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Akaashi wasn’t a fan of grand gestures. He preferred to show he cared in more subtle, practical ways. Bokuto clearly appreciated this, to an extent, since he insisted that he wouldn’t see other people in the year between his and Akaashi’s graduation. In fact, he was inconsolable for weeks after Akaashi wrongly assumed that Bokuto would find long distance relationships insufferable.
Well, to be fair, Akaashi wasn’t wrong, per se. It was insufferable. But Bokuto made sure it was insufferable together. Akaashi fielded many late night sob fests in the wee hours before tests and tournaments. But reliability was his charm point. He’d never take a train to Tokyo to arrive unannounced with a 6 foot teddy bear, but he would always pick up the phone.
It had been 4 years since then. Akaashi and Bokuto were happy and content in the lives they’d built together, and they were looking forward to many more years under one roof (like, a lot more years, if Bokuto really did live to 130). Yes, Akaashi loved his life with the love of his life, and he was ready to take the next step.
Bokuto had been itching for the big question for weeks now, if his insistence on replaying videos with titles like “TOP TEN MOST AMAZING MARRIAGE PROPOSALS OF ALL TIME!!” during dinner was to be believed. Akaashi had trained for years in reading Bokuto’s emotional cues, and committed every gasp and clap to memory, secretly adding the proposal ideas Bokuto was most excited about to his own “top 10” list.
After crossing off such impossible things as “landing on one knee after skydiving” and “the ring was secretly in the mouth of a shark”, Akaashi finally arrived at what he thought was a proposal plan extravagant enough for Bokuto.
That’s how Akaashi ended up crouched down in front of a cage of owls in the bird section of the zoo. Kuroo was stepping back with a camera that Kenma was still showing him how to use, and Suzumeda approaching from further down the path carrying an elaborately jenga’d together tower of yakisoba buns and soda cans, Shirofuku hot on her trail whispering “I can eat just one, right? Just one’s fine.”
Akaashi pulled the golden band with the black gem centre out of his pocket just as oblivious Bokuto shouted into the owl cage, causing Akaashi to flinch just a bit. “Hey!” Bokuto shouted. “That big owl just stole the smaller owl’s mouse! That was so cool—Akaashi, you okay?”
Akaashi let his panicked heart settle for a moment as he assured himself he did not just drop the most expensive piece of metal he’d ever held in his life into a nearby storm drain. He took a deep breath. Bokuto’s outpouring emotions weren’t new. They were familiar. Home-like. Hopefully they always would be. Akaashi’s heart started racing anew.
Adjusting his position and clearing his throat, Akaashi said in his quiet, confident tone, “Bokuto-san, you are–”
“Holy crap, Akaashi, are you proposing?!” Bokuto shouted.
Instead of being annoyed, the interruption was quite endearing to Akaashi. His high school sweetheart looked like he was tearing up. His excited voice shook ever so slightly as his head was surely rushing to a plethora of possible lives they’d have together as spouses.
Akaashi pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, but his smile wasn't any less glowing. “Yes, Bokuto-san.” He chuckled. “Yes, I am proposing.”
Akaashi wasn’t a fan of grand gestures. But in this moment, it was worth it. In this moment, everything was perfect.
“This is the best day of my life!” Bokuto proclaimed, taking the ring in one hand and his favourite person in the other. He slipped the ring onto his right index finger, a blunder which Akaashi had to let slide due to the incoming cheek kiss from his new fiance. He grinned. He was in for a lifetime of silly blunders, and he was ready to face them all.
Bokuto held Akaashi tight to his chest while flashing the peace sign at Kuroo, who kept loudly speaking over Kenma’s soft explanations with questions that he had already answered. Akaashi leaned into the hug, pulling Bokuto’s hand close and quietly correcting the ring placement.
“I’m the happiest man in the world!” Bokuto beamed. “Now I’ll be married to my best friend and my boyfriend!”
Uh oh, said a teeny tiny voice far in the back of Akaashi’s head. Attempting denial, Akaashi said aloud, “You’re my best friend, too, Bokuto-san.”
“Oh,” said Bokuto. His tone sounded like he was backtracking. “Well, you can be my best friend, too, Akaashi! My best friend-boyfriend! Like how Shirofuku is my best friend-ultimate rival,” he gestured towards Shirofuku gleefully consuming the last yakisoba bun while Suzumeda hung her head in her hands in defeat, “and Kuroo is my best friend-best friend!”
Akaashi’s eyes widened with realization. “Bokuto-san, tell me you didn’t–”
“Alright, big smiles!” Kuroo called from across the path as he finally snapped a picture.
“Bokuto-san!” Akaashi said, stepping firmly out of Bokuto’s embrace. Bokuto looked at him perplexed. “Bokuto-san, I have a clarifying question.” Bokuto blinked, staring, still not grasping the situation. “Bokuto-san, we… we are engaged, yes?”
“Yeah!” Bokuto cheered, his golden retriever energy showing. He held up his right hand but switched when he noticed Akaashi had moved the ring to his left.
“And this is the first time you’ve been engaged?”
“Yeah!”
