Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Some people need flowers, some people need dandelions. It’s medicine, it’s what you need at that time in your life.”

- Sandra Cisneros

The dandelion is a flower that means hope, love, and happiness. Their yellow petals plucked with wishes, their black seeds sent flying with the breath of children wishing for something better. They say that when you wish on a dandelion, your dreams are bound to come true. That their seeds carry your hope with them when they fly away. It is a flower that believes it is ugly, that it is a weed. But the dandelion is a flower that survives. 

Akaashi’s toes curl into the blanket on his lap, nudging slightly against Bokuto’s thigh and wedging deeper under the pressure of his body as he works on his laptop. Akaashi sits flipping the pages of his book. The room is silent in their comfort of each other apart from the sounds of typing keys and shuffling of paper. 

It startles Akaashi when his phone trembles and he puts his hand to his chest, Bokuto chuckling at him. Akaashi kicks him gently which only makes him giggle more. Bokuto puts a hand on Akaashi’s shin, rubbing it as he returns to looking at his computer. 

Akaashi picks up his phone, swiping it open. 

Text message: Mother 

Hi Keiji, are you coming to visit this summer with your sister? You haven’t visited in the last couple years, the girls and Botan are starting to complain that you don’t visit. Please let me know! Can’t wait to see you. 

Akaashi reads the message again and sighs, the answer already decided for him in the message itself. 

“Something wrong?” Bokuto asks without looking up, and Akaashi looks at him as his eyes reflect the glow of his computer, even in the daylight. He smiles.

“Yeah, my mother just wants me to come visit this summer.” He says and Bokuto looks up.

“Do you want to?” and Akaashi curls his toes again thinking about it. He hasn’t been home in a couple years, his sister Miyaki having come to visit a bit, but it’s been some time. He’s been avoiding it, to be completely honest. 

“It might be nice, but I have a lot of work… and it would be a whole two weeks and I don’t want to leave you for that long,” he says, looking back down to his book. The words stand out, the italics of thought, the dandelions bloom… 

Akaashi thinks back to his life at their summer home. The garden and fields, how they all bloom in the summer. He misses his family, but the fear of them outweighs him, crushing his chest as he thinks about what they might say about his life, how things have changed. 

Would they hate me for not seeing them now? 

“What if I come with you?” And Akaashi looks up again, that thought even scarier than his own. His heart now races in his chest as the need to run away fills him up. “I’ve been wanting to meet the rest of your family,” he says and Akaashi’s brows pull together, his mouth drying out.

“Come with me?” Akaashi repeats his words to him and Bokuto smiles nodding with a gentle expression. 

“It’s been almost 3 years since we started dating, and it feels a bit odd that I haven’t met them yet.” Bokuto moves his computer off his lap, sitting up on his knee as he comes closer. “Do you not want me to meet them?” he asks and Akaashi’s eyes widen. He shakes his head and cups Bokuto’s face. He lays out between Akaashi’s legs, chin pressed to his chest. 

“I want you to meet them, I’m just scared, is all.” He brushes his fringe and Bokuto closes his eyes at the touch. Bokuto is the most important thing in Akaashi’s life, so to expose him to the chaos of his family, and their possible judgment, rattles his bones. The mere thought torturing him from the inside. 

“I’m not scared,” Bokuto says and turns his head, pressing his cheek to Akaashi’s chest. Akaashi looks up, laying his head back a bit and sighs. 

What if it ruins us? What if mother scares you off? 

“Have they disliked partners in the past?” 

“I’ve never brought any of them home.” he runs his hand through Bokuto’s hair, the feeling of the strands in his fingers smoothing over the jagged edges of his anxiety. “I’ve always been too afraid.”

“Well if you don’t want us to meet yet then that’s fine,” Bokuto says and looks up again, chin on Akaashi’s chest. His cheek is pink from the pressure and Akaashi smooths it out. Akaashi thinks about Bokuto in the sun of the garden he’d show him, and he tries to tell himself that he has nothing to be afraid of. He’d fight for Bokuto no matter what. 

“No, I want you to meet them, you’re right.” Akaashi says and smiles, “Please come home with me this summer, Koutarou?” he asks and Bokuto smiles, a toothy grin. He pushes up on his palms, looming over Akaashi with a smile. 

“I’d love to.” 

Bokuto wraps an arm around Akaashi’s waist as he leans down to him, pressing his lips to his boyfriend’s, capturing the smile and giggle that whispers out of Akaashi. 

Akaashi let’s Bokuto buy the tickets, only telling him what airport to land in, and before Akaashi can prepare any sort of plan in his head for his family's impending questions and judgment, they’re packing to leave for the airport. The weeks seemed to have passed quicker than usual.

Akaashi’s asked for the vacation days, and Bokuto has set up work to move without him as his new editor-in-chief able to handle most of it on his own.

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says and Bokuto stands straight, the sound of his family name in Akaashi’s voice alarming him. 

“What’d I do wrong?” He asks and Akaashi snickers. 

“Nothing, sorry, I didn’t mean to use that one.” And Bokuto sighs, his shoulder deflating. “But I wanted to ask, if you could… possibly dress more casual to— so as not to intimidate them?” Akaashi’s voice shakes as he speaks. He pulls at his fingers, averting his eyes, but he hears Bokuto approach him.
“You want me to hide my wealth?” He says and bends to capture Akaashi’s gaze and Akaashi expects him to look frustrated or annoyed. But Bokuto’s eyes are soft and understanding and Akaashi nods, his cheeks warming with embarrassment. 

What if they hate him? 

His family, though comfortable themselves, has had a wary belief about money. His mother used to say it corrupts, it makes people abandon their families. When there’s too much, she would say, they lose sight of what is important and end up using people. 

What if he hates them? 

Akaashi's chest aches, the breath in his lungs too heavy to be pushed out fully. It makes him want to lay down on the floor, to press his cheek to the cold marble.

“I don’t mind playing it casual Keiji. If it’ll help; I won't mention the money.” Bokuto says and pulls the zip closed on Akaashi’s suitcase, the sound ripping into Akaashi’s thoughts. Bokuto bends to press a kiss to Akaashi’s cheek as he picks up the suitcase, placing it by the door before returning to his own bag. “I think things will go smoothly.” And Akaashi sighs. 

Bokuto is a very positive person. Akaashi, however, not so much.

Tomo drives them to the airport once they’re ready, and they both exasperatedly go through the motions of flying before they take off. 

“Do you think the kids like to play board games?” Bokuto asks, resting back into his seat, the business class flight attendant passes them. 

The plane flies smoothly through the clouds, and Akaashi’s nails grip deeply into the cushion of the armrest. 

“I’m not sure, their interests may have changed since the last time I’ve seen them.” Akaashi looks out the window, at the passing clouds, tinged pink with the beginning sunset. They only have a bit more time before they land, since the flight is only about 3 hrs long. “Tell me why you bought business class again?” Akaashi asks, turning to look at Bokuto who’s slowly nursing a small cup of beer. 

“Because I always fly business, and I bought the tickets before you made your request,” Bokuto says and Akaashi sighs, nodding as he lets go of his breath. He tilts his head and closes his eyes, his chest pounding with the weight of the inevitable greetings of his family. 

Akaashi loves his family, he does, he always has and always will. But the only person that doesn’t make him nervous or annoyed or exasperated is Ichika and his father. All the rest will bombard him with questions, greetings and hugs, they’ll talk loudly and laugh and clap him on the back. He finds it exhausting to see them, even if he loves them. And to introduce a new person to them, will only mean more questions, more intrusion. Akaashi…likes his privacy. 

Bokuto puts a hand over Akaashi’s rubbing a thumb over his knuckles. Akaashi looks up from the spot on the back of the chair he was staring at, offering Bokuto a small smile. 

“Tell me again why you don’t like visiting?” Bokuto asks and Akaashi leans to rest his head on Bokuto’s shoulder. 

