was cautiously looking at a goldfish cracker, “I’ll tell you about it when she takes a nap if you can stay an extra ten?”

At the mention of a nap, the girl shook her head and crunched the cracker in her hand, “not sleep.”

“You think you’re not sleepy but I bet you will be when you lay down in your new bed,” Maria got up and wet a paper towel, “can I see your hands?”

The child obliged, letting the woman wipe the jelly off her fingers before moving to her face, “how’d you even get it behind your ear?” 

The girl shrugged and picked up another cracker which she once again broke. 

“They’re good, you should try one,” Maria popped one in her mouth and pretended not to notice how the child observed her. 

The three of them sat and talked until Ellie finished all but her goldfish, which she seemed to like crushing. Maria took finishing the sandwich and carrots as a win and helped the girl off her stool.

“Come on let's go put sheets on and you can lay down.” 

The girl shook her head again and then looked at Steve who gave a small wave and she was trying her best to stay away from her room.

“It was nice meeting you, Ellie,” he smiled as she ducked behind Maria’s leg slightly. 

 “Bye,” her voice was little as she looked at the ground and then followed the blue-eyed woman out of the room. 

They walked in and the child took in all of the new furniture, her eyes went from the clothes that Maria had hung earlier that morning, to the dresser and bed, “not sleep.”

“You are sleepy, I can tell,” the woman walked into the room and got the sheets that she had washed the day before, and made the bed. The light blue material was dotted with stars and spaceships, Phil thought of everything. 

“Not sleepy,” Ellie corrected her own grammar and opened up the drawers to the dresser that were still empty, standing on her tiptoes to see inside the top ones. 

“How about you just lay down for a little while,” Maria finished making the bed, noticing that the girl was looking at the pattern of the sheets, “I’ll come to check in 30 minutes and if you’re still awake you can come out to the living room with me.”

The woman didn't know if it was the allure of the sheets or the promise that she would come back, but something clicked with the girl and she nodded. She had made it most of the way into the bed before turning abruptly and staring at Maria. 

“Ria,” she said very seriously. 

“Yes?” The woman felt her anxiety increase at the unknown. 

“Light,” the girl looked around the room. 

The brunette looked around the room, it was fairly light in the afternoon sun, maybe it was too light for the girl? But then she looked at the girl's empty hands and understood. 

“I bet Rogers would have put it somewhere safe for you,” a bet that paid off as she opened the small nightstand, “right here.  Safe .”

The child took it in her hands before laying back down and clicking it a few times. G oing to have to buy more of those . 

“You try and sleep, I’ll be right in the other room and will come to check on you in 30 minutes,” she sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Ellie ran her fingers down the course texture of the flashlight. 

Maria brushed her hand over the girl's face before walking out of the room and closing the door. Steve had made his way into the living room and smiled as the Commander met him on the couch. 

“Some articles say that 5 is too old to nap, some say that they are great for brain development, and some say that Maria Hill is way out of her element,” she tilted her head back. 

“I think it’s normal for any parent-”

“I’m not her parent, I’m just looking after her right now,” just like in the supermarket the day before, she corrected the statement. Not really sure why, but she felt the need to. Just like she and Natasha were just friends, she was just a temporary guardian. There was a difference.  

“Well, I think that the feelings you’re having are normal. I would have no idea what to do with a kid,” he concluded, “but I think you’re doing a great job.”

“I’m trying,” she closed her eyes. 

“That’s all that she needs, Ria.” 

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments until the brunette looked over at the man next to her, “We’re going to try out daycare tomorrow.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for any teleporting kids,” he chuckled, “is that how it works, she can just teleport wherever?”

“We don’t know yet, she’s never gone very far but I’m sure I’ll have 100 emails from researchers tomorrow asking to see how it works,” Maria sighed. It was a headache waiting to happen. 

“And they know about it at the Center?”

“Yeah, but I’m going to tell them again tomorrow when I take her,” she worried about the whole situation. 

“It will be okay,” the man answered as if he could read her mind, “better it happens at a SHIELD facility than some civilian daycare.”

Maria hummed in agreement, “I think it’s going to be another learning curve. She eyes kids like she's ready to kill them at the drop of a dime. Probably because she was actually trained to kill kids at a drop of a dime. God, I need to talk to Tasha.”  

“It will be okay, she’s little Ria. They can handle it, if that can’t you can. Plus kids aren’t out of school yet so I bet there won't be too many for her to try and fight,” he made good points, “but I would still talk to Natasha, she should be back sometime soon.”

That was news to Maria who pretended not to feel the flutter in her chest, “good, can't let her take too much time off after saving the world.”

“Sure,” the man chuckled and went to stand up, “remember what I said earlier. Sure we’re friends but we’re also roommates and I can tell you there’s no one else who's sneaking out of her room before I leave on my run in the morning.”

Once again the brunette tried to ignore how that made her feel, “thanks again for your help today.”

“You’re welcome, she’s a good kid, Hill. You’re doing a good job,” the blonde went to open the door but turned around at the sound of a voice. 

“Steve,” there was a little voice followed by little steps.

“Hi kid,” he crouched down to be at eye level with the girl. 

“Missing,” she glanced at Maria and the man in the same way she had the night before when her flashlight died. The woman waited to see what she was going to produce. 

“Missing?” Steve questioned before also looking at Maria who waited patiently, knowing something would emerge from the child. 

“Um, yes,” the girl sighed and showed her left hand. 

At some point, probably during their initial meeting if Maria had to guess, the girl had swiped a large screwdriver from Captain America’s tool bag. At first, she wanted to reprimand the child not only because it was a dangerous item to carry around, but because it wasn’t hers. But she thought about it further, the girl had brought it back and clearly looked upset with herself. 

“Oh, missing,” he stuck out his hand and took the tool, “well thank you for bringing it back to me, sweetheart.” 

Ellie nodded and stuck out her index finger to the man, a move that confused Maria but seemed to make perfect sense to Steve who smiled and gave her a thumbs up back. 

“Thanks for all your help, Steve,” she winced, “I’ll text you.”

“My pleasure. Bye Ellie, bye Ria,” he let himself out of the apartment and Maria made sure to lock the door behind him. 

“Back to your room,” she motioned with her head, following the girl as they went back into the child's space. 

The girl got back into the bed, continuing to advert eye contact the whole time. 

“Want to tell me why you took the screwdriver?”

“Like it,” the girl laid her head on the pillow. 

“We can get you your own tools if you want, ones that aren’t sharp,” Maria felt like kid tools might be in her budget if she postponed buying new workout shoes, ones that weren’t the awful SHIELD-issued ones. 

The girl shook her head and Maria waited to see how honest the girl would be. 

“Want sharp,” the girl finally met the woman's eyes. 

“How come?” she knew the answer even as the child hesitated. 

“Safe,” Ellie said quietly. 

“How about you finish your nap and we talk about this some more when you wake up?” Maria tried to buy more time. 

“Okay,” the girl reached out and grabbed her flashlight before sliding back into her spot on the bed. 

She tucked the girl in before leaving, closing the door quietly. 

The apartment filled with the sounds of the city as Maria opened the windows in the living room, letting in the warm spring air. She leaned against the newly placed desk and basked in the sunshine that reached her face. 

She straightened up the files that had been displaced in the move and plugged everything in before sitting back in her office chair and taking in the new view. If she was being honest, it was a much better spot than she had realized. The nook offered just enough privacy without her being secluded from the rest of the room. If Ellie was anywhere other than in her room, Maria could keep an eye on her while still being able to work.

The clock showed that it was just after 1pm, she would go and check on the child in 25 minutes which left her with enough time to call the other Russian in her life. 

Maria: Thanks for Steve.

Nat: He was probably just moping around the apartment.

Nat: ur welcome. 

Maria: Got 5 minutes? 

Nat: all it takes is 5 minutes now ;)

Nat: yes. 

The brunette rolled her eyes and scrolled over the apps on her phone until she selected the video chat option. The phone trilled once, twice, three times before Natasha answered. 

The first thing Maria noticed was how tired the woman on the screen looked. Battle worn over what most people would assume was from the fight in New York. But not Hill. No, she knew that the battle the redhead was facing was coming from an internal struggle. 

“Hey,” her voice, raspy as always, seemed distant.

“Hey yourself,” she repositioned her phone to try and get a better look at the woman on the screen without making it too obvious.

“Trying to check me out, Ria?” Natasha responded with a smile that didn’t quite make it to her eyes. 

“In your dreams, Romanoff,” Maria pushed it off.

“Dreams or memories? They get a little mixed up at this point when it comes to you,” there was a heaviness to the sentence that settled deep in the brunette's stomach. 

“As much as I would love to have that conversation right now, there are more serious topics that we should probably talk about first. Three things actually,” Maria checked the clock as a reminder to stay on task. 

“Always the mood killer,” Natasha responded, scrunchie in mouth as she used both hands to gather the curls that framed her face and pulled them into a bun high on top of her head. 

“Trust me,” she sighed, “I know.”

Maria sat for a beat too long to watch as thin fingers rearranged the mess of red curls with practiced ease until the Russian was the picture of messy beauty. 

“Sooooo,” a perfect eyebrow arched, the corner of her mouth quirking up into a smirk, “you have something serious for me?”   

“Right,” the Commander cleared her throat,  get it together Hill , “I’m going to need you and Barton to make a guest appearance at the Triskelion in the next month to make sure we have your summer schedules. And if you could please ask Laura about any important dates this time?”

“Yeah she was  not  pleased last year,” the Russian shook her head remorsefully, “in our defense we both thought Father’s Day was in the fall.” 

“Right, well this year if I could get a schedule that doesn’t piss off one of my friends, that would be wonderful,” the blue-eyed woman responded.

“Got it.”

“I also know that we had talked about…” Maria paused, unsure how to phrase it, “previous employers.”

“Employers is a funny way of putting it, but go ahead,” the Russian muttered.

“Well previous abusers sounded right but they were more than that and previous cult leaders wasn’t right either. Maybe-”

“Ria.” 

“Sorry. I know that we talked about looking into them but I need you to know that right now, this isn’t SHIELD sanctioned. Until we have damning proof, evidence that is more than a 5-year-old found on the street, it’s going to be off the record only,” Maria looked into green eyes that seemed to be cool now, bordering on glossy. 

“I know,” the eyes flickered away from the screen, she was starting to close off “I prefer it to stay that way.”

“Listen I can help but I need-”

“Later,” Natasha breathed out, “when I get you my summer schedule.”

“Okay,” the conversation was now over because Maria had gone by the books as usual.

“You said you had three things,” the redhead promoted, which surprised the woman on the other side of the screen.

“The third thing isn’t really important,” it was but she knew she was pushing her luck by bringing up something that was Red Room adjacent.

“What is it?” Natasha looked as if she had already checked out of the conversation.

“Ellie,” Maria waited.

“Need a ‘how to raise your ex-child-assassin” handbook?” Green eyes looked lazily at the screen. 

“Kind of,” the brunette let out a humorless laugh. 

What she actually wanted to say was  “I’m in over my head, and that I don’t know what I’m doing. I miss my best friend, and I miss you even more. I feel like I’m going to turn into a drunk like my dad and fuck this kid up. I don't know anything about 5-year-olds, I don’t know how to get her to trust me and I don’t want to let her go. I want her to be surrounded by love but I don’t know how to love. I don’t know what I’m doing and I need help .”   

“I guess I just have a few questions,” is what she actually settled on saying.  

“Let me guess, a list?” the Russian smiled, this time a touch of life glinted in her eyes. 

“You know me so well.”

“Send it over and I’ll give it a look but no promises,” Natasha shrugged, “anything else?”

Maria shook her head, letting the woman end the conversation. 

“Okay, I’ll see you at work at some point,” green eyes fell back to flat. 

“Okay, see you soon Tasha.”

“okaybye.”  

She sat in silence for a moment, trying to piece together the conversation, unsure of how she felt about it. Feelings could be dealt with later, as for now, she had 15 minutes before she would check on the girl, the girl she had made a list about. 

The Commander unlocked her computer, checked the time, and pulled up the list of questions she had created. Some questions were more geared towards child psychologists, ones that were meant for Laura or other parents (Maria had heard about a SHIELD parent group that met on Thursdays she was saving some questions for), but the last and longest section was really for Natasha.  

Her hope was that answers could lead to more trust and a better understanding of the girl for whoever ended up taking care of her. More information was always beneficial to Maria Hill, the woman who had a plan, a backup plan, and three backup backup plans. She reminded herself of this as she sent the email. 

To: [email protected]

Subject: No pressure

Message: 

Seriously, no pressure at all but if you’re bored on a flight sometime, any answers you have are more than what I have. 

-Hill

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Her thirty minutes were up as she walked towards Ellie’s room, the sounds of the city still filled the space and Maria found herself thankful that the child was a heavy sleeper. As she suspected, the child was sleeping as she opened the door. 

Her wild hair was the only thing visible from under the blanket cocoon she had created. The length made it so her hair cascaded down the side of the mattress and Maria wondered if the girl liked having long hair. The longer she thought about it, the more she realized the Little bear had probably never been asked. There were probably a lot of things that the child had never been asked. 

The day continued on, Maria worked on checking in with the ground crew who were still working on cleaning up New York. She sent an email to Pepper to see if she needed more teams to help the area around the tower that had taken the biggest hit. She tried to not check her phone to see if Natasha had sent her anything (failed and checked twice). All before Ellie woke up and looked around for Maria. 

“Over here,” the woman called from her desk that the girl eyed, “I know, it changed from where it was before.”

Little feet got closer until they were standing in front of the windows next to the desk that were still open, letting in a cooler breeze. The child reached her tiptoes and peered over the side then looked back at Maria. 

“Are there people and cars down there?” it was late afternoon on a beautiful day, there was no way the street was empty. 

“Yes.”

“Do you want a snack?” Maria asked.

“Yes.” 

The Commander got up and started cutting up apples and thinking about what they would have for dinner. She was certain that she hadn’t had three meals a day like this in years, her body thanked her for the increased nutrition. 

A blue plate was pushed in front of Ellie before Maria started talking, “so tomorrow, I have to go back to work,” her day wasn’t pressing but she didn’t want to wait for a day that was to bring the girl.

The girl readjusted herself on her knees on the chair and blinked at the woman before taking a bite. 

“Which means that you’re going to go hang out at the Center for a little while,” she watched as the girl continued to eat.

“And you,” the girl nodded and took another bite.

“Well no, remember how earlier I said that we would come back here? We will, but I’ll be at work and you’ll be at the center. But I’ll pick you up after work and we’ll come here again,” Maria tried to explain as the girl tilted her head. 

“Work with you?” she asked. 

“Not this time, I have to go to work and you’ll go to the center and stay for a little while without me. Which is why we should probably come up with a few rules-” the brunette started as she watched the girl close her eyes tightly. 

Her heart sank as she called out the child's name, no idea where she could be. 

“Ellie? Ellie, honey, I need you to come out,” she yelled into the apartment, unsure if the child was still in it. 

She looked around the open space before throwing open the door to the child's room, “Ellie? Are you in here?” 

No response. 

Her heart started beating faster as she searched the bathroom where there was no sign of the child. She looked around again, her hands shaking as she opened the door to her own room, pulling out her phone to call Steve and possibly SHIELD emergency response. She checked under her bed and started to dial as she opened the closet door.

“Ellie..” she dropped to her knees in front of the girl who had shoved herself in the small space behind Maria’s old west point sweaters. 

“No rule,” the girl choked out, her eyes trailing tears. 

“Ellie you can’t just- okay listen, you and I are going to have a talk right now, no one is in trouble but we need to talk,” the Deputy Director needed more order than what was currently happening with a child in her care. 

“No trouble?” Ellie narrowed her eyes.  

“No trouble,” Maria sat down fully outside of the closet and leaned her head back against the wall, “but we need to talk and I need you to listen okay?”

“Okay,” the girl remembered one of the first things Maria had taught her. 

“When you teleport I don’t know where you go, do you know where you go?” 

“Little.”

“You know a little bit where you’re going to go?” The brunette asked. 

“Have to be there and think… hard hard but only there before and then… tired,” the girl played with the hem of her shirt, clearly unable to communicate exactly what she meant. 

“Hang on,” Maria had an idea and got up. 

She returned from her desk with a few pieces of paper and a pencil. They needed to figure this out before the child was back at the Center. 

“Okay, how about you draw what happens in your head and show me that way?” she handed the items over to the child who placed them on the floor next to her. 

To her credit, the picture that was emerging started to make sense even if the drawings were jumbled. After a few more minutes the girl paused and slid the paper over to Maria. 

A stick figure was on the far end of the paper with a word written in Russian on top.

“Elizaveta,” Ellie pointed to her chest and then the stick figure. 

“Looks just like you,” the blue-eyed woman didn't miss the blush that hit the child's cheeks at the praise, “and what are these?”   

“Think hard, places before,” the girl pointed to the four squares next to the stick figure. 

The first box had a bed in it with a long line next to it, “what’s this?”

Ellie pointed to her nose and made a face, the first box was the medbay from the Helicarrier where she had gotten the feeding tube. Maria’s brain started to spin out at the thought of the girl teleporting back to the medbay,  what if there was someone in there? What if that person was dangerous? Could she teleport to a moving object ? 

“Okay,” she tried to calm herself and took the pencil writing ‘Helicarrier’ above the first box, “this is the Helicarrier. What about this one?”

The second box was filled with smaller boxes and was colored in, mostly dark.

“Here,” the child pointed to where she was sitting.

“Okay, closet, got it,” Maria once again labeled it, “and this one?”

The last box had large boxes with circles under them, if she had to guess they were supposed to be cars. 

“Parking lot,” Ellie had learned the name but it still didn’t explain which one. 

Maria wrote ‘Parking lot’ across the top of the last box, “just these three places you can go?”

Brown curls fell as she shook her head, “can go other places been to but… harder and so tired.” 

“Okay, thank you very much for explaining this,” the woman studied the picture and once again needed to calm her mind before speaking, “so these three places are the easiest to go?”

The girl nodded, big green eyes looking at the picture and then at the new piece of paper that was in Maria’s hand. 

“No one is in trouble but we’re going to make some rules before we go tomorrow,” she tried to keep her voice even as she wrote “RULES” on top of the paper, “now I know you probably can’t read English very well yet so we’re going to talk about them and I’ll write them down to remember them, okay?”

The smallest “okay,” left Ellie’s lips. 

“Rule one is for me,” Maria spoke and the child’s eyes went wide, “number one rule is that I will keep you safe, okay?”

She knew, she knew that was what the child craved more than anything from the fear in her eyes at any loud noise, to the screwdriver, to how she was raised. she knew that all the girl wanted was a safe place. 

“Okay,” this time the word was louder. 

“Rule number two, you only teleport if you think you’re about to get hurt, you do not teleport unless you absolutely have to okay?” 

Maria wrote it down and stared at the girl who furrowed her brows, “okay.”

“Rule two A, you only ever teleport to this spot,” the woman circled the second picture, “Ellie when do you teleport?”

“When about to get hurt,” the girl was entranced by the writing, eyes wide. 

“And where do you teleport to?” 

She put one tiny finger on the second picture. 

“Where is that?” Maria needed the girl to understand. 

Another finger pressed into the floor where they were sitting. 

“Great job little one, that’s right,” she nodded, satisfied that the child understood what was being asked of her. 

“Rule three, we do not yell when we are angry. I don’t yell at you, and you don’t yell at me, okay?” this one was more for Maria to keep herself in check,  she would not be her father . 

“Okay, no yell.”

“Yep, no yelling. Rule four, we don’t lie to each other,” the woman wasn’t positive if this was a problem with the girl, but had read it in a parenting guide that focused on rules for children, “okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay and one more rule, five rules for a five-year-old seems good,” she started writing, “we treat people and things with respect. We do not hurt people and we do not hurt things, okay?” 

The Commander wrote down the fifth rule and waited for the girl who still hadn’t responded. 

“What if they hurt?”

“If they hurt you, find an adult and if you can't, where do you go?” This was the real test to see how much the child had retained. 

“ Home ,” the girl pointed to the floor. 

The word caused Maria to falter as she nodded, “that’s right, Ellie. You come here, you come home.”

She looked at the girl who was very pleased with herself, unaware of how much she just changed about the entire dynamic between the two of them. 

Chapter Text

The next morning, Maria’s alarm went off bright and early. It was the first time in the last few days that she hadn’t woken up to Ellie poking her and she wondered if the girl was exploring her new room or still asleep. 

She made her bed and laid out the button-up and slacks she had ironed the night before along with a T-shirt and pair of shorts for Ellie. They had decided her white shirt with the planets labeled went well with her blue shorts. But now that Maria was looking at the selection she noticed something she hadn’t the night before. 

Her white shirt and blue slacks were the professional, adult version of the child outfit. They would be matching for the girl's first day and the Commander's first day back.  

She smiled to herself and padded into the kitchen where she started her coffee and made two bowls of oatmeal. They had 45 minutes to get out of the apartment which seemed like enough time in theory, but as the woman tried to wake the child, she realized she may have been wrong. 

“Ellie girl, it’s time to wake up,” she sat on the side of the girl's bed and peeled back the layers of blankets that engulfed the girl. 

The child sat up and rubbed her eyes, that’s when Maria realized another thing she may have been wrong about. It seemed that the shower the night before was taken too late and so the girl went to bed with damp hair, hair that now stuck in all angles as the child yawned and went to lay back down. 

“Come on, little bear, it’s breakfast time,” Maria froze as the girl leaned against her. 

They sat like that for a moment longer before the woman wrapped her arms around the girl who melted into her side from exhaustion. She lifted them both up and carried the girl to her spot at the island. 

“Go ahead and eat,” she pushed the bowl in front of the child who blinked slowly. 

Maria grabbed her own lunch box along with an old SHIELD-issued one for the girl. It seemed even Phil forgot things sometimes as the Deputy Director filled both boxes with leftovers and snacks for the day. 

It turns out an hour was actually needed for the two of them to be ready for the day. Maria ran over her mental checklist: breakfast, hair/teeth brushed, medication, dressed, lunch, tablet, backpack, socks, and shoes. She didn't think she had missed anything but noticed the girl fidgeting around, clearly nervous for the day. 

“You’re going to have so much fun, you’re going to do great,” Maria smiled and looked at the miniature version of herself. 

Ellie traced Saturn on her shirt and looked up at the woman in front of her, “Do not get scared.  I am strong, not scared. You fear, you die. I am strong. I do not fear. ”

“Hey hey, it’s okay to be scared,” Maria smoothed out the curls that framed the girl's face, “you are brave but you can be scared. How about this,”

The brunette walked away for a moment before reemerging with the flashlight which immediately changed the girl's mood. 

“You can take this with you but you have to bring it back,” she was careful to put it in the girl's hands. Hands started to run over the textured metal of the light immediately. 

Maria watched as the girl smiled and then realized she had missed one thing, a first-day picture. She had no one to send it to but it was something she had done with her Abuela growing up and she wanted Ellie to have a picture to remember this day. 

“We have one more thing to do before we leave,” Maria pulled out her phone, “we take a picture of how ready you look.”

The child seemed unsure as she shifted from one foot to the other before straightening up. 

“1.. 2,3” Maria snapped a few pictures and smiled, “you look great, kid.” 

“And you?” the child stuck out her hand for the camera. 

“How about together?”

It was the right question because the girl nodded and stood on her tiptoes next to Maria who propped the phone up on the countertop. The phone took a burst of pictures that the two of them looked at together. 

It was a little too dark (the sun had barely come up and illuminated the living room), Ellie’s knuckles were white (from holding the flashlight so tightly), both of them looked nervous (because they were), and the whole thing was slightly lopsided. It was perfect.

“Ready?” She looked down at the girl who had one hand on her backpack strap and the other on the light. 

“Okay.”

The two of them made their way downstairs, passing by the desk attendant who wished them a good day, and into the parking garage where Ellie reached for Maria’s hand without prompt. The day was already warming up and the brunette was slightly envious of the child’s shorts as she buckled her into the car seat. 

Music from the woman’s phone played quietly in the background as they made the commute to work. Maria continuously glanced into the rearview mirror at the child who clicked the flashlight every once in a while. 

“Can you name all of the planets in English?” it was one of the reasons she had suggested the shirt, it gave the child something to focus on. 

“Um. Yes,” the girl looked down, “Sun, Murcrrry, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupietur, um Sat-ern, Uranus, Neptune.”

The brunette nodded as she followed along with the girl, noting the accent that crept into her voice when she spoke for more than a word or two.

“This does not have, but in books from were used to live, pluto-” the girl was tracing her finger on the empty spot after Neptune before she was cut off. 

“Good morning Commander Hill,” the guard at the front gate saluted and looked at her badge before glancing into the backseat at the child who huffed at the interruption. He stared for a moment longer, a moment too long. 

“Something I can help you with?” The Deputy Director pulled his attention back. 

“No, sorry ma’am. Have a good rest of your day,” he stood up straight and opened the gate for her. 

“Pluto was a planet when I was your age,” Maria looked into the rearview mirror as she rolled up her window and drove towards the parking garage. 

“Here?” Ellie pointed at the spot.

“Yep, right after Neptune,” she pulled into the parking structure and in the spot next to her actual car. A car that was not made to have little girls riding in the back of it. 

SHIELD was a 24-hour organization, no matter what time of day, there would be someone around. However, most employees from cafeteria workers to agents started their day early, a fact that Maria was reminded of as she opened her door and heard the bustle of people around her. 

“Here we go,” she took one last breath and opened the door to the backseat, “there’s going to be a lot of people so just hold on to my hand. If you want me to pick you up, squeeze it twice, okay?”

“Okay,” the girl looked up, anxiety blanketing her face even as she tried to school her features. Apparently, she was still too young for her to have properly mastered that skill in the Red Room. 

The woman helped the child out and made sure both her backpack strap and flashlight were securely in hand before they joined the crowd of people making their way into the Triskelion. At first, no one noted the child that walked next to the woman, not used to looking down. That changed as they waited in line for the elevator. 

“Morning Comm- oh hello!” One of the agents who used to work under Maria spotted Ellie who took a step to hide behind the woman's leg.  

“Agent Su, how's intel treating you?” she pulled the attention away from the girl. 

“It’s good, I just passed my fieldwork test so I should be out there soon. Thanks again for the reference,” the woman smiled and turned her head to get another glimpse of the child. 

“You’re welcome, have a good one,” Maria pulled the girl with her into the somewhat full elevator and pressed the button to the Children’s Center. 

“Hill,” another handler greeted, looking at the child who stood in front of the woman. 

“Morning,” she smoothed the hair on the girl's head and remained facing forward. 

The ding of the floor level brought a much quieter area that both woman and child were thankful for. They walked out, Ellie turning around to watch the doors close which got a reaction from the occupants, and stood in the hallway that led to the Center. 

The child scanned the hallway noticing there was only one way in and one way out. She looked at Maria and then back to her surroundings, on the right side there was a bulletin board of what was happening in the Center. On the left side, there was a large window that looked into a section of the Center that held a long table with chairs that looked out of the window and into the hallway. 

Little fingers clicked the flashlight on and off, on and off, on and off before Maria rested her hand on the child. She crouched down to eye level with the girl who was taking quick breaths. 

“You’re okay,” she placed her hands on either side of the girl's face, trying to keep the anxiety at bay, “try and follow what I do, okay?”

“O- kay,” the response came out broken between breaths. 

“Breathe in nice and slow for 4 counts okay? One…two…three…four… now hold it and let it out nice and slow for one…two…three…four… five,” Maria watched as the girl followed her instructions and her own breath, “one more time, one…two…three…four… hold it, now out for one…two…three…four… five. Good job, little one.”

The child looked somewhat calmer as she continued to hold the flashlight tight. 

“What’s rule number one?” the Commander looked her in the eyes. 

Ellie parted her lips and swallowed, “Ria keep me safe.”

“That’s right, I keep Ellie safe,” the blue-eyed woman nodded, “I wouldn’t send you to the Center if I didn’t think it was really safe.”

“You’re going to go so good today, I already know it,” Maria brushed her thumb over Ellie’s cheek, “and if not, if you absolutely cannot stay here, you go up to an adult and tell them to call me, okay? I’m always just going to be one phone call away.”

The girl nodded and looked at the window, noticing some of the other kids who were now visible through it. She tensed at the sight and Maria let out a breath, trying to keep her own anxiety down. 

“You can do this, I believe in you,” the woman stood up and took the child’s hand, leading them both into the entrance of the space. 

“Hey there!” Grace was standing behind the front desk just as she was the first time Maria had met her, “today’s the day, huh?”

“Today’s the day and we’re a little nervous about it,” the woman looked down at the girl who held on tightly to her hand. 

“That’s okay, we can take it easy today,” the blonde smiled at the girl, “we don’t have too many friends coming in today so you can just hang out. I’ll just need you to fill this out really quickly while I take Ellie to our backpack station!” 

She handed the Commander a clipboard with an intake form (the woman did love a good form) and opened up the half door that separated the front desk area from the rest of the Center. Ellie tightened her grip.

“Maybe you can tell Ms. Grace about your shirt?” Maria asked the girl who continued to stare with scared eyes until the woman crouched down once more, “Remember what I said, if you need me, you call me. You can do this, Little Bear.”

Ellie stuck her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded, slowly releasing her grip until she stood alone and followed the woman behind the half door.    

The Commander let out a long breath and started filling out the very detailed form.

First name: Elizaveta Middle Name: N/A Last Name: N/A Alies: Ellie

Off to a great start 

Allergies: Unknown Medical information: chlorpromazine (metabolism stabilizer)  

Killin it Hill 

The woman worked her way through the rest of the form, putting teleportation under “anything else we should know about your child” and leaving both “emergency contact” numbers blank after hers. 

“How’s it going?” Grace had returned to her position behind the desk.

“How much of this can be left blank?” Maria stepped aside as a parent checked in their child. 

The blonde laughed and leaned over the counter to get a better look at the form, “Ideally? None. But you’re special,” she blushed, “and we have most of her information in the system already.” 

“So then it’s okay that I’ve only filled out like 10% of this?” The Commander wondered how far ‘Special” would get her. 

“Let me see,” Grace flipped the form around and went over what Maria had written, “this is kind of adorable.”

The brunette had no idea what she was referring to and squinted at the paper. 

“You don’t have her last name written down-” the blonde started.

“We don’t know it,” Maria interjected.

“Butttt you have a full paragraph for both her likes and dislikes,” the woman continued to smile as she greeted another family that brought two little girls in matching jackets. 

“Well that’s the easy stuff,” the blue-eyed woman checked her watch. She had a meeting in an hour but needed to get work done before then. 

“You’d be surprised,” she shrugged, “no emergency contact? Not a significant other or…”

“Can I get back to you on that? I need to make a few calls,” she had no idea who she was going to write down and needed time to think. 

“Sure, but really this is the one section that we need filled out, no matter how special you are.”

“Got it, I have to run but if anything comes up give me a call,” the woman grabbed a card from her wallet, “this is my office number, if I don’t answer, here is my cell,” she wrote it down on the back of the card and handed it to Grace, “I told her if she needs me she can go to an adult and they will know to call me.”

The blonde smiled and took the card, “I’ll let everyone else know.”

“Thank you, she has videos she likes to watch on her tablet, snacks in her bag, and a change of clothes, she’ll talk about space and might be mean to other kids but we talked about it and made rules so hopefully that isn’t a problem, she won't make eye contact but knows to say ’okay’ if she understands something, if not she does this thing where she tilts her head, oh and if she squeezes her eyes tight call me right away because it’s how she tel-”

“Maria,” Grace cut her off, “she’s going to be okay. If not, we'll call you.”

“Sorry, she’s just-”

“Different and special like her mom, I get it. We take care of kids for a living, we got it,” the woman softened her smile at Maria, “Now go save the world or whatever it is you do as Deputy Director.”

“Thank you,” she exhaled and turned to exit the space.

She kept her head facing forward as she walked through the hallway until she got to the other side of the large window. From where she stood she could see the back corner of the little kid space where one of the workers was reading a book to a handful of children who all sat on a rug. All but one child. Ellie sat just a little too far away with her back pressed against a bookshelf and her hands balled into fists with the left clutched around her flashlight. 

It took everything in Maria not to walk back in and check the girl out of the space for the day, s he could push her meetings or even have the girl sit in on a few of them - no, the child needed to learn how to socialize and Maria needed to learn how to trust the Center. She was one of the people who signed off on the space, but when it came to sending Ellie she had a hard time remembering exactly how secure the area was. 

The elevator dinged as a father brought his kid into the hallway, Maria took it as her cue to leave and trust that the girl would be safe.  

Her office was just as she had left it nearly 2 weeks before, full of organized chaos. There was, however, a new stack of papers on the corner of her desk that she picked up while her computer turned on. She wasn’t surprised as she looked over each letter addressed to her by various people. All had one goal: getting their testing equipment on Ellie. 

The stack was placed back exactly where she found it. There was no way she would let any of these people near the girl, no matter how promising their said research was. She was in the process of picking the papers up to recycle them when her computer dinged to life. 

Her home screen looked different as she opened her email, noticing how that looked different too, sleeker, more intuitive. Nearly a full minute passed by before she remembered the unasked-for (but useful, if she was behind honest) update to their tech courtesy of Stark. The design may have been better, but it didn't hide the fact that she had more emails in her inbox than ever before. She had gone through all of the important ones over the weekend, but now she needed to work on the details. A majority of them were handled by other, lower-level, members of her team but a handful of them were sent from the Director himself. 

She responded back to the easy emails first.  No, you can’t add more lanes to the firing range just because the first one has a weird smell to it. Yes, your maternity leave is approved, delegate all work to your team and second in command. Work with IT on this. Work with the expense department on that. Work with a therapist for.. all of this .  

The notification on her computer alerted her 45 minutes later that she had an upcoming meeting. She looked at the planner next to her computer to see who it was with, hesitating as she flipped to the correct date. The most recent date showed not only the events of the day she left for the Helicarrier but also the information she had been looking up: Russian, coat sale, factory? Warehouse? Small child. 

The business of the morning had pulled her away from the ever-consuming thought of Ellie for just long enough, but now as she was reminded of how long ago she had searched for the child, anxiety built. She opened the top drawer of her desk and popped a half piece of gum in her mouth before flipping her planner to the correct date. 

Her 9am appointment was with research and development who wanted to talk to her about new protective equipment that agents could wear in their suits. Or at least she was pretty sure that’s what they wanted to talk to her about when they made the meeting a month prior.  

She continued to chew the gum in earnest as she made her way down to another section of the triskelion, thinking about what Ellie was doing and how she was feeling the whole time. The thoughts continued until she was walking into one of the fortified labs. 

“Deputy Director,” the head of the department smiled and adjusted his glasses. 

“Davis, how are you?” she shook his hand and looked around at the other members who all straightened up as she walked into the lab. 

“I’m doing well, ma’am,” he guided her to another area where a mockup of the new uniform was laid out on the table. 

“After the new software update, we were able to model a lot of these pieces based directly on the agents who wear them,” the scientist explained, holding up one of the uniforms, “the tech helped us scan the med bay records for the most common areas of injury, and we used that along with body cam footage to see movements that can't be restricted.”

For the second time that day, the Commander was, unfortunately, grateful for the update to the system from Stark. This type of equipment would no doubt keep agents safer while they were in the field.   

“And they can be customized?” a certain duo who hated anything restrictive came to the Deputy Directors' mind. 

“They are based on agent records of body measurements to create a custom fit. They can be customized down to the stitching for our more particular agents,” the man smiled and held up the suit, “this one was created with measurements for you, we wanted to try and sell you on it first.”

She ran the material through her fingers, it felt nearly identical to the tac suit she wore most days other than the area over where her ribs and knees would sit. Davis noticed her feel the new additions. 

“Those are where you take the most hits, they are triple reinforced rather than single and double over less common injury points,” he pointed to the shoulder section which felt thinner, “but the whole thing has added protection.”

“The whole thing?” The rest of the suit felt normal to her.

“Yeah, we came up with a flexible polymer that allows it to act as a fabric material until there is direct pressure,” he flicked a section of the suit that went rigid, “then it stiffens to lessen the hit.”

“How much?” the price mattered but only so much, this would save lives.

“As with everything, the more customizable a piece is, the higher the price ma’am,” he looked around the room, “we're thinking a 10-15% increase from current suits.”

“Let me try this one out this week, and if I give the go-ahead, send a quote for my team and Coulson’s team to accounting,” the brunette continued to look at the suit, noticing the man shifting nervously on his feet. 

“We can also make them… in smaller sizes if needed.”

“I’ll keep that in mind with my smaller agents?” she wasn’t sure where this was going. 

“In child sizes ma’am,” he lowered his voice, “if you wanted to bring the girl from the God down here sometime…” 

“The child in my care will not go through testing just because you want information on her, Davis” her jaw clenched on the piece of gum.

“No, no I’m sure that you’re getting enough requests on that front,” he spoke quickly, “but there’s word that she will be brought on certain missions and I just thought you might want to have a uniform-”

“I assure you, she will not be going on any missions. She is a child, she is not a weapon,” the Commander leveled the man with a gaze. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” she turned on her heel and made her way out of the lab, angry at the thought of the conversation.

She continued towards the elevators until she passed the largest lab in the building which was ironic because it was the one used by the least amount of people. Two.

“Fitzsimmons?” her knocking cut through the music that was being played on the other side of the door until it opened. 

“Maria! How are you? Come in,” Jemma Simmons opened the door and turned the volume down on the speaker. 

“Hi Jemma,” the Commander walked into the space, waving at the only other occupant, “Hi Leo.”

“Ah, Deputy Director, to what do we have the pleasure,” he smiled and walked over to where she and Jemma were standing. 

“I need you two to help me so I have an actual excuse to use on all other scientists that keep pestering me,” she walked up to the large table in the middle of the room and took a seat. 

The two scientists shared a look and then a smile and sat down at the table opposite Maria.  

“Does this mean we get to know about the child from the God?” Fitz asked with a smile that soon turned into a wince as the woman next to him jabbed her pen in his side.  

“Sorry,” Simmons apologized.

“Word moves fast,” Maria exhaled, “her name is Elizaveta not the ‘Child from the God’” 

“What can we do for you and Elizaveta?” the scientist tried again, looking much more apologetic. 

“I have about 60 requests on my desk from people all over the world that want to test on her and while I’d tell them to fuck off, I know SHIELD will get involved and claim that there needs to be some form of standardized testing,” she thought about the series of tests all of the Avengers and enhanced agents went through, “I figured she would be the most comfortable in a location that’s familiar to her.”

“We would love to help,” the young woman smiled.

“We could have her come check out the space before we do it too,” Fitz was writing on the table they were sitting at that suddenly turned into a computer screen, “then run her through everything, have her teleport a little, read our minds to get a base level of that, I heard she can also shoot lasers so we might have to go to the back room for that.”

He continued to write, Maria let him for a while longer before breaking it to him that she didn’t read minds (that she knew of) and for sure did not shoot laser beams. 

“So just teleportation?” he sounded a little letdown.

“Afraid that's it, Leo,” the Commander shook her head in amusement. 

“Well that should be simple enough, we could record everything and maybe run her through a few scans and a blood draw,” Jemma looked over to Fitz who was writing everything she said down, “maybe an hour or two in total?”

“I’ll find time on my calendar,” the Deputy Director pulled out her phone and searched for an open date, “But let me make one thing abundantly clear.”

She waited for both scientists to look up and give their full attention before she continued. 

“This information will be treated as confidential, I am trusting you two, and only you two, on this. When I bring her in the lab will be empty, and you will encrypt all information, I don’t want anyone knowing if a single hair on her head is out of place. Do I make myself clear?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” the two said in unison. 

“She’s a 5-year-old girl who doesn’t trust anyone, I am only bringing her here because if I don’t the requests will continue and the last thing I need is Fury involved in any of this. I’m trusting you two with a child who is in my care, do not take that lightly.”

There had only ever been a handful of times where she spoke to FitzSimmons as seriously as she was now and hoped that they would understand the gravity of this situation. 

Maria said her goodbyes and made her way back to her office where she shoved her new tac suit into her bag and sat down at her desk. She continued answering emails and reviewing plans for upcoming missions. The handler who had taken over Phil’s team was an older man who already had a team of his own. She worked with him to try and break up the workload and had just gotten to how they would assign missions to Natasha when her office phone rang. 

“This is Hill,” she held the phone between her ear and shoulder.

“Hi, Deputy Director,” Grace's voice cut through, causing Maria to stop all over work. 

“Hi Grace, everything okay?” She asked, trying to keep her voice neutral. 

“We’re having a little bit of a hard time with our friend Ellie,” clearly the child was in front of the woman who tried to sound as positive as possible, “we don’t want to get out from behind our cubby it looks like.” 

“Sorry Grace, will you put her on the phone?”

Maria waited until the rustling sound stopped and she could hear the exhale of Ellie. 

“Hi kid, you okay?” she asked and waited for a reply that didn’t come, “want me to come get you?”

“Yes,” the small voice spoke up. 

“Okay, you stay put and I’ll be there in 5 minutes,” the woman locked her computer and made sure she had her badge, “can you tell Ms. Grace that?”

“Okay,” Ellie spoke into the phone, “5 minutes.”

“I will see you soon,” the Commander said.

True to her word, the woman was at the Center in just about 5 minutes where she could see from the window in the hallway that Ellie was still at her cubby in the backpack station. 

“Hi Deputy Director,” a young man said from behind the front desk as the Commander walked into the space. 

“Hi, here to check Elizaveta out for the day,” she looked to see that Grace was still crouched next to the cubby. 

“Great, just sign out here and let me print your end-of-day report,” the man typed away at the computer as Maria filled in the required information, noticing it was just before noon, “here you are, and now you can go ahead on back and get her.”

“Thanks,” the brunette took the piece of paper and walked through the half door.

The girl popped her head out of the small wooden area as Maria approached, “came?”

“Of course, I told you I’m just a phone call away,” she knelt down so she was eye-level with the girl, “want to get out of here?”

“Yes.”

Maria extended her hand and was shocked at how quickly the girl took it, squeezing it twice. The Commander picked the child up in one smooth motion, noticing that the girl relaxed much faster than she had in the past. 

“Thank you,” she winced at the woman next to her who had just stood up. 

“Of course, there’s always tomorrow,” the blonde smiled back and placed her hand tentatively on the girl's back, “I’ll see you later Ellie.”

The brunette could feel the child go rigid at the unknown touch but continued to keep her chin on Maria’s shoulder. The older woman picked up the child's backpack and kept it in her hand as they walked out of The Center. Grace was right, there was always tomorrow. 

Chapter Text

It was 11:47am when the girl sat down on the couch in the Commander's office. She had successfully made it 4 hours at the Center before having Maria come and get her. 

“Want your lunch?” Maria held up the backpack to the girl who nodded. 

Each piece of the lunch was placed on the small table in front of the couch, it was then rearranged by Ellie who opened the sandwich first and started eating. Maria leaned against her desk and watched until the child side-eyed her. 

“Sorry,” she gave a small smile and sat in her desk chair where she read the end-of-the-day report from The Center. 

Name: Elizaveta
Activities: group reading time, did not engage with crafts, solo reading.
Snack: ate one apple slice after prompting 
Nap: N/a
Items needed: N/a
Parent notes: Elizaveta did not want to engage with peers or teachers.
Reason for early release: 11:43am Approached by a number of children, retreated to backpack station, and would not exit. Signed out early by parent (Maria Hill). 

“How was your day?” she wanted to know from the source. 

“Okay,” Ellie took another bite. 

“What was your favorite part?”

“Read.”

“What did you not like?” Maria watched as the girl put her food down and looked at her from across the desk. 

“Take books because wanted my place,” the child furrowed her brows. 

“Who did?” this certainly wasn’t in the report.

“Blonde sisters.” 

Maria wondered if it was the same blonde sisters from that morning who had worn matching jackets. She was immediately annoyed and wanted to know who their parents were, what division they belonged to, and if she could get them removed. 

“Well thank you for not hitting them and for getting away,” Maria chewed her gum and logged into her computer. 

“Rule 5,” the girl squished a goldfish cracker for emphasis.

“Right, no hurting other people,” the Commander was relieved to find out the rules stuck.

“Or things,” the girl chimed in.

“Or things,” Maria nodded in agreement, “finish up your food, okay?”

“Okay,” the girl continued to eat to the tune of Maria typing away at her computer. 

She continued to work, changing in-person meetings to phone meetings, and making sure that Ellie was still entertained by the items in her bag until it was time to head home (where she would do more work). The girl had been standing at the large window for the last 15 minutes, watching the sun lower in the sky and staring at the people 40 floors down. 

“Whatcha see down there?” Maria spun around in her chair. 

Ellie shrugged, “car, peoples.” 

“Want to go home?” the woman joined the girl at the window and watched as sure enough, people and cars were passing under them. 

“Yes.”

Maria grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder then watched as Ellie secured her own bag, shoving the hair from her face out of the way so she could see the straps. The woman made a mental note to try and wake up earlier to braid it properly the next day, a sinking feeling of inadequacy sat in her stomach. 

“Ready?” she looked at the girl who was holding the backpack straps in her hands. 

“Okay.”

The brunette locked her door and watched as Ellie walked in front of her, careful not to step on any of the tiles that were not white as they made their way down the long corridor. The two of them had only made it a few feet down the mostly quiet hallway before Maria (and Ellie) heard a pair of heavy footsteps behind them. 

“Hill.”

The woman turned around to face the man, “Fury.”

“Ah,” his facial features softened slightly as he caught a glimpse of the girl, “hi there little miss.”

To Ellie’s credit, she didn’t hide completely behind Maria’s leg as she did with other people. She also did not make eye contact as she waved slightly toward the ground. 

“Did you see the email regarding operation 51-8?” the man was back to his usual stoic self.

“I did, I’ll have the response drafted and sent to you by the end of the night,” while she normally would have stayed to finish something like this, Ellie was a child and needed to eat and get ready for bed. 

“See to that,” he gave a curt nod, “have a good night you two.”

“Thank you, sir,” Maria looked down to see the child's reaction to the end of the conversation. 

Ellie took another step closer to the man, used her hand to cover her left eye, and returned the curt nod he had just given, “okay.”

“Ellie-” the Commander was sure her face flushed red as she saw the child mimic the man’s eyepatch and mannerisms. 

But just as she was going to tell the girl that it was rude, a noise erupted deep from the man. Maria had never heard the deep belly laugh from her boss that now echoed down the hall, getting a wince and a smile from the girl to her right.

“Night Hill,” he smirked at the woman, “good night little miss.”

With that he turned, his long coat floating behind him for just a moment. 

“We have to work on social skills, kid,” Maria looked at the girl who stared back, “we can’t make fun of people if they look different.”

“Not make fun,” the child grew serious, “eye is covered so now he feels better because mine covered.” 

“That’s nice of you, but maybe we just talk to him like everyone else,” the woman started walking down the hallway once again. 

“Okay,” the girl continued to hop from white tile to white tile, making sure to look up at her surroundings every few seconds.

