Chapter Text
A world for two
He sincerely considered grocery shopping a personal nightmare. Yet the shelves and the cupboards in his house were empty, and the refrigerator was unable to boast better conditions. So that afternoon, after work, instead of riding straight back home as his tired limbs suggested, he detoured in the direction of the supermarket down the road. He had known all along, after all, that procrastination, had never been neither a successful nor a lasting tactic. Besides, after a whole shift of work and like his currently grumbling stomach was reminding him, he was dying of hunger.
Get in. Take a basket. Grab the things. Put the things in the basket. Pay. And get out.
Over the years he had learned that making a list of actions in his head, helped him calm down. And that was what he did, as the silhouette of the super market got closer. And that was also why bumping into that all of a sudden, when his brain was a beautiful flat line, almost made him fall off the bike.
"Vote the new law for the legal couple. On May 10th, vote yes!”
The sound of brakes screeching on the asphalt startled the passersby.
He snorted. The advertising screen was so big and bright that completely hid the facade of the supermarket. They had been terribly smart to place it there, the absolutely most unavoidable place for anyone. He could bet an identical screen ad was displayed in any other super market or drugstore of the city.
As if the continuous bombardment on the web and on the tv wasn't enough drilling.
He tied his bike to the nearest pole, making sure to give his back to the ridiculous screen, as if the advertisement were a personal offense. According to Jungkook, it was.
He hurried towards the entrance, refusing to make his eyes land on that thing ever again. Grocery shopping was already something he hated, that new development just made it worse.
Jungkook, smile. Do not ever forget to s mile.
The voice of Taehyung echoed in his head as a warning.
“Do you seriously want to get caught so much? Number twos are always smiling, you know that better than me, a number two!” A thirteen year old Taehyung used to scold him. Jungkook had always been a difficult brat and he had been lucky to make friends with Taehyung, a number two that was brave enough to speak like that. Jungkook had never met another one like him. But his best friend has always been one of a kind – free, open minded, unapologetically himself.
With tremendous effort the corners of his mouth lifted up. See Taehyung? I am smiling.
“Good morning!” greeted him the security guard, a total stranger.
“Good morning!” he greeted back, a smile printed on his face. He had rehearsed that smile so many times in front of the mirrors he almost got sick. The public would never have a sincere smile of his after all.
He went to retrieve a basket with leisure, as if there wasn't any worry pending on his head, and with he same light pace, he walked towards the cookies and snacks section.
His smile wavered when he faced the shelves. Except for a lone pack of cookies, all of the other brands and products were packaged in pairs, with a fat glossy printed label that claimed “buy 2, get 1 free!” Jungkook bit the inside of his cheek as he took one of the packaged cookies. He tried to keep it cool, telling himself that meant he wouldn't have need to come back next week to buy them - one less stroll into his personal nightmare.
Yet he met the same situation in almost any other section of the supermarket forcing him to get the cheapest and worst quality brands, the only ones that still produced single packages. He had only a bike as a mean of transport and he couldn't afford to carry too many bags.
Keeping his smile was starting to get more and more difficult. It was to be expected, he begrudgingly told himself.
Since it had been proposed the new law, there had been a crescendo of products and services built and meant only for two. How long would it take to market to finish the remaining single products left? To get rid of anything that was a one person consumption? A chill ran down his back as he exhaled shakily. Not here. Not now. This wasn't the time and the place for a mental break down.
With a basket full of groceries, more than what he actually needed for just himself, he headed for the cash register. He couldn't stand that place any longer. He needed to leave. Now.
Luckily there wasn't anyone in line and he was able to get his things scanned very quickly. But not without receiving a blinding smile from the cashier. He didn't only had to hold back from rolling his eyes but he had to give her one in return as well.
Fucking number twos.
He was finishing putting away his things in the plastic bags, as he waited for his change, when a thrilling jingle coming from the cash register froze him on the spot.
"Oh my god, I can't believe it! Congratulations boy! You are the customer number 2,000!”
The people next to him, started cheering and congratulating him. Jungkook didn't move a single muscle, his fake smile a permanent and creepy mark on his face. A man, who for the looks of him seemed to be the manager, came up to him. He too wore a blinding unbearable smile, and for his big horror, took his hand and shook it. “Congratulations!” he repeated before depositing in his hand a piece of paper. Jungkook looked down, his eyes meeting what looked like a coupon of some sort.
