Archive of Our Own

Being a member of the royal family meant a lot of things. Being the best in everything, dressing nicely and talking kindly to others in public events. Being powerful, someone who can lead a country if needed. Being confident and determinate, whose orders got done without complaint. It's rather out of fear or respect, but a good leader is always someone, who people choose to follow on their own, who can make hard decisions if needed.

Being a leader of a country came with responsibility and if this person wasn’t committed enough, then it wouldn’t work in the end. Nothing could be done right by someone inexperienced and uncommitted, someone who didn’t want the title of a leader in the first place.

But the most important thing was if you were to lead a country, to have someone by your side, who would be willing to help you through every hard day, every hard decision and make a better person out of you. Or if you were a woman, someone who would take that responsibility off your shoulders, leading on their own and leaving you to be the supportive wife, who couldn’t say anything about the way they were working on such important things, like being a king of a nation and being a public figure, who the citizens either respected or feared.

That is what went through Jinsoul's mind the moment her parents stared at her at the dining table one night after dropping a bomb on her. She wasn’t sure if she heard the words right in the first place. They could have said something completely different than what she heard. After all the dining room of the palace was the size of a football pitch.

It was unreasonably big for Jinsoul's liking with a special place in the front that could give a place up to twenty people, only the top tier of the royal family and their closest family members. In front of that table was other, larger ones, that stood empty for the majority of the time, only filled fully, when the king and queen decided to hold a ball when something significant happened, like birthdays of theirs or their children, on Christmas and new year. Other occasions were when Jinsoul's father invited his most trusted friends, who were consisted of the most important men in the country after the royal family.

Other than that, the dining room was left empty, only giving place to three meals of a day for five people. The king, sitting in the middle, looking over the enormous room with his wife on his left. If the room was full of guest, who watched every move of the royal family, than Jinsoul would sit on her father’s right with her youngest sister on her other side, while her little brother sat next to their mother.

Now, however, when no one was around to see the family in their raw nature, the king still sat at his usual place with his wife, only the children of the couple was nowhere near them. Jinsoul usually chose the farthest seat possible, preferably close to the entrance of the room, so if it was time she could disappear as fast as she could. Her sister Minjung was seated two seats away from their mother and her youngest brother Jum was sitting just as far from the couple as Jinsoul did, only on the other side of the table.

It started off like every dinner they had together. The younger ones of the family arrived at time, 7pm sharp, their mother already discussing something with the chef in the kitchen like she always did, most probably asking what the menu was for the night. Their father, the king liked to be ten minutes late, making everyone wait for him, because they would only serve the food, if he was sitting in his chair.

Jinsoul, knowing his father is always late, attempted to be late one time too, but for her luck the king decided to be on time that one time, giving Jinsoul a scolding right as she entered the room in front of everyone. It wasn’t a foreign scene to witness. The king may be the last one to enter the room, that was a rule everyone knew and breaking it came with consequences.

Even if Jinsoul was a princess, the first in line for the throne, she wasn’t treated differently than anyone else if she broke her father’s rules along with her siblings. The king was hard on everyone around them, enjoying the fearful looks on the faces he looked at. In the land of theirs there were only a few who wasn’t afraid of him, including his family. Citizens feared and hated him, just like everyone around him and he, as a true villain he was in Jinsoul's life, enjoyed every single minute of his cruelness.

That night she was in time, entering the room to see her sister on her phone and her brother looking bored out of his head. Jinsoul wouldn’t say she had such good relationships with them. Her sister, maybe. She was actually nice and lovable, only two years younger than her and they often came together to dinner at nights, talking about everything that was bothering them from failed love through broken friendships to the depths of being the royalty of the country, who desperately hated their family.

Her brother on the other hand was five years younger and Jinsoul despised him like she did with their father. Jum was – as Jinsoul would say – a spoiled brat, arrogant and – with the words of Minjung – a total asshole. Their mother and father wanted a boy, it wasn’t a secret and they were disappointed with the news of getting daughters for the first and second pregnancy, but when Jum was born, their so loved and cared for son, they showered him with love. Their mother cared for him in a way she never cared for her daughters and their father loved and cherished his only son to the point, where he would let him do anything, including breaking the rules no one was allowed to break, making him so full of himself.

The thought of the special treatment made Jinsoul's head hurt. She wasn’t the type to long for something like the love of her parents, but she couldn’t help but feel jealous every time she watched as her little brother got everything she never had. She couldn’t help but feel left out, feeling like an intruder in her own family. Minjung was there, she felt the same and Jinsoul knew, but they couldn’t do anything about it as in now, only accept the fact that they will never be loved as Jum was and they never will be the reason of the pride in the royal couple’s eyes.

Jinsoul waited patiently, watching as her mother returned to the room, taking a seat at her usual place and looking her oldest daughter up and down.

“Get your feet down from the chair, Jinsoul. We raised a princess, not a filthy peasant.” She ordered coldly, sending a look of disapprovement to her daughter about her behavior. Jinsoul rolled her eyes, doing what her mother asked. “And how many times do I have to tell you to fix your posture. Do you think anyone will be willing to kneel in front of a queen, who can't sit like a decent person?”

Her voice was cold, a hint of caring taking her words across the room. Jinsoul knew her mother loved her, she never questioned that and she knew she wanted the best for her, but sometimes she couldn’t help but feel the opposite of that. The queen was naturally cold to everyone, ever since they were kids, she would show her love in a way only her family understood and it was enough for them for the most of the time. She wanted her daughter to rule the country one day and to be a good leader, so if it was needed, she was a bit colder to her, if it helped her to grow as a human. It was hard to understand her logic at first, it took Jinsoul almost eighteen years, but she did eventually, even if it was hard to always be as perfect as she excepted her to be.

“Minjung, put your phone away at the dining table.”

“Sorry.” The girl said, putting the phone in her pocket.

Jinsoul waited for her mother to say something to their brother, who was practically laying across the table now, bored and not knowing what to do with himself, but she didn’t say anything. She never did.

The door opened, revealing the king with a serious look on his face as he approached his seat, sitting down without a word. The maids came out of the kitchen, serving the food and Jinsoul had to hold herself back from frowning, seeing the soup in front of her. It was full of broccoli, which she hated. She ate it anyway, trying not to cause any trouble with her mother and seemingly already disturbed father.

After she was done, her plate got taken away. They were waiting for the second course of the dinner, when the king broke the silence with his fierce voice.

“Jinsoul,” he started, looking over at his daughter.

“Yes, father?”

“Your mother and I had a talk about you the other day and we decided on something. We let you alone with this for as long as we could, for your own sake, but we think it's time for you to get married.” He stated.

Jinsoul froze, her hands dropped to her lap, fingers fidgeting nervously. This couldn’t be happening. No, not right now.

Jinsoul told her parents a while ago, that she had no interest in getting married in the near future, not until it was required for her to do so or she found someone she truly loved. Her parents – for her disbelieve – let her be, saying that they didn’t mind if she hadn’t been to get settled down just yet. That was three years ago.

“W-what? No, father I don’t-“

“It's not a request Jinsoul.” Her mother cut her off. “You are already twenty years old, you need to get married until your next birthday. It's already settled and we have a perfect person who you will marry.” The queen smiled, like she was happy to see her daughter be put in this situation.

“No.” Jinsoul stated. “I… no. You can't choose someone for me to marry. You can't just give me away like that. Don’t I have a say in it? And my birthday is in a month, do you want me to just get married in a month?” she was angry. She couldn’t believe her ears. How could her family except her to get married in a month?

“Daughter, this was never a topic you could decide on. You will get married, because…” he paused, looking at his wife, who gave him a supporting smile. “Because as you know, I was twenty-one years old, when my parents gave me the thrown. I want to do the same. Your mother and I decided to step back from the spotlight and give it to you and your future husband. With your birthday, you will be the new queen of our country.”

Okay.

What?

Her brain shut down at the words by now. That has to be a joke. It was just a joke, right? She wasn’t ready to be a queen, to rule the country, who she knew hated her just like they hated her father. And a husband? Yeah, no.

Jinsoul didn’t wasn’t a husband. She didn’t want anyone to be with right now. Not that she ever had someone special to her heart, no. It was rather impossible to fall in love, while she was practically locked into their home, not allowed to go out. At all.

How could they except her to be a queen, to fall in love with some random boy, when she never lived, not even for a day. She saw nothing of the outside of the castle she lived in, only on tv and social media, where she wasn’t allowed to post anything either. Their parents thought that the citizens didn’t need to get to know them, so they never let them out. The only events they could attempt were the ones held in their castle and there were no media allowed in. No photos of the princesses or the prince. The country she was supposed to rule didn’t even know how she looked like. Hell, she wasn’t sure if they even knew her name.

“I… I'm not ready.” She said. Her father shot her a look.

“You are. We prepared you for this in your whole life and you will do this, want it or not. The prince you will marry is going to visit us tomorrow morning, so get ready and wear something… nice.”

Tomorrow?

“Tomorrow?” she asked, still hardly processing what was happening.

“Yes, darling. Isn’t this so exciting?” her mother smiled. “And he has a brother too, so Minjung honey, you need to look presentable too. Since his brother is going to marry your sister, he’s going to be the king or their country and… he needs a wife.” she turned to the younger girl.

Minjung wasn’t looking at her mother. Her eyes fixed at the plate in front of her, picking on the food. She nodded weakly, signaling to her mother that she understood what she asked from her. No one said anything else. Minjung was clearly out of it, she didn’t want any of this to happen and when she looked up to match her sisters gaze, Jinsoul found fear and hopelessness in her eyes.

Jum was looking at her sisters furiously, clearly bothered that he wasn’t included in the conversation and his face radiated jealousy towards Jinsoul. It wasn’t a secret to anyone that Jum wanted to be the king. We wanted to rule more than Jinsoul ever did, but she would be stupid to give the title to someone so immature and impulsive as her younger brother. She would rather rule herself, despite how much she hated to even think about it, then to let her brother be a king, similar to their father and ruin the country and lose the little trust citizens might still have had for the royal family.

No.

The country needed someone, who took care of them. Someone, who could show them, that they respected the citizens and would win their support all over again. Jinsoul didn’t know if she was ready for that, to rule, but she knew what a good queen would look like. As that, she could finally fix all of the things her father ruined, but at the same time it meant she had to marry that boy, who will be walking through the doors tomorrow morning and give him the title of the king.

Did she really want that? Marry him, someone who she never met before? If they got married, he would be the king, the one to make decisions and Jinsoul didn’t want that. She didn’t want anyone to tell her what to do anymore. She wanted to be her own person, someone worthy to rule and make decisions on her own, not controlled by any men.

If Jinsoul really was to be the queen, she wanted no king beside her.

…

Jinsoul entered her room after the dinner was over, her head still full of thoughts. Her mother reminded her to sleep enough, because the future king won’t want to see his future wife with circles under her eyes for the first time.

She laid down on her bed, staring at her ceiling as she heard a soft knock on her door. She yelled back, letting the person know they were free to enter, since Jinsoul already knew who it was. Only one person was brave enough to knock on her door at this time, risking to disturb the princess. There was only one person Jinsoul didn’t mind being bothered by.

The door opened, revealing a short girl with brown hair that barely passed her shoulders. Her eyes fixed on the princess as she closed the door behind herself, rushing towards the bed and pulling the older girl into a sitting position, hugging her tightly.

“I heard what happened by some servants. They can't do that to you, right? They can't force you to marry that guy.”

“Unfortunately they can, Haseul. They can and… they will do that. I have no say in that.” Jinsoul pulled back, offering a smile to the girl in front of her.