There was a dichotomy that made Maria wonder about the girl's previous life. Even though she rarely spoke, the child was kind in the words she chose, but Maria saw how she eyed other children and knew that she could be dangerous, she rearranged things in a very particular way and wanted order, but she also hopped from tile to tile as if she was any typical 5 year old. 

They had made their way to the elevator where Ellie patiently waited for Maria to nod before she pressed the button, a small smile forming as she watched the arrow illuminate. Another action that seemed like any other kid, but the girl’s eyes darted around as they waited, clearly looking for threats and exits just as Natasha’s had when she first defected. 

It was warm outside as they approached the car, Ellie’s curls (which had a mind of their own) became even frizzier in the humidity that hung over the city. The child pulled on the handle of the door, using her whole body to fully get it open, and place her backpack carefully on the seat next to hers. 

“Come on, let me buckle you in,” Maria waited next to the girl who sighed before sitting in the booster seat, “I know but the sooner you do this, the sooner we get home and have dinner.” 

At the promise of dinner the child lifted herself into the car and sat still as Maria adjusted to straps, “Rule one.”

“Ria keeps me safe,” the girl spoke quietly. 

“That’s right, and this is one way to keep you safe,” the woman finished up and looked at her actual car that was still parked next to them. She wondered how long the girl would be in her care, maybe she should look into getting a different car. Just in case Ellie stuck around for a while. 

The two drove home, Maria watched as Ellie nodded along and kicked her legs along to the music. It was becoming clear the girl didn’t like country music but did like it when pop came on, but it wasn’t until the radio switched to classical music that there was a big change in the child. As soon as the song started she went completely still, her face paled a shade and she kept her eyes straight ahead. 

Maria changed the radio quickly, but not fast enough. Ellie stayed still the rest of the ride home and didn’t respond to the questions the woman asked. She stayed like this for the rest of the night. 

“I’ll be right in my room if you need anything, little bear,” Maria sat on the side of the girl's bed and watched as the blank stare continued, “Okay, goodnight.”

She reached up to brush the side of the girl's face as she had for the last few nights, this time the girl flinched slightly but returned back to where she was immediately. The thought of how this response had been trained coiled Maria’s stomach. She waited for a moment longer before getting up and turning off the light, hoping the girl would sleep off whatever mindset she was in. 

Her kitchen still needed to be cleaned up from the dinner she had made for the two of them, an almost full serving still present on the child's plate. The Center’s report had specified that Ellie had missed morning snack, and that along with refusing the one Maria had made when they got home along with dinner worried her. She quickly cleaned up and put away the leftovers before sitting at her desk and drafting a letter to the girl's pediatrician.

It was probably overkill, logically Maria knew that kids could miss meals here and there (she knew she had) but with the medication, Ellie was on, she figured she should play it safe. She sent off the email and noticed a new one in her inbox, one from a Russian she hadn’t heard from since she had sent the original email. She promised herself she would hold off reading it until she finished what Fury had asked for. 

By the time she had sent over the information the Director had asked for, it was approaching 1am and Maria had to blink a few times to get her vision to clear up to read the words on the screen. 

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: No pressure Message:  On a flight to a classified mission, only completed the first half of the questions but this kept me entertained. Wish you were entertaining me in a different way ;) I’ll message you when I get back. 

-ur fav redhead <1.attachment>

Maria frowned, she had talked to the Russian’s new handler earlier that day about possibly calling her in for a mission but didn’t see that it had been approved. Phil had always told the Deputy Director when Romanoff was getting called in for a mission, it seemed the new handler would not keep her in the loop the same way. She missed her friend, she missed Natasha, she missed the way it was. 

Her mouse hovered over the attachment when she heard the distinct sound of limbs hitting the wall she was sitting next to. She moved quickly into the child’s room where she found a little girl thrashing around in her bed. No longer was she a sleeping child in a cocoon of blankets, now she was wide-eyed and scared in a way that brought memories of the little bear under the hospital table to mind. 

“Hey hey, Ellie what's going on?” Maria walked into the room and tried to get close to the girl who didn’t acknowledge the new person in her space. 

As much as she wanted to get closer to the child that thrashed around in the blankets around her bed, she knew better. She had been around Natasha, she had been around her fellow brothers in the Army, she knew what a night terror looked like. Still, she crept forward, speaking softly the entire time until she was on the bed. 

“Ellie girl,” Maria tried to get her attention, “Elizaveta.”

This got through to the child who began yelling in Russian. Never had Maria heard the child yell like this, it broke her heart watching as glazed eyes filled with tears. The Commander pulled out her phone, hoping that Natasha would be able to translate the yelling until she remembered the woman was on a mission. 

Her fingers scrolled for a moment longer before clicking “call”. 

“Hey hey you’re okay,” she tried again to calm the yelling child as the phone line trilled. It did nothing but cause the girl to yell more between gasps of breath. 

“Hey, Ria,” Laura’s voice was sleepy as she answered the phone, “what’s going on?”

“I need a translation,” she didn’t have time for a proper greeting. 

“Go ahead,” the woman was clearly more awake now as she no doubt heard the child yelling in the background. 

Maria put the phone on speaker and waited patiently, hoping that the woman would have some insight on what to do. 

“ No one’s going to make you dance, no one is going to make you go, sweetie ,” Laura was speaking quickly in Russian. Maria could only recognize a few of the words but knew it had to do with dancing. 

It seemed to work as the girl quieted slowly, blinking a few times as she did so. The child’s voice was hoarse as she spoke again in a tone that was more similar to her normal one.

“She’s asking for… a lighter? I’m sorry I don't- I don’t know the word,” Laura apologized to Maria who knew exactly what the girl wanted as she looked around for the flashlight. She didn’t find it and turned on the light on the girl's nightstand.

Immediately the girl quieted down, her heavy breathing evening out as she looked at Maria much more lucid than she had been in the last 6 hours. 

“Honey, where’s your flashlight?” Maria asked, she hadn’t seen it since they left that morning. 

“Do not know,” the girl cried, using her hands to push tears off her face quickly. 

“Hey, sorry. Thank you, Laur,” the woman remembered they were still on the phone, “I’ll fill you in soon.” 

Maria hung up the phone and got up to check the girl's backpack, stopping as she heard a whine escape the lips of the child who was still tangled in sheets. A whine that surprised the girl it came from by the look on her face. 

“I was just going to go look for your flashlight,” the woman sat back down on the bed, putting her hand next to the child. 

Ellie crawled her hand out from under the blanket and squeezed the woman's hand twice, her skin was warm and clammy from the unrest that had just occurred. The Commander paused for a second before she placed her hands gently under the child who stiffened at the touch before inhaling and relaxing against Maria’s side. She held the child for a moment, the weight found a place in the warmth of her heart.

Without a second thought, Maria swayed in place, rubbing her hand over the girl's back in the dim light of the bedroom that held chaos only moments before. At some point, she had started to hum which seemed to relax the child even more as she made her way toward the front door where the girl's backpack hung. 

“Do you know where it might be?” Maria whispered to the child in her arms who was nearly asleep. 

The girl shook her head and stiffened up, clearly waiting to be scolded. 

“That’s okay, we can look for it at The Center tomorrow,” the woman rubbed circles on the child's back until she relaxed again, “Do you want to try and go back to bed?”

The girl shook her head once more and Maria made her way onto the couch where they could both rest comfortably. She leaned back and stretched her legs out, allowing the girl to lay on top of her where she ran her fingers over the ends of Maria’s hair. The motion was nearly constant until it started to slow along with the girl's breathing until the Commander was sure she was asleep. 

Her phone buzzed and she used the hand not wrapped around the girl to check it.

Laura B: Still up? Call when you get the chance. 

Seeing that she would probably be here for the rest of the night she leaned over to the nearby desk and put a headphone in before calling the woman. Maria had seen Ellie sleep through much louder conversations on the Helicarrier and figured the girl wouldn’t wake for this. 

“Hey,” Laura’s voice was much more awake now as she answered. 

“Hey,” Maria responded, the vibrations from her voice roused the child for just a moment until she curled back into Maria, closer than she had been before. 

“You okay?” it was a loaded question, one the brunette didn’t know how to fully answer. 

“We will be,” she settled on, knowing it would be enough for the woman on the other side of the phone to understand. 

“Tasha kinda gave us the rundown when she was here, sounds like you have your hands full,” Laura’s voice was kind as she spoke. 

“It’s been a steep learning curve,” she sighed and thought about all the ways she had messed up already, “I didn’t mean to keep you up. We’re okay now.” 

“Ria, I have an 8-year-old and a 3-year-old, I don’t sleep anyway, honey,” there was a rustling as the woman got out of bed, “so tell me all about her. I know you’re not going to go back to sleep, in fact, I bet you’re watching her sleep right now.”

The woman always had a 6th sense for this sort of thing, it’s what had made her an amazing agent during her time with SHIELD. Still, Maria smiled and tried to lie, “who me? No.”

“Don’t you lie to me Maria Hill,” Laura laughed into the phone, “now what’s she like? I only got Tasha’s very brief overview about her being a baby widow and that she can teleport.”

Those would be the things Natasha would talk about , Maria thought and rolled her eyes, “Well she’s about 5, so in between Lila and Coop and likes space and peanut butter and her flashlight-”

“I was going to ask about that” the woman interjected.

“She doesn’t like the dark and I didn’t know I was bringing her home so rather than a nightlight she sleeps with a flashlight,” it sounded a little ridiculous as the Commander explained it. 

“That is adorable,” Laura cooed into the phone, “you’ve always been good at adapting, makes you a great Deputy Director,” 

Fury’s voice was echoed in Laura’s at the phrase, if two things in the world were true it was that Maria was quick on her feet and knew how to adapt. 

“It will make you an even better mom, mark my words,” the woman on the phone laughed. 

Laura continued to talk but Maria couldn’t pay attention past the last sentence, people were already seeing her as a mom,  was she a mom? No, this was a temporary thing… a temporary event that made her think about buying a new car and moving to a bigger place if she could afford it and -

“Ria, you still there?” Laura chimed in.

“Yeah, sorry I’m still here,” Maria cleared her throat and absent-mindedly played with the girl’s hair. 

“I freak you out?”

“I just- I don’t know how to be a mom Laura,” there were suddenly tears in her eyes, “I didn’t have a mom growing up and everyone who raised me is either dead or a deadbeat and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Aw sweetie,” Laura laughed into the receiver, “none of us do! The first 3 years of Coop’s life were pretty much only with me. Clint was always on missions trying to keep us above water financially and my parents live so far away. I remember after a long mission one time Clint picked Cooper up to hug him and the kid cried and kicked him away because he didn’t remember who he was.” 

Maria looked down at the girl on her chest and prayed that the girl would never forget her. 

“What I’m saying is, it’s hard to raise a kid. It’s even harder to do it alone- but you’re not alone. Your blood family might not be around but you have me, and Nat when she gets her head out of her ass, and Clint and May and Phil…” she paused, “I’m sorry- I didn’t- I wasn’t-”

“It’s okay,” the brunette breathed out and closed her eyes, feeling hot tears trail down her face. 

“You have people to help you out hun, bring her out to the farm sometime,” Laura spoke with such kindness, “we’d love to have you two out here. And if not, we're always a phone call away, okay?” 

“Thanks, Laur,” Maria couldn’t find the energy to sound anything other than heartbroken. 

“Try to get some rest, I promise she’ll still be there in the morning,” there was that 6th sense again. 

“Night, give my love to everyone.”

“I will, night Ria.”

Maria looked at the girl on her chest whose green eyes opened as soon as the conversation was over. She glanced around for a moment and stiffened when she didn't recognize the environment. 

“You’re okay, little bear,” Maria rubbed the girl’s back and watched as her eyes slowly closed at the now familiar touch. 

Maybe she was becoming a mom. Maybe that wasn’t the worst thing in the world.  

Maria opened her eyes the next morning to the sound of her alarm and a sore neck from the position she had stayed in most of the night. It was only after 3am that the girl allowed the Commander to move her back to her bed for a few hours before they had to be up. 

By the time she had gotten ready and gotten Ellie fed, they were already 10 minutes behind. The girl was trying her best to keep up but had clearly been affected by the lack of sleep the night before, taking an additional 8 minutes to eat and even longer to take her medicine and brush her teeth. While Maria had promised herself the day before that she would do the girl's hair today, by the time they were walking out the door it was still barely brushed and wild in the DC humidity. 

“Tomorrow we’ll get up earlier to braid it,” the woman tried to smooth it out the best she could on their ride down the elevator and into the lobby. 

“Okay,” Ellie held on to her backpack straps tightly. 

“Nice shirt kid! Have a good day,” the desk attendant called out as they passed. 

“Have a good one,” Maria replied as she looked at Ellie who looked down at her shirt and then back to the attendant who she put one finger in the air towards. The Deputy Director held the proper thumbs up above the girl's head to the clearly confused man who smiled and gave a thumbs up back to Ellie who smiled to herself. 

The child clearly understood that they were in more of a rush because she barely protested the car seat she climbed into. 

“Ria!” she called out and swiveled towards the woman quickly, a smile on her face. 

She had found the flashlight in the car and held it snugly against her chest after presenting it to the woman. 

“We must have forgotten to pick it up when we got home yesterday,” the Commander had been more concerned with the girl who was in an emotionally detached state the day before. 

“Little алена,” the child whispered to herself as Maria buckled her in. 

She started the car and muted the radio, making sure to delete the preset Classical music channel before turning the music back up on a local indie station. The backseat was much quieter than it had been the day before and when Maria checked the rearview mirror she was met with a sleeping child.

There was a sense of peace on her face that was rarely seen, it seemed the girl was always worried, shifting her gaze constantly with furrowed brows. But for now and until they pulled up to the gate, the girl’s face was smooth of all worries. 

“Morning ma’am,” the guard at the front gate saluted her.

At the sound of a male voice the girl's eyes slammed open, Maria reached back and placed her hand on her ankle for reassurance, “Morning.”

“Have a good day, you two” he opened the gate.

“You as well,” she pulled forward and checked the mirror, Ellie was wide-eyed, “you took a little nap but that’s okay.”

The child stayed awake for the rest of the short trip to the parking garage, clicking her flashlight a few times as they pulled into a spot. She took Maria’s hand as they walked through the lot and towards the door to the main building where they got more stares from people around them than the day before if that was possible. 

It wasn’t until they were in the hallway of The Center that they were finally free of people's eyes and odd comments about the Commander and the child. The girl clicked the flashlight a few more times, the sound echoing off the tile floor. 

“You’re going to be okay Ellie,” Maria paused before they got to the doors and looked at the girl, “You did so well yesterday and if you’re having a hard time again today you find an adult and let them know, okay?

“Okay,” the girl nodded. 

“Want to breathe again?”

“Yes,” the girl nodded once more. 

Maria knelt next to the girl, “ready? Big breath in for 1..2…3…4 and hold it, now out for 1…2…3…4…5. Good job” 

Ellie let out another breath and held her flashlight close as they entered the space that was a little louder than it had been the day before. 

“Hi my friend,” Grace smiled and waved from behind the desk, “Hi Maria, go ahead and sign her in and I can take her back.”

“You got this little bear,” Maria gave the girl a thumbs up and watched her concerned face nod and follow the blonde behind the half door. 

She signed the girl in and watched as the child dropped her bag off (but not her flashlight) in the backpack station before sitting on the reading rug with her back still pressed firmly against the bookshelf as it had been the day before. 

“She loves that flashlight huh?” Grace smiled as she walked back up to the front. 

“She does, we couldn’t find it last night and had a bit of a meltdown.”

“Poor thing, rough night?” the blonde looked back at the child who was staring at Maria. 

“You could say that,” she sighed “I wouldn’t be surprised if she falls asleep today, if she does just call me and I’ll come pick her up.”

“Oh she can sleep in the beds we have, you don’t need to come all this way to get her,” Grace tried to reassure the Deputy Director. 

“Okay, but please don’t hesitate to call if anything happens. She can be a little… finicky when it comes to- well everything.”

“Got it, have a good day Maria,” the woman smiled softly. 

“You too,” the Commander left, only turning back once as she passed the window in the hallway where she found a pair of green eyes back on her from the reading rug. 

Maria smiled and gave a thumbs up and kept walking, knowing if she stayed any longer she would bring the girl with her to her office,  her day wasn't that full.  

Which was a lie, her day was that full. Something she realized as she checked her schedule for the third time that morning. She was overseeing a mission that morning and had meetings until late in the afternoon which already made her head hurt. 

There was a brief gap between this moment in her office and when she would need to be Handler Hardass Hill, just enough time for her to read over the email she had gotten from Natasha the night before. 

I’ll fill in the rest later, hope this helps. -bite me (get it? widow's bite)

1. She speaks more languages than I think she lets on, any idea how many you knew by 5? I’m incredibly talented and probably knew 15 by the time I was 5. Maria snorted, Natasha was her favorite type of annoying. Just kidding, I probably knew 3 to 5 by her age, she’ll pretend she doesn’t know as many so people will use them in front of her. We were taught to never let people know how much we understood.
2. Mentioned something about red powder? I caught that in the medbay on the carrier, no clue. Promise you it can’t be good.
3. Changes in front of people without hesitation, is she afraid she’ll get in trouble for hiding something if she closes the door? Maybe, but I’d probably say it has more to do with the fact that she’s never had doors and had to change in front of tens of people every day. Think showering in the Triskelion gym, but all the faucets only have cold water… and more blood… and some of the girls are trying to kill you. See → what is modesty and why do I have to care
4. Loves peanut butter, all Russians? For the motherland. 
5. Hates being in the dark, recommendations? The girls in the Room used to say that our dormitories were so dark, even the shadows would hide. It was the one time of day when you could get away with things (the rare kindness or more likely hurting others so you wouldn’t be the weak one the next morning) so I wouldn’t be surprised if she was still traumatized by it. Let me think about it.
6. Only really leaves her room when I let her out, Red Room training? Totally, every door is locked from the outside. Maybe explain to her that most doors don’t work that way.
7. How do you take care of your hair without it going wild as soon as you try and brush it? Super simple. I don’t brush it. Maria snorted again, of course, she didn’t and still looked like a gift every day. Wide tooth comb and have you been using the curly hair shampoo like I told you? You’re going to ruin her curl pattern. 

PS: avoid classical music, uniforms, and probably other kids for now. Explain later.

The Deputy Director read the list two more times, committing it all to memory. There was so much she didn’t know about the girl, so many terrible things had happened to the child in the few years of her life and she wondered if Ellie would ever have a sense of “normality”. She then thought about the woman who had sent the list over and how much she had changed since defecting. 

The blue-eyed woman remembered the first time she had met Natasha, the same wild eyes that Ellie had now were what started back at Maria when Barton offloaded the woman from the Quinjet. Natasha wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t interact with anyone other than the archer for months. Maria would learn later that it was because the Russian was terrified that if she stepped a toe out of line they would punish her the same way the Room had or kill her for being a liability. 

But in the many years since then, Natasha had blossomed into a kind, funny, loyal, strong… (Maria could go on and on) person. She figured it would just take time with Ellie as it had with the other scared girl from the Red Room. Or rather, other sacred girls from the Red Room, something told her that if Yelena was alive, she would fall into this group as well.

She had 25 minutes before her shift and while she should have used it to prepare, she used it to look into anything Red Room-related. The word she had given to Natasha wasn’t one she would break even if she had a child in tow now. Her fingers flew over the keys as she brought up the police report from the teenager who was last seen with Ellie, it was a start. 

After 23 minutes and a call to a police station that sounded more like a bar on a Friday night, the Deputy Director drafted an email. 

To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: No pressure
Message: 

Thanks, this was very informative. Hope your mission is going well, I’ll try and ask Hunt about how it’s going later.
-Hill

PS: Didn’t forget that I told you I’d help. Password hint: Best Bond movie.

She attached the full record of the police report and another report with similar motives to the email and password encrypted link. It wasn’t much but it was all she could offer for now. 

Chapter Text

“I swear to fuck Charlie team if I have to explain coordinate directions to you one more time!” The Commander watched the dots on the screen stop and then start walking in different directions.

She had just inhaled to rip into them when her phone started to vibrate: The Center.

“Agent Gill, you’re the only one going East, everyone follow suit. Transportation will be there in T-2 minutes,” the comms were muted as she answered her phone, “This is Hill.”

“Hi Maria, it’s Grace,” the woman on the other end sounded apologetic.

“Hi Grace, what’s going on?” the blue-eyed woman tried to stay calm.

“We’re having a bit of a hard time again today and keep falling asleep in our cubby,” Grace was clearly sitting with Ellie.

“Does she look like she wants to talk to me?” Maria waited.

“She’s actually drifting off again,” the woman's voice was quieter this time.

“Okay, I have about 2 minutes until evac on this mission I’m overseeing and then I’ll head down.”

“Sorry Maria, I know you’re busy.”

“Nope, it’s okay. We’re going to figure it out, see you soon,” she ended the call and turned her comms back on, and listened in on the conversation between the team lead and the agents until they had eyes on the jet.

It was another 3 minutes until the team was in the air and out of hostile territory. She had learned not to call a mission over until they were safely on their way back. A quick glance at her watch let her know she was now 5 minutes later than she had told Grace. You can do this, plenty of agents have kids. None of them are level 9’s or the deputy director or… no you can do this.

“Runciter, watch for touch down,” she looked at the agent on her way out of the control room, “email me the report, I’ll be in my office.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the woman nodded.

The building was full as the Commander walked quickly down the hallways and staircases, dodging agents and staff until she was finally at The Center. It took approximately 2 seconds to find Ellie who had just landed a kick on one of the workers who had gotten too close to her cubby.

“Elizaveta,” Maria’s voice was stern and caused the girl to whip her head towards the source.

The male worker groaned and rubbed his ribs before giving a wave toward the Commander.

Grace winced sympathetically from behind the counter, “I was just printing off the end-of-day report.”

“Thank you,” Maria finished signing the girl out and took the printed paper in her hand.

“She really tried today. She had lunch with us and listened to story time but started drifting off at the end and well… wouldn’t come out of her spot” the blonde gave a half smile, “there’s always tomorrow.”

Maria hummed in agreement while following the woman towards the backpack station where Ellie was crammed into the cubby just as she was the day before.

“Ready to go?” the brunette crouched down next to the girl who nodded, her eyes heavy, “say bye to Ms. Grace and apologize to the man you kicked.”

Green eyes fell on the blonde first who she waved bye to before she looked at the man who was now sitting at a nearby table.

“Jason,” Grace got the man’s attention, “Ellie’s headed out for the day and wanted to say something.”

“Oh,” he perked up and gave his attention to the little girl.

“I am apologizing,” the girl stared at Maria’s shoe and clasped her hands in front of her before glancing at the man.

“I forgive you,” he seemed to get that she didn’t totally know how to say sorry.

The Commander held out the girl’s backpack, “good job, kid. Did you put your flashlight in your bag already?”

The child nodded and put the bag on, finding security in the straps that were already in her grasp.

“Thanks again,” Maria paused at the front door to say goodbye to Grace.

“It’s our job, plus,” was that a hint of blush on the woman's cheeks? “It kinda guarantees I get to see you before my shift’s over.”

“Well,” Maria had no idea what to say, was she now blushing? Why was she blushing? “I still really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Grace laughed a little, “oh and Maria, at some point we will need more than just you for an emergency contact.”

“Right, I’ll get you some names,” Ellie pulled on her hand as she talked.

“Thanks, have a good rest of your day you two,” Grace leaned down to make sure the girl heard her.

The two walked out of The Center, Ellie rubbed her eyes as they made their way down the hallway. By the time they were back in Maria’s office, the girl was giving long, slow blinks.

“Want to take a nap on the couch?” The woman offered to the child who threw herself on the soft surface.

She had a full day of meetings, some of which were going to be impossible to move locations, a sense of dread filled her as she tried to figure out what to do.

Ellie had curled up in the corner of the couch and had all but fallen asleep at an awkward angle.

“Hey,” Maria spoke softly, “I will be right back,” the girl sat bolt upright and wide-eyed, “what number can you count to?”

“English?” the girl, still panicked, asked.

“Russian,” she hoped it would buy her more time.

“Seventeen,” Ellie answered in her native tongue.

“Do that twice and I’ll be back, I promise.” The Commander stood up and walked to the door, “this will stay locked the whole time. You’re safe and I’ll be right back.”

It was one of the safest buildings in the world, yet still, she hesitated as the door handle was in her hand. As soon as she heard the first number pass the child’s lips she opened the door and moved as quickly as she could down the hall and towards the office, she knew as well as her own.

It didn’t hit her that he wouldn’t be there until after she swiped her card and opened his office door. The air felt different as she wanted into the space, stale, cold, the opposite of everything that he was.

“I wish you were here,” Maria breathed out, “I’m going to borrow the pillow and Blanket for Ellie, she… man you’d love her Phil.”

She moved to the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out the items, unsure of why she felt the need to talk to a dead man. And yet, she continued to do so as she left.

“I’ll bring them back later,” she promised, closing the door behind her as she made the quick walk back to her own office.

Ellie was still counting as she got back but just barely, she had 2 numbers left as Maria entered the space.

“Here you go,” the brunette held up the items to the girl who held them awkwardly in her hands.

“Back,” the green-eyed girl dropped the pillow and watched as Maria put it back on the couch.

“Yeah, we’ll bring them back to Phil's office later.”

“No,” the child yawned, “Ria back.”

The woman gave a soft smile, “yeah little bear, when I say I’m coming back, I mean it.”

Ellie eyed her suspiciously before laying her head down on the pillow, the restless night before had caught up to her to the point where she couldn’t argue. The Commander tucked the army green blanket around the child, realizing that it still smelled like Phil as she did so. It took approximately 2 seconds for the child to pull the somewhat scratchy material around her body and over her head until she looked like a blanket that had been discarded until her eyes peered out from the fabric.

“Take a nap, I’ll be right here,” Maria sat at her desk and started working on the end-of-mission report from the operation that had occurred that morning.

As the child's breathing began to slow, her typing followed suit until she had fully stopped and was staring at the lump on the couch. She had a full day and no idea what to do with the girl who seemed content to sleep on her couch. Her first three meetings were in her office, she hoped that the child would remain sleeping through them.

For the first two meetings, no one noticed the girl on the couch sleeping (other than a senior agent during the first meeting who glanced at the blanket and then Commander Hill, it was very abnormal for her to leave anything even remotely personal out). It wasn’t until the third meeting where an overly confident Sergeant sat on the couch that things went awry.

“I don’t think that disciplinary action is needed Command-” the rest of his sentence was cut off by a scream that caused a ghost of a smile to run across Maria’s face.

“I’m not going to tell you how to run your team Sergeant,” she continued to talk as if nothing had occurred, “but I will tell you that if this happens again not only will disciplinary action be taken against her, but you as well.”

“I-” the man stumbled over his words, still staring at the moving blanket, “I understand.”

“Anything else?”

“No, ma’am. Have a good day, ma’am,” the man stood up, stole one more look over his shoulder at the moving blanket, and left.

It wasn’t until after the door closed and the sound of the automatic lock was heard that Ellie popped her head out from the blanket.

“Have a good nap?” the brunette asked.

The child nodded and stuck one finger into the air that Maria returned with a proper thumbs up, “glad to hear it. I have two more meetings but they are in other rooms, do you want to come with me or head back to The Center?”

“With you,” the child pushed curls that had stuck to her face out of the way.

“Okay, but they might be boring so bring me your tablet.”

The girl walked over to where her backpack was hanging, Maria went to stand up to help the girl get it down, forgetting that she had hung it when Ellie walked over to one of the chairs in front of the desk. Using strength that was surprising for her age and size, she pushed until the chair was under the bag and climbed on top until she could reach it. Once the device was safely in her hands, she followed the process in reverse and handed Maria the tablet.

“Okay you’re all charged up,” she tried to hide her amusement and checked the percentage again, “ready to go? Need anything?”

Ellie shook her head and waited for Maria by the door.

It wasn’t full silence as they walked into the conference room full of people, but it was close. All eyes were on the two as they made their way toward the head of the table, Ellie trailing closely behind the woman who was clearly in charge. Maria tried not to react, but for the last 5 years all eyes normally averted her gaze when she walked in, this was new, different.

She sat down at the head of the table and looked at the man to her left who immediately got up and offered his chair to Ellie.

“Ma’am,” he said more towards the child than the Commander.

“Thank you,” Maria settled the girl into the seat and pulled out her headphones, “if you need anything you just tap my leg okay?”

The child nodded and looked around the room, clearly nervous about the sheer number of occupants.

“You don’t worry about them, I’m the boss, you just pay attention to your show and you can tell me all about it tonight,” the Commander waited to make sure the girl understood before looking at the rest of the members of the room who were still staring, “Alright, Agent Colletti start us off.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the man cleared his throat and looked away from the child, “Based on ongoing undercover missions we believe that we have enough data to properly take down the organization associated with mission 14-32-Indigo…”

While the meeting was a success and Ellie was the perfect child through it all, it ran long. So long that by the end of it, Maria and Ellie had less than 5 minutes to make it to their next meeting. One that the Deputy Director wasn’t in charge of, that was left up to the Director himself.

“Alright kid, we gotta book it,” she looked at the child who was clearly confused if not a little worried, “one last meeting then we can go home and have some dinner and be done for the night.”

Maria picked up the child's tablet, noticing that it was already half dead, and took the girl's hand in her own. The two walked as quickly as Ellie’s legs could carry her until they were across the massive building and walking into the meeting room that was already silent. The Commander squared her shoulders and walked into the room, fidgeting her seat next to the Director who raised a single eyebrow at the girl before turning back to the laptop he was working off of.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t an extra seat to sit the girl in, so Maria pulled her into her lap and opened up the tablet. She was positive everyone was looking at her but didn’t give them the satisfaction of looking back.

“Didn’t know this meeting was open to the public, Hill,” the man next to her chided.

“Didn’t know you were back on the email list for this mission, Sitwell,” she responded as she handed the child headphones to put on and watch her show.

The man scoffed and went to say something when Fury started talking, leaving the room even quieter than it had been. Maria typed away on her own tablet for the remainder of the meeting, trying to make sure the logistics of what Fury was planning would actually work out. She made notes, checked classified documents, and created reminders until she felt a tap on her leg.

The director was still talking but wrapping things up when the Commander looked at the child in her lap who squirmed around.

“Can it wait 5 more minutes?” Maria pulled a headphone back and whispered in the girl's ear.

Ellie seemed to really ponder this before she shook her head.

“Okay, what is it?” She leaned into the girl who whispered one word back, “bathroom.”

The brunette was positive that her boss would be done in the next few minutes but judging by how much the girl was still wiggling around, they didn’t have the time to wait. She took the headphones fully off the child and picked up both of their tablets before shooting Fury an apologetic look.

The two had just stood up as Sitwell scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Watch yourself,” was all the Deputy Director could get out before leading the child to the exit.

As soon as they were outside the doors of the room Ellie picked up the speed, in the wrong direction.

“I’m going to pick you up so we can run okay?” Maria knew they didn't have the time and scooped up the child.

They got to the bathroom with just enough time to spare as the girl shoved her pants down and sat on the toilet with a speed Maria hadn’t seen her exhibit. By the time she was done and they had made their way back to the meeting room, the talk was already over.

“I’m really sorry, sir,” she found Fury in the hallway as he made his way back to his office.

“Maybe we do bathroom breaks before meetings, Hill,” he sighed and continued to walk.

“She shouldn’t be with me in the future-” Maria cut off her excuse, “got it, sir.”

“You have a good night, little miss,” Fury slowed down for just a moment and stuck out his fit.

The girl tapped it back very seriously and nodded. The brunette swiped her card and let them back into her office where she needed to collect both of their things before heading out for the night. She sat down at her desk to log out of her computer when she saw the end-of-the-day report still sitting on her desk and unfolded it. Hoping that it would be the last “early release” she would get for a while.

A hope that died over the course of the next week as she picked up the child early every day.

Tuesday
Name: Elizaveta
Activities: group reading time, did not engage with crafts, solo reading, lunch.
Food: half of her lunch before closing her bag with food left over, did eat morning snack.
Nap: N/a
Items needed: N/a
Parent notes: Elizaveta did not want to engage with peers or staff.
Reason for early release: 12:13pm fell asleep and wouldn’t come out of backpack station.

Wednesday
Name: Elizaveta
Activities: group reading time, did not engage with crafts, solo reading, lunch.
Food: Ate full lunch, tried to close lunch box with vegetables still inside.
Nap: 30-minute nap after lunch
Items needed: N/a
Parent notes: Elizaveta did not want to engage with peers or staff.
Reason for early release: 1pm, asked for parent, Staff member Grace tried to engage but informed parent after she was unable to console child.

Thursday
Name: Elizaveta
Activities: did not engage with crafts, did not engage with group reading time, solo reading.
Food: N/a.
Nap: N/a
Items needed: N/a
Parent notes: Elizaveta did not want to engage with peers or staff.
Reason for early release: 12:34pm child refused to eat or engage with others.

Friday
Name: Elizaveta
Activities: group reading time, did not engage with crafts, solo reading, lunch, did explore outdoors briefly.
Food: Ate full lunch after prompting from team to finish.
Nap: 25-minute nap after lunch
Items needed: N/a
Parent notes: Elizaveta did not want to engage with others and when asked, an altercation occurred.
Reason for early release: 1pm, physical altercation occurred (minor) when two peers attempted to read book that Elizaveta was reading. Parent informed that child did not create altercation and staff removed child before harm was inflicted.

The Deputy Director's heart was beating in her ears as she got to The Center just after 1pm, expecting to find a blood bath from what Grace had told her over the phone. She cursed herself for not listening to Natasha’s email (the only one she had gotten over the week) to make sure Ellie wasn’t around other children.

Cold hands pushed open the door and immediately she let out the breath she had been holding as she took in the sight. The green-eyed girl was sitting in a chair alone in the corner of the room, staring at the floor in front of her. On the other side of the little’s area sat two blonde girls with matching jackets, both looked annoyed but unharmed.

“Hi, Maria,” Grace’s voice was calm as she opened the half door, “everyone is okay but she has been in time-out for the last 10 minutes.”

“What happened?” Maria looked closer at the girl, her hair had come out of its bun for the most part, but other than that she looked uninjured.

“Ellie was reading alone and we had a set of sisters come up to the library, according to them Ellie wouldn’t share the book she was reading,” the blonde rolled her eyes.

“And according to Ellie?” her voice was defensive, why was her voice so defensive?

“Wouldn’t say, even after we told her she wouldn’t get in trouble.”

“I’ll talk to her about it later, anything you need from us before we go?” Maria picked up the girl's backpack and helped her put it on before she reached out to take the child’s hand.

“We technically have a three-strike policy when it comes to fights, but if she apologizes we can take this one off because it wasn’t really a fight,” Grace explained to the two.

“Even if you don’t know whose fault it is?” The Commander looked over to the sisters who giggled.

“Yep,” the blonde shook her head, “I know Ellie wasn’t in the wrong here. But it’s the rule my boss made.”

“Get me your boss’s name and email,” she was the Deputy Director and this was a bullshit rule, “Ellie do you want to say sorry?”

The child looked up at the woman next to her, “did not hit them. Rule five.”

“Okay, then we don’t apologize,” it seemed fair enough to Maria.

The blonde laughed, “okay let me print your end-of-the-day report then.”

Maria sighed as she sat down at her desk, it was a Friday afternoon and while she didn’t have any more in-person meetings (she had learned to only schedule those for the morning) she still needed to work. Ellie sat on the couch, her head hung as she kicked her legs out and watched them fall back down.

“What are we going to do, huh?” at the sound of Maria’s voice the girl looked at her.

Ellie shrugged and hung her head again.

“Come here, little bear, let me fix your hair,” she watched as the girl walked over slowly, flinching as she raised her hand towards her hair, “you’re not going to get hit. You’re not in trouble but I do want you to tell me what happened.”

The longer the woman ran her fingers through the girl's hair, the more they both relaxed until it was fixed.

“Was reading and they come up,” the child sighed and shook her head, “wanted my book but had not finished reading, Ria. Then tell them no but they grab it and I wanted so I pushed hands off but then one walk behind me and- shoved me but,” the girl paused and spoke again in English, “I did not hit back.”

“I appreciate that you didn’t hit them back but Ellie if someone is hurting you, you're allowed to hit them so you can run away,” Maria was pretty sure this went against every parenting book she had read.

“Rule five,” the girl held up five fingers to emphasize her point.

“Rule 5 part two then: you’re not allowed to start fights, but you can finish them.”

Ellie looked at Maria and nodded in such a way that the woman felt the need to make an amendment already to the rule, “but you don't leave any marks that last, no permanent damage.”

The child seemed to think for a long time about this before nodding and holding her pinky out to Maria who interlocked her own digit. They both stood for a moment longer before Ellie walked over to her spot on the couch and pulled her tablet out of her backpack in the same way she had every day that week.

Maria went back to her desk and continued to work, signing off on reports and creating new strategic plans for the agents under her. She continued to work and check on the girl who was mouthing along to the show she watched on her tablet until there was one firm knock on her door. Fury.

“Come on in, sir,” she straightened up and gave a reassuring smile to Ellie.

“Hill, why are you still here with a child who could be enjoying the weekend?” he asked gruffly before turning to the child, “hi there, little miss.”

“Hi,” Ellie replied for the first time, making Fury smile softly.

“So I could be here to answer whatever question you're about to ask me,” the Commander leaned back in her chair.

“Smart ass,” the Director lowered his voice before bringing it back to its normal level, “I’m looking for the master list of handler-agent pairings.”

“I can send you over a copy of the one I currently use when selecting agents for missions,” she pulled up the document with a few clicks of her mouse, “anything else, sir?”

“Yeah, I want your personal list of pairings.”

The Commander squinted at the man in the seat across from her, that wasn’t information she gave willingly to anyone. It was a little-known fact that Deputy Director Hill had a master spreadsheet of every agent who worked at SHIELD, their strengths and weaknesses, who they worked well with, different events tied to them, and most importantly: how well she liked them.

“In exchange for what?” The Commander pushed it, she had given him an old copy the year prior.

“In exchange for, because I’m your boss,” the man doubled down.

“This isn’t a SHIELD-sanctioned list,” she dug her heels in.

“What do you think, little miss?” The man was ruthless as he turned to ask the girl who was still sitting on the couch.

“Little miss got into a fight at school today, can't take her word anymore,” Maria smiled at the girl who slowly raised her hand to her face.

“Yes, should give list,” Ellie covered her eye and stared at the Director who laughed from deep in his chest.

“Ellie, we talked about that. You don’t have to cover your eye to make him feel better,” the woman stifled a laugh.

“How ‘bout this, you give me the list, and you can put me down as her emergency contact at The Center,” the man leaned back in his chair.

Maria knew she had furrowed her brows for just a second before schooling her features judging by the smile on Fury’s face, how the hell did he know that it was still blank?

“Deal, but I need it back” she rolled her chair out and walked over to a locked filing cabinet by the couch in her office, Ellie watched her every move.

There was a soft spot in her heart for hard copies, call her old fashioned but the woman didn’t fully trust technology, regardless of the security updates Stark had created. She moved to the back of the third cabinet and pulled out a somewhat large file before handing it over to her boss.

“The top six pages are the only major changes from the copy I gave you last year,” she leaned on the front section of her desk and watched as the Director flipped through the documents.

“You gave Randall an 8?” the man looked up from the folder.

“He made sure the carrier didn’t go down when I stepped out from the bridge a few weeks ago, earned him a brownie point that I explained if you looked at the notes section,” she leaned forward and put her finger on the section titled ‘notes’.

“Yes, I can read Hill,” the man shooed her finger away.

“Well,” she huffed and sat back down at her desk, “it’s all yours, I’ll need it back by the end of the month.”

That was a lie, but she didn’t like the idea of it not tightly locked away in her filing cabinet.

“Also, don’t worry about the emergency contact. I can find someone else Nick,” she spoke quietly to the man who looked up from the file.

“I was going to offer, either way, this just sweetened the deal.” he held up the documents.

“But if you-”

“Hill,” he cut her off, “I like the kid. Let me help.”

“Fine… thank you,” she looked back at the child on the couch who was pretending not to listen.

“You’re welcome, now leave me to read and take her to go and enjoy her weekend,” he didn’t look up from the file and while the Commander had more work to do (she always had more work to do) she listened and started collecting her things.

“Ready, kid?” Maria locked her computer and picked up the girl's backpack, slinging it over one of her own shoulders.

“Yes, goodbye-” Ellie looked at Maria for guidance on what to call the man. Maria looked back at Fury who looked back at the Commander then back to the child.

“Fury,” the Director spoke up.

“Goodbye, Fuzzy,” the girl gave a small wave. Maria was 80% sure that the child mispronounced the name on purpose and snort-laughed.

“Bye little miss,” Fury waved back and the two left the man in the office.

It was much quieter at this time of day, the agents and staff who walked around were few and far between. The two walked through the building in relative silence as they made their way to the garage. Maria watched as they passed her car and made a mental note to look into selling it in the next month to get something that would fit a car seat.

The woman played pop music from her teen years the whole way home, a little too loud, singing along, with the windows down. She glanced in the rearview mirror expecting to see the girl dancing along as she had before, but this time Ellie had her eyes closed and a soft smile as she felt the warm spring air on her face. Maria felt, for the first time, that she was doing something right.

“Well, have you ever been to the library?” The woman continued washing dishes as the girl watched from her spot on the island.

“Yes,” Ellie nodded, surprising the woman who scrubbed spaghetti sauce off of a plate.

“Oh really, when?” She had a hard time believing that, maybe she was thinking of the library at The Center.

“Back at home,” the sentence caused Maria to falter.

“In Russia?” she pressed the subject.

“Yes,” the child said quietly, “and Kyra with mission.”

“Do you ever wish you were back at that home?” Maria had 100 questions but knew how little the child liked to speak and didn’t want to push it.

“No,” Ellie shook her head and stared at the spot on the counter, “Do wish I was back there?”

Maria dried her hands and walked over to the child, “No Ellie girl, I don’t ever wish you were back there.”

“Not cold here like that home,” the girl looked relieved.

“Yeah, Russia is pretty cold huh?”

The child nodded and continued to stare at the counter, “miss Kyra.”

Her statement was so quiet Maria wasn’t sure if she was supposed to hear it, “I bet you do, maybe one day we can look for her.”

“Cannot is gone gone,” the child locked eyes with Maria, green eyes so full of emotions she couldn’t express.

“Come here, little bear,” the blue-eyed woman opened her arms and waited, after a moment that seemed to stretch on the girl sniffled and leaned into the woman.

Ellie stayed stiff until Maria rubbed her back, “what do you miss about her?”

The girl started to cry, relaxing into the kind touch as the woman walked around the apartment. She knew how hard it was to miss a person who was “gone gone”, she remembered the terrible feeling when she was a child and one that she experienced again as an adult, the missing of a person you could never talk to in person again. Maria missed old agents, she missed the people she had lost in the military, she missed her mom.

“Did hair good, and and knew stories,” the girl blurted out between cries, “Miss that she help tie shoes and would make me feel better when I was sad and didn’t make me hurt people because she did it for me, and wouldn't let other littles be mean to me, and how she smells nice.”

The words were coming quickly in Russian and while Maria did her best to understand, she was mainly just a listening ear to the girl who had seen so much horror in the world. Her heart broke at the sobs that continued to wrack the girl's body even after she had stopped talking. The woman made her way over to the child's backpack and got out the flashlight which was quickly brought into Ellie's grasp.

“Are going to make me leave?” the child had calmed herself down enough to ask a question that was clearly weighing on her mind.

It was a question Maria didn’t fully know the answer to. She knew she would never send her back to Russia or any other country for that matter, but she was the Deputy Director, she was busy, she lived alone, and didn’t know the first thing about raising a child. But the weight of the child in her arms settled into her chest in a way that she didn’t know was possible.

“No, sweet girl, I’m not going to make you leave. You can stay here with me but we can talk more about that later,” she needed to buy time while still reassuring the girl.

“Okay,” the girl whispered, tucking her head into the woman's shoulder.

Maria walked around her apartment, finding out that it took 23 strides to get from one side to the other until the child in her arms had calmed herself down enough to sit back up. Even then the woman continued to pace until she found herself in the bathroom drawing a bath for the girl.

“Tasha always says a bath makes everything feel better,” she was pretty sure the spy was referring to sore muscles, but the heart was a muscle too right?

Ellie sat on the countertop and stared at the water that slowly filled the tub, eyeing the addition of body wash suspiciously. She sat and watched until the tub was nearly full before stripping down and looking at Maria.

“Ready to get in?” the blue-eyed woman watched as the girl approached the side and gave one curt nod.

Ellie raised her foot and put it into the water where she pulled it out immediately and stared at the woman next to her.

“What’s wrong? Is it too hot?” Maria felt the water unsure of what an appropriate temperature was for a 5-year-old.

“Warm?” the girl looked towards the woman who was perched on the side of the toilet.

“Want it warmer? Or colder?” the brunette asked, flipping the controls one way and then the other.

“Not cold-” the girl said quickly, wide-eyed.

The two occupants of the bathroom stared at each other for a moment, both trying to better understand what was happening. It was the child who made the first move, once again pulling her leg up and placing it into the tub, looking back towards Maria before adding the second leg. It was an odd process to watch as the child got into the water, something that millions of children did every day. Maria remembered her own childhood when she was drawn a warm bath after-

“Have you ever had a warm bath before?”

Ellie shook her head, easing her body into the bubbles as she did so.

“Well… how do you like it?” Maria asked, sadness creeping in as she remembered just how different the girl was from so many other 5-year-olds.

The child nodded, “good.”

Maria scooted closer to the water and the bubbles that floated on the surface, “when I was a kid I liked to see how tall I could make a tower of bubbles.”

She scooped up a handful and stacked it on another group that had formed. The curly-headed child watched as the tower started to form, slowly she pushed herself over to the bubbles and added her own handful.

“It’s kinda fun, right?” Maria smiled as she watched the girl go for another handful, she grabbed the cup that was sitting on the side of the tub and filled it with warm water.

The plastic cup was old, the SHIELD logo on the side had nearly worn off but the woman had learned earlier that week that Ellie hated having her face wet (other than when she tried to drink the shower water which still grossed The Commander out). They had come up with a system of letting Maria have 25 seconds to wash it at the end of the shower after the girl had repeatedly dried it off every time it was wet in the shower.

She continued to wash the girl's hair, running her fingers through the wet curls until the conditioner was fully worked in. Ellie took the cup that was handed to her and dunked it in the water, pouring it over the bubble tower that she had created until it disappeared. At that moment, the girl in the tub was nothing more than a 5-year-old having a bath. The tears that streaked her cheeks less than an hour before had washed away. The fight she had gotten into at The Center wasn’t important. The horrors of her life were forgotten as she started on a new bubble tower.

Maria sat back and realized, only after she caught her reflection, that she had been smiling at the sight in front of her. Ellie hummed as she moved around in the tub, the tune was unrecognizable but it seemed to make the girl happy.