“They’re just… overwhelming. And I want them to like you so badly I can barely breathe.” Bokuto lets out a chuckle and then presses a kiss to the crown of Akaashi’s head. 

“I’m sure they will, I’m a very likable person.” This time Akaashi’s the one to laugh, a small smile creeping onto his lips. 

“Yeah, you are.” 

The plane takes another 45 minutes to reach Sendai airport, and when they arrive out of the terminal Akaashi is met with his two sisters waving from behind a rope barrier. Akaashi gives them a small wave as Bokuto stands behind him smiling and waving. 

“Keiji!!!” Miyaki shouts and throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and squeezing as tightly as she can. “We’ve missed you! I can’t believe you agreed to come, you’ve been so distant lately. I can’t wait for you to see the girls again, they’re so excited to see you even Aya has spoken that she’s excited, she’s going through a rebellious stage right now so she doesn’t say much about what she likes, but she’s very happy about you visiting… Bokuto-kun!” 

Miyaki lets go of Akaashi’s shoulders to give a hug to Bokuto who gently wraps an arm around her in greeting. 

“Nice to see you again Miyaki,” He says and Miyaki once again goes into a rant, patting Bokuto in the back and asking how he’s been. She doesn’t call him Akaashi’s rich boyfriend like she does in text, only asks about how his work is and if Akaashi and him have been getting along. Akaashi is at least grateful for that. 

“Hi Ichika,” he says and bends to hug the other twin, who adjusts her glasses as she smiles. 

“It’s been some time, Miyaki certainly has been excited.” 

Ichika is the same height and build as Miyaki at 175 cm, but she keeps her hair short like Akaashi’s, and the same blueish-green eyes as his look up at him. 

“You look well,” Akaashi says and Ichika nods, a smile on her lips.

“So this is the famous Bokuto.” And she nods towards Bokuto, only Akaashi can hear her and he nods. 

“We’ve heard so little about him.” Akaashi rolls his eyes. “We all look forward to getting to know him.”

“Has mom said anything?” He asks and looks down at his shoes. 

“No, but she’s been cooking all afternoon.” and Akaashi lets out a small sigh. 

The two of them watch and Bokuto and Miyaki excitedly talk about something neither are familiar with, large smiles and boisterous laughter coming from their lips. 

“Miyaki has only had good things to say,” Ichika says and Akaashi looks at her, tension spreading in his chest.

“Like what?” Akaashi asks and waits desperately for her to answer. 

“Oh you know her, the usual.” But Akaashi doesn’t know, he knows his sister but he has no clue what Ichika is implying, and it only makes his heart bound faster. “Bokuto-san,” Ichika calls and Bokuto looks up, coming closer. He picks up Ichika’s hand and holds it in both of his, smiling a large and goofy smile that makes both Akaashi and Ichika giggle. She shakes his hand. 

“I’m so happy I can meet you,” Bokuto says and gives Ichika a bow. Akaashi giggles again at Bokuto’s joy, his excitement getting the better of him. And for the first time in hours, Akaashi’s chest feels warm and fluttering, suddenly wanting to be closer to Bokuto, wanting to scoop his face in his palms and kiss him. 

“It’s lovely to meet you, Bokuto-san.” And Ichika smiles gently, a similar smile to Akaashi’s own. 

Bokuto stands straight and rubs the back of his neck, a smile not leaving his lips. 

“Let's head out!” Miyaki says and points to the door, grabbing the handle of Akaashi’s suitcase and starting to pull it. 

“Miyaki please calm down, you’re disturbing others,” Ichika says and starts to follow behind her twin. 

“mIaYaKi, PlEaSe Be, Bla Bla Bla, you’re such a downer Chika.” Miyaki shakes her head as she talks, sticking her tongue at Ichika who just rolls her eyes.

Bokuto appears at Akaashi’s side, taking up his hand, and pulling it to his lips. 

“How am I doing so far?” Bokuto asks with a smile and Akaashi smiles back. He leans over, pressing a kiss to Bokuto’s cheek.

“Perfect.” 

Ichika drives them to the house, through the grassy neighborhoods of Miyagi into the countryside. And Miyaki talks for almost the entire 30 minute drive. Bokuto nods along, hand wrapped around Akaashi’s. 

“So, the house belonged to our grandparents, and the three of us would always be sent to it during the summers when our parents were still working, and then once we got older we would still go during the summer. It’s a really pretty house, traditional but also updated, and it’s got lots of land. I personally like sitting on the front porch, the neighbors are also nice.” She goes on and on with the details of the house, so much so Bokuto can probably picture it perfectly before they even arrive. 

“Akaashi doesn’t visit anymore, though, he always says it’s too expensive even though I offer to pay every time.” 

“I don’t want you paying for my flights,” He says and looks back out the window. The trees are lush and Akaashi admires the flowers as they rush by, he always forgets how pretty the countryside is. 

“It would be nice to see you more often though, Keiji, Mom would also be happy.” Ichika takes Miyaki’s side and Akaashi glares at her from the back seat. It’s always two against one, even when he thinks Ichika will take his side, the two sisters always seem to argue against him.

The silence takes over for a moment, the sound of the car running a distant hum in the air before Ichika speaks up. 

“Bokuto, what is it that you do?” Ichika asks and Akaashi’s hand tightens around Bokuto’s, muscles stiffening at the question. Bokuto squeezes his hand back, and pulls it closer into his lap. 

“I work for a magazine,” he says and Miyaki snorts, Ichika looking at her then to Bokuto. Akaashi stares Miyaki down through the rearview mirror and her eyes lose their teasing glow, lowering to look away. He’s told her already, to allow him to control this part, to not mention it to the family. Akaashi has many reservations about his sister, but one of them is not her loyalty. She’s very good at keeping her promises.

Ichika pulls into the driveway of the home, parking on the grass by the side of the house. And Quickly as the car slows to a stop, Miyaki jumps out and they all start to follow. The warmth hits them first, the summer intoxication of humidity in their lungs, the sun beating down on the tops of their heads. Akaashi squints at the light, putting up his hand to shield his eyes. Bokuto gets out next to him. 

“Wow, the house is beautiful!” He says and Akaashi glances at him and nods. It’s been some time since he’s seen it; the large wooden traditional house, with wrap-around decks and paper shade doors, the only modern amenities are the air conditioner units on the floors in each room, and the interior modified to look more like a contemporary house. It’s an odd amalgamation, changed over several generations of their family. 

Bokuto takes his sunglasses off his head, placing them on Akaashi’s before he walks around the side of the car, opening the trunk to retrieve their bags. Akaashi pulls the sunglasses over his eyes, replacing his seeing glasses with them.

“Mom! Dad! Guess who’s home!” Miyaki shouts from the car, standing watch as Bokuto takes down their bags. 

“Miyaki, please,” Akaashi says and Miyaki hunches down with a laugh, smiling like a teasing child. Akaashi sighs and Miyaki turns on her heels to walk into the house. 

“She’s a riot,” Bokuto says and Akaashi puts a hand on his shoulder. 

“Please save my Kou.” And Bokuto laughs, clicking his tongue. 

“It’s a little too late for that Babe.” And Akaashi groans into a laugh. 

Bokuto closes the trunk just as Akaashi’s niece and nephew come running out of the house, the 7 and 9 year old screaming as they run in to hug Akaashi around his waist and legs.

“Uncle Keiji!” 

“Uncle Keiji!” 

They both shout and giggle as Akaashi puts a hand on each of their backs, looking down at them as they smile. They’re so much bigger than he remembers, Miyano with now two missing teeth and Botan’s brown hair grown out around his shoulder. The last time he saw them they were 5 and 3. And suddenly he feels like he might cry, the tightness in his chest turning to a sting in his eyes as he looks down at them. 

“Hi you two! You look so big!” 

“Uncle, you have glasses now! Do you have trouble reading? My doctor says I might need glasses as well, but I think I see fine,” Miyano says and pouts as Botan pushes on the center of her forehead. 

