Archive of Our Own

“Thank you for the hard work!” 

The five of them bow in unison as the staffs continue to pat them lightly on their backs and whisper ‘You guys did well!’, ‘ Congratulations!’, and ‘Fighting!’. It was the last day of their promotions for the album, The Chaos Chapter: Freeze, and surprisingly, their title track— which has been getting attention because of another out-of-this-world title and undeniably unique sound— 0X1=Lovesong, won their last 1st place award in a music show. 

Of course, they threw a celebration, the reason why the company staffs are now walking out of their dorm and the said place has been left with bottles of soju, beer, chicken buckets from the nearest chicken place, and boxes of pizzas. 

When the last staff finally closed their door, Yeonjun immediately went to the living room to try and help with cleaning with Taehyun. On a daily basis, you wouldn’t catch Yeonjun cleaning his own room, more so the dorm’s common area, but it was a different day today. 

He was in a good mood. He smiles as he picks up the used cups on the floor, remembering how happy they were earlier when they heard ‘ Tomorrow By Together! Congratulations! ’. It’s like Yeonjun is being reminded of the reason why he wanted this dream in the first place— the adrenaline, the slight anxiousness while waiting for their name to come out of the hosts' lips, the little jumps and gasps they make, and the smile Beomgyu gives him. 

Wait, what?

“Yeonjun-hyung!” 

Startled, he stood up straight quickly with the stack of cups still intact in his hand. Taehyun looks at him and shakes his head, while the other three looked at him expectantly. Have they been calling him a few times now? Yeonjun just mouthed a what in return, shifting his gaze at Beomgyu, who’s holding 5 soju bottles in his arms near the refrigerator.  It looks like he was having a hard time, his eyes focused on the bottles he was trying to balance.

“I told you, hyung’s going crazy, he’s been smiling there. While cleaning,” Kai explains to Soobin who just sighed and patted the former’s back. 

“I asked if you’re staying up with us. You know, we don’t have anything for tomorrow,” Soobin says as they all continue doing whatever they were doing before.

The eldest sprinted to the small kitchen to throw everything he was holding, passing by Beomgyu who was still trying to add another bottle to his already full arms. What is he even trying to do? And since when did they have that much soju in their fridge? Yeonjun knows nothing.

“Of course, why are you even asking,” he answers in a hurry, grabbing three bottles from Beomgyu’s arms from the latter’s behind. 

Oh, wow. Beomgyu smells like the strawberry-lemon cotton candy sweet whatever thing shampoo he recently bought. And the scent is so strong— he must be so close— but the real question is why is Yeonjun getting nervous? He’s his friend. A close friend, even. 

Crush? What crush? Never. He knows Beomgyu will never see him that way, not that he will have a crush on him when he sees him in that way.

So, it doesn’t really matter when Beomgyu shyly whispers, “Thanks, hyung.” at him. Literally. Literally feel Beomgyu’s breath fan across his face. He could see the younger one’s pupils dilate, and are those pink dust coloring his cheeks? Yeonjun shakes his head internally. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t really matter that his heart is pounding because of their proximity that in one accidental external force input on Yeonjun can push him further into his, in a quite literal sense, closest friend. 

Beomgyu blinks at him— one, two —before the eldest finally snaps out of it.

“Because I don’t want to just assume things I’m not sure about?”

Damn. 

He forgot he was talking to Soobin. 

Yeonjun just scoffed as he tries to ignore Beomgyu’s lingering presence beside him as they bring the bottles to the living room. 

He didn’t answer Soobin. Yeonjun reasons, he’s just letting Soobin win tonight because he’s the leader and the team wouldn’t have won the award today if it weren’t for his skills. Yes, Yeonjun might bicker with Soobin with passion on and off the camera, but he is aware and thankful for Soobin’s existence. No, he’s not saying this to distract himself from the fact that Soobin’s previous words unintentionally poked his heart. Nope.

The living room looks decent now, with their everyday table cleaned by Kai is now filled with the leftover pizzas, chickens, and the soju bottles they have brought. They started drinking almost immediately like this was something they’d been doing in the past, which is true. The five of them surrounding the small table and enjoying each other’s company is something they’ll do over and over again, falling back in the same spaces naturally.

After a moment of silence, a comfortable one, Soobin shares a thought loudly. 

“I’m really happy we won in Music Bank,” he gulps, “Like during my term there.”

Yeonjun smiles, the other three also mirroring Soobin’s genuine smile. It’s not that being sentimental while drinking is a rare thing for them. Heck, they even cried one time and it was the only time they chose to eat and drink outside. The point is if this conversation stirs to the sentimental, emotional route, Yeonjun is ready for it. To share or to cry, he’s prepared for both.

“Do you want us to cry right now?” Beomgyu smacks Soobin’s arm, the older one groaning and furrowing his eyebrows at the former, who’s smiling sheepishly at him.

The other three laugh at the two. They’re used to it, and most of the time, they know to themselves that it’s just a joke, like right now, Beomgyu proceeds to cling to Soobin’s arm and rests his head there. Yeonjun continues to put up his smile.

Soobin continues to drink from his small glass, replying, “I’m just putting it out here, dude. I think it fits the mood.”

“We’re happy, too, hyungie. It was your wish, right,” Kai says in a cute tone he always uses at Soobin. It did work because Soobin chuckled and proceeded to extend his free arm, the one not being clung on by Choi Beomgyu, to ruffle the youngest’s fluffy hair.

They fall into silence again. Yeonjun leans back at the wall behind him, secretly glancing at Beomgyu, who was sitting diagonally from him. It was a secret because Yeonjun has that weird feeling in his heart that he cannot look at Beomgyu if he’s already looking at him. Or if everyone can see him staring. He swears that because it’s not like he’s into Beomgyu that much. 

Is it still a secret if its purpose was already destroyed the moment Yeonjun looks at him and he’s already looking? Head tilted on Soobin’s shoulders, lips resting on the rim of the small glass he’s holding, Beomgyu’s eyes are already on him.

He’s helpless. It’s a silent game they’re both playing and Yeonjun can’t ask for a lifeline.

But the universe favored him, finally, by making Taehyun speak, giving Yeonjun the chance to gulp and cough the moment Taehyun’s voice echoed in the small room. 

“Are you sad that it’s ending?” It was a question directed at Soobin— very obvious because Taehyun looks at Soobin like he’s the only man in the room. Yeonjun guesses that Taehyun finds Soobin very interesting that night.

“The promotions or the MC-ing?”

Taehyun smiles. “The latter. I know we’re all slightly happy to get some rest.” 

“I’ll miss it for sure. But it can get tiring, talking to different people, you know? It gets draining, especially during comeback season,” Soobin plays with the glass he’s holding, circling it in the air as he thinks of something to add to his statement, “But…. actually, there is a big but.”

“My butt?” Yeonjun chuckles at how fast Beomgyu is to reply. Like, he’s been waiting for that moment, and even without looking, he knows how big Beomgyu is smiling right now.

Soobin, finally, pushes Beomgyu’s body, breaking any physical body contact before saying, “Oh shut up.”

Beomgyu laughs loudly, it was the only thing that Yeonjun could hear. At least for him, he’s not sure about the ears of the others. 

“The dating rumors make up for it. Arin-noona knows a lot. I swear, a lot of unexpected flings and couples.”

Beomgyu dramatically gasps, “And you didn’t even share?” 

“It’s a Music Bank MC benefit. You don’t get to know shit.” 

Beomgyu rolls his eyes before eating the pizza Kai offered him as a way to shut himself. He’s cute, Yeonjun wants to say but he doesn’t, so he just blurted out a question to continue their topic. It’s interesting because even for someone as friendly as Yeonjun, he doesn’t know a lot about what goes on in the dating culture of idols. Because contrary to his vibe and the rumors that go around about him, Yeonjun doesn’t date or develop flings. He’s just there, having everything but a boyfriend. Or girlfriend. 

“To think about it, we haven’t had a dating rumor since debut. Do you think people think we’re bitchless?” Yeonjun takes a chicken leg and munched it.

“Just you. Don’t include us in your misery.” He threw Taehyun a side-eye, Yeonjun even went as far to acting like he’s threatening to attack him. Taehyun just laughed at him, leaving the eldest no choice but to smile.

As they were too busy eating and playing around, Kai asks the most important question of all. Honestly, he should be praised for creating such a clever question that will leave everyone at the edge of their seats.

“Have you heard if there are members who date within the group?”

Soobin gulps before chuckling almost nervously in Yeonjun’s eyes. But there’s nothing to be nervous about for Soobin, so he shrugs it off. 

“Yeah. Pretty common.”

Beomgyu clapped his hands, looking like a happy seal, excited and engaged in the topic that should make them awkward. 

“Oh my god, imagine if someone dates within us. Who do you think it will be?” He glances playfully at Soobin, wiggling his eyebrows, but they didn’t have time to dwell on that because Taehyun and Kai said the same answer at the same time. 

It was so fast that Yeonjun wasn’t even given a time to think about his answer. Soobin and Beomgyu? Kai and Soobin? Taehyun and Kai? Or him and…. 

“You and Yeonjun-hyung.”

Soobin have never laughed so loud that night, while the two youngests proceed to smirk at Yeonjun, who’s sitting there, wide eyed, and Beomgyu, who’s groaning and covering his already reddening face. 

Beomgyu blurts out loudly, “Yuck? Ew!” 

Oh. 