“What song is that?” Maria asked the same question she had asked the girl in the shower all those weeks ago on the carrier.

Just as she had done on the ship, the girl shrugged and continued to hum. Maria sat and watched the girl until she figured she was probably pruney, a guess that was confirmed as the child showed her fingers.

“Alright, you gotta get out,” the woman held open the child towel, “We don't want you to turn into a raisin.”

Ellie seemed to take the joke very seriously and got out of the bath quickly, letting Maria wrap her in the overly large towel. The woman stood up and let the bath water out which fascinated the child who stood next to the ledge, watching as the bubbles and water made their way down the drain.

“Strong?” she tilted her head and asked the woman next to her.

“Um, no. I mean it's strong enough to take the dirt and bubbles down but not strong enough to take you down if that’s what you're concerned about,” Maria watched the girl nod.

It was another 20 minutes until the child was dressed in her pajamas, her teeth brushed, and tucked into bed. Maria had just sat down on her couch before her phone buzzed.

“Hey Laura,” the woman kept her voice down as she answered the phone.

“Hi, Ria,” Laura’s voice was also low as she answered, “I just put the kids down and figured you had done the same.”

“Yeah, Ellie just went to bed,” Maria could see a faint light from under the girl’s door that indicated she was still awake with her flashlight, her “алена” as she had named it.

“How’d the first week at daycare go? I was keeping you both in my thoughts,” Laura asked.

“It- ugh,” the woman sighed.

“That bad huh?”

“The latest she stayed was half a day,” Maria leaned her head back on the couch.

“Oh honey, don’t even worry about that kind of stuff. When I first started taking Coop to daycare one of us would cave and do early pick-up for a few weeks,” Laura chuckled into the phone.

“It just makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong like I’m a bad-” mom she thought, too afraid to say the word out loud.

“Mom,” Laura filled in the missing word, “you can say it, Ria. You might be scared, or in denial, or whatever else you’re feeling. But you can say it. You’re that little girl’s mom.”

Maria didn’t know what to say, she was The Commander: a woman who had worked from nothing to get to the top, losing people and friendships along the way. She had hurt people, she had led people into warzones, she had killed people.

“Don’t go there,” the woman’s voice cut into her thoughts, “I know that you’re overthinking right now. Ria that little one doesn't care about any of the things you’re thinking about right now. All she knows is the bad parts of life but I know you, you’re going to show her all the beauty. If you have some bumps along the way, it’s okay. What’s Fury always saying about your best qualities?”

“I’m quick on my feet and know how to adapt,” Maria answered before she had time to think.

“I’m sure that you’ve only ever thought about that at work, but let me tell you, those are the best qualities to have as a parent,” Laura laughed, “I don’t want you to force this choice and do something you really don’t want… but Maria Hill you are going to be an amazing mom to that girl if you so choose.”

“Thanks, Laur,” the brunette let out a breath, so thankful for the woman on the other side of the phone.

“Of course sweetie, now let me see a picture of the munchkin, don’t pretend like you’re too tough to have taken one.”

Maria smiled, she had a handful of them on her phone now but sent her over the one she knew would get the biggest reaction. Sure she was feeding into the monster by sending it, but it was a good picture.

“Oh my goodness, RIA!” it was a squeal, that was the only word to describe the reaction from Laura as she looked at the picture that had just been delivered to her phone, “she is so cute, oh she’s just a little love, isn’t she? Maria forget everything I said before about being a mom, you send her my way so I can spoil her rotten!”

The sheer amount of words that came out of Mrs. Barton’s mouth made Maria snort laugh before she looked at the picture again, it was a good one.

“I only saw the one of her in that god-awful police report, I’m going to yell at Tasha next time I talk to her for not telling me how cute she is. Speaking of which, have you heard from her recently?”

“Not much, I got an email earlier but she’s working,” Maria once again was forced to remember that Phil was no longer around to be the Russian's handler and so her information flow had been halted.

“She’s always working,” Laura sighed, “One day Ria, one day you two will figure all of this out just like Clint and I did and you can both take a step back from work.”

“We’re just friends Laur,” the Commander rolled her eyes.

“mhmm, you keep telling yourself that” the woman hummed before being cut off by her husband, “Hi Ria!”

“Hi Barton,” she smiled as she heard the man enter the room.

“Hey, we're going to watch a movie so I’ll talk to you later, but send me more pictures! Also, I think we have some shirts that Coop doesn’t wear anymore that are space themed. I know that hand-me-downs aren’t… well… kids are expensive so if you want them…”

“I’m sure she would love them, thanks, Laura.”

“I’ll get them in the mail next time I go, bye Ria. Love you!” the woman laughed, “Clint says he loves you too.”

“Love you both, talk to you later,” Maria hung up the phone and looked under the door of the girl's room, it was darker now than it had been before.

She walked over to her desk and sat down in front of the computer, her mind was going too fast for her to fall asleep now. But rather than open up a SHIELD document or field report, she clicked on her to-do list and added a new column “E”.

The list had already been started by Phil, most of the things she had thought of, and some she hadn’t, sat on the man’s list that he had shared with her on the carrier. She transferred the data and added her own items (see: get a library card and visit Fitzsimmons) before sending off a quick text to the only other person who had access to the original list.

Ria: Hey May, just wanted to check-in. Hope you’re okay, call me when you can.

The Commander leaned back and looked at the work she had completed. If she was going to be the girl's parent, she was going to do it right.

Chapter Text

It was a little after 6:30am when Maria got out of bed the next morning, she got dressed and went to head to the kitchen. Ellie’s door was still closed but she could hear the girl humming on the other side. 

“Hey, kid,” she knocked once, the humming stopped as she opened the door, “have you been up for long?”

Ellie, wild-haired and wide-eyed shrugged. She had clearly been awake for a while. 

“Come here, I want to show you something,” Maria remembered what Natasha had told her in the email, “this door only locks from the inside.”

The child took the handle in her hand and turned it, her head tilted to the side. 

“If you want to play in here in the morning, that’s fine,” there was a book on the bed, one that Maria was sure the child had already looked through, “but if you want to come out here and watch something on your tablet or if you want to wake me up you can. You aren't locked in the room.” 

The child squinted, unsure of what to make of the information. 

“Look,” Maria closed the door and knocked, “go ahead and open it.”

She did as she was told and opened the door, looking at the lock that she now realized was on her side of the door. 

“You can come out of your room when you’re awake okay?” 

“Okay,” the child nodded, still staring at the lock. 

The rest of the morning was uneventful as they both got ready to head to the local library, Ellie followed every instruction but looked more and more hesitant as the time got closer for them to leave. Maria had tried her best to reassure the girl as they walked down to the lobby, the doorman waving to them as they stepped outside. 

“It’s just a few blocks away, you’ll get to see so many books,” she held the girl's hand, “I bet they have a few about space that we could check out and bring home.”

“Bring home?” the girl perked up as they rounded the corner.

“Yep, we can get you a library card and check some books out,” Maria continued to walk towards the building that was now in her sight. 

This was apparently a good response because the child walked faster as they made their way down the streets of DC. By the time they got there, most of the worry had vanished from the girl. The remaining worry was gone after the blue-eyed adult pointed out the children's section.  

The children’s librarian was an old man with thick glasses and a thicker mustache, “hello, how can I help you today?”

“We’re looking to open a library card,” Maria spoke quietly for the child who was shying behind her leg. 

“You’ve come to the right place,” the man smiled and pulled a form out, “and is this a replacement card, or our first?”

“First,” the woman clarified.

“Oh how exciting,” he handed Maria a pen that she used to fill out the information needed, leaving some of the areas blank, “I work with classified information- some of this I can’t fill in.”

“No worries, we get a number of agents at this location,” the man smiled and looked at the child who had come out from behind Maria’s leg to look at the books that surrounded her, “do you have any topics in particular that you would like to read about?”

The woman went to answer for Ellie before she looked down and saw that the child was trying to understand and respond. She waited. 

“Space,” it took a little longer for her to answer but when she did she smiled. 

“My friend, let me tell you something,” the man spoke, getting the girl's full attention, “we have so many books about space.”

Ellie smiled, her cheeks tinting pink as she did so. The smile on the girl's face was soon painted on Maria's and the librarian's face as well. Maria wanted to remember this moment for the rest of her life.

“Okay this looks good to go, let me just print off a copy of the card, and you my friend will sign the back,” he printed the card and handed it to the child who looked to Maria for guidance. 

“Can you write your name?” it was a valid question given that the girl had no formal education that she was aware of. 

The child nodded and took the pen in her left hand, carefully writing in not just cursive but Russian cursive. She handed the card back to the man to laminate. 

“Now you have something that’s all yours with your name on it,” Maria raised her eyebrows and smiled, “that’s pretty special.” 

The librarian held the card for a second and looked at the signature, “congratulations, you are now a member of the library.”

Ellie looked at the items that were being handed to her and spoke once more, voice little and quiet “thank you.”

“You are welcome,” he handed her the card along with a sticker that she held up to Maria.

The woman helped her put the sticker on her t-shirt before thanking the librarian as well. The two of them then spent the better part of an hour walking around the children's section of the building until Ellie had picked out 5 books, 4 about space, and 1 about frogs. They had come back to the counter when the librarian pulled something out from behind the desk. 

“You are Russian, is that right?” he asked the girl with an armful of books that she insisted on carrying herself. 

The Commander watched as the girl nodded, slightly on edge but figured that the man had noticed the signature. 

“I found this one for you, if you give me a little more time I bet I could find one about space,” he sat up straight and handed her a book from behind the desk. 

While she couldn't read the title in Russian, the woman was overly familiar with the book.  Corduroy , the book about learning to love despite being different. 

Ellie quickly held up the books in her arm to Maria and reached for the book that she could read right away. The girl looked at the cover for a long time before looking up and speaking to the man. 

“Thank you,” she ran a little finger over the title, “ thank you so much .”

Maria was torn between kicking herself for not getting the girl a book in Russian sooner and giving the child a hug for how appreciative she was of the librarian. She chose to put her hand on the girl's head. 

“You are very welcome,” the man blinked away a gathering of tears in his eyes, “it’s a very rewarding job.”

It was warm outside by the time they were done and on their way home. They had made it just about halfway before Maria looked over and saw that the park they had passed on their way to the library was now empty. 

“Do you want to play for a little while?” She stopped both of them and pointed to the jungle gym that was brightly colored. 

Ellie looked at Maria before looking back at the equipment and walking towards it, handing the woman the stack of books that she had once again insisted on carrying. 

“I’ll sit right here,” she brought the books to a nearby bench, “You go ahead and play, when you’re done we can go home okay?”  

“Okay,” the girl looked nervous as she walked towards the monkey bars. 

Maria was just about to stand up and help the child reach the bars when she stopped. In an elegant display of athleticism, Ellie pulled herself up on the slick material of the support beam and shimmied her way up until the first bar was firmly in her grasp. In one fluid motion, she swung from the first bar to the second then the third. 

The girl continued to move across all of the equipment in this fashion, Maria was reminded that while it was beautiful, it had been trained into her and was never used in this capacity. The child was in the makings of becoming a trained killer, every move she made was practical for being a weapon of The Red Room. She was pulled away from watching the girl as her phone buzzed.

May: Still alive, in the south pacific. I’ll call at some point. 

Maria went to respond when a noise caught her attention and she looked up. A little boy was playing on the swings and accidentally kicked Ellie, knocking her to the ground. Both Maria and the boy's parents went to help. Unfortunately, the man got there faster and reached to pick Ellie up. 

That was all it took for the girl to panic and squeeze her eyes shut.

“Step back!” The Deputy Director called out to the man, a second too late.  

“Oh my God,” he stepped back as the portal swallowed the child whole. 

Her mind reeled as she looked around for the girl, they were outside and she had no idea how far the portal would move the child. 

“Ellie?” The Commander called out, no response. 

“I’m- I’m so sorry,” the man was looking around, “can I help?”

“No,” she pulled out her phone and dialed the number for the security department at SHIELD, “This is Deputy Director Hill. I’m putting in a missing person report.” 

“Yes, ma’am. What is the agent's name?” the woman on the other side of the phone asked. 

“Not an agent, her name is Elizaveta, she is a child, curly hair, just over 3 feet tall,” she spoke quickly and calmly into the phone as she continued to look around. 

“Okay,” the agent sounded unsure, “and how long has she been missing, ma’am?”

“She just went missing, 5 minutes at the most.”

“We can alert local authorities but I’m sorry, SHIELD does not interfere unless it’s an agent and over 2 hours,” the agent clarified. 

“Do you understand who you’re talking to?” The Commander snapped into the phone.

“Yes, ma’am, I’m sorry but you were the one who gave us the guidelines on-”

She didn't have time for this and hung up as she ran back towards the apartment. It was further than Maria had ever seen the girl teleport, if she wasn’t there she had no idea where she would be. 

“Good afterno-,” the doorman smiled from his place in the lobby as Maria sprinted by. 

“Come on come on come on,” she pressed the elevator button a few more times before throwing the door to the stairwell open. 

Her mind reeled faster and faster with every flight of stairs she covered,  she could be back at the library, or she could be on a highway or she could be back in The Center, or in Russia, or - she shoved her key into her door with shaking hands. 

“ELLIE?” She yelled into the apartment as she ran towards her bedroom door. 

There, sitting in the closet, was a terrified child who still had wood chips from the playground in her hair. 

“Ellie,” Maria dropped to the ground and pulled the girl into her chest, “you scared me, little bear.”

“Am sorry,” the girl’s voice shook, “man was grabbing me, and do not want to go back to that home.”

“I know,” the woman held the girl close, she needed to talk to her about safety. But for now, she was safe in her arms. 

“Came here,” the child pointed to the ground, “home.” 

“Good job,” Maria nodded and felt the girl sink into her touch at the praise, “you did the right thing.”

They sat like that until Ellie’s stomach started to growl and pull them both back into the present. 

“Come on, let’s have lunch,” the woman guided them both to the kitchen where she started making sandwiches. 

It was only after she had pulled the bread out that she let out a breath and looked at her hands which continued to shake. Maria Hill, the Deputy Director of SHIELD, was not a woman who rattled easily. And yet as she placed the pieces of bread on the plate in front of her, she realized that was exactly what she was. Rattled. With every breath she let out, a new image of what could have happened came to mind. Images that she hadn’t just come up with, but ones that were old memories painted in a new light.

Her heart continued to race after lunch, after dinner, and deep into the night where not even exhaustion could slow the rate. Cruel images of children she had seen killed in deployment now wore Eillie’s face, scenes of times when she almost didn’t make it home from missions now wracked her heart with guilt as if she had abandoned the child, explosions that happened in the Army now included the girl suffering along her brothers in the sand.    

She traced the tattoo on her hip until she couldn’t take it anymore and walked into the bathroom where she promptly threw up and rinsed her mouth out with sink water. Her eyes were still glazed over as she looked into the mirror, trying to find herself. Instead, she found a tired-looking brunette with a mess of hair that could rival Natasha’s.  Tasha . She hung her head and felt like she could breathe for the first time in hours at just the thought of the woman. 

Get it together Hill, don’t let others bring you peace . It was something she often reminded herself of, especially when thinking of the Russian.  You never know when they will leave and take the peace with them .  

She took one more swig of water, ran her fingers through her hair, and exited the small room. The light turned off and another one flickered on, this one coming from across the hall. 

“Hey, kid,” she knocked quietly on the door, the light clicking off immediately.

Ellie closed her eyes and shoved the flashlight under the small mountain of blankets piled on top of her.

“You should be sleeping,” Maria leaned against the door frame. 

“You should be sleep,” the child countered from her cocoon. 

“Maybe,” the woman walked further into the room until she got to the head of the bed, “scoot over, will ya?”

The child moved her body until she was pressed against the wall behind her, “how come you’re still awake?”

Ellie thought for a moment before answering, “too loud, too quiet,” she pointed to her head. 

The room itself was nearly dead silent, an occasional car would drive by the building but they were so high up, it was mostly muted. The woman recalled what Natasha had said about the Red Room dormitories, how they were always filled with other girls. She recalled her own life and how hard it was to sleep alone after months in the barracks. 

Her first instinct was to do what she had done when she had moved to the apartment, turning on the fan in the bathroom and keeping the door open so the constant noise filtered into the girl's bedroom. 

“How's that?” Maria once again sat down on the bed and watched as the girl wiggled her head out of the mass of blankets. 

“Good,” she answered after a few moments of listening to the white noise. 

“Now what part up here is too loud,” the brunette tapped the girl's head. 

“Did not like that man today,” she tugged lightly on a curl and looked at Maria, “did not like him.”

“Because you thought he was going to take you back to Russia?” she parroted what the girl had told her earlier. 

“Yes,” the child sighed, “do not want to go back that home.”

“What’s rule number one?”

“Ria keeps me safe.”

“That’s right, and that means I won't ever let someone take you back there,” it was a promise she would keep, there was no way this little girl would ever have to go back to the Room. 

Ellie stuck out her pinky finger, Maria offered hers in return, “I promise.”

For the second time in the last 12 hours, the two of them sat with each other. This time, however, it wasn’t the girl's stomach growling that brought Maria out of the trance, it was her soft snoring. She knew that she could get up and leave the girl to sleep, but something kept her there.

10 minutes passed, then 20, then a full hour, Maria continued to lie next to the girl and focus on her soft features. There were scars on the child’s face, small ones that had jagged edges along her forehead and one on her jaw. She had a handful of freckles that were too light to see from any further distance, and her eyelashes were long and laid gently on her cheek. It was only after Maria looked at the clock that she realized, for the first time in hours, her heart had slowed down. Someone else had brought her peace without even trying. 

Monday: a day that Maria Hill was quite fond of, even if it was arguably the busiest day of the week for her. As was the case on this Monday which led her to almost miss the outline of shoes on the other side of her door. Almost. She looked up from the report she was signing off on and paid attention to the shoes obscuring the light from creeping under her office door. Shoes that she could recognize from their small size and lack of noise.  Tasha . 

The first thought that crossed her mind was that whatever this conversation was about to entail, was serious. Enough for the Russian to use the door rather than an air vent, or a shared lunch table. Maria leaned back in her chair and waited, as did the woman on the other side of the door who finally knocked once, twice, then after a slight hesitation, a third time. 

“Come on in, Romanoff,” the Commander called from her desk.

She watched the woman open the door, looking a little worse for wear since their last conversation. Her braids were slightly fuzzy either from fighting during her mission or sleeping in them after her mission, the bags under her eyes were just dark enough to need makeup to cover them. The glint in her eyes was nearly gone. 

“Signed and sealed summer schedules with Laura Barton's approval,” the woman handed over two envelopes with a lazy smile.

The Commander had received a cryptic call the night before from Mrs. Barton which ended in something about summer plans, she chalked it up to this being what the mom of two was referring to.  

“Thank you,” Maria took the documents “how was the mission?”

The redhead shrugged and sighed, “lots of night work.”

“Want to take a break then?” she motioned to the chair the Russian always sat in.

“Sure you can still see me behind all these?” Natasha pointed at the stack in front of her.

“Those can get shredded for all I care,” Maria huffed, “they’re all requests from oh I don't know, about 100 scientists who want to do testing on Ellie.”

“Jeeze, you going to let them?”

“No, she’s going to see Fitzsimmons and that’s it. I don’t trust anyone else,” there was a protective edge to her voice as she picked up the stack and threw them all in the recycling bin by her foot. 

“How is she?” Natasha leaned back in her chair, raising one leg close to her chest. 

“Simmons? She’s good, I mean you know Jemma she-” the Commander tried to push past the subject.

“Ellie.” The Russian wasn’t falling for it. 

“She’s… she’s okay. The routine is helping, the meds are helping, the advice you gave has actually been the most helpful, so thank you for that,” Maria looked at the woman across from her who bowed her head, “but she is having a hard time. She’s had a rough few nights which lead to rough days which leads to anxiety about me, which leads to rough nights and the cycle continues.” 

“She has anxiety about you?”

“She has anxiety about everything,” the brunette sighed, “she doesn't know how to trust anyone and so she doesn’t engage with other kids and when they get curious about her they get too close, and then the Room kicks in.”

“Shit,” Natasha pulled her knee closer to her chest, “has she hurt anyone?”

“No, not more than what’s normal for a 5-year-old because the staff knows to keep an eye out and has pulled her off and sent her here most days,” she eyed the couch, “today is the first day she hasn’t been brought in before 2pm, so fingers crossed ya know?”

The redhead looked at the couch and nodded, “Anything I can do to help?”

The question caught the Commander off guard, “You’re supposed to be in here so that I can ask  you  that question.” 

“And we both know I’m going to refuse it,” the Russian looked away from Maria.

“You’re going to need help, more than I can offer. You’re going to need a full team to take this down Tasha, we don’t know how deep this goes,” she typed a code into her computer, resetting all security so they could have the conversation in private, “I can help but I’m only one person.” 

“I don’t want your help,” Natasha continued to advert her eyes, finding a new fascination with the grain of Maria’s desk. 

“You need my help.”

“I have to do this alone. I fucked up the first time, I’m not letting that happen again,” the green-eyed woman shook her head. 

“ SHIELD  fucked up the first time, you and Barton did your jobs. You did exactly what you were asked to do, you-”

“I was sloppy and weak. I fucked up Hill and I won’t- I  can’t  do that again,” she looked up to face the woman behind the desk, “you just talked about how bad it is for the kid after 5 years. You saw how hard it was for me when I got out after 18 years. Now, how bad do you think it is for a 20-year-old?”

“Tasha… I want to help you.”

“You can’t because everything you have to offer is through SHIELD,” the words stung. 

“That’s not true,” Maria spoke quietly. 

“It should be. It’s the only way you can keep yourself safe. You stay away and you let me do this alone. You stay safe,” the Russian’s eyes went distant again. 

“And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“How do you stay safe, how do you stay…”  here .

“I’ll be okay, I always am,” and to her credit, the woman did seem to outlive the death around her. Much to the dismay of the Commander who truly believed the few gray hairs she had were a result of the near-death experiences from Natasha Romanoff (and a few from Barton). 

“I still want to help,” the blue-eyed woman needed Natasha to hear that. 

“Once things start going south you’re going to want to involve SHIELD.”

“Why do things have to go south?” she was already planning for worst-case scenarios, the thought coiled Maria’s stomach. 

“Because Hill, it’s me. It’s my life. Things always go south and this time, I can’t let SHIELD pull me out when they do.” Her eyes were filled with rage but behind that, sadness, “I have to see it through, I have to get her out of there, no matter what. I will do anything it takes, if I involve SHIELD, half of those options get taken away from me.” 

There was a silence that followed the last sentence, one that carried truth. 

“I want to help, if you share with me what you already have then I can work on it after hours and get you closer to ending this and getting her out of this,” at the mention of the girl, Natasha visibly tensed. 

“I can't. As soon as I give you what I have, I make you part of this and not only does that put a target on your back from the Red Room, it also makes you an accomplice if this gets out of hand.” The redhead put both her feet on the ground and looked like she was about to get up. 

Maria knew that she couldn’t argue this, it was one thing to jeopardize her own safety, it was another to put Ellie back on the map.

Natasha stood up and made her way to the office door “and if there’s one thing we need in this world, it’s Maria Hill to take care of all the broken widows that keep getting dropped at her door.”

“Then let that be how I help,” the words tumbled out of her mouth before Maria herself fully understood what she meant, “if something goes wrong. If you can’t get out, you send her to me.”

Green eyes met blue as the spy turned from the door.

“If you can’t get out, you send Yelena to me.” 

Natasha left her spot by the door and in 4 short strides, she found herself in front of Maria, her hands reaching to cup the woman's face before they fell back to her sides. It would be a lie to say the brunette didn’t miss the almost contact, it took restraint for her not to tug the woman’s hands back up and place them on either side of her face as they had many times before. This time, however, was different, Natasha was clearly showing restraint she hadn't in the past, which meant the Commander had to as well.

“Thank you,” the redhead took a step back, and then another, and then turned and exited the room. 

At that moment, their relationship changed. From co-workers to friends, from friends to friends with benefits, from friends with benefits to maybe something more, but now it seemed, they were back to coworkers. Maria swallowed hard and did what she did best, she continued to work until it was time to pick Ellie up from The Center. Ignoring the ache in her chest as she shoved a piece of gum in her mouth. 

She walked down the corridor after 5pm for the first time, trying to focus solely on the child at hand and not the sadness that still stung from her encounter with Natasha. The Center was busier this time of day and so the Deputy Director waited by the large window as other agents signed their children out. 

Her eyes scanned the window of the space, falling quickly on the child she knew the best. Ellie’s eyes were already on Maria by the time she found her. The girl sat alone at the longest table in The Center, a book Maria recognized as the one she had brought from the library opened in front of her as she gave a lopsided smile to Maria, one that the woman returned with a wave. It was the first thing that had made her smile since that afternoon. 

“Just oneee second,” Grace was typing away at the computer in front of her, “-oh hi Maria.”

“Hey,” the brunette took the pen and signed the child out on the clipboard, “how was she today?”

“She had a pretty good day, seems like the weekend was good to her,” the blonde smiled and clicked her mouse a few times, “she told me about how you took her to the library.”

“She mention the part where she scared the shi-... heck out of me and teleported home?” Maria took the end-of-day report from the woman in front of her. 

“Somehow that did not come up,” Grace smiled.

“Yeah, she’s sneaky like that,” the brunette watched the little girl walk over to her backpack, “while I’m here, can I put down an emergency contact?”

“Of course,” the woman turned around to a large filing cabinet and pulled out the girl's record, “I’ll go get her ready to go while you fill that out.”

Maria stepped aside and let other parents check their kids out, the line was down to just the Commander by the time she finished filling out the information. 

“Hey kid,” Maria put her hand on the girl's head as she came through the half door, “here you go.”

She handed the form back to the blonde who blinked a few times, “ya know… this was not who I was expecting.”

“Oh yeah? And who were you expecting?” she watched as the girl fidgeted with her backpack straps and then leaned her head against Maria’s leg.  

“Well, I thought that you and Agent Romanoff- sorry I should not be feeding into the gossip with you two,” the blonde's cheeks blushed. 

“It’s okay, we get that a lot but we're just-” she didn’t know what to call her and Natasha anymore, “we just work together a lot.” 

“Well, if that’s the case and you ever feel like it, I have most weekends off and love going to the library,” Grace took the form and filed it back into the cabinet. 

“I will um-” Maria chuckled, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Did I just get rejected by the Deputy Director who just wrote with the Director's name down for your emergency contact?” the woman leaned over the counter and asked Ellie who smiled and shrugged. 

“No no, I just- it's a lot, this whole parenting thing and we're trying to get into a routine- listen,” Maria started to ramble, “when I said I’ll keep it in mind, I meant it. But don’t expect it to be this weekend.”

“Breathe Maria, I was just messing with you,” the blonde smiled, “but it would be nice if you at least gave it a little thought. You know where to find me.”

“I do,” now it was the brunette's turn to blush, “say bye to Miss Grace, Ellie.”

“Bye Miss Grace,” the child tugged on Maria to leave, waving behind her. 

The two walked down the corridor and towards the parking garage, towards Maria’s work car that she now referred to (reluctantly) as her car. Her original had somehow become Fury’s “commuter” car with one email and a handoff of keys. 

“How was your day?” the brunette buckled in the child who, for the first time, didn’t protest at all. 

“Was okay,” Ellie squirmed as the last buckle clicked into place. 

“You stayed for the whole day today, that’s pretty cool,” Maria started the car and watched the child shrug behind her, “What do you want for dinner?”

Ellie raised her hands up and touched the tips of her fingers together, “little meat.”

“Meatballs?” They had them the week before, it was the Commander's only guess. 

“Um, yes.”

“We can do that,” the woman nodded, “what was your favorite part of today?”

“Read and when you come.”

It was both sweet, and sad to hear the sentence. The sentence that would continue to be the child's answer for the rest of the week. Each day Maria would come to the Center and look in the window, each day she would find big green eyes looking back at her, and each day, when asked what Ellie’s favorite part of the day was, the answer was a little voice that said: “read and when you come.”

When Friday came around, Maria walked up to the glass window, expecting to find Ellie’s eyes staring back or glancing over whatever book was in front of her. However, today was different. Rather than the child sitting alone at the long table, she was sitting next to a little boy who was talking while they both colored. He made a large movement with the hand that wasn’t holding a marker and Maria held her breath, ready to run in and break up a fight as his hand accidentally got closer to Ellie’s face. 

Once again, the Commander was surprised. Rather than lunge at the boy who unexpectedly entered her personal space, the girl simply leaned out of the way and nodded while she continued to color. The boy laughed and talked while he readjusted his body to give Ellie more room. 

“Commander Hill, right?” a man in scrubs stuck out his hand, effectively breaking Maria out of her trance.

“Right,” she shook his hand back and raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m Dominic Ruiz, we met briefly at the last Christmas party, my wife is Agent Ruiz,” he smiled and while Maria didn’t remember him, she knew his wife. 

Agent Ruiz had been injured on a recent assignment, the Commander was pretty sure she had sent flowers or signed a card for the woman. 

“Right, of course, how is she?” Maria turned to face the man who nodded and smiled.

“She’s good…healing ya know? She was put back on desk duty today which is why our little boy is back in the Center,” the man pointed at the boy who was still talking to Ellie, “I didn’t know you had one?”

“Oh, I-” she went to correct the man before letting it go, “yeah, Ellie. Blue astronaut shirt.”

“Ah, I’ll say sorry in advance then,” the man chuckled, “Liam probably hasn’t let her get two words in. Kid likes to talk.”

The Deputy Direct watched as the little boy was indeed still talking but the girl next to him didn’t seem to mind at all. 

“That’s probably why Ellie is sitting with him, she doesn’t really like to talk but will listen to every word,” Maria watched as Liam tapped the desk to get Ellie's attention ( wonder if he had to learn the hard way not to tap the girl herself ) and then pointed to his dad. 

The girl's eyes looked at the man before falling on Maria. Her smile was small as she placed the markers back in their box and walked over to where her backpack and lunch box were hanging. 

The Commander followed the man into the Center where he signed his child out first before handing her the pen. The room was louder than it had been in previous days, but still, the chatter from the little boy was clear. Ruiz wasn’t joking when he said the boy liked to talk. 

“-and so I could probably bring it Monday if you want to see it if you’re here again. I’ll be here because my mommy isn’t as hurt anymore and my daddy isn’t working night shift which means I’ll be here if you’re here and then you can see it,” he paused and looked at the girl who was walking up next to him nodding, “okay cool so let me check with them and then Monday I can show it to you but only if I don’t forget over the weekend-”

“Liam, buddy” his father chuckled, “take a breath.”

The boy breathed in a deep breath as instructed and looked back at Ellie who was standing next to him behind the half-wall door, “Sorry, I get excited sometimes and forget to let everyone talk.” 

It clearly had been a sentence not only had he said before, but one that had probably been told to him a number of times. 

“It is okay,” the girl's accent seemed to catch the older Ruiz off guard, his eyebrows raising as he opened the gate.   

“I’ll see you on Monday!” the boy smiled as he stepped towards his father. 

“Monday,” Ellie echoed with a lopsided smile and a thumbs up with both her index finger and thumb. 

“Nice seeing you Commander Hill,” Dominic waved as they exited the space. 

“You too, tell your wife I said I hope she's off desk duty soon,” she waved back. 

Maria looked down and took the little girl's hand as she held it up, putting her little fingers in the palm of the woman’s hand. The two of them walked out of the building in near silence as they did most days. It wasn’t until Maria's hand finished buckling the girl in that she finally spoke, asking the same question she always did but expecting a different response this time. 

“Did you have a good day today?” she waited to see if she would get the usual shrug. 

“Yes,” the girl nodded and ran her fingers over the buckles on her chest. 

“I’m glad to hear that, kid,” Maria closed the door and got into the driver's seat, checking the rearview mirror where she found the girl with a smile on her face. 

They drove with the music playing, the child kicking her feet and nodding along to whatever song was playing. It wasn’t until they were about a block away from the apartment that Ellie finally spoke up. 

“Made a friend,” she smiled and looked out the window. 

“I saw that, do you know his name?” the woman tried to “facilitate the conversation” as she had read in a parenting article. 

“Liam,” Ellie nodded. 

“Do you know what Liam likes?” She passed the intersection that they normally took back to the apartment, having a different destination in mind.  

“He likes space and firetruck and Hot… Hot tires?” her voice was unsure. 

“Hot wheels?” The woman offered.

“Yes, Hot wheels,” the child nodded and looked back at their apartment, “home?”

“I thought we could go out for a treat, how does ice cream sound?” Maria watched the rearview mirror at the red light.

Ellie nodded and continued to move to the music that filled the car. They pulled into the spot and Maria helped the girl out of her car seat. The woman opened up the door to the shop and pretend not to notice how Ellie’s head whipped around at the sound of the bells on the door, immediately the child stuck to Maria’s side. 

“Alright, how about you try to order?” The Commander asked the child and looked at the worker behind the counter who smiled. 

In the last few weeks, the girl had really only had contact with a handful of people and according to parenting books that Maria read at night, being able to interact in a social setting can help with past trauma. She watched as the girl fidgeted with her hands and looked at the options, there were too many for a child who had never had any. 

“There’s 2 peanut butter options, I bet you would like both the peanut butter blaster or the peanut chocolate chunk. How about you go ahead and tell them one scoop of whichever one you’d like?” Maria spoke clearly to the girl who struggled to remain calm. 

“I um… I… one-” the girl's breathing started to increase “please… one…” her eyes started to close tight as Maria placed her hand on the girl's shoulder. 

“One second,” she held up a finger to the teenager behind the counter who nodded, “Ellie, baby you’re okay.”

She crouched down until she was at eye level with the child who opened her eyes, “Breathe in, ready? 1… 2… 3… 4. Good, hold it for a second, now out for 1… 2… 3… 4… 5. Good. Good job little one.”  

Ellie breathed in again and held it before breathing out as Maria ran her thumbs over the girl's cheeks, “you can do this, one more try and if it doesn’t come out that’s okay. We can try again next time.”

The girl went through one more cycle and then looked at the teenager, “please one… one scoop please.”

Maria mouthed “kids size” to the worker who smiled and nodded, “What flavor would you like?”

“Um.. please peanut butter blast,” the girl’s eyes were wide as she looked up to Maria who nodded encouragingly. 

“Sure thing, one peanut butter blaster, and for you?” he looked at Maria

“A scoop of mint chocolate chip in a cup please,” she took the girl's hand and walked to the cash register.  

Maria guided them back into the car, this time she opened up the passenger seat, confusing the child who had already made her way towards the door she normally sat next to. 

“Come on up here,” she beckoned the girl who eyed her suspiciously but still climbed up into the seat. 

The blue-eyed woman sat in the driver's seat and rolled all the windows down, she turned the key to accessory mode and turned up the music, “you have to sit in your car seat when were driving. But when we’re just hanging out you can sit up here with me. How does that sound?”

Ellie smiled and sat on her knees so she could see over the dashboard. 

“Do you like your ice cream?” Maria asked an obvious question, watching as the little girl continued to lick the frozen treat.    

“Yes,” there was a trail of chocolate on the girl's face that the Commander wiped away, causing the girl to only flinch slightly.  Progress . 

The two continued to listen to music and eat until Maria’s phone vibrated, “Hi Fury.”

“Hill, you’re off next week,” his voice was clipped and to the point. She was certain she hadn’t put in any request for leave but then thought about the conversation she had earlier that week with one Laura Barton. 

“Sir-” she started.

“And the week after you will be on a week of work from home. Non-negotiable unless you want HR to start digging through other leave time you have rejected.” Fury threatened.

She most certainly did  not  want that.  

“And I’m guessing this off time is to be taken in Iowa?” she sighed. 

“That’s why you’re my right hand, Hill. Now put me on speakerphone.”

“Okay, you're on,” Maria looked over to the girl next to her who tilted her head in confusion. 

“Hi, little miss,” at the sound of Fury’s voice Ellie smiled. 

“Hi, Fuzzy,” she wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand. 

“Okay, that’s all Hill.” Fury was back to his gruff voice as he hung up. 

“How do you feel about a trip? We can go see some friends and get out of the city for a little bit.” It wasn’t really a suggestion but Maria immediately started thinking of how to get out of the trip as soon as she saw how distressed the girl looked. 

“Liam?” Ellie blinked a few times with a frown on her face. 

Of course, of course, the child would think about the feelings of someone else first, “I’ll send a message to his parents and let him know that you won't be at The Center for a little while.”

The girl relaxed and looked out the window, “where?”

“Iowa.” Maria waited while Ellie was deep in thought for a few more moments.

“Iowa,” the little girl nodded.  

Chapter Text

“You’re doing that thing again,” there was a half chuckle in his voice as he tossed a coaster in her direction. 

“What thing?” she was pretty sure she knew what “thing” her husband was talking about but needed more time to come up with a good excuse.

“That thing where you obsess over the stuff that no one else notices.”

“Yeah well…” she looked around the chaos that was her house, “I just want her to be as comfortable as possible.” 

“It’s Ria babe, she's been here more times than I can count including the first 48 hours after you had Lila. I’m sure she’s not even going to notice the burn hole in the curtains,” Clint shrugged.

“The what?” she spun around and looked at the drapery before throwing a pillow at the archer's head, “Don't mess with me like that!”

Clint smiled and caught the soft item with ease, Laura rolled her eyes and wondered just how much of that was a joke. She snatched the pillow back out of his hands and put it back on the couch then fluffed it once more, and placed it down again.

“It’s not really Ria that I’m worried about anyway-” 

“Clearly.”

“Thin ice Mr. Barton, you’re on thin ice,” she smiled and crouched in front of the entertainment center, taking stock of what movies they had and which ones were space related, “give me the run down again?”

Clint leaned on the wall and began to recite what he recalled from the carrier and the little pieces he had picked up from his partner, “she’s five, she doesn’t really talk, she likes juice and… I don’t know she has curly hair like Tasha.”

Laura smiled and kissed her husband’s cheek. She loved that he had thought that the most important parts of the girl were her love of juice and hair type, not the fact that the girl was from the Red Room or that she could teleport. She loved her husband.

“Right so we have about,” she shook her arm until the watch face on her wrist was upright, “an hour and a half until they’re here. That leaves enough time for you to mow the grass and for me to make cookies.”

“I thought you wanted me to clean up the playroom?” as if on cue, there was a crash and a burst of laughter from the playroom upstairs.

“I wrangle them and make them help out unless you want me to mow?” she smiled at the look of horror on the blond's face.

“Never again, not after the massacre that you left during the Cross mission.”

“You’re being dramatic, it wasn't that bad-”

“You cut it down to the dirt.”

“You were gone for a long time, I needed one less thing to worry about-”

“While you were pregnant.”

“Lila now loves the smell of cut grass-”

“During the hottest part of the day.”

She raised a single eyebrow towards her husband who laughed and kissed her, “I’ll get right on it.”

Laura pulled out all of the supplies she needed to make cookies and noticed that she was an egg short. She walked back through the living room and up the stairs towards the laughing that was still coming from the playroom. 

“Hello, little gremlins!” She took in the sight in front of her, the room that had been mostly clean that morning was now littered with blocks that her son was knocking down in his best Godzilla impression, causing his little sister to laugh hysterically. 

“We’re gonna clean up before Lellie gets here, don't worry!” Cooper reassured his mother. 

“I’m sure  Ellie ,” she corrected the name, “would appreciate that.”

“How about this, you race down to the chicken coop and see if there are any eggs, and your sister and I can clean this up,” Laura reached down and brushed her son’s hair out of his face, “then when you come back we can make some cookies.”

“Okay mommy,” the little boy got up and ran down the stairs with the promise of cookies. 

“Can you help bring those blocks over to the bin, baby girl?” She crouched down and picked up blocks herself and watched as Lila took two blocks in her hand and walked over to the bin that held the rest.  

Time moved faster as the Barton Family waited for their visitors, the hour and a half that they originally had was now down to a matter of minutes as Laura pulled the last batch of cookies out of the oven. Her house was still a disaster in her eyes, she looked around for any last-minute things to clean up. 

“You’re overthinking it,” Clint pulled a shirt over his head as he walked down the staircase. 

“I just want her to be as comfortable as possible,” Laura pushed the still-damp hair out of his face, “you need a haircut, Mr. Barton.”

“Well my stylist has been booked for weeks,” the archer teased. Laura was the only person he would let near his head, or more specifically, his ears. 

“I’ll have to see if there are any openings, I heard she has a soft spot for blonds,” she cradled his face and brought him in for a deep kiss. 

“Even if they can’t pay?” Clint kissed the spot just below her ear. 

“Oh I’m sure we could figure out a way for you to pay,” the brunette tilted her head to the side to allow for more access. 

“Mommy! They- ew,” Cooper threw the front door open. 

“Shh your sister is still napping,” Laura met her oldest at the door and listened to the distinct sound of tires on gravel, “thank you for letting me know.”

“Remember Coop, she is a little different than other kids,” Clint joined the family and watched as Maria continued down the long driveway.

“Right, she’s only 5 and I’m going to be 8 so I have to look out for her like Lila,” the child continued to watch the car that was approaching. 

“That’s right,” Laura knew the reality that Ellie was the one who actually had the training to fight if need be, but she liked that her son took pride in taking care of others, “give her some space and let her come to you okay? No play fighting, and remember if she closes her eyes really tight you go and find an adult as soon as you can.” 

Maria pulled into one of the spots in the open garage and turned around to face the backseat for what Laura could only assume was a similar conversation to the one they were having with Cooper. The Commander got out of the car and opened up the backseat where a child who looked much smaller than 5 got out. Laura’s heart broke as she took in the sight of what could only be described as a truly terrified child soldier. 

Ellie’s eyes darted around until they locked with Cooper first, then Clint, then Laura where they lingered as she pressed her back into the side of the car. Maria held out a backpack that the child put on quickly and immediately grabbed the straps and pulled them tightly. She continued to scan her surroundings until Maria put another item into her hands, after that the girl seemed to calm slightly. 

“Oh, Clint,” Laura’s memory was flooded with an older widow who had done the same thing the first time she was at the farm. Only this one was significantly younger and didn’t have the skill of passing the looks off as anything other than finding safety. 

“I know,” he pulled her against him and planted a kiss on the side of her head. 

“She has curly hair like Auntie Nat!” Apparently, all Barton men cared about hair texture. 

The boy’s voice was loud enough to carry over to the garage where Ellie snapped her head in the direction of the house and looked at the child. Clint fidgeted next to her at the intense stare from the child. He was normally the designated pack mule when it came to carrying bags in, this time they didn’t approach and let the two come to them. 

“Hey guys,” Maria looked tired as she dropped her old Army duffle bag on the porch, “Ellie this is Laura and Cooper and Clint. Do you remember him from when you first left that home?”

Laura picked up on how the woman had called the Red Room “that home” and smiled as softly as she could amidst her heart aching. The girl continued to stare at the ground but nodded slightly while she played with, what Laura could now tell was a flashlight.  

Cooper looked up towards his parents and then back to the girl, “I like your flashlight.”

Ellie stopped fiddling with it for just long enough to look at the boy in front of her before clicking it on and off once. 

“That’s Alyona, huh Ellie?” Maria prompted and Laura smiled at the name. 

“Did you get to name it yourself?” She asked the little girl who glanced up again before nodding, “you’re a clever little one.” 

Ellie blushed and smiled ever so slightly, Maria knitted her brows together. 

“Aлена is a Russian name that means light,” Laura clarified as she pulled the information from deep in her memory. Knowing she was right as the child’s smile grew. 

“Want me to help you carry your bag upstairs?” Clint asked and all three adults pretended not to notice the girl flinch at his voice. 

“We got it, thanks. Lila napping?” Maria picked up the bag and followed the family into the house. 

“Yeah, but she should be up in the next half hour so don't worry about being loud,” she clarified but had a feeling that noise wasn’t going to be an issue with the two of them. 

“Got it, we’ll be back down in a little bit,” Maria faked a smile that didn’t quite reach the tired eyes that lacked their normal blue clarity. 

“Take your time,” she returned the smile and watched as the Commander guided Ellie up the stairs. 

As soon as the door clicked shut Laura guided her own family into the kitchen where she let out a deep breath, “Coop how about you go have some tablet time while your dad and I talk.”

“Okay mommy,” the boy rarely got screen time and didn’t need any further prompting to run into the living room and find the device. 

“She’s really little, babe,” she spoke quietly to her husband who nodded. 

“She is, but that’s why she’s here. You put weight on ex-widows better than anyone else I know,” he joked and leaned on the counter next to her. 

“Clint she’s- she’s so little-” Laura wasn’t sure why, but it was all she could say, over and over. Her voice caught in her throat, she imagined her own children going through what Ellie had gone through. She was only slightly bigger than her 3-year-old who was fast asleep upstairs, never having worried about any of the horrors the ex-widow had faced. 

“I know,” the blond brought her into his arms again, “but she’s out now.”

“And Ria- shit Clint I can’t remember the last time I saw her that tired. LLQ maybe?” She tilted her head up and looked at her husband.  

“God I hated that mission,” he chuckled, “being a new parent is hard, doing it alone, with a kid from The Room? I can’t say I would even be standing at this point.”

Laura hummed in agreement and hoped that her friend could get some well-deserved rest while she was at the farm. She had called Fury the week before and cashed in a favor (she now had 4 left) to get the Deputy Director two weeks off, he had negotiated down to a week off and a week of work from home. He never specified which home, the brunette took it as a win. 

“You know where Tasha is?” she tried to ask as innocently as possible. 

“Stop meddling.” Clint rolled his eyes.

“I’m not meddling, I’m just curious because Ria just went straight to their room and I was thinking that if Tasha comes back soon we’ll have to move Ellie into the extra room. Just wondering if I should go and make up that bed-”

“First of all, you already made that bed with fresh sheets. I saw you carry the extra set up there this morning.”

Busted. 

“Second of all, Tasha won't be back for a while.”

“So,” she raised her eyebrow, “you do know where she is.”

“I know that she’s busy and not- well I think she's not, in this country anymore,” her husband scratched the back of his neck, “I do however know that you’re meddling.”

“It’s not meddling if they are in love-” she started.

“I don’t think that’s an actual rule-” Clint started. 

“Rules? I love rules. Which one?” Maria emerged from the living room, the child in tow. 

“Rules about how you could possibly keep someone this sweet away from your closest friends for almost a month! There has to be a rule about not doing that,” she tried to cover, if Maria didn’t believe her, she was too tired to say anything and just smiled in agreement.  

“Sounds like I’m a rule breaker then,” the woman chuckled, “we were wondering if maybe Cooper wanted to join us for a snack?” 

Laura thought back to how when Clint first told her about the child, he had mentioned her feeding tube and while that seemed to no longer be present, she was sure the feeding regime was still intense. 

“Of course, let me go pull him off the tablet. Babe, can you cut up some apples?” she asked on her way out of the kitchen. 

“Let me guess, you like peanut butter too?” Clint asked the child who still shied behind Mria, his voice fading out as Laura approached her son. 