As he took in what it was written, his eyebrows rising high in bewilderment, a funny shaky sound breached his lips. That turned into two, and a couple more. Until it turned into the real sound of maniacal laughter.
He, a number zero, had just won a weekend for two.
On the lucky occasions he didn't have to work part-time on Saturday, Jungkook liked to sleep in and then play video games at home, nice weather or not, yet last week he had promised Taehyung to have breakfast together and so that was no gonna do. He woke up at 10 am then, fairly early for his usual standards, quickly brushed his teeth and dressed even more quickly, and ran out of the house destination the city center coffee shop. He was late by almost half an hour yet he didn't put more effort in his pedaling despite of it.
It wasn't like his best friend was waiting for him alone.
The thing was, that when Taehyung said things like, "let's do this together,” he was always implicitly including his number one.
That's why when he finally arrived, he wasn't surprised to see them sitting at the table by the window. Laughing together and looking cozy.
It's normal, Jungkook. Getting angry is just plain stupid, he told himself. Yet judging by how much it took him to tie the bike, he knew he wasn't doing a good job in reigning his emotions.
He fairly liked the number one of Taehyung. And he was liked as well. However that morning he had hoped Taehyung had understood his need to be just the two of them. Not for the first time Jungkook asked himself if it was really so compulsive the urge to be together for the number twos couple or if it was just the force of habit instilled by a daily brainwashing.
“Jungkook!” they shouted in unison as soon as he crossed the threshold of the coffee shop. Their smiles were genuine, warm, as if they had been wanting for him with exciting impatience.
I am a horrible person. Are all number zeroes horrible people and that's why we are number zeroes?Or am I just a horrible number zero?
“Hey!” he replied, walking past the crowd to get to their table. He felt his lips stretching in one of his rarest sincere smiles. Jungkook had failed, as always, to stay mad at them. And really, Jungkook defied anyone to try and stand in front of those two and keep their anger, because Taehyung and his number one Jung Hoseok probably represented everything that could be beautiful in the number 2’s.
“You are late!" was the first thing Taehyung dramatically exclaimed as soon as he reached their table. Jungkook, completely ignoring his antics, shrugged.
"Jungkook hi, how are you?" Hoseok greeted him, flashing him with one of his huge smiles. Jungkook had to blink a few times before answering. So many years had passed since he had first met Hoseok, yet the brightness that came from any pore of his skin never stopped to be disconcerting at first glance.
"Good?" He answered. He sounded uncertain even to his own ears. Embarrassed, he moved the chair to sit. It painfully squeaked on the floor as if to underline his big fat lie.
The smile of Hoseok faltered.
Emphatic like no other, terribly reserved yet outgoing. Sharp and attentive like only a doctor could be. Even on their first meeting, Jungkook had felt an open book to him as only a person void of any malice and ulterior motives could do. The number one of Kim Taehyung - after all- couldn't have been someone any less special.
His best friend looked at Hoseok who returned his gaze. Then he moved his big dark brown eyes on Jungkook as understanding made his way on his face.
Jungkook returned the look, remembering to smile. But who he wanted to fool, Taehyung had known for quite some time he wasn't doing well.
"Jungkook, coffee and strawberry pastry as always?” Hoseok asked all of a sudden, standing up from his seat.
“Yes? But I can go, don't worry."
"Nah, stay here, I need to go to the toilet anyway so, I'll go,” he said, not letting Jungkook the chance to say otherwise.
That was the way for Hoseok to give them some space and a little of alone time. Jungkook was thankful, yet some part of him couldn't help but want for Hoseok to be even nicer and just leave. He sighed internally.
He had been told how difficult it was for the number 2’s to stay away from each other. They said it wasn't exactly painful but more like an annoying feeling of itching. However when couples stayed separated for longer periods that itching gained strength and could even turn maddening. Or so they said. Jungkook doubted any other number two had every tried to prove the theory, but it was true that for Hoseok and Taehyung, who had spent a long time apart and had just recently reunited, moving, as if there glued with super glue, had become a thing. So he was a ware of the state of things, he should be understanding.