“You walked into a wall just yesterday Miya,” Botan shouts and Miya swats his hand away and he laughs. 

“Uncle Keiji, did you bring us any special Manga? I wanna read more cause Miya can’t!” and Akaashi chuckles, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry Botan, I don’t work at the publishers anymore, I work on poetry and literature now,” He says and rubs his hand into Botan’s hair, ruffling it. They both ‘aww’ and then Miyano tilts her head to look at Bokuto, still standing next to Akaashi. 

Akaashi looks up, Ichika’s husband coming out of the house.
“Nice to see you Keiji,” He says and waves before leaning on a support beam. Akaashi waves back. 

“Woah,” Miyano says, tilting her head back to look up at Bokuto, his large frame creating a shadow that completely absorbs her, and when Botan looks up at him as well, his eyes widen. Bokuto smiles at them both, putting down the suitcases and crouching to their level. The two children bow. 

“You two must be Keiji’s niece and nephew. I’m Bokuto, you can call me Bo if you’d like.” The two look at eachother then back to Bokuto and smile. 

“I’m Miyano Hirato.” 

“I’m Botan!” 

“It’s nice to meet you both.” He sticks out his hand and they both take turns shaking it, smiles wide on their faces. “How old are you guys?” 

Botan holds up his hands, all five fingers out on his left and two out on his right. 

“I’m 9,” Miyano says and sticks her nose in the air, smug, then looks back with a smile. “How old are you?” Bokuto laughs. He mimics her with his nose up in the air, proud. 

“I’m 32,” he says and then looks at her with a smile, gentle again. “Just a year older than your uncle.” 

“Bo-san, are you uncle Keiji’s boyfriend?” Botan asks suddenly and Akaashi’s eyes widen as he tries to hold back his laugh. He’s rarely seen Bokuto interact with children, only the spare few run ins at parks, but every time he’s amazed at how goofy and gentle he can be, perfectly blending into their antics. 

Bokuto’s laugh booms out of his mouth and the two kids jump a little at the sound. 

“Yes, I’m your uncle’s boyfriend.” 

“Do you love him?” Miyano asks and Akaashi’s cheeks heat up, he adjusts his sunglasses.

“Yes, I do, very much.”     

“Good, cause if you’re not nice to him we’ll do bad things to you in your sleep,” Miyano deadpans, and Akaashi almost chokes, eyes widening at the threat.

“Like put spiders in your mouth,” Botan adds and Akaashi swivels his head looking between them. 

“Guys—” but before he can get a word out Bokuto laughs loudly again, he reaches out and ruffles Miyano’s hair pushing down so she has to bow her head. 

“Deal. I promise I’ll be the nicest,” he says and Akaashi closes his mouth, the two kids suddenly looking satisfied with Bokuto’s answer. 

The two run off as Miyaki calls them, allowing Bokuto to stand. 

“Miyaki had to have taught them that,” Akaashi says and Bokuto looks back at him, he shrugs. 

“Kids are odd, wouldn’t be surprised if they came up with it themselves.” 

“No, no she definitely taught them that.” and Bokuto laughs, picking up the suitcases again.

“Is it bad I’m kinda scared?” Bokuto asks and Akaashi reaches over, patting him on the chest. 

“Don’t worry, I won't let them hurt you.” And Bokuto pouts, Akaashi taking the lead up the stairs.  

They enter the house with a unified sigh, the AC hitting their skin, already starting to dampen with sweat. They look at each other, giggling at their relief. 

“Keiji,” Akaashi hears, and looks up, his father walking towards him. Akaashi smiles, and opens his arms for his father, bending to hug the shorter man. “I’ve missed you, how are things!” He asks and rubs a hand on his shoulder as he pulls away. 

“I’ve been fine, great actually.” 

Bokuto steps up behind him then, his broad shoulders taking up the space of the door frame. He steps up next to Akaashi, smiling down at Akaashi’s father, and he can see how Bokuto sucks in a breath, holding it for a moment. His father’s eyes widen, looking up at Bokuto blinking in slight astonishment. He holds out his hand and Bokuto takes it. 

“This is Bokuto, my boyfriend,” Akaashi introduces, and for a moment of pause Akaashi swears Bokuto and his father seem to communicate only through their handshake, their eyes and smiles locked on eachother. It frightens him, his chest shaking rapidly with the beat of his heart, and he too holds a breath now. 

“Nice to meet you,” his father says finally, and Bokuto nods, smiling wider. “Welcome to our home.” 

“Thank you.” And they let their hands go, Bokuto straightening up and picking up the bags again. 

“Wher—” 

“Keiji!” Akaashi’s mother runs into the room, rushing to pull Akaashi into what he thinks is a hug but turns more into a strangle. Then as soon as she’s close she hits her palm to his arm and begins to scold him, “Why haven’t you visited? We’ve missed you, you need to remember your manners, and call once in a while.” She waves a spatula in the air, having just come from the kitchen and Akaashi dodges it as she swings it close to his head as she talks.

“Yes, hi mother,” he says.  

Then suddenly, she stops; her eyes divert quickly to Bokuto at his side, and again they’re stricken into silence. Akaashi is about to introduce Bokuto when his mother stops him, a hand in the air. 

Her eyes wander up and down Bokuto, her lips pursed with judgment and Akaashi’s heart plunges even deeper in his body. His mother is a bubbly person, her personality much like a hurricane, but she is not as welcoming to strangers, as one would expect. Her face draws serious, eyes narrowing. 

“He’s strong, I can see.” 

Bokuto’s eyes glance at Akaashi then back to his mother, and he flicks a small smile, nodding ever so slightly. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” he says, but his voice carries nothing but caution, swallowing what little worry he has and Akaashi can see the nervousness in Bokuto’s eyes. 

“You can put the bags in the room down that hall, you and Keiji will be staying in the bedroom on the left.” Her voice is plain, almost strict, almost harsh. Bokuto nods and adjusts the bags in his hands. 

“Please don’t be rude,” Akaashi asks and his mother’s head whips to look at him, her stare just as burning as always. But then she smiles and tilts her head.
“I’m only harsh because I care.” And she cups Akaashi’s cheek.

His mother leaves back to the kitchen then, announcing dinner will be ready in an hour as his father follows her and only offers Akaashi a small don’t worry smile. But it’s useless, because Akaashi is already completely and senselessly worried.

What if he hates them? 

Akaashi follows Bokuto into the back room, the guest bedroom already made and ready for the both of them. Bokuto places their bags by the closet and opens up the doors. 

“Your mother is nice,” Bokuto says and Akaashi glares at him from where he stands in the entryway. Bokuto smiles, holding back a small laughter. “Don’t worry, I know she’s just being protective.” 

But it doesn’t help, his words or his father’s smile or his very own in his head. His chest is sunken like a ship, in the midst of chaos, drawing in anxiety and rushing worry. None of it helps, and he tries his best to control his breathing, he counts each one of his breaths to make sure they’re long enough.

Akaashi steps into the room.

“I’m surprised they’re letting us sleep in the same room,” He says. He wants to change the subject, for himself mostly, to change his own thoughts.

“Maybe it’s cause we’re both men?” Bokuto says and bends to unzip his luggage, Akaashi’s as well. Akaashi takes a seat on the bed, removing his sunglasses from his head. 

“Maybe, I think my dad may have talked mom into it, he’s always been pretty relaxed about those kinds of things.” 

“Mm.” Bokuto unpacks their clothing, putting them on hangers already in the closet, sectioning one side for himself and one for Akaashi, even though Akaashi steals most of his clothing anyway.

“I’m happy though,” Akaashi says and fiddles with the hem of his t-shirt. “That we can sleep in the same bed, I think I’d be too anxious to sleep alone.” Bokuto stops moving, lowering the shirt he’s holding. 

“Come here,” he says and nods his head back, calling him. Akaashi stands and moves around the bed to the closet standing before Bokuto like he’s asked. 