“Hi, are you at a good pausing point?” she watched as Cooper slowly pulled his vision away from the screen in front of him, “Ellie is going to have a snack and I bet your sister would want one too when she’s up.” 

“One more minute and then this part is over,” the child’s eyes were back on the screen. 

“Okay,” she kissed the top of his head and went back into the kitchen where Ellie and Maria were already sitting at the kitchen table, “ Do you want juice with your snack ?”

The girl’s eyes (which were already adorably large in Laura’s opinion) grew wide at the question spoken in Russian. Ellie nodded and looked to Maria who smiled and whispered loudly, “told ya.” 

She filled up two cups with apple juice and placed one in front of the girl who knelt on the bench closest to the wall. The odd way of sitting didn’t just catch her attention, but that of her husband as well who had a fond smile on his face as he brought the sliced fruit and peanut butter over to the table. 

“It could be a coincidence but my gut reaction says that it’s a trained thing,” Maria had caught the two Barton’s staring.

Natasha sat in the exact same position any time she was on a flat surface, on her knees, ankles crossed at the back. Laura remembered thinking how uncomfortable it must have been when she first saw her do it, but after insisting that it wasn’t, the older woman stopped questioning it. 

Before they could talk about it anymore, the Barton’s oldest child made an appearance, “hi, I’m Cooper from when we met at the front door.” 

Ellie glanced up quickly, and then focused once more on the juice in front of her, “hi.”

Laura relaxed a little more as she heard the very sweet voice come out of the very sweet child for the first time. She watched as Cooper sat in his normal spot on the bench across from the newest addition and reached for the apples on the shared plate. 

“Do you like Ben10?” The boy was obsessed with the shape-shifting cartoon. 

Elie shrugged and took a piece of fruit after watching Cooper dip his in the peanut butter.

“Ellie doesn’t know too many cartoons but maybe you can show her later?” Maria offered. 

“Yeah I can show you later if Mommy says I can watch, I get to watch one before bed a lot of the time so maybe you and me could do that,” the boy took another bite and watched as the girl in front of him nodded, “or we can watch what you like to watch. What do you watch?”

Clint came up from behind her and massaged Laura’s shoulders, she suddenly realized how tense she had been and relaxed. She had a good kid, and everything was going to be okay. 

“Um,” Ellie tapped her fingers together in a rhythmic motion, “watch space shows.”

“I don’t know that much about space,” Cooper said quietly, “but you don’t know about Ben10 so we can teach each other.”

She had a really good kid. 

“Mommy!” Lila yelled from the top of the staircase. The rule was, she wasn't allowed to walk down the staircase by herself and so the child promptly called to her mother from across the house. 

“You have a good nap, sweetheart?” Her hands wrapped around her youngest as she propped her up on her hip and descended the staircase. 

Laura deposited her daughter into her husband's lap with practiced ease as he continued to joke with Maria who was perched carefully next to Ellie. 

“I’m tellin’ you, Ria, they were literally using juggling as a weapon,” he took a slice of apple from his son and crunched it loudly before taking another and giving it to Lila to chew on. 

“Like throwing bowling pins at you?” the brunette laughed. 

“Yeah but some of them were explosive- and well… some were just regular but those hurt to get hit with ya know?” her husband rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m not saying it didn’t hurt, I’m just saying that in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t sound like the worst mission you’ve been on. He had a lot on his plate in the beginning with the both of you,” the Commander’s face fell from joking to somber. 

“He insisted! I’m telling you, Phil is the first person to bring-” the blond caught himself, and soon his face matched that of the woman next to him, “Phil  was  the first person to bring up the fact that he wanted both of us on his team…”

Laura watched as Ellie put the slice of fruit that had been in her hand down on the table, seemingly having lost her appetite at the mention of the man. She wondered if the girl had been close with Phil or if she was just taking in the shift in energy she had no doubt been trained to detect. Maria gave the girl a soft smile and reached her hand out to hold the girls. 

“Daddy, can I show Ellie Ben10?” Cooper, oblivious to the conversation, finished the last of his juice. 

“If Mommy and Ria are okay with it,” the archer flashed a smile at his wife, of course, she had to be the bad guy.     

“One episode is okay with me,” she handed her daughter another apple slice and watched as Maria turned her head to the child. 

“Wanna hang out here or go watch a cartoon with Cooper?” the woman asked and after a moment where no verbal words were spoken, she added, “I’ll still be right here.”

Apparently, that was all the girl needed to hear as she got up and stood next to Cooper, waiting for him to lead them into the living room. Laura watched as the two children made their way into the adjacent room and then onto the couch where the girl knelt on a cushion and listened to the boy who chattered away next to her. 

As the afternoon moved along, she found herself watching the two older children less and less, and paying more attention to the brunette across from her who had a hawk-like quality as she watched over the kids.

“He had it coming with a name like that, I mean who really thinks ‘Hangman’ is a good villain name?” Maria asked while keeping her focus on Ellie. 

“I give him points for the pun, but I agree. Terrible name,” Clint laughed. 

“Hey, Ria?” Laura watched as the woman slowly shifted her gaze to the woman across from her, “she’s going to be okay if you take your eyes off her.”

“Yeah I know, I just-” the brunette blinked and took a sip of the beer in front of her. 

“The blocks aren't going to hurt her,” she smiled and watched as Lilia knocked her brother's tower over, getting a round of laughter from both Barton children. 

“It’s not her that I worry about,” Maria spoke quietly, “I haven’t seen her around anyone younger than her and she can get a little… particular.”

The sentence was enough to draw the attention of every adult to the little curly-haired child. Ellie had stacked a few blocks on top of each other and was watching as the siblings laughed again as Lila toppled another stack Cooper had built. Clint and Maria were both nervous about what was about to happen as they watched Lila get closer to Ellie’s blocks, both sighing in relief as the three-year-old walked back toward her brother. 

Laura, however, frowned as she watched the Russian child hunch her shoulders forward. She had clearly wanted to be part of the fun but didn’t know how to ask. And so Laura continued to watch Maria, who continued to watch Ellie, who continued to watch Lila until Clint got everyone's attention as he stood up and spoke. 

“Burger time, rugrats,” he smiled, “time to go grill and for you to get fresh air.”

The evenings were getting longer and warmer with the summer quickly approaching, something that Laura was immensely grateful for after a long winter of trying to keep the peace in their house. She stood up and joined her husband who had already grabbed the preformed patties from the fridge and was holding the door open to the backyard. 

“Want to join?” She looked over towards the brunette who was still watching Ellie.

“Yeah, yeah just give us a second,” Maria walked into the living room and helped the children put the blocks away. 

Sensing that they needed a moment of privacy, the younger woman joined her husband and children on the back deck. Immediately both kids bolted for the tire swing that the blond had hung the week prior. She wrapped her arms around her husband and closed her eyes, listening as he started the grill. 

“She’s like you were with Cooper before Lila was born and I was gone to Turkey,” he let out a deep breath.

She had been thinking the same thing. It was the first time Clint had left for a prolonged period of time (see: Clint Barton was undercover for 5 months in Istanbul) and she fell into being a single, paranoid, parent. It had taken days for her to finally let her guard down once the man was back, and then a few more weeks for her to actually trust anyone else with Cooper. It was stressful, it was demanding, and it was tiring. The same type of tiredness that she could see in the eyes of one of her closest friends. 

Laura hummed in agreement and opened her eyes, “she doesn’t know how to let anyone else help her.”

“Sometimes you gotta force the help onto them,” he started placing patties on the now hot grill, “Hey Ellie!”

Laura looked back into the house at the child who whipped her head in the direction of her name. She was standing in front of Maria who had knelt down next to her and was talking to her, at the sound of the name the woman turned her head too.

“Clint,” she released her husband from the hug and slapped his arm. 

“Sometimes you gotta force it, babe,” he reiterated, “Ellie, you like cheese?”

Maria, looking somewhat annoyed, grabbed the rest of her beer and joined the family outside, Ellie trailing behind her like a perfect shadow. 

“What do you think, kid? You like cheese?” the archer asked as the girl walked onto the deck and shrugged. 

“Did you like the grilled cheese I made you before we got on the plane?” Maria leaned against the railing and asked the girl who nodded, “want to go play on the swing?”

The two Barton children were both trying to sit in the swing, it would inevitably end with one of them falling out, and possibly tears, but she was going to let them figure that one out. She had missed the response from Ellie, probably because it wasn’t verbal, but watched as the child carefully walked down the steps off the desk and towards the other kids. 

“So, you two are good in Tasha’s room or-” she started to ask, unable to keep the topic to herself anymore.

“Shit, I didn’t even think. I shouldn’t have taken that room-” Maria looked at Laura who held her hand up.

“Don’t, it’s your room just as much as it’s Tasha’s. I just didn’t know if you wanted Ellie in the guestroom or with you?”  

It was the truth, the room had been Natasha’s ever since they bought the farm, but it quickly changed to both of theirs given how often they were in it together. In the beginning, Laura put fresh sheets on the beds in both guest rooms, but after a few visits, she noticed that while Maria would go to bed in the guest room, she would always catch her coming out of Natasha’s room in the morning. At some point, the two stopped going to bed in separate rooms, and at this point, there were equal amounts of both Natasha's and Maria’s spare clothes in the dresser. 

“She’ll be the most comfortable in the room with me,” the brunette said, watching as Ellie slowly approached the other children. Lila had run off to the chicken coop close by and was terrorizing the flightless avian, which left Cooper and Ellie to figure out the swing. 

“Alright Maria Hill, do your thing,” she leaned against the rail of the deck, “I know you have a million questions for me.”

“Not a million,” the blue-eyed woman's cheeks blushed ever so slightly, “but there are some that the parenting books don’t answer.”

“I can’t say that I’ll have an answer,” she watched as the taller woman nodded. 

“How long is too long to leave her at daycare? I feel like I’m at work all day and that I’m not giving her enough time with me-” Maria started to spiral.

“You do the best you can. Does she like daycare?” she countered with her own question.

“She just made a friend there, she seems like she likes it. I just feel like she should see me more maybe, I’m her- guardian,” the brunette changed her title at the last second.  You’ll get there , Laura thought.  

“Hey Coop!” she yelled to her son, “do you like spending time at school?”

“Yes? Except reading!” he yelled back from the swing that Ellie was eyeing. 

“See, and he’s there for 8 hours a day.” Laura smiled, “next question.”

“She hates brushing her teeth,” the Commander sighed. 

“Lila loves it, Coop hates it. When I come up with a solution, you’ll be the first to know,” she laughed, “just wait until you have to take her to the dentist, that will be a whole ordeal.” 

“I need to find a dentist for her-”

“She still has her baby teeth, you have time,” she smiled at her friend who was deep in thought, “do you have a pediatrician?”

“Yeah, Dr. Carter, she’s SHIELD we’re going in next month to get a refill of her prescription and check-up.”

“Oh Carter is great, she was Coop’s primary before I retired and we moved,” Laura looked at the house, thankful for how long they had been in it now, “She can get you a child psychologist referral too.”

“That’s the next step after we get into a routine,” Maria sighed, “we’ll see how that goes.”

“As bad as Tasha?” Clint asked from the grill. 

“God, I hope not, that was like herding wet cats for the first dozen sessions,” the woman took a drink from her beer and looked back to Laura, “have either of them ever had bullies?”

“Cooper has, Lila… were more concerned about being the bully,” as if on cue, the girl screeched from her spot by the chicken, “why?”

“There are these girls at The Center who started picking on her, taking her books I guess, and I want to fire their parents.”

Leave it to the Deputy Director to get people fired over hurting her kid's feelings, she tried to stifle her laugh, “have you talked to the people who work there? See what they are doing about it?”

“Yeah um Grace, she’s keeping an eye on it,” the brunette took another sip of her beer. 

Laura squinted, “what aren’t you telling me?”

“What? Nothing, no I just wanted to know if you knew anything about kids being bullied,” Maria tried to cover up. 

Before she could push the question, her son had one that caught her attention. 

“Do you want to swing, Lellie?” he was asking the green-eyed girl as he slowed his legs.

All three adults watched as Ellie stood next to the tire swing, nervously clenching her fists until Cooper got off the oversized tire and offered his spot. The curly-haired girl stood on her tiptoes until she reached the seat of the swing and sat down. Ellie wiggled her whole body as she tried to mimic the swinging motion she had seen from Cooper, however, she was much smaller and the tire only swung slightly. Clearly frustrated, the girl went to get up. 

“Wait,” Cooper stood in front of her and raised his hands, “Let me help you.”

The adults continued to stare as the oldest Barton child walked behind Ellie and slowly pushed her. He had done it many times with his younger sister and knew not to push too hard, but it wasn’t until the girl smiled that everyone let out a sigh. She slowly got higher and higher as Cooper pushed her and coached her to pump her legs. 

Then, like a symphony of bells, the girl started to laugh, light and airy as she tilted her head back. Every time gravity would pull the swing back toward the ground, the girl would giggle, her smile causing her eyes to squint in the late afternoon sun. Laura turned to comment on how cute the laugh was but paused as she saw the woman next to her quietly wipe away a tear. 

“I’ve never heard her laugh before,” Maria said, barely above a whisper. 

“Well, she’s got a good one,” Laura wrapped her arm around the Commander's shoulder and rested her head, “she’s got a good mom too.”

“Aw damn it,” Clint pulled them back to reality, “burned a burger… or three.”

“Mommy,” Lila stood at the bottom of the deck stairs and held up a collection of feathers. 

“Wow, look at those!” She retrieved her daughter and hoped the feathers had just been on the ground, and not actively connected to any of the chickens.  

“Hey you two, dinner’s almost ready!” Clint called out to the two older children. 

It happened in slow motion, Cooper had helped Ellie get off the swing but before she could find steady legs, she started to fall forward. One second she was headed toward the ground, and in the next her eyes were closed tightly and she was tumbling next to Maria. Everyone was silent until Ellie gave a lopsided grin. 

“You didn’t mean to do that, did you?” Maria was still wide-eyed as the girl shook her head. 

“WOAH!” Cooper threw his hands into the air, “That was amazing! Can you do it again??”

Ellie shrugged, “did not have dinner.”

Laura looked at her husband whose mouth was still open. 

“You okay?” Maria asked the girl who nodded and let out a deep breath, “tired?” the child nodded again and leaned against the woman’s leg, “let’s eat and see how you feel after.”

She let the two of them sit alone as she carried her own child into the house to set the dinner table, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. She knew that the girl could teleport, she knew, but seeing it in person was a whole different thing. It was jarring for her, she could only imagine how scary it was for the child to whom it happened to. 

The rest of the night had been quiet, it was obvious how much teleporting depleted the girl who was barely keeping her eyes open after dinner. Laura had just put Lila down for the night and rejoined her husband and friend who had finished cleaning up the kitchen and sat around the table. 

“I mean I think it would really fill out the backyard, plus it’s one less section for me to have to mow,” Clint had just brought another round of beers back to the table, “Right babe?”

“Talking about a pool?” She took a swig of her husband's drink. 

Maria nodded and opened up her own drink, glancing over at the kids who were watching Ben10 in the living room, “I think it’s a great idea.”

“Does she swim?” Clint looked at Ellie who had all but fallen asleep. 

“I highly doubt it,” the brunette answered, “we just recently learned that baths are warm.”

It was sentences like this that truly broke Laura’s heart, she knew the horrors of the Red Room but it was different seeing it firsthand with a child. 

“Shit even Tasha knew-” her husband started.

“That’s because Tasha was an adult when she defected. She had been going on solo missions for years and got a taste of what life was like outside The Room,” Maria took a swig of her beer, “Not to say that didn’t come with its own set of traumas with HoneyPot missions and lacking resources but… she’s 5. It’s different.” 

“How is she?” Laura knew it was a risky question.

“No clue, haven’t heard from her in days,” the Commander took another sip, wiping some of the condensation off the bottle. 

“No videos?” Laura asked, knowing that the Russian would send at least one to the Deputy Director a day. 

Maria shook her head, another sip. 

“She still in Europe?” Clint asked this time.

Maria shrugged, another sip. 

“Why don’t you go give her a call, just see how she’s doing,” it was the first question that got a real response. 

“I-” the woman looked at her, and then glanced at the child who was now asleep on the couch.

“We’ll watch her and get you if she needs anything,” she tried to encourage with a warm smile. 

“I don't even know where she is, she could be sleeping-”

Clint laughed. 

Maria narrowed her eyes, “or getting information… Or-”

“Ria, it’s you,” the blond stated as if that answered everything. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the Commander raised an eyebrow. 

“It means she’ll answer, even if she’s sleeping, even if she’s on recon.”

The woman glanced towards the couch once more before grabbing her beer bottle by the neck and opening up the back door. Laura watched as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and ran a hand through her hand before calling Natasha. She waited with bated breath until the brunette herself seemed to let out her own held breath before she started talking. 

“See,” Clint nodded, “she always answers Ria.”

Laura glanced once more at the woman seated on the stairs of her deck who had the smallest smile on her face, “I know, it’s the two of them who still need to figure that out.”

“I don’t understand, it’s like they’re purposefully trying to not be together,” the archer sighed and leaned back in his chair. 

“They both think they’re saving the other by not being together,” she had talked to both women enough to know that. 

“Well, they’d be saving me a whole lot of grey hairs by just sucking it up and dating.”

“Not everyone is as lucky as us, babe,” she curled into his side, finding comfort in the arm that draped over her shoulder, “they’ll figure it out.”

The married couple looked at the children who were now both asleep on the couch, the cartoon running in the background. It was easy to forget the horrors of the girl’s life as she rested her head on the armrest of the couch, her breathing slow, she looked just like the boy next to her. She hoped, above everything else, that Ellie would continue to grow and start a life that was just like the boy next to her. 

“She must be really tired to be okay with sleeping that close to another kid,” Laura commented, she thought about how hesitant Natasha was to sleep in front of people.

“I think that’s why she's sleeping,” Clint’s voice vibrated through his chest, “Ria sent over this doc with questions for Tasha and we talked about some of them. The kid was sleeping in dorms with a ton of other girls, all she’s ever known was sleeping around someone else.”

It made sense as to why Maria had said they would be fine sharing the room upstairs. She didn’t know how to feel about it and shifted her gaze to the woman on her deck. Maria was nodding along to whatever was being said and ran another hand through her hair. 

She worried about the conversation, she worried about the overall health of Maria, she worried about the unknown. 

“If Ria doesn’t keep her, I want her,” Clint’s voice was low, bringing her out of her own head. 

“Oh if Ria doesn’t keep her, we’re the first ones on the list,” she chuckled, “but she’ll keep her. You see the way she looks at her? Like that girl is made out of gold. There’s no way anyone is taking her away from Ria.”

That much she was sure about.   

Chapter Text

“Hey Ria,” the Russian’s voice was slightly breathy as she answered. 

“Bad time?” Maria let out a breath she had been holding in at the question.

“Never,” Natasha responded, without skipping a beat, “what's up?”

It was at that moment that she realized she didn’t really have a reason for calling. That added with how the pair rarely called each other left her with a dry mouth and a shitty excuse. 

“I was just- I wanted to see if you had heard about that vigilante that you know in New York? He just hit the SHIELD radar for crime fighting after 6 months of laying low,” she closed her eyes and shook her head. Why are you bringing up her ex ?  

Natasha let out a clipped laugh, “Who? Matt? No, I haven't talked to him in a long time but I’m not surprised he’s fighting again. The guy doesn’t know how to stay down.”

“Well you might want to give him a heads up that he’s going to get a visit from some junior agents here soon,” she took a sip of her beer and ran her hand through her hair.

“Will do,” the Russian hummed, “Why’d you really call, Ria?”

Busted .

“I… I just hadn’t heard from you for a while and wanted to check in,” it was the truth, the answer she should have given in the first place. 

“I’m okay, I always am,” it was the same answer she had given Maria two weeks prior, this time her voice sounded more tired. 

“I know but I’m with Clint and Laura and they hadn’t heard from you either so I thought I should check in,” she took another sip. 

“Sorry, I’ve been working.” She could hear the sound of a lighter flicking before the woman on the other line exhaled. 

“No need to apologize. You find anything useful?” The Commander titered between friend and boss as she asked. 

“No, it’s like it vanished into thin air,” Natasha inhaled for a moment before exhaling the smoke from her lungs, she could picture the woman rolling her eyes as she normally did when she was frustrated. 

“Anything I can do to help?” it was a long shot but she wanted to let her know that she was still there for her. Even if it was as a friend, even if it was over the phone. 

There was a long pause, long enough for Maria to check to make sure the call wasn’t dropped.

“Can you tell me about Chicago?” The spies' voice was quiet. 

The brunette snorted as she laughed and then hummed, “yeah Tasha, I can tell you about Chicago.”

She glanced back inside only to see two sets of eyes on her, she waved to the Bartons and then started telling Natasha about one of her favorite Italian restaurants. It had been the better part of thirty minutes by the time she finished talking on the phone, hoping the whole time that she was bringing even a little bit of peace to the woman on the other side. 

Laura gave her a soft smile as she walked back into the house, closing the sliding glass door being her softly. Both kids were fast asleep on the couch and she wondered if she should bring Ellie upstairs or let her continue to rest. 

“She’s been sleeping the whole time, no problems,” Laura always had been a mind reader. 

“How's Tasha?” Clint kissed his wife on the cheek.

She shrugged, “Okay I think, tired, but okay.”

“She find anything useful?”

“Seems like a lot of dead ends, but she said she has a lead she’s going to follow tomorrow,” she took a seat at the table once more. 

The three adults continued to talk until it was past everyone's bedtime and they would all need extra coffee in the morning. And yet, she didn’t regret it for a moment. She had missed the easy conversations with her friends, she missed the way that Laura smiled at her sarcasm and the way that Clint waved his hands around when he talked about old missions. The only thing that would have made it better was if Natasha had been there for it, the missing puzzle piece.

“Alright, I have to go bring this one upstairs before his sister wakes up and realizes everyone is still downstairs,” Laura stood up first, “she’s in the phase where she climbs into bed with one of us every night.”

Maria looked at Clint, she had no idea that was even a phase. 

The archer shrugged, “she’s kinda a terror.” 

She followed them into the living room where Ellie had extended her arm so she was touching the boy next to her. Both children were fast asleep, she had half a mind to let the girl sleep soundly in the comfort of someone around her age as she had grown up doing. Laura smiled at the sight.  

It was for the best if she brought Ellie back upstairs where she could keep an eye on her in the child’s new environment and so she knelt down next to the girl and softly stroked her cheek until the child’s eyes flew open. 

“Just me Ellie girl,” Maria kept her voice quiet and calm, “let’s go to bed, yeah?”

Ellie blinked a few more times and ran her hands around the couch. 

“It’s upstairs,” she knew the girl was searching for her flashlight and slowly scooped her up. 

Cooper barely stirred as he was hoisted into his father's arms and the brunette hoped that one day she would be able to pick Ellie up like that. That the girl trusted the world enough one day to sleep openly and not assume the worst when she was awoken. Maria opened her arms to the child who eyed her nervously before taking one hand and walking with the woman up the stairs. 

One day , she hoped.   

Ellie stood awkwardly at the end of the bed that was normally shared by a different member of the Red Room. She glanced around until her eyes fell on her flashlight, hurrying quickly over to the nightstand and bringing the metal item close to her chest. 

Maria smiled, “ready for bed?”

The girl nodded tiredly and immediately got out of her clothes and changed into the pajamas that Maria had packed the day before. Ellie trailed her fingers over the little yellow stars that covered the blue material and clicked the flashlight once before climbing into the bed. 

“You wake me up if you need anything, okay?” the brunette smoothed some of the curls that framed the child's face. 

Ellie nodded and pulled both the flashlight and sheets up to her chest as Maria changed clothes and turned off the overhead light. She got into bed and thought about all the times she had slept in the same spot with Natasha next to her. The redhead wiggled around much more than Ellie, oftentimes ending up with her head on Maria’s pillow rather than her own. It was strange to sleep next to a girl who moved so little that at one point in the middle of the night, the woman squinted to make sure her chest was still moving with each breath. 

The next morning, she woke up to the sound of someone (probably Clint) making coffee. It was when she went to sit up that she noticed it; Ellie was still fast asleep, but her hand was placed on the woman’s sternum to no doubt feel for her heartbeat. Maria smiled and tried her best to pull out from under the child’s hand. She was almost free before the girl’s eyes flew open at the loss of connection, she blinked once before letting out a breath and turning back over to sleep. Maria smiled and slipped out of the room as quietly as she could.  

She padded down the stairs and tapped the countertop that the man was standing in front of, having learned from years of friendship that the archer rarely put his hearing aids in first thing in the morning. 

Clint turned around at the vibration and smiled, *coffee?* he signed. 

She nodded and leaned against the counter, it had been a while since it had been just the two of them. 

*Sleep okay?* he asked as he handed over the mug. 

*Yes, you?* she asked back, her ASL wasn’t as fluent as his but she still made an effort to use it rather than forcing him to rely on lip reading alone.  

*slept great, Ellie?* He spelled out the girl's name.

*good, still sleeping* she smiled and followed the man out to the back deck where they sat and talked until they had both finished their drinks. 

*Go on a run, I’ll take care of her if she wakes* he took the mug from her hand and walked back inside. 

She hadn’t been on a proper run since taking on the role of Ellie’s guardian, it was one of the few things she missed. The Barton Farm was one of the running routes she was positive she could do blindfolded. When she had been held captive during a mission years prior, she had kept herself sane by running through every mental map she had, the route she ran at the Farm included. 

*Don't overthink, go* the archer signed, smiling as he did so. 

It was all the encouragement she needed as she went upstairs and opened up the top drawer of the dresser that she knew held extra workout clothes. She always teased Natasha about not being able to reach the top drawer, she once again found herself wishing the redhead was here and not halfway across the world. 

“Little bear,” she softly stroked the girl's cheeks until the child woke up, “I’m going to go on a run but I’ll be right back. Go downstairs when you wake up,” to her surprise, Ellie blinked a few times and turned back over to go to sleep. 

The Commander tied her shoes and waved to Clint before heading out into the warm morning air, the gravel crunching softly under her feet. It was a quarter mile down the driveway, another half down the road until she hit the next farm, and a mile longer until the country store. She took a deep breath and started down the well-known path. 

At first, her mind started to flood with work tasks, she ran faster , then thoughts about Natasha, she pushed harder , then Ellie, she sprinted until her lungs burned . She ran, faster and faster until the only thing she could think about was the crunching of the gravel under her shoes. Running had been her outlet since middle school, all these years later, it still was. 

The sound of gravel gave way to the delicate sound of her shoes hitting pavement as she started down the main road, still too early for any traffic. Faster and faster she ran, outrunning every thought that came into her mind. It was the one time the Commander allowed her mind to be selfishly blank, only coming back into her mind as she reached the convenience store at the end of the road. She trailed her finger over the store sign, signifying her halfway point, and turned back down the road. 

By the time she reached the farm again, she felt better than she had in weeks. The aching of her body was comforting, but not as comforting as the sight of Ellie sitting at the dining table next to Lila. 

“Hi Ellie girl,” she smoothed some of the girl's hair, “you okay?”

The child nodded and winced slightly as Lila squealed when pancakes were placed in front of her. Clint placed another stack of the breakfast item in front of Ellie and handed her a fork before motioning his head to the kitchen for Maria to follow him.

“Any problems?” her mind started to race, she should have waited to go on the run, she should have been there when Ellie woke up, she should have ditched the run altogether -   

“No,” he shook his head, “I mean- no, not really a problem but- I may have bribed her with space cartoons to follow me down here.”

Maria squinted, she tried to grasp the fact that the child could be swayed by space cartoons.  

“I went up there to put my ears in and I could see her feet outlined on the other side of the door and so I knocked,” he scratched the back of his neck, “and she opened the door but just stared at me-”

The Commander let out a sigh, the girl was just coming to terms with the fact that her door at home wasn’t locked from the outside, of course, she wouldn’t know that these doors worked the same way. 

“And I told her that you were on a run but she just stared and I wasn’t sure if she could understand me-”

Maria snorted, the kid could understand him. Little sneak . 

“So I looked up how to say space cartoons in Russian and that seemed to get her attention and then Lila was up and so I told them I’d make pancakes, which apparently she knew the word for-” the archer continued to ramble. 

“Barton,” she tried to get his attention. 

“And so I said that they could watch cartoons and have pancakes… and juice which I know is a lot-”

“Clint” she rolled her eyes. 

“But she’s so cute and she hasn’t even had these things, Ria! Think about Tasha and how much she missed out on, but Ellie is still so young that I get to give her all these things and she won't even try to stab me- well I think she won't try-”

“Clinton,” she smiled, “it’s fine, it’s the weekend.” 

“Oh… Okay cool, yeah, no the weekend. Is something burning?” the blond turned back around to the stove where there was indeed a pancake burning, chocolate by the looks of it. 

“Morning Lila,” Maria squeezed the child’s shoulders as she took a seat next to Ellie.

“Where Auntie Nat?” The little girl took a bite of the precut pancake. 

“She’s off making sure little gremlins like you two are safe,” the Commander stole a piece of pancake and laughed as the girl squealed. 

“Safe?” the little voice to her left asked. 

“Yeah Ellie, Tasha is making sure everyone is safe out there,” she smiled at the girl who furrowed her brows. 

“No,” the girl shook her head, “is safe?”

Clint brought over two pancakes for the child with the question, eyeing the woman to see how she was going to answer. 

“Yeah little bear, she’ll be safe,” Maria replied, smoothing back the brown curls that poked out in all directions.

Leave it to the 5-year-old to be concerned about the safety of a woman who she still associated with the Red Room. The child truly had a heart of gold, it was just hidden behind fear and conditioning that left it hard to see.  

“Syrup?” Lila yelled from her spot at the table, causing Ellie to wince at the loud noise.

“You got it, kid!” Clint yelled back, only to be intercepted by his wife. 

“I’m sure daddy already gave you plenty of syrup,” Laura shook her head much to the displeasure of the youngest child. 

“Is gone mommy,” the girl widened her eyes.

Laura hummed, “you either drank it or it’s soaked up by your pancake. Not falling for it Lila Barton!”

The 3-year-old eyed her pancakes before licking the plate and eating the rest of the meal, Ellie let a small smile creep across her face. 

“Morning,” Ria smiled as the woman joined them at the table.

“Going on a run?” Laura eyed her clothing. 

“Already went,” she reached over and helped Ellie cut the pancake in front of her. 

“Dang it,” her friend smiled, “I was hoping I would get some extra alone time with this one.”

“You can have all the alone time if you get her to take her meds, Clint will you toss those to me?” Maria pointed at the pill bottle on the counter that she had brought down that morning. 

Ellie let out a deep sigh as she saw the orange bottle fly across the room. 

“I know,” Maria shook out a pill. 

“тебе не нравится taste ?” Laura asked the child, the last word being the only one Maria could understand.

The curly-haired girl shook her head and scrunched up her nose.

“Держу пари, шоколад помогает,” the woman said with a smile, one that was mimicked on the girls face. 

Laura got up and walked over to the stove where she got a few chocolate chips, placing the majority in front of Ellie and two in front of her own daughter who immediately put them in her mouth. Ellie swallowed her pills quickly and finished by eating the chocolate, only looking at Maria after she ate them. 

“Stooping to bribery huh?” the brunette shook her head as she watched her friend sit back down at the table. 

“I was never above it Ria,” Laura gave a devilish grin.  

The days at the Farm always seemed to go by faster than anywhere else, Monday coming to a close as they walked down the driveway. Cooper had insisted on showing Lellie how fast he could ride his bike as the group of kids raced down the gravel path. The adults walked slowly on the first true summer night of the season, keeping an eye on the children from a distance. 

“You’re going to have to get a new car,” Clint sighed, “it kills me to tell you that because I for one love the sports car but it’s not going to work. Bobbi might buy it off you.”

“Morse?” She glanced at the archer, she had only seen the agent ride a motorcycle. 

“Yeah, got tired of riding the bike in the rain,” he nodded. 

It had been a particularly wet spring, she couldn’t blame the woman for wanting a drier option. Still, she was upset that she had to sell her new car at all.  

“I got so much shit for my old car,” she threw her hands up, “and now, it turns out it would have been perfect!”

“That’s the thing about kids, honey,” Laura laughed, “everything, and I mean everything, is hindsight. But the good news is, I have a jump on you and the lessons that I've learned with Coop so I can help you out.”  

“If you could put that in a book for me-” she stopped herself, her smile falling slightly, “I mean who knows how long I’ll have her. There might be better families or a better opportunity for her.”

“Ria, you know that you’re-” whatever Clint was about to say was cut off as a portal opened up next to him, causing him to let out a high-pitched scream before he cleared his throat, “sorry.”

Maria laughed before looking at the girl in front of her, wondering what happened. But instead of looking at her, the green-eyed child looked at the woman next to her. 

“Lo,” the girl caught her breath and tried the woman's name again “Lo-Lo.”

“What is it, sweetheart?” Laura crouched down next to Ellie, pushing past the mispronunciation.

“Cooper fell. He scrape hands,” the girl heaved between breaths and raised both of her own hands to show where the boy was hurt. 

Clint slowly jogged towards the scene of the bike accident at the end of the path. Ellie’s face relaxed at the sight of help being sent to her new friend. 

“Thank you so much for telling me,” Laura gave the girl's shoulders a squeeze as she stood up and followed her husband, “we’ll meet you back at the house.”

“You okay, little bear?” Maria was simultaneously proud and worried as the little girl sagged from the energy used to teleport.

“Tired,” she leaned against Maria who scooped her up and propped her on her hip. 

“I bet,” the brunette turned around and started the walk back to the house, “you did a good job, coming to get an adult.”

The two continued their walk until they were on the back deck of the house, Maria explained how Cooper might not want to be around other people for a little while if he is hurt or embarrassed. Ellie tilted her head at the last statement. 

“Embarrassed?” Maria asked, watching as the child nodded, “it’s when you don't have a good feeling inside after you did something that didn’t go right.”

It was funny, the woman had been in and out of therapy since she joined SHIELD, but having to explain emotions to Ellie was one of the most useful ways that she had found of pin-pointing her own feelings. She leaned back on the step they were sitting on and watched as the girl absorbed the knowledge. They sat in comfortable silence until a bandaged Cooper joined them in the setting sun. 

“You are hurt?” Ellie had concern etched on her face as she looked at her friend. 

“A little bit,” he held his hands up for her to inspect carefully, “but my helmet kept my head safe and mommy says my hands will be better in a couple of days.”

The Russian nodded and gave a small smile as the boy gave her a thumbs up.

“Who’s Grace?” it wasn’t anger in Laura Barton's voice… but it was close as she walked onto the deck, Maria’s phone in her hand, “and why has she called twice in the last 10 minutes?”

At the mention of the woman's voice, Ellie turned to look at the phone, an action that did not go unnoticed by Laura. 

“She’s just- she’s a teacher at The Center,” The Deputy Director stood up and plucked the phone out of her friend's hand, “probably just wanted to know if Ellie was okay. I um- I think I forgot to tell her that we're here, so I'll just go let her know.” 

Laura had a single eyebrow raised as Maria walked back into the house, “I’ll be right back,” she promised to Ellie who tilted her head to the side and squinted her eyes, “and I’ll tell her to tell Liam you’ll be back.”

The girl smiled and turned back to the boy next to her. The brunette took the stairs two at a time until she was in her room where she closed the door and dialed the number. 

“Hey,” Grace’s voice was as kind as ever.

“Hey,” Maria smiled, suddenly feeling like a teenager on the bed.  

“I swear I’m not desperate,” the blonde laughed, “I called to ask if Ellie was okay and then read her file and saw she was out of town so I called again to say that I read the file. Which- now that I’m saying it out loud I realize I could have just texted.”

The Commander laughed, “you could have but don’t worry, it’s nice to hear from you.” What was she doing ? 

“Well,” she could hear the smile on the woman's face, “I’m glad I called then, are you getting an actual break? The Maria Hill on vacation?” 

“Something like that,” she smiled, “it’s been nice, I think we're going to catch fire files here soon.”

“Well don’t let me keep you from that,” Grace answered. 

“I should get going then, but it was nice to hear from you,” she rolled her eyes, who are you? ? “Oh, and Ellie wanted me to make sure that Liam knew she was coming back in 2 weeks. She doesn’t want him to think she just left.”

“She’s so sweet, I’ll make sure he gets the memo. Call whenever, I missed seeing you two today.”

“Will do, bye Grace,” the brunette knew she would get shit for it the longer she was upstairs. 

“Have a good night, Maria,” Grace responded.  

She moved quickly down the stairs and rounded the last corner where she could see the Bartons sitting at the table on the deck, a third beer bottle waiting for her at her usual spot. 

“I’m just saying, I’m clearly her favorite-” Laura started.

“Because you speak Russian!” her husband cut her off, finishing his drink. 

“Clint, she understands English just fine,” Maria laughed as she took her seat, “she just played you into thinking she didn’t so you’d give her sweets.”

“She calls me Lo-Lo,” Laura smirked, “I should be the Godmother, I have a nickname.”

“We’re not religious,” the Commander rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink.

“It’s not about religion, plus who else would it be?” The woman narrowed her eyes, “ Grace ?”

 “I told you, she’s just someone who works at The Center-” she started.

“Who makes personal phone calls after hours.” Laura cut her off. 

“And sends texts with smiley faces,” Clint added. 

“You went through my phone?? Barton, that's a federal offense, I’m the Deputy Director!” her hand made contact with the man's shoulder until he almost fell off the chair he was sitting in. 

“I didn’t, I didn’t but I do have great vision and you were texting her in my line of sight,” he sat back up and smiled at his wife who gave him a high-five.   

“Not fair, you don’t get to tag team me,” she took another sip and smiled at the trio of children who came rushing up the stairs of the deck.

“Look!” Lila yelled as she held up the old jar that now glowed softly. The child brought the jar up and started to shake it before her father grabbed it. 

“Nope, no shaking bugs Li” he sighed and handed the jar to Ellie.

The girl was carefully inspecting the insects as they crawled around the jar, smiling when a few of them started to glow. 

“Do you like the little critters?” Maria whispered in the child’s ear who nodded, “even if they crawl around like this?”

The brunette moved her fingers around the girl who giggled at the sensation and god she could listen to that sound for the rest of her life . She sat back up and locked eyes with Laura who softly smiled. Ellie walked back over to where Cooper was still standing and lifted the jar to his eyes.

“I think we can get more in there tomorrow,” he tilted his head, Ellie mimicked the motion, “I count 7. What about you?”

The girl studied the jar for a moment before nodding in agreement. The two continued to watch as the small bugs lit up, seemingly brighter and brighter as the night moved on. At some point, everyone was out of drinks and Maria got up to replenish, smiling as she listened to Cooper try and explain flashlight tag to the two younger girls.

“You need to tell her,” Laura's voice floated into the kitchen as she followed the brunette. 

“Tell who what?” She ran a hand through her hair and faced the woman in the warm light of the room. 

“Don’t you play dumb with me Maria Hill,” the woman had her mom voice on, “I’ve watched the two of you do this dance for years. But now it’s done because you have a kid and she’s hellbent on taking down an entire trafficking operation alone?”

Maria sighed, it wasn’t as simple as that. 

“You know I love you, right honey?” Laura leaned on the counter next to her. 

“I do,” she glanced down towards the ex-agent. 

“Then you know that I’m saying this out of love for you, and love for Tash,” The Commander braced for the harsh reality that was about to come out of Laura's mouth, “you have two options. One: you let Ellie and Yelena bring the end of what could have been a wonderful thing because you’re scared of being hurt or hurting her. You never know what could have been, you risk losing her as anything, including a friend.”

That was the last thing she wanted but she knew the Russian well enough to know that she was big on cutting people out of her life that caused her pain. If she ended things it would cause them both pain, if she ever hurt Natasha, if she lost her forever, she didn’t think she could do it- she- she couldn't breathe.  

“Or,” Laura placed her hand onto the woman's back and rubbed large circles soothingly, “option two: you tell her how you actually feel and see where it takes you.”

“What if-” she peeled the label off the bottle in her hands, “what if she doesn't want me?”

“Then the sky is green and Tony Stark stopped being a self-serving asshole,” Laura chuckled, “plus you already have a backup, what's her name? Gretchen?”

“Grace,” Maria rolled her eyes.

“Right, Grace ,” the mom emphasized the name, “I just think that the two of you need to sit down and talk it out, you’ve both been through enough therapy to know that. Or jump her bones and get pregnant and figure out the rest as it comes along.”

“As well as that’s worked out for you and Clint, I think we may be lacking the equipment,” Maria shook her head and smiled, “plus the physical stuff’s always been easy.”

“Trust me, we all know that” Laura shook her head and sighed, “There’s a reason she loves that stray cat.”

“Liho?” Maria herself was also fond of the cat that frequented Steve and Natasha’s apartment. 

The woman hummed in agreement, “skittish, you have to be careful with your movements and let her come to you. But as soon as you show her that you have food, that you aren’t going to hurt her, she understands the intentions and relaxes. She just needs to know that you’re safe, and what your intentions are.” 

The Commander continued to peel the label off her beer bottle. 

“She knows you’re safe, now all you have to do is show her your intentions and wait for her to come to you,” Laura squeezed Maria’s hand and walked back onto the deck.     

The brunette followed a little later, thinking about what she needed to tell Natasha, thinking about what she needed to tell Ellie. She thought everything through as she watched her friends talk and the kids continue to run around in the warm summer night. It wasn’t until Lila fell asleep in her father's arms that they all decided to call it a night, Ellie's eyes looking like they were moments away from closing into slumber.      

“Come on little bear,” Maria reached her hand out and led the two of them up the stairs, throwing a “night” to the Barton’s over her shoulder as she did so. 

As soon as they walked into the room, the child raced over to retrieve her flashlight from where she stored it on the nightstand. Ellie smiled, clicking it on and off twice before pulling it close to her chest and closing her eyes. 

Maria smiled as she pulled out the girl's pajamas, leave it to my - she stopped herself and walked over to the child who immediately pulled off her clothes and stepped into the pajamas. She got the two of them in bed and turned off the light before letting herself continue the thought. It was silent other than the child’s breaths that were evening out, still, she waited until she was sure Ellie was asleep before she finally said it to herself.  Leave it to my kid to love something useful rather than a stuffed animal , she smiled, leave it to my kid , she reiterated in her mind, my kid , she said one final time. It had been over a month since the two of them first met, she had no idea if it was too soon, she had no idea how to be a mom, she had no idea if Ellie wanted her as a mom, but at 11:23pm on May 29th, she knew one thing for sure. The child lying next to her was hers.

Chapter Text

The warmth of the summer air breezed through Maria’s hair, she couldn’t remember the last time she had let it grow out this long and messed with the ends. As if she could read her mind (Hill wasn’t convinced she couldn’t) Laura stood up, walked inside, and returned with her hair-cutting scissors, spray bottle, and brush. 

“You’ve been messing with it all afternoon, do you want me to cut your bangs too?” The woman walked up behind her chair and ran her fingers through the Commander's hair. 

“No, I think they were a bad call,” she messed with the hair over her eyes and pushed it to the side, “I think I’m going to grow them out.”

“I like them,” Clint smiled from where he was sitting across from her, “looks mysterious.”

Maria snorted, “thanks, Barton.”

“Daddy, Lellie, and I can fit together! I told you!” Cooper called from where he and the curly-haired child had squeezed into the tire swing, “Can you push us?”

“Can I push you?” Clint stood up and descended the stairs of the deck, “what kinda question is that? The real question is how high?”

The blond approached the swing and signed “ok?” to the girl who nodded before pushing them fairly high, much to the delight of the two children who laughed as they climbed higher into the sky before falling back down. Over the course of 10 days, the archer had taught Ellie a number of signs that she used with him. Maria would go on her morning run and come back to find Ellie and Clint communicating in the kitchen, the former showing her new words she had learned. 

“God, I love that man,” Laura brushed out Maria’s hair and sprayed it down, “Li baby, please  please  stop chasing the chickens.” 

The brunette laughed at the squeal she could hear from the youngest Barton who was no doubt still chasing the chicken. 

“All of the parenting books say kids bully animals out of curiosity, peer pressure, or because they are bullied. She does it daily so there's no way she's still curious, the only peer pressure she has is from Coop and it’s not like that kid would hurt a fly, and her biggest bully is the toy machine that eats her quarter at the grocery store sometimes,” the woman started to cut as she sighed, “I mean I’m not saying that the books are bullshit, there’s a lot of good stuff in the ones I’m sending you home with, I just don't know why she does it.”

“She’s always been a bit of an evil genius,” Maria recalled how the girl had learned she could get one of her parents to give her extra dessert if she didn't tell the other one she had already had some, the girl got double dessert for months before Laura noticed, “maybe she’s plotting something and needs feathers.”

“Tilt your head forward,” Laura instructed and continued cutting, “I wouldn’t be surprised, can you imagine her as a teenager? She’s already got Clint around her finger.”

“I think he’s scared of her,” the Deputy Director would hear him give the same nervous laugh around his daughter that he did in the field when they were fucked or he made a mistake. 

“He does the laugh like when he messed something up in an OP,” Laura straightened Maria’s head back out.

“I was just thinking that,” again, she wasn’t fully convinced the woman couldn’t read minds.

“He’s a dummy, but I wouldn’t trade him for the world,” she could hear the smile on the woman’s face. 

It was easy for her to relax here, listening to the giggle of kids in the background as her friends talked about anything and everything. She cherished her routine of working from the home office as Cooper showed his new friend how to play with legos or his collection of leaves he had gathered the fall before. It made leaving that much harder.

“I added us to the flight out tomorrow afternoon,” she didn’t miss how Laura's scissors hesitated for a moment before continuing to cut, “they have a flight from Fort Dodge to Andrews and two open seats.”

“What if I swap you, just for a few weeks? You take Lila and I get to hang on to my little curly cutie a little longer?” 

“As much as I think she would love that, I gotta get her back to Fitzsimmons,” she lowered her voice slightly, “I was supposed to take her in for evaluations weeks ago.”

“Does she know?” Laura dropped her voice to match, not wanting to startle the child on the swing. 

“I told her that it’s going to happen at some point, she doesn’t know that it’s when we get back,” Maria felt a pang of guilt but knew that as soon as she told Ellie the girl would be a nervous wreck.  

“I’m sure it will be just fine.”

It was the quote that Maria continued to repeat to herself for the remainder of their stay at the Farm. As she zipped up the duffle bag of Ellies freshly washed clothes (thank you Laura Barton) she repeated the quote and reminded herself that they would be back, it was the only thought that allowed her to carry the bag downstairs. 

“Come on, just a few more days!” Laura called out from behind the chair Ellie was sitting patiently in. 

“Trust me, if we could, we would” the Commander double-checked that they had all of their bags and nodded to Clint who quickly carried them out to the car. 

“BYE!” Lila called out and waved her hand repeatedly. 

Ellie smiled and waved back before looking at the other Barton child who was having a much harder time with their departure. 

“I want you to have this,” Cooper held out a Lego figurine that was painted to resemble an astronaut. 