Being locked up in her own home for all her life meant Jinsoul couldn’t meet anyone her age. She would spend all her free time in her room, bothering her little sister until she gave her some attention or doing things she wasn’t supposed to, just to make her parents mad.

It was a rather lonely life, but her mother told her she wasn’t allowed to leave the castle, so she should just get used to it. She offered to buy her every kind of videogame, every Barbie doll and house on earth, everything she could ever think of, but there was something Jinsoul wanted ever since she learned the definition of the word.

Friends.

She needed friends, who she could play with, people, who could understand her. Someone her age, who wasn’t part of her family, but her parents didn’t let her to have that. They told her, that if she wanted friends, then she should find one in the castle, because there was no way they would let her go outside, so she did that. She asked every single person she met at the age of eight starting from the guards to maids, even dared to ask few of the man her father had meetings with, until she came across her mother’s maid one time. She asked her if she had any kids or if she knew anyone who was Jinsoul's age, and the woman, with a huge smile on her face, told Jinsoul everything about her daughter, who was just her age, a few months younger.

She told her that her daughter, Haseul is usually staying at the castle while she was working, so if she wanted to she could meet her. Her mother eventually let her meet this girl, only because she herself had a good relationship with her maid, so Jinsoul planned a big tea party for them. She met Haseul and ever since that day, they became best friends. Haseul spent most of her time in the castle with her mother, eventually getting the job of being Jinsoul's personal maid and best friend, the only person who she felt herself at ease with.

Haseul was her go to person whenever she had anything in her mind, the kind of sister she never had and the best friend who was there for her through her hardest times. Her parents liked her too, since Haseul was a good servant. She never broke any rule, never talked bad about anyone and with her mother, they were closer to the royal family than any other person who worked for them.

“But… what will you do now?” Haseul asked, letting go of Jinsoul slowly.

“I don’t know. Maybe… I don’t know, Haseul. I don’t want to marry anyone.” She said, staring into nothing. “I haven’t even lived, you know. I saw nothing of the word outside. The only place I know is this stupid castle and… even if I will become a queen… I wanna go out at least once. I wanna see the world, Seul. I wanna see the country I'm about to be the queen of.” She confessed.

The thought of not even seeing the town she was living in was scary on its own, but not seeing her country? That was even worse. She saw nothing of land she was supposed to rule. Not one single time.

“I know… I don’t even know why your parents keep your identity in secret. At least they could let you out from time to time. People wouldn’t recognize you.” Haseul sighed. It was hard for her too, to see her best friend being a prisoner of her own home and she wished she could do something about it. She wished she could… she had an idea. A really dumb idea, but one that Jinsoul would probably love. “What if…” she started. Jinsoul was now looking at her with a confused look, waiting for her to continue. “What if you could go out? Only for a night, doing whatever you wanted.”

“Yeah, that would be awesome.” Jinsoul smiled, but it disappeared as fast as it came. “Too bad I can't.”

“I… okay, I know it will sound insane, but… maybe I can get you out. Just for tonight, since there are no guards at the exit of the servants because of the visiting of the prince tomorrow. They wouldn’t notice if you’d come out with me.”

“Haseul… I…” Jinsoul didn’t know what to say. The thought of getting out for a night was nice, she loved it and would definitely be ready to sneak out at every moment if Haseul told her it was safe. She wasn’t sure what to do. Her mother could just barge into her room the morning and if she wouldn’t find her daughter there, she would probably have a stroke within a minute, realizing that the prince was coming to see them. “I don’t know.”

“Come on. I know you want it to and we have plenty of time till the morning. We can come back together tomorrow morning. I come back at around 6am, there will be no guards, so I can sneak you in.” Haseul smiled, trying to convince her best friend, that sneaking out just the night before her future husband would come to get to know her was a good idea. It wasn’t. Jinsoul didn’t need to be a genius to know this could go wrong at any minute of her absents from the castle. She shouldn’t do this, it was dangerous and if her parents ever found out, they would probably punish her way more than they ever did before. She couldn’t do it.

“Alright.” She said before her brain could even process the answer she gave.

Maybe just for one night she should take the risk. She needed to take the risk for both herself and her future, knowing that if she declined this offer now, she would regret it later on. She would curs herself for not being brave enough to spend one night as free as she will never be. She needed this, the feeling of a foreign environment, where there were no guards who hold her back from a little innocent danger, no maids who were ready to do anything she asked for, no parents to tell her what to do. Where no one knew who she was.

For one night, she needed to be her own person without anyone holding her back and Haseul offered to give it to her.

Twenty minutes after the offer she found herself in front of the kitchen, hoodie in her face, hiding her face in case someone would see them on their way out. Haseul told her to wear something casual, something she felt comfortable in, so she changed into her most comfortable gray sweat pants and a dark blue hoodie that was a bit bigger than needed, her jet black hair out, falling over her shoulders. She usually wasn’t allowed to wear anything like that, not even on days, when no one saw her other than her family. Her mother always told her, that a princess should dress fancy even when no one was around to see.

Haseul was right, there were no guards around. Everyone was getting ready to welcome the prince, meaning they would spend the guards who wasn’t that important to rest, so they could be well rested to do their job tomorrow.

Getting out of the cast was easy. No one saw them and no one would pay any attention to a maid like Haseul and Jinsoul, who would pass as one as well. The first thing Jinsoul noticed was the air around her. It was lighter, feeling like she was breathing easier than she ever did before. She decided to love this feeling.

Haseul had a car that she actually got from Jinsoul, after she found out the younger girl used to walk to the castle every single day. From what she understood, Haseul and her mom lived quiet far and there was no public transport that would go there, so she had to walk. Jinsoul hated the though and… she bought her a car. Not like she had anything else to do with her money.

“So… where are we going?” Jinsoul asked, staring out on the window, watching as they passed uncountable trees. She felt like a kid right now.

“Well… I know you lived your past twenty life in that castle, so… my friends friend knows a girl from college, who’s holding a party tonight. Do you… want to go? There will be a lot of people, so they wouldn’t even notice us. Or do you want to go somewhere else? You said you wanted to see the town and-“

“Haseul,” Jinsoul cut her off, chuckling. “I'm a princess, who will be given away to marry a stupid prince. I would never have an opportunity to go to a real party, so please, take me there. I need a drink for sure. And yeah, I really wanted to see the town, but… maybe I will have time for that after… everything. I want to go to a real party for once.”

The thought of going to that collage party made her body hot. She never attempted any partied, not like she was invited by anyone. If her parents knew about this, they would drag her to her room themselves. But they weren’t here, she reminded herself. They weren’t here to tell her what to do. They couldn’t tell her what to do for the rest of the night. She was free.

“Are you sure? There will be… a lot of drunk college students. I don’t want anything bad to happen, you know.”

“Nothing will happen Haseul. Relax a bit. I can protect myself, you know that. I wanna feel like a normal girl for this one time so please, don’t treat me like a princess. I forbid you.” she said playfully, but she was dead serious.

“Okay,” Haseul sighed. “I will take you there, but promise you won't drink much. I don’t want to drag you're hang over ass back to the castle.”

“Ah, imagine me having a hangover when I meet the prince.” She laughed, thinking about what he would say.

“That would be hilarious.” Haseul laughed. “Up until your mother would murder you.”

“It would be so funny. They would disown me right there and there.”

“Yeah. Now come on, get ready for the best night of your life, because I will introduce you to the world outside of your home.”

…

It was bigger than Jinsoul thought it would be. She expected a hundred people, maybe a bit more, something out of a movie with loud music and horny boys and girls, but this was so much different.

The party itself was taken place at the said girl’s home, who held it and it wasn’t even a house. It was a whole mansion. It was almost as big as the royal castle Jinsoul lived in and she couldn’t help but wonder what this girl’s parents worked as, how could they afford all of this. Were they working to her father perhaps?

It didn’t matter. She was here to feel free and happy for once.

“This house is huge.” She told Haseul, yelling ever the music busting through the speakers, looking ever the people in front of her. There were at least two hundred people here, maybe even more.

“Yeah, I heard this girl’s parents are loaded.” Haseul yelled beck, but as she was about to say something else, there was a pink haired girl jumping into her arms, making her take a step back.

Jinsoul knew Haseul had friends other than her, but she still couldn’t help the jealous feeling rising inside her as she looked the pink haired girl up and down. She looked nice, really. Someone who Haseul would definitely be friends with and someone who would be a great friend for sure, but it was still weird.

She didn’t know the reason behind her jealousy, really. She didn’t know if it was because Haseul had other friends too and this was the first time she saw it first handed, or because she knew she could never have friends other than her, she couldn’t never go out and meet new people.

“You made it.” the stranger smiled.

“I did. I told you I would come.” Haseul pulled away, smiling at the girl. It was… different. She never looked at Jinsoul that was and she wondered why. Why was this smile different, then the one she received from her only friend every day? “Oh, this is… my friend, Jinsoul.”

Haseul introduced her. She didn’t know if this girl knew who she was, but she assumed she didn’t, because the first thing she did was ignoring Jinsoul's awkwardly offered handshake and pulled her into a hug.

Truth to be told, Jinsoul felt a bit lighter at the contact. Other than Haseul and occasionally her sister, she never had this kind of contact with anyone, not even with her parents. It was such a simple way of affection, but for someone like her, it was almost like a fever dream.

She slowly put her hands around the girl, smiling as she enjoyed her sweet form of greeting.

“Oh my god, Haseul told me a lot about you. I was waiting for the moment to finally meet you.” the girl said, pulling away slowly. Jinsoul shot a worried look at Haseul, but the younger girl only smiled at her, shook her head to tell the princess that no, she didn’t say anything about who she really was. “I'm Kahei, by the way. It's nice to meet you.”

“I-I'm Jinsoul. But you already know that.” She chuckled awkwardly.

“Yeah um… I hope you don’t mind it, but I need to steal Haseul away for a moment.”

“W-what? No it's… yeah, I guess.” Jinsoul slightly panicked. She just got to a party, a place she never been before and the only person who she knew would just leave her alone?

“I will be back in a minute Soul.” Haseul smiled, walking away with Kahei hand in hand. They must have been really good friends, Jinsoul thought, because Haseul never treated her like that. Or maybe she just had a completely different relationship with the people outside of the castle.

Sometimes Jinsoul wondered if that was true, if Haseul treated her differently than her other friends. She even wondered if her best friend felt the same way about her, of she was just a friend out of the others, not even worth enough to be called her best friend.

Haseul was the most important person in her life so far and thinking that she has never seen the princess as important to her as she did… it hurt. There was the possibility, of course, just like that Haseul was only friends with her because of who she was. Most of the people in Jinsoul's life aside from her family, the people who she somewhat considered friends only stuck with her, because they all wanted to be close to the future queen, which she hated. She never wanted those kind of friends. She wanted real ones, the ones who didn’t care about who she, who didn’t know her as a princess, who would treat her like a normal citizen.

Sometimes she wished for being one. She wondered what would have happened, if she were to born into a normal family, raised by totally normal people, who would love her and wouldn’t treat her like her parents treated her.

She shook her head, trying not to think about it, because it made her guilty. She had everything anyone would want, she had money and a name for herself. Hell, she basically had a whole country just for herself and here she was, wishing for a life, where she wouldn’t have any of that.

She searched the house around. It was nice, modern. There were a lot of pictures on the wall, showing a middle aged couple and a young girl around her age smiling at the camera with her parents behind her, each having a hand on their daughter’s shoulders. Jinsoul smiled. They looked happy, like a real family. On her families pictures her father had never smiled. Her mother yes, wearing a fake smile along with Jinsoul. Ever since she turned probably five, she never smiled out of happiness around cameras, she had no reason to. She usually wore a fake smile, similar to her mother’s.