That didn’t hurt. His heart nor his ego didn’t hurt, Yeonjun repeated in his head. For the first time in Yeonjun's 22 years of life, someone was disgusted for being teased with him. Usually, people would be okay with it, exhilarated that someone like Yeonjun—who has a perfect face, perfect body, amazing voice, graceful movements, godly rapping, tall as hell, basically men and women’s dream— is being teased with them. 

As a joke or not,  Beomgyu’s reaction on this topic was as fast as the speed of light. Meaning that is his initial reaction to the thought of being with Yeonjun. Definitely not wrecking Yeonjun’s ego after his heart acted as a traitor earlier in the kitchen. 

Another question from Taehyun came out before Yeonjun could even sink in the most unbelievable thing that was happening a few seconds ago.

“Who would you rather have a rumor with, then?” 

“Mhm,” Beomgyu stops and looks beside him, “Soobinie-hyung.” 

The said boy makes a gagging noise. Taehyun says ew, while Kai and Beomgyu is having the time of their lives laughing at everyone’s reaction. Yeonjun stays there, muting everyone in his mind, setting the thought that the reason why Beomgyu was wriggling his eyebrows at Soobin earlier is that they might be dating, as he tilted his head with furrowed eyebrows before looking directly at Beomgyu.

He asks without thinking, “Why not me?”

The room falls silent. 4 pairs of eyes land on him, nobody making a sound as they give all their attention to him. 

It dawned on Yeonjun how weird he is right now, how he’s losing his head over a reaction Beomgyu probably doesn’t mean consciously (Subconsciously, yes, Yeonjun thinks.). The eldest tried to chuckle to save himself, only for it to come out as awkward as you can imagine. 

Good god, Yeonjun just wants to choke on a chicken bone right now.

“Why not, Beomgyu-ya?” Yeonjun leaned towards the table as he rests his hand on it, an obvious attempt to look composed and unfazed, “I just wanna know why you reacted that way.”

“Okay,” the younger one murmurs. 

Yeonjun stares at Beomgyu while the latter clears his throat, fixes his posture, and tucks his hair behind his one ear— he’s doing everything to think of a proper reason. The atmosphere among them definitely shifted as the other 3 friends just alternately look at the two.

Beomgyu, then, sighs.

“You look like a walking red flag, hyung.” 

Yeonjun freezes.

“What?”

“What do you mean what? You look like a red flag.”

Someone among the other spectators made a noise, the noise you make when you accidentally laughed at the most serious situation without thinking so you had to stop it midway. That noise should irritate Yeonjun, how everyone has the urge to laugh at him, instead of with him, because of what Beomgyu said. But it didn’t because he doesn’t even know what red flag means.

He shouldn’t really take it seriously, knowing there is alcohol down in their bloodstream, Beomgyu probably didn’t mean it. Or he does because alcohol unveils the truth most of the time. 

Either way, Yeonjun is not happy. But he couldn’t show that it’s unreasonable to act childish and cry over some teasing during a drinking session with your friends. If he was the spectator, watching one of his close friends get insulted by the crush they deny, Yeonjun would’ve laughed, too.

“Oh.” Yeonjun nods, grabs the bottle of soju in front of him, and downs it. 

When he noticed everyone’s still silent, they are like walking on eggshells because of Yeonjun’s prior reaction, so he did what he had to, Yeonjun laughs. Was it fake? He’s not sure. They laugh, following the eldest, especially Beomgyu, whose face is red as a strawberry, and yeah, Yeonjun concluded the boy’s tipsy and he’s just overreacting.

The group brought up the conversation of Yeonjun being a red flag again a few minutes before they got up. He realized this is something that’s not gonna die soon. Yeonjun will have to live with months of teasing because of Beomgyu’s words that he couldn’t even understand and grasp how the younger formed that notion. 

Internally, he shakes his head and ended his monologue. Yeonjun, like the mature person that he is, tries to laugh along, brushes it off his pissed-off heart, and promises to move on from it. 

Because, really, he’s not that into Beomgyu. Like how his rapid heartbeat in the kitchen didn’t matter, Beomgyu’s perception of Yeonjun being his potential boyfriend doesn’t matter, too. Yeonjun swears that to all his ancestors, and when he swears, he never takes it back.

🚩

Okay, Yeonjun takes that back. 

He’s not fucking with his ancestors right now, he said that with a crossed finger because he knows this is something serious.

How can Yeonjun say this is something serious? That he can explain. From the moment he locked himself in his room with the intention to rest, did his skincare routine, and brushed his teeth, until the moment he already has his eyes closed and comfortable in his bed, Beomgyu’s words continue to repeat in his head like a fucking song he’s addicted to.

Except it’s not a song he wants to sing. It’s Beomgyu’s voice, something that endears him, saying something so damn annoying.

You look like a walking red flag, hyung.

What the fuck does that suppose to mean? What is a red flag? Does he look like a dangerous person? Is that how Beomgyu perceives him after all these years of spending time with him? But half of those are Yeonjun doing everything to treat him like he’s a damn royalty? 

For the life of everyone, Yeonjun just cannot wrap his head around it because he has never done anything to Beomgyu to cause him to think that way. At least not that he could think of. Does Beomgyu hate the bickering? But if he does, then, why is he not talking to Yeonjun about it? Oh God,  does he think of Yeonjun as a big, scary, intimidating person that will never listen to any of his thoughts?

Yeonjun, after keeping it all inside, buries his head on his pillow, groans, and eventually, yells at it. If the Taehyun and Kai complain the next morning about noises, he’s not gonna feel guilty about it. He needed that.

After a few minutes of contemplation, Yeonjun just found himself reaching for his phone that was already kept inside the drawer of his nightstand. From there, you could imagine what he did. He knows he won’t be able to sleep at this rate, so, might as well just fix this whole problem now.

Yeonjun messaged Beomgyu. Yes, he wasn’t thinking straight, not like he’s straight in the first place. It’s not like messaging Beomgyu—his bandmate and a friend for 5 years now— is nerve-racking to him. It doesn’t matter, he repeats in his head. He doesn’t like him that way, a phrase that’s getting annoying to him now. 

To Yeonjun’s surprise, Beomgyu replied within a minute of him sending it. Looks like it’s gonna be a long night.

Right. If Beomgyu’s opinion doesn’t make him sleep tonight, sure. It really doesn’t matter.

The image was a screenshot from Beomgyu’s notes app, containing every reason why he thinks Yeonjun is a walking red flag. It’s a long list, including the rambling Beomgyu typed, probably also because of his tipsiness right now assuming he just wrote this. Instead of being upset and confused, the elder, unsurprisingly, smiles in the dark corner of his room, thinking— Beomgyu wrote all of this….. Thinking about me?

Finally, Yeonjun got his peace of mind. Not because Beomgyu doesn't think of him as a red flag anymore, but because Yeonjun has a chance to prove himself now. And im not scared btw LMAO is like a green signal for Yeonjun to plan a mission to change Beomgyu's mind. He doesn't know why he's persistent in pursuing this, but after he turns off his phone, and plans on how he's gonna execute his master plan, Yeonjun smiles, thinking about the reactions he might pull out of the younger one. Cute, he thinks.

Turning his irritation into something productive (Yes, anything that involves Beomgyu is productivity, according to Yeonjun's laws.)? This is going to be fun.

🚩

Everyone slept in the next morning and only woke up at lunch time. Crankiness was nowhere to be found in the emotional box of Yeonjun even though he didn’t sleep that well thinking about what he should do to start his silly little missions. 

Yeonjun grins as he helps in setting the table, thinking about spending some time with Beomgyu today and doing nothing else. It’s very ironic how Yeonjun and Beomgyu are in the same space every day, 24/7 and yet the former couldn’t even remember the last time they watched a movie together, at the cinema or at home.

So, Yeonjun has an acceptable reason to be happy thinking about it. It’s not just because it’s Beomgyu.

And speaking of the devil, he shall come, or something like that, the door opened, and they all know who it is because everyone is up but him.

For the second time that day, Yeonjun smiles because of the same person.

“Good afternoon, Gyu-ya, did you sleep well?”

Beomgyu stood there by the living room, his gray hoodie hanging loosely over his shoulders, hair still disheveled, and face puffy. The eldest swallowed down a squeal when he realized Beomgyu looks like a puppy. The younger one will never let that down if Yeonjun did squeal over how cute he is because that is a behavior of a whipped person. That is not who Yeonjun is.

“Afternoon.” He tilted his head a little before nodding, confused by how odd Yeonjun is acting. Yeonjun doesn’t greet them every day, only when he had a really good sleep. Which Beomgyu doubts because they slept way beyond the time people would consider their perfect bedtime.

The others are too busy to notice the weird conversation as they all proceeded to sit and eat the lunch Taehyun and Soobin have prepared. Well, it’s nothing fancy, it’s just the leftover fried chicken and some omelet. There was really nothing to talk about and that’s Yeonjun’s first problem today.

He realized he needs perfect timing to ask Beomgyu, which he didn’t get when they were eating. Very funny, because why can’t he just casually ask him, Hey Beomgyu-ya, you wanna watch movies with me today, without having the need to plan it all out like a normal friend? Yeonjun doesn’t want to answer that.

“What are your plans today guys,” he finally asks after lunch, making it as normal as possible as he flops down beside Beomgyu on the couch.

He was planning to face Beomgyu, ask him about having a movie marathon, and move on to his next phase of the mission, but Kai just had to throw himself in the middle of the two, his arms landing on Yeonjun and Beomgyu, just before the eldest could open his mouth.