The curly-haired child took it gently in her hands and stared at her new friend.

“That way you remember me and when you come back you can bring it because you’re going to be back right?” the little boy sniffled and wiped his nose on the back of his hand as tears welled up. 

Ellie nodded quickly and ran over to her backpack where she pulled out a travel-sized flashlight that Maria had packed in case they lost her large one. 

“You,” she thrust the item into the boy's hands, “lights up like mine.”

“Wow!” Cooper flickered the light on and off. 

Laura looked over to Maria who smiled, “I’ll snag another one from work, he can have it.”

“Thanks, Lellie,” the boy sniffled again before starting to cry, the boy had always had a sensitive side.  

*Bye Coop* the girl signed before squeezing her arms tightly around his midsection in an act of physical kindness that was rare. 

“Bye,” he scrubbed his face, “By Ria.”

Maria was then the recipient of a tight hug of her own as they walked onto the front porch where she said goodbye to the remainder of the Bartons as Ellie got into her car seat and fiddled with the lego still in her hand. 

“I’m sure I’ll be back at work here soon,” Clint smiled as he hugged the Deputy Director, “have a safe trip.”

“Thanks, Barton, see ya,” she knew they would be together again at work in the near future, but hoped the man could spend as much time as possible with his family in the summer months.

“Don’t be a stranger, come back soon okay?” Laura hugged her tightly. 

“Will do,” she hugged her friend and got into the car, starting their journey back to the real world.   

Ellie shook like a small wet dog as they stood in the elevator that climbed the floors of the Triskelion. Maria had explained what was going to happen after they got home from Iowa but was positive the little girl was running on minimal sleep due to nerves. 

“It won't be like it was back in the old place,” the woman put her hand on the girl's shoulder, “it’s just going to be us and two other agents.”

The child grasped her backpack straps and continued to shake as the elevator dinged one final time to signal they had arrived. The two walked down the corridor and waited in front of the laboratory door. 

“Do you want to breathe before we go in?” Maria had crouched down to eye level with the girl who nodded, “Okay, deep breath in…. Hold it…. And out nice and slowly.”

She stayed there and continued to breathe with the girl until she let out one final breath and signed *ok*. 

“Hey Fitzsimmons, we're here,” the Commander spoke into the intercom on the door that promptly opened.  

“Hi there,” Jemma took a step back to allow the two into the lab space. 

It was cleaner than it had been in… well as long as Maria could remember. The lights overhead were dimmed and the speaker that normally played 90’s hits now played calming music, they were trying their best. 

“Hi Jemma, this is Ellie,” Maria put her hand on the girl’s head, “Ellie this is Jemma.”

The girl pulled on one of her braids and hid her face behind Maria’s leg. 

“Hi Ellie, I very much like your shirt,” the woman smiled, “space is very cool.”

To her credit, the child smiled slightly and nodded before gripping onto Maria’s pant leg when Leo walked over. 

“This is my friend Leo, he likes space too.”

“Well technically, I prefer engineering bu- ach,” he cradled his side after his partner elbowed him in the ribs, “yep, space. Very cool.”

“They’re going to be the people who watch you show off your skills like I told you about,” she tried to make it sound as nonthreatening as possible. 

“We’re just going to put these stickers on you and then you get to show us all of your interesting talents,” Leo smiled and held up a case containing wearable sensors with poorly drawn smiley faces on them, “and then you’re going to lay down in our special room with Jemma and we’re going to take pictures of your insides, how fun!”

Ellie’s eyes widened at the last comment, she clearly did not think it was going to be fun. 

“And after that, we can go downstairs and get a cookie,” Maria spoke quietly to the girl who perked up at the promise of sweets. 

“Okay, you’re just going to have to follow me into the testing area,” Jemma lead them towards a long-range-like area of the lab. 

Ellie followed, trailing her finger along the smooth surface of the glass as they walked into the new section of the space. She stood patiently and only flinched twice as all of the sensors were placed on her skin, holding Maria’s hand the entire time. 

“Okay I’m going to ask you a few questions, are you ready Elizaveta?” Jemma was writing on a file that contained the girl's information from her first visit to the Helicarrier. 

*ok* the child signed and took a seat next to Maria who nodded at the scientist. 

“Right here it says that you cannot control when you teleport, is that still the case?”

*little* the girl signed.

“You can control it a little or you cannot control it a little?” the Commander tried to clarify.

“Can control little,” Ellie said. Leo stopped what he was doing at the sound of the girl's voice, it was one thing to see how small she was, it was another to hear it matched with her accent. 

“Wonderful,” Simmons smiled and corrected the note, “do you know how you control it?”

“See place or people and close eyes then go,” the child shrugged and pulled on her backpack straps. 

“Very interesting, so you need to know the person or the place?”

*yes* Ellie signed and nodded. 

The person aspect was a new development but it made sense given that she was able to teleport to Laura after Cooper had fallen off his bike. Maria had assumed that she had just teleported back to a place on the road she had been before, but it was a long driveway and she was able to get to the adults within a foot. She watched as the girl continued to fidget with her backpack before stroking one of the sensors and looking up at Maria. 

“Hurt?” her body began to shake again as she asked. 

“No little bear, no these are not going to hurt you,” the brunette shook her head, wanting to kick herself for not explaining that before. The child visibly relaxed and poked another sensor on her thigh. 

“I promise you they are just so we can get some information and watch you move around,” Jemma gave a small smile, clearly thinking the same thing Maria had been, “Fitz spin the monitor.”

The man turned one of his screens around and showed the dots floating on display.  

“Go ahead and lift your arm,” she encouraged.

The girl looked at the adults before slowly moving her arm up. She watched the dot on the screen copy her and that was all it took before she stood up and moved both arms in the air, then lifted one leg at a time and smiled. For the first time, the child relaxed and moved around the space freely just to watch herself on the screen. 

“We can go over the rest of the questions later,” Simmons smiled as the girl was now shrugging repeatedly and kicking her legs around. 

Fitz walked over and turned on another device, his appearance made Ellie slightly nervous and she returned to her spot next to Maria. The two scientists exchanged looks and nodded, speaking in a language of their own. 

“Alright there Ellie, we’re going to get started on showing off what you can do,” the man gave the girl a big smile, “I’ll just have you walk down with me over here and you try your best to teleport back to this spot. You think you can do that?”

The child scanned the area with her eyes intently, taking in everything about the room before nodding. She walked slightly behind the man towards the end of the lane, stopping as they reached the end where she ran her finger along the wall.   

“Okay how about I hold on to that bag for you?” Leo pointed to the girl's backpack.

Maria was far enough away to where she could only partially hear the conversation, but as soon as she saw the man point, she knew what was about to happen. Sure enough, the girl shook her head. She wasn’t sure the girl could teleport with something on her body, but she knew how much comfort the child found in the object and knew she would at least try. 

“Can she do it with this on?” Fitz yelled back down the range, getting a wince from the child next to him.

“We’ll find out,” the Deputy Director responded. 

“Ready Simmons?” he yelled once more.

“Ready!” Jemma gave a thumbs-up that was reciprocated by Ellie. 

The Commander watched as Leo continued to talk to the girl who stared at the ground for a moment before closing her eyes tightly. A flash of blue and black cracked open and closed quickly as Ellie tumbled onto the other side of the room, the extra weight of the backpack pitching her forward. Maria stuck her hand out to catch the child who gave a lopsided grin. 

“Happy with yourself?” she smiled back.

Ellie ran her hands over the straps of the backpack and nodded, clearly excited that she had found out she could teleport with an object. 

*Flashlight* the girl signed. 

“Yeah, I bet they want to see you do it with your flashlight, turn around and I’ll grab it,” the brunette nodded. 

It wasn’t until she finished talking to the girl that she realized the other two adults were still quiet. She looked at Jemma whose eyes were wide as she looked at the screen, Leo’s mouth was clearly agape even from far away. 

“That was brilliant,” the former finally spoke up, “I- Fitz can you come here for a moment?”

The two spoke in low tones as Maria fished the flashlight out of the girl's backpack along with a juice box.

“That can’t be right… right?” Leo typed away at the computer. 

“Everything okay?” the Commander asked from her spot next to the teleporting child. 

“Um- yes. I mean- Elizaveta do you keep your eyes closed the whole time you’re moving?” Simmons asked the girl who nodded and dangled her legs off the side of the chair, “would you mind showing us one more time?”

Ellie looked at her flashlight and nodded quickly, this time she left her backpack with Maria and walked to the end of the room alone. 

“Okay, whenever you’re ready!” Fitz called out, the girl gave a thumbs up and closed her eyes tightly. 

She reappeared and held her flashlight up triumphantly, looking slightly tired. 

“Wow look at that,” Maria smiled and punctured the juice box, handing it to the child who needed it. 

Ellie dangled her legs and sucked on the juice box, uninterested in anything else that was happening. The two scientists continued to talk quickly, staring at the screen in front of them. 

“Are you cold right now?” Leo asked, the question seemingly left field. 

*little* the child signed, Maria touched her arm which was colder than normal. 

“A little bit, what’s happening?” The girl seemed as normal as ever, but the questions were starting to worry the Commander. 

“She- well- it looks like and we… we could be wrong-” the man continued to stammer. 

“This range is 250 meters long,” Jemma cut in. 

“Okay?”

“Those sensors detect everything from heart rate to muscle activity and distance. I don’t know what the maximum distance they will record is so she could be going even further than what we can measure but she’s traveling over 200 Kilometers when she teleports,” Simmons turned the monitor around to show Maria, “she’s traveling in a way that cannot be properly tracked but I believe- Well I believe she may be traveling into space when she does that.”  

Ellie perked up at the shift in conversation to space and handed her juice box to the woman next to her. She gave a lopsided smile and pointed to her shirt which had the outline of a spaceship on the side. 

*Space* she signed. 

“Ellie girl, do you know that you’re going to space when you teleport?” Maria furrowed her brows.  

The child shrugged and then began kicking around again to watch herself on the monitor.  

“This is incredible,” Fitz shook his head in astonishment, “absolutely incredible, how she’s able to physically withstand the temperatures let alone the gravitational force. Her body must-”

“I know I was just thinking that- She has to have some type of protection-”

“It's so fast do you think that- well I guess we'll see with the scans if-”

Maria cleared her throat. 

“Sorry, Deputy Director” Jemma’s cheeks blushed as she looked at the other adult in the room, “we just need the scans, then you’ll be free to go unless you’d like to see the results.”

“Emails fine,” she gave a nod.

“Of course and don’t worry we remembered your threat!” Leo smiled.

“What he means to say is we created an encrypted drive so no one else has access to her data, right here,” the scientist held up a small metal device. 

“Thank you,” she was glad the two had listened to her, “ready to have some pictures taken, kid?”

Ellie kicked around one final time before nodding. 

They returned back to the main section of the lab before Jemma led them into a small room off to the side that contained what looked to be a modified MRI. Fitz walked to the other side of the wall where a computer was set up behind a glass divider. 

“You and I are going to hang out here if that’s alright?” Jemma asked the girl whose eyes darted towards Maria, “it will take a little bit of time but this should be the last scan you have for quite some time.”

The child was clearly torn but gave a small nod once Maria reminded her of the cookie they could get after. The Commander followed the two into the room to get the child settled, noticing that she kept her eyes trained on the ceiling the whole time. 

“Here, we have an extra pack for you to take home,” Jemma smiled as she handed Maria a set of glow-in-the-dark space stickers. 

“I’ll be right out here okay?” the woman squeezed the child's hand, “I’ll make sure your backpack stays safe.” 

Maria joined Fitz on the other side of the glass and watched as he began the imaging process, explaining to her what he thought they would see and how Ellie’s body adapted to protect her. It was a long process but the child laid still and listened to Jemma read stories the whole time. They were mostly done, the end was in sight, but that’s normally what occurs right before disaster. This time was no different. 

“I just have one last question from before that I wasn’t able to ask you. Would it be okay if I asked you now?” Jemma’s voice was light and airy as the child signed *yes*.

“Do you remember the first time you were able to teleport? How you gained the ability to do it?” She asked quietly. 

The Commander watched as the child visibly tensed at the question, but signed “yes” once more. 

“Can you tell me about that?” 

“Was man… said can help me and Kyra but-” her chest started to rise and fall quickly at the mention of Loki and the older widow. 

Maria wanted to go into the room and pull the child into her own chest, but she knew they were only a few minutes away from finishing. 

“Man did not- he- he did not help and then- and then touch me but cold- and cold- and blue and-,” her speech was coming in quickly. The woman went to tell Leo to cut the rest of the imaging but before she could say anything, he pressed the speaker button and talked into the room. 

“About 3 more minutes,” It was the sound of the man's voice over the speaker that finally set her off.  

Ellie closed her eyes and began to fall through a series of portals, Maria tugged on the locked doors that separated them during testing. 

“Fitz,” she snapped at the man who stared at both the child and the scans on the screen, “open the door.”

“I can’t,” he finally spat out. 

“Leopold Fitz, open the door right now,” The Deputy Director clenched her jaw and was about to lie into the man before she heard Jemma’s voice on the other side of the glass.

The small woman had been able to restrain the child back on the table for scans, pulling her from the portals and speaking calmly to the girl who was wide-eyed and ready to run. However, this wasn’t Ellie's first time, she had learned from the previous experiences and was showing that as she calmed her breathing and listened to the scientist. 

“And that one right there is Canis Major, it has the brightest star in the night sky called Sirius,” Jemma continued to talk, though she was still clearly frazzled, “it would be that one, right there. Can you see it?”

Maria waited with bated breath before exhaling as the child sighed *yes*. 

The response calmed the woman who was also in the room who smiled slightly, “its name means ‘glowing’ in Greek, the whole constellation is reminiscent of a dog if you look at it correctly. I have a book on constellations if you’d like to borrow it.”

“Please,” Ellie spoke.

“I’ll get it for you as soon as this is done,” the woman pointed out another constellation, “when I was your age I had a curve in my spine called scoliosis. I was made to lay down after the surgery so every night, my father would wheel my bed out, and talk about the stars.”

Ellie contemplated this for a while before asking “Fixed?” 

“I am now.”

“I’m sorry Maria,” Fitz spoke quietly to the woman next to him.

“You froze, it happens,” she sighed and smoothed out nonexistent wrinkles from her slacks.

“I didn’t know she would react to my,” he swallowed, “to my voice like that.”

“She’s a child soldier Leo, she’s just learning that not all people are here to hurt her, men especially.”

The computer chimed to indicate the scan was complete and Maria opened the door immediately, walking over to the table where Ellie reached for her hand and squeezed twice. The woman didn’t hesitate to pick the child up and hold her tightly. 

“You okay?” she asked the woman who had a large red mark on her forearm from where Ellie’s limbs had no doubt made contact when she was in free fall. 

“Just fine, thank you. Thank you both,” Jemma nodded and showed them out of the lab, “I’ll send over everything we have once we compile it.”

“Thanks, I’ll fill in what I can about the rest of your question, “ Maria turned to exit the lab, Ellie was still pressed firmly into her side, “and tell Fitz not to beat himself up. It was an accident.”

The woman nodded and watched as they walked back to the elevator. 

“Cookie?” Ellie asked into Maria’s neck. 

“You got it, kid.”

They rode the elevator down to the cafeteria and selected two cookies from behind the counter after the curly-haired child couldn’t decide on one flavor. Maria brought them over to the table where she normally sat with Natasha, Clint, and Phil. It was different now, everything was. 

“How you feeling?” she watched as the girl took a bite from the first cookie. 

“Little tired,” the girl had heavy eyes but was doing much better than she had in the past after that type of event. 

“Were you scared?” Maria asked adding “I was pretty scared” when the child hesitated. 

“A little,” Ellie squished her fingers together to show the amount, something she had picked up from Cooper.  

Ellie and Maria continued to eat their treats, the latter getting stares of shock from other agents until all that was left were crumbs. 

“Center?” The child asked. 

The original plan had been to take the girl to the Center after testing, but that now seemed unlikely. 

“I still have a day I can work from home, we can go home.”

Ellie scrunched up her face, “Liam. Want see him.”

“Alright kid, let’s go see your buddy,” Maria shook her head and led them back to the elevators. 

For the second time that day, Ellie shook, but this time it was out of excitement as she rounded the corner quickly and pressed her face to the glass outside of The Center. Having spotted her friend she beamed up towards Maria who was walking too slowly for her. 

“Hey Ellie,” Grace smiled and let out a loud laugh as the girl waved quickly and waited for the half door to be open for her. 

The blonde opened the door and let the child run past. 

“Liam!” she called out to her friend who dropped the legos he was holding and ran over to her. 

Maria couldn't tell if she was more shocked by the somewhat loud voice Ellie had used, or the fact that she let the boy hug her, and returned the hug. The two friends laughed and separated and then hugged again. 

“God I love my job,” Grace smiled, “I see your vacation was good to you.”

“It was,” the Commander agreed as she signed the girl in. 

She looked once more at the two friends, Liam already talking 100 miles an hour as he rubbed his eyes and showed off his legos.  Poor kid probably has summer allergies , she thought before looking back at the woman behind the counter.  

“You look like you got some color,” the blonde tilted her head.

“I got back into running when I was there,” she glanced down at her arms that had tanned.

“It looks nice,” Grace smiled, “and a haircut?”

“Oh, yeah. Well normally I keep it a little shorter because it’s always in a bun but then I was trying to grow it out and then I went with bangs but that didn’t really fit my style, not that I really have a style but…”  why was she talking so much? The lady didn’t care about her hair ! 

“It suits you, I think I like it shorter,” the blonde reached out and brushed Maria’s bangs out of her face and towards the rest of her perfectly kept hair.  How had they come out of the rest of her bun ? 

“Oh, by the way, she had an episode today so she’ll probably be pretty tired. You can let me know if she falls asleep and I’ll head down and take her home,” she gave a nervous smile. 

“Liam’s been pretty lethargic today too,” Grace looked back at the two kids who were sitting at their usual table, “but that sounds good Maria, you have a good rest of your day.”

“Yeah, you too Grace,” she smiled,  were her cheeks warm ? “Bye Ellie, Bye Liam!”

The kids waved back and she left, heading back to her office to process what had just happened in peace. Of course, peace was the last thing she found as she sat down at her desk. Instead she found reports of strange energy readings in London and a missing astrophysicist. 

Chapter Text

Blue eyes flickered to the corner of her screen, then to the watch on her wrist, then to her work phone to confirm what she feared. She was late. It had been a whirlwind of an afternoon and now she was almost half an hour late to pick up her kid from The Center. 

She tucked all of the files she needed into her backpack and unplugged her tablet, throwing it in the bag as she pulled her office door closed behind her. The elevator seemed to take longer than normal and there was a line of parents waiting to sign their children out. By the time she got to the front of the line, she was closer to 45 minutes late. 

Ellie walked out with her end-of-day report and a wave over her shoulder to Grace who was working on getting other children out the door. Her small hands barely fiddled with the straps on her backpack, and she said nothing as they got into the elevator. 

“I’m sorry,” Maria was the first to break the silence as they approached their car, “I’m sorry that I was late, I’m going to set an alarm on my phone so it doesn’t happen again.”

She watched as the curly-haired child got into her car seat without protest and leaned her head on the side of the rest before nodding once to Maria. The Commander opened her mouth to continue apologizing before realizing the girl was utterly exhausted, not upset. The buckles on the car seat fastened and she got into the driver seat, opting to turn the music down and allow the girl to rest on the ride home.

Where their drives home were normally full of music and questions about how Ellie’s day went, this time it was different. Maria found herself glancing back in the rearview mirror not to see if the girl was dancing to the music, but to see if she had fallen asleep yet. With her head lolled slightly to the side, the child slept for the majority of the drive. The exhaustion from teleporting that day left the girl dead asleep even after Maria cut the engine.

“Sweet girl,” she ran her thumb across the girl's cheek, “we’re home.”

Ellie blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes before leaning her head back on the car seat. The Commander's hands unbuckled the safety retrains before wrapping around the child and picking her up for the second time that day. She put her own backpack on before carrying the space-themed one in one hand, and the sleeping child in the other. 

“Hello,” the doorman’s features softened as he saw the girl who normally waved to him fast asleep, “well isn’t that precious. Long day?”

“Very,” Maria nodded, “have a good night, Sergius.”

“You as well,” he helped them into the elevator and gave a small wave. 

She unlocked the door and laid Ellie down on the couch, the child barely stirred, only waking when Maria went to take her shoes off. She had a flashback of the first time she had done that on the Helicarrier, only this time the shoes fit her properly and Phil wasn’t here anymore. It was that thought that brought her to pull out her phone as she made dinner. 

The line continued to trill, she had expected as much, but still, she waited until the very last ring.

“Hey, Ria,” May’s voice caught her off guard, not only had she answered but she sounded much more sober than she had in any other conversation. 

“May,” she smiled and put the rice in the rice cooker, “hey how are you?”

“I’m doing a little better,” the agent sighed, “it’s still a lot but I’ve been going to therapy.” 

“Therapy is good, I’m glad you’re feeling a little better,” she pulled vegetables out of the fridge and paused, “I was just-”

“Thinking about my dead husband?” the woman cut straight to the point, “yeah, me too.” 

“Not just him, you too ya know. You’re still one of my best friends whether you like it or not,” she held the phone between her shoulder and ear, envisioning the look of annoyance on the face of the woman on the phone. 

“Yeah well, I've been pretty shitty in that department, and I’m sorry for that,” the words were quiet as they came over the speaker. 

“I forgive you, you’ve been mourning and I’ve been busy so we can just call it even okay?”

“Thank you,” May let out a breath, “how is she? Elizaveta I mean, is she- is she still around or…”

Maria snorted, “yeah, she’s still around. She’s passed out on the couch right now but man May you gotta see how far this kid has come already. I took her to the Barton’s and she had a blast on the farm. She made a friend at The Center and wowed the pants off Fitzsimmons today, I mean both of them just jaws on the floor! She’s gaining weight and she’s really starting to come around,” she went to say more before she realized the woman on the phone hadn’t said a word, “Mel?”

“I’m still here,” the agent was clearly trying to fight back tears. 

“Whenever you’re around, I know she’d love to see you,” Maria lowered her voice, “I saw your request for that new team and I know you’re going to be gone as soon as you get here but, ya know, if you ever feel like dropping by.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Hill,” the conversation was clearly over, “thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah you do that. I’ll let ya go but don't be a stranger okay?” Maria looked at the girl on the couch, wishing that Phil could see her now.

“Will do, bye Ria.” May hung up before she could even respond. 

Vegetables sat partially chopped in front of her as she put her phone down, feeling no better than she had before she called her friend. 

The rest of the night was spent trying to wrangle a child who acted less like a human and more like a limp noodle. Ellie had eaten half of her dinner, had almost fallen asleep in the bath, and Maria was pretty sure that they had forgotten to brush her teeth before she curled into bed that night. She couldn’t remember her episodes being this draining before, but with the travel from the Barton’s and playing at The Center, she tried not to worry too much and chalk it up to over exhaustion. 

The Deputy Director pulled out her tablet and continued to work for hours after she put the girl to bed. She had created a team to have on standby in case anything suspicious came up regarding the missing astrophysicist. The hours ticked by and she continued to work until she felt as tired as Ellie looked. 

If she had been any heavier of a sleeper she would have missed it, in fact, she thought she had imagined the knock at the door at first. Still, she got up and opened it to reveal a teary-eyed Ellie on the other side, flashlight clutched to her chest. 

“What’s wrong little bear?” Maria knelt down and took in the sight of the child, her hair was matted to the side of her head, and her pajamas were twisted across her torso. 

The girl rubbed her eyes and opened her mouth to explain, but all that came out were hiccups of a cry as the child inhaled repeatedly. 

“Okay okay, you don’t have to talk,” the woman put her hand up and suddenly found it full of the girl's cheek as Ellie did something for the first time, actively seeking out comfort. She then reached a small hand up and squeezed the woman twice. 

Maria didn’t need any more of an invitation and picked the child up, cradling her against her chest. She had carried kids before, the Barton children most often, she had even carried Ellie before, but for some reason this time it was different. Maybe she had hooked her arm more comfortably, maybe Ellie had dropped her guard because she was tired and was more relaxed, maybe it was because Maria had come to the conclusion that the girl was hers, whatever it was, it was as if Maria Hill’s arms were made to hold the child. 

She rocked from one foot to the other as she paced around her room, any time she stopped she would get a small sniffle from the child. It was late, she knew she had a mountain of work to do the next day, and yet she wanted to do nothing more than comfort the little one in her arms. 

“You can tell me what’s wrong if you want” she felt the girl's forehead, she was warm but not feverish, and figured the child was more scared than sick. 

Ellie shook her head again before pressing her cheek to Maria’s chest. The woman understood and walked out of the room, opting to pace the entirety of the apartment. She passed the girl's room and saw the blankets had been thrown to the ground, most likely kicked off during a nightmare. The two had made it 6 lengths of the space before Maria felt warm tears soak into her old West Point shirt. Still, she continued to pace, rubbing the girl's back as she did. 

“The man,” the child was clearly trying to compose herself, “that man.”

“The cold one?” Maria had a feeling she was referencing the God that she had talked about earlier that day. 

“Yes,” Ellie rubbed her eyes and balled her fists into Maria’s shirt. 

“His name is Loki, he isn’t from here,” she recalled the information she had read up on that day after finding out the same scientist that worked with Thor was missing, “he is from another world far far away, in fact, that’s where he is right now. Far far away in a place called Asgard.”

The little girl made no noise, but tears continued to fall onto Maria’s shirt. She wondered if she had been trained to stay quiet even when she cried. 

“He has a brother, his name is Thor and he took him back to Asgard to make sure he doesn’t hurt people ever again,” she started to pace once more. 

“Did not keep safe.”

“He told you that he would keep you safe and he didn't?” It was the first time the girl had offered up the information. Maria wracked her brain to try and remember everything she had read in the book titled: Trauma Through a Child's Eyes: Awakening the Ordinary Miracle of Healing. 

“He tell Kyra but Kyra tell me, and we try help but-” the girl took a shaky breath, “but but- could not and did not do good and take her away. Then was cold and shake and- did not like it, Ria!” Ellie sobbed into the woman's chest as she recalled her time with the God. 

Maria kissed the girl on the top of her head and rubbed her back, wishing more than ever that she could take her pain away, it was too much for a 5-year-old to have. 

“I’m so sorry little one, I’m so sorry that happened to you,” she paced, remembering the first time she saw the child who was pushed through the portal, “I know that he told you he cared and that he would keep you safe but didn’t. But you know who will keep you safe and care about you?”

Ellie craned her neck to look at Maria, green eyes still filled with unshed tears. 

“Me. I’m going to keep you safe, I’m going to care about you forever. It’s you and me kid,” the words came out of her mouth before she could think, “You know how I know that?”

The girl stroked the damp spot on Maria’s shirt.

“Because I have been looking for you since before I knew you,” she kissed the girl's head and continued to pace.

“Since before?” the small voice came as a surprise.

“Since before little bear, I would go and work, and work, and work, to try and find you. You remember the muffin video?” it had been the better part of 2 months since the child had seen it, yet she still signed *yes*. 

“I was working to try and find you when Tasha sent that over, I would look at pictures of signs all over Russia just so I could make sure you were safe,” the brunette felt the girl curl back into her spot in her arms. 

She told the child the story of how she found her (leaving out the part where she had been intoxicated when she finally found the location) and how excited she was to make sure the little girl was okay. The clock on the stove read 2am by the time Maria’s arms finally gave out and she was forced to put the child back to bed. She checked the girl's temperature with the back of her hand once more to rule out a fever before tucking the child in.

Ellie’s face was void of all fear as she slept, a rare glimpse of true peace found its way across her features. Maria couldn’t help but stroke her fingers over the girl’s cheeks, whispering hopes of wonderful dreams as she did so. She gave her a kiss on the forehead before heading back into her own room, leaving both of their doors open to make sure she could hear if the child had another nightmare. 

It was bright and early the next morning when her phone started to alert her to the requests for meetings and plans of action as other agents got word of a new development in London. Maria worked quickly to get herself and Ellie ready for the day before ushering them out the door and to work. She dropped the child off at The Center and ran to her first meeting of a very long day, hoping the curly-haired girl would have a better day. 

After two planning and execution meetings, one incident report, half an hour filling in for a sick handler, and two more strategy meetings, the Deputy Director put her head down on the wooden surface of her desk and let out a deep breath. The day had been mostly focused on what was happening in London, deploying the team Hill had created, and a very brief but informative conversation with a person she had met once before named Darcy. She sat up and reached for her phone for the first time that day, the top notification being a video message from Natasha.  

“Hey Hill,” the Russian’s face filled most of the screen, there was a trail of blood leading from her nose (that looked completely broken) to her lip and she wore a freshly busted lip, “I thought I’d check in because… I don't know… I think I have a real shot this time. Of doing it right and I felt like someone at SHIELD should have this on the radar if the sky starts raining building pieces.”

Maria shook her head, unsure of if the Russian was truly expecting building pieces falling from the sky, or trying and failing to recall an English idiom. Wherever she was, it was already sunny and warm enough for the redhead to be in a black t-shirt as she ran her tongue over the drop of blood on her lip.

“Don't worry about this by the way,” she rolled her eyes, “it was a calculated risk ya know? And it paid off. Or at least I think it will, we’ll see I guess.”

Maria’s eyes were locked on the screen, not missing a single thing that happened for the next minute and a half. 

“I was thinking last night about the first time Clint and I were on a mission together,” and then, for the first time in a long time, the redhead smiled, “god, what a shit show that was. I was so scared that I would mess up and that SHIELD would kick me out. I just remember thinking that Clint was going to cut ties halfway through and leave me to finish the mission alone and I would fuck it all up and be on my own again. Can you say abandonment issues?”

The brunette smiled, she remembered reading the report after. Clint had tripped an alarm and their simple recon mission turned into a full firefight in the first 10 minutes, neither left the other's side and they were inseparable from that moment on. 

“Anyway, you’ll be proud of me, I took a page out of your book and planned this down to the minute with four different backup plans. It’s going to work out, it has to, I have to get her out of there. I’m just scared that she’ll hate me or I’ll have been too late and she’s-” the spy shook her head, “anyway, I just wanted to give you an update. And also let you know that I literally took a page from your book, dark blue binder labeled “Plan Execution” on your bottom right shelf. Okaybye.”

The screen was frozen on the sly smile the Russian gave, her eyes a little greener than the last video she had sent. 

<Msg>
Ria: Don't get in too much trouble, check in every 12.
Maria sent the text off and went to look at her binder before noticing she had a missed call from The Center and another memo on her desk from them. Her heart raced as she booked it out of her office and down to the space in record time. 

“Hey,” Grace gave a tight-lipped smile.

“Hey, where is she-” Maria scanned Ellie’s normal table, “Is she okay? Did she teleport or-”

“She's fine, we called her emergency contact,” the blonde chuckled.

“You called-” the brunette winced. 

Grace hummed and nodded, “and he came and picked her up.”

That would explain the lack of Fury during her last two meetings. 

“Is she okay?” Her stomach twisted in knots. 

“She is,” now it was the blonde's turn to wince, “but she does have pinkeye. Liam gave it to her yesterday, his parents thought that it was just allergies but called this morning and told us what it was. They were really sorry and by the time I got to Ellie, her eyes were pretty gunked up. She was totally fine other than the itchy eyes.”

“But Grace… Fury only has-” 

“Oh I’m well aware of how many eyes the Director has,” she laughed, “and when I told him what was going on, he then rolled that eye and signed her out.” 

“Did he say where they were going?” Maria ran a hand over her face. 

“Nope.”

“Alright, well I gotta go find my kid and my boss. Thanks,” she sighed. 

“No problem, bye Maria,” Grace waved as she exited the space.

She figured they had to still be in the building and first checked the cafeteria which let her know that they had come by, but weren’t there any longer. She then checked the large conference rooms, figuring that Fury would want as much space away from the child as possible. They were still nowhere to be found. She finally went to the top level of the building and to the corner office. 

“Fury?” she called out as she knocked on the door that unlocked quickly. 

The scene that met her would not, in 100 years, have been what she expected. Ellie gave her a lopsided grin from where she was seated on top of Fury’s desk, space stickers covering most of the wood, the Director’s phone, and a file that sat next to a bowl that looked like it had once held ice cream. 

“Sir, I am so sorry,” she walked into the office and closed the door behind her, “I was working on the situation in London and-”

He held up a hand, effectively silencing her as he pulled a bottle of eye drops out from his drawer and tossed them to her, “These are supposed to go in her eyes every 4 hours. Also, she prefers chocolate sprinkles over rainbow ones.”

Ellie rubbed her eyes and nodded, then held up a sticker for Maria. She took it and placed it on the backside of her badge, “thank you.”

“We also learned the sign for sticker,” he motioned to the child who tapped her thumb and middle finger together. 

“Thank you, sir, I really appreciate it,” she walked over to collect the child and her space backpack. 

“No problem, kept me from going to those dumbas-” he censored himself, “those silly meetings.”

Maria had to stifle a laugh as she looked at her boss, whose eye looked just a little red, “You might want to get some drops for your own eye. Wouldn’t want to be down to-”

“Out of my office Hill,” he pointed at the door before she could get the whole joke out, “bye little miss.”

Ellie smiled and turned around to face the man, “bye Fuzzy.”

She waited until they were in the elevator to look at the girl who held her hand, “what the heck?” she laughed which got a shrug and giggle from the child, “did you have an okay day?”

“Yes,” Ellie held out her shirt that had stickers on it, “Fuzzy take me to get drops then ice cream, and let me pick up phone when it blink then slam down.”

The brunette wondered where the stickers had come from (she had a sneaking suspicion the Director had bought them specifically for the child he seemed to have a soft spot for) and wondered who she hung up on during the few hours she had been with Fury. She looked at the child whose eyes were red and irritated, but other than that seemed as normal as ever. 

“You mind if we stop by my office for a little before we go home?” there was no way she was allowed to send a child with pinkeye back to daycare and figured she would need to bring her work home with her. 

Ellie shook her head and rubbed her eyes. And so the two of them went back to the Deputy Director's office and collected all of the items she needed including the sheet of glow-in-the-dark stars Fitzsimmons had given them the day before. Maria looked at the stickers and then over to the girl who kicked her legs as she sat on the couch in the corner of the room. 

“You got a lot of people who really care about you, do you know that?” She smiled as she watched the girl's cheeks flush. 

“Really?” Ellie wouldn’t make eye contact. 

“Really really, you have me, and Fury and Fitzsimmons, we can’t forget all of the Bartons and Liam,” she sat next to the child who was smiling, “plus May and you’ll always have Phil who loves you and will watch over you even if you can’t see him. I want you to remember that, okay?”

*ok* the child nodded. 

“Alright now let's go home so I can feed you something that isn’t just ice cream,” Maria stood up and shook her head.

“Like ice cream,” Ellie spoke quietly, “and sprinkles.”

“Oh, I know you do,” she had noticed the remnants of the treat on the corner of the child’s mouth, “but we have to eat real food too. Even when we have pink eye.”

The Commander guided them out of the office and back to the parking garage where she took a picture of her old car that she had come to the conclusion would need to be sold. Feeding a child who burned through calories at an astonishing rate was expensive, the car could buy them a few more months of grocery bills. Ellie was clearly feeling better as she protested getting into the car seat.

“Elizaveta,” Maria used her work voice, hoping it would work. The 5-year-old continued to stare at her, unfazed, “come on you know the drill, the faster you get in the seat the faster we get home and you can help me put the star stickers in your room.”

As per usual, the bribe worked and the child reluctantly let Maria buckle her in. From there, it was a typical drive home with the windows down and music playing in the summer sun. Maria pulled her hair out of her bun and smiled as she looked into the rearview mirror. The child kicked her legs out and danced along in her car seat. 

The two continued with their normal routine through the rest of the evening until it came to adding medicated drops to the girl's eyes. 

“Honey, you have to try and keep your eyes open the best you can,” Maria sighed after another failed attempt. 

Once again, Ellie kept her eyes wide open until the very last moment when she would blink.

“Alright, how about this,” the woman pulled her phone out of her back pocket and opened up google, “you look at what constellations you want to try and make on your ceiling and I do it when you’re not expecting.”

The child looked skeptical at first but after Maria started showing her pictures of constellations, she caved and began to scroll with her eyes glued to the screen. From there, it went much quicker and they were adding stickers to the girl’s room within 10 minutes. 

“Liam?” Ellie asked as Maria placed the last few glow-in-the-dark stars. 

“What about Liam?” she shook her arm out and admired the near-perfect constellation on the ceiling. 

“Has pink… eye?” the girl questioned.

“Yeah, Liam has pink eye too,” she left out the fact that the boy was the one who gave it to her, “so he’s out of daycare until next week too.”

This was apparently what the child wanted to know as she nodded and then looked up at the constellation from where she sat on her bed. They had chosen Ursa Major, it seemed fitting. 

“We can charge them by holding Aлена, up to them and then turning off the light,” Maria outstretched her arm and held continuous light to the stickers before turning everything off and watching as they glowed. 

“Thank you,” Ellie didn’t pull her eyes away from the constellation as she ran her fingers over the hem of her pajamas. 

“You’re welcome, little bear,” Maria tucked the child in, “now it’s time for bed.”

She wished the girl sweet dreams and closed the door. She then stood by the door and listened as the flashlight turned on and off as the girl continued to charge the newest addition to her room. The brunette shrugged to herself and fished cleaning up the dishes from dinner while she glanced at her phone to see if Natasha had checked in yet. She had not. 

It was approaching 12 hours since she had sent off the message, closer to 15 since she received the video. The Commander wondered if Natasha actually had a good reason for the broken nose or if it was obtained after she followed a lead. She then wondered if the agent had found the location of the Red Room if she was going to bring it down herself if she was going to let local authorities know if she had help. But the one question that lingered longer than all others, was the question of the Russian's safety. She tried to push it out of her mind and focus on the events in London, it worked for long enough for her to fall asleep. 

As soon as sunlight hit her room, she looked at her phone, no check-in. She officially allowed herself to start to worry. That worry turned to anger and frustration as the next few days passed, each without a check-in. She continued to work and keep Ellie entertained to try and keep her mind off of the negative feelings. 

When her phone finally vibrated on the third day, she had half a mind not to answer it out of anger. But of course, after the second ring, she clicked accept “I’m currently dealing with the space God and Darcy who are opening portals in London to kill elves, an agent who hasn’t checked in for the last 74 hours, oh and my kid has pinkeye. Make it quick.” 

Maria rolled her eyes as she cradled her phone between her shoulder and ear as she reached for a band-aid for Ellie who had just run into the coffee table and cut her leg. 

“She’ll be there,” Natasha panted, “tonight. She’ll be there tonight with your address.” 

Chapter Text

“I’ll make sure she’s safe,” the Commander was suddenly no longer angry, all it took was hearing Natasha’s voice, “are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” the Russian sounded less out of breath, “fine. But I have to go.”

“Check. In. Romanoff.”

“I will, promise. Okaybye.”

Maria carried the bandaid back into the living room where Ellie continued to run around in circles, not caring that the blood on her leg continued to drip. She couldn’t help but feel as if she was making a mistake by letting someone from the girl's past come here now, after all of the progress she had seen.  

“Come on, Bear,” she wrangled the child for just long enough to put the bandaid on, “how do your eyes feel?”

*Good* Ellie signed and then took off again, running into Maria’s room and then back into the kitchen several times. 

“We’re going to get you out of the house, get some of that energy out,” the Commander sighed and shook her head.

She collected her tablet from the coffee table and started a new list of items she wanted to do before the newest widow was in her home. Trying her best to remember how Natasha was when she first entered SHIELD and what she needed. The brunette then looked at the child who was fairly close to wearing herself out and tried to remember what she had needed on the Helicarrier. 

To-Do: Version 3_Widow_July2012

-Grocery shopping (Carbs, veg, protein, meal replacement, hideable food, pre-packaged) 

-Laundry (Tasha’s clothes, towels, bedding)

-Lock up work (weapons, files, computer)

-Visitor pass for the gym

-Clean floors

Ellie continued to run as Maria looked at the drops of blood that were still on the hardwood floors and underlined the last item on her list. There would be enough time to get it all done, but only if they started now.

“Alright, let’s get ready,” she announced to the child who stopped in her tracks, eyes wild, “we're going out.”

“Out?” the child questioned.

“Out,” Maria confirmed, picking the girl up on her way into the bathroom and putting her on the counter to add more eye drops. 

The two got ready for the day, the Commander left out the reason why they were grocery shopping on a day that wasn’t Sunday which didn’t seem to go unnoticed by the child who eyed her as they brushed their teeth. 

“Try your best not to touch your eyes… or really anything else,” Maira watched as Ellie rubbed her eyes. The girl was no longer contagious but still, it felt like they should be careful.  

They arrived at the same grocery store they always went to and although the curly-haired girl had made significant strides in her progress, the store was an area she never seemed to be comfortable in. Such was the case now as she clung to Maria’s hand tightly, eyeing every person who walked by with a stony face. 

“Want me to pick you up?” it would be difficult to push the cart at the same time, but worth it if it made Ellie more comfortable. 

The girl shook her head and wove her fingers into the lattice of the basket, it was always hit-and-miss on what the child wanted inside the store. Maria recalled the first time they had gone, how Ellie had sat in the cart like a scared animal. Things had improved since then, if only barely.

They continued walking slowly down each aisle, Ellie keeping her fingers on the cart the whole time until she saw the blighty-colored oatmeal packets, then she took off towards them, racing towards the end of the row. At the same time, a man had turned his cart, causing Ellie to bump into the side and stumble back. 

“You need to watch where you’re going,” his voice was old and gruff as he looked at the girl, “where are your parents?”

Ellie stared at the man, narrowing her eyes, “you move without looking.”

“Oh great, the kid doesn't even speak English,” he boomed, “do you even have parents, or are you just here to steal?” 

Maria reached out and guided the girl behind her as she walked up, “she has a parent, a parent who would like for you to apologize for running into a 5-year-old child.” 

The man had to crane his neck slightly to look at Maria, he glanced around at other shoppers who were now looking at the man who had caused a commotion. 

“Tell your kid in whatever language it is, that she needs to watch out and not run into things,” he glanced around again, nervously. 

Maria went for the kill, “Don't worry, she understands English just fine, so she’ll be able to understand perfectly when I say that you need to apologize before you get even more embarrassed.”

The tension was palpable as he muttered “sorry,” and went to push past the Commander. She didn't move.

“What was that?” she looked down at him.

“I said sorry!” he yelled before storming off. 

Maria crouched down next to the girl who still had her eyes locked on the man, “you okay?”

Ellie nodded and looked at another family that had stuck around during the altercation. 

“Okay, how about you grab that oatmeal and hang out in the cart?” she motioned to the oatmeal that had been long forgotten. 

“You two alright?” the woman called out from where she stood with a man and two children.

“Oh, yeah,” Maria gave a tight smile, “thanks.”

“People these days,” the man sighed, “no concept of what's right and wrong.” 

The Deputy Director chuckled, “tell me about it. Thanks again.”

The family walked away and in one fluid motion, Maria picked Ellie up and placed her in the basket with the rest of the groceries. The girl was frozen in the spot she was put in, clenching her fists tightly and looking around nervously, clearly shaken up by the man.   

“How about I give you this and I tell you which items to cross off when we get them?” Maria held out the list to the girl who eyed the paper and then scooted over to pick it up, she had only ridden in the basket once before but had liked checking items off. 

That was all it took for things to change, Ellie’s new sense of freedom to move around the cart, along with the new vantage point, made the grocery trip much more enjoyable. The child moved from one side to the other, crossing off items and helping Maria organize the items in the basket. By the time they made it to the register, she had a small smile on her face as she helped the bagger who handed her the items.

“Such a good helper, out for summer then?” the woman behind the register asked, she looked as if she spent the majority of her time running after kids.

“Daycare for now,” Maria answered politely.

“I do not miss those days,” the woman gave out a bark of a laugh, “always coming home with some type of cold or bug. Bless your heart. Just the one?”

“Just the one,” Maria nodded, still getting used to calling the girl hers. 

Ellie finished loading the last of the items and then started pointedly at the bagger who was clearly a new worker, in for the summer. 

“You can ask,” Maria chuckled, hoping to help the girl find her voice but knowing she would ask if it looked like it would be too much. 

“Do have… do you have once sticker?” the child tapped her fingers together and looked at her shoes. 

“Oh um- do I?” the bagger asked the woman at the register who smiled and handed over a stack of stickers. 

Ellie’s eyes widened as she saw the stickers.

“Here,” the bagger handed a sticker over, “have a good day.”

The child immediately handed the sticker to Maria to help her put it on, holding still as the adhesive clung to her shirt, proclaiming her “A valued Wegmans customer”. It was the same sticker she always got, but still, the lopsided grin returned as the two made their way back into the heat and humidity of the summer. 

From there, the day flew by with Maria trying to get everything ready while keeping the 5-year-old entertained. Which meant she let Ellie watch way more TV than she normally did while she cleaned and put together essentials for the Widow set to arrive. She made dinner and put a plate to the side, knowing that it would most likely not be eaten because it wasn’t prepackaged, still, she wanted something home cooked to be available. 

“Not even very tired,” Ellie rubbed her eyes as she lay in bed. 

“I think you might be if you try closing your eyes,” Maria was still sitting with the girl on her bed, the story they had just read in her lap.

“But might not,” the child used her hands to push the brown curls out of her face. It was only at the end of the day that her hair was down, much to the annoyance of Ellie who preferred it out of her face. 

“But might be,” the blue-eyed woman smoothed the girl's curls.

Ellie huffed and then tried her very best not to yawn, but in the end, she couldn’t stop it and smiled up at Maria before looking past her and at the constellation that was pressed into her ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stickers.  

“I’ll come to check on you in a little bit, okay?” she told the girl the same thing every night. 

<ok> the girl nodded. 

“Goodnight, little bear,” she kissed the top of the girl's head, “sweet dreams.” 

The door closed behind her with a click, and she was right back into work mode. While normally this meant pulling out her tablet and reading reports, this time it was putting together a box of items she could leave for the visitor. She changed the sheets on her own bed, figuring that she would want a door with a lock, and added toiletries to the bathroom, prepackaged food, and a change of clothes to the bedroom. 

From there, she paced and cleaned, and chewed gum to try and help fight nerves before pacing and cleaning more. The commander locked away all weapons and files in her desk, more for her own peace of mind, she was aware of how little widows needed to cause damage. She then continued to pace, and clean. It was all she could do while she waited. 

She spit out the piece of gum that had lost all flavor before replacing it with another, the strong mint bringing her out of her own head momentarily. Natasha had said “tonight” but looking at the clock that read 1:45am, the Commander wondered if the Russian had meant “tonight” in a different time zone. She then worried about transportation,  maybe the flight had been delayed, maybe she didn’t have money for a cab, maybe -

Her head swiveled quickly to the door as the knock, once, twice… then a third time. She let out a deep breath and steadied herself before opening the door, unsure of what would greet her on the other side. 