She walked away, ending up in the kitchen, where a lot of people were talking, probably avoiding the crowd, pouring themselves a cup of alcohol. Jinsoul decided she needed that too, so she took a seemingly clean red plastic cup and decided she would just go with beer for now.

She took a sip and felt the burning feeling in her throat. Although she was almost twenty-one, her mother never let her to drink. When there were guests around, yes, she was allowed to drink some wine, something stronger if she was lucky or if she could sneakily steal a bottle from the kitchen, but other than that she wasn’t allowed. As her mother said, a woman shouldn’t drink like a man.

Now, however she wasn’t here to tell her this. She had to remind herself in every minute, still afraid they would find out about this little adventure of hers.

She was about to take another sip, when she felt something, of more like someone colliding with her back, making her almost slipping her drink on the floor.

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry.” She heard a girl behind her. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, right?”

Jinsoul turned around, finding herself eye to eye with a girl, who was probably the prettiest person she ever came across in her life, including kings and queens, princes and princesses. The girl was tall, around her height and her dark brown long hair falling over her shoulders so perfectly, that Jinsoul almost forgot she was about to answer.

“Y-yeah. I'm good.” She shuttered.

“Good. Sorry, really. It was her fault though.” The girl pointed at the other, shorter girl behind her.

“My fault? Yeah, because it's my fault that you’re clumsy and tripped?” the girl asked, offended.

“I wouldn’t have tripped while trying to get away from you, if you wouldn’t annoy me so much so yeah, it's your fault.”

“Oh am I annoying you now? Right, okay. Then I leave you alone if that annoying I am.”

The girl stormed out of the kitchen with an adorable pout on her face and Jinsoul couldn’t help but laugh under her breath. The other girl turned back to look at her, smiling as she poured herself a cup of beer.

“Sorry about that. She's a little… sensitive today. Anyways, are you new here? I don’t recognize you.”

“Why, you know everyone here?” Jinsoul asked jokingly.

“Yeah, pretty much. Plus, I would totally remember a face like yours.” She winked, making Jinsoul blush slightly.

“Oh, um yeah, I- my friend Haseul took me here. I’ve never… been here before.” She said awkwardly.

“Oh, Haseul huh? I'm Sooyoung, by the way.” She offered a hand for the princess to shake, which she took after a bit of hesitation.

So her name is Sooyoung. It somehow fit her perfectly.

“I'm Jinsoul.”

For the first time in her life, Jinsoul was glad her parents didn’t want her face to be on social media or to be seen anywhere, because it meant people wouldn’t recognize her. She could have a perfectly normal life without anyone treating her any different. If they knew who she was, Sooyoung would probably be taken away by now by the royal guard. No matter how little it was, if someone tried to hurt any member of the royal family, so little as just bumping against them, they would be looking ahead of some serious consequences.

“Nice to meet you Jinsoul. Well, I should probably look for my girlfriend. As you saw she's kind of angry at me, but a few kisses and we will be right. Come by some other time too with Haseul, I would like to get to know you.” Sooyoung yelled, already half way out of the kitchen.

Jinsoul slowly processed the words of the other girl. So that other girl was her girlfriend, then… Sooyoung was gay? It was understandable, she didn’t look like majority of these girls here, clinging onto some random dude with their dresses that showed a bit too much. Jinsoul thought about her mother and what she would say if she saw this whole place, full of horny and drunk people. She would probably faint.

She eventually left the kitchen, finding the living room, looking around to see if she saw any familiar faces – which was three people, because she didn’t know anyone else obviously – and hoped to find Haseul. She did eventually, sitting on the couch with Kahei and Sooyoung. In Sooyoung's lap was the girl from the kitchen, who Jinsoul assumed was her girlfriend and they all seemingly had a great time, laughing at something.

She wondered if Haseul even tried to look for her like she said or she left her alone to be with her friends on purpose. She felt kind of out of place and the second cup of beer in her hands had no effect on her yet.

She shouldn’t be here.

She should have never come here.

Haseul had other friends to enjoy the night with, while she had none, but that was okay.

Jinsoul left the living room, wondering around, until she found a quiet room in the second floor, away from the music and the people downstairs. It felt good to finally have some peace. The room she was in had no personal stuff in it, looking more like a guest room if anything. She noticed there was a door, leading to a balcony.

She walked over there, pulling it open and she stepped outside, feeling the breeze of the night hitting her warm skin. She felt like she could finally breathe again.

The night was warm, since it was almost summer, but there was a bit of wind, sending chills down her spine. She walked to the rail, looking over the huge garden in front of her.

“Wow.” She whispered.

The garden in the castle was pretty, full of beautiful flowers and branches. There was everything her mother wished for, but this… this was different. Various colored flowers everywhere, a path in the middle, lights everywhere. There was also a big pool by the end of it and she couldn’t help but wonder how could it feel like to swim in it, relaxing in the water, while looking over this view.

“Pretty, right?” she heard someone from behind her, startling her. She turned around, spotting a girl sitting against the floor next to the floor with bottle of vodka in hand, looking over the view. She must have been there already when she arrived, only she couldn’t notice her. “You look over it and thing, ‘wow, some people really wake up to this?’ I mean it's not hard when your parents are loaded, but still. Crazy.” She took a sip of her drink.

“Y-yeah. It is.” Jinsoul didn’t know what to say. Should she make a comment about waking up to something similar every day? No, that wouldn’t be the right thing to say. She simply decided to sit on the floor, the other side of the door, so there was some space between them and took a sip of her own drink, awkwardly looking around.

You would think a princess like her knew how to talk to people. No, she didn’t, mostly not pretty people like this girl. Jinsoul's social life was none existing. Sure, she sometimes talked to strangers on the internet, creating accounts to do so, so she could be just another nameless face on the internet. Her parents found out, obviously. After the third attempt she didn’t try anymore.

On social events she was the one who people talked to and attacked with questions, not the other way, until they found someone more interesting to talk to.

When it came to talking to people, getting to know them, she couldn’t help but fail at every attempt. She cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence.

“So, college is fun, right?” she smiled.

“Yeah, you could say that. What’s your major?”

“I… nothing. I'm actually not a college student. I don’t know why I said that, I'm sorry.” She cursed under her breath.

Idiot. Why would you say college is fun, when you're not even a student here?

She waited for the girl to get up and go away, telling her she's weird and she wouldn’t want to spend any more time in her company. She was shocked to hear a light chuckle from the blonde girl.

“You're funny. If you're not going to school here, how are you here?”

“My friend brought me here.”

To think about it, Haseul wasn’t a college student either. She got the choice to choose whether she wanted to go to college or stay in the castle, being Jinsoul's personal maid almost three years ago and she chose to stay. After all, the salary she got as a personal maid was way more than what any average job could offer out there.

“Who’s your friend?”

“Her name is Haseul.”

“Ah, you're friends with Haseul? Me too. She's cool.” The girl smiled.

How the heck did everyone knew Haseul here?

“Yeah… she offered to bring me here, but she ditched me for her other friends.”

“That sucks. So that’s why you're here,”

“Mhm. And you? Why are you here alone?” she asked, trying to continue the conversation.

“Needed some fresh air. This whole thing… it can be overwhelming.” The girl said, offering the bottle to Jinsoul. “Want some?”

Jinsoul carefully took the bottle and took a sip, regretting right away. She tried to hide it, but it burned her throat more than the beer did. She shallowed the drink, coughing a bit after and giving the bottle back to the girl.

“What, you don’t like to drink?” she asked teasingly.

“No. Actually, I don’t really drink at all.” She admitted. She almost choked on a sip of vodka, it couldn’t get any more embarrassing.

“Me neither.” The girl said, drinking more. The princess wondered what could be her story, the reason behind her drinking, despite she's not the type to do so. She was too afraid to ask. “I'm Jungeun, by the way. Just realized you don’t even know my name.”

“I'm Jinsoul. It's nice to meet you, Jungeun.”

For the first time in her life, she meant those words. Before, they were out of politeness, showing her best side to everyone, but tonight… tonight she was glad she met Jungeun. Something in the girl made Jinsoul feel a certain way. She couldn’t take her eyes off of her, of her empty eyes looking ever the view and the way she drank the alcohol without any problem like it was water. She also couldn’t help but notice how the girl haven’t looked her at all.

She heard Jungeun saying something under her breath, but she couldn’t understand what it was.

“What?” she asked.

“Oh, nothing. I just said your name is really pretty. Do you know the meaning of it?”

For the first time, Jungeun turned her head, staring at Jinsoul's eyes.

Wow.

A feeling she never felt before filled Jinsoul's body, making it almost hard to breathe. Jungeun's side profile was pretty and she could catch a sight of her face when she was standing in front of her, but now, with the blonde staring back at her, she felt her throat closing, preventing her from breathing and thinking properly.

She immediately took back the thoughts about Sooyoung being the prettiest person she ever came across – no offense to the other girl – because Jungeun was by far above her. The princess was convinced she was god’s favorite, the prettiest, the most breathtakingly beautiful being in the universe.

She would also like to correct Jungeun about what she said earlier about waking up at this garden as a sight. This was nothing compared to her. The princess cursed the lucky bastard who will be able to woke up to Jungeun by their side. The thought alone was so pleasing to her mind, that for a second she imagined herself as the one, who could wake up beside her from day to day.

What a good joke.

Not that she would mind it. The opposite, actually. Jinsoul was confident in her sexuality, she knew for a while that she liked the opposite gender, that wasn’t the problem. Accepting it was a bit harder, considering she had no one to talk about it either, but what was the hardest was that no matter what she wanted, she couldn’t be herself.

She couldn’t fall for a girl and be happy with her, no. She had responsibilities as a princess and one was to find a man to marry and have a family with. She never wanted that, but she couldn’t just tell her parents she liked girls, so she would want another queen by her side. That was impossible.

If she was lucky, her parents would give the throne to her sister and let her live her life as she wanted, disowned and never talked about anymore. Or she could still have some sort of connection to her family. Maybe.

In reality though, she was almost sure the king and queen would force her into a marriage with that prince – like they most probably will anyway – forcing her to be something she never was.

“You okay?” Jungeun asked, eyebrows frowned.

Jinsoul finally snapped out of her thoughts, shaking her head lightly and forcing a smile of her lips.

“Yeah, sorry just… my head is kind of all over the place right now.”

She heard a snort, followed by a weak laugh. “I can relate. You didn’t answer my question thought.”

“Your quest- oh, my name.” she remembered. Of course she knew the meaning of it. “No, I don’t.” she said, still wanting to hear Jungeun's explanation on her name.

“It means something like ‘true leader’. I think that’s a really pretty meaning for a pretty name like yours.”

Jinsoul blushed, looking away from the blonde. She already knew that. Her parents gave her that name, because they wanted their first born to be the true leader of the county one day, which wasn’t so far away from no, it seemed. Also, her sister got the name Minjung, because it meant ‘bright and noble’, like they wanted her to be when she grew up. Her brother was named Jum, meaning ‘king, ruler’. Maybe, deep down they wanted him to be the future king, Jinsoul always had that thought.

“Can I ask what is in your mind?” she asked carefully, ignoring the topic that reminded her of her family. The last thing she wanted was to make Jungeun feel uncomfortable in her presence with that question. “You don’t have to answer.”

“It's just… a lot right now. You know, school and… family stuff. What about you?”

It seemed like Jungeun would rather avoid the topic, but surely didn’t want to be rude to Jinsoul. The princess simply nodded her head, going forward with the conversation. “Family stuff.”