But understanding wasn't something that came natural to number zeroes, wasn't it?
"Jungkook?" Taehyung called him, leaving it up to him the choice of talking or not. He closed his eyes for a long second, and when he reopened, Taehyung was still looking at him with the same limpid gaze.
"I saw an advertisement yesterday,” started Jungkook but suddenly his throat felt dry and his hand closed in a fist. Without hesitation Taehyung's hand covered it.
Don't forget to smile.
It had been a scolding, it had been said in a playful tone, but even back then Jungkook had been able to sense the concern laced in every vowel. He slowly unclenched his fist, until their hands were palm to palm, as if they were consummated lovers seeking comfort from each other. They weren't, and they've never been, yet that never stopped Taehyung, a very physically affectionate person, from doing so. In a way, that had been the only affection that didn't come from his family, Jungkook had ever received.
Taehyung. Flawed Taehyung. Jungkook had a rather long list of quirks and habits that he found annoying in him, yet, possibly his redeeming quality, what somehow would made everyone forgive him all, was the care with which he showered his friends and loved ones.
He took a big breath and continued.
"I was going to the grocery store yesterday, you know, to buy a carton of milk and a bag of cookies, no big deal. I wasn't committing any crime. I never committed any crime. Did you know they put an advertisement display that covers the entire front of the supermarket? ‘On May 10th, vote yes!’” Jungkook repeated with mock cheer. "How do you think I felt?”
A boiling rage lurked from below the surface. It had been accumulating for years, possibly since his high school days and hadn't stopped grown since. It was intense, unpleasant, bold and Jungkook wondered when, when, the exterior facade, that fake smile with which he faced the outside world, would shatter in millions pieces and release the beast. He was sure it would be ugly.
Taehyung intertwined their fingers, squeezing it for real, not to give comfort but with conviction, almost with aggression. You need to believe me.
"You know that I love you, right? That we love you, right?” Jungkook smiled. Of a resigned accepting smile.
Taehyung had never been good at understanding him. Jungkook, for years, had thought it was a lack of effort on his part. Until he understood it wasn't fair of him to punish him for something he honestly wasn't able to do. As a friend Taehyung would feel sorrow for him, but as a number two, he would always lack empathy. In the end though, he wasn't his best friend because he could understand him. No. Taehyung was his best friend because he was not afraid to tell Jungkook when he was wrong. Because he listened, even when he didn't understand. And simply, because he had been, and still was, the best part of his day.
Nevertheless, Jungkook was an even more flawed human being, and despite knowing this, there were still situations where he got frustrated by this inability of Taehyung, who believed love was the cure for everything and seemed convinced that saying, "everything will be fine,” was enough to heal a wound.
"I know,” Jungkook replied with a calm tone, yet retracting his hand.
Taehyung looked hurt by the gesture. The truth was that only number 2's had the right to held hands but Taehyung had taken Jungkook's hands several times, if only to reassure him that he wasn't alone (although technically he was).
Jungkook immediately felt guilty.
“You don't know how many times I wished I could fix this world of us, Jungkook, you don't know how many times, but I cannot. But even though I'm incapable, I trust you. You were the one who said a label can't decide whether we are happy or not, and I think you are right. No, I know you are right. And I know you stand on your words. So, don't do anything stupid ok? Don't let anger hinder your path to happiness.”
Jungkook wanted to say ‘easy for you to say,’ but Taehyung was right. They made a promise years ago that Taehyung would never abandon him, it didn't matter if Jungkook wasn't his number one he just wouldn't, whereas Jungkook would show the whole world how much you could be happy being a number zero .
God. They were only ten years old then.
"You say it like it was something possible,"Jungkook finally answered, looking away but genuinely smiling.
“Happiness?”
“No!Me not doing anything stupid, of course!”
“I think neither if us ever shined for cleverness!” Taehyung replied in between laughter.
"This is totally unfair! I go away and you start the fun?”interrupted Hoseok, materializing behind Jungkook. If anything that made them sneeze wilder.
“Here your coffee and strawberry cake, Jungkook. And Taehyung, I brought you another muffin even though seeing like you are having fun without me, I guess it's totally undeserved. To think it was the last with blueberries left and I had to fight with an old woman to get it!”