“You’re not as tall as Natalia made you seem, Maria Hill,” the blonde eyed her. 

“Everyone’s tall compared to her,” Maria shrugged and opened the door more, “come on in.”

She glanced around the empty hallway once before closing and locking the door. The girl was alone,  girl  being the first word that came to the woman’s mind as she looked at the blonde who tried to mask that fact with makeup. She was slightly taller than Natasha but thinner and rougher around the edges, she moved like a cat, silently, cautiously. 

“You can take a seat on the couch,” Maria gestured to the dark piece of furniture in the room and watched as she hesitated before taking a seat, “what can I get you, Yelena?”

“A first-aid kit if you have it,” her accent was thicker than Maria had recalled Natasha’s ever being, “and alcohol.”

“How old are you?” Maria squinted, sure that the girl wasn’t older than 20.

“Old enough, and it’s for disinfecting… mostly,” the blonde held her shirt up to show a number of abrasions on her torso. 

The Commander went into the bathroom and pulled out the large first aid kit, this wasn’t her first rodeo. She then went to the kitchen and got the bottle of shitty vodka that Natasha also claimed to use as a “disinfectant”, along with two beers. It was clear Yelena had tried to cover up the bruising on her face with makeup, however, it was still somewhat visible along with her slightly matted hair and black marker that ran past her right ear and into her hairline. If anyone needed a drink, it was the blonde who was scanning the apartment from the couch. 

“Here,” she handed the beer over, “there’s also a shower down the hall to the right, I can help patch you up after if you want.”

She didn’t mention that her room was the door in the center of the hallway, and she made absolutely sure not to mention that Ellie’s room was the door on the left. She trusted Natasha, her freshly released widow sister was another story. The brunette didn’t know if Yelena even knew Ellie and she wasn't planning on finding out if they had history any time soon. 

Yelena eyed her suspiciously, “I can clean them alone.” 

“Suit yourself,” Maria nodded and raised both hands, “just figured you’d probably need a shower. Two birds, one stone.”

“I do not have clothing,” the young woman took a swig of the beer, keeping her eyes on Maria the entire time. 

“There’s a fresh towel and some of your sister's clothes in there already,” she had washed all of Natasha’s clothes the day before in anticipation of this situation. 

“I- I do not have money to exchange but if you would like for me to pay in other ways...” the blonde scooted closer to Maria on the couch. 

“No,” the Deputy Director put her hand out to stop the advancement, “no, you don’t need to pay. You’re Tasha’s sister, you never have to pay, kid.”

“Tasha,” Yelena rolled the word around in her mouth and raised an eyebrow, “you know her well enough to call her that? Do you make her pay with her body?”

“No,” Maria shook her head, “no one is paying for anything with their body, she's just- she’s a friend and we look out for each other.”

Again the blonde stared at her as if she was trying to decide if Maria was telling the truth or not. However, the Deputy Director had an advantage, she had done this before and knew to keep it as casual as possible. She had learned not to push anything with girls who came out of the Red Room, letting them come to her. Once again, she was reminded of a cat. 

“Listen, shower, don't shower, it’s your call. I just know after a mission it’s the first thing I want to do, it’s the only reason I offered it. No other motives,” the brunette took a swig of her own beer and looked at the young woman next to her. 

The shirt she had on was a size or two too large, the pants barely covered her ankles and the shoes she had on were… well actually her shoes were probably the only thing that seemed to fit her well. Maria knew the signs of second-hand clothes, she personally knew that shoes were the most useful to get right, nothing was worse than trying to run away in shoes that didn’t fit. She thought about Ellie and how her shoes had been too big and too tight when she arrived in the Carrier.  

“How many days ago did you get out?” The Deputy Director hadn’t seen anything come up on her radar yet and knew it couldn’t have been more than a week from the video Natasha had sent her. 

The blonde continued to eye her, opened her beer, and took a drink, “it came down three days ago, Natalia needed to cut a few leads and it took me time to buy the ticket to come here.” 

“How many times have you eaten since then?” 

Yelena shook her head, “the ticket was most important, I needed to get out.”

“I have leftover spaghetti from dinner,” she thought about the plate in the fridge.

Maria got up to heat the meal when she saw the blonde look at the bathroom door, “go ahead, I’ll have food ready when you’re out. Take your time, the hot water doesn't really run out in a building like this.”  

She knew from the hours she spent sitting in the spray after missions gone wrong or nightmares that lingered into the waking hours. She also remembered how Ellie was unaware warm water could come out of the tap and wanted Yelena to know without outright telling her. 

“Thank you,” it was barely audible as the young woman walked into the bathroom, holding her side and limping slightly. 

It was only after the door clicked into the locked position that she let out a breath, trying to keep her composure. The apartment was now full of trained killers, two of which didn’t know about each other, one that was coming down after a lifetime of abuse, one that was just learning to trust, and Maria, who was trying desperately to help both. She pulled the plate out of the fridge and listened to the sound of metal (most likely small weapons) hitting the tile flooring in the bathroom. 

The shower lasted just long enough for Maria to worry. There was no telling exactly how injured Yelena was or if she needed help. The brunette had just resolved on giving the girl 2 more minutes before she would knock when she heard the water shut off. She pulled dinner out of the microwave and placed it on the island with a glass of water, unsure of what else to do. She had just gotten an extra napkin when the door to the bathroom flew open.  

“You drug her?” The blonde’s voice was full of anger as she held up Ellie’s metabolism stabilizers and her prescription of eye drops, “The widow in your care? You drug?”

“No- no she has to take those to keep her from losing weight because of the teleportation and she’s just getting over a case of pink eye,” she shook her head. 

“She is a killer,” Yelena eyed her, “You could use her for your own advantage because she will take what you give her.”

“No that’s not at all-”

“You turned a Red Room assassin into something even more deadly and expect for me to just believe that you do not use that as an advantage?” the blonde scoffed.

“First of all,  I  didn’t turn her into anything. I wasn’t involved in any of that, I’m just trying to help,” Maria approached the young woman slowly. 

“Do you even understand what you have in your possession? What you could be doing with a girl from the Red Room?” Yelena furrowed her brows and shook her head.

“She’s a child I-”

“You don't know! You do not know what we- what she went through!” Yelena raised her voice which began to waiver. 

“Yelena, I’m just here to try and help,” Maria kept her voice low and even. 

“You do not know!” the Russian yelled, throwing her hands into the air.

The blonde had made enough noise to wake the sleeping child in the room she stood next to. Maria stepped forward and braced herself as she watched the doorknob turn slowly. 

Ellie stood in the dim light of the bathroom, one hand clutching her flashlight, the other rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She blinked once and squinted before her eyes widened as she took in the sight of Yelena. Maria took a step to separate the two, unsure of what history lay between them.

“Elizaveta?” Yelena took a step back on unstable legs as she took in the sight in front of her, shaking her head in disbelievement. 

The child looked back and forth from the widow to Maria over and over, unsure of what was happening. 

“Don't want go back,” she had tears falling as she begged Maria who went to pick her up but before she could get there Yelena started talking quickly in Russian. 

The Deputy Director knew enough words to understand what was being said, even if she didn’t she would have understood as the girl stopped crying rather quickly and listened to everything the blonde said, eyes wide. 

“ It’s gone, no one will ever go back again Lizochka ,” Yelena repeated over and over as she brought the girl into her arms.

Ellie clung to the material of the hoodie Yelena wore, not letting go even as the blonde stood up. The two stayed pressed into one another for well over an hour, Maria listened as the older girl continued to talk to the younger even after she had fallen asleep in her embrace on the couch. 

“Natasha didn’t tell me who-” Yelena looked at Maria who sat on the other side of the room in an armchair, “I think she figured I would not have known someone this young.”

The brunette nodded, she had assumed the same thing. 

“I apologize for my anger, I have not had the ability to feel my emotions in a very long time,” the blonde swallowed, “I did not mean to scare or offend you.”

“I know you didn’t,” Maria gave a small smile, “let me get that dinner for you.”

She walked into the kitchen and braced herself on the sink, it was nearing 3 in the morning and all she wanted to do was take Ellie in her own arms and go to bed. It was a feeling she couldn’t quite place, fear and jealousy swirled with a protective edge that sat uncomfortably in her stomach. She washed her hands and brought the food into the living room, placing it next to the blonde who she assumed wouldn’t actually end up eating it.  

To her surprise, Yelena picked up a piece of garlic bread and ate it quickly. The blonde was clearly hungry enough to risk potential poisoning, a thought that caused Maria to force herself from frowning.

“We have more, just let me know what you need,” she sat back in the chair and tried her best not to watch the girl wolf down the food while keeping Ellie in her arms the whole time. 

The widow ended up eating two plates before she was full, or at least until she was full enough to stop. It was always hard to tell with Natasha in the beginning too, if she was full or if she had been forced to be hungry for so long that she didn’t know what she felt anymore.   

They sat in silence, Maria didn’t want to push anything but could see the fatigue running deep in the girl's face. Finally, after Ellie moved around, she spoke up.

“I think it might be best if we go to bed,” Maria nodded her head toward the child, “I have my room set up for you. The lock works, there are snacks and more clothes for you as well.” 

Yelena tightened her grip on the girl, “I can sleep here.”

“I know you can,” the brunette agreed, “but I think you’ll find more comfort in the room. And unless you want to be up in a few hours with that one, she should go back to bed.”

Ellie was an early riser, it never bothered Maria but she figured Yelena would appreciate the extra hours. Apparently, the blonde felt the same way and relaxed her grip.

“I’ll carry her, you let those cuts heal,” she got up and gently scooped Ellie out of Yelena’s arms. 

The walk back to the child’s room wasn’t far, but Maria still cherished every step, hugging the girl once more as she tucked her in. By the time she was out of Ellie’s room, the door to her own room had been closed and locked, Yelena really was like a cat in her ability to stay silent. 

Maria made the couch into a bed and laid down, too exhausted to think, she slipped into sleep quickly. 

“Ria,” a little finger pushed her cheek in.

The woman sat up quickly, she couldn’t remember the last time Ellie had woken up before her, “hi, little one.”

The child held out her tablet that had parental locks in place, “please.”

“Not before breakfast, you know the rules,” she stretched her arms above her head and rolled out her shoulders before making her way into the kitchen where Yelena’s dishes still sat in the sink. 

Ellie climbed up the side of the island and took her spot at her regular stool, watching as Maria made coffee and oatmeal. 

“Are you okay? I know last night was probably a little scary for you,” she wasn’t sure how to approach the subject. 

“I do not have to go back?”

“No Ellie, no one is ever going back. It’s all gone now,” she poured coffee and watched as the child nodded slowly. 

“Forever?” Ellie stared at her, eyebrows pushed together. 

“Forever.”

Then, the curly-haired girl stuck out her pinky finger. 

“I promise,” Maria interlocked hers, “no one is ever going back there. Natasha and Yelena made sure of that.”

She wasn’t clear on the details but knew that the redhead wouldn’t leave any possibility of The Room opening back up, not again. Ellie nodded, then pushed her tablet across the island. 

“No you little gremlin,” Maria laughed, “food first.”

The girl did end up eating first and then getting ready for the day before she finally sat on the couch and watched space-related shows on her tablet. Maria sat at her desk and worked, trying her best not to worry about the other girl who had yet to make an appearance. In fact, it wasn’t until Ellie had gone back to bed that night, that the blonde finally came out of the bedroom and ducked into the bathroom. 

Maria waited quietly in the living room, she had music playing on the TV as she texted Laura and tried to make it look as if she hadn’t seen the young woman leave the bedroom. She wanted the blonde to feel as comfortable as possible and that she had full control, or at least, that’s what Laura had continued to urge over text. To her surprise, Yelena came into the living room after she finished in the bathroom, she stood awkwardly until Maria realized she needed an invitation to sit. A realization that made her stomach coil. 

“Come on over, take a seat,” she gave a small smile, “what can I get you?”  

Yelena fidgeted and eyed the hallway, Maria remembered Natasha’s advice with Ellie: don't give her too many options, it will overwhelm her. 

“We had chicken casserole but I think there might be a serving of spaghetti from last night if you’d rather have that,” she stood up and made her way into the kitchen, Yelena followed. 

“Do you have the bread from last night?”  Of course, she loves carbs, just like Tasha .  

“Yeah, how about I make you a plate and you eat what you want?” Maria asked, pulling out leftovers. She took the lack of a response as a yes and heated up the food. 

“I had not slept in some time,” Yelena dug into the food in front of her. 

“I’m glad you could catch up on some sleep then, growing bodies need extra sleep,” Maria commented watching as the blonde ate like a teenage boy, “The bed was comfortable enough for you to sleep?”  

Yelena laughed, it was raspy and quick, “Yes. The bed is… yes, very comfortable.”

“Good, good, sorry if Ellie woke you up, she..” Maria smiled, “she likes to sing when she’s in the shower and I know the walls can be a little thin.”

“It is not a problem,” Yelena glanced at the hallway again, “I am glad she finds enough comfort to do such a thing.”

The two sat in silence as Yelena finished eating, again having two plates of food before stopping. The blonde continued to look at the hallway and it wasn’t until Maria had finished cleaning the dishes that she figured it out. 

“You want to see her?” she dried her hands and watched the young woman give an embarrassed nod, “I’ll bring her into the living room, you can sit on the couch.”

She walked into the girl's room and ran her hands across the sleeping child’s peaceful face. Ellie stirred for a moment as she was lifted but didn’t wake up fully, even after she was placed in Yelena's arms. The blonde stared at Ellie for a long time, memorizing the details of her face if Maria had to guess. Finally, she spoke. 

“She had a…Тре́нер? I do not know the word in English,” she ran her hand over the girl's hair, “Kyra.” 

“A handler,” Maria filled in the word, having known what the woman did for Ellie. 

Yelena nodded, “She was a year above me. I remember the first day she was told to train this little mess of a first cycle, she had told us all that hers was going to make it. There were only 2 other widows in Kyra’s class, their first cycles were so much larger than this one, no one thought she’d survive.”

She paused and stared at the girl in her arms, as if she was going to disappear, “Kyra would come back from missions with her and you would hear her crying for hours down the hall until a madame would hit her and she stopped. None of us understood how she kept going, she was so small and she would cry and cry. We all called Krya crazy for saying the girl would make even one more cycle.”

Maria’s stomach coiled as she listened, trying to keep her face neutral and allow the girl to keep talking. 

“Then one day when we were training, we passed one of the smaller rooms and saw her in action. She was cowering in this corner listening to Kyra, she handed her the knife on her belt and the girl's face went blank, and I- I’ve never seen a four-year-old do what she did. It was like she did not have control over herself, she moved like one of the seventh-cycle girls. She was ruthless and we understood why Kyra would say that she knew this one would make it,” the blonde blinked a few times, “and then they didn’t come back. Everyone assumed that they were killed for being too good, that she had become only loyal to Kyra.”

“We found her in an old abandoned building,” the brunette spoke up.   

It was information Yelena didn’t have, but clearly wanted, “tell me.”

And so she did, recalling the area of Russia, the building, the portal, the God, all of it. They once again sat in silence until Yelena finally asked the question Maria had anticipated. 

“She was alone?” 

“She was, we did multiple sweeps of the building but other than two drunks on the first floor, she was the only one in it,” Maria nodded. 

Yelena looked deep in thought as she absentmindedly braided Ellie’s hair for close to an hour before her eyes looked tired as they had the night before. 

“I’ll take her back to bed,” Maria stood up and collected the girl. 

She kept Ellie in her arms a little longer that night before putting her to bed, Yelena had confirmed the terrible suspicions Maria had of the child. The brunette rocked back and forth for a few more minutes before laying the child down and returning to the now-empty couch.

It was the same routine for the next two nights, Yelena would stay in the room (either sleeping or afraid to come out during the day, Maria wasn’t sure) until Ellie was in bed. Maria would make her food and sit with her on the couch as the blonde held the child and gave small amounts of information she felt like talking about. 

The Commander had learned that Ellie had the flu when she was four and it almost killed her, that she was fluent in 5 languages, and that she was left-handed but forced to use both in everything most importantly when it came to the use of weapons. It was shocking how much the blonde had known about the girl, but it became less shocking the more that Maria learned about Kyra and how Yelena saw her as a sister.

She had made macaroni and cheese their third night, Yelena was currently on her third bowl and Maria made a mental note to buy more, it was clearly a favorite. They made their way into the living room where the blonde still needed an invitation to sit down but was getting more comfortable with the space. Maria brought the sleeping child out and placed her in Yelena’s arms, interested in what they would talk about tonight. 

The younger woman began braiding the curls that framed Ellie’s face, “she has always been the most beautiful, even as a very small girl. It was when I first started going under subjugation, only my second time when I woke she was there with others.”

She hadn’t talked about subjugation before, it clearly made her nervous as she braided faster.

“It was how they controlled you?” Maria offered, Yelena’s eyes locked with hers as she nodded. 

“You could not think for yourself, not act for yourself, making memories but they… they did not only belong to you,” she was quiet for a long time after this, “but I do remember her, I remember the first time seeing her. She was taken from Rostov Oblast.”

Again she was quiet, this time it was obvious she was trying to recall a memory that was just out of reach, “She, her family… they were travelers, Romani. But forgive me, I cannot recall anything else right now.”

“That’s more information than I had, thank you, Yelena,” Maria gave a soft smile. Any new information she could get about Ellie was a treasured gift, “do you know anything about where you’re from?”

“A little, I was-” the blonde started but then stopped and tensed as a knock rang out from the door. Once, twice… then a third time.        

Chapter Text

It was obvious from the knock (and the lack of weapons being drawn) that both women knew who was on the other side of the door. What took Maria by surprise was the way that Yelena reacted to the girl in her arms as if she was suddenly burned by the child. She removed Ellie from her clutch so quickly that Maria barely had time to keep the 5-year-old from falling off the couch. It was clearly a trained reaction, no intimate contact with others, regardless of how much you care for them. 

“Yelena, can you open the door for your sister?” Maria held the child in her arms, “I’m just going to put her back to bed.”

The blonde, who still sat perfectly still, nodded slightly and stood up. 

It wasn’t until she placed the child back into the soft comfort of the sheets adorned with stars, that she let herself take in what was happening. She was moments away from seeing Natasha, it had been weeks, so much had changed. Her fingers traced over the features of Ellie’s face as she took one final moment to compose herself before walking into the room where the gravel of Natasha’s voice called to her. 

The redhead was in slightly better condition than her sister, or at least she was better at hiding it. Her fingers ran through her hair as she pulled it away from her face and into a single braid, she talked to Yelena in low tones the whole time, Maria was sure she had never seen anyone more beautiful.

“Ria,” her smile was soft, her eyes were tired, but still she looked more at peace than Maria could remember ever seeing. It took everything in her not to reach out and pull the woman into her arms. 

“...hi,” she swallowed hard, for some reason her whole mouth had gone dry, “I can go get the med kit if you need but- you might want to shower so um- I can just go grab you some clothes or you can- I haven’t moved them but Yelena might have worn some of them so you’re welcome to mine- and there's dinner I can heat up if you’re hungry- I um. You know what? I’ll go grab you a drink.” 

Yelena quirked a single eyebrow as the Commander continued to ramble, Natasha just nodded. Maria walked quickly into the kitchen, throwing open the refrigerator, grateful for the blast of cool air. Great, even the kid saw you make a fool out of yourself. Get it together Maria.

She grabbed three beers by the neck of the bottle along with the “disinfecting” vodka and made her way back into the living room, grateful that her hands now had something to do. Were her hand always this awkward? 

“Thank you,” the redhead took both bottles with ease, “letting a minor drink?”

“Well technically she never told me her age,” she tried to make a valid excuse.

“And so you decided she was old enough to drink,” Natasha tilted her head to the side. 

“Well in Russia she’s old enough to drink,” Maria grasped at international legislative straws.

“I thought you said she didn’t tell you how old she was,” the Russian narrowed her eyes. 

“She- well she didn’t but-” her heart was racing, no one else could make her stubble the way Natasha could.

Yelena let out a clipped bark of a laugh, “Natalia stop so that the woman will hand me the beer, then please continue.” 

Maria looked down at the two bottles that remained in her hand, much warmer than they were moments before. She only handed it over after the redhead let a sly smile cross her face. With the tension broken, she sighed and sat on the coffee table across from the siblings, taking a long pull from the bottle in her hand. 

“I meant it, if you need the med kid,” she motioned to the bathroom with a quick nod to the door. 

“I think they’re all healed up now, but I will take you up on a shower later,” Natasha slumped into the couch, her eyes falling onto Yelena, “she caused you any problems?”

“Not one,” Maria answered in honesty, the girl had spent most of her first days holed away in the room. This was one of the longest stretches Maria had been around her, and one of the only times she had acted like the young woman she was. 

“I slept a majority of the time,” the blonde sipped her beer, eyeing her sister back, “and ate.”

“Sound like a real teenager,” Natasha playfully shoved the girl’s arm. 

“I am no longer in my teenage years!” The younger woman protested in a way that sounded very much like she was still in her teenage years. 

“You’re barely out of them, you’re still growing,” the green-eyed woman clarified, “you’re still learning. Like for instance, you’re still learning about what does and doesn't make you look like a dork.” 

Maria hadn’t paid much attention to Yelena's clothes after her first assessment that they had come from a second hand shop. Now that she looked closer, she could see that under her half-zipped jacket there was a dark green vest. 

“I do not look like a dork,” the blonde scoffed, her voice pitching high.

“Oh, yeah, you do,” Natasha flipped open a pack of gum from Maria’s hidden stash with practiced ease, “what is that like- Army surplus?”

“Da, Danke Shop,” the younger sister confirmed now looking at the vest, “I could not just walk around in my uniform, it was the only thing I could buy.”

Natasha was quiet, Maria watched as her jaw worked the piece of gum to try and rid the nerves she was feeling, silently she wondered how many other habits the Russian had picked up from her.

“That?” the redhead chuckled.

“It has a lot of pockets,” Yelena smoothed her hands over the material, “I use them all the time and I am even thinking about making some modifications- ugh whatever.”

Natasha continued to chuckle as her younger sister waved her hand in defeat, once again showing her age as she rolled her eyes.

It really was as if Maria was seeing the young woman for the first time, she was more comfortable around Natasha. Her mannerisms, her body language, all of it was much more open than Maria had seen it before. She couldn’t blame her, Natasha brought out the same side in herself.  

“Okay so this one didn’t give you any problems, but did SHIELD?” the Russian flipped the conversation back to Maria. 

“Got reports yesterday morning of the wreckage but it’s been delegated to the international team,” the Deputy Director used a blunt fingernail to tap on the side of the glass bottle and shrugged. 

“Which you oversee,” Natasha pushed.

“Which I oversee,” Maria confined with a nod, “I have good people working on it. Unless you object, your name will not be mentioned anywhere on the report.”

“I’d like to keep it that way,” the Russian sighed, “I never want to be associated with the Red Room again.”   

At the single mention of the room, Yelena’s widow facade slammed back into place. Her back stiffened, her shoulder straightened, and her eyes glazed over as she placed the beer bottle on the coffee table with the same speed that she had dropped Ellie. Natasha ran her thumb over the white knuckles of the blonde, trying to bring her back slowly. 

“How about we get you to bed, hmm?” she spoke quietly, her voice tinged with worry.

“She’s been sleeping in my room,” Maria matched the woman’s tone, “you’re welcome to the couch if you don’t want to share the bed.”

It would leave her to sleep on the floor which wasn’t as easy on her body as it used to be, but for Natasha, she would sleep on the surface of the sun without complaining.   

“We’re good to share, thank you, Ria,” the Russian stood up and helped Yelena to her feet.

The younger woman moved in a robotic way that made the brunette want to shudder. There were murmurs from the room for a while before Maria could make out the sound of the bedroom door opening and closing followed by the bathroom. 

It was obvious after 20 minutes, who was in the shower. Yelena showered in the same way as Ellie, short, with lukewarm water. This shower belonged to a woman who had learned the therapeutic effects of warm water and muted noise. Maria stretched her limbs out and felt the weight of the blanket on her as she laid on the couch, with her eyes closed she could almost convince herself that it was a normal night from months earlier. Before Yelena, before Ellie, before Phil was dead and May was gone, she would lay in her bed and listen to Natasha shower after missions, the running water soothing both of them. It was another 20 minutes before the shower finally ended and she was sobered back into reality. 

The humidity of the shower wafted into the room as the door opened, “Hey, Ria.”

“Hey, Tasha,” Maria sat up, making room for the woman on the couch.

“Sorry, she- it’s still hard for her to remember she has free will now,” the redhead glanced around nervously. 

“You don’t have to apologize. I get it,” she responded honestly, she had seen it now with three widows all in various degrees of overcoming the rules of The Room. 

Natasha let out a deep breath and laid her head on Maria’s shoulder, “Я скучала по тебе. Ты моя опора.” The words in Russian falling out of her mouth like a prayer that Maria translated as if it was sacred scripture “I missed you. My rock.”

“I missed you too, Tasha,” Maria tilted her own head until it was on top of the Russians. 

“There was a moment when everything came down,” her voice was quiet as she spoke of the mission, “I was free falling, I made sure Yelena would make it to the ground safely and all I could think about was how if I died… you might not know how much I missed you.” 

“You took down one of the most successful Soviet training facilities, alone, and your last thought was still me?” Maria half-joked, offering the redhead an out. 

“Yes.”

Rather than answer, Maria intertwined their fingers together, letting the realization come over her like a wave. 

“Which is why leaving this time is going to be so hard,” Natasha’s voice was barely above a whisper. 

“But,” the Commander took in a deep breath, “but you just got here.” 

“I know,” the redhead gave her hand a squeeze, “But she can’t stay here. She needs what I needed when I first got out, what you’re giving to Ellie.”

As much as she wanted to argue this, to stomp her foot and tell her to stay, she knew that Natasha was right. Yelena needed space with someone she cared about to show her the way the world works outside of The Room. She needed time and love without pressure or containment. 

“When?” was the only question she could get out. 

“As soon as I get in a few hours of sleep, Clint’s going to take us with him.”

The archer had requested to be placed on “intel acquisition” at the crash site, Maria had signed off on it, thinking that he would go and pick Natasha up. She didn't realize he was being placed on the operation to bring the sisters back to Russia.   

“It's better for her to come back into consciousness around things she already knows, in the language she was raised in,” Natasha started. 

“With the person, she was raised with,” Maria interjected.

Rather than answer, the Russian squeezed her hand again. They sat in silence for a while longer, soaking up the remaining time they had left. 

“I’ll be back, as soon as she is settled and everything dies down,” it was a promise that had no timeline.     

Maria stood up and walked into the kitchen, pulling out the last box of mac and cheese that they had. She returned to Natasha standing next to the couch with what looked like tears in her eyes as she saw the blue box.

“Here,” Maria handed it over, “she… she likes this brand.”

Natasha took the box, reached up, and pulled Maria’s face down until their lips molded together. The tears released from her eyes as she closed them tightly, deepening the kiss. 

“Thank you,” she whispered onto Maria’s lips.

Before the Commander could say anything, Natasha had turned and exited the room, the bedroom door clicking quietly into place. And so Maria stood in the darkness of her living room, alone.   
 

“I know you’re sad your friend is gone,” Maria finished buckling the child into her car seat, “but she’ll be back.”

She had heard Natasha coaxing her sister out of the room a few hours after they had parted, it sounded like Yelena was having a hard time and so Maria gave them the privacy and went into Ellie’s room until she heard the front door lock into place. 

Ellie touched her forehead with the tips of her fingers, still frowning. 

“I know because Tasha told me they would be, any other questions, or can we get going?” The woman stood and waited for the child to answer, “okay, well the good news is, you get to see Liam today.”

This was enough to bring a smile out of the girl who wiggled in her seat excitedly. Maria snorted and drove them to the Triskelion, explaining to Ellie that they would need to stop by the medbay for a quick appointment to see if her eyes were cleared up and that her metabolism stabilizers were still working. 

“Why?” the girl spoke up.

“Because if they aren’t, you have to stay out of The Center for longer so you don't get other kids' eyes sick,” she tried to explain. 

She looked into the rearview mirror and saw a faint “oh” on the girl's face, “but they look like they aren’t red anymore so I bet you’ll be good to go.”

Ellie nodded and asked for the music to be turned up, no longer caring about the conversation. The two parked the car and made their way to the medbay where Ellie clung onto Maria even after they had been brought into the exam room.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite teleporting friend,” Dr. Carter walked into the room with a soft smile, “how are you doing today?”

Ellie squinted and stuck her thumb and first finger up, Maria raised her thumb in the correct thumbs-up motion behind the girl. 

“That good huh?” the doctor washed her hands and sat at the end of the examination table, “I have a couple things I need from you, but after that, you can pick out a toy from our toy box. How does that sound?”

The child looked to Maria for guidance, “that sounds like it would be a lot of fun.”

The curly-haired girl breathed in deeply before softly saying “okay.” 

“Okay, the first thing I’m going to do is test your reflexes by tapping my little tool on your body, is that alright?” the physician held up the reflex hammer, Ellie nodded and let Carter work, “those drops seemed to have cleared up her infection, any lasting pinkeye symptoms?”

“No, no she’s been great since then,” Maria watched as the woman continued to work, tapping each of the reflex points on the girl. 

The curly-haired child sat still as the rest of the check-up continued, her vision was checked along with her hearing and blood pressure which she seemed to dislike more than anything else. 

“That one kinda feels like a really tight hug, huh?” the blonde asked the girl who gave the smallest shrug, she glanced at Maria, “do we often only communicate through non-verbal forms?”

“More often than not,” it was dependent on the setting, but even in the most comfortable scenario, the girl preferred not to speak. Maria thought back to the conversation she had with Yelena, how the young woman explained that she had always been that way.  

“And we're okay with that?” Dr. Carter wrote something down on her clipboard. 

“Yes,” the brunette nodded.

“If it works for you, it works for me. I’m not concerned about her hearing or her cognitive ability, but if it becomes something you want to talk about, we have language resources on site,” the woman pulled the cuff off the girl's arm.

“Alright my friend, the last thing I need from you is to hop on down and stand on this scale so I can get your height and weight,” Dr. Carter motioned to the scale in the corner of the room, “we’re eating and drinking throughout the day without problems?”

“She’s eating and drinking regularly but I’ve noticed in the last week or so her shorts have been a little loose,” Maria continued to talk to the physician who was writing on the clipboard. 

“That can be normal, has she been more active? It could also be that she's just petite from- oh honey you didn’t need to strip down.”

Maria whipped her head around to the corner of the room where Ellie stood shaking, eyes trained on the floor. Immediately, she got up and helped dress the girl who didn’t respond to the new set of hands on her. 

“Ellie girl,” she prompted, getting no response, “Ellie?”

The child, now fully clothed, continued to stare at the tile. 

“Does this happen often?” Dr. Carter kept her voice low as she wrote down the weight of the child along with Maria’s response. 

“Only when she thinks she’s back there,” the Deputy Director turned from where she knelt in front of the child to answer. From where she was crouched, she understood the response, the doctor had a white coat, and clipboard, and loomed over the girl, there was no way Ellie thought of anything other than the Red Room “medical” testing. 

She wrapped her arms around Ellie, “it’s just me, sweet girl,” she felt the child relax slightly into the embrace. 

It was another 5 minutes of prompting and coaxing until the child started to come back around, in that time Dr. Carter had given Maria a referral to two different child psychiatrists. It was only after Ellie had clasped her arms around the Commander's neck that she picked her up and kissed her temple. 

“I got you, little bear,” she swayed in place and rubbed the girl's back in large circles. 

“I’ll send her refill to the pharmacy, pick it up whenever you can,” the doctor gave Maria a fond smile, “I’ll email you her write-up and a reminder to schedule another appointment in 6 months.”

“Thank you,” the brunette spoke softly as she continued to run her fingers through the girl's hair. 

“Have a good day Commander,” Carter nodded toward the woman and child before seeing herself out. 

The two stayed in the room for a while longer, Maria slowly coaxing the girl to look at her as she assessed what had happened and how to go forward. 

“Do you want to go home?” it was summer, there weren’t a ton of missions going on, she could swing working from home. 

“No,” Ellie let out a deep breath and played with the collar on Maria’s shirt, “want to see Liam.”

“Okay sweet girl, then let’s go see your buddy,” she shifted the child to her hip and carried her out of the room. 

She hadn’t thought twice about the motion that had become so natural until some of the younger agents in the hallways staired. She barely had to raise an eyebrow before they all quickly looked away and muttered some sort of apology. The older agents fell into two categories: either talking to Maria as if there was not a child held in her arms or giving warm smiles and trying to say hi to Ellie before talking to Maria. 

Barbara Morse fell into the first category, her eyes only glancing at the child once as Maria stopped her. 

“Little birdy tells me you're looking to trade in your death trap,” Maria offered up the only information she had.

“With all due respect, our line of work is a bit like one giant death trap,” the blonde responded, “but yes, I am looking at getting a car.”

Maria grabbed her bag and fished around for her old keys, “Parking spot 4, give it a spin and let me know if you like it. I’m looking to sell.”

Bobbi’s eyes went slightly wide, “really?”

“Really,” Maria handed over the keys. 

“Thanks, Hill,” the agent twirled the keys in her hand briefly before shoving them in the pocket of her uniform.   

“Anything to keep that big brain of yours safe, Dr. Morse!” Maria threw over her shoulder as she continued towards the elevators. 

She could feel Ellie lift her head up to watch the woman they just walked away from, “did her face get red?”

The girl nodded, “yes, and she stares at the ground.”

Maria had learned early on that Ellie watched everything. She knew that it was training from The Room, she knew that the child had come pre-programmed with a specific skill set that in many ways would have made her the perfect spy. However, the brunette would never use those skills in that manner, she would only use them in cases like this where they would both end up laughing.  

“Perfect,” the Commander chuckled with Ellie as they walked away from the agent. 

The two had barely made it into the hallway of The Center before a loud thump caught both of their attention, Liam’s face was pressed into the glass window. Maria didn’t have time to put the girl down properly before she took off into the room, blowing past all of the other children as she rushed to get to her friend. 

“I know that I’m not supposed to have favorites,” Grace openly “awwed” as she saw the two embrace, “but how can you not when these two do things like this?”

Maria smiled and handed the girl's backpack over to the blonde, “she’s pretty dang cute.”

She thought about how cute the girl was and how far she had come for the rest of the day. Time seemed to move so much faster now that she had someone to take home. No longer could she pull 18+ hour shifts or drop everything to go on the carrier. As different as it all was, she was sure it was better for her health. 

One thing that was not better for her health, was her bosses ability to destroy her calm demeanor every time she went to The Center and found her child was no longer there. Which is exactly what she found as she walked into the space on the first week of August. 

“I know but like I was telling you, there are a lot of good public schools around here and I dont have the money this year to send her to private scho- Fucking Fury,” Maria pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed into the phone, “Let me call you back tonight Laur. Yep… okay… Love you back.”

“Sorry, Commander,” the young man behind the counter winced.

“Did he at least sign her out?” She picked up the pen attached to the sign out sheet, knowing the answer already. 

“No, he told Ellie to take the ‘silly little pen’ and then kinda threw his jacket back and they left,” the worker said quickly. 

“Thank you,” she sighed and signed the girl out before heading back upstairs. 

They had gone to the farm for the fourth of July and were currently on their 10th day back at work, of those 10 days, Fury had signed Ellie out early 5 of them. She pulled out her phone on the elevator and clicked on the video Natasha had sent the night before. 

The redhead had sent periodic texts and videos since her return to Russia. She was in rough condition the first video she sent, her hair looked as if it had been pulled, she had a scratch along her jaw, she was skinny. But after a few more videos, she was looking more herself even if her accent was thicker than the Commander had ever heard. 

Tasha: 1 vid. Msg.

“Hey Ria,” Natasha’s face filled the screen, it was daylight in the apartment she and Yelena were living in, “I wanted to give you a little proof of life-”

“BECAUSE SHE WOULD LIKE TO KISS YOUR FACE” Yelena’s voice filtered into the video. 

The redhead started yelling in Russian, too quickly for Maria to translate, not that she needed to. She had heard the same type of yell come out of Natasha’s mouth too many times with Clint, Maria got the gist of what was going on. 

“So rude,” the spy rolled her eyes, “anywayyyy, I wanted to show you proof of life and see how you and the kid are doing. Barton said you guys left a few days ago from the farm and I… I don't know. I guess I just wanted to talk, I miss you.” The last part of the sentence was quieter, but Maria understood the meaning. 

“So yeah, just text me or call or whatever. Okayby- ugh fine,” the redhead handed the phone over to her younger sister. 

“Hello Maria Hill, I hope that you are good. I found out about this delightful item that Natalia says you know about. It is called Sirracha and I believe it is fantastic so if you like it, can you please give other recommendations and also have some for when we are back in America?” The Blonde wiggled her eyebrows, she had also clearly come out of her shell since their departure. 

Maria couldn't help but smile at the young woman on the screen as she talked about some of the things the two of them had done since getting back to Russia. The video came to an end as the elevator dinged, both sisters smiling as Yelena shoved Natasha off of her while she tried to give her a hug. She walked past the other offices on the floor until she got to the last room, preparing herself for what was on the other side.   

“Fury,” she scanned her badge and threw the door open, “my kid, please.”

Ellie sat up from where she had been hanging her head off of the couch in the office. Rather, Ellie was hanging her head off of “her couch” as Fury reminded everyone from senators to top level agents, unless they had permission from the curly-haired child, they were not allowed to sit there. No matter their rank. 

“Hi Bear,” Maria kissed the girl on the top of her head. 

“Hi,” Ellie licked the corner of her mouth. 

“Nick, what have I said about ice cream?” she used her thumb to wipe off the rest of the treat that still lingered on the child's face. 

“I don’t recall,” the man lifted his head from where he was sitting behind his desk, suddenly engrossed with the report on his screen.   

“Oh, you don't recall?” she huffed, knowing they had this conversation less than a week prior.

“Maybe I recall but you’re taking me away from her, Hill!” He snapped with no fire behind it. 

“I’m not taking her away from you,” she tried to console both Fury and Ellie who looked like they were ready to run away together, “she has to go to school. She’s a kid, it’s what they do.”

“Why can’t you just home school her?” The man gave his full attention now as he tried to convince Maria. 

“Because I am not an educator, and you need a Deputy Director,” she shook her head, “now let's get going, you need to leave Fuzzy to look over mission report 39-Charlie.”

“When will they be ready to deploy?” Fury was back in Director mode. 

“End of October at the latest,” she knew her agents would need another 2 months of training before they were sent to work on a possible Hydra cell. One they hadn’t seen the size of in years.

“How many agents?”

“Ours or theirs?”

“Ours.”

“Twenty.”     

“Theirs?”

“Last report said 48.”

“And when does she start school?” Back to Fuzzy mode, Ellie cracked up at the abrupt change.

“September 1st,” Maria internally winced, every time she thought about sending the girl off to school a pang of sadness hit her. 

“Right, we have two weeks to convince Ria then little miss,” he pointedly looked at the child who nodded in agreement. 

“Grab your bag,” Maria shook her head and pointed at the star covered canvas, “say bye to Fuzzy.”

“Bye to Fuzzy,” Ellie cracked up, fist bumping the man who gave her a thumbs up.

“You two are going to make me go grey early,” she sighed and left the office, “how was your day?”

<pretty sad until Fuzzy> the child signed, she had learned new signs during their stay with the Bartons and happily used them. Maria now had to ask her what a number of them meant. 

“Because Liam is on vacation?” the little boy was going to be away from the Center for the remainder of the summer as his family took their summer trip.

<yes> the child walked up to the elevator and pressed the button, please as it illuminated red.

“Well the good news is, by the end of the week we’ll know if you two are going to big school together,” Maria ran her hands down the girls braids.

“If no?” Ellie craned her neck up.

“Then whatever school you go to is going to be lucky to have a great kid like you,” she knew the girl was nervous about making friends and hoped that the school would accept her enrollment so she could start the year with at least one friend. 

The Commander followed the girl as she moved through the massive building with ease, holding back for Maria whenever there was another agent, and sprinting forward in empty hallways. The little girl had mapped the whole building by this point, the Red Room training showing as she dipped into side staircases without looking.   

They had gotten into a routine, the two of them. Maria would wake up and get ready for work, pack their lunches and put two waffles in the toaster. It was just enough time for her to wake the child, who now slept like the dead rather than waking at the smallest noise, and get her changed into her clothes for the day before breakfast. They would drive Maria’s terrible car to work where she would drop Ellie off for the day, go to the gym, and work for the next 8 hours before picking the girl up and going home. It was simple, it was safe, it was comfortable. 

Over the course of four months Maria had learned how the girl gave lopsided grins when she was proud of herself, and how she squinted when she was nervous, that’s why she knew something was up when she looked into the rearview mirror and saw the girl glancing around. It wasn’t until they got home that the little girl finally explained what was on her mind. Asking a question that fully took the woman by surprise.  

“Or no?” Ellie traced the outline of Venus on her shirt as she squinted. 

“I think I didn’t understand the question,” Maria knelt down until she was at eye level with the girl, “ask me again.”

“Coop- he call Lo-Lo Mommy, and Liam call adult Mommy,” the girl let out a deep breath, “but I call you Ria.”

“And you want to know why?” the brunette filled in the question, not wanting to push anything the girl wasn’t ready for. 

“Why call you Ria and not- and not mommy,” the question was just barely above a whisper. 

“Well Ellie, what do you want to call me?” she swallowed. Hard. 

Ellie closed the space between them and leaned her forehead against the woman's shoulder, “can call you mommy?” 

Maria kissed the top of the girl's head as she answered just as quietly, “Little bear, nothing would make me happier than if you called me mommy.”

Chapter Text

“I still don’t like you talking to her outside of drop-offs,” Natasha pointedly looked at her sister's phone as she spoke in her mother tongue. 

“And I don’t like when you snoop over my shoulder,” Yelena muttered under her breath, “and besides Melina’s the only one we know of who can synthesize antidote without raising any alarms.”

“When I’m back at work next week I’ll have one of the scientists take a look,” the redhead had already sent a tentative email to FitzSimmons to see if they could replicate the serum, “then we can cut ties completely.”

“Well, not completely,” the younger woman protested, “the farm is still the best place to send the newly freed girls.”

“Like I said, give me a little more time on that one,” Natasha walked over to the stove in the studio apartment she and Yelena had been living in, and stirred spaghetti sauce that was simmering. 

The two of them had been in Russia for the better part of two months, at first moving from safe house to safe house as they double-checked that The Room was taken down for good. After that, Natasha purchased a studio apartment in Moscow that they had been living in while Yelena adjusted to reality and free will. Fury and Maria had been able to keep her on “personal leave” for as long as possible, but at the end of the week, she would be leaving the apartment (and her sister) to lead a covert operation. 

“Don’t put your feet on the counter,” she scolded, watching her sister hop up on the surface next to her. 

“Ugh, you’re such a mom,” Yelena rolled her eyes as she let her feet dangle.

The redhead hummed in response, used to the retort the younger women would give her, “what do you know about Malta?”

“Ooo Mediterranean, is that where they are sending you?” Yelena wiggled her eyebrows. 

“Maybe,” Natasha stirred the sauce, it was a recipe she had learned from Maria. 

“Three people were mysteriously poisoned in 2004 on the second floor of the Casa Rocca Piccola Hotel in Valletta,” the blonde kicked her feet out and let them fall against the cabinetry below her.

Natasha snorted, “not really the information I was looking for, but thank you.”

“Well, let me think,” the younger woman sat in contemplation.

It was a common occurrence Natasha had learned over the last few months. She would ask her sister about a location, a person, or a time point and while the blonde could pull out some information, oftentimes it was only bits and pieces or relevant based solely on the mission she had been on. Yelena had been under subjugation for so long that her brain was unable to hold on to information outside of what was useful to The Room.   

“They filmed the Gladiator movie there,” the young woman finally said with a nod, “and there is a place where local people jump from cliffs into the ocean below them.”

“Did you get to go?” It was a question based on who she had visited the country with while carrying out the mission.

“No, Katarzyna was my handler that year.”

It was all the explanation Natasha needed. Katarzyna was a year younger than her with blonde hair, a round face, and a mean streak that rivaled some of the madams. She had to suppress a shudder knowing that her little sister had been forced to be around that woman for a full year. 

“Will you get the plates out? This is almost done,” she nodded towards the food on the stove, thanking the blonde as she filled plates for both of them.

“Truly, I am thankful to your girlfriend,” Yelena slurped up a noodle, “you’re a terrible chef and this is totally edible.”

“Not my girlfriend-” the redhead started. 

“Yeah, okay,” Yelena barked out a laugh between bites.

“And second, it’s not like either of us ever learned how to make anything outside of ‘nutrients that are edible’ anyway,” she put the words in air quotes.

It was the truth, she had picked up a few dishes from Laura and May after she defected, but it wasn’t until she started to hang out with Maria more, that she figured out different spices and flavors that worked together. She planned on making a squash soup later that week in honor of the fall season that had crept in during their move. 

“Speak for yourself! I’ll have you know I am a great chef,” Yelena argued.

“You make macaroni and cheese every time I ask you to cook.”

“I see nothing wrong with that and sometimes I add things to it. Gah, so ungrateful Natalia.”

“Sriracha and canned vegetables don’t really count as great additions,” she smiled and continued eating as she poked fun at the young woman across from her.

The two sat in relative silence as they continued to eat, Yelena out of habit, Natasha out of comfort as she listened to the city around them. It was one of the reasons she had chosen this apartment; the subtle vibrations of the metro as it ran by the apartment, the smell of Pirozhki being made by carts on the street below them, all of it to keep the memories of silence and order at bay. 

Living in small amounts of chaos as a form of therapy was something she had figured out with Clint, a memory she kept to herself. Until now. Yelena didn’t have memories in the way that Natasha did, and so while for the majority of her life Natasha was content to keep them to herself, she now openly shared them with her sister who listened to her every word. 

“It’s better, right?” she asked the blonde who was relaxed as she ate, “the background noise?”

“It’s… it gives me something to think about so I don’t-” Yelena visibly tensed.

“So you don’t think about The Room,” her sister finished for her, “Clint picked up on it before I did when I first left.”

She was happy to leave it there, but after seeing how interested in the story Yelena was, she continued. 

“We were on the carrier and I thought I was going crazy,” the spy let out a deep breath, “I was in a room on the far end of the ship, World Council probably thought I was going to go on a killing spree or something. Anyway, it was so quiet and I was constantly looking over my shoulder, thinking someone was going to break in and take me back to Dreykov, until one day I got a notice that I was being moved to a different room.”

The piece of paper had been slid under her door, the first thing she thought was that she was being kicked out, or jailed. She read the notice three additional times before she realized it was simply a room reassignment.

“I got to the new spot, right on the side of the ship next to the motors, and thought ‘oh god how am I going to hear anything with these massive turbines’. But it turned out, it was right next to Clint’s room,” she smiled remembering the first time he showed her how the vents could get them around the ship, “Between him constantly talking, and the turbines I could barely hear anything.”