For a few minutes there was silence. It wasn’t awkward anymore, like it was in the beginning. No. Jinsoul found if actually pleasing, listening to the muffed sound of the music coming from downstairs, the sound of people having conversations, how they sang along whatever song was on at the moment.

She could also hear Jungeun humming along when a song she knew came up.

She never let her eyes leave Jungeun's features, not even when the girl caught her staring. She smiled, thinking maybe she should look away, because she might look like a creep, but when Jungeun smiled back, a smile similar to the one Haseul gave Kahei downstairs she couldn’t help but feel her hears beating faster.

The moment was ruined as fast as it came when a drunken couple entered the room, tongues in each other’s throat and hands on very intimate places. The door to the balcony was wide open, so they actually see and hear everything.

The two girls locked eyes and broke out in laughter.

“We should probably head downstairs.” Jungeun stood up, offering a helping hand to Jinsoul, who took it without hesitation.

They exited the room, the couple too much into what they were doing to even notice them and headed down in the living room, where Jinsoul found her friend still talking to Sooyoung. She noticed the princess, signaling them to go up to where they were.

“Jinsoul, I was looking for you a bit earlier. Where the hell were you?” Haseul attacked the princess worriedly.

“Sorry, just… had some fresh air.” She said, smiling at her friend.

“See you met our sweet Jungie.” Sooyoung smiled.

“Yeah, Jinsoul was actually a way better company than your asses.” Jungeun joked. She seemed so… different, that how she was just a minute ago on the balcony.

“Oh is that it? You knew her for a minute and you already like her better them us?”

“For your information… yes.” The blonde said, grabbing Jinsoul's arm, playfully tagging on it.

“Right. We were about to play some sloppy high school party games, because a party isn’t a party without those. Wanna join us you two?” Sooyoung asked, while a few other people and them sat on the floor in a circle with an empty bottle in hand.

“Ugh, this is such a childish game I swear. It shouldn’t be allowed to be played my anyone. Come one Jinsoul, let's sit down.” Jungeun said, already dragging the princess to sit with her, completing the circle on the ground before she could say anything. Haseul chuckled at them, sending Jinsoul a look, wiggling her eyebrows.

She ignored it and let the game began. It was a typical game Jinsoul saw in every teen movie, where they would have to kiss whoever the bottle landed on. It seemed like it worked for everyone, everyone kissing everyone.

It was Jungeun's turn next and deep inside Jinsoul prayed it would somehow land on her.

It didn’t.

It landed on a guy, handsome and tall with a typical bad boy image to himself, although his pink hair gave off a whole different vibe. A vibe Jinsoul couldn’t really explain.

“No.” another boy said. He was sitting next to the pink haired guy, shaking his head at Jungeun, who was ready to go for a kiss.

“Ah, you're no fun Wooyoung.” Jungeun rolled her eyes.

“Spin again Jungie. Let's see you gets to spend seven minutes in heaven with you.” Sooyoung's girlfriend cheered. Jinsoul still couldn’t catch her name.

“What? No, it's not my fault Wooyoung is too much of a pussy to let me kiss his boyfriend.” Jungeun whined.

“Just do it. Better to get through with it fast.”

“Whatever.”

Jungeun did as she was told and Jinsoul got in a little trans while watching the spinning bottle. She only processed what was going on, when she felt Jungeun's hand pulling her up, into a closet of the living room.

The bottle landed on her and now she was in a really, really tight closed, pitch black, pressed up against Jungeun.

That was way too much for one night, but also not enough. She wanted to be closer. At that, like Jungeun read her mind broke the silence.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” she said, so close to Jinsoul that she could feel her breath on her face.

“I- I mean… I don’t… do you want to… do it?” she shuttered out the words, feeling her chest tightening while waiting for an answer.

“I mean… maybe.” Jungeun finally said. The princess felt the atmosphere getting hotter with every passing second.

She was in a closed.

In a college party.

With a girl who wanted to kiss her.

Who she also wanted to kiss so badly, despite knowing her for only less them two hours.

“I don’t…” she felt embarrassed, but she said it out anyways. “I don’t really know what to do.”

Jungeun chuckled, placing her hands on Jinsoul's cheeks. “Just kiss me.”

Jungeun didn’t understand the meaning behind Jinsoul's words.

“No I... I don’t know how to… how to kiss… you.” she said, eyes shot closed. She hoped Jungeun understood and also that she wouldn’t make fun of her.

She almost waited for a laugh, a remark of how pathetic she was for not knowing how to kiss someone, but it never came. Jungeun pulled her hands back, the princess immediately missing her touch.

“Oh… you mean you never…?” the blonde asked in shock.

Yeah, Jinsoul never kissed anyone in her life. Not that she had any kind of opportunity or someone she wanted to kiss. She never experienced the feeling of love, only a few crushes, but nothing more, so being there with Jungeun so close to her, she felt pathetic.

“…never.” She whispered.

“Oh, okay. Like I said, we don’t have to do anything.”

“But… what if I… want to?”

“A-are you sure? Jinsoul, we are in a closet of a party, it's not the most romantic place to have your first kiss.” Jungeun chuckled awkwardly.

If she wanted to be honest, Jinsoul would tell Jungeun that this was her only opportunity to have her first real kiss with someone she actually liked in the first place. But of course she couldn’t. She couldn’t share her worried with this girl, telling her who she really was, so she did something completely different.

She kissed her.

She leaded forward, took a hold of Jungeun's face and brought their faced together in a tender, passionate kiss.

The princess, due to her lack of experience didn’t know what to expect from her first kiss. She always thought it would be romantic with someone she liked, or with the prince her parents wanted her to marry. At this point, she could even imagine her first kiss to be the one, that the prince would give her on the day of their wedding without any feeling, no tingling feeling in her heart.

This, however was nothing like that.

Kissing Jungeun felt like fireworks in her stomach, like she was the only source of air for her lungs and like she was finally alive. The princess thought this couldn’t get any better, but as she felt Jungeun's lips moving against hers, she took it back. This was better than anything she ever experienced.

She let Jungeun take control of the kiss, feeling her hands on her jaw once again, while her own moved to the blonde’s hips, pulling her closer. Jungeun tasted like alcohol and normally Jinsoul wouldn’t really like the taste, but with the other girl, it was everything beyond good.

She couldn’t describe the feeling in her stomach, her heart beating crazier by every passing second, but she knew one thing for sure. She didn’t want it to stop.

She felt Jungeun's tongue brushing across her lips, silently asking for permission to enter her mouth, that the princess gave off so easily, that in the next moment she felt their tongues dancing against each other’s in a perfect sync. Jungeun moved down, attacking her jaw and neck with wet, open mouthed kisses and Jinsoul couldn’t hold her soft, light moans back anymore.

“Jungeun…” she whispered, feeling the need to have the girls mouth on her own again, so she put her hands on her cheeks, pulling her back up against her.

She didn’t know how long it lasted. It felt like hours, just the two of them in the dark, making out with the loud music in the back, but the next thing Jinsoul knew was that they were back in the living room again, slightly out of breath after Sooyoung opened the door of the closet to inform them the seven minutes were over. Jinsoul was a bit embarrassed by what happened, unlike the blonde, who seemed to walk out of the closet with pride written all over her face. She looked hot. Really, really hot, and if they weren’t in a house full of drunk college students, she would pull Jungeun back in the safe place of the closet, kissing her until she had the energy to do so.

She sat down next to Haseul, who chuckled lightly before whispering something in Jinsoul's ear.

“Imagine what your mother would do if she found out, that her precious daughter just full on made out with a girl in a closet of some random party.”

And Jinsoul did, breaking out in loud laughter with Haseul. Only the thought was enough to make them crack.

“Okay, tone it down you too.” Sooyoung said. “While you were making out we were playing truth or truth, for your information. Jungeun, you're up next. Who’s a better kisser me or Jinsoul?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows at the blonde.

Jinsoul's smile faded a bit at the newly found out information. Sooyoung and Jungeun…? Wasn’t Sooyoung dating that girl next to her?

“Oh my god, forget about that already.” Jungeun rolled her eyes. “That is the worst drunken mistake of my life. Jiwoo please shut your hoe up, before I will with my fist.”

Jiwoo – Sooyoung's girlfriend, as it seemed – whispered something in the ears of the older girl, who immediately started shattering a full of apology to Jungeun, but insisted on her to answer anyway.

“If you want to know that badly… Jinsoul is way better kisser.” She winked at the princess, making her blush.

“Yeah, right. Lie to yourself.” Sooyoung scoffed. “Next. Haseul.” She smiled mischievously. “You are the personal maid of the future queen of our country, right?”

“Yeah, but don’t even start with it. I won't tell you anything about her. I legally can't.” Haseul said.

It was true. No one in the castle, let it be a maid of a guard could legally say anything about any member of the royal family to the public. They always found their way to find out and punish them.

“No personal stuff, just answer one question. On a scale from one to ten… how much of a bitch is the princess?” Sooyoung laughed, followed by everyone around her.

Okay, wow. Jinsoul felt a bit attacked here, considering Sooyoung just called her a bitch and everyone seemingly agreed. Even Jungeun was laughing, which was the most hurtful for Jinsoul. She didn’t react, only turned her head away, stealing a glance at Haseul. The girl looked shocked, staring back at Jinsoul before lightly chuckling.

Was Haseul thinking that about her as well? Could she think that, while Jinsoul thought the world of her?

“Don’t say that.” Haseul said. “They are not that bad.”

“Not that bad? I heard the king is and asshole and the queen is an uptight bitch.” Sooyoung laughed, throwing her head back.

Okay, Jinsoul could actually agree with that. Her parents weren’t the kindest people around and her mother was annoyingly noble sometimes, but at the same time, they were her parents. No matter how shitty they treated her, she still somewhat loved them.

“I heard the princesses are annoying and bitchy.” Jiwoo said.

“Yeah, and that they are so full of themselves, that they make everyone in the castle do what they want all day.” Another boy said.

“And the older one is egoistic and humiliates others.”

“The younger is dumb as a rock.”

Jinsoul listened to the things people said about her and her family, wider and wider assumptions with every person joining in. Was this really what they thought about her? This is how everyone saw the royal family, dumb, ego centered and cruel? No matter how she tried, she couldn’t hide her disappointment. Before she could say anything, Haseul stopped the people spreading rumors around them.

“Okay, stop. Most of these things don’t make any sense.” She rolled her eyes. “Anyways, I can't say anything, but… the princess, she's one of the best person I know. Once she will be the queen, the country will for sure be a much better place for everyone.” She smiled at Jinsoul.

The princess felt her heart fluttering at the kind words. If Haseul trusted her to be a good queen, then she knew she will be, until her best friend is by her side.

“I heard the prince is an asshole.” Jinsoul said out of nowhere, breaking the awkward silent that settled after what Haseul said.

“I can't even argue with that.” Haseul laughed.

They played a few more rounds, asking embarrassing questions from each other, until Jinsoul felt herself getting tired of the place. Sure, she liked the people around her, but she wanted to see the town itself. She excused herself, telling Haseul that she would leave on her own for a bit. The brunette didn’t want to let her go at first, but after Jinsoul promised she would be at the door, where they exited the castle, she let her go.

She said her goodbye to everyone else and she almost teared up, when Jiwoo – during a bone cracking hug – told her to come by some other time too, so they could become friends. She knew she would probably never see them again and after they found out who she was, they would hate her, like they hated the rest of the family, but it didn’t matter. She couldn’t do anything about it now.

A moment later she was standing in the air, wondering where she should go now.