Akaashi breathed a sigh of relief.
Well, half a sigh of relief.
“When Kuroo and I got married, we just got married, no engagement or anything like that. This is way more special! Come to think of it, Kuroo, why didn’t you do something flashy to propose to me?”
“I did,” Kuroo said nonchalantly. He was sauntering over from his photographer’s perch, glancing down at the camera and trying to find the display button. Kenma kept reaching around him to point it out, but Kuroo moved the camera back and forth in his hands and kept misinterpreting Kenma’s directions.
There were several photos of Kuroo’s shoes on the $500 piece of rental equipment. “I wrote it out on a bar napkin and everything. Akaashi, I think you got ripped off, this camera takes really blurry pictures.”
Akaashi finally gave in to his inner panic as Kenma wrenched the camera out of Kuroo’s hands, cursing his disrespect for technology.
“Bokuto-san,” he said.
Bokuto immediately straightened his posture. He could instantly tell that Akaashi’s way of speaking had slipped from classic monotone into chilling calm. “Y-yeah, Akaashi?”
“Bokuto-san, are you already married?” he asked. “To Kuroo-san?”
“Oh, yeah,” Kuroo answered casually. “Got wasted with this guy after work one time and we filed the paperwork the next day. We were still hungover, too. Poor clerk didn’t look too sure about any of it, eh, Bokuto?”
Kuroo glanced over at his apparent husband, but Bokuto only responded with a stiff shake of the head.
“Ah,” said Akaashi. The foolproof emotionless tone was frightening, even to Kuroo and Kenma who were not yet used to its subtleties.
“Oooh,” Shirofuku taunted half heartedly, returning from a speed run to the nearest vending machine. “Someone’s in trouble.”
“W-what’s the matter, Akaashi?” Bokuto asked, forcing a laugh in a futile attempt to lighten the mood. “Like I said, you’re my best friend-boyfriend–err, fiance!--and Kuroo is my best friend-best friend. I like both of you, just in different ways. Isn’t that okay? It’s okay, right?”
Akaashi closed his eyes, clapped his hands together in front of his face, and took a deep breath. “In theory, yes,” he said sternly. “In practice,” he opened his eyes and gestured with his clasped hands, “there’s this thing called the law. And, whether you like it or not, the law says you can only be married to one person at a time.”
“So like…” Bokuto said, trying to find a way to bargain his way out of this, “like we could alternate? Like I’d be married to Akaashi on weekdays and Kuroo on weekends…?”
Kuroo cackled. “Sure, go ahead, but you gotta pay to file our divorce every Sunday.”
Bokuto looked at his friend in shock. “What? No! I can’t divorce you Kuroo! We’re bros! Bros before di… uh… div-ros!”
Akaashi let his head tilt back and looked to the heavens for guidance. But the heavens had jack shit, so he looked back to his gaggle of friends that was quickly becoming their own zoo exhibit. Kenma was cradling the camera in the crook of his arms while tapping away at an app game and it occurred to Akaashi that he must not be too happy about his own boyfriend’s surprise marriage, either.
“Kenma, did you know about this?”
“Hn?” Kenma looked up from his game. “Oh. No.”
Akaashi raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem surprised.”
“I’m not.” This time he didn’t look up from his phone. “It’d be a waste of time to be surprised everytime Kuro does something stupid.”
“Kyanma! Watch what you say about the man who makes sure you drink water more than once a week!” Kuroo said loudly. This caused a nearby child to stare while being guided away by their parent.
Reading the situation, Akaashi said, “This is no place to discuss this. Let’s go to dinner.”
Bokuto’s ear perked up. “Dinner?”
“Yes,” Akaashi said coldly. “I made a reservation at a BBQ restaurant to celebrate our engagement, Bokuto-san, and I would like to still use it.”
“Oh. Uh. Yay?” Bokuto said, trying desperately to sound enthusiastic in the face of Akaashi’s apparent disappointment.
“B-B-Q! B-B-Q!” Shirofuku chanted as she passed him.
Kuroo and Kenma trailed behind the others. The slower pace made it easier to steer Kenma around potential tripping hazards by his hoodie while Kenma continued staring at his app game. “I don’t see what the big deal is,” said Kenma. Kuroo tugged on the back of Kenma’s hoodie to signal a turn. “Divorce can’t be that expensive. What’s a divorce cost? 5 million yen? 10 million?”
“Are you serious?” said Kuroo. “You don’t think 10 million yen is a lot of money?”
Kenma shrugged. The front of his hoodie dug into his neck, signaling a stop. “I mean, it’d be a bit much every Sunday. If it’s just a one time thing, though, that’s just a day of work. Two days, max.” He raised an eyebrow and glanced at Kuroo out of the corner of his eye. “Is the pay at your job really that bad, Kuro?”
Kuroo stood in the middle of the zoo path with his mouth hanging open. Kenma returned to his app game while he waited for an answer. He tapped away for a moment before noticing the weight of Kuroo’s hand was no longer on his hoodie.
“Bokuto!” Kuroo yelled as he sprinted down the path. “Bokuto, divorce me! I wanna be a house husband!”