“How’d you hear if someone was coming?” Yelena was practically on the edge of her seat.

“That’s the thing, I couldn’t. By the time I had figured it out, I noticed that I had been sleeping better and checking over my shoulder less. Being here is kind of like that, constant noise and smells and lights that you get to think about instead of the Red Room.”

“Plus, the old people that die here leave behind wonderful clothing,” the younger of the two showed off the sleeves of her sweater, “thrifted this last week.”

“Was that before, or after you freed that widow and broke into the apartment next door?” Natasha was pretty certain that while her sister did spend a lot of time in thrift stores, this particular item was too nice to be on a rack in a second-hand store. 

“What?” the blonde covered her mouth in fake abhor, “I will have you know that I only broke in to get better access to the widow in the apartment next door. And… the owner had been dead and gone for weeks before I took this.” 

“You’ll get yourself in trouble one of these days,” Natasha rolled her eyes fondly, “the morally grey fashion monger.”

“I expect you do have something written with that title by the end of the night,” Yelena flipped her hair and crossed her legs in her best impression of an editor at a design magazine. 

It was moments like this, everything stripped away, that they were “normal”. Natasha loved to write, her sister loved fashion, from an outside perspective they looked like any other pair of sisters chasing big dreams.  

Later, as they cleaned up the dishes and lay on the couch, the reminder that they were not normal sisters dragged them back to reality as their phones vibrated simultaneously. 

<Msg>
Melina V: Most recent Widow believes 2 under subj. live in Mink. Will send address when available nxt week. Able to go?

Natasha looked at her sister, knowing that she would agree to go. No matter the risk, no matter the distance, Yelena would free any widow she could from chemical subjugation. 

“I’ll be at the mercy of SHIELD until the end of the month,” she announced as she watched the blonde who was already typing. 

Natasha: Working until Dec. 
YB: Send the address and details, I’ll see what I can do.  

“You know you don’t have to go, she has other girls at the farm who can give the antidote just as well as you,” Natasha wasn’t sure if the protective side would ever lessen when it came to feelings about her sister.

“If I can go, I will,” the blonde stiffened, “you don’t understand.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” Natasha herself had never been put under subjugation to that extent. 

“Any extra time those girls spend under is more time it will take to get them out. Plus with the- with everything gone, who knows who’s controlling them,” she typed on her phone again.

Finally, the woman looked up from her device and smirked, “besides, you’re wrong. I’m Yelena Belova, no one can do it as well as I can.”    

“The broccoli needs to be eaten by the end of the week, don’t just throw it away,” Natasha spoke quickly as she wrote on the notepad in front of her, “and the repair guy is going to be here on Tuesday to fix the-”

“Sink,” Yelena rolled her eyes, “and the soup on the stove needs to cool for another hour before I eat it. I got it, systera.”

The redhead looked up from the note in front of her and shrugged, “I know you do, I just-”

“Think I’m going to burn the whole place down by Wednesday,” her sister insisted. 

“Nah, I’d give you until Thursday,” she waved her hand dismissively, “what else am I missing?”

“Your flight if you don’t leave soon,” the blonde muttered.  

“I heard that,” Natasha threw over her shoulder as she walked into the area they kept their bed and dressers, “okay, your vest is washed and hanging up to dry next to my hoodies. If you wear my stuff while I’m gone, don't get stains on them.”

The blonde had slowly been coming into her own style with brighter colors and textured fabrics that Natasha had categorized as “classically fabulous”. The outfits were everything the Red Room was not, Yelena had gone from black uniforms and uncomfortable sultry attire to long beautiful coats and sparkling jewelry. However, she still retreated into her big sister’s soft, warm hoodies or the tightness of her green vest when she had bad days when the horrors of the Red Room overtook her thoughts. Days like this were the main reason for Natasha’s own anxiety increasing as she got ready to leave the apartment.  

“Anything else, anything else,” she absentmindedly drummed her fingers on the duffle bag in front of her, “oh! Halloween is tomorrow, trick or treaters might come knocking but I don’t want you opening the door for anyone.”

Natasha was sure The Room was gone, she was sure that any remaining members had gotten the message about this as well and would not be coming to look for them. Still, she worried about her sister, about her safety both physically and mentally. Yelena averted her eyes as the redhead came back into the room, making herself look like the nervous 20-year-old she was.  

“I stashed an extra bag of candy for you on the top shelf,” she gave the blonde a soft smile and a wink, “okay, anything else?”

“No, now go so I can watch in peace,” Yelena shooed her sister out the door while she selected the show she wanted to watch. Unsurprisingly she was re-watching Sex in the City. 

“Okay, you have Maria’s number if there’s an emergency and I’m not answering, you go to the address on this notepad if you need to run, and we check in every day, yeah?” She kissed the younger woman on top of her head from where she was seated on the couch. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, now go,” the blonde didn’t look away from the screen, “this is my favorite season.” 

“Love you, eat your vegetables, and don't talk to strangers. Okaybye,” Natasha chuckled as she walked to the front door. 

“Okay, I don’t hate you, bye!” Yelena laughed as she turned the volume on the TV up.   

The Russian pulled the door closed behind her and locked it into place, there was something comforting about the latch of the deadbolt on the door that had been there since it was built in the 40s. The apartment wasn't anything special to look at, but it was old which meant that the walls were made of concrete and the locks were made from steel, another one of the reasons that she had picked it out. It wasn’t new and easily broken into, something she had learned after buying her third or fourth safehouse. 

She checked her watch and picked up the speed as she rounded the staircase to the main street. The wind was already bitterly cold as she walked out to the main road, hoping that she could hail a taxi in time to make it to her flight. It wasn’t until she got to her gate at the airport that she pulled out her phone to check for any notifications. Specifically notifications from a certain handler that she could now text without her sister’s peering eyes or jokes.

“The boarding process will begin in 10 minutes,” the man behind the front desk said in a clipped tone over the speaker as she scrolled through her phone. 

<Msg>
Ria: Give me a call if you can, not urgent. If not, stay safe.
Natasha: Missed this earlier, free for 10 if you are?

She (not so patiently) waited as she leaned against the glass of the window that overlooked the tarmac. Another few minutes passed before her phone finally vibrated. 

“Hey,” she smiled as she answered the phone.

“Not until after dinner… no- Hey Tasha!” Maria shifted her attention from whoever was in front of her (most likely Ellie) to Natasha.

“Bad time?” She questioned, hoping she didn’t sound too desperate. Maria was one of the only people she would call on the phone.

“Nope, all yours- er- I mean. No, it’s not a bad time,” the Commander stumbled over her words, Natasha could practically see the blush blooming across her face. 

There was something about the stumble that the Russian found extremely attractive. Natasha had seen Deputy Director Hill laugh in the face of mass murderers three times her size; she had seen the Commander put together a wildly successful mission plan with a cup of coffee, a broken pen, and a single sticky note; she had seen the Ice Queen level world leaders with a single look. But as soon as Ria was talking to Natasha, she would trip over her words as if she was speaking them for the first time. 

“Well good, I have several free minutes before my flight and would like to say hi,” Natasha spoke in English for the first time in weeks.

“Well, hi,” Maria responded, “off to the Mediterranean?” 

“Yep,” she nodded despite the knowledge that Maria wasn’t there to see it.

 “Three-week intel?” leave it to the brunette to know the details.

“Yeah, but it should not be too bad. Maybe I’ll work on my tan,” the redhead glanced down at her pale skin knowing that unless her mark was a beachgoer, she wouldn’t actually get the opportunity to. 

“Natasha Romanoff with a tan?” Maria snorted.

“Hey, you never know,” she smiled despite herself, “did you decide to go to the farm?”

They had texted about it a few days prior, Maria was still on the fence about how Ellie would respond to going up to strangers' doors and asking for candy. Natasha understood, she had similar feelings about leaving Yelena alone for the same reason. 

“Yeah, we're here now. Laura and the kids say hi to Auntie Nat, Clint said to text him if anything changes between now and evac,” the brunette responded. 

Clint was almost always Natasha’s ride home, regardless of where she was located. He was one of the few people she trusted to get her out of bad situations and stitch her up on the plane ride if needed. 

“Yes, I will let him know,” she listened as the gate agent started boarding passengers. 

“Cool cool cool… so- speaking of when the missions complete- I know it will be a few weeks but um,” Maria cleared her throat, Natasha smiled at the awkwardness, “I was wondering, just because it’s close or whatever but if you don't have any other plans Iwouldbehappytotakeyoutodinner… for your birthday I mean.” 

It was true, her birthday was right after the mission was planned on being complete and while she didn’t normally celebrate it, it would be nice-

“Just I know you don’t celebrate so it wouldn’t have to be anything big and maybe you want to see Yelena but if you didn’t,” the Commander's words were rushed as she cut her train of thought.

“As of now, I have no plans,” she got in line and handed the agent her ticket, “and would be happy to have dinner with you.”

“Okay, cool. So I can text you about it then,” Natasha could hear the smile on the other woman's face.

“Thank you,” she smiled to the flight attendant who showed her to her seat, “Yeah, Ria, that sounds good but I have to go.” 

“Yeah, yeah of course,” Maria cleared her throat, “I’ll text you, stay safe okay?”

“I will. Okaybye.” she hung up the phone and carefully fell into the persona that she would need to be in for the next three weeks.   

As she expected, her mark was in fact, not a beachgoer. Instead, he was a gambling addict which meant plenty of leverage for SHIELD and mostly night work for Natasha as she discreetly followed the man for weeks. It was just after the first week that she gained access to his laptop, and just before the third week before she downloaded all of the necessary files while he threw away thousands of dollars in the casino below his hotel room. 

She was in the process of scanning through the information when there was a knock at her door, she wasn’t expecting anyone and slowly released the safety on her handgun as she approached the peephole. 

“Fucking Clint,” she opened the door just wide enough for him to slip into the room before punching him in the arm, “you’re not supposed to be here until the morning.”

“Ow,” he smiled and rubbed the sore spot on his arm, “I may have forgotten exactly how timezones work. Either way, I’m here now! Ooo is this the intel?”

The Russian slammed her laptop closed, “maybe.”

“Come on, let me take a peak,” he wiggled his fingers in front of the computer.   

“No,” she held it further away from him, “you’re not going to find it interesting anyway.”

“You don’t know that, maybe I will,” the blonde pouted. 

“No, now let me finish up and we can get out of here,” she sat down on the bed once more and opened the screen. 

“You’re never this secretive.”

“We’re spies Barton, we’re always this secretive,” she rolled her eyes. 

“Not with each other,” he had a point, “you’re not like this with me unless it has to deal with- oh God, Tasha please don’t tell me you’re sending this information to another widow.”

She waved her hand dismissively and continued to scan through the data. There was a smaller arms dealer that was buying from this man, small enough to where SHIELD probably wouldn’t actually pay any attention to it. In fact, she wouldn’t have paid any attention to it, if it wasn’t for the location of the trade. Minsk.

“No no no,” Clint flopped on the bed, “you always do this, and then I have to hold on to the secret and you know how bad I am at that!” 

It was true the man was terrible at keeping secrets, which given his profession, was alarming.

“Which is exactly why I’m not telling you anything,” she continued to scroll. 

“By not saying anything, you’re telling me what you’re doing,” he flailed his arms dramatically, “why am I always getting into these situations with you? All the other agents just do the job and leave, but no, not Tasha. There’s always an element of danger.”

“You’re so dramatic, it’s nothing important anyway,” the Russian finally found what she was looking for and sent the information to her sister.

She jotted a quick note to urge her sister to take competent backup in case there was a link between the two cases (there was no way there wasn’t), meaning the widows still under subjugation would be heavily armed. At least she had a better picture of who Yelena would be up against when she went to free the women. 

“It’s important enough for SHIELD to want it,” the blonde propped himself up on his elbows.

“SHIELD wants everything, they’re always looking into gaining more information,” she closed the laptop and slid it into her backpack. 

“Says the woman trained by the Soviets,” he walked over and picked up her duffle bag, “maybe we should just do our job and cash the check.” 

“Says the man trained by the circus,” the Russian smiled and followed him out of the room, “besides, people should at least have the option of knowing some of this stuff.”

The blonde huffed and closed the door behind him, knowing that there was truth to what she was saying. They continued down to the lobby of the hotel and out onto the main road where Barton weaved them strategically in and out of traffic until they were safely in the hangar of the Quinjet. There he ran through the pre-flight checklist, as well as a once over to make sure she wasn’t hiding any injuries. 

“Laur wants me to ask you about your date,” he finished the checklist and slid into the co-pilot seat.

“Not a date,” she pulled the headset over her ears and fastened the harness around her body. 

“She says it is,” he flipped various switches and pulled his own headset on, “you gotta give me something to give her so I can say I asked you about it.”

“We’re just,” she started the engine and patched into the local control tower, “getting dinner.”

“Diner, or dinner dinner,” the blonde asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows. 

“God, you’re as bad as Lena,” she ignored him and started speaking to the controller. 

It wasn’t until they were on autopilot that he tried again, this time sounding less like a pestering teenager, and more like a concerned brother.  

“So, this non-date,” he fiddled with the tip of an arrowhead he pulled out of seemingly nowhere, “you nervous?”

“No,” her response was immediate, “well… maybe a little.”

“I would be too, I know she’s like our friend but sometimes when she flips back into Commander mode I get scared,” the blonde shrugged. 

If she was being honest, it was actually extremely attractive to her when Ria switched back into the Deputy Director Hill persona. 

“It’s just everything is different now ya know?” The Russian leaned back in her seat, “She has a kid, and I have Yelena and I mean I haven’t really seen her for the better part of a year now.”

“Yeah, but you thought the same thing right before we had Coop, remember?”

She did remember, in fact, it was one of the only reasons she had agreed to go on the date, dinner. The months before Cooper's birth, she had distanced herself believing that there wouldn’t be room for her now that they were having a kid. The night Laura went into Labor she called Natasha in anger and tears asking where she was. The redhead took the next flight out and made it right before the birth, never again questioning if there would be enough love to go around for her. 

“I remember your wife nearly crushing my hand while you passed out,” she smiled and tried to diffuse the situation. 

“It was so hot in that room, and they said it happens all the time,” he muttered. 

It was quiet for a moment longer before the archer spoke again.  

“I think you just have to stop being afraid of being happy,” he twirled the arrow on the tips of his fingers, “either it will work out, or it won't. That’s life. But either way, you’re going to learn from it.”

“That was- oddly deep for you, Barton. Thank you.”

“What can I say, maybe I’m the next Picasso,” the blonde dropped the arrowhead and picked it up, hitting his head on the control panel in front of him. 

Natasha shook her head and smiled, going over his words for the rest of the flight back to DC.    
 

It had taken the better part of an hour (and two video chats with her sister) before she was finally satisfied with her appearance. They had decided to meet in one of the parks by the restaurant so that Maria could drop Ellie off with a friend's family for a few hours while they had dinner.

Her fingers twitched nervously in her pocket, it had been almost three months since she had left Maria’s apartment, she had thought about her every day. The only thing keeping her in the present was the cold air that swirled around her as she rounded the last building. She could see the park, illuminated in a beautiful assortment of colored lights that hung from most of the trees, and glanced down at her watch, right on time. 

It was as if the world slowed as she got her first real look at Maria with Ellie. The brunette had just crouched down in front of the child, she had a soft smile as she talked to the girl, seemingly reassuring her as she fixed the child's coat and brushed her thumbs across the curly-haired girl’s cheeks. Get it together Natalia, you’ve seen Maria- no, actually you haven't and this is… this is really doing something for you. She blinked a few more times and started walking again after noticing she had stopped dead in her tracks at the sight.

“Hey Tasha,” Maria straightened herself as she stood, bringing Natasha in for a hug. 

She smelled like mint and coffee, she smelled like home. The Russian inhaled as she pulled herself out of the embrace. 

“Hey,” Natasha smiled and glanced down to see the small child who had tucked herself behind Maria’s leg, “Hi, Ellie.”

The girl stiffened and waved, unwilling or more likely, unable to make eye contact. She had grown slightly from when the redhead last saw her. Green eyes quickly glanced up from where they were hidden behind Maria’s waist, her cheeks had filled out too now that Natasha could get a better view. She looked more like a 5-year-old and less like a widow. 

“Look,” Maria placed her hand on the girl's head, guiding it to where a family of three was walking up, “once second, Tasha.”

“Take your time,” she nodded and watched as the girl pointed to the playground and took off with a little boy. 

The brunette talked to two adults, one of which she was pretty certain was a lower-level agent, for a few moments before calling the child back over and giving her a hug. The two signed to one another before Maria kissed the top of the girl's head and waved to the adults. 

“Okay, we're good,” she sighed and smiled as she walked up to Natasha, “dinner?”

“Dinner,” Natasha returned the smile and walked with Maria, letting her take the lead. She was certain she wouldn’t steer her wrong. 

Chapter Text

The toaster popped two perfectly cooked waffles up as Maria finished pouring her second cup of coffee. She pulled the pastries out and added a generous layer of peanut butter between them before placing them on a plate where Ellie always sat. She wanted it to be as normal of a morning as she could. 

“Breakfast,” she called into the still-dark apartment.

The curly-haired child emerged from her room in clothing they had laid out the night before. Her space shirt was neatly tucked into a pair of navy shorts, her pink socks were sticking out from her velcro shoes and while Ellie grimaced slightly, Maria couldn’t help but feel like she was going to cry. In the two seconds of looking at her, she understood why parents often got more emotional on the first day of school than their children. 

“You look so ready, Bear,” she watched as the child climbed onto the chair and picked up the waffle, licking the excess peanut butter before taking a bite. 

Maria pulled her phone out and handed it to the girl as she continued to eat, pressing play on the video that filled the screen.  

“Good luck Lellie!!” Cooper yelled into the screen, “hope you have a good first day of school!”

“Hi!” Lila yelled, clearly unaware of the actual reason for the video. 

Ellie waved back at the screen, eyes glued as Laura and Clint came into frame, “we hope you have such a fun day today and meet new friends.”

“Good luck, rug rat!” Clint smiled. 

It was quiet as the video ended and Maria worked on braiding the girl's hair, “are you nervous?”

<yes> she signed as she finished her breakfast. 

“I bet you’ll feel better as soon as you see Liam” she kissed the top of the child's head.

The two had been placed in the same class after Maria personally met with the principal, explaining the girl’s unique talents and where she had been raised. She then had two additional meetings with Ellie’s teacher, a kind older woman named Mrs. Dorthy, and emailed a list of what to expect in given situations. 

“Алена?” the girl licked the last dollop of peanut butter off the plate. 

“I think it would be safer if you leave it at home,” she finished up the second braid and looked at the girl in front of her who squinted, “how about this, I’ll leave it in your cubby at The Center so it’s there when you get back.”

<okay>
The school she was attending was just over a mile away from the Triskelion and frequented by so many children of agents that one of the bus stops was at the front gates. Ellie would go to school with Liam and be picked up from the gates by a member from The Center where she would spend the rest of the afternoon until Maria was off work. The parents had done a practice run the week before, but still, it put the Commander's stomach in knots as she worried about what could go wrong. A feeling she had only ever had before complex missions. 

It was another 10 minutes before both of them were ready and standing by the front door where Maria couldn’t help but take a picture of the child. She stood with her fingers tightly gripping her space backpack and a lopsided smile, Maria had never been more proud. They headed down to the lobby, passing Sergius who gave Ellie a kind smile and words of encouragement. It wasn’t until they were standing in front of her classroom that the girl finally let on to how nervous she was. 

“Bear, I have to go but I bet Liam will be here in just a minute,” Maria crouched down and pulled Ellie off of her pants leg. 

“Do not go,” the girl's bottom lip wobbled as her eyes filled with tears.   

“You’re going to have so much fun, it’s going to be okay,” she pushed a few stray hairs out of the child’s face. 

“Please do not go,” Ellie begged as the tears finally fell. 

“How about we breathe for a second, hmm?” Maria swiped her thumbs over the fresh track of tears, trying to not cry herself.

<okay> the girl nodded.

“Okay, breathe in nice and slow for 4 counts remember? One…two…three…four… now hold it and let it out nice and slow for one…two…three…four… five,” the brunette walked her through it twice more before she stood up and took her hand. 

“Hello there Elizaveta,” Ellie’s teacher smiled. 

She was an older woman with short grey hair and a kind smile that reached her eyes which sat behind rounded frames. Her long skirt flowed under a well-worn sweater that Maria could tell was soft and inviting for scared children. Including the scared child who was still clutching the Deputy Director’s pant leg. 

“I think we're having a little bit of a hard time saying bye,” Maria said for both herself and the child.  

“Well that is just fine, it’s an exciting day full of big emotions,” the woman nodded and reached out a hand, “do you think you want to come talk to your friend Liam about how you’re feeling?” 

At the mention of the boy's name, Ellie released her grip on Maria’s leg and finally looked up at the woman in front of her. She nodded once and peered around to try and see her friend. 

“How about you tell mommy bye and we go on inside?” Mrs. Dorthy asked as the bell rang. 

The girl froze at the sound and looked to Maria frantically. 

“That’s just the bell to let everyone know it’s time for school,” Maria explained as she knelt down, “so that means it’s time for you to go to school little one.”

“Be Center after?” the girl asked, eyes looking tearful once more. 

“Of course, just like I am every day. You’ll get off the bus with Liam and you’ll see Grace and Carter and I’ll come to get you as soon as it’s pick-up time.”

“Promise?” Ellie stuck out her pinky.

“Promise.” Maria interlinked hers and gave the child one last hug before leading her into the classroom and walking back to her car. 

She blinked away her own tears as she sent the obligatory first day of school picture to Laura, and in a moment of maternal instinct, also set the photo as her background on her phone. Throughout the day, she would look at the photo of the nervous child and find comfort. 

“Deputy Director?” a senior agent called for her attention in a meeting. 

“I would like to proceed with option four, I believe that it will yield the best results with the lowest threat option even if the time of day is suboptimal,” she locked her phone and continued on with the work as usual. 

The rest of the day whizzed by as she oversaw a mission, planned a new deployment strategy, and read over mission reports. She had just finished another as her alarm went off indicating that it was time for her to go and pick up the 5-year-old that she had worried about between every meeting. 

“Hey there Commander,” Grace smiled from behind the counter.

“Hi,” Maria craned her neck around to see the little girl who was still sitting and coloring with Liam, “Is she okay?”

“Other than coming in with only one braid and a new scrape on her knee from playing too hard, yep,” the blonde laughed, “I’ll go grab her.”

It only took the sound of Grace turning the corner for Ellie to whip her head up and smile, tapping Liam's arm to get him to stop talking and focus on Maria. The little boy waved and smiled. 

“Hi Miss Maria!” he called out. 

“Hi bud,” Maria waved back before she was almost taken out by the small Russian who hugged her legs tightly.

“Hi, mommy,” Ellie panted out. 

“Hey kid, you have a good day at school?” she waited nervously.

“Yes,” the girl muttered into the fabric of Maria’s pant leg.

The Deputy Director smiled and ran her hands over the single braid that Grace had done, happy that her kid was slowly but surely transitioning into the life she deserved. 

Time moved quickly after Ellie was in school. She had picture day (which she insisted on bringing Fury a copy of), battle of the books (where Ellie read the second most books in her grade), and her first birthday party invitation (that they politely declined after Ellie threw up from nerves). It was Halloween by the time Maria felt like she had finally caught her breath from the whirlwind that became her life. 

The metal of the hangers slid from one side to the other of the clothing rack as she searched for a youth extra small. Ellie was the smallest in her class, something that was even more evident as she searched for the outfit that they apparently did not make in her size. 

“You’re set on an astronaut?” Maria looked at the girl who sat contently in the cart, watching all the other shoppers. 

<Yes> she signed. 

“Alright,” the Commander pushed the cart towards the section of younger children's clothing. 

<Babies> Ellie frowned. 

“Well, honey, you’re small,” she exhausted all of the girl’s costume options and flipped to the boy’s side, “and you want it to fit properly.”

The brunette had a feeling the costume wouldn’t be coming off any time soon, even if it was just for two events. The first event was the classroom Halloween party at the end of the week, the second was Halloween itself which Maria was still unsure of how well the girl would actually respond to. 

All sense of embarrassment left as soon as she held the fabric spacesuit up to the girl who reached for it immediately. The girl looked at the white material and traced over all the patches until her hands found the American flag on the left arm. She looked up at Maria and cocked her head to the side, squinting. 

“Bear, I don't think they make cosmonaut suits,” the Deputy Director shook her head, “or at least they don’t make them here. You happy enough?”

“Yes,” the child nodded and continued to look at the suit as they made their way to the registers.

Maria pushed the cart to the check-out section and thought about how so much of her life had changed in a matter of months. She couldn’t remember the last time she bought a Halloween costume, in fact, she thought that this may have been the first time. Her grandmother had always made her costumes before she passed, she didn’t celebrate after. It had become a dreaded day of trying to keep her father from flying off in a drunken stooper on children who would come to the front door of their dark home. 

She watched with a fond smile as the girl in the cart carefully examined the costume, realizing that she too had probably never purchased one before. It was the thought that kept creeping back into Maria’s mind as she drove them home and made dinner, aware of the fact that the two of them were experiencing so many things for the first time, together. 

“Mommy,” Ellie brought Maria back into the present as she sat, squinting in the tub, “eyes.”

“Oops, sorry,” the Commander wiped the accidental soap out of the girl's eyes and resumed rinsing the conditioner out of her hair.  

The child continued playing with the toys she had brought into the room for bathtime which included a plastic figure of Steve and one of her (many) astronaut toys. Unsurprisingly, the action figure of Captain America was losing (again) which made Maria chuckle because she knew it would have destroyed Coulson. She stopped smiling when she saw that America’s golden boy had green marker covering most of his face. 

“Elizaveta,” Maria was stern as she gently took the figurine out of the girl's hands, “what’s rule number five?”

“Treat people and thing with respect,” the child looked at her fingers and then at the blonde toy.

“Right, so what happened here?” she held the toy up to the girl who quickly glanced to the side of the tub. 

While rare, it wasn’t the first time Ellie had gotten in trouble. Maria had learned early on that the child was petrified of consequences, including now where her hands started to shake. 

“Bad so didn’t… is… do not want to get in trouble,” her eyes filled with tears. 

“Come here,” the Commander held a towel out for the girl who hesitantly got out of the tub, pulling away as soon as she was wrapped in the soft material, “why did you do this?”

“Because he is bad guy,” the curly-haired child stared at the floor.

“Captain America is a bad guy?” Maria choked back a laugh, remembering who the little girl was raised by. 

“Yes,” Ellie nodded and stared at the floor, “Soldat says was made so he could get rid of him.” 

The Deputy Director was sure many soldiers who worked in the Red Room had told Ellie this for her to have said it with such ease. She watched as the child kept her eyes trained on the ground. 

“Go ahead and get dressed and we're going to talk about it,” about what she wasn’t exactly sure yet, “and then you’re going to have to sit on the time-out stool for 5 minutes. That’s the only punishment.”

The last point was something she had read in a parenting book, explain the punishment first or the child will sit and wonder in fear. Ellie nodded and started to dress while Maria walked into the living room and got out the old wooden stool that she kept to reach the top of her closet. She placed it in the corner of the room and waited for Ellie to reappear. 

“Come on over and take a seat,” she motioned to the item that was placed next to a wall at the entrance of the apartment, “even if someone is playing the bad guy, you still don’t get to draw on them or treat them with anything other than respect. Okay?”

<okay> the girl signed, sitting her little body down on the stool. 

“Why are you in trouble right now?” she asked, making sure the girl understood. 

“Because did not treat the American man with respect,” brown curls hung around her face. 

Once again, Maria had to stifle a laugh and the urge to change Steve’s contact name in her phone to “American Man”.

“That’s right, okay I’m going to set the timer for 5 minutes, and then it’s all done,” the Commander got up and set the timer on the stove. 

She then went and drained the tub and took nail polish remover to the Star-spangled man and cleaned off the marker but not before she took a picture and sent it to Steve. 

Maria: 1 img. 
Maria: Looks like the smallest member of the Communist party is not a fan. 
Steve R: Get that girl a hot dog and a sparkler, only antidote.

Ellie continued to sit on the stool, letting her wet hair drop on the floor around her, until the timer went off. Maria put her tablet down to give the little girl in front of her, her full attention, knowing that the mission report she was reading wasn’t going anywhere. The child squinted and stood just out of arms reach as she waited for whatever Maria had to say. 

“Will not color on toys again.”

“I know you won't, you’re a good girl,” the Commander opened her arms as an invitation that was gladly met by the child who climbed up and shared the chair space. 

<mad> Ellie signed closely to herself.

“Are you asking if I’m mad?”

<yes>

“No, little one I’m not mad. I was a little upset that you ruined something Phil had given you, but it’s fixed now,” she kissed the top of the girl's head.

<Sad> she signed.

“Am I sad?” Maria once again clarified.

<No> the child's fingers came together. 

“You’re sad about Phil?” He was the first adult the girl had trusted, something that would never go away. 

Ellie nodded, glancing up towards Maria who had her wrapped in her arms.

“It’s okay to be sad, I’ll tell you a secret,” she let out a deep breath, “I miss my Abuela almost every day. She would have loved you so much.”

“She is nice?” the misuse of the present tense stung slightly. 

“The nicest,” Maria swallowed, “she made all of my Halloween costumes for me every year, and the day after we would celebrate el Día de Los Muertos.”

Ellie squinted and cocked her head to the side. 

“It’s a day where all of the people we love get to come back to this world, just for one night,” she hadn’t celebrated in years publicly but privately she would leave offerings to her grandmother, “we leave out all of the things that they liked so that they can have them again. It’s like a celebration just for them.”

“Can I leave candy and America Man?” big green eyes locked on to Maria.

All she could do was nod and kiss the girl on top of the head, knowing that if she tried to speak, nothing but tears would come. They sat there until Maria finally regained control of her emotions and pulled her tablet back out, making plans for how they would celebrate the day after returning from the farm. It had been a long long time since she had celebrated, and even longer since she had someone to celebrate with. 

That night, Ellie requested to sleep in her costume to be extra ready for the Halloween party at school the next day and while Maria couldn’t think of an outfit less comfortable to wear to bed, the kid was adorable in it. They compromised on letting her sleep in the jumpsuit but not the helmet, the girl blissfully unaware of the fact that the school party was taking place days before the actual event. 

The next day the Deputy Director dropped Ellie off and took a picture of her and Liam for the boy's parents. They didn’t have the flexibility that she did which meant he rode the bus both ways and wouldn’t be able to properly explain just how cute the pair looked. Maria snapped a picture of the astronaut and the vampire and sent it over to his parents. She once again changed the lock screen on her phone. 

The rest of the week had come and gone, and before she knew it, they were at the store with the oldest and youngest member of the Barton family. Lila sat in the shopping cart with Ellie, only unlike the little brunette, the Barton girl constantly tried to escape. Clint chatted away as he pushed the girl repeatedly back into the basket, a task that grew more difficult as they turned down the candy aisle. 

“Did she say one bag, or two?” he paused in front of the large display, asking Maria who held two fingers up to the man. 

“Chocolate or candy?” Clink questioned as he wrangled his daughter. 

“Mix it up,” the brunette grabbed one bag of sugary candy, and one bag of chocolate. She handed them both to Ellie who held them away from the other little girl with grabby hands. 

“This is why they put you in charge of us,” the man concluded. 

Maria snorted and continued to joke, “oh yeah. Coulson and I took a whole class on rapid decision making, candy included.”

Talking about the man was getting easier, she no longer felt the sharp pain in her chest at the mere mention of his name. It was now more of a dull ache that subsided with smiles and fond memories. 

“I knew it,” the archer smiled and continued pushing the cart. 

They picked up a few more items that Laura had requested, and some she had not as the two selected alcohol and added it to the basket. They were on their way back to the front of the store when a noise from the cart stopped everyone. 

“Wait!” Ellie spoke as loudly as she could from her spot. 

For Maria, it wasn’t uncommon to hear the girl’s voice, but for the blonde next to her, it was. He immediately stopped, his eyebrows coming together in worry. 

<Out, please> she signed to him and waited to be let out of the cart. 

From there she snaked her way through the rest of the shoppers until she was standing in front of a display of costumes. There, in miniature sizes were all 6 of the Avengers including one that the child already had her hands on. It took only a second for Maria to understand what Ellie did not. The girl did not know that it was a costume, all she saw was a widow's uniform that she had seen growing up, never old enough to have one herself. 

Where Maria was nervous, Clint was not as he laughed loudly and joined the girl at the display. 

“Ya know, I don’t think we see a dime of this money,” he held up the red, white, and blue material in front of him, “you want the Tasha one?”

Ellie looked at the outfit for a moment longer before giving the smallest nod. Clint then spent another 5 minutes rifling through the rest of the outfits, settling on a tiny Hulk costume for Lila and a Hawkeye costume for Cooper. 

“I thought he was a Rogers fan,” Maria questioned as she lifted the girl and placed her in the basket once more. 

“Yeah well… we can tell him they were all out of his size,” he muttered under his breath, “Plus imagine a little me and Tasha running around.”

Maria had to admit, it would be cute and after watching Ellie hold the widow costume close to her chest, she nodded and they finally went to check out. 

Halloween itself had gone as Maria had predicted, Ellie stayed back at most of the houses refusing to get close enough to actually obtain any candy. Luckily the eldest Barton child (in his Hawkeye costume) was able to explain to most of the adults that the girl was shy and took extra candy for her. They had made it to their 10th house before things went awry. 

The house they walked up to was covered in fake cobwebs and spiders which Ellie wanted a closer look at. What she had not noticed was the adult at the front door in a ghoulish mask who jokingly shouted “boo!”. It was enough for the miniature black widow to panic and teleport out of the location immediately.

“Shit,” Maria pulled her phone out just as it started to ring.

“Safe,” Laura spoke quickly. 

The woman had stayed home, mostly to hand out candy, partially in case the child had teleported at some point. It was one of two spots the girl knew to get to if she was in danger, the farm, and the apartment. Maria sighed in relief finding out she had gone to the former as instructed. 

“Thanks, one of the houses scared her. I’ll come on back now,” she sighed <ok> to the archer in front of her. 

“Take your time, we're going to make some hot chocolate,” Laura’s voice was as calm as ever. 

As it turned out, Ellie loved Halloween, or rather Ellie loved Halloween from the safety of the farm. As soon as she heard more kids, she would get up from her spot between Laura and Maria and race to the front door to hand out treats. Over and over again she would hold the bowl of candy up to children and adults, making sure everyone had a piece before waving goodbye and settling back down on the couch. 

“I mean she has Yelena now, she’s busy,” Maria took a drink from the bottle in her hands before looking at the front door where Ellie was waving bye to another group. 

“And you have Ellie, it sounds like an excuse,” Laura raised an eyebrow. 

“Ellie?” Ellie herself questioned as she walked back up to the couch. 

“I’m trying to convince your mommy that you should come live here forever,” Laura wrapped her arms around the child who smiled. 

“No, because I have to go school,” she giggled and Maria’s heart soared. 

“Okay okay that sounds like a good reason to go back to DC,” the ex-agent released her grip to allow the girl to continue watching the space show on the TV, “You’re making excuses Ria.”

“It hasn’t worked in the past,” she shrugged. 

“You two haven’t actually given it a chance. When was the last time you two actually went on a date?” Laura spoke nothing but the truth. 

“Two thousand… ten? No that can be right,” the brunette furrowed her brows, had it really been that long?

“Sounds right to me, I say you give her a call and see when she’s in town next. Take her out somewhere nice, not the diner for once,” Laura rolled her eyes. 

“She loves the diner,” Maria had been to the diner by her house countless times, it was the best 24-hour option, “plus who’s to say she would even want to go?”

“El,” the blonde got the child’s attention, “more trick or treat- oh actually that’s the kids.”

If on cue, Lila screeched from where she was sprinting with her brother back up to the house. Still, Ellie got up and opened up the front door for her friends. 

“I’m just saying give her a call tomorrow before she’s on her mission and make a plan, maybe for her birthday?” how the woman knew that Natasha was going on a mission was beyond her. 

“You’re a threat to national security,” Maria shook her head and took another swig. 

Which is how the Commander found herself selecting the contact for Natasha on her phone the next day. She nervously picked at her cuticles and listened to the line trill as Cooper and Ellie ripped into the kitchen and towards the candy bowl that sat like a prize for the taking. Both children were still in their costumes from the night before, something that made the security of the candy bowl even more at risk somehow.  
 
“Hey,” Natasha’s voice flooded the phone in a comforting way despite the bustle of noise behind her.

“Not until after dinner… no- Hey Tasha!” she picked the bowl up and placed it on top of the fridge, out of the reach of mini Black Widow and Hawkeye.

“Bad time?” the Russian asked with fluid ease.

“Nope, all yours- er- I mean. No, it’s not a bad time,” Maria backtracked as she tried to force the blush across her face away. 

“Well good, I have several free minutes before my flight and would like to say hi,” Natasha's accent and the rigidity of her words spoke to just how long the woman had been away from the States.

Hearing the woman speak calmed the brunette instantly, the cadence, the accent, the words themselves. All of it was enough for her to feel at ease even as her mind raced with the nerves of the question that she was dying to ask. 

“Well, hi,” Maria suppressed a smile, “off to the Mediterranean?” 

“Yep,” the redhead had never been the best at phone conversations.

 “Three-week intel?” the Commander tried to prompt her, pulling out the information she knew from… a few too many times she read over the details of the mission that was very much not her own.

“Yeah, but it should not be too bad. Maybe I’ll work on my tan,” Natasha responded. 

“Natasha Romanoff with a tan?” she snorted, it was a ridiculous picture to paint.  

“Hey, you never know,” Maria could hear the smile in the woman’s voice as she answered, “did you decide to go to the farm?”

It had been a long trip after work two days prior, and she didn’t realize that she had forgotten to let Natasha know that they had arrived safely. The two of them had texted about the anxiety surrounding the holiday not only for Ellie but Yelena as well. 

“Yeah, we're here now. Laura and the kids say hi to Auntie Nat, Clint said to text him if anything changes between now and evac,” she responded, knowing that she would need to ask Natasha about dinner soon or else Laura would do it for her. She was positive the ex-spy was listening from the living room, regardless of how engaged she looked while playing with the kids. 

“Yes, I will let him know,” Natasha answered over the background noise that sounded distinctly of airport passengers. 

“Cool cool cool… so- speaking of when the missions complete- I know it will be a few weeks but um,” Maria cleared her throat, trying to tame her racing heart, “I was wondering, just because it’s close or whatever but if you don't have any other plans Iwouldbehappytotakeyoutodinner… for your birthday I mean.” 

There was a pause too long and she visibly winced, maybe it was too soon, maybe Natasha just wanted to be friends. Her face was warm as she tried to backtrack once more. 

“Just- I know you don’t celebrate so it wouldn’t have to be anything big and maybe you want to see Yelena but if you didn’t,” she spit all the words out until the Russian stopped her.

“As of now, I have no plans,” the redhead answered, “and would be happy to have dinner with you.”

“Okay, cool. So I can text you about it then,” Maria smiled, relief.

“Thank you,” Natasha spoke to someone in her beautifully wonderful mother tongue, “Yeah, Ria, that sounds good but I have to go.” 

“Yeah, yeah of course,” Maria cleared her throat, “I’ll text you, stay safe okay?”

“I will. Okaybye.” The agent hung up first, her accent was as thick as Maria had ever heard it as she spoke in a phrase that was so distinctly Natasha. 

“There, I did it, you happy?” although she spoke quietly, she was positive the woman in the room next to her would hear her. 

“Ecstatic, she said yes of course?” Laura called back.

“You know it’s no fun when you’re always right,” Maria rolled her eyes. 

“You’ll be thanking me that night, you both need to get laid,” Laura rattled off in Spanish with ease. 

“Who is laying down?” Ellie questioned in perfect Spanish. 

“LAURA BARTON!” The Deputy Director spun around from where she was standing in the kitchen to face the woman. 

“Whoops, since when do you speak Spanish?” 

Ellie shrugged. 

“You speak Spanish?” Cooper tilted his head before chasing the girl again as they played. It was becoming more and more obvious that Ellie needed an outlet like this to keep her energy at bay. 

“I’m going to go make lunch,” the mom of two excused herself. 

“You’re just trying to get out of trouble.”

“Ooo trouble, I love trouble,” Clint came down the stairs, Lila in tow, “whatcha talking about?”

“Taking Natasha out for dinner. I don't think she’s had much time to breathe since Yelena, I’m going to take her out before she's back in sister-” she started to explain.

“What sisters?” Clint cut her off. 

Maria was positive that the two of them only knew one pair of sisters and eyed the man, checking for any signs of mental deterioration, “Natasha and Yelena…?” 

“Oh, you mean the spider sisters?” The man beamed triumphantly. 

“How long you been working on that one?” 

“About a week, it’s good, right? Laura said I’d never be able to use it organically but look now- Laur! Hey Laura! I got to use spider sisters totally organically!” 

Maria snort laughed, nothing about that had been organic but from the wild look in Ellie’s eyes, nothing she had ingested in the last 24 hours had been either. She truly wouldn’t change it for the world, or rather, the only change she would make would be to add one more person to the chaotic scene. 

Which is why two days before Natasha’s birthday, she found herself dropping Ellie off with Liam’s family for a few hours while she and the birthday girl would have a nice dinner. She had followed the mission the Russian had been on for the last few weeks, and after seeing that it had been a success with no real problems, she made a reservation at a steakhouse for two.

“Mrs. Ruiz has my number, so if you need anything at all you call me, okay?” Maria smoothed some of the curls that lay against Ellie’s cheeks. 

“Okay, mommy,” the girl nodded, still clearly nervous. 

“We’re just going to be a few blocks away for a couple of hours,” she straightened out the girl's jacket and glanced up to see Natasha walking towards them. 

“Hey Tasha,” she hadn’t seen the woman in months and wasn’t able to resist wrapping her arms around the redhead. 

She smelled like orange blossom and vanilla, she smelled like home. Maria could feel Ellie push into her leg as Natasha pulled away from the embrace. 

“Hey,” Natasha smiled and glanced down, bringing her attention to the child tucked behind Maria, “Hi, Ellie.”

Ellie stiffened and waved, keeping her gaze set on the stone below her feet. Maria knew the position of nervousness well by this point and waited to see if the child would look up. Finally she glanced up, her cheeks flushing as she made eye contact with the woman in front of her. There was a moment of pride from how far the girl had come, she was no longer the terrified widow who barricaded herself into hospital rooms. She was much more like any typical 5 year old who was just a little shy as she waited for her friend. 

“Look,” Maria placed her hand on the girl's head, guiding it to where a family of three was walking up, “once second, Tasha.”

“Take your time,” Natasha nodded as Ellie ran over to greet her friend. 

“Hey Hill,” Liam's mom smiled as she watched the kids hug and climb onto the swings near by. 

“Hey Ruiz, thanks again for this,” she waved her hand in the general direction of the two children, “You let me know when I can repay the favor.”

“We’re just happy Liam has a friend, especially one as sweet as Ellie,” Dominic laughed.

“Well either way, thank you,” she smiled back at the two, “we should be done before 8 but if there’s anything wrong at all, give me a call, we're only a few blocks away.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing we can’t handle.”

Maria had explained Ellie’s “special skills” the first time they had gone to the park together, knowing that the girl was in the hands of a nurse and agent, she felt at ease. 

“Ellie come say bye,” she called over to the child who hopped down from her swing and ran over, “now you be good for the Ruiz’s okay? You listen to everything they say and if you need to call me, you can. Okay?”

“Okayyyyyyy,” the green-eyed girl squirmed. 

“You be good,” Maria kissed the top of the child’s head before releasing her, < I love you>

<I love you> Ellie signed back and took off towards the slide.

 “Thanks again,” Maria waved to the adults.

“No problem, really, you two have fun.”

“Okay, we're good,” she sighed and smiled as she walked up to Natasha, “dinner?”

“Dinner,” Natasha smiled back. Maria didn’t miss the fact that the Russian let her lead them out of the park and towards the restaurant. 

They had made it about a half a block before Maria pulled her hand out of her coat pocket and linked her pinky finger with Natasha’s, hoping that she wasn’t overstepping. The spy linked hers back, looked up and smiled.

“You’re such a softie,” the green-eyed woman smiled. 

“We can’t all be Miss intense Black Widow” she rolled her eyes.  

“Your nickname is literally Hard-ass Hill,” Natasha laughed. 

“People really call me that?” she looked down at the woman next to her in shock.

“Oh yeah, you scare the shit out of the agents,” the Russian continued to walk down the street as she nodded.  

“That’s a terrible nickname,” Maria shook her head in disbelief. 

“It is,” Natasha pulled herself closer to the brunette until her head was leaning on the taller woman's shoulder, “I much prefer Masha.” 

Chapter Text

Maria had gone with Ellie the week before to talk to the restaurant, it wasn’t uncommon for any of the Avengers to get noticed in public but it seemed Natasha picked up more attention than her male counterparts. She had talked to the manager to ensure a table in the back where they wouldn’t be bothered. Neither of them felt the need to bring more attention to the woman who was a spy for a living and were thankful when the table was out of sight of other patrons. 

“This is nice,” the redhead took a seat at the table first, looking out of the window that sat next to her, “no diner?”

“Laura said I couldn’t take you there for your birthday,” Maria joked, taking the seat across from the Russian. 

“Good evening, can I take your drink order,” a young waiter watched the two of them with excitement, clearly recognizing Natasha. 

“Bourbon, please,” the Deputy Director cleared her throat. 

“And for you?” he stood up straight. 

“A glass of cabernet,” she eyed the menu in front of her for a moment before handing it to the young man who nodded. 

“A great choice,” he concluded before scurrying off. 

“He doesn’t even know what you’re having,” Maria squinted, “how does he know it’s a great choice?”

“He doesn't,” Natasha laughed, “he’s just some kid who gets to tell his friends that the Black Widow smiled at him.”  

“Does it bother you?” She questioned.

“It used to,” Natasha waited until the waiter put her over-full glass in front of her before speaking again, “I had been under the radar my entire life, and then all of a sudden I’m on T-shirts and little kids are dressing up as me for Halloween and… I don’t know, I think it’s hard to see people idolize you without knowing who you really are.” 

“Who are you then? Really?” Maria took a drink and smiled, knowing that she was one of the only people lucky enough to know the real Natalia Romanov. 

“I’m just a girl, sitting in front of another girl, asking her to share a bread basket,” the redhead batted her eyelashes. 

“I truly believe you can’t go more than 10 minutes without referencing a pre-2000s movie,” she leaned back and took a sip of her drink. 

“How do you think I perfected my accent?” 

Maria immediately thought of Ellie, the girl’s accent hadn’t decreased over time even as her English improved. 

“And so you chose sappy movies?” She smiled. 

“And Bond movies, of course.” Natasha drank from her glass, “Besides, it’s better than Lena, kid’s watched so many Gangster movies from the 50s I’m surprised he doesn’t sound like an old mobster.” 