“I wanna go to the mall,” Kai whines, his voice echoing in the small space between Yeonjun and Beomgyu.

Yeonjun wraps his arm around Kai. Beomgyu wraps his arm around him, too. The former turns to look at them and wow, they’re very close (Not that it matters, duh.). Indeed, they are because Yeonjun can feel Beomgyu’s hand lingering there near his abdomen, which he assumes Beomgyu could feel and see, too, with Yeonjun’s hand on the other side.

Yeonjun tried to ignore it. This is normal. They’ve hugged like this.

The youngest suddenly gets out of that position, head looking up at them and eyes twinkling.

“Will my favorite hyungs go with me?”

Somewhere in the dorm, Soobin says something along the lines of him being able to hear Kai, but nobody really understood it because he’s inside the restroom. Taehyun is sitting at the floor, too busy watching something on his phone to add to the conversation. On the other hand, Beomgyu lets out a chuckle, his head slightly hitting the back of the couch before he removes the grip Huening has on his body. Yeonjun copies him and did the same.

Beomgyu looks at Kai. “What is up with you?”

“It’s been a while since the last time we went out. Like the five of us.”

“We went out yesterday,” Yeonjun chimes in mindlessly, looking at the television screen in his front view.

“That’s a music show. I’m talking about the mall— are you even listening, hyung?”

Beomgyu turned to look at Yeonjun with intense eyes, which softens once the latter turns his head to him, realizing that Yeonjun has a hint of hesitation bearing in his eyes. Yeonjun tried all his might to tell Beomgyu something through their telepathic conversation because of course, he doesn’t want to go out and he doesn’t want Beomgyu to go out (Well, unless he wants to be there, Yeonjun has no right to stop him.) or else he must do his plan in another day.

He nods at Yeonjun, trying to be as subtle as possible as Kai took the space in between them properly.

“I don’t know, I’m kinda tired to go out today,” Yeonjun finally says as he leans more at the back of the couch.

The youngest just diverted his attention to Beomgyu, giving him those expectant eyes that made Beomgyu panic and stutter a bit as he looks at Yeonjun, who was already staring at him. Beomgyu returns his glance at Kai and answered.

“Oh yeah, me? I’m also tired, Kai-yah. Body aches and stuff,” Kai continues to stare at him, “And you know, hangover. Kind of.”

Suspiciousness is the only word in the English dictionary that can describe the alternate, accusing glance of Kai to them. He looks at Yeonjun, then Beomgyu, and then Yeonjun, and then Beomgyu. Hell, now they know what he’s thinking and it’s not a good one.

Kai makes O-shaped lips, “Are you guys trying to stay here and be alone together? ‘Cause I don’t think that’s a bad idea. I actually kinda like it. Maybe you guys will—”

“No!” Beomgyu yells, “You know what, I’ll go. I’ll—”

A finger was held up against Beomgyu’s lips.

“I don’t want you to go anymore. I have Taehyunnie and Soobin-hyung. It’s a great idea that you and this hyung right here,” Kai points at Yeonjun, “will be spending more time together. That’s what best friends do when the other one doesn’t feel like going out right? You stay and be with them.” He smiles sweetly.

A little too sweet for Beomgyu and Yeonjun’s liking as he hops his way to his room after that. Taehyun only looked at them with narrow eyes as he stood up and followed the youngest.

The two were indeed left alone and it only sunk in when Yeonjun turned off his phone, his best friend ever since Kai and Taehyun walked away. Beomgyu is still on his phone, watching some car race game the others never really understood.

“So,” Yeonjun says, prolonging the letter o.

Beomgyu looks up at him from his phone. It’s impossible to not get Beomgyu’s attention when he broke the silence in the room like that.

He’s still in the oversized hoodie that makes him look tiny and his fetal position on the sofa is not helping Beomgyu look bigger at all.

Like stunned by Beomgyu’s round eyes, Yeonjun just looks at him straight in the eyes.

Beomgyu smirks. “What? You’ll stare at me until they come back?”

Well, it’s not like Yeonjun is not capable of doing that. In fact, he is the most qualified and competent person to that. He’s basically a master, a PHD holder of Staring at Beomgyu Degree.

The smirk Beomgyu has quickly faded when he realized the older one can do it all day as he continues to stare at him in the next seconds, his gaze boring into Beomgyu’s eyes.

“Stop it, hyung. Just say it,” says Beomgyu as he puts his hood onto his head and held his hands in front of his face to cover up the blush Yeonjun didn’t fail to see. It was pretty obvious.

Yeonjun smiles, tilting his body to fully face Beomgyu on the sofa.

“Movie marathon?”

“You wanted to stay….” The younger one pauses, “To watch movies with me?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

Yeonjun shifted his gaze below Beomgyu and sees the way he plays with his own fingers, a habit he does when he’s anxious or nervous. Why would he feel either in this moment? Yeonjun should be the one who’s anxious or nervous right now and not him.

“No, it’s just that we have different tastes in movies. Wouldn’t we have a hard time choosing what to watch?” He rests his head down at the back of the couch and looks up at Yeonjun.

His cheeks are still colored with a tint of pink and Yeonjun has no other thoughts but to fondle them. But that would be weird. That’s weird if he gave in to the demon’s request, so he just shakes his head, fondly smiling down at Beomgyu as he answers.

“You can choose whatever you want.”

“Really?”

Yeonjun nods.

“I told you I’m not a red flag.”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes at him before standing up and walking his way to the kitchen, but then, he stops halfway and looks back at Yeonjun, who’s still looking at him from the couch.

“We’re watching Kimi No Nawa,” he exclaimed before jogging to the kitchen.

A burst of maniac-like laughter came out of Beomgyu’s mouth next. Yeonjun groans, but it’s a weird one because the muscles on his face can’t help but put on an ear-to-ear smile as he does it.

🚩

“This is stupid.”

As soon as the credits scene started rolling, these 3 words were the first to leave past Yeonjun’s lips. Beomgyu, on the other hand, only turned his head to Yeonjun and gave him a huge slap on the arm, earning an Ouch! from the elder.

“I know, that’s why I’m crying!” He uses the sleeves of his sweater to wipe the tears coming out of his eyes.

When Yeonjun looked at him, Beomgyu’s round pinkish nose was the first thing he noticed, and it was a pretty sight. Beomgyu crying, he means. And he knows it’s another weird thought if he starts thinking too much about the glistening lashes and glowing skin because of his tears, so Yeonjun decided to shrug it all off (It wasn’t easy.) and tries to comfort his friend.

By comfort meaning reaching out an arm and wrapping it around Beomgyu’s shoulder, pulling him a bit closer to him. The said boy didn’t react and continued to pour all his feelings for his favorite movie. He’s adorable like this, Yeonjun says inside his head.

“They met up again in the end, right? It’s not like they lost each other forever.”

“Hyung, I’m crying because the music is so good, okay? The aesthetics are good. And it’s an open ending, they literally didn’t get to say their name if you think about it,” he explains before leaning more into Yeonjun’s space, resting his headlight on his shoulder.

Yeonjun breathes in. He’s not panicking. Why would he panic by how close they are? They’ve done this, okay? And it’s not like he’s that touch-deprived to lose his shit over close contact with Beomgyu.

Proving that he can touch Beomgyu without any malice, he slowly removes Beomgyu’s hood, and cards his fingers through the younger one’s long hair.

“Open endings mean it’s up to the audience’s imagination. In my head, they lived happily ever after. They probably have kids somewhere in Nagoya or something,” Yeonjun says, calmly stroking the hair in his hand.

Beomgyu moves his head up to look at him. With this proximity, he could see the lines of Beomgyu’s lips as he pouts at him. He could see how many eyelashes Beomgyu possess. And he could see Beomgyu’s cute nose. The cutest nose he has ever seen that all he wants to do is put a kiss on it.

But Yeonjun still has the power to fight off those kinds of thoughts and only proceeded to remove the remnants of Beomgyu’s cries on the latter’s cheeks with his free hand.

He whispers, “There, there. It’s magical, okay, I agree. I know why you love it so much.”

“Why, then?”

“It’s your vibe.” Yeonjun smiles down at him awkwardly. “Magical, you know, like you.”

Beomgyu chuckles, tilting his head away to raise an eyebrow at him.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

It’s a question meant to tease the elder and Yeonjun knows that tone very well. It’s a question meant to see if he’s going to give in and give Beomgyu the boost of ego that he wants.

“I changed my mind. It’s because it’s stupid like you. Putting I love you instead of their name? Very Beomgyu thing if you ask me.”

An Ouch! was punched out of Yeonjun’s lungs again as Beomgyu lands his fist on his chest. Beomgyu has this habit of putting physical force on him whenever he gets teased. If not physical force, a very concerning scream is his second option. Yeonjun doesn’t know which one he prefers.

Beomgyu scoffs. “You have never been in love. You will never get Taki-kun.”

“And you have?”

Yeonjun raises a brow at him and the look on the younger’s face was too funny to not make Yeonjun chortle. Bored eyes, furrowed eyebrows, pouted lips- God the pout never leaves his face, does it? Beomgyu only rolled his eyes at him, avoiding the question like it was a random interviewer’s question to them.

If Yeonjun’s being honest, he’s glad Beomgyu didn’t answer with a confident yes or no. If he answered yes, then who? If he answered no, then why? Either way, Yeonjun has a question for him that may or may not ruin the friendship they have established all through the years.