“You planned on leaving without saying goodbye?” she heard a voice from behind her, making her turn around. She found herself eye to eye with a blonde she didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to. Jungeun was in the bathroom and Jinsoul thought it would be better to leave like this, because if the blonde told her not to go, she wouldn’t.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to… disappear like that.” Jinsoul said, feeling a bit ashamed.

“Do you really have to go?”

“Why? Want me to stay so bad?” the princess joked, but Jungeun took it seriously.

“What if I do? Would you stay if I asked you to?”

Jinsoul thought for a moment. Would she? She probably would, yes, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to roam the streets of the town, enjoying the night on her own, while getting to know her legacy.

At the same time… she wanted to spend more time with Jungeun. She was… different. So much different from anyone she ever met at the castle. Through princesses and queens, maids and servants, she never met anyone who would get her attention like she did. She decided she could be selfish, if only for one night.

“Would you want to come with me?” she asked suddenly. The princess didn’t know what got into her, but something in her mind told her, that she couldn’t let Jungeun go.

“I- really? Where?” Jungeun asked, taken aback.

“I don’t know. Just… around town. Show me your favorite places in town.”

It was bold, Jinsoul knew. If Jungeun found out who she was and told anyone, she could be in a lot of trouble in the future. There was also the possibility, that she would say no. for a second, the princess thought about what she would do if Jungeun said she would rather stay at the party and it – for some reason – hurt to think about. She didn’t have to wait long for the answer, because a second later the blonde was already by her side.

“Okay, follow me.” She said.

The princess looked after her, blinked a few times before actually moving forward. She was happy, that Jungeun said yes and actually got to spend time with the blonde, but at the same time she felt a bit awkward. She never had a real conversation with someone else other than Haseul or spent time with someone she was interested in more than a friendly way.

Because yes. Jinsoul couldn’t deny the fact, that despite knowing her for an hour or so, she felt something between the two of them. That kiss that they shared in the closet felt so intimate, so out of ordinary, that she couldn’t thing about anything else for the rest of the game. Sure, she had a minor crush one time, but nothing more. No romantic dates, no kisses under the moonlight, no nothing.

But it wasn’t a bad thing. Jinsoul didn’t want her first kiss to be with some boy who she didn’t know. Sure, she knew close to nothing about Jungeun too, but she felt a certain type of connection between the two of them.

She blindly followed the girl anywhere she took her. First, Jungeun took her to her favorite mini shop. Jinsoul couldn’t understand at first why would anyone have a store as one of their favorite places, out of all, but once they entered she understood. The blonde seemed to know the elderly man behind the counter, who greeted the blonde with a big, bright smile.

“Jungeun, honey.”

“Good evening, Mr. Kim.” Jungeun smiled at the man. “How’s your night so far?”

“Much better that you're here.” The man pinched her cheek. Jungeun accepted it, it seemed like she was used to it already. “Do you want your usual?”

“Yes, but two please.” She looked back at the princess. “I have a friend with me this time.”

“Oh, hello dear.” He smiled at Jinsoul.

“Good evening, sir.”

“Call me Mr. Kim, please.”

“Mr. Kim owns this place and he makes the best corndogs in the town. Come on, let's buy some things while he prepares them.” Jungeun said, pulling Jinsoul away by her arm.

Jinsoul saw this kind of little stores in movies and kdramas, but never thought she would see one in real life. The blonde lead her to a shelf full of instant food and drinks.

“What is your favorite?” she asked, but the princess didn’t know what to answer. She never had instant food or carbonated drinks. Her mother would yell at her for a solid fifteen minutes if she even dared to drink anything out of a can.

“I… I’ll have whatever you do.”

“Alrighty…” Jungeun grabbed two cans of peach flavored drinks and two hot chicken flavored instant cup ramen. If that is what Jungeun liked, that Jinsoul would be fine with it too, she thought. “With the corndog, this is the best we could go with for now. I’ll go and ask Mr. Kim to prepare these bad boys too, until that you can look around, find something you might like.”

“Oh, okay. Wait, my purse is here somewhere.” The princess searched in her pocket, but was quickly stopped by the blonde.

“No, it's on me, don’t worry. Maybe you could find something for dessert to pay me back.” She winked at the older girl.

With that, Jinsoul was left alone. She started looking around the store, finding almost nothing that she was allowed to eat or drink in the castle. No candy or chocolate, nothing with carbohydrate or sugar was allowed in her home, everything was strictly monitored by her mother. She decided to take a few bars of chocolate she saw in movies, a few different kinds of gummies and other five types of candies along with some chips, until she had no room left in her arms for more.

She carried them to the counter, dropping it in front of the old man and the blonde, who were having a conversation.

“You have a sweet tooth, huh?” the man joked. “Even Jungeun wouldn’t be able to eat that much sugar and believe me, I saw her eating three packs of gummy bears in one sitting.”

“Yeah and I regretted it as soon as I got home.” The blonde laughed.

“Yeah um… I would like to pay for these.” Jinsoul smiled awkwardly, giving the man the money for it.

“Alright… here you go.” Mr. Kim put the candies in a bag and gave it to the princess. Meanwhile, she placed two corndogs on the counter whit the two cups of ramen noodles, hot and ready. “Here, enjoy your meal, girls.”

The two of them said their thank you’s and Jungeun lead them outside, where a few tables waited for whoever wanted to have a seat and enjoy their food there.

It was really peaceful there, Jinsoul noticed. Jungeun put the food and drinks in front of them and started eating her food, signaling for Jinsoul to do the same. She lifter her chopstick to her mouth, tasting the ramen carefully. It was something she never experienced before.

“Wow… this is… really good.” She said with wide eyes.

“You never had this kind before?”

“I… I don’t really eat stuff like this, actually.” She admitted.

“Really? Like… nothing like this?”

“No. My mom… she never let me to eat anything unhealthy, actually.”

“Oh… sorry. If I knew I wouldn’t-“

“No, it's okay. I needed this actually. It's nice to be here.”

Jungeun's guilty eyes softened, blushing a bit. They continued eating their food in silence, before Jungeun spoke up.

“Wanna know why this is one of my favorite places in town?” Jinsoul nodded, eating still, as she waited for the blonde to continue. “When I was around twelve, I heard my parents having a big fight one night. They rarely fight actually, but that one was… big. They yelled at each other and my mother threw a plate at my father’s head – which actually really funny if I think back at it, because ever since then, my father brings it up from time to time and we always have a really good laugh about it – so it was a mess. I had a hard time in school too that day. A girl started picking on me and I cried in front of the class embarrassing myself.”

“Anyways, I had enough of the yelling and sneaked out of the house and… I didn’t know where I was going, honestly, but about an hour later I got hungry and found myself here. Mr. Kim was so kind to me, payed for my food, because of course I have no money on me. I was twelve, after all. I ate my food and he started asking things about me, why I was here alone and what my parents’ phone number was, so they could take me home, but I was too stubborn to tell him any of that. I didn’t want to go home yet and he get it. He stayed here with me, until I finally called my mom. I thought they didn’t even notice I was gone, but they did. They were really worried and even forget what they were fighting about as they were searching for her around town. It was nice, knowing that they cared about me that much. Ever since then I come here if I have a hard time or want someone to talk to, because I know Mr. Kim will always be here for me, you know?”

Jinsoul nodded. She knew that feeling very well.

“Thank you for shearing this with me. I can see he really loves you.”

“Yeah… in the past seven years he became something like a best friend to me. Or… a grandpa.” Jungeun chuckled.

“I can see him as one.” Jinsoul nodded.

“Oh he is one. That’s how I met Jiwoo. She's Mr. Kim’s granddaughter.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, he introduced me a little after I met him and she became my best friend. She's a little too loud sometimes, but she's the kindest person I met.”

She really seemed like one, Jinsoul thought. Such as Sooyoung and the others she met at the party. It must be nice to have that many friends.

“Can I ask something personal?” Jinsoul asked.

“Go ahead.”

“When you said you had… family problems earlier… was it because of your parents?” she asked, trying not to upset Jungeun.

“Oh no. They… they are not like that, usually. It's um… my father, he owned a store near our home, but guess what? The king decided to shut down half of them in the town, and ours was one of it.” Jungeun said. Her didn’t look at Jinsoul once.

“I'm… I'm really sorry.”

“It's not like it's your fault.” Jungeun smiled sadly, opening her canned drink and taking a few sips of it.

But it was, somewhat. What her father did was also her fault. Jinsoul put this one problem to the list of hers, that contained all the things she wanted to fix if she became a queen. Jungeun's family deserved so much better.

“What about your family? You said you had… family problems too.”

Oh yeah.” Jinsoul smiled sadly. She couldn’t tell her anything, but maybe she could, only a part of it. “It's complicated. My parents… they expect me to do whatever they say and now, their new… thing, is to get me a husband.”

“Wait, like and arranged wedding or something?” Jungeun widened her eyes.

“Kind of? Yeah. I… I don’t… want it to happen, but I can't say no to them. My mother is a really strict woman and my father does whatever she tells her to do, so… yeah.”

“I'm really sorry, Jinsoul.” Jungeun said, taking the princesses hand in hers. “If I can do anything, if you need a place to hide from your crazy family, you can call me.” She joked, but Jinsoul didn’t laugh. She squeezed Jungeun's hand, knowing what she said wasn’t just a joke. She meant it and Jinsoul didn’t want anything else, then to do just like she said, running away from the castle and live a normal life.

She wondered about that a few times already. She could have a normal life, be a cashier or a fast food worker, anything but a princess. She wanted that. A lot of times, she wanted a normal life and a normal future.

Maybe this was what she needed. She was out of the castle, a girl she liked offered her a place to stay if she needed it. Maybe… maybe she didn’t need to go home. Her sister would be a much better queen that she ever would be and the country would be in good hands.

Jinsoul was sure her parents wouldn’t miss her, nor her brother. Her parents also wouldn’t want the whole country to find out their first born daughter didn’t want the throne, so she moved to the town to have a normal life.

“A-are you alright?” Jungeun put her chopstick down, pulling the other girl into a hug. That was, when the princess noticed a few tears rolling down her cheeks.

“O-oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to cry like this.” She chuckled, hugging Jungeun back. She couldn’t explain it but… Jungeun was warm. Her hug felt like home.

Her sweet perfume filled Jinsoul's nose, making her wish she could stay there forever with her, with Jungeun between her arms. It felt too good.

Until the blonde pulled away, but their face stayed close to each other, so close Jinsoul felt the blonde’s breath on her skit. Her eyes fell to Jungeun's lips, thinking about the moment they shared in that closet. She licked her own lips and before she knew what was happening, she found herself leaning in for a kiss.

They both did, actually. Jinsoul felt the soft lips of hers for the second time of the night. It took only a second for their lips to move in sync against each other. It was a quick kiss before they pulled away, but enough for Jinsoul to fell an unfamiliar feeling in her stomach, the same one he felt in the closet before.

“Wow…” Jungeun smiled, licking her lips. Her eyes found Jinsoul's and both of them broke out in an awkward chuckling. “Sorry um… I just-“

“I know. So… where are we going next?”

…

The next stop was at a park. Since it was already past midnight when they got there, there was no one around at that time. Jungeun led the princess to a bench that apparently is her favorite.

“How can you have a favorite bench?” Jinsoul laughed.

“It just is. Just look around, this is literally the best bench here. It's placed so well.”

Jinsoul took a look around them. The park wasn’t that big of a deal, only a simple park with a little playground on the side for kids. Jungeun was alright. The bench was located on a spot where you could see almost everything, starting from the playing kids to the street, where Jinsoul guessed a lot of cars passed by when it was daytime. She wished she could come back here then, to see normal people living their normal, almost uneventful lives, doing their everyday activities.