Taehyung's laughter stopped abruptly, leaving place instead to a sickeningly adoring smile.
"Thank you!" he exclaimed delighted.
When Hoseok sat down next to him, Jungkook was sure the two were holding hands under the table.
Awe. Admiration. Longing. Envy. There was plenty of room in his heart for all those emotions and Jungkook forced himself to swallow it all down.
Taehyung and Hoseok were far from being one of those awful pairs of number 2's all kisses and caresses, whose aim in life seemed to be able to flaunt their status at every turn. Jungkook had never seen them kissing or hugging, and the most romantic thing they had ever done in his presence, had been holding hands.
Yet every time Taehyung looked at Hoseok and Hoseok looked back at him, it was like the dawn flare in a dark night.
Jungkook knew he would never have anything like that. He had accepted it, really. Unlike many number zeroes that committed suicide or got into arranged marriages between zeroes, Jungkook was able to live alone.
He wanted to live alone.
He had decided with force and with tears, that if he was destined to a life of loneliness, it would be a great life. That people could consider him less, but no one could ever strip him of himself. Of his ambitions and dreams.
He would have a life full of goals to be achieved. A fulfilling life.
He was ready. He was pleased.
That was why he would never be ready to be deprived by a stupid law of what he had left, the choice of staying alone.
On May 10th, vote yes!
Jimin read on the flyer a volunteer had given him. He expected to turn the corner and be out of sight, before crumpling it up and throwing it away. It doesn't change anything, he thought.
This law wouldn't change anything, especially for the better. After all, he was and would always be a number zero.
His mother came from a family of number zeroes, so when Jimin was born and was soon assigned the status of a number zero, his parents had been sad, but not surprised.
There was a 25% chance that the second child of parents with direct number zeroes family members, inherited the feature. His parents had been prepared for this possibility since their time of their union.
Twenty six years had passed and Jimin had still to get used to the idea.
Proposal
1: All zeroes of marriageable age (+18), if not by their choice, by state designation, will marry before reaching 25 years of age.
2: All zeroes will live in a zero zone and will have services and schools suited to satisfy their requirements.
Jimin had refused to keep reading any further. It made him sick to the stomach, but as his parents hadn't been by their turn of events, he wasn't surprised by this one as well.
Number zeroes were already being discriminated. This proposed new law gave people the right to do it.
The number 2’s had created a peaceful society without distinction of race, creed, color and sexual orientation. The community was living in harmony. The world had shown perfect peace was possible. But the truth was, that the perfect peace and the perfect world applied only to the perfect people: the number twos.
Not everyone was meant to be a number 2, however.
Yes, the holy algorithm over which the worldwide system was build, had eliminated a huge amount of problems. It had created others though: the number zeroes.
The decision to call them that way, was in itself offensive, as if not being number 2’s meant being equal to be nothing. The number 2's campaign insisted that they had eliminated the differences because love was made available to everyone. Of all those who were destined to have a soulmate at least. Only if you had a soulmate you could be happy. Only if you had a soulmate, you had achieved your purpose in society. Jimin understood, because humans weren't plants and they weren't made to live alone. But unfortunately, as it was impossible to have an even number of humans on earth, so was to have everyone paired up. This gap, this unfulfilled void, were the number zeroes.
So you were born as a number zero, or you were born as a number one. Only the number ones were fated to become two and they did it by meeting their soulmates, the other part of the addition.
Whereas an addition between zeroes would always be equal to nothingness.
Zero.
Jimin closed his eyes.
Sometimes he felt it, as if it was tangible. An infinite sequence of zeros behind his eyelids, the weight of nothingness on his shoulder. He had learn void could be rather heavy.
It was not fair, he had cried in the nights after a bad breakup. It was not fair. Jimin didn't care if he was a zero. He simply wanted to love and be loved. It's enough , he thought. It would have been enough. However, given the discrimination number zeroes already suffered, they certainly didn't feel encourage to do coming out of their status.