“You want to watch more?”

Beomgyu, then, stretches his body out of Yeonjun’s hold. He’s numbing Yeonjun’s body, anyway, so he definitely doesn’t care if they’re too far now. Well, he does but it doesn’t matter now when Beomgyu is looking at him with expectant eyes because he’s taking too long to answer.

“Yeah, we’re watching Iron Man.” Beomgyu whines, even going as far as dramatically falling down on the couch. “Give it a chance, Beomgyu-ah.”

“Okay, fine. You’re getting more popcorn.”

Yeonjun stands up with a smirk on his face, too smug to even react as he blasted off to take more popcorn in the kitchen.

This must be one of his favorite day-offs. There’s nothing getting off track. There’s nothing making him upset and even watched something out of his choice of movies. And he felt like he did get closer to Beomgyu despite the awkward ice breaker earlier.

Yeonjun nods, agreeing to his thoughts physically as he walks and plops down next to Beomgyu, ready to spend more hours beside him.

🚩

A shake on Yeonjun’s shoulder woke him up to consciousness. Confused, he looked around and registered the existence of Soobin already walking away probably from waking him up. The last thing on Yeonjun’s memory is that they were already in Iron Man 2 after watching 2 earlier Marvel movies when he noticed Beomgyu already asleep. He just didn’t expect he’d be sleeping, too.

“You guys are cute,” Taehyun says loudly from the dining table, eating ice cream Yeonjun guesses he bought outside.

If it weren’t for Taehyun’s comment, the eldest wouldn’t notice how Beomgyu is still sleeping on his shoulder, breathing evenly and lips slightly parted. They aren’t like this daily, Beomgyu doesn’t do this to him often, and yet, Yeonjun is already familiar with this kind of feeling— the younger one clinging to him and him just letting it happen. It feels right; something he has no guts to change at the moment.

Yeonjun only smirks and huffs, leaning slightly on the head resting on his shoulder. 

“I thought Beomgyu hyung said you’re a red flag.” 

“Why are you bringing that up now?” Yeonjun shoots daggers from his eyes to his, which Taehyun didn’t hesitate to return.

“It’s weird,” Taehyun mumbles before eating another scoop of his ice cream. 

Yeonjun quickly turned his head to the person sitting close to him who suddenly joined in the conversation so casually like he wasn’t asleep for the last hour. 

Not opening his eyes, Beomgyu exclaims, “Stop making things weird. You do this with Soobin-hyung, too. Did I ever say anything?”

“Jesus, that’s different!” 

That’s when Beomgyu properly sat up, facing the dining table from the sofa to talk to Taehyun properly. Yeonjun only crossed his arms and watch the two argue like it was a form of entertainment for him.

“Okay, tell us how you’re different from me and Yeonjun-hyung.”

The younger one between the two just rolled his eyes, earning a smirk from Beomgyu. This is added to his list of ego boosters. He knows his cards well and he knows how to play them well. The eldest has no idea though why they are bringing Soobin into the conversation. He assumes that Beomgyu knows how much Taehyun hates to be teased by someone. It’s just one of Beomgyu’s cards for sure.

“You’re annoying,” Taehyun pauses then asks Yeonjun, “How did you get him into watching that?”

The latter only replied with a shrug on his shoulder because honestly, he absolutely has no idea how he managed to make Beomgyu watch when after all these years Beomgyu has been ignoring it. Thinking of a reply, he opened his mouth to say something along the lines of him being a good marketing strategist but Beomgyu had already spoken up. 

“Ask me the same thing how I made hyung watch Kimi No Nawa.”

Yeonjun groans. He shouldn’t have given him this chance to speak and slander him. 

“Hey, it’s not that bad,” Beomgyu pouts at him before slapping his arm.

Who is Yeonjun if he’s not weak for a quick change on Beomgyu’s lips? With that, he just laughed as the younger one continues his act. 

“I was just kidding!” Yeonjun pulls the sleeve of his hoodie,  “Send me more of your stuff later.”

Beomgyu immediately beams up at him. His round eyes shifted into the shape of the moon, similar to the one peeking from outside their window tonight.

“Okay,” he murmurs, “To be fair, you should also send all the movies I should watch after this.” Then he pointed at the television in front of them, Iron Man 2 paused on the screen.

The eldest just nodded, stood up from his seat, and patted Beomgyu’s hair, the latter instinctively giving into the touch. 

“And you,” Yeonjun stops his track to point at Taehyun,  “Stop looking at me that way.”

The younger one only looks at him with boredom. “Then stop being like this. ”

Yeonjun just proceeded to his room right after sticking his tongue out like an elementary student at Taehyun. 

After that whole conversation, nothing significant happened. Well, Yeonjun is somehow celebrating inside, knowing he crossed that off the red flag list. He just knows it’s off the list by how Beomgyu is being so smiley in the following hours after that. They exchanged what to watch next, although not together anymore to Yeonjun’s disappointment, later that same evening.

But day-offs also mean visiting their families or doing hobbies they couldn’t do during their busy schedule which made Yeonjun forget about his mission in the next few days. It was a big realization when he heard Soobin and Beomgyu talk during breakfast a day before they finally go back to work. 

“What’s your favorite so far?” He heard Soobin ask as he eats cereals in the living room.

Yeonjun didn’t really pay attention. He turned on the electric kettle and was expecting to proceed with having his normal coffee routine. But nothing is ever normal when this one specific member of his group is involved, okay? The moment someone answered, his brain cells went to their favorite kind of thoughts. 

“Both of Guardians of the Galaxy,” Beomgyu pauses like he’s actually thinking, “But Ant-man is close. Scott Lang is funny, okay?” 

He heard Soobin agree but that’s also the same time Yeonjun pops his head out from the kitchen. His eyes were so wide because why wouldn’t it be when you found out your crush is actually watching the movies you recommended? Okay, except it’s not his crush, Yeonjun shakes his head internally. 

“Yeonjun-hyung!” Beomgyu proudly smiles at him.  “Guess what movie I am in now?” 

Yeonjun paused for a moment. It’s impossible that Beomgyu has binge-watched everything already. And if he’s watching in the order Yeonjun sent him, Beomgyu is probably in the middle movies, which leaves to his guess…..

“Doctor Strange?” 

The younger one nods as he scoops a new set of cereals to munch on.

“I don’t think I can stay up tonight though.” 

“We can watch it this week,” Yeonjun suggested at the speed of light before he turns his back and continue his coffee.

Beomgyu only answered when he was already walking his way to sit with them in the living room, mug intact in his right hand.

“You’ll watch with me?” 

Yeonjun nods. “I love Doctor Strange.” 

“Okay,” he mumbles with a shy smile.

Soobin looks at them alternately, earning an eyebrow raise from the two who were already busy eating. He looks at them with disbelief, like he couldn’t stomach the fact that they forgot his existence at the table already like the fake friends that they are. 

“Why are you guys not asking me? I love Marvel, too?”

Beomgyu turns to Yeonjun with a sheepish smile. “This is a jukkyumiz only event. Sorry, hyung,” he says as he sticks his tongue out at him, even putting an L sign on his forehead.

Soobin turns to look at Yeonjun, his eyes pleading after being called a loser by his own member. It was funny because Soobin looks like he’s asking so much for Yeonjun’s approval but the latter only smirks at him and then returns the sheepish smile to Beomgyu. 

“Sorry,” Yeonjun says with such an unapologetic tone. 

Beomgyu raises his hand, high-five-ing with Yeonjun like they just successfully finished an important mission.

Soobin scoffs, standing up from his seat with his dirty plate. “Whatever. I don’t want to see you guys flirt anyway.”

“We are not flirting,” Beomgyu reason, which Soobin definitely ignored as he hums a song to cover up the younger’s voice.

So, Beomgyu just turned to Yeonjun. “We aren’t, right?”

“Nope,” Yeonjun replies before grinning at him.

They are not flirting. Flirting with Beomgyu is never Yeonjun’s intention. Not even when he is about to watch another anime movie with a smile later that day. Not even when he is already planning to call Beomgyu and talk about everything they’ve watched. 

Nope. Because that’s just what good friends do, right?

🚩

He’s wrong. 

Yeonjun realized the next day that everything that he’s been denying is what the future has prepared for him. Flirting with Beomgyu is now his intention. And what he’s planning to do is not what good friends do. Are they bad friends? Are they even friends? Until now, as Yeonjun prepares for their first schedule, he doesn’t know what the answer is. 

He now stands in front of their full-length mirror with excitement very evident on his face. They are all wearing their You version outfits, infamous for their boyfriend vibes outfits. Grey hoodie shirt, black vest, black slacks, and— the highlight of Yeonjun’s outfit today— rainbow socks.

Before laughing at the sudden mismatched socks, people have to know there’s a reason behind this. Who else can make Yeonjun do stupid decisions like asking the stylist to let him wear those dumb socks? 

Right. Beomgyu and his goddamn red flags list. 

Today, Yeonjun is planning to hit two missions in one day. The first thing is not looking straight. Which is very bad timing with this specific concept where they have to be very straight looking. Yeonjun, being the genius man he claims he is, puts the rainbow socks into the situation. It's very fitting if he’s being honest, doing this on pride month? Indeed a genius. 

He walks out of the dorm with a smile on his face and sparkles in his eyes, meeting everyone outside who has been waiting for him. To his surprise, the only member there is Beomgyu, standing in the beige cardigan that looks too fluffy on him. 