“I guess you're right.” She smiled at the younger girl.

“Of course. I'm always right.” Jungeun teased her, getting a bit closer to the princess on the bench. Jinsoul took the opportunity and took Jungeun's hand, intertwining their fingers together. Jungeun blushed at the sudden touch, but welcomed it with no problems.

They sat there for a while in silence, enjoying the night air on their skin. Jungeun eventually got braver, leaned her head on Jinsoul's shoulder, who turned to the side to kiss her head. She really, really liked the feeling Jungeun gave her in the past few hours they’ve known each other. She liked her and wished she could stay to get to know her more, to take her out on dated and to just spend all her free time with her.

Deep down she felt guilty already, knowing Jungeun probably felt the same, or something similar, but she knew she couldn’t stay. She had to get back to the castle to meet her future husband and probably will never see the blonde again.

She hated it. She hated all the responsibilities she had for her family, that she had to be something she never wanted to be. But if she wasn’t up for being a queen, then who would? Her sister, who wanted nothing more than to escape their family, just like her? Or her brother, who would be a worst king than their father, leading their country to fail? She couldn’t let that happen. She didn’t want to let that happen.

She took a look at Jungeun, who must have sensed her uneasiness, lifting her head to look at her in return. She smiled at the princess, making her heart beat faster.

“You know,” the blonde started. “If someone told me I would meet a funny, beautiful and kind girl like you tonight… I would probably laugh at their face.”

“Why?” Jinsoul chucked. “So you think I'm pretty, huh?” she joked.

“Shut up, you literally are gorgeous.” Jungeun leaned away from the girl, blushing. “I mean… I have one of the worst weeks of mine behind me and I had no intentions to even go to that party, you know? Jiwoo basically had to drag me there, but…”

“But?”

“But… I'm really happy I went there. Because I met you.” she locked eyes with Jinsoul again, smiling brightly at her.

“I'm happy Haseul took me there too.” she whispered.

She was about to lean in for a kiss, when Jungeun playfully took the bag from her hand. “When I told you to buy some candies, I didn’t mean to buy every kind of them, you know?” she laughed, looking through the candies, taking a bag of chips out.

“I- I have to be honest. I don’t really… eat things like this.” She admitted, chuckling as she watched Jungeun's face freezing, her mouth now full of chips.

“What?” she widened her eyes. “You never… why? Or more like how?”

Jinsoul chuckled, enjoying the younger girl’s reaction. She took a piece of chips out of the beg, tasting it. it was good, chicken flavored, she noticed. “My mom never really let me eat these kind of things, just like with ramen, you know. It's… yeah. It's a bit hard with her.”

“But… how did you grow up then? Like, a normal child needs these kinds of things. Even if it's unhealthy, it won't hurt from time to time.”

“Oh try to tell that to my mother, who’s main goal in life is to make ours hell.” She chuckled, even if she felt like dying at the thought of it alone. She hated it and how her mother never let her have a normal childhood.

“Sorry to say that, but… her mother sounds like a bitch.” Jungeun whispered, making the blonde laugh.

“Oh she kind of is. But… she's still my mom, you know? Not like my father is better, he’s an asshole too but…” she took a look at Jungeun, who’s eyes were on her already. She gave her a smiled, opening another bag of chips, since Jungeun seemed to finish the one in her hand already. “Sorry, didn’t mean to bother you with my stupid family drama.”

“No, you're not bothering me. I feel like you don’t really talk about these things, so… I'm here to listen, any time you need someone.”

“Thanks…” Jinsoul blushed. Other than Haseul, there was no one who listened to her. no one cared about her feelings, really.

“But if you don’t feel like talking about it, tell me how you met Haseul.”

“Oh…” Jinsoul panicked. She hadn’t really thought about a proper story of how they met. She had no idea if Haseul told them anything, but if she did and she were to say something completely different thing to Jungeun, she would be fucked. “We… um… I met her through… her mom.” She said. It was somewhat the truth, but not all of it.

“Her mom?” Jungeun frowned.

“Y-yeah. My mom knew her mom, so we got introduced to each other not so long ago and… became friends.”

“Weird… Haseul said you two were childhood friends.”

Fuck.

“I-I mean yeah. We met when we were kids, but I… we moved away. I… came back for… visiting family.” She said, hoping it was convincing enough. She saw Jungeun's face fall.

“Oh… so you’re not from here?”

“No, just… visiting.”

“H-how long will you stay?”

“I have to go home tomorrow morning. Or today, since it's already past midnight.” She tried to joke, but Jungeun didn’t smile. She watched the blonde’s gaze felling to the ground. “Did I… say something bed?”

“No I just… I hoped we could… um… hang out more in the future.” Jungeun admitted, looking sad. “But, whatever, it's nothing.” She tried to brush it off like nothing happened.

Jinsoul put the bag of chips down, taking Jungeun's hands instead. The younger looked at her with sad eyes, leaning her head on her shoulder once again. Jinsoul gave the crown of her head a sweet, light kiss before speaking up.

“I'm sorry… I didn’t mean to… I don’t know. I didn’t mean to act like-“

“Like there could be something between us?”

“No. Jungeun, please look at me.” The blonde lifted her head, looking at the princess. “I want to get to know you too. I really, really like you and… I think I have never met someone like you before. Someone so… sweet. I want to get to know you too, but…”

“But you have to go home. I get it.” Jungeun said.

“I'm sorry.” Jinsoul whispered. “I wish I could stay.”

“For real?”

“For real.” Jinsoul chuckled. “I don’t want to go back, if I want to be honest.”

“Then why won't you? If you don’t want to go back, then… what makes you do it?”

“It's complicated.”

It really is. She couldn’t just tell her she had to go back to the castle to marry a stranger and be the queen. Eventually, she would find out. Jinsoul wondered what will Jungeun thing when she will see her face on the news as the next leader of the country. She wondered what will she think, seeing the girl who she spent passionate kisses and meaningful conversations with on a random night in May, getting married to a guy in front of the public. That is what waited for Jinsoul, despite how much she wished to escape that situation.

So she couldn’t say anything else. She couldn’t just tell her the truth, she couldn’t explain. There was no way. Not because she didn’t want her to know. There was nothing more she wanted, then to tell Jungeun the truth, ask her to help her escape, but if someone from the castle – more likely her family – found out someone knew who she was, if they found out what she did with Jungeun, the blonde would suffer some serious consequences.

She didn’t want her to get in trouble. She was worried for the girl, more than she was worried for anyone else in her life before.

“Then… can we meet…?” Jungeun asked carefully. “Or just… keep in touch after you leave?”

“I would like that, yes. I don’t know if I can come back any time in the future… but if you give me your number-“

“I can. My phone is here somewhere, wait a bit…” Jungeun cut her off, looking for her phone, only to drop it as soon as she fished it out from her pocket. Jinsoul chucked at her, finding the younger girl’s reaction really cute.

Jungeun handed her phone to Jinsoul, who took it and wrote her number in it, hoping that her parents won’t find out about it. When she was younger they never allowed her to have a private like, basically. They looked at her messages, her pictures, tracking her phone down. She hoped they stopped it, after all she is an adult now, she should be allowed to have a private life, right?

“Here. But promise you will message me.” She gave the phone back, jokingly teasing the girl, but she was serious about it. She really hoped for Jungeun to message her, even if it would only last for about a month, until the blonde found out about her true identity.

“Oh I will. You won’t be able to get rid of me, Soul.”

“Soul?” She smiled at the nickname.

“Y-yeah. Don’t you… like it? I just wanted to think… of a nickname.” Jungeun panicked.

“I… no, I like it. Actually… No one ever gave me a… nickname.” She admitted.

Her parents never called her anything but ‘Jinsoul’ or ‘Daughter’. Her siblings referred to her as her name as well and Haseul – because she had to – called her ‘Princess Jinsoul’ or just ‘Jinsoul’. Now, Jungeun gave her a nickname and she really liked it. The way Jungeun said it… it made her feel happiness, it made her feel something she never felt before.

“Okay then… Soul.”

“But… it’s only fair if I gave you a nickname too, right?”

“I guess so. People usually call me Jungie or Jung, but you can call me whatever you want.”

“Hmm… so then can I call you… mine?” Jinsoul asked, immediately regretting it and cringing at herself, as Jungeun broke out in a loud laughter – Jinsoul noticed the blonde laughed with her whole body, almost falling off of the bench, she fell a bit further for the girl because of it. “Was it that bad?” she asked, awkwardly chuckling.

“No, it’s just… sorry.” Jungeun calmed down a bit, still laughing under her breath. “It was… a bit cringe.”

“Okay, yeah sorry. Just… forget it. I’ll just call you Jungie.” She hid her face in her hands, embarrassed.

“No, I’m sorry.” Jungeun chuckled, pulling Jinsoul’s hands away from her face, holding them in her own. “As I said… you call me whatever you want. Even if you want to call me… that.”

The blonde pulled the princess in for a kiss. It started feeling natural for both of them, like they have been doing it for ages and Jinsoul liked it. She liked how her lips seemed to react to the other girl’s, how they moved along with each other, she liked the taste of the sweets Jungeun previously ate and the light taste of the whiskey still lingering on her lips after all this time.

Jungeun pulled away a bit first, out of breath. She was still close, Jinsoul could feel her breathe against her lips still. “I like kissing you.” The blonde whispered.

“I like kissing you too…” Jinsoul said, stealing another sweet kiss. “What should we do next? It’s already… 3 am.” Jinsoul checked her phone.

It made her heart sink into her stomach, realizing she had almost close to no time left before she had to go back to the castle.

“I don’t know… do you… want to go to my place?” Jungeun offered.

The princess saw a lot of movies, so she understood what she meant by that. She wasn’t sure. Maybe Jungeun only meant to have a conversation or to relax before the sun came up.

“We could continue the kissing there and… maybe more.” Jungeun blushed at her own words. Jinsoul found it really cute.

“I… okay. Let’s go.” She said.

One night. This was the only night of her life that she could do whatever she wanted and it would be a wasted opportunity, if she wouldn’t just live for once. With Jungeun, she felt like she was in the clouds, in another land, another universe, where it was only just them.

Jungeun lead the way, their hands still intertwined, swinging between their bodies. They talked about little things, laughing along the way until they arrived to Jungeun’s flat. It wasn’t anything big. It was a one-bedroom flat and the princess couldn’t help but to notice, that the whole flat was the size of her own room and bathroom.

She didn’t mind it. She liked it, the little living room with one single couch and a tv, the kitchen, almost perfectly clean. However, she couldn’t take a better look at anything, because as soon as they arrived Jungeun pushed her into a room, her bedroom, and pinned Jinsoul down on the bed, attacking her neck with hungry kisses.

It happened so fast, that Jinsoul had a hard time keeping up, but didn’t mind it. She never had sex, giving that she never felt any kind of feeling for anyone and her parents protected her, keeping her away from things like this as much as they could.

However, this time she felt something, because being naked with her felt right. Falling asleep with the blonde snuggled into her neck felt right. Simply being with Jungeun felt right and she didn’t want it to stop.

She listened to Jungeun’s breathing as she was already asleep, staring at the ceiling. It was almost five in the morning and she knew it was almost time to go, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to stay, to sleep for a day and wake up with Jungeun still by her side, maybe making her breakfast or taking her somewhere fancy to eat something.

That would be nice, she thought. She closed her eyes, imagining a life, where she wasn’t a princess. Where she was just another friend of Haseul, getting invited to a random party and getting to know the most perfect girl on earth. She imagined how her life would turn out, if she could stay, being with Jungeun and having friends with normal people, being just a normal girl.