Most of them, if not everyone, tried to integrate into a society built to repel them, and pretended to be something they were not. Sometimes were the parents of the number zeroes who arranged marriages between their kids and forced their sons and daughters to live a life of lies, sometimes were the zeroes themselves seeking a way to escape loneliness, no matter if there wasn't love (when the pressure wasn't too much and didn't drive them instead to madness or death).
So for zeroes like Jimin, who somehow sought a real bond, it was hard, almost impossible, not only to bump into zeroes willing to build something genuine, but to bump into zeroes, that admitted their status, at all. His peers, and himself as well, certainly didn't go around carrying a sign with the number zero written in large letters pinned on their chest.
And, after all, luck was never on his side. He happened to be in the 25%, and Jimin obviously had done nothing but fall in love with number 1’s that had a soulmate, since he was able to understand what love was.
It hurt. Every damn time.
So when his parents had come to visit him that day, announcing his engagement, Jimin felt relief. He was twenty six years old and he was about to turn twenty seven. He had reached the point where he was not ashamed to admit that he wanted company. The company of anyone.
His mother, seated in the living room couch, was holding her cup of tea rather harshly and kept stealing worried glances at him; his father, instead, looked stoic and impassible, as if he long ago braced for any reaction Jimin would give.
"Okay," Jimin said startling them both. Jimin almost took pity of them.
He wasn't sad and neither he was angry. Jimin had always known he would never be like his older brother, he would never help his father in the business, or start a family with lots of dogs, three daughters and a beach house. That destiny has disappeared with the test result of his status. Yet his parent had loved him fiercely even if he was a number zero, or maybe even more because of that. It was logical then that they had seen, with growing concern, the condition of number zero of Jimin and were trying to provide for him one last time him before the government took away from them even that choice.
His parents were sensible and loving people, he trust they had definitely chosen someone suitable, he told himself. Yet his fingers were trembling, and his tea had long gone cold.
"You will like him, I'm sure. He's young, smart. Talented. If you ask me, also very attractive." His mother said, attempting a cheerful tone. Jimin cocked his head. She looked sincere, but she was also rather tense, unlike his father whose relief for Jimin's positive response was almost palpable.
Jimin couldn't blame him. In the past, Jimin had had quite the temper and quite the rebellious character.
"Young?" Jimin asked all of sudden. His mother wouldn't say that just so causally, there must be something hidden in there. He broke in sweat. Please let him be at least twenty, Jimin mentally pleaded. He could bring himself to accept that his parents choose a companion for him, but not a brat fresh out of high school who didn't know the meaning of manners. His life was ridiculous already as it was.
"Twenty two," his father said. "But I know his father, and I know the boy. He's really smart."
"He's a good guy,” his mother added.
So his partner would be a twenty two year old guy. It could be worse, could t' be?
Jimin vaguely wondered if this was how the number 2’s felt when it was revealed to them their soul mate's identity. This sense of dooming mixed with a painful sense of excitement and fear.
It couldn't be.
Theirs were the real fairy tale, whereas his was the harsh reality.
"Dad, Mom, I understand, and I agree with your decision. I'm twenty six after all… I understand."
Jimin wanted to bring up the new law, wanted to ask them if they really thought it was going to end like that, but did not want to hurt his parents.
The ‘if not by their choice by state designation,’ still rang in his head as if he had the flyer under his hands.
They had wanted to spare him much worse, they had wanted to protect him now that they could before it was too late.
“Thank you,” he said and it felt heavy on them all.
"Good! I guess you want to know everything about your partner," his mother tried again with a cheerful tone even when her features were laced with sadness. But she tried, for him, to stay positive despite all.
Once, he had thought he had inherited that trait from her.
"Of course, what's his name?"
That night, Jungkook went back to the supermarket and threw a stone, smashing the big screen. But his satisfaction was short lived. Just the time of a half-smile before the alarm cut the silence of the night.
Jungkook, scared as hell, fled as quickly as possible from there liquid fear rushing in his veins He didn't stop until he reached his apartment even though his muscles hurt and his lungs screamed in pain.
Once safe behind the main door, Jungkook let himself slide to the ground.
As soon as his knees touched the floor he was shaken by violent spasms of endless laughter, so violent that his eyes grew moist from exertion.
So violent that tears began to line his face.
Don't do anything stupid ok?
Taehyung would kill him.