Admitting his feelings, he’s disappointed that nobody else is there with them because he was so ready to show them off his cute socks. But it only makes sense that they wouldn’t wait for him except for Beomgyu because they don’t share a car. 

He shrugs it off and stands behind Beomgyu who still has no idea he’s there. But Yeonjun’s brain is basically short-circuited, tongue suddenly dry when he stands behind the smaller one and realized—

They look like they’re going on a date.

He inhales every single oxygen he can inhale. Swallows a mouthful of saliva. Does everything to forget such a delusional thought, because how did his brain even go there? Yeonjun heavily sighs before throwing an arm around the smaller. 

“So, where’s our date gonna be?”

Beomgyu was startled, looking at him with big eyes. Yeonjun just raised an eyebrow at him, unfazed at the distance of their faces. He’s okay. He’s fine. 

Surprisingly, the other one is also unfazed and smirks at him. “Shouldn’t you have planned that already? Being the cool boyfriend you are?”

Boyfriend.

Oh, wow. He called him a boyfriend? His boyfriend?

“The way you’re asking that makes sense by the way you look,” he says before walking and pulling Beomgyu along with him to go inside the car.

“By the way I look ?”

Yeonjun didn’t answer in the next seconds and Beomgyu was left there hanging as they take their seats inside the familiar car. 

“You look like a cute girlfriend,” the eldest mumbles when Beomgyu looks at him after a minute.

He’s sure Beomgyu is hoping he can’t see the instant red blush on his cheeks but if there’s anything Yeonjun’s the best at, it’s not dancing nor singing. It’s observing every minuscule detail on Beomgyu’s face, in a very non-creepy way. He adores every single thing on Beomgyu from his eyes to his lips if he’s not obvious and a change of color is very evident to him. 

Yeonjun just chuckles when Beomgyu tried to cover his face, a habit he does that only makes Yeonjun look at his slim fingers. The former can’t help but wonder how those fingers would feel when he’s holding it. 

“Stop it, hyung. It’s just my hair,” he murmurs as he touches the back of his hair.

Beomgyu looks away even more, looking more offended than Yeonjun has ever seen in the years of their friendship.

“Sorry. That was too much, wasn’t it?” The guilt in Yeonjun’s voice didn’t get missed, “What I meant was you look cute. Cute boyfriend, if you want.” 

Beomgyu didn’t look at him at all, so Yeonjun just let him be. He knows he shouldn’t have said that. He doesn’t even know if Beomgyu is comfortable with those kind of terms. It’s Yeonjun’s fault for not thinking before speaking out loud, a trait he needs to practice not doing anymore as it can jeopardize his relationship with people, just like right now. He couldn’t blame Beomgyu if he’s upset right now and wouldn’t talk to him.

Yeonjun was already decided that he’ll talk and apologize later. With the sudden change of atmosphere inside the car, all he can do is to look outside as the car starts running.

“Thanks,” Beomgyu suddenly mumbles,  “I don’t mind, hyung.”

It’s obvious how shocked and confused Yeonjun is. Maybe it was the fact that he already convinced himself Beomgyu hated him at that moment or the fact that Beomgyu smiled and giggled softly when the latter’s eyes landed on him. 

He’s fucking down.

“You saying girlfriend. I don’t really care. It just means I’m pretty, right?” Beomgyu blinks at him before smiling, “Am I pretty, hyung?” 

The eldest’s lungs is not capable of this kind of conversation with Beomgyu. His biggest kryptonite is happening right now— Beomgyu gazing at his eyes with curiosity, his lashes fluttering right in front of Yeonjun, and his lips pink and glossy because of the newly applied lip gloss that Yeonjun is trying not to ruin. His breath hitched the moment he realized this is fucking serious. This is not a friendly thing anymore, knowing that if this is any other people, he wouldn’t answer him the way that he did to Beomgyu. 

He smiles at him, the one that makes fans call him whipped or fond, trying his best not to grab Beomgyu’s arms at the moment and kiss him right on the spot. 

“Yeah, you are,” he said in the lowest, softest voice possible, showing everything he is feeling at that moment.

Yeonjun doesn’t know how exactly he managed to survive that conversation. He imagines passing out right after admitting that he finds one of his members pretty without any tone of unseriousness in his voice. But, unexpectedly, he didn’t. He was just being honest. He’s not being creepy, is he? And Beomgyu did ask him, didn’t he? He’s okay. 

He can’t dwell over that more because the moment they enter the venue, fans started hyping them up and filling the place with noise. 

The rainbow socks he proudly wore also got noticed by everyone. Well, Yeonjun did show it off and asked for his fans’ validation the moment they’re speaking in the mini stage. But Beomgyu’s reaction was the most priceless to him—of course— Yeonjun treasuring it at the back of his head as he remembers the laugh Beomgyu did when he saw the bright socks. 

The only thing he wants to know today is if Beomgyu still sees him as a straight man. Yeah, Yeonjun already told his friends about his sexuality, but how Beomgyu perceives him is important and that boy can’t go around telling people his hyung looks straight. Aside from Yeonjun wanting to send Beomgyu a signal that his opinion very much matters, it’s only that. Just controlling his reputation, that’s all. 

His next mission came in the form of a fan. Yeonjun couldn’t find another way to show Beomgyu that he doesn’t flirt with everyone. He’s tried not flirting with the other members anymore today, but Beomgyu is probably too busy to notice him doing that. Another thought that irks him because how can Beomgyu not look at him the way he does to him? 

Beomgyu is indeed his biggest ego breaker. And it’s not even a breaker because being the competitive person that he is, it just makes him want to prove more.

“Oppa,” the fan calls, making Yeonjun look up from the album he’s signing to the girl.

He smiles at her. “Yeah?”

“Will you be my boyfriend and marry me?” 

Past Yeonjun would’ve answered a flirty yes, when do you want that to happen? , but Yeonjun today feels like answering it differently. No, he’s not gonna say a straight-up no; his best-at-fanservice self can’t handle that. He glances at the other end of the table where Beomgyu is occupied and currently making a fan laugh before Yeonjun smiles sweetly at the fan. 

“Hm, I don’t know if he’ll agree to that.” Yeonjuns face feigns sadness and disappointment.

“Bang PD-nim?”

Yeonjun shakes his head. Before the fan could even react, he already raises his two hands above his head, forming bear ears in his head for a split second. He quickly put it down because that’s just so stupid. There’s no point in wishing that she didn’t understand because the face she made and the gasp she let out were remarkable.

“Beomgyu-oppa?” It was loud and Yeonjun had to put on a shush finger. 

But it was too late, by the way, because Beomgyu is already looking in their direction with furrowed eyebrows. Without any thought, Yeonjun poured all his shame out and winked at the staring boy. There were MOAs who cheered and screamed but at that moment, Yeonjun just laughed at how Beomgyu rolled his eyes and turns away from them.

He returns on whispering to the fan in front of him, “Yeah, he might get jealous that a pretty MOA is with me. Ask him to marry us.” 

She giggles. “Okay, I get to have two oppas. That’s a win for me.”

Everything after that was a blur. Everybody’s tired every time they finish a fan sign event. It can get draining especially when you’re not in the mood to talk to people but you have to because this is what you do for a living. On the other hand, Beomgyu usually remains energetic even after a day of meeting with fans. According to him, it gives him happiness whenever he talks to the fans and shares thoughts with them. Yeonjun admires him for that. 

The weird thing is Beomgyu remains silent on the walk to the car. He remains silent when they were already seated, a complete opposite to the usual peals of laughter they share by exchanging funny fan stories. The younger one is quickly asleep, head hanging as the car runs on their way home. 

Yeonjun had to remind himself that the world doesn’t revolve around him. Beomgyu is just exhausted from all the talking he did after their one-week break. It’s not about Yeonjun. 

He breathes out before scooting closer, reaching gently for Beomgyu’s head and putting it on his shoulder. Beomgyu’s just tired and that’s it. It’s not about them and how impulsive he acted the whole day towards Beomgyu, Yeonjun reassures himself as he stays awake until they reach their dorm.

The eldest wasn’t that wrong though because the moment they enter what they consider their safest space, Beomgyu is already acting normal. Everything feels okay as they gather together and eat dinner peacefully.

“Hyung, MOAs are feasting on your video today,” Soobin says in a muffled voice as he chews a mouthful of noodles, eyes focused on his phone.

“What video?”

“The one where you said you don’t know if Beomgyu will agree if you marry the fan.” 

Beomgyu chokes on his noodles. Taehyun quickly hands him a soda.

Yeonjun was so wrong for thinking they could have dinner in peace. There’s no peace available for him today and he thinks he deserves it.

Yeonjun swallows. “I’m just giving content to the jukkyumiz fans.” 

Kai only laughed at his stupid remark because when the hell did they start feeding into the delusions of these shippers? Only Yeonjun has that kind of power. 

“You’re so stupid, hyung. If people really— Ugh!” Beomgyu didn’t continue whatever he was about to say and instead, just shoots a glare to Yeonjun. The latter only returned a look of disbelief. 

“Are you still convincing Beomgyu hyung you’re not a red flag,” Taehyun asks with a tone Yeonjun couldn’t tell if he’s mocking him or he’s just genuinely amused at how Yeonjun is not letting an issue that happened two weeks ago.

The only reply Yeonjun gave is a shrug, minding his own business and devouring his cheese ramen.