“Yes?” Akaashi asks, face tight with unease, brows pulled together.
“You need a kiss, your anxiety is getting the better of you, so you need a kiss,” Bokuto says plainly, and smiles as he places his hands around Akaashi’s face, tilting it up to bring their lips together. And slowly Bokuto kisses him, slotting their lips together, and not even moving. He holds Akaashi there, and lets him melt. The warmth spreads over Akaashi’s shoulders and down into the tips of his fingers. His heart flutters instead of thunders, the press of Bokuto’s kiss setting everything at ease, even if just for a moment. The tension fades from him, the crease on his forehead relaxing, shoulders slipping and Akaashi’s fingers curl into the side of Bokuto’s shirt, ever slightly pulling him closer. It lasts all of a single moment, but Akaashi, by the end, feels, still, as if he’s rested for hours. 

Bokuto pulls away, their noses still brushing as he smiles.
“Better?” He asks and Akaashi smiles, his eyes opening to look into Bokuto’s golden stare. “Remember to breathe.” And Akaashi nods. He leans into the touch of Bokuto’s knuckles against his cheek bone before it drops and Bokuto returns to his unpacking. 

Akaashi lowers himself, kneeling by the bags to help. He takes clothing out and hands each article one by one to Bokuto as he hangs them. Silently they work in the comfort of the other and for a moment it is all Akaashi needs. Rhythm, comfort in routine, helping Bokuto as an excuse to be close to him. 

They continue like this for some time, slowly letting their clothes for the two weeks fill up the closet, and by the end Akaashi’s giggling at the sound of Bokuto’s stomach rumbling. 

Bokuto hunches over, holding his stomach and looks at Akaashi with big eyes, pouting. Akaashi laughs. He presses his knees to stand, getting to his feet and rubbing a hand on the curve of Bokuto’s back. 

“Can we find food?” He asks and Akaashi nods, his smile wide. Bokuto straightens and puts a hand on Akaashi’s hip to turn him, then with his hands on Akaashi’s shoulders he starts to guide him towards the door. “Yay! Food!” and Akaashi giggles again. 

Bokuto leads Akaashi in awkward directions, pausing every few moments for Akaashi to give him directions, because he has no actual knowledge of where the kitchen might be. Akaashi giggles all the way, pointing towards the kitchen on the other side of the house and correcting Bokuto when he attempts to turn him at every other doorway. 

They breach the entry to the kitchen, where Akaashi’s mother is hovering over a pot of soba noodles. When they enter, Bokuto’s hands disappear from Akaashi’s shoulders. His mother glances up at them, eyes lingering on Bokuto. 

“Is there anything ready we could eat?” Akaashi asks and opens the fridge stocked with fresh groceries. His family has likely already been here for a day, the way they’ve settled into the house. 

“I bought the onigiri you like, if you still enjoy them,” she says, but doesn’t look up, contently still stirring the pot. Akaashi ducks his head, searching for the wrapped triangles while Bokuto leans against the counter. “Don’t go spoiling your appetite though, I’ve made lots of food for the 11 of us.” and Akaashi’s brows shoot up at the number, even though he’s aware of the size of his family, the number feels larger. 

“We’ll try our best,” Akaashi says as he reaches into the fridge to pull out two of the onigiri. Bokuto makes grabby hands, wiggling his fingers as Akaashi hands him an onigiri, smiling widely. They unwrap the onigiri, the only sounds in the kitchen, the scraping of his mother’s wooden spoon, and the crinkling of the plastic. 

Akaashi stands stiffly between the two of them, heart pounding in his ears, chills traveling down his spine, even in the heat. 

“Do you like soba, Bokuto-san,” his mother asks and both Akaashi and Bokuto look at her, still focused on her pot. 

“I do,” he replies and Akaashi sees a small smile form on her lips. She nods. 

Bokuto takes another bite of his onigiri and Akaashi waits for more. He bites at his lip, staring down at his food. 

“I don’t want you two having sex in that room.” and Akaashi almost chokes, Bokuto as well coughing slightly. 

Akaashi whips his head around to stare at his mother in shock, his heart beating so rapidly, cheeks flushing, he thinks he might collapse. Would it be possible to get heat stroke from embarrassment?

“Mother!” and his mother finally looks up, she acts innocent. 

“I’m only warning you, I don’t want it.” and before Akaashi can say anything else Bokuto erupts in laughter, throwing his head back a bit and now Akaashi looks at him. He tries to catch his breath, starting to hyperventilate. How has he gotten stuck with two crazy people in his life? 

“Don’t worry, Keiji and I will be on our best behavior,” Bokuto assures and Akaashi groans. He presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose trying to loosen the tension, but it doesn’t seem to help. He takes the last bite of his onigiri then shoos Bokuto towards the rest of the house. 

Bokuto giggles as Akaashi leads him down the hall into the room with the garden view. His sisters sit on the tatami mat, their husbands chatting on the porch, and the four of them glance their way when they enter. 

Bokuto waves a bit at them before they continue their conversations. Akaashi shows Bokuto the garden, leading him through the trees and pointing out towards the extended pasture down the hill that they share with a neighbor. And all the while, out of the corner of his eyes, Akaashi sees his sisters whisper, Ichika glancing over at them. He can feel their eyes on their backs, as Bokuto takes Akaashi’s hand, as he points to places that hold stories. 

Akaashi’s chest tightens with each step. He’s having trouble breathing, and with every look Bokuto gives him he can see him noticing. He squeezes his hand every few moments. He can probably feel his hands shaking. 

“Why don’t you show me the house now?” Bokuto interrupts him, looking at Akaashi with soft eyes, brows slightly furrowed. Akaashi swallows, nodding and forcing a smile. 

Akaashi leads Bokuto out of the garden and into the house again, telling him about the house in a similar way that his sister did earlier. He shows the bedroom he used to use as a kid, the bathroom and all the rest. Bokuto follows quietly, letting Akaashi walk him through it, keeping his hand in his and holding him tightly to keep him grounded.  

“So that’s the house, I guess…” Akaashi says and turns to Bokuto awkwardly waiting for him to say something, trying to think up something next for them to do, but Akaashi’s head is sorely empty. Bokuto giggles seeing Akaashi struggle. 

“The house is cool Keiji, thank you for showing me.” And Akaashi offers Bokuto a tired smile, averting his eyes and smiling. He realizes that these two weeks are going to be harder than he thought they would, and he already thought they were going to be terrible. 

Bokuto suggests they sit for a while and Akaashi agrees, letting Bokuto lead him again through the house, and when they find the living room again, the kids are bunched together on the couch, watching a movie or tv show with full concentration. So that’s how they spend the evening, Bokuto’s hand unmoving from Akaashi’s, and chatting with his nieces and his nephew. Bokuto meets Aya and she quietly greets him and Akaashi can see what his sister meant when she said she’s become more standoffish. 

The kids ask Bokuto questions and he talks about all the cool things in Osaka. Akaashi tells them about his job and all the cool things he’s done with Bokuto and all the kids say, with wide eyes, is that they want to come visit. And with each passing moment Akaashi feels his heart sink deeper and deeper.

Eventually after dinner, Akaashi finds his way with a drink to the porch again, sitting on the cushioned couch with his sisters. 

“Keiji, why haven’t you brought Bokuto to visit before?” Ichika asks and he freezes with his lips hovering over his beer bottle. He tries to take a breath and a swig from the bottle, slowly letting them wait for his answer as he tries to find one.

“Um, I was just nervous, didn’t want to jump into anything,” Akaashi says, trying to pass it off as being overly cautious, which isn’t too far a reach for him. But Ichika looks at him with a raised brow, holding up her own beer to her chest. “He’s important to me, I wanted to be sure,” Akaashi insists, even though his statement doesn’t make all that much sense he leaves it there, hoping his sister, despite her intelligence, won't notice. 

“You know if you don’t want to tell us, fine, but don’t let mom know you’re hiding it, she’ll be upset.” 

Why do you always take her side? She’s the one who’s always so harsh.