Jinsoul opened her eyes and- no.

The sun shone into her eyes, blinding her for a moment before she started searching for her phone. She also noticed that Jungeun wasn’t there anymore and that her phone died over night. She quickly took her clothes back on before she left the bedroom, finding Jungeun in the kitchen with only an oversized shirt on. She stopped for a moment to stare at her, how beautiful and perfect she looked in the morning. The scent of fresh pancake travelled through her nostrils as she got closer. She wrapped her arms around the blonde’s waist, kissing her neck a few times and earning a quiet laugh from her. It was sweet, waking up to this first in the morning. So sweet, that for a moment she forgot she shouldn’t be there.

“Hi.” Jungeun turned around, wrapping her arms around Jinsoul’s neck. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did… w-what time is it” Jinsoul asked. It was bright outside, but she hoped it wasn’t that late already. Maybe she still had time to get to the castle.

“A little over 2 pm, I wouldn’t have thought you were a heavy sleeper. Anyways, I made some breakfast, which is basically… a late dinner?” Jungeun chuckled.

2 pm. Fuck.

Jinsoul widened her eyes as she pulled away. She had to get back. Her parents will literally kill her and for what? For a night spent with a total stranger?

“I-I have to go.” She shattered. She took her things, not in the mood to leave Jungeun at all, but she had to. “I’m sorry.”

She heard Jungeun shouting her name, calling her back and trying to go after her, but she couldn’t turn around. If she did, she was sure she wouldn’t go home. She would run into Jungeun’s flat and locked herself up in there with only the two of them, not letting the world to find her.

When she finally got to the street it was different. When she arrived it was almost empty, but now? Now it was full of adults and students, people walking their dogs. Jinsoul didn’t know what to do for a moment. The castle wasn’t that far, but she didn’t know the way to get there, that is why she promised Haseul she would get back to her in the morning. Guess she fucked that up too. Haseul must be really angry with her too.

She didn’t know what to do. Should she get a taxi? No, it would be quite suspicious that she would want to get to the castle. She could walk, but with no phone and no map, she had no idea where she was at the time, what direction to go.

The door behind her suddenly flew open, reviling Jungeun, now in casual clothes.

“Why did you run out like that?” she asked Jinsoul, who was confusedly standing, observing the world around her.

“I…” she could finish. She felt like her throat closing up, the air disappearing from her lungs, not letting any more into it.

It was too much. She couldn’t breathe. She needed everything to stop.

“H-hey, Jinsoul? Are you okay?” Jungeun asked, bringing a hand to the princess’s cheek.

As soon as she felt Jungeun’s hand, Jinsoul felt much better. Everything stopped, everything went silent, the only sound she heard was Jungeun’s voice, asking her to breathe. So she did. She breathed just like the blonde asked her to, in and out slowly and steadily. Soon enough she felt much better, but the panic and anxiety didn’t disappear fully.

She needed to get home, now.

“It’s okay… It’s okay.” Jungeun caressed her cheek. “What can I do to you? What do you need me to do?”

“I need to get home…”

“Okay, come one. My car is in this way.” Jungeun pulled her until they arrived to a car. Jungeun’s car, Jinsoul thought. She got in the passenger seat, while the blonde in the driver’s seat, getting comfortable there. “Okay… give me the address and I will put it in the GPS.” The younger girl smiled.

That was when she realized she will know. If she will let Jungeun take her home, she will found out about who she is and she will hate her for lying to her. At the time she couldn’t think of any other solution on how to get home, Jungeun being her only hope right now.

“T-the castle…” she turned her face away from the other girl. She didn’t need to see her face as she realized what she meant by that.

“Really funny Soul, now give me the real address please.” The blonde laughed.

“Just… could you take me to the castle please?” She asked, hoping Jungeun wouldn’t hear her voice cracking in her middle.

“Okay…” Jungeun gave in, however she wasn’t sure why the older girl asked her to take her there.

The car ride was silent. Jungeun didn’t ask questions and Jinsoul couldn’t get herself to say anything. Her life was basically over. Once she gets back to the castle, her mother is going to lock her up in her room, get her marry that stupid prince, living a life she would never truly be happy with.

There was no other choice, her parents had their ways over her and she would never be allowed to be happy. She wished she would just tell Jungeun everything, to ask her to take her away from the country, away from everything she didn’t want to face.

She looked at the blonde whose eyes were still on the road. Most definitely this will be the last time they will see each other and that broke Jinsoul’s heart. She wished they had more time, she wished she could find out every little thing about Jungeun and her life, everything the blonde may thought would be too boring to tell. She wanted to know everything, as well as to tell Jungeun her deepest secrets and thoughts.

It was only one night they spent together, but Jinsoul never felt like this with anyone before.

Funny, how only a few hours with someone could mean so much to one person, how it could change everything she planned for the future. Before last night she was kind of alright with marrying that prince and live whatever role they wanted her to live by. Now, however?

Now it wasn’t enough. She knew she will never be happy and a life without happiness wasn’t something she wanted.

Jungeun eventually noticed her staring. She looked at the princess for a second before fixing her gaze back at the road.

“Is there something on my face?” she smiled.

“No. Sorry. I’m just… I’m going to miss you.”

“Miss me? We have phones, we can always have a video call.” Jungeun reasoned.

“Yeah… sure.”

They eventually arrived to the bus station, the closest they could get to the castle by car.

“So… will you tell me why I needed to bring you here?” Jungeun asked after turning off the engine.

“I’m not sure what I should say right know.” Jinsoul admitted.

“The truth maybe?”

The truth. Easier said than done, Jinsoul thought. Maybe she should just lie something. That someone will pick her up here, that she will take the bus from here and go home, even though she knew the buses from here only went back in the city they just came from.

Maybe Jungeun would get it. She would understand she was lying and would leave her alone, she would let her go and drove back home, forgetting about her for the rest of her life. Maybe that would be the best for her to do.

But lying to Jungeun felt so… wrong.

“I'm sorry.”

That was it. The only thing she could say before pulling the blonde in for a last, lingering kiss.

After that she didn’t look back. She got out of the car and went back to the castle, trying her best to ignore the way Jungeun yelled her name, how she asked her to go back and at least explain what she meant by that, but she couldn’t. She simply walked back into the castle, knowing her parents must be furious about her where about and that a prince was already waiting for her there – if he still wanted to marry her after this.

She knew this was pretty much the moment she walked away from her happiness, a girl who she saw herself loving in another universe, where she was destined to be happy.

Sadly, in this wasn’t another life, this wasn’t another universe. This was her reality, the one, where her happiness wasn’t the most important thing for anyone around her. A reality, where true love wasn’t an option.

Jinsoul should have known this from the start, she shouldn’t have left the castle last night, because now that she saw what was outside of the gates of the royal palace she called home, she realized she will never be able to forget how Jungeun made her feel.

How freedom felt.

…

It was confusing at first. Jungeun didn’t understand why Jinsoul never texted her, why she never contacted her after that night.

She came to a conclusion that the girl only wanted a one-night stand, that all the promises they made about keeping in touch were just simple lies and she didn’t mean any of them.

That is what she made herself believe in.

Because if she would to acknowledged the truth – that would hurt way more than she could take – , that the girl she spent the best night of her life with, who she childishly imagined being part of her future, the girl she may have fell for at first sight didn’t want anything from her. That the night that meant so much for Jungeun didn’t mean anything for her.

Every night after going to bed Jungeun remembered how it was to have Jungeun in her bed, cuddling up to her. She may have been imagining it, but she could have sworn she could still smell Jinsoul's expensive perfume on her pillow, the one she never really uses. The one that’s just there, taking up the empty space beside her in bed, waiting for someone to use it, because Jungeun usually didn’t.

And even now, three weeks after that night with Jinsoul, she could still smell her every time she leaned closer to that pillow.

She tried everything. She washed it what seemed like hundred times, she sprayed it with her own perfume, but nothing helped. Jinsoul never seemed to fully leave her apartment.

She wondered how a girl she knew for only a few hours could have had that kind of impact on her whole life. Every day she thought about Jinsoul. What was she doing, if she had a good time back at home. She wondered if her mother was still bothering her.

It was silly, giving that the other girl probably never ever thought about her, but she couldn’t help is. She was sad, she was mad and she felt like a complete idiot.

A lot of things happened in the past three weeks, but some things never change. Just like the way Sooyoung and Jiwoo argued with each other every day and night.

Something about the way they fought about the littles things on a random Friday night while having a get together with their friends made Jungeun relax.

Apart from the couple and herself, Haseul was there too with Kahei by her side. Jungeun found out not so long ago, that Haseul enrolled in their college too after leaving her work at the palace. None of them really knew what happened and the girl didn’t tell them either, but it didn’t seem like she left on her own.

It was supposed to be a simple movie night, however news of the princess’ birthday party got spread on twitter, saying that the princess, the future queen of their country will appear in front of cameras for the first time.

Haseul protested against watching it, but she beside Sooyoung and Jiwoo, who were both really interested in the princess she had no chance. Jungeun didn’t really care, she wasn’t in a good mood anyway, so she let them do whatever they wanted.

However, when the princess stepped into the luxurious looking ballroom, that was at least three times bigger than her flat her eyes widened, breath stuck in her throat.

She knew that face, the girl on tv with a very princess looking blue dress, she knew her.

After all, that was the face of the girl she had been dreaming about in the past three weeks. For a good five second none of them said anything, until Sooyoung turned to Haseul and started bombing her with questions. Of course they remembered the mysterious girl too, who Haseul bought into that party weeks ago, who they never heard of before.

Haseul was known to have a lot of friends, she was childhood friends with Sooyoung, so they pretty much knew all her friends, except Jinsoul.

Jinsoul, who just appeared one day out of nowhere and left without a word, without ever hearing about her again. Jinsoul, who was funny, pretty and kind. Who promised Jungeun they would stay in touch in the future, because she liked the blonde and she liked her back.

Jinsoul, who was a princess. The princess.

Suddenly Jungeun understood what happened. Not everything, but the way Jinsoul talked about her parents, her family, how she said sorry before disappearing and never looking back again.

The blonde tried to ignore Haseul's tired voice as she tried to explain how she got Jinsoul out of the palace that night. She couldn’t take her eyes off the princess’ figure in the tv screen, looking more beautiful than ever.

Of course she was already beyond pretty that night they met, but seeing her like this, with full make up in a dress that radiated power and elegance, Jungeun lost it.

Jinsoul was eternally beautiful.

Than it suddenly hit her.

She kissed the princess.

Fuck, she slept with the princess.

That was for sure more information for a night than she could handle, but it seemed like it wasn’t over.

“And now, let me introduce you to someone else too.” The king said, standing beside his daughter with a smile Jungeun didn’t like. A young, tall man stepped into the room, elegant and good looking. She walked beside the princess, taking her hand in his own, intertwining their fingers and making Jungeun's heart shutter. He introduced himself as ‘Prince Hwan’. Jungeun never heard of him before. “Prince Hwan and our beautiful daughter, Jinsoul will have the first dance of the night as the celebrated Princess and her Prince. Also, we would like to announce that the young couple beside me will held their wedding two weeks from now, becoming the next rulers of our country, as me and my beloved wife will give the throne to them.”

Well that hurt, Jungeun thought. Surely, finding out that the girl she practically fell in love with over one night was a princess was a bit much for her liking, but finding out right after, that said girl is about to get married in such short period of time made her feel something else.

Anger, because Jinsoul didn’t tell her who she was, neither did Haseul. Sadness, because she realized she will most probably never meet, hug or kiss Jinsoul again. Anger again, because the girl she loved was with someone else and was about to get married to him.