“You like Beomgyu hyung that much?” Kai asked it in such a teasing tone that the eldest just sighed heavily, earning a good laugh between the non-victims.

Beomgyu was already staring at him like he was expecting him to give the answer. Yes, he does, and what about it? What are they gonna do about Yeonjun’s feelings that he has been denying for years now? What are they gonna do when Yeonjun actually says yes and recites a whole monologue to tell Beomgyu how fucking hard it is to keep everything inside?

It’s hard, especially when the look Beomgyu is giving him right now sparks hope inside him. Like he will actually give Yeonjun a chance when he says that one word. Yeonjun is about to give in, just like how he gave into his head’s miserable decisions. However, at that same moment, Yeonjun also knows the younger doesn’t see him that way. Beomgyu looks like that to everyone, right? He likes compliments and he listens to them like his favorite song. The look in his eyes— the even bigger eyes to the point that you can see your whole reflection as his pupils dilate— is not exclusive to Yeonjun. Beomgyu can probably do it with Soobin or Kai without any problems.

There was a pang! in Yeonjun’s heart once he has reached the conclusion that the best way to escape this situation is to do what he does best—

“No, I— He—” Yeonjun denies, then, pauses, “Do I look like someone who will like and date you, Beoms?”

A stupid question. Very stupid. Yeonjun is again a victim of his own mouth that blabbers whatever he’s thinking. Himself is his own greatest enemy by how stupid he is. The question can be interpreted in many ways, which makes it stupid, because the possibility of Beomgyu misunderstanding his tone and choice of words is high. 

Beomgyu blinks at him two times. 

“I don’t know,” he replies in a whisper.

“You said it yourself last time.” 

“Oh, yeah,” the long-haired boy lets out a hoarse chuckle, “I guess you’re right.”

Yeonjun would’ve noticed the way Beomgyu shifts his gaze away from the table if he weren’t too focused on how much he wanted to be out of this situation right now. The atmosphere shifted and he couldn’t pinpoint why. But Soobin, being the most annoying member that he is, didn’t let it go though and even went on to jokingly provoke Beomgyu into fighting Yeonjun.

“Be angry with him, punch him on the face or something,” he says, acting like he was about to land a punch on the eldest’s face. 

Beomgyu just grins a little before drinking his whole soda. Everyone looks up at him when he suddenly stood up from the floor.

“I’m too tired to fight today. It’s not like it’s important if he likes me or not.” Kai gasps loudly while Taehyun only gave Yeonjun a side-eye.  “I’ll go to bed now.”

If Yeonjun didn’t notice Beomgyu’s avoiding gaze, well now, it’s right in front of his face by the way Beomgyu just walked past by his side. The way the three other members are staring at him like he’s a suspect of a crime isn’t helping the guilt crawling up in his system at all.

When did this shit get so complicated?

🚩

“It’s full of our things already. Yeonjun-hyung might feel suffocated.” 

Before Yeonjun could even form a counterargument, the staff was already nodding at Beomgyu. The younger didn’t even spare him a glance as he shuts the door of the car they usually share. Yeonjun closed his eyes tightly and his head landed on the backrest of his seat. When did he ever complain about the space they share? When did he complain about being suffocated in one car? Jesus Christ, all their clothes are at the back of the car and it’s not like it bothers them!

Ever since that evening 2 days ago, Beomgyu hasn’t talked to him properly. Not even when they’re alone in a space. Not even right now, they are about to attend a variety show with just the two of them. 

Beomgyu is being weird.

Yeonjun feels weird that Beomgyu is acting this way. The latter is so good at acting that they are alright in front of the cameras Yeonjun is starting to think maybe Beomgyu actually belongs in the acting world. The moment the show finished and they are done for the day, it was like Beomgyu snapped and turns off his Yeonjun radar.

Despite the frustration he’s feeling, guilt is still consuming Yeonjun inside. He knows he did something wrong and he’s just a coward for not admitting it in front of Beomgyu. He’s a coward for not talking to him properly. He’s a coward for denying everything. In the end, this whole show he has built doesn’t only involve him but also Beomgyu. Something he has failed to acknowledge in the beginning. 

Yeonjun sighs as he looks at Beomgyu from the kitchen counter, the latter peacefully watching Spiderman: Far from Home in the comforts of their couch. He is too immersed in the movie, something that would’ve made Yeonjun proud and happy if he wasn’t too remorseful, to notice how long Yeonjun has been staring at him. 

The eldest drinks a little from the coffee he has been holding for the past 20 minutes, now a little cold by how long it has remained untouched. He just stands there, occasionally zoning out before he heard Taehyun enter the kitchen. Soobin follows a few minutes after as they started giggling behind Yeonjun. 

“You’re cute in that apron,” Taehyun says with a smile. Yeonjun couldn’t see them but he knows he was smiling. 

Soobin looks at Taehyun confusedly. “I always wear this, though?”

“Yeah, connect the dots.” 

“Huh?”

“Hyung, I’m saying you’re always cute.”

Yeonjun’s face almost formed into a disgusted one until he decided not to judge the conversation. Maybe it was a friendly one. Maybe he’s the only one with a such corrupted mind. They’re all friends here and friends give each other compliments. 

“Oh,” Soobin paused for a second, “Should I wear this everywhere now?”

“Nah, you’re cute even if you’re not wearing that.” Taehyun turns to look at Soobin, who is behind him, and whispers, “Even if you’re not wearing anything at all.”

That was Yeonjun’s last straw. That is not a friend-to-friend thing to say! That leaves Yeonjun wondering what the hell is up with these two?

He quickly turned around and witnessed how close the two are as they do something Yeonjun couldn’t see on the kitchen countertop. Is this what friends do, Yeonjun asks inside his head.

“You guys are fucking gross. What was that?” 

The two only gave him a glance before they snickered right at him. Soobin even continued to wrap his arms around Taehyun’s waist and squeeze it. Yeonjun cannot believe he has to see this unfold right in front of his eyes.

“You know I can see everything, right,” he said with an upset tone as he looks at the backs of his members.

It didn’t take too long before they actually face him, both of them leaning their bodies on the countertop. 

Soobin, without any hesitation, retaliated, “You know we can see you staring at Beomgyu like a creepy person for the past 15 minutes, right?”

He rolls his eyes. He’s not creepy! Beomgyu just happens to be there while he’s zoning out, okay? Yeah, Beomgyu is the ultimate reason why he’s zoning out, but nobody needs to know that part.

“He’s acting weird,” Yeonjun says in a whisper, “Right?”

“Acting weird to you. He’s normal to us.” Taehyun crosses his arms.

“To be fair, you’re the first one who started acting weird to him with all your mission thing,” Soobin added. 

The mood between the three of them changed into something more serious. Yeonjun dropped his head, the floor is quite nice to look at when you’re reflecting on your past actions. What Soobin said isn’t wrong at all and it fueled Yeonjun’s remorse even more, realizing how he is the one who messed up this whole situation.

He looks up at them again. 

“You think he’s mad at me?”

Soobin only cringes at the question, like he couldn’t detect how Yeonjun is apologetic with everything. The eldest couldn’t blame him though, Soobin probably sees what he cannot in Beomgyu. 

“You’ve been giving him mixed signals and you’re asking that?”

Yeonjun didn’t even get to tell whatever he was going to say at the tip of his tongue. He’s glad Taehyun actually cut him off because Yeonjun’s mouth is on automatic mode whenever it comes to this topic. Automatic mode meaning automatically denying whatever he feels for Beomgyu. 

He does it before for the reason that he doesn’t want to fuck up their friendship, but when it’s already like this, denying the truth will just make things worse, won’t it? Yeonjun knows that. That’s why he lets the two wake him up even more.

“Shut up, hyung. Just admit it, that would help,” Taehyun pauses for a moment to get closer to the other,  “We don’t know what Beomgyu-hyung is feeling. Stop with your mission shit and talk to him like a normal person would.”

Yeonjun sighs.

“I’m scared,” he finally admitted in a low voice, almost inaudible for the two.

“Of Beomgyu?”

Yeonjun nods and murmurs, “And everything else.”

Soobin looked at him, for the first time that day, with the most serious eyes that he only puts on when he’s addressing a serious issue. This is a serious issue to them, Yeonjun realizes.

“Have you seen Beomgyu? He’s literally the fluffiest person you’ll ever see.” Soobin’s eyes soften. “And the fact that you’re his Yeonjun hyung—trust me, the last thing in his head is hurting you.”

“Okay,” replies the eldest with a hint of finality in his voice. 

The whole conversation ended with Taehyun patting Yeonjun’s arm as he proceeded on resuming whatever he’s working on with Soobin. On the other hand, Yeonjun drank his coffee in one go before sparing a glance at Beomgyu from the living room. Kai joined him in watching, the two clinging to each other. 

Yeonjun would’ve smiled fondly at the sight— Beomgyu and Kai resting their heads on each other, arms linked as they focused on watching— if it weren’t for the heaviness slowly settling in his heart.

🚩

He didn’t have the heart to talk to him the same night.

His mind was actually already set on talking to Beomgyu after the conversation he shared with Taehyun and Soobin. Yeonjun was already determined to fix everything that night, but when he saw Beomgyu laughing like he did before during dinner; when Beomgyu told everyone a sweet goodnight, and; most especially, when Beomgyu gave him a small smile after days of not talking, everything he had already set just crumbled on the ground. 

Beomgyu was actually fine that night and Yeonjun didn’t have the heart to ruin it.