He’s always seen it, even with his sisters, his mother would ignore and refuse their boyfriends, waiting for them to prove some arbitrary worthiness to her. It feels worse for Akaashi, but perhaps that’s his fault. 

“What does he do at the magazine?” Ichika asks and Akaashi glances at Miyaki, sitting between them. She stays quiet, taking a sip of her drink with a blank stare. 

“He, um, he manages things, helps it run smoothly.” It’s not a lie.

“Mhm.” She takes a sip. “Sounds interesting, would love to hear more sometime.” 

She gets up then, padding off in her bare feet back into the house. And Akaashi doesn’t look up as she passes, only waits in the silence for Miyaki’s scolding he knows will come. She holds her beer out between her fingers, swinging it slightly. 

“Why are you doing this?” She asks and Akaashi sucks in a breath, his heart racing so fast he can hear the blood pumping in his ears. 

“I don’t want them to judge him,” he says and holds tighter to the bottle neck. 

“So you’re lying to us?” Another sip. “Are you afraid they’ll ask for money?” 

Akaashi jerks his head around staring with wide eyes at his sister. 

“No, of course not.” He hadn’t truly thought of that, but now that she’s said it.
“Don’t worry they won't, have more faith,” She says, seemingly reading his mind and Akaashi wonders how so many people seem to be able to do that. 

“You remember how mother used to talk about men with too much money, how they’re all selfish and vicious, and use people for their gain. I don’t want her to think like that about Bokuto, I don’t want her to hate him.” 

“I get that, I remember.” Akaashi looks away. “I know she can be harsh, but you’re also asking too much of Bokuto, you’re asking for him to hide himself. It’s rude and selfish, Keiji.”  

Akaashi doesn’t respond to that, only shakes his head, not knowing what else to do. He knows he’s selfish, he knows it’s wrong. He hates himself for it. 

Akaashi takes a deep breath, holds it for a few seconds, then lets it go. Bokuto’s voice rings in his head. 

Remember to breathe, Keiji. 

And he tells it to himself, as his sister gets up and leaves him, the sun sets and the sky settles into dusk. Akaashi sits alone, wondering if he’s doing something irreparable, if Bokuto will hate him for this. What if he hates him for this? The fireflies awaken and the porch light flickers on as Akaashi takes the last sip of his beer, feeling the quiet warmth in his stomach from the alcohol. 

The shade slides open and Bokuto peers through it at Akaashi, smiling brightly with rosy cheeks. He must have had a drink as well. 

“Hi,” He says and shuffles over to Akaashi. 

“Hi.” And Akaashi shifts, letting Bokuto lift his legs and place them over his lap as he slides onto the couch with him. 

“What are you doing out here?” And Akaashi leans forward, his beer gone, sitting on the ground. He reaches for Bokuto’s hand and pulls it into his. 

“Just watching the fireflies.” It’s cool out, the summer heat having dissipated into only a warm breeze.

“Are you out here worrying about things?” Bokuto asks and Akaashi glances up from their hands. 

“Maybe.” And Bokuto smiles. He reaches his hand up and strokes his hand through Akaashi’s hair, holding the back of his head to bring him into a kiss. Akaashi can taste the bourbon on his lips, the one his father likes to drink and wonders what Bokuto got up to with him. But he tries not to dwell on it. 

“I’m gonna go to bed soon. You going to join?” And Akaashi opens his eyes, staying leaning close. 

“I’ll come in in a bit,” he says and pecks one last kiss to Bokuto’s lips, always soft, and warm and comforting.

Bokuto leaves him too after another moment, and Akaashi sits with his legs on the couch, just as Bokuto had him, and leans forward until his head is on his knees. It’s almost 10:30 at night, and Akaashi doesn’t feel tired at all, only the shakiness in his bones. But he gets up then, deciding he should sleep rather than worry and makes his way inside. 

Bokuto is already in bed by the time he crawls in next to him, and Bokuto turns around, lifting his arm for Akaashi to slip under. 

Akaashi listens to Bokuto’s breathing, the steady movement of his chest against Akaashi’s arm. He listens and listens and feels Bokuto’s heart beat, as the crickets chirp, and the airconditioning hums, and Bokuto sleeps. And by the time Bokuto turns away, shifting in his sleep, it’s been almost an hour and Akaashi has tears in his eyes. He turns as well, his bones aching, but his chest wont untighten, won't relax or breath. His eyes feel taped open, unable to close. He tries to picture things, a routine, a fantasy, he tries to make a list, and plan for tomorrow. But it all slips away, ending in only another shuffle to turn over. 

Akaashi reaches for his phone on the bed table, the screen making him squint only slightly. It’s 1 in the morning, and Akaashi hasn’t slept a single moment. He moves the covers off of him, slipping out of bed. 

The house is deathly quiet, still and holding its breath in the middle of the night as Akaashi makes his way to the kitchen. He opens the fridge, light flooding out of it into the dark room. He takes out some of the leftover soba and opens it. He doesn’t feel like eating, but he didn’t eat much earlier either. He needs something to do. 

He takes small bites, dipping the soba in its sauce and standing in the silence, only the sound of his chopsticks on the small glass storage container echoing in his personal space. Maybe he should keep trying, resting in the bed until morning, but the more he stays there the more he feels like he’s going to break down, nothing to distract him from the aching stillness in him. He feels restless, like it’s torture to stay put. 

Akaashi puts the soba away, only having had a few bites before settling on the couch in the living room. He clicks on the Tv and the sound blasts just slightly before he lowers it all the way down, launching his heart into a shaking rhythm. He sighs, curling up in the middle of the couch. He pulls a blanket onto his lap even though it’s not very needed, and settles into the comfort of a movie he’s never seen before, and is already halfway finished. And As time passes Akaashi shifts and leans on the pillows, trying to fall asleep to the movie. When it ends he’s exhausted, and he can feel it, how heavy his body feels, but at the same time knows his eyes won't stay closed. 

A floorboard creaks by the entryway and Akaashi sits up quickly, worried he’s woken up one of his parents. But the person standing in the doorway is Bokuto, squinting down at him in his white t-shirt and sweatpants. 

“What are you doing up?” He asks and Akaashi scrunches up his face, frustrated and on the verge of tears again. He puts out his arms as Bokuto shuffles towards him. 

“I can’t sleep, did I wake you?” and Bokuto collapses into Akaashi’s arms, cheek pressing to his chest and Akaashi rubs a hand on Bokuto’s back. He shakes his head and Akaashi sighs. 

“You should have woken me, I would have sat with you,” Bokuto says.  Akaashi’s brows knit together and he squeezes him between his arms. “Do you feel sleepy now?” Bokuto’s voice is small and child-like, tainted with sleep as he mumbles his words. 

“I kinda do, but I still can't get the thoughts to stop, I just can’t keep my eyes closed.”

Bokuto sits up and nods. Silently he lets go of Akaashi and moves to the end of the couch, propping up a pillow behind him and laying down, and with tired half lidded eyes he pats his chest with both hands. 

Akaashi crawls towards him, laying himself onto Bokuto, head on his chest, and Bokuto wraps him up in his arms. He pulls the blanket over the both of them and Akaashi presses his ear to Bokuto’s heart beat, watching the glow of the Tv. Bokuto rubs his hand up and down on Akaashi’s back, trying to lull him to sleep.

“I know you’re scared, but I’m certain you’re overthinking it.” Akaashi shifts his head, looking up at Bokuto. “I can see your mother is harsh, but I’m not a pushover, Kieji. And I’m not going to leave just because of this like you think.” He says this as he tilts his head back, casually as if it’s the deepest truth he can speak. 

“How did you know I was thinking that?” Akaashi asks and Bokuto opens one eye then sighs with a small smile. He moves his hand into Akaashi’s hair. 

“Because I know you; Because you always think too much about how people will love you, so much that you forget who they are.” Akaashi doesn’t say anything, only listens as Bokuto’s voice vibrates through his chest. “Your mother is only being protective.” 

