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Sam slumps on their bed, a deep frown forged into his features. Eileen raises a questioning eyebrow from the desk where she was writing in her diary.
“What’s wrong, Sam?” she asks.
Her boyfriend shakes his head. “Dean wants to get Cass back,” he murmurs.
“Of course. You looked for me, too,” she says, her eyebrow travelling even higher up.
“Yes, but…”
Eileen gets up from her chair, scrutinising him. “What but?”
“He said he loved him. That he was in love with him.”
“And?”
Sam gapes at her. “And? You aren’t surprised?”
Eileen chews her lip. “Not really. I mean—” she trails off.
“What?”
Eileen shrugs. “Maybe it’s just my queerdar. You know? Birds of a feather flock together.”
“You’re… Wait! What?”
Eileen breathes a sigh. She knew this day would come, but she somehow thought Sam maybe already knew. Wishful thinking. Her boyfriend – as open-minded as he is – is also straight as a ruler, and if he didn’t pick up on the queerness of his own brother, how likely is it that he realised that she isn’t straight either?
She sits down on the bed next to Sam. He turns to face her, and Eileen gives him a nervous smile.
“It’s okay,” Sam signs.
Eileen huffs a noiseless laugh. “I’ve been with men, women, and a non-binary partner,” she says.
Sam blinks at her and nods. “Alright,” is all he says.
Eileen tilts her head and pierces him with her eyes. “Alright?”
Sam shrugs. “Sure. It’s none of my business.”
Eileen presses the tip of her tongue against her teeth and gets up, feeling slightly unhinged. She didn’t expect Sam to ask intrusive questions but this borders on disinterest. Her queerness is such an important part of who she is. How can he not want to ask her about it?
She sits down at the desk again and stares at her diary. She doesn’t know what to write anymore.
‘My boyfriend gives a fuck about who I am?”
No, she doesn’t want to be an ass about it. Indifference is still better than being a bigot. And maybe Sam is simply shocked. Yes, that must be it. He’ll come around and ask her later.
Eileen startles when Sam taps against her shoulder. He shouldn’t be able to catch her off guard. Eileen reprimands herself inwardly as she looks up at her boyfriend.
Sam kneels down and cups her cheek.
“If you wanna tell me more, I’m all ears,” he says. “I do give a fuck,” he smirks. Oh, shit. She must have said that out loud.
Eileen quirks a smile. “I hate that I need to come out,” she says. “But it’s me. It’s hard to get to the point to accept oneself. And when you have it, you have to share it, again and again.”
Sam nods. “I get it. Everyone just assumes that everyone is straight.”
“Correct,” Eileen signs.
“You think you can help Dean with his queer awakening?”
Eileen chuckles. “Sure. Bi solidarity,” she smirks.