“I’ll get going now.” Yeonjun gestures a going out sign with his hands to his manager.

The other one nods, “Go, just don’t forget that you need to be early tomorrow.”

Yeonjun only let out a small copy before he sprints out of the office.

His backup plan is happening right now as he follows the track to Beomgyu’s studio here in the company building. It’s already 6 in the evening. Most staff are on their way out but knowing Beomgyu, he’s still inside working on the song he wants to be included in their next album. 

Yeonjun wasn’t wrong. He knocked 3 times before making his way inside where he found Beomgyu busy on his computer, the back of his swivel chair facing Yeonjun. 

“Who is it?” Beomgyu finally turns around. 

“Oh.” 

Yeonjun takes one more step closer. “Hey.” 

“What brings you here,” the smaller one replies as he turns his chair completely to face Yeonjun.

It took a few seconds for Yeonjun to gather his courage. The fact that Beomgyu is looking up at him right now is not helping at all, too.

“You want to go home together?” Yeonjun shifts his weight on his other leg. He’s nervous, he is.

Beomgyu didn’t give him a smile he was expecting. Instead, the younger just averted his gaze somewhere else, somewhere he cannot see Yeonjun.

“Uh, I’m still doing something,” he says, picking up his headphones from the table. “I think the others are still here. Maybe they’ll come with you.”

Before Beomgyu could even turn his swivel chair again and get back to whatever he’s doing, Yeonjun already has his hand on it, stopping the chair from any motion. 

“I need to talk to you. It’s important,” Yeonjun’s last sentence came out more softly, almost a whisper.

He is still nervous. Yeonjun knows Beomgyu is probably still upset with him. Beomgyu is still taking his time to move on from Yeonjun’s careless actions and Yeonjun understands that. But he couldn’t take one more day of Beomgyu avoiding him and the only way to not have that is to face the problem. 

A thorn from his heart finally died and fell off when he heard Beomgyu let out a sigh before looking up at him again. It melts Yeonjun’s heart at how much Beomgyu shows his emotions through these two gems that sparkle no matter what he’s feeling. And right now, Yeonjun knows it holds sadness.

The younger one clears his throat. “Honestly, me too. I wanted to talk to you, but—”

“I’m sorry, but can you save that for later? We can talk while walking outside.” The eldest lets out an awkward laugh and awkwardly scratches his nape along the way too.

Beomgyu’s reply is just a small nod. Followed by a small smile that Yeonjun loves seeing. Oh God, and when did his hair get this long and pretty?

“Okay, hyung. Let me just fix my things.” 

Fixing his things only took them a few minutes and the next thing they know is they’re already walking on their way home. This is not a common way to go home especially when they are this big in Korea already. It’s like you’re asking to be mobbed by fans, to be honest. But it’s already past six and they’re taking the route around a park nobody really goes to. Very perfect place to talk to your homie in my Yeonjun’s opinion. 

“Hyung.” Beomgyu breaks the silence first, both of them still walking.

“Hm?”

Yeonjun felt Beomgyu pull his wrist and that’s why they stopped. They are currently surrounded by trees and other plants they both cannot name, no people on sight. Yeonjun decides this is the time. The time to say whatever they’re going to say is now.

“I’ll start it, okay? Don’t cut me off.”

He didn’t have the chance to stop him. As much as Yeonjun wants to speak and apologize first, the look Beomgyu is giving him right now is just begging for him to listen. Who even is Yeonjun to stop and hinder that?

Beomgyu swallows first.

“I’m sorry for acting that way. That was so immature. It’s not like you said something offensive to me, but I still acted like a jerk, who only gave you passive-aggressive responses. I don’t know why I did that.” His eyes looks down at his hand fiddling with the sleeves of Yeonjun’s hoodie.

Yeonjun can’t help but just look. He can’t help grabbing Beomgyu’s hands and holding it gently, catching Beomgyu’s attention again. Yeonjun knows Beomgyu still has something to say, so he gestures him to go on.

“Why was I expecting you to say that you like me? I’m sorry, hyung. I’m stupid. I called you a red flag and shit, but I have the nerve to expect something like that from you when in the first place, it wasn’t even your intention. We were just playing around and here I am, actually wishing you like me when the reason behind all your actions—the silly missions—is because you wanted to prove you’re not the person I depict you to be.”

Beomgyu steps closer to him, a lot closer that when he looked up at Yeonjun, he could smell the perfume he likes to wear when he’s stressed.

The former moves his hand to hold one of Yeonjun’s warm cheeks. 

He opens his mouth, closes it, then finally says, “You are amazing, Yeonjun-hyung. I wasn’t serious at all and I should’ve just told you that instead of enjoying the stupid movie marathons and the flirting and the pretty things you tell me. You’re cool even if you don’t watch animes. I know you’re also joking when you’re flirting with everyone. You’re famous because you’re a passionate person and it’s not your fault people make up that kind of rumor. You don’t look straight— I made that up. Oh my god, I made up a lot of things, hyung. I’m a liar.” 

When the younger one covers up his face out of embarrassment with both of his hands, Yeonjun stayed there, shushing him and whispering how it doesn’t matter to him. The next moment that Beomgyu looks up at him, he knows what Beomgyu is about to say.

“I li—”

He immediately cuts it off, putting a finger over the smaller’s lips. “No. Don’t say it. Not now.”

Of course, Beomgyu was taken aback. Who wouldn’t when you’re at the climax part of your speech and the person you want to hear it suddenly stops you.

“Oh,” he says, pouting, “I thought I— We—”

“Let me have my turn first. You can tell me that after.”

“But you ruined my momentum! Confessions go first before the rejection if you don’t know,” Beomgyu exclaims, earning a loud scoff from Yeonjun.

“Who said anything about rejection?”

The pout Beomgyu was sporting earlier turned into his lips officially parting, almost slacking his jaw out of shock. It was comical, the face Beomgyu is giving him right now. The blush on his face. The wide eyes. The hair is slowly being blown by the wind.

Beomgyu is just so fucking beautiful that every time he reacts, no matter how funny or sad it should be looking, no other adjective will leave your head except for the word beauty. 

“You shut your mouth now. It’s my time.” The younger only pouts at him but still manages to take Yeonjun’s hand and play with it.

“You are not a jerk. If anyone’s a jerk between the two of us, it’s me.” 

Yeonjun sighs deeply.

“I was the one who took your comment seriously even though we were literally drunk that night. I was the one who decided on doing those missions. I was the one who flirted with you just to get your silly reaction. I was the one who keep on denying everything when in fact, I am and always have been in love with you.”

With every courage he has right now, he pulls Beomgyu closer by the latter’s wrists, later on intertwining their fingers. Yeonjun stares into his eyes, diving deeper if that’s even possible. Beomgyu is looking at him the same way, his hair almost covering his eyes if it weren’t for Yeonjun’s fast reaction to tuck his hair behind his ear.

“I’m sorry, Beomgyu-ah. I’m sorry. I was scared. I was scared that you didn’t like me that way but in that process of me making stupid baseless assumptions, I just keep on hurting you,” whispers Yeonjun, everything only meant for Beomgyu’s ears and no one—nothing else. Not even for the leaves rustling, not even for the birds flying above them.

There’s more twinkle in Beomgyu’s eyes. It even becomes more appealing and attractive the moment his mouth moves upwards, forming into a smile that makes the skin around his eyes wrinkle. 

Yeonjun’s breath hitched at that moment. 

“Yeah, you should learn how to talk properly,” says Beomgyu, giggling at Yeonjun after.

“Wow, weren’t you the same person who said Ew! the moment you were teased with me?” The ew was definitely said in a tone to mock the younger.

Unaffected, he only raises his eyebrow.

“You never showed me any signs that you like me, too.”

“I buy you everything you ask for. Isn’t that a simp moment for me?”

“No, you’re just a dumbass. How can you assume that I didn’t like you back when I literally cling to you 24/7.” At that point, the long-haired boy was already mumbling his words.

Yeonjun crawls his hands around Beomgyu’s waist, pulling him even closer to him. Being this close during summer is stupid because who would want to share even more body heat to one another? Well, not these two. Love is blind, indeed.

Not even a moment that their eyes separated. If someone passes by them, they’re doomed, but the fact that it didn’t bother Beomgyu is concerning. Especially when Yeonjun’s next words is what bothered his heart.

“Well, you cling to Soobin, too. Should I assume you like him?”

Yeonjun raises an eyebrow, Beomgyu only landed a smack on his chest. A sheepish snicker follows after. “Oh my god, you’re so cute when you’re jealous.”

Yeonjun doesn’t understand. When did getting jealous become a cute thing? Isn’t that suppose to be the red flag? He only shrugged, now break their eye contact, looking around the park surrounding them.

He feels Beomgyu wriggle from his touch before yelling at him, “You are so dumb! I swear, hyung, I can’t believe I am in love with you.”

“What is it now?” He looks again at the younger.

“Soobin-hyung and Taehyun has something going on, so, can you stop all this fuss?”

Now, that made Yeonjun stop. Literally stop. His brain froze, his heart stopped running on its daily run, his blood stuck somewhere in his veins. 

That’s when he realized.

“ Shit .” It was a curse towards himself. “That’s why he said Soobin looks cute even when he’s naked!”

Being the dramatic person that he is, Beomgyu gasps loudly, partnered with a disgusted look on his face.

“That’s fucking gross?”

“I know! I said the same thing.” Yeonjun shakes his head before resting it above Beomgyu’s.  “God, everything’s making sense now. Are they really fucking,” he whispers.