“Your mother wasn’t like that,” Akaashi says and holds Bokuto’s waist tighter. “She was nice and welcoming from the beginning.” 

“That’s because I’d never taken anyone seriously before you, so she trusted me when I brought you home.” Akaashi sighs, his chest hurting like it’s a cold cracking piece of ice.  

Is this how it would have been? If he had brought his other partners home? If he had taught his mother to trust him? He thinks of his first boyfriend, the only other one to come home with him, how his mothers looked down at him like he had committed a crime. How Akaashi’s chest ached and he cried once his boyfriend had left. And then he didn’t bring any of them around again, even when he got older, he would hide. How could he disappoint her with them, if he had terrible pick in men, and now even when he’s gotten so lucky, it’s like she’s waiting for them to fall apart. 

Akaashi looks up at Bokuto, eyes closed and already falling back asleep and nuzzles his face into his chest. He really did get lucky.

I just want them to love him, I want him to love them. 

Akaashi listens to the steady beat of Bokuto’s heart in his ear, and soon his breathing matches with Bokuto’s as well. His eyes flutter and weigh down and finally wrapped up in Bokuto’s arms, he loses himself in sleep. 

Akaashi wakes up alone, buried in a blanket that heats him up too much, still resting on the couch. He sits up to the Tv off and the sun beaming in through the window. He picks up his phone, looking at the time. He can hear his mother clattering around the kitchen. He expected to have woken up late, but his phone says it’s only 9 am, the normal hour most wake up in his family, and several hours after Bokuto leaves for his workout. 

Akaashi gets up from the couch, rubbing at his eyes as he makes his way into the kitchen. His mother turns as he does and smiles. 

“Morning sweetheart,” she says and Akaashi smiles, humming. She steeps her tea as he pulls out an extra mug from the cupboard, reaching for the coffee pot and leaning her hip against the counter. “How you been holding up?”

Her eyes are soft and calm with the morning, smiling at him like she always has and Akaashi remembers how above all else, his mother does love him, even through all the harshness, through all the scolding and teasing. She loves him just as she always has. 

“I’ve been well, happy to be relaxing.” He tries to sound convincing, faking a small smile as he adds milk to his coffee. 

“You and Bokuto still getting along?” and she takes a sip of her tea, he nods, biting into his lips.
“Yes, we don’t fight much at all, so we’re very much still getting along.” Akaashi tries to hold back his sour attitude. 

“Good, Miyaki says you two live together?” and Akaashi nods again. “How long has that been happening?” Akaashi takes a sip of his coffee. 

“For about 2 years now, I moved in after I broke my leg and recovered at Bokuto’s place.” 

“And he lives in Osaka?” Akaashi nods. 

It feels like a dance, around and around, back and forth with each question each one more evasive or intrusive than the next. 

“Miyaki also says you’ve started a new job.” Akaashi takes another sip, and thanks the gods she’s changed the subject. 

“Yeah, I work at a literary magazine now, in the poetry department. I’m a junior editor and copy reader,” he says and his mothers eyes widen, nodding as if she knows what he’s saying even though he knows she doesn’t. “It’s um my job to proofread the articles for the department and help approve posts and poetry submissions.” and she nods again with a smile. 

“Do you have a copy I can see?” and Akaashi nods, his heart racing. He truly loves his magazine and did actually bring a copy, his stomach flutters with excitement as he puts down his coffee. He leaves to the room to retrieve a copy of the magazine from his suitcase, bringing it to the kitchen and laying it out on the counter. 

“I worked on these articles, and helped the writer improve the diction to be more appealing. And I approved these poems.” he points to various parts of the magazine, flipping the pages and letting his mother look through them. Moments of silence beat between them as she takes time to read the poems commenting on how much she likes certain parts. Akaashi nods saying he enjoyed those parts too, pointing out his favorite metaphors and how some of them remind him of his favorite author. 

“It all looks very wonderful Keiji,” she says, closing the magazine and looking at the back cover. “How long ago did you transfer?” and she looks at him. His smile falls slightly and he glances away. 

“About 6 months ago,” he says and he knows the smile she gives him, the weak smile that doesn’t fully meet her eyes. 

“That’s great honey.” And Akaashi feels his chest ache, for hiding from his family, for not visiting, and keeping his life a secret. He opens his mouth about to tell her, to say what he’s been hiding when a voice comes from down that hall and his own dies in his throat. 

“Look who I found outside,” his father says, coming down the hall towards them and they both look up at the two of them. Bokuto is trailing right behind his father, towering over him and smiling brightly. He’s dressed in his summer running clothes:  compression leggings and shorts and a white tank top. His shoulders are pink from the sun and Akaashi glares at him on instinct. 

“You forgot to wear sunscreen,” Akaashi says before anyone else speaks and puts down his coffee again. Bokuto’s smile falls into a pout and Akaashi’s father laughs a bit. His mother stays quiet and has turned to mull over the dishes in the sink. 

“I didn’t think I’d go out for so long,” Bokuto says and keeps his gaze averted from Akaashi. 

“You always go for long runs, you can’t help it, you should know this by now Bokuto-san.” and Bokuto pouts even more at the use of his surname. But Akaashi smiles, unable to resist Bokuto’s quivering lip when he comes closer. 

“I found him out front, seemed kind of lost,” Akaashi’s father says and Bokuto gasps at him making the man laugh even more.
“You are revealing my secrets sir,” Bokuto says and Akaashi’s father laughs, the sound eerily similar to Akaashi’s own. Bokuto puts his hands on Akaashi’s hips, standing behind him as they talk. “Well, is anyone hungry? I’d be happy to make breakfast for everyone—” 

“I’ll be making breakfast, I already have it planned,” His mother butts in, and Bokuto’s smile only falters for a second before he smiles at her. 

“Are you sure, I’d be more than happy to help.” But she nods, shutting Bokuto out. Akaashi feels Bokuto’s hands tighten on his hips and he sucks in a breath to make sure he still can, the ache in his chest making him want to throw up. 

“I could use some help in the shop if you’d like to help out Bokuto,” his father pipes up and Bokuto shifts his attention, face springing into an excited grin as he nods. 

“I’d love that, sounds great!” 

Akaashi sighs. He leans slightly back against Bokuto’s chest, wishing desperately that he could turn around and bury himself in the man. 

“You can come out with me after breakfast,” his father says and claps Bokuto on the back before walking away down the hall. Bokuto nods and watches him before turning his attention back to Akaashi.
“I think I’m gonna go shower,” he whispers and presses a quick kiss to Akaashi’s cheek and Akaashi’s heart races at it. “I’ll be back, breathe.” and Akaashi sucks in a breath at his order, smiling at the man as he lets him go and disappears down the hall. 

Akaashi turns his head to his mother and for the first time since arriving feels more angry than anxious or upset; he’s not one to stand by when someone is rude to Bokuto, his protectiveness taking over. 

“I know I’m harsh.” She beats him to his words. “But it’s for your own good. I don’t want to hear your scolding.” and Akaashi swallows his voice, gritting his teeth as he tries not to argue. “Go get dressed, your nieces and nephew will be up soon.” 

He says nothing else, and turns on his heels to walk down the hall. 

Akaashi gets dressed as his mother requested, changing into a pair of shorts that’ll keep him cool and an old college shirt he brough. 

After breakfast, which appeared normal from anyone’s perspective, Akaashi sits on the porch watching his nephew catch bugs. He sips on his second coffee, this time iced as the sun has already begun to burn down on them. 

“Look at this one!” Botan shouts and comes running over with a bug in his net. Akaashi leans forward, legs dangling over the edge of the porch. Botan holds out the net, a small beetle inside crawling along the mesh. 

“Wow, that one looks really interesting,” Akaashi says and smiles as Botan giggles and nods enthusiastically. He starts to tell him all about the beetle, what the colors are and what it likes to eat. He goes on as Akaashi listens and nods his head and fits in a few ‘oh wow’s. Then he releases the bug, and returns into the garden. They had completed this routine 4 times already, and Akaashi wonders how much longer the child will want to run in the sun, and even more so if he’s put on sunscreen for the day. 