She wondered, was she just some kind of experiment for the princess? Was she just some random girl for the princess who she felt nothing for? When Jungeun told her things about herself, about her family, that she never told anyone else before, not even her closest friends, did Jinsoul laughed at her in her mind, thinking how naïve and pathetic she was?

She probably did and that hurt even more than the fact the girl lied to her.

Jungeun excused herself, saying she needed to get some fresh air, but she never returned. She took her stuff and walked back home, holding the tears at the back of her eyes, not letting them fall until she got home.

She hit the bed, finally letting all her anger out, feeling lost and betrayed. But why was she feeling like that, if it was only one night she got to spend with the other girl? It was one night, she shouldn’t have thought that it would mean anything to Jinsoul too, that it could turn into something more in the future. She was really a pathetic loser at this point, living in a daydream.

Jinsoul would never love her. She’s going to marry a prince she loved and would never even think about Jungeun again, she just needed to accept that and move one, right?

Well, that’s easier said than done.

After that night Jungeun tried, she really did.

She tried not to think about the princess, to let her go and move on as she wanted to. Sooyoung and Jiwoo knew nothing about what happened between them and Haseul didn’t say anything either. Jungeun had a feeling she knew, but was glad she kept herself silent.

Life went on, Jungeun tried to forget, but with Jinsoul's face everywhere, it was harder than she thought it would be. From the news to every kind of social media platform, through newspapers and random stickers on traffic signs and street lamps, Jinsoul's face was everywhere.

Apparently people liked her, some said she will be just like her father and ruin their country more than the king already did, but most citizens had faith in her. She was young, pretty, and had a prince on her side, who most probably would make the most decisions from the moment they become king and queen.

The thought of that only was something Jungeun had a hard time to accept. The girl she got to know that night – or who he thought she got to know – was nothing like someone who would let a man had that kind of power over her, taking her country in his hands. No, the girl Jungeun met that night was independent, a little lost, but dedicated to what was waiting for her in life.

Maybe that was the real Jinsoul. Maybe she wasn’t a heartless, arrogant princess Jungeun originally thought, but it was so much easier to think about her like that. It was easier to hate her, so she did.

She hated Jinsoul, even if she deep down knew she didn’t.

Time passed and Jungeun found herself in bed the day before the royal wedding, wondering what Jinsoul could do at the time.

Well, given that it was almost midnight, she was sure the princess was sleeping, getting ready mentally for the day before her. Jungeun wished her the best, even if she wanted to despise the girl so much, she wanted her to be happy.

Her thoughts got interrupted by a knock on her door, scaring the shit out of her. It was already past midnight and none of her friends said anything about coming over, so Jungeun was a bit afraid who it could be. She slowly got out of bed and went to the door, opening it slowly.

She couldn’t believe her eyes.

It was her.

It was Jinsoul

She opened the door wider, still in shock. She froze, she couldn’t move. Why was she even there? What was she doing there?

“Hi.” Jinsoul broke the awkward silence with a simple word and a sweet smile Jungeun missed so much.

“H-hi.” She shattered.

“I don’t want to be rude, but… can I come in?” the princess asked. Jungeun didn’t answer her, instead she took a step aside and let the girl in her apartment. She scolded herself quietly for being like that, letting the girl in her home that easily after not hearing anything from her for more than a month.

Jinsoul walked it and sat down on the couch, finders nervously playing with each other. The blonde eventually joined her, awkwardly taking the place beside her. She looked down at her lap, realizing that she was wearing her Winnie the Pooh pajamas. How embarrassing.

Jinsoul on the other hand looked beautiful. She was wearing a simple black hoodie and black pants, but that didn’t matter to the younger. The princess could wear the simplest clothes on earth and she would still be the most beautiful for her.

“I guess… you know.” Jinsoul said, carefully looking at the blonde.

“Yeah…”

“Look I'm sorry.” The princess started. Jungeun was about to say something, but Jinsoul turned to her, took her hands in her own, taking her off guard. “I know I should have told you that night, I know. You must think I'm some kind of bitch, who just used you and I don’t even blame you for that. I lied to you and I will never forget myself for that, but I'm not like that. I'm here to a prove you, that everything I said that night, everything I did was me. It was true, Jungeun.”

The blonde was stunned about this sudden outburst of the girl in front of her. Everything was happening so fast for her to understand every word, but she somehow managed to snap out of it and act. She took her hands back, suddenly feeling like her hands were on fire because of Jinsoul's touch. She wanted it so bad, but felt guilty for it. Her anger was back.

“You… you can’t just come here.” She shook her head. “You can’t walk through my door now, the night before your wedding like this, for… for what? What do you even want from me, Jinsoul? Oh sorry, your highness. Is that how I should call you?” she snapped.

All her anger, all the thoughts that she couldn’t let out in the past month came on surface, making her act the way she didn’t want to act at the time.

“I- Jungeun please. I came here, because…”

“Because what? To humiliate me one more time? To make fun of me? To pay me off, not to tell anyone about that night? If that’s the reason than you can just go, I won’t tell anyone.”

“No, I didn’t come here because of that. I'm here because… because I can’t stop thinking about you Jungeun.” Jinsoul said, looking deep into the blonde’s eyes with a look that made Jungeun wanting to believe her. “Ever since that night I… I just couldn’t think about anything else other than you. I tried to move on, I really did, but I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I went to bed tonight and I realized something… something I didn’t want to admit to myself for a really long time, but I don’t think I can deny it anymore.” The princess once again took Jungeun's hands in her own, now holding them tighter, getting closer to her. She leaned in and rested their foreheads against each other’s, thankful that the blond let her. With eyes still locked, she let everything out, every feeling, every tear she held in for too long. “I'm in love with you Jungeun.”

Jinsoul's quiet whisper made something to Jungeun. Or was it the fact that the girl she loved confessed to her just a second ago? She didn’t know.

“I love you.” The princess closed her eyes. “Please say something.”

“I…” the blonde searched for words to say, but nothing seemed right. She had so much on her mind, even though her anger seemed to disappear in just a second after hearing the other girl’s words. She still wanted to tell her how much she missed her, how she was looking at her phone for weeks, waiting for her call, how much she loved her perfume and how desperately she wanted to see her, that she almost called Haseul to somehow sneak her in the palace. She wanted to tell her so much, but only got one sentence in her mind at that moment. “I love you too.” She whispered.

It took Jinsoul exactly one and a half seconds to lean in and kiss Jungeun's lips, to place a hand behind her neck and pull her closer as their lips moved against each other’s.

This was it. Jungeun knew from that one kiss that Jinsoul wasn’t kidding, because there was no way someone would kiss her like that without feeling anything. Also the fact that she was there with her instead at home just the day before her wedding was-

The wedding, she remembered. No matter how much she wanted Jinsoul, how much she loved her, there were still a lot of things that stood between them, she couldn’t deny that.

“W-wait…” she pushed the princess back gently by her shoulders.

“What is it love?” the other girl asked, making Jungeun's heart flutter at the nickname.

“I think you forget one important thing… you’re supposed to get married tomorrow.”

Jinsoul's smile disappeared, eyes dropping to her hands. “Oh yeah… “

“So… what will happen next? I... I don’t want to lose you again…”

The princess smiled, tacking a single piece of hair behind Jungeun's ears. “They… when I told them that I'm in love with a girl, they gave me two options.” She started. “One was that I forget about you, marry that Prince and live as they want me to live for the rest of my life, but giving me more power over what will happen in the country. The other option was that I leave the family, the castle and never go back.”

“Wait, you… you left…?” Jungeun asked carefully, expecting… she didn’t even know what she expected to be honest.

Did she really want Jinsoul to say she gave up on her family, her life as a princess and eventually a queen? Maybe she did want that, to know that someone loved her to do that for her, to give up everything to be with her, because thinking about it, she would do it. She would gladly give up her whole life for a life with Jinsoul, because that is how much she fell for her. It would worth it and she knew it.

However, Jinsoul's sad smile told her something else. Deep down she knew the answer already, trying to process it and getting ready for what the other girl was about to say.

“I'm so sorry Jungeun.” Jinsoul whispered, closing her eyes as tears escaped her eyes again. “I came here to tell you how I feel, that I love you and… to say goodbye.”

“I-it’s okay, I get it.” Jungeun smiled through her pain, pulling Jinsoul in her embrace. She held the crying girl, telling her it was okay, even though it wasn’t true.

She hated it, her heart broke into millions of pieces and it hurt to process that Jinsoul wasn’t there to stay. She was there to say her goodbye and go, leaving her for a lifetime.

She tried to see the good side of this, that Jinsoul's gonna be a queen and she will most likely make their country a better place, something she obviously wanted. It was a hard decision and even though she wouldn’t give up on love, it wasn’t the same for her.

“I-I can’t give up on my country I… my sister doesn’t want the throne and if I won’t be a queen… I can’t let my brother ruin everything more than my father did. I'm so, so sorry Jungeun.”

“It’s okay… really.” Jungeun whispered, unable to keep her emotions in anymore. She let her tears fell as she hold the girl closer.

Jinsoul decided to stay the night, talking to Jungeun, holding each other until the first ray of sunshine, talking about meaningless things.

Jinsoul wanted to stay, Jungeun knew. She could feel in the morning when they said their last goodbyes, that the princess had no intentions in leaving, but she had to. She kissed the blood one more time before parting and even if it wasn’t something big, just a peak, Jungeun felt love in it. So much love and caring that she never felt ever again and that made her wonder if she will ever find someone like Jinsoul, if she will ever fall in love again.

That thought stayed with her as she later that day sat in front of her tv, watching Jinsoul smiling and telling her vow to a man she never truly loved. It hurt, more than anything, so she called Haseul, who came over as soon as she could, comforting the blonde.

She later on learned that the reason Haseul was fired from the castle was that they found out about her help in helping Jinsoul get out that night. She was forbidden from going back, along with her mom, who even though didn’t do anything bad, had to suffer from her daughter’s mistakes.

Jungeun, after a while learned to deal with the pain. Years passed and she watched as Jinsoul ruled the country as the kindest, most powerful Queen citizens ever saw. Surely, the king wasn’t the main decision maker, he wasn’t the one to rule and be feared like in the past. No, it was Jinsoul's country and everyone could see that.

Jungeun was proud, jealous and sad, but proud.

She still had the chance to watch the girl she loved being a good person and being loved by everyone, becoming someone that she could proudly think back of. Sure, she missed her, she never found anyone else she felt so deep for like Jinsoul, no immediate connections, but she didn’t mind it.

As yeas passed she witnessed a lot of things. Sooyoung and Jiwoo getting married, making their own family. Kahei going back to China, breaking Haseul's heart by the process, even if they knew she never meant to stay after college. She saw as Sooyoung held her first born daughter with so much pride in her eyes, becoming a mother only a year after Jinsoul did two.

She watched as everyone she loved and cared for grew older and happier by each year, while she stayed there in her tiny apartment, head over heels for someone she would never have.

Maybe that was what brought her and Haseul together. They both were in love with someone they couldn’t be with, someone so out of their reach. Jungeun fell in love with Haseul eventually, not the kind of love she felt for Jinsoul, but she surely loved her too, enough to decide on settling down with her for a life.

Despite all the pain she felt, all the misery Jinsoul caused her in her life she was glad it happened. She thought her that no matter how much you love someone, not everything will turn out for the best in the end. Jungeun learned to live with that thought.

She was happy, because for one night, she could be herself, she could say and do whatever she wanted with a girl who thought her what true love was.

And in the end…

One night with her worth more than a thousand spent alone afterwards.