Beomgyu wraps his arms around Yeonjun’s body. 

“I don’t know. I stopped listening to Soobin hyung when he told me a detailed story of their first kiss.”

Yeonjun laughed loudly. He can imagine Soobin just rambling to Beomgyu, matched with his hand movements and small reenactments. The person he’s hugging couldn’t help but laugh along, too. 

A few seconds of silence hovered over them before Beomgyu uttered something. 

“Can I say it now?”

Beomgyu pulls away to stare directly into Yeonjun’s widened eyes, obviously confused as to what he’s talking about. “The what?”

“I like you, Yeonjun-hyung,” he stops and swallows.

“I am in love with you the same way you are in love with me. Even before you started watching the animes I recommended. Even before you started truly flirting with me,” Beomgyu says with a chuckle, remembering how dumb they were, “Your mission is over. You can reject me now.”

“I told you I’m not rejecting you.” Yeonjun only pulled him even closer, space non-existent between the two of them. “And I want to cross off one more thing in your list.”

Yeonjun said that without any plan in mind. He didn’t plan on doing it right away, right after their confession but Yeonjun couldn’t stop himself when they reached the dorm and was welcomed by silence and darkness.

When Beomgyu turns to look at him, Yeonjun could still map his beautiful features, eyes stuck on Beomgyu’s soft-looking lips. And, well, that was the last straw.

The next thing Yeonjun knows is that he already got Beomgyu against the front door, whimpers eaten by Yeonjun’s mouth on his. Things escalated quickly— the older’s tongue is already slipping inside Beomgyu’s mouth, Yeonjun’s hands on his butt to lift him off the ground. Everything became messy after that and Beomgyu has no other choice but to grip on Yeonjun’s shoulders and wrap his legs around his hips tightly. 

The way to Yeonjun’s room didn’t take that much time because the boy knows the path even when his whole sight is blocked by Beomgyu’s gorgeous face, still busy on sucking the eldest’s bottom lip. 

He quickly hovered over Beomgyu right after gently putting him down over his pillows. That was the only time they pulled away for more than 5 seconds because its purpose wasn’t to get more oxygen and breathe but because Yeonjun wanted to look at him properly. 

There was no light in his room except for the automatic nightlight he had put on before. It radiates warm light which makes Beomgyu’s face glow in color yellow and orange and Yeonjun has never seen him under a different colored light with a face like this. Eyes boring into Yeonjun’s, chest heaving at how long they’ve been kissing, lips opened and ready to welcome more of Yeonjun’s tongue. 

“Fuck,” he couldn’t help but whisper lowly before resuming devouring Beomgyu’s now swollen reddish lips.

This time, Beomgyu took the lead. Putting in his tongue, pulling Yeonjun’s hoodie over his head—leaving the older with his thin white shirt, and changing positions to put himself over Yeonjun’s thighs. 

It was so fucking hot. 

Yeonjun meant that in the most literal way possible. It’s a summer night and Beomgyu is right above him, sucking his soul right out of his mouth. Imagine the sweat rolling over their skins, quickly wetting their hair by how much they’re moving. 

Oh God, he has never liked the word hot this much before. 

Beomgyu pulls away to breathe. He leans into the crook of Yeonjun’s neck, making the latter groan by how eager he is to leave a mark there, his hands traveling on the skin under Yeonjun’s shirt. Yeonjun has no guts to stop him. He’s gonna die someday anyway, might as well let Beomgyu leave how many marks he wants on his body. 

At that same moment, Yeonjun remembered something. It was like the bright idea bulb in cartoons that made him gently pull Beomgyu away to look at him in the eyes, using his long fingers to hold Beomgyu’s chin.

“You still think people with vapes are red flags?” 

Beomgyu breathily replies, “Yeah? Does that hurt you, hyung?”

The smirk he gave Yeonjun annoyed the shit out of the latter. Annoyed at how the person he called cute and pretty and beautiful just 30 minutes ago can look like this. Annoyed at how Beomgyu knows to push him through his limits. 

“Let’s see if you’ll say the same thing after this.”

Yeonjun didn’t waste any time. He reaches out to get something from his nightstand drawer and Beomgyu has never felt so eager to see a surprise from his favorite hyung. Yeonjun was not different, too.

The reaction he elicits from Beomgyu is becoming more and more amusing. If only everyone could see the way Beomgyu’s jaw slacked the moment Yeonjun raises his vape in front of his face, they would know that Beomgyu isn’t the fluffiest person on Earth like they claim he is.

He sips on it, tasting the strawberry shortcake flavored juice. He didn’t know what he was thinking, but all he knows is between his vape and Beomgyu, the person squirming on his lap is more addicting than any other vices people warn about. You will start looking for more from him especially when the sight after Yeonjun experimentally breathes out right on his face is something you will never see outside of the four corners of the room.

Yeonjun would’ve said sorry. He would’ve apologized to Beomgyu for breathing out smoke like that right on his face without any permission. He really would’ve, he swears that to his ancestors seriously now, if it weren’t for the sound Beomgyu lets out in front of him, eyes tightly closed now like he was feeling the smoke settle onto his skin.

Beomgyu just moaned.

Fucking hell, he really did just moan.

“Hyung,” he whines again.

“You like that, baby?”

He nodded vigorously before sloppily kissing Yeonjun’s lips, saliva spreading around the latter’s mouth. Yeonjun doesn’t mind it at all.

“Inside me, hyung. In my mouth, please,” Beomgyu hold both of his jaw, body moving even more above Yeonjun, making him wrap his free arm around the smaller’s tiny waist, “Please, hyung.”

Yeonjun sips again on his vape, latching his mouth quickly onto Beomgyu as he was afraid that smoke will escape from his mouth before Beomgyu could even taste it. He tilts his head while Beomgyu kisses him deeper, sucking every smoke he could get from Yeonjun’s throat. Yeonjun already started feeling dizzy at how many sounds he has swallowed from Beomgyu. 

The next thing he knows, he’s already pressed right on his headboard with tired Beomgyu now just licking his bottom lip, fingers drawing circles on the skin of Yeonjun’s adam’s apple. It tickles, both of the things he’s doing, and Yeonjun could only squeeze his waist tighter and fight his tongue right there.

Beomgyu sighs and that was Yeonjun’s signal to move away. Beomgyu is tired and he wouldn’t admit that by chasing one more peck onto Yeonjun’s lips.

“You’re tired, stop now,” he said sternly.

The younger looks at him with disbelief and made some whiny noise. “What? That’s it? You won’t remove my clothes?”

Being the responsible person Yeonjun is, he pulls Beomgyu even more, forcing him to lie down on his body, head buried on his shoulder.

“We have many other days to do that. Rest now.”

Beomgyu huffs loudly. 

Yeonjun thought that was it. He thought he’s finally trying to sleep, being the good lover that he is, until the former felt a tickle on his neck. Beomgyu is licking his neck. Gross, disgusting, but Yeonjun just giggled, hugging him even tighter.

“Stop thinking about sucking my face.”

Beomgyu giggles against his skin, his shoulders moving hysterically from laughing. 

“‘Am not.” Beomgyu looks up, Yeonjun is there to meet his gaze, “I love you, hyung.”

A kiss landed on Beomgyu’s forehead full of his hair sticking on his skin. 

“I love you.” 

The long-haired boy just smiles at him, finally closing his eyes and deciding to call it a day. It was Yeonjun’s turn to annoy him, though.

“You still think I’m a walking red flag,” the older one asks before removing the hair that’s sticking on the forehead he just kissed. He proceeds on combing him, Beomgyu leaning into his touch before answering.

“With everything that we did? You’re a walking pride flag now. You’re so fucking gay for me.” Yeonjun laughs at his answer, nodding before kissing him on the cheek.

“That’s a hundred times better.” 

Yeonjun finally closes his eyes along with Beomgyu, feeling the latter’s breathing even out. He smiles.

The mission is finally over. 

Beomgyu was just too blind to see the six other colors below the color red. Or maybe Beomgyu colored it with him. Yeonjun’s not sure, but either way, the color red did lead and end him up to the most beautiful person he has ever seen. 

Maybe the red flags were clues after all.

Yeonjun shakes his head at the silly thoughts, finally breathing in sync with Beomgyu. He couldn’t wait to wake up and kiss him even more. 

(“Hyung, oh my fucking god. Why did I tell him that? I even sent him a notes app screenshot. I realized I look like a jealous bitch, but who am I to be a jealous bitch? I’m so obvious. He definitely knows I like him.”

Soobin laughs from Beomgyu’s phone. If Soobin laughed loud enough, Beomgyu will probably hear him from the walls.

“What did you call him again? A walking red flag? Dude, I just thanked all the gods Yeonjun hyung didn’t say, “ Well, bitch, you are a walking pride flag. You are gay as fuck. ”. But that would’ve been funnier, to be honest.”

Beomgyu yells at his phone, “Bitch, you are not helping at all!”

“I am, and I’m telling you he certainly likes you back. You guys should date.”

“What kind of leader are you? Pushing your members to date and risk the group with a dating scandal?”

 “Eh, I’m okay with anything as long as it’s not me and Taehyun.”

“Funny because you can’t even look at him without sparkles in your eyes. You guys are definitely on the dispatch list.”

Soobin only made a mocking noise, hanging up the call without any warning. He has no time to deal with oblivious losers when he’s already an oblivious loser himself.)