“You put on sunscreen?” Bokuto asks as he walks out on the deck, Akaashi looks up at him surprised, blinking as his thoughts once again are being read. 

“Do you have some mind reading ability I don’t know about?” Akaashi asks and Bokuto laughs, crouching down to sit next to him. He looks comfy in his white t-shirt and faded blue jeans that Akaashi isn’t all that used to.

It’s unusual seeing Bokuto in casual clothes. Akaashi hadn’t realized how little Bokuto dresses down unless he’s in his sleep clothes or only lounging on the couch with him. Bokuto, even when working at his desk, is usually in a button down. He’ll wear polos, and dress shirts, slacks and dress shoes or oxfords, nice watches and every now again a small diamond earring. Akaashi’s even seen him wear suspenders on days he goes to meetings. He’ll wear the suits Akaashi came to know him by, what he works or travels in, vests and matching dress pants. But it’s rare, exceedingly rare Akaashi realizes, for him to wear jeans. Because if he’s not dressed for his day or work, he’s shirtless, in an old pair of sweatpants, or walking around in his underwear. Bokuto doesn’t dress casually, even on vacation. 

“I do not, sadly, but I know you so I know your thoughts and so on and so on, just like I said last night,” Bokuto says with a smile, and tilts his head. Akaashi nods, thinking back to his words. “So do you need… sunscreen?” He waves the bottle slightly.
“Yes, I do actually,” He says and sits up. He reaches for the bottle, but it’s quickly moved out of reach by Bokuto, and Akaashi pauses. 

“I wanna put it on you.” Bokuto smiles and Akaashi rolls his eyes. 

Akaashi turns towards Bokuto, propping one leg up on the porch between them. Bokuto squirts the sunscreen into the palm of his hand and Akaashi tilts his head back, closing his eyes. But when Bokuto’s thumb starts to rub the sunscreen into his cheek he opens them again, catching how Bokuto’s cheeks tint pink with a blush. 

Bokuto giggles and Akaashi cocks an eyebrow. Bokuto bites into his lips as he starts to spread more on his forehead. Akaashi glances at the cream in his hand and suddenly realizes why the man is holding back laughing. 

“You’re thinking dirty thoughts aren’t you?” Akaashi asks and Bokuto averts his gaze, his smile strained as he tries to hide it.

“It just… kinda looks familiar.”
“Wow, very mature, Koutarou.” And Bokuto breaks then, laughing loudly. “My nephew is right there. And my niece.” but Bokuto only quiets his laughter a little, as Akaashi points to the two kids out in the grass. Akaashi starts to giggle a little himself, shaking his head. 

“I couldn’t help it, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Bokuto says and returns to putting the sunscreen on him, but now Akaashi is the one with a wide smile trying to hold back laughter and only causing Bokuto to laugh more as well. Before they can help it, they’re leaning into each other, giggling until their cheeks burn with their smiles. 

“Give me the sunscreen, you big idiot.” and Bokuto laughs louder. 

“Don’t insult me, you know what it does to me, Keiji.” 

“Oh—” and Akaashi pushes Bokuto’s shoulder before taking the sunscreen from his hand. He pours some into his palm and does the same to Bokuto, spreading it over his cheeks and forehead, and rubbing it in until it’s soft and absorbed. 

They quiet down and Akaashi rubs more into his legs, Bokuto having already taken care of his own body. 

“Botan! Aya! Come put on sunscreen!” Akaashi shouts and the two kids look up at them before lazily running over. 

Akaashi puts sunscreen on their noses and helps them rub it in on their arms and shoulders, both the kids standing around in tank tops with silly cartoon characters on them. And when they’ve covered head to toe, Akaashi tells them to find him again or their mothers to reapply in a couple of hours. The two nod at him, saying thank you before returning to the garden.

Bokuto leans closer to Akaashi, resting his head on his shoulder.
“Weren’t you going to work in the shop with my father?” Akaashi asks and Bokuto nods, his hair rubbing against Akaashi’s neck. He has it slicked up today, probably to help with the heat. 

“He said to wait a bit, that he had some other work first.” 

“So now you’re waiting?” and Bokuto nods again. 

They stay there like that for some time, watching the kids and exclaiming at Botan’s bug finds. By the time Akaashi’s father comes out to the porch they both have sweat pooling behind their knees, and have retrieved fans to breeze themselves with. Akaashi follows them both into the shop, pulling up a chair to watch them work. 

“Are you not going to help?” Bokuto asks as he stands by Akaashi, lowering himself into the lawn chair. 

“No, I can sit here and watch you, it’s more fun.” Akaashi looks up at him with a cheeky smile and Bokuto rolls his eyes. He bends to peck him on the lips before moving over to help. 

Bokuto and his father toil in the heat, constructing something Akaashi can’t quite distinguish. But Akaashi enjoys watching them nonetheless. They don’t talk much, unless his father requests something and Akaashi lazily sits in his chair, resting his head on his palm as they work. The sun beams down on them, making the gravel and garden glow outside the shop. 

It was constructed like a barn, but made for his father when he started doing woodwork when Akaashi’s was young. He used to always sit out here with him, watching him carve out figures in the wood. His favorite sculpture was one of an angel, with large wings. It had taken his father almost a year to complete. 

“What is it exactly that you’re making, Dad?” And his father looks up. He looks back at the wood, Bokuto fitting together some planks for what looks like flooring. 

“It's a play structure for the kids, to put against that tree down the hill.” He says and puts his hands on his hips. “I want it to be a surprise for them, so I’ve told them to stay away from here.” He holds out the hammer for Bokuto to take. “They’re good kids, so they’ll listen.” 

Bokuto starts hammering the planks to a support bar, the sound clambering in their ears.

Akaashi smiles while watching them. His father has always been this way. Even when he was a kid, even when he came out, he’s always been trying. He isn’t the best with words sometimes, reserved for the most part. But he thinks through his work, makes his actions count, and does his best to make sure his family knows they’re loved. Akaashi doesn’t think he’s ever thanked him for that. 

“Are you sure you should be making this on your own?” Akaashi asks and his father shrugs.
“I can handle it, I’m not that old.” He’s always said that, for  just about everything.

Akaashi leans back, glancing out the large metal door of the shop. The kids are still playing in the garden, Miyaki and her husband now watching over them. Miyaki is laughing loudly about something, and clapping her husband on the back as she does.

The morning passes into the afternoon, their sweat dripping down their backs, and Akaashi rests his eyes for only a moment. But when he opens them, his heart plunges into his stomach, fluttering at the sight of Bokuto. He sits up, eyes widening. 

In the time Akaashi had rested his eyes, Bokuto’s disposed of his shirt, now standing there with his hands on his hips, jeans riding low on his hips. 

Akaashi puts his hand to his eyes, shaking his head with a slight smile. 

A bead of sweat drips down Bokuto’s bicep as he lifts a bag of sand over his shoulder. His father tells him not to strain himself. Akaashi watches as Bokuto’s abs flex, working to lift his core from hunching over. Akaashi looks away. His blush isn’t helping in this heat. Akaashi adjusts his glasses as Bokuto stands with his back to him now and Akaashi can see every muscle flex, making his stomach tumble again. Bokuto throws the sand back down onto the ground and Akaashi sucks in a breath. 

“How bout some drinks?” His father says and Akaashi quickly turns his head. 

“Sure!” he says almost too enthusiastically. His father smiles and brushes off his hands before leaving. When he does Bokuto makes his way over to Akaashi, smiling casually as if he isn’t the hottest man Akaashi’s ever seen. 