“How is she?” Maria was genuinely curious, it seemed like they were off to a rough start when the sisters first left her apartment. 

“She’s… she’s doing a lot better,” the spy glanced down and smiled, “it’s been hard, coming down from so many years of subjugation but she seems like she’s been better recently. I think helping free other widows helps, gives her a sense of purpose.”

“Is she still getting the antidote from Melina?”

“Yeah, but I’m having Fitzsimmons look at it so she doesn’t have to go to the farm anymore,” she took a deep drink, “I hate that woman.”

It was a strained relationship, to say the least, but Maria got it. She hated her father for the pain he caused, but at the end of the day he was still her father, and he had his own reasons for acting how he had. 

“I know, I’m sorry you still have to deal with her,” Maria reached out and held the redhead's hand, hoping to offer support. 

“Thanks, Ria,” she intertwined her fingers and visibly relaxed, “it’s just been a lot of change in a very short amount of time.”

“Tell me about it, I now have a kid- a kid who dressed up as you for Halloween.”

“Shut up, no she didn’t,” Natasha laughed a deep belly laugh. 

“Oh yeah, I mean I don’t think that she really got that it was you and not just a Widow but-” the brunette pulled her phone out and showed the woman, “her and Cooper made a pretty cute duo.”

The Russian took the phone and smiled, “I’m just glad they didn’t have to go through it all.”

“Me too, but I will say, if anyone was going to make it out of the Red Room and Circus and somehow find their way to each other, it would have been them.”

“Really?” she handed the phone back and gave a soft smile.

“Mhmm,” Maria took another sip of her drink, “those two are glued at the hip.”

“Yelena said Ellie was ruthless in The Room, but Coop? He wouldn’t last 2 hours in the circus,” the redhead joked and then paused as the waiter returned for their order. 

Natasha went to pull her fingers back from where they were laced between Maria’s. Maria held on tighter in a move of courage. She may have been the Deputy Director, but it was moves like this that made her feel the most courageous, especially as she felt the Russian relax once more.  

“Why hasn’t this ever worked?” Maria looked down at their fingers after the waiter left. 

“Because you’re a workaholic,” Natasha raised an eyebrow.

“Ah, right,” the Commander took a sip of her bourbon and nodded, “and you’re a flight risk.”

“I’ve gotten better,” she shrugged. 

“So have I,” Maria paused and took in the sight in front of her.

The Black Widow, a sex symbol who shared the hourglass shape painted on the arachnids torso. Her tapered waist and wonderfully sculpted arms still viable through the loosely fitted white blouse she wore were what everyone assumed would draw people in, close enough to kill. Maria was sure Natasha’s figure was what most people saw, or perhaps her flaming hair, reminiscent of fire yet perfectly tamed. But not to her. No, for the Commander it was the intensity of Natasha’s eyes, green and inviting, that would have been her downfall if she had encountered her in the wild.  

“You’re staring,” the Russian gave a small smile and batted her eyelashes. Yeah, Maria thought, that’s what would have killed you. 

“I- sorry,” she could feel her cheeks blush as she racked her brain for something suave to say, “You’re just admiring the view. I mean- No, I meant I’m admiring- no wait… you're the beautiful.”

Natasha laughed, “how is it that you are the smoothest person I have ever met at work, and then I get you alone and you’re a pile of mush as soon as you open your mouth?”

“Only with you,” Maria took another drink. Only ever with you. “Besides, work is work. Everything is planned out and executed with at least 3 backup plans. And before it was well… it was really just sex so I didn’t have to think. It feels different this time.”  

“I like it,” Natasha drank from her glass.

The two continued to talk about life as they ate their dinner. Maria had learned that Yelena was currently in Prague freeing widows but that she was looking to take classes on fashion design and management. Natasha was back full-time at SHIELD and trying to figure out how to juggle her younger sister and work effectively while keeping the former a secret from the latter. She and Steve just bought a new couch after 2 months of the blonde complaining about how their current one had gone “out of style”. By all accounts, the date was a raging success.

“I told her I would pick her up before 9,” Maria glanced down at her watch, knowing she had just enough time to get there.  

“Don’t let me keep you then,” Natasha inclined her head.

“I was actually wondering if you’d want to walk back to our place? Ellie may have made you something for your birthday,” her heartbeat quickened as she tried to pretend like it was no big deal. 

Ellie had made a small ceramic box for Natasha in her art class at school after Maria told her that she was going to take the woman out for her birthday. What the child didn’t know was that the Commander had added new cartilage cuffs to the box after she picked them up at a jewelry stand in the park a few weeks prior.  

“Trying to get me home by using your kid as leverage?” the Russian quirked an eyebrow.

“Never,” Maria chuckled, “but if I was, did it work?”

“Maybe,” Natasha smirked. 

The Commander picked the bill up and handed it back to the waiter with her card.  

“You should have let me get that.”

“We’re out for your birthday, Tasha,” the brunette shook her head, “besides, we never do this. I’m not like Stark.”

“Thank God for that. Have you heard from him recently?” Natasha finished the rest of her drink. 

“No, but we’ve been keeping tabs since he told the world where he lives. SHIELD is all over that Mandarin guy. There’s something about him that isn’t sitting right with me..” Maria took the check back and signed it. 

“Clint and I going to get sent in?”

“No, it’s the strangest thing,” she stood up and started to exit the restaurant, “we got orders from higher up not to engage.”

“Higher up?” Natasha walked through the door Maria held open for her, “You’re the Deputy Director, who’s higher? Nick?”  

“No, actually,” she dropped her voice, “the Vice President was the one who told us to stand down. As I said, something about this isn’t sitting right with me.”

The winter air nipped at the back of Maria’s head as she fastened the buttons of her coat and tucked her scarf into the collar. It was only a few blocks to the late-night bakery where they were meeting the Ruiz’s, but still, Maria offered her arm out.  

“Ever the gentleman,” Natasha smiled as she looped her arm into the one Maria held out. 

The brunette hummed in agreement as she tried her best not to mess up the remainder of the night. They were waiting at the final crosswalk when Maria felt lips softly press to her cheek.

“You’re cute when you overthink,” the Russian pulled them into the walkway of a business that had closed for the night. 

“I just don’t want to mess this up,” she looked down at the woman in front of her.

“I know,” Natasha smiled as she looked up.

Maria bit her own lip as she looked at the perfectly shaped smile in front of her, she met the gaze of green, and in a moment of bravery ducked her head down, “Happy Birthday, Tasha.”

It started off quick, innocent, leaving room for the redhead to pull back, to pull away. But as the Commander slid her fingers around Natasha’s jaw, she felt the Russian deepen the kiss, pulling her in until it was hard to tell where Maria’s lips ended and hers started.

“Thank you,” Natasha pulled away and dragged her thumb across the bottom of Maria’s lip to get rid of any traces of lipstick. 

She wasn’t sure if the nice words were for the kiss or the birthday wish, either way, she wasn’t going to complain as they started back down the street. It was just before 9 as they rounded the last corner and the girl came into view from where she was seated next to a large window. Liam was at her side, talking as he handed her a piece of the cookie from his own plate, both adults were talking to each other, and Ellie was nodding along to which conversation it was hard to tell.

“Okay, you have to remember, she’s 5,” Maria looked at the woman next to her, “so what she made you was… well it was made by a 5-year-old.”

“What,” Natasha raised a single eyebrow, “You think I’m going to criticize her art?”  

“No no… I mean not on purpose. You were just raised-” the Deputy Director shrugged.

“We.”

“What?” 

“We,” Natasha corrected once more, “We were raised by the Red Room.”

Of course, Maria knew that. She knew that both of them had been raised in the Red Room, but it wasn’t until that moment that it totally hit her. These two knew each other fundamentally better than anyone else, even if they scared each other in the process of figuring that out. 

“Right,” she nodded.

“Come on, I won't give her art a scathing review,” Natasha laughed, “I do have a heart, ya know?”

“I do,” Maria followed her into the bakery. 

“Mommy,” Ellie’s face lit up as she crawled over her friend.

“Oh Ellie don’t-” Maria winced as she pushed Liam out of the way, “sorry buddy.”

“That’s okay, Miss Maria,” he smiled, showing off his missing teeth, “Woah, you’re the Black Widow!”

“Liam-” it was now Liam’s mother’s turn to be embarrassed on behalf of her child.

“No, no that’s okay,” Natasha waved from where she stood against the booth, “I am, how are you?”

“Oh I’m good, Ellie and I were trading cookies and she had chocolate chip and I had a brownie kind but we both liked both of them so then we started sharing,” the boy started to ramble, “but you’re the black widow, you’re pretty much my favorite or maybe Thor. I used to like Captain America the best but Mommy says that he burns the coffee at work and that smell is NOT my favorite so I think it’s probably you.”

“Sorry,” Agent Ruiz winced, her husband looking just as starstruck as his son. Ellie picked up on this, as she always did, and snickered from behind Maria’s leg. 

“No, you're not wrong,” she laughed, “try living with him. He says that’s how they used to drink it in the 40s but I’m pretty sure he just forgets about the pot as soon as he puts it on.”

“Thanks again,” the Commander interjected. 

“Of course, she’s seriously such a good kid,” Ruiz waved to Ellie who smiled, “she’s always welcome to hang out.”

“I appreciate that,” Maria smoothed out the hair on top of the girl's head, “are you guys going to the library next week?”

“We’re going to try to, see you there?”

“We’ll be there,” the brunette nodded, “Say thank you, Ellie.”

“Thank you,” the girl smiled and fist-bumped her friend. 

The three left the shop, Ellie making sure that she was on the other side of Maria’s body so she could dictate how often to look at Natasha. The spy obviously noticed and continued to talk to Maria so the girl didn’t get overwhelmed. After a few blocks, l Ellie slowly came out of her shell and smiled before signing to Maria. 

<School, tomorrow?>

“No,” Maria signed and spoke at the same time, “two days.”

Ellie took this in and nodded before whipping her head around as Natasha signed. 

<Do you know the days?> the redhead asked.

The girl looked at Maria and smiled before shaking her head and signing <no>. The rest of the walk home Natasha signed each day, trying to show her exactly how to move her fingers. With the knowledge that she could communicate with the woman in a number of ways, Ellie relaxed and became more engaged.  

It was a short walk back to the apartment where Ellie waved hi to the doorman before racing to push the button on the elevator. She waited until all three occupants were in the space before speaking to Natasha. 

“Birthday?” the girl asked in her mother tongue, making it clear she remembered who Natasha was from their short time together on the carrier. 

“Yes,” the Russian nodded, flipping to the language with practiced ease. 

<Me too> Ellie signed as the elevator started to climb. 

“No, sweetie, it’s only one person’s birthday. We don’t all get older on the same day,” Maria tried to correct the confusion. 

Ellie squinted and turned her head to the side, “am not wrong, Kyra said it when we leave.”  

Maria suddenly had a pit in her stomach, “are you saying we missed your birthday, little bear?” 

The child shrugged and smiled as the doors opened onto their level, immediately she took off down the hall. Maria looked at the woman next to her who just gave her a soft, knowing smile. 

“Don’t feel bad, you didn’t know,” Natasha rubbed a small circle on her back, “plus, she’s never celebrated her birthday before so I promise she wasn’t disappointed when there wasn’t a party.”

It did little to make her feel better as she reached the door where Ellie stood guard. 

“Today is your birthday?” She asked the child as she got her key out, feeling like she was the worst parent in the world.

“No, November thirty,” the girl brushed past as she held up her hands once the door was opened, “stay.” 

The Commander knew that because the gift wasn’t technically wrapped, the girl would want to bring it out from where she had stashed it on the kitchen island that morning. Both adults waited in the doorway as the child darted into the dark apartment. 

“I’m the worst,” Maria hung her head as she waited, “the absolute worst.”

“You’re not, not even close,” Natasha shook her head, “Listen, I’ll go down to the Russian bakery on 28th and we-” the spy inhaled sharply. 

Maria looked up as she heard the distinct sound of ceramic shattering, “Shit, she’s going to be so mad at herself.”

Natasha drew her Glock from inside her coat and walked into the apartment, eyebrows furrowed as she inhaled again.

“Ellie?” the brunette walked towards the kitchen, “I’m sure Tasha isn’t going to mind… Ellie?”

She looked around the room, but the girl was nowhere in sight. 

“It smells like gunpowder,” Natasha walked towards the living room, “Ellie?”

“Elizaveta?” panic crept into her as she turned on the lights in the apartment and pulled her own service weapon, “Bear?”

She could feel her pulse quicken, her breath coming in short gasps as she ran to her room and scanned the spot in front of her closet. Empty. 

“She- she knows-” the brunette sucked in breath after breath, “she knows to go here as soon as she’s in troub- Tasha.”

“It’s okay,” the Russian continued to look through the apartment, opening each door she came across. 

Maria pulled her phone out of her jacket and unlocked it with shaking hands before clicking on Laura’s number. 

“Hey honey,” Laura answered after the third ring. 

“Is she-” she swallowed, knowing the answer before she even asked the question “is she there?” 

“No,” the woman answered, “Clint, kids, have you seen Ellie?”

The Deputy Director forced herself to search alongside Natasha as she heard murmuring from the other side of the phone. 

“They haven't seen her, what can we do, Commander?” Laura brought her back to the present, causing her to flip the switch into work mode. 

“Call Natasha, I need to call this in.” she hung up before saying goodbye, immediately using her phone to dial the number for the head of security. 

“Deputy Director, I’m sure you’re aware it's 9:30 pm on a Friday?” the man’s voice cut through.

“I am aware General Stoner, this is an emergency situation,” she let out a deep breath, “I am requesting STRIKE team presents at SHIELD building 443.”

“Right now?” Stoner questioned

“Hill,” Natasha stood next to a window that had been fully removed next to the kitchen. 

Her breath hitched, “Yes, for a kidnapping.” 

“Who is the missing person?” He gave Maria his full attention now.  

“My-” she swallowed, pulling herself back to Deputy Director mode, “my daughter, sir. Elizaveta.”

“I can’t give you STRIKE,” he sounded apologetic, “but seeing that this is a SHIELD building and that it's your daughter, I can get you a task force and will sign off on any additional volunteers you can wrangle.” 

“Thank you, sir,” she stood next to the open window, peering over the side that seemed much higher up than it ever had before. 

“I’m sorry, Hill, I hope she’s home safely soon.”

She could vaguely hear Natasha talking on the phone next to her as she made the next call. It felt like an eternity before the line was connected. 

“Give me task force one.”

“Connecting now, Commander Hill.”

“This is Agent Gerber,” Maria was immediately agitated, knowing Gerber was not her biggest fan. 

“Gerber, who’s on your force right now?” she gritted out, listening as the agent slowly listed off the other 5 members, “Send out a memo, we have a break-in and- and a kidnapping in building 443, apartment 1608. I want all six of you here ASAP.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the younger agent responded, “we can be there in fortyyyyyyy-six minutes.”

Once again, the Commander hung up the phone without saying goodbye. Knowing that if she opened her mouth again either an explosion of anger or a sob would escape her lips, neither of which would be useful. She scrolled through her contacts one last time to make the phone call she was dreading the most. 

“Fury,” the man answered, his voice causing her to waver immediately. 

“Nick she’s- someone-” she sucked in a breath and stopped as Natasha stuck her arm out to prevent her from walking further. 

Maria looked down and saw the redhead and blocked her from stepping on the reminisce of the ceramic box that had shattered. 

“What happened?” Fury pushed. 

“Someone kidnapped Ellie from the apartment and she hasn’t come back and-” tears began to fall as she felt like she had let down not only her daughter but Nick as well. He would have kept her safe, he always kept her safe. 

“I’ll be there in ten.”

Her knees buckled from under her as she dropped in front of the shattered gift, Natasha’s arms wrapped around her to lessen the blow as she hit the floor. Sobs ripped through her as she wracked her brain for answers to questions she couldn’t fully formulate. The whole time, firm hands kept her together. 

“The cops are on their way, so are Steve and Barton and anyone else who I could get,” the Russian spoke softly.  

Maria glanced up, her vision landing first on the rules still taped to the fridge before looking at the girl's medication on the counter, “She doesn’t have her meds, she can’t go without her meds Tasha and her Aлена is here so she’s probably so scared because it’s dark outside and she hates-” she gasped for breath, “it’s rule one, I keep her safe. That’s rule one.” 

“Ria, breathe,” Natasha stroked her thumb over the woman’s cheek, “just breathe. We’re going to find her.”

The two sat like that until there was a knock on the door, the Russian answered to give Maria a moment to stand and compose herself.  

“Romanoff,” Fury didn’t sound surprised as he walked into the apartment, “details.”

Natasha relayed what had happened, first to the Director, then to the cops as they came to the door and asked. The officers took Maria aside and asked more questions which included obtaining court documents that proved Maria was her legal guardian, a DNA sample from the girl's hairbrush, and a copy of Ellie’s school picture. Maria walked the police out of the apartment and realized while she had been answering questions, more agents had shown up including the task force. 

“I just think it’s fair for us to know what we’re up against, for the safety of my team,” Gerber started. 

“For the safety of your team?” Natasha scoffed, “she’s a child!”

“An enhanced individual is an enchanted individual,” the agent shrugged. 

“We’re not at liberty to say what she can do,” Rodgers stepped in, trying his best to keep the peace. 

“I am,” Maria spoke up, suddenly all eyes were on her, “I am also at liberty to tell you that she is not who you are up against. The people who took the child are who you’re up against- who your team’s safety is up against.”

“My teams' safety is my highest concern.”

“Oh is it?” Maria was starting to lose her composure, “That’s funny because I don’t remember it being your highest concern when you put us on course to Greece and not Germany during the battle of New York, preventing us from helping teams in need. It sure as hell wasn’t your highest concern when you were caught hiding from a firefight on your 6th mission.”

“Hill,” someone warned. 

“The only reason we’re here right now is because it’s your kid and everyone, including Stoner, knows that.” Gerber stepped closer to the Commander. 

“You’re damn fucking right you’re here because she is my kid,” she was yelling now, “don’t you EVER question me when it comes to the task reporting for. Do you know who I am??”

“Yes, ma’am,” Gerber stepped back as she stepped closer. 

“I SAID DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM?”

“Yes, Deputy Director Hill,” he whispered as she was less than an inch from his face.    

“THEN YOU BETTER START ACTING LIKE IT BEFORE I-” she was cut off as arms nearly picked her up and pushed her out of her apartment and into the stairwell. 

She continued to yell and break out of the grasp she was being held in until she was in another apartment, not hers but almost as familiar. It was another few minutes before she calmed down enough to glance around the living room she was standing in. 

“You back with us?” Bobbi called out from where she had positioned herself in front of the door. 

“Yeah, I-” Maria blinked a few more times before she realized where she was, the realization hitting her like a ton of bricks. 

“Sorry,” the blonde cleared her throat, “I knew I had to get you out of there before you killed that asshole and…”

“You have a key,” Maria filled in. Of course, the woman had a key to Phil and May’s apartment, she was as close as family to them. 

The agent nodded. 

“I need to get back in there,” she braced herself and stood up.

“Or,” the blonde shrugged, “you can take a minute and let everyone else handle it.”

“Morse-”

“No, I know. I know you’re the best handler there is and that she’s your kid but… maybe you take a breather and let Fury take over.”

Maria took in a breath to argue, knowing that she wouldn’t let anyone work on a case involving her daughter until Bobbi one more spoke up.

“Or at least wait until Romanoff finishes kicking that kid's ass both physically and psychologically. That way you can claim plausible deniability and they’ll let you stay on the case.”

The agent had a point and so the Commander sat back down on the arm of the couch, trying her best not to think of how scared Ellie was probably feeling. 

“She was supposed to be theirs, ya know,” she looked up and met Bobbi’s gaze. 

“I do know,” the blonde spoke softly as she leaned against the door. 

“They would have kept her safe,” Maria pushed the tears down, “Phil would know what to do.”

To her surprise, Morse laughed, “first of all, there’s no way they would have known she was going to get taken tonight. Just like you didn't, so don't go blaming yourself for something out of your control.”

It was in my control, I should have walked in with her, I should have turned on the lights, I should have-

“And second of all, May would have bolted already, and Phil would have nuked half the world trying to find her.”

Maria glanced up, there was nothing she wouldn’t do to bring Ellie back.

“Not saying you wouldn’t, just, you know to take a step back and do it logically before acting based on emotion.” Bobbi stood up straighter.

“Thanks, Doctor Morse.”

“Ew, you know I hate that,” the agent laughed, “alright, that’s probably enough time. Ready?”

“Ready.” Maria stood up and slammed the mask back on her face before leaving the apartment, prepared to destroy the earth to bring her daughter back home.

Chapter Text

The apartment still buzzed from what Maria could only assume was a verbal (and possibly physical) reprimanding courtesy of the two Avengers who stood in solidarity next to Fury. Agent Gerber was still present and taking in information from the Director who stood in front of Maria’s TV. Bobbi and Maria hung towards the background in the kitchen as they caught up on the details. 

“As I said, at this time it is believed that this was a targeted attack not only on the Deputy Director but on her child.” He took a step to the side and the TV illuminated with a picture of Ellie, “Due to the sensitive nature of this kidnapping, we will not be disclosing whose child this is, nor will we give explicit details to anyone outside of this room. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir,” the group answered in unison. 

“The task force will work as our liaisons between SHIELD and local government. I want half of you combing through any records you can get your hands on, CCVT, missing person reports, and suspicious activity reported, the other half will go on foot patrol. Anywhere you could imagine a child hiding or being hidden, you will talk to the police, you will visit hospitals, you will be our eyes and ears for the surrounding 20 blocks. After 4 hours, you switch positions, clear?”

“Yes, sir,” the task force stood up and waited to be dismissed. Fury nodded and started Gerber down as he approached Maria. 

“I apologize for questioning you and your orders, ma’am,” his face was red on one side, and his hands shook slightly. Still, the man seemed genuine. 

“I shouldn’t have yelled,” she wasn’t ready to accept his apology, not just yet. 

“My team is going to try our best to find your daughter,” he stuck his hand out. 

Maria shook it and watched as he left the apartment. 

“That leaves us with you lot,” Fury spoke to the rest of the agents present. 

Bobbi followed Maria into the living room as she looked at the rest of the occupants. Steve and Natasha were still stationed next to Fury, there were several other faces who Maria wasn’t as familiar with including agents Carter, and Hunter, and a man she had only met twice named Rhodes who she was pretty sure had another Ironman suit. She was appreciative of each and every one of them. 

“Elizaveta is indeed an enhanced person, this is known only to a few people, and for that reason, I will not be expressing exactly how she is enhanced to keep that information out of the wrong hands,” Fury glanced around the room, “that being said, she can travel extreme distances in an inhuman amount of time so she could very well be in a location much further away than where the Taskforce is searching.”

Maria tried her best not to think of just how far away the girl could be, but still, her mind started to spin at the thought of it. A firm hand braced her shoulder, yet she kept her face neutral and focused on Fury, positive that if she fell into the comfort she would break down. 

“I understand that you all have missions outside of this. I also understand that I’m the head of this fucking organization and I get to decide what missions are important currently, and which ones we can push off. As of now, you are all null of obligations outside of this mission,” the group glanced around at each other, “that doesn’t mean you can just blow off your SHIELD responsibilities, but it does mean that your primary focus can be on getting Elizaveta home.”

Every time Maria was reminded that the girl wasn’t in the next room, was like a gut punch. Still, she kept the mask in place. 

“Hill, I need you to go through each agent's current missions and determine how relevant they currently are, and who can cover for them in case it’s a priority,” he focused his gaze on her. 

“Yes, sir,” she knew it was busy work, but at this point, she wasn't sure what else she could handle. 

Fury then went through the pairings of each agent and explained what resources were available for their use (more or less everything in their arsenal). It was well past 11pm by the time her apartment started to clear out as agents strategize with each other, Maria kept quiet but was already formulating the best plan of attack for each group. She would have their mission reports typed up by the morning.

“I don’t want you going out there tonight,” Fury sat on the coffee table in front of her.

“Is that an order?” she countered.

“It is if I need to make it one,” he sighed and put his hand on her knee that bounced ever so slightly, “we’re going to find her, but until then we need to assume that you are in as much danger as she is. There’s no telling if she was what they wanted, or if they’re just using her as leverage against you.”

“You’re sidelining me,” the blue-eyed woman was smart and knew when her talents weren’t being used to their full potential, “Current mission statuses and backup agents? Really Fury?”

“You’re the only one who has a high enough clearance to see what everyone is working on. Plus, she’s your family, you shouldn’t be working on anything related to the case at all.”

“I can-” she started.

“Do I need to remind you of article 42, subsection 6, amendment 3?” The man pinned her with his one working eye. 

“No.”

It was actually an amendment that she had filed and brought to the board for approval herself after a rookie went awol and killed two civilians after their brother had been shot. She saw how family ties could cloud judgment, she knew, and yet she still wanted to hate the man in front of her for using it against her.   

“Then try your best to rest and leave this to us,” Fury stood up, “It’s going to be okay, Maria. We’re going to find little miss, but she needs a mom to come home to.”

Maria nodded and watched as her boss left the apartment, leaving only Steve and Natasha in the space. She met them by the widow that was still missing, noticing that at some point, someone had cleaned up the broken birthday gift. 

“No, it’s only a single hung so 24” by 36”, I can get my hands on one,” Steve looked at the hole that was letting in the cold winter air. 

The fire escape next to their main living room window hadn’t been used, they knew that there was a camera in its sightline. There was no shattered glass, there were no scuffs on the paint, whoever removed the widow knew exactly what they were doing, and how much time they had to do it. They had been watched, it sent shivers down Maria’s spine. 

“I’ll pick one up and head back over, give me an hour and you’ll be good as new.”

“You don’t have to, I can go to the hardware store tomorrow,” the brunette continued to stare into the night. 

“I don’t mind, plus it’ll give me a chance to make sure the Taskforce is doing their job,” the blonde took one more look at the window and then turned to leave, “coming, Tasha?”

The Russian glanced quickly at Maria, “I’m just going to grab my bag from the apartment but I’m coming back. Okay?”

As much as she wanted to trust that the woman had changed, she couldn’t help but think that she wouldn’t come back. It had gotten too real, too quickly and the Widow would run, she always was a flight risk. Still, the Commander nodded. 

And then it was just Maria. She busied herself first, pulling out her phone to call Liam’s parents, knowing that it was late, but also knowing they were used to working nights and getting late calls.

“Hey, Hill,” the agent sounded as if she hadn’t yet gone to sleep, “we switch gloves again?”

Ellie and Liam often switched gloves, no one really knew why but on multiple occasions Maria had found mittens that she hadn’t purchased in her laundry. 

“Um,” she cleared her throat, “No. When we got home tonight Ellie ran inside to pick something up and someone- someone kidnapped her.”

“What?” the woman’s voice was laced with concern, “Do you need me to come over? Is there a mission I can pick up?”

“I might call you to cover another agent's mission depending on availability but you’re too close to the missing person.”

“Anything, anything you need I can make sure it gets done.”

“Thank you,” she was genuinely appreciative, leave it to Ellie to pick a best friend with the nicest parents. 

“What happened?” Ruiz dropped her voice.

“We don’t know for sure,” she stared at the ceiling to keep the tears from falling, “the window in our kitchen was removed and there were no traceable prints. She was here, and then she was gone.”

“I’m so sorry, please let me know if there’s anything else we can do to help. Anything at all.”

Maria said her goodbyes and hung up the phone, returning to the eerie silence of her apartment. It had been months since she could properly hear the hum of her fridge, most of the time there was music playing for Ellie to dance to, or the child humming to music she had made herself, if not it was a show about space on the TV playing in the background, or Maria talking to the little girl as she made dinner- 

She could feel her heart start to race as she threaded her fingers into her hair and slowly slid down the wall outside Ellie’s room. The brunette tugged slightly at the base of her hair as she tried to keep it together, crying wasn’t going to bring her daughter home. She squeezed her eyes closed tightly, wondering why Ellie hadn’t done the same. 

It was a big enough question to get her up from the ground and over to her desk where she started on a list of anything and everything she could think of. 

Missing Person Report Sheet:
Break-in occurred sometime between the hours of 6-9pm through corner window of apartment 1608. No traces or signs of forced entry (other than missing glass) were visible under fluorescent and blue light.
Removal of window shows that the assailant has knowledge of building 443, inner workings, possible blueprints. 
Individual is able to teleport, teleportation limits unknown.
Individual did not attempt to teleport during the kidnapping. 
MH believes the individual was unable to, possible reasons include knowledge of assailant, unconscious, unable due to circumstances unknown.

The Commander continued to type out every detail she could think of, and revise who would be best fitted for further exploration until Steve walked through the front door. 

“You didn’t lock your door,” he stood in front of her with a new pane of glass.

It was unlike her to forget to do something like that, she didn’t want to psychoanalyze the reason behind it. 

“I’ll be fine,” she tapped her thigh holster, “plus if someone really wanted in, apparently they can just come through my window.”

“Not for long,” the blonde held up his toolbag, “Tasha isn’t back yet?”

“No,” Maria continued to type, knowing that there was a high possibility she wouldn’t see Natasha again.

“I’m sure she will be soon,” Steve walked over to the window and pulled out various tools, “It’s pretty cold in here, Ria. You should throw on a coat.”

The Deputy Director hummed and continued to type, regardless of how her fingers ached in the cold air. They sat with the only noise coming from her typing for a while until Steve finished the installation and came over to her desk.

“Is there anyone I can call for you?” Apparently, he got the message that the Russian wouldn’t be returning as well.

“I’ll be fine,” she didn’t look away from her screen, searching now for anything on missing children or strange phenomena. 

“Are you sure? I don’t think you should be here alone-”

“I said I’ll be fine,” Maria snapped, finally looking up to meet Steve’s gaze. 

“Ria…” The man leaned against her desk.

“I don’t have anyone else,” she spoke quietly, “Laura is with the kids and thousands of miles away, Phil’s dead, and May’s gone.”

For the first time in a long time, she wanted nothing more than her Aubela, she would know what to do. It felt like everyone but her knew what to do. 

“Then let me stay,” the blonde put his hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay, you need to rest. I’ll be fine,” she turned back to her computer and continued searching.

“Call me if you need anything, okay?” Steve stood back up and walked towards the door, “and at least come lock the door behind me.”

Maria nodded and followed the man out, “thank you, for fixing the window and everything else.”

“You’re welcome,” he brought her in for a hug, his arms enveloping her body as he kissed the top of her head, “we’re going to find her, Ria.”

The woman nodded and closed the door behind him, flipping the lock into place as she quickly brushed tears off her cheeks. She sat down and scanned more headlines, trying to find anything she could to bring Ellie back home as everyone had promised. 

Her fingers were sore and her eyes burned as she finally hung her head in her hands in a moment of rest. She hadn’t looked at a clock since Steve left, but if the ache in her body was any indication of how late it was (it was, she was a seasoned pro at reading it), she figured it was well past 2am. In that time, she had found nothing useful. The CCTV had been spray painted over rather than having the wires cut, almost confirming the suspicion that whoever had done this, knew the workings of the building well. If the wires had been cut, the batteries would have kicked in and information would still have been stored, the paint was also sprayed from behind on all the cameras, even the ones that looked nothing like cameras. 

Maria took another deep breath as she dug the heels of her palm into her closed eyes. She could hear the lock on the front door turn as she lazily disengaged the safety of her gun, not taking it out of the hostler until the person who had entered was a foot from her. By that point, she could hear the lack of footsteps, and the smell of orange blossom, vanilla, and ever so slightly like cigarettes.  
  
“You would have been in a world of pain if it had been someone else,” the spy noticed her re-engaged the safety. 

“Yeah,” Maria looked up, Natasha’s face was slightly pink around her rose and the tips of her ears.

The two stared at each other, their expressions so different than they had been a few hours earlier on their date.

“You weren’t going to come back,” Maria figured.

“Old habits die hard,” Natasha averted her gaze, there was no use in denying it, “but, I’m here now.” 

Maria sagged at the words, letting Natasha pull her into her chest from where she stood next to the desk. 

“I’m here now,” the woman reiterated as she stroked Maria’s hair. 

“What if we don’t find her?” Maria could barely get herself to ask.

“We will.” Natasha seemed adamant.

“How do you know that? Everyone keeps saying it but we don’t know, she could be dead-” the brunette felt like she had the air ripped from her body as she said it out loud. 

“I know because she’s from the Red Room, she escaped from the Red Room, you don’t just do that,” Natasha pulled away from Maria until she could look her in the eye, “You have to be incredibly strong to get away and then survive. She’s a survivor.”

It was quiet for a moment before Natasha spoke again, “And to appease the Deputy Director part of your brain, they wouldn’t kill her. They want something from her, if it was just to get back at you they would have killed her and left her here.”

As twisted as it was, the logical part did in fact bring peace to the Deputy Director. She knew that it was the truth, they wanted Ellie most likely because of her ability to teleport, they couldn’t separate it from the girl. They would need her alive. 

Natasha continued to sit with Maria for a while longer as the Commander continued to work. It wasn’t until she had made the same mistake three times on the Missing Person Report Sheet that the Russian tugged at her shirt. 

“Come on, Masha,” the redhead got up, “you need to try and rest, even if it’s just for a little while.”

Maria wanted to fight it, to tell her that she was fine to keep going. But she knew that she was past the point of creating anything useful and sent Fury and the Taskforce what she had. Her body hurt as she stood up and followed Natasha into the bedroom, stopping by Ellie’s room one last time. 

The woman walked over to where Aлена was still sitting on the girl's nightstand and flipped it on, hoping that the batteries wouldn’t run out in the night. 

“If she comes back-” she swallowed and looked at Natasha who was still standing outside of the door, “she’ll want…”

The Russian nodded and closed the door after Maria finally exited and walked into her bedroom. She sat on the end of her bed and toed off her shoes before stripping out of her clothes from their date and pulling on a pair of joggers and an old west point that Ellie called her “oosma shirt” because of the school's acronym written across the chest. She pulled the fabric between her fingers until Natasha beckoned her over to lie down on the bed properly. 

The two curled up into one another for a night that was anything but restful. Maria would wake with a start at any small noise, searching the spot in front of her closet first, and then darting her eyes over to where she could see the light still shining from under Ellie’s bedroom door. It would take Natasha a few minutes to calm her and get her to lie back down. 

“We’re going to find her,” the Russian would kiss the side of her head and pull her back down to the bed.

It was barely past six when someone knocked on the door. Neither of them had been sleeping, Natasha signed <Clint> to ease Maria’s worries as she went to let the archer into the apartment. 

The Commander went into the bathroom and pulled her hair back before washing her face and taking a look at the woman in the reflection in front of her. Her eyes were icy and irritated, the bags under them only harshened her look. There was nothing she could do about it now and so she flipped the light off and exited the room. 

Barton’s voice was low as she walked further into the apartment, she was about to ask him about his delayed arrival when she saw another person standing in her living room. 

“Maria,” the blonde inclined her head.

“Yelena,” she returned. 

The young woman was looking much better than she had been the last time she saw her. Over the months the blonde’s cheeks had filled out, she no longer looked gaunt and weary, she also didn’t look as if she was going to bolt at the drop of a hat. 

“Ria,” Clint opened his arms and took her in, “Laura says to call, day or night. She’s going to try and help from the farm as much as she can.”

“Thank you,” Maria rested her head on the archer's shoulder for a moment longer before righting herself and walking into the kitchen.

“Coffee?” she asked the group who all nodded. 

She had just started the pot before instinctively reaching for the pill bottle on the counter and shaking out two pills. It had been such a routine at this point to get the little girl's medication out that she didn’t think twice. Luckily, Natasha quickly walked over and sealed the bottle once more, taking Maria’s shaking hand in her own. 

“It’s okay.” 

It felt like anything but okay, still she accepted the hand willingly and in a matter of minutes was sitting with the others in the living room. Coffee wafted over all of them as she got the two newest members up to speed on what happened. 

“Anything come up on SHIELD's radar yet?” Clint was finished reading over the report.

“Nothing so far,” Maria had checked again as they waited for the coffee to brew. 

“All building cameras were disabled?” He continued to question

“All cameras in the surrounding blocks as well.”

“And there were no prints, no broken glass, and the fire escape wasn’t used?”

“Correct,” Maria nodded as the room fell silent.

“You have a rat,” Yelena spoke what everyone had been thinking. 

“Lena,” Natasha warned. 

“No, she’s,” Maria scrubbed at her face, “she’s probably right.”

“I am right,” the blonde inclined her head, “I have been doing this since I was 6, Talia even longer so she can confirm. You do not get this type of knowledge from observation alone. To know each camera location and how to dislodge the window quietly and efficiently? Someone needed to give that information.”

Natasha subtly nodded in agreement. 

“What you do with this information is,” Yelena moved her hand back and forth, “eh, up to you. But I would be cognizant as to remember who you have looking for Lizavetka.”

The Commander knew that Yelena had a close relationship with the girl’s original handler and that it spilled over to Ellie as well. The late nights when she would cradle the younger girl on the couch as if she was the most precious thing in the world would not leave Maria’s memory for as long as she lived. The blonde herself had just come down from chemical subjugation and was still able to offer a kindness-

“Subjugation,” Maria snapped her head to look at the other two women, focusing in on Yelena, “what if they put her under chemical subjugation before taking her? What if that’s the reason she hasn’t come home?”

The room was quiet as everyone took in the information, Natasha drummed her fingers on her sister's knuckles, seemingly bringing the younger woman back to the conversation. 

“It would have caused her to lose consciousness to be put back under quickly. If you are not given the injection slowly it will cause you to pass out until your conscious and subconscious are no longer fighting.” 

Maria went over to the main window of the living room and opened it, it was all too much, she needed air. The others continued to talk as she braced herself on the ledge between the widows and the fire escape.  

“Do you know who still has access to the serum? If we find the manufacturer then we might be able to see who they sell it to,” Clint offered.  

Yelena’s eyes darted quickly to Natasha before landing on the coffee table in front of her, “I am unsure. I could ask but… I… I do not know.”

Yelena suddenly looked very much her age as she pulled a knee in close to her chest, her sister was unsure of if the blonde was nervous because she didn’t know who made the serum, or more nervous that she did. Natasha began to question the younger woman in Russian, a move that caught Maria’s attention as she turned back to face the room.

“I will try, but I cannot promise anything,” the younger of the two spoke in English once more.

“That’s all I’m asking,” the redhead squeezed her sister's hand, “and that you’re safe while you do it.” 

The days seemed to simultaneously drag on and fly by as Maria continued to field questions from anyone and everyone working on the case. It had been 4 full days since Ellie had been kidnapped and the only things they had to go off of were the possibility of subjugation and a single electrical phenomenon in Argentina. She had been allowed to return to work on Monday to not raise any suspicion as she used her work computer to continue and try to search for her daughter. 

By Tuesday afternoon, she was noticeably meaner than she had ever been, agents actively avoided her, staff kept their heads down. She had almost fired the member of the IT department who let her know that someone tried to hack into her personal file.

“But don’t worry ma’am, we stopped them before they got any of your information!” the woman explained cheerily on the phone. 

“Who was it,” the Commander asked.

“Ma’am?”

“Who tried to get into my file?” Maria gritted into the speaker.

“Oh… well we don’t really know, you see with this kind of cyber attack the IP address is-” the woman continued.

“I don’t need a fucking history lesson on IP addresses, I need you to tell me who tried to get into my personal file!”

“Yes, ma’am. I can- I can try and get that for you. It’s just-”

Maria hung up, tired of excuses, tired of the bullshit, and pulled up the agent's commanding officer’s number. She picked up the phone to call when Natasha walked in and clicked the receiver with a single finger before wrapping her hand around the phone and hanging it up. 

“You’re tired and angry, and looking for a fight,” Romanoff herself didn’t look much better than Maria. She had gotten a little more sleep but spent most of her time juggling the mission, and keeping her sister out of SHIELD's sights as she sat right under their noses. 

“The person who tried to get into that file might know about Ellie, they might be looking to get more information on her or-” she pulled at her hair until Natasha’s hands wound around her fingers and she released. 

“Or it’s just another security breach that’s happened before,” the spy took the woman's hands and kissed her knuckles, “come on, let’s go home.”

Maria glanced at the clock on her desk, it was late, another day that Ellie was out in the world without her. Another day without her medication. Another day where Maria Hill failed. 

“Come on,” Natasha beckoned, pulling the woman to her feet as she prepared to leave the office. 

They left the nearly quiet building and headed back to the apartment that had been a common meeting place for everyone who was working on the mission of bringing Ellie home. By far, one of the most heartbreaking moments of Maria’s day (other than turning the flashlight on and off every day) was when she walked by Sergius, the doorman who had been briefed on what happened. 

“Any word?” he looked hopeful as he opened the door to the lobby for the women.

Maria shook her head, “no.”

“There will be soon, I know it,” Sergius offered. 

“Thank you,” Natasha spoke up as the two walked towards the elevator. 

The apartment was quiet as they walked in, everyone had been investigating any activity they could get their hands on and were unable to come until the next day. Even Clint had left to investigate the possible energy surge in South America. Which left Yelena, Maria, and Natasha alone for one of the first times ever.  

Yelena looked up from her phone for a moment as the two walked in, raising a single eyebrow in an unspoken question. Natasha shook her head back in silent answer, Maria scrubbed a hand over her face in frustration as she walked through the apartment that was still far too quiet. It was another day of failure, another day of agony that felt like no matter how many scraps of information they had, the full picture was falling through Maria’s fingers as she tried desperately to hold on to them, to make them make sense. 

The Commander walked into her bedroom and closed the door behind her as she stripped out of the clothes she had been in for too many hours, in favor of the soft material of her old shirt and worn joggers. The door of her closet closed with too much force as she knelt on the spot in front of it. Maria pulled her hair tie out and let her hair fall freely as she hung her head and closed her eyes tightly. 

She clenched her jaw as she prayed to a God she had stopped believing in long ago, bargaining, pleading, and finally begging for Ellie to come home. There was nothing to show for it as she opened her eyes before closing them once again, this time asking to the universe, to different gods, to Phil, to anyone she could think of. She opened her eyes once more and yelled in frustration as she stared at the empty floor in front of her. 

“Come on! Please!” she begged through gritted teeth, “I don’t know what else to do!”

Her hands ached from how hard she had balled her fists in anger as she continued to let the feeling course through her body. The anger slowly turned to sadness, which encased her as she lay down next to the closet. It was hard to tell how long she had been laying in sorrow before she finally cried herself to sleep, waking up later to a stiff body, and a blanket that had been draped over her. 

Maria winced as she stood up fully in the empty room, the night sky was visible through her window, as was the flashlight that was on in Ellie’s room. Feeling foolish, and knowing she had wasted vital time crying, she went to search for Natasha, hoping the woman was fairing better. 

The apartment was dark and quiet as Yelena woke from her sleep on the couch and pointed to the main window in the living room. Maria opened it slowly, knowing that the other Russian was most likely sitting on the fire escape. 

“Hey,” Natasha only looked half surprised as she scooted over to accommodate the new person, “you okay?”

Maria nodded and took a seat on the steel surface, knowing that she was fooling no one. 

“I’m sorry,” the redhead spoke quietly, only continuing after Maria cocked her head to the side in confusion, “for not finding her yet. I’m- I’m trying everything I can- accessing everything I have and talking to everyone I know but-”

“I know,” Maria looked at the lights of the city, “we’re all trying our best, it just hasn’t been enough.”

The two sat in silence for a while longer before guilt and stress finally crept in enough to cause Natasha to pull a pack of cigarettes out from where she had stashed them in the stairwell of the fire escape. The Commander sat and listened to the familiar sound of a lighter followed by the woody, bitter smell of smoke. 

“Those things will kill you, ya know,” Maria warned as she reached over and pulled the cigarette from Natasha’s mouth and stuck it between her own lips as she took a log drag. 

“I know,” the Russian eyed the brunette's hip tattoo as the woman reached over to hand the cigarette back. 

Maria noticed the gaze and tugged her shirt down as she looked over at Natasha who was back facing the city. They sat in the cold December air for a while longer, Maria only speaking again as she stood to head back into the apartment. 

“Ursa Minor,” she spoke softly.

The spy tilted her head.

“You asked me if I was going to get another tattoo, and I told you I wanted one but didn’t know what I wanted,” she clarified, “Ursa Minor.” 

The little bear. 

Chapter Text

Maria slipped back through the window, pausing as she re-entered the apartment where Yelena was no longer pretending to sleep on her couch. The blonde opened her mouth to speak before closing it again and adverting her gaze. 

“What is it?” the Commander questioned, trying her best not to spook the young woman. 

Yelena pulled her phone out, nervously glancing around as her sister closed the main window. 

“Yelena,” Maria prompted again. 

“I know that I was to retrieve more information about the subjugation serum and who has access to it, and I did do that,” the young woman flipped her phone around to show her screen. 

Maria sat on the coffee table in front of the couch and took hold of the phone before realizing the conversation was in Russian. She handed it to Natasha who sat next to her sister. 

“Who is this?” the redhead glanced up from the device. 

“Klavdiya, she has worked with me a lot to free others but she does not have another place to go after missions,” the blonde explained, “she spends much more time at the farm.”

Maria looked over to Natasha, before motioning to the phone. 

“She says that Melina has access to more subjugation serum, that she’s seen the vials herself.”

The Deputy Director stood up, it was all she needed. She would go to the farm tonight and get the information from Melina by any means necessary. 

“But,” Yelena stopped her with a single hand up as she spoke quickly, “Melina was in a very similar situation as the rest of the women controlled by the Red Room. She would not do this-”

“Like hell she wouldn’t, she let us rot in the Room while she got to play doctor in a house all to herself away from Dreykov!” Natasha shook her head. 

“Sister, listen,” the younger woman put her hands up, “I called Melina.”

“Yelena!”

“Listen!” she yelled back at her sister, “She confirmed that she does have more serum and that she uses it to derive the antidote. I asked her if it was all accounted for and she said yes and I asked her to check again. She hung up on me.”

It was quiet for a moment until Yelena pulled up another text message, “while you were outside she messaged me and told me that she was in fact missing two vials after she checked. But it was not her.”

“You don’t know that,” Maria started going over a mental list of everything she would need to grab before leaving for Saint Petersburg. 

“I do, I know that Melina would not do this and then admit to making a mistake. She never admits to mistakes, but this time she did because she knows how dangerous the drug is,” the blonde argued, “but I also know…” 

“Tell me” Natasha leveled the woman with a single gaze, “now.”

“I know that I was not to intentionally know where Barton left,” she started, “but he is loud and I did hear him say that he was going to Argentina.”

It was safest to not let one single person know everything, something Maria had learned from Fury early on. 

“Yeah,” Maria confirmed, “he’s in Argentina.”

“And I know that while Melina would not put another child under subjugation, there is a man who has access to the farm and a liking for white sand beaches with high populations of immigrant Russians.”

“Alexi,” Natasha spoke barely above a whisper. 

“I only just asked Klavdiya to tell me who has been to the farm recently.”