“Come here,” Akaashi whispers and reaches out as Bokuto bends down, his smile deepens slightly. He slides his hand around the nape of Bokuto’s neck, pulling him down against his lips. Their lips smash together and Akaashi hears Bokuto moan lightly in surprise before kissing him back. Bokuto puts a hand on the wall behind Akaashi, leaning into it as he dips down further, kissing Akaashi like he hasn’t in forever. Akaashi’s hand releases his nape, sliding down to his chest, resting there against Bokuto’s racing heart beat. 

“You okay?” Bokuto asks, breaking the kiss for only a moment and Akaashi nods. He smiles.

“You just look good.” And he bites his lip as Bokuto laughs, pressing in again to his mouth licking along Akaashi’s bottom lip.

They’re able to kiss for a few moments, giggling as they’re ignored by the rest of the world. But before they realize it Akaashi’s father is returning, the sound of his footsteps on the gravel forcing the two men apart. 

Akaashi sits back, hiding behind his hand as Bokuto stands straight, shoulders rolling back, large and broad that makes Akaashi roll his eyes. Bokuto is most definitely doing it on purpose now. Bokuto puts his hands in his pockets as Akaashi’s father walks in, holding in both hands a tray of drinks.

“Soda for my son, and I got you a beer Bokuto, is that okay?” he asks and hands Akaashi his drink then Bokuto. 

“Of course.” Bokuto takes a swig of the open bottle while Akaashi shyly takes a sip of his glass. They both stay quiet as Akaashi’s father talks about how the garden was set up. 

They spend the rest of the day lounging about the house, hiding from the sun and the heat in their room and watching TV on the couch. Akaashi’s mother speaks very little to them, only to Akaashi if she does, and most often only when he’s alone.  

She’s out in the garden when Bokuto tries to talk to her. Akaashi waits on the porch a few feet back, watching. 

“You need any help here Mrs.?” Bokuto keeps a hand to the back of his neck, a smile wide on his face. Akaashi holds his breath, begging in his head for his mother to at least talk to the man he loves. “I’d love to help.” 

His mother doesn’t say anything, only continues digging, but when Bokuto stands there, locking her in his shadow she finally pauses. 

“No thank you dear, I’m perfectly fine.” 

She doesn’t see, but Akaashi does. Bokuto’s shoulders completely deflate as he sulks, hunching over with his head bent. Akaashi is about to stand, his palms heating up with anger as his mother again refuses to acknowledge Bokuto. 

“If you want to get me a bag of dirt though that might be nice, they’re too heavy for me to carry.” 

Bokuto perks up, nodding his head quickly and starting in the direction that she points. 

Akaashi sits back down, watching as Bokuto retrieves the bag of dirt, putting it down next to his mother and she offers him a bland and emotionless thank you. 

Bokuto returns to Akaashi, glancing over his shoulder only once. He shrugs, and Akaashi nods, reaching out to rub his hand on Bokuto’s shoulder, consoling him. 

It frustrates Akaashi, to watch Bokuto do this. Every turn, every day, every try Bokuto makes over the first week is pushed away by his mother. His head runs circles with anxiety and rage as he watches the love of his life mope and pout at his mother’s lack of approval. Bokuto tries and succeeds with everyone else, who frantically try to make up for Akaashi’s mother. Bokuto helps Miyano with a painting project, Botan with catching fireflies, and Aya and him even make lunch together one day. His sisters take a liking to Bokuto and he shares beers with their husbands. And every moment Akaashi gets to spend around Bokuto, smiling and talking with his family, the more he wants all of this to last. But the moment his mother arrives, the moment she opens her mouth with another question, it all vanishes. His chest aches and his hands tremble at the thought of her knowing about Bokuto. She’s relentless and asks again over the course of three days what Bokuto does exactly, how he came to work at the magazine, what made him interested in sports and the industry, how did he start? All of the questions probe deeper into Bokuto’s life, and Bokuto evades them as best he can, but with each one Akaashi descends more and more into frantic earthshaking worry.

Bokuto tries his best to keep Akaashi calm. He holds his hand every moment he can, keeping him close when he can see Akaashi pulling at his fingers. He’ll press his thumb in the crease on his forehead when he’s worrying too much, or sit with him when he reads to make sure he doesn’t get lost in thought. Bokuto does all he can to keep Akaashi distracted from the tightness in his chest. But when the sunsets and the rest of the house parts to sleep, Akaashi is left alone, and there’s nothing Bokuto can do to keep him from breaking down. He’ll lie awake in the darkness, waiting desperately for the exhaustion in his bones to take over, but his eyes will refuse to close. Then when he feels restless with frustration and defeated by his thoughts, he’ll finally leave the bed and make his way to the living room. He’ll turn on the tv and watch something until Bokuto comes out to find him again, pulling him into his lap and falls asleep there with him. They do this every night, and when Akaashi finally sleeps for an hour or two, he’ll wake up to Bokuto gone from beneath him, having left for his morning run. 

It all seems so quiet though, despite the fear, or the anger, or the questions, it feels peaceful, and Akaashi is thankful for that. 

“Dinner time!” His father calls from the garden porch, everyone out sitting on the lawn. They gather as a group, collecting the blanket, and moving towards the house. Bokuto holds Akaashi from around his waist, telling him of what he saw on his run that morning. It was a really quiet day. Akaashi feels the warmth in his chest spread into his cheeks as he smiles.   

Akaashi’s mother has set the table, setting bowls of food down in the center of the table for everyone to serve themselves from. They all take their seats around the table, the garden shades open to let in the breeze and when all have sat, and have chopsticks in hand, they dig in. 

It takes 10 minutes. 

They’ve all gotten food, and Bokuto is talking to Aya when Akaashi’s mother speaks up. 

“Bokuto, did you go to university?” She asks without looking up from her rice. She’s stirring in a cold egg. 

Bokuto, and most of the table, looks up at her in surprise. She hadn’t said much since they’d sat down. 

“Yes, I did,” Bokuto answers simply, a smile coming onto his face. Gently Bokuto reaches his hand under the table, wrapping it around Akaashi’s. 

Akaashi's heart races in his chest, waiting for his mother’s motivation for the question to be revealed. It’s like his lungs are being filled with smoke, the burning in his chest choking him. 

“And what did you study?” Now she looks up, her glasses sitting on the tip of her nose as she peers through them. 

“I studied Business and Marketing.” Bokuto tells the truth, and Akaashi’s heart plummets.

“Really?” She pauses and everyone waits. “And yet you work at a magazine? You don’t own a business?” 

Akaashi’s eyes flicker from his mother to Miyaki, who’s staring directly at him. He can see her gritting her teeth. Bokuto shakes his head. 

“I work at the magazine only,” Bokuto says, and this is the fatal lie Bokuto tells. Akaashi squeezes his hand as he tries to keep himself from shaking. He’s the one making him do this, making him lie. 

“Keiji, just tell them,” Miyaki speaks up and Akaashi’s eyes rip up from his food to stare at her. 

“Be quiet!” he snaps, and regrets his tone the second the words leave his mouth. The table looks back and forth between the four of them as Miyaki sits up in shock. 

“Keiji that was uncalled for.” Ichika scolds but Akaashi doesn’t look away from Miyaki, their eyes locked on each other. 

Akaashi rarely ever fights with his sisters, he’s never been one for conflict, but this isn’t something he can let her do. She’d ruin them if she revealed it. 

“Miyaki, what are you talking about?” Ichika asks gently and Akaashi shakes his head slightly, begging her not to say anything. His brows knit together and he internally pleads. His hand grips into his knee, small dents forming in his skin as his nails dig in. 

Please. Please don’t. I can’t take it. 

Miyaki opens her mouth, glancing at Akaashi then Ichika. Everyone waits, but before any of her words can release from her mouth Bokuto speaks up. 

“Please, Miyaki,” Bokuto says and Miyaki’s eyes rush over to him wide with surprise. “This is something personal to me, and I’d ask you to not reveal it. It’s my personal information.” 

Miyaki looks at Bokuto in disbelief that he’s playing along, looking from Akaashi to Bokuto before resigning in silence.

No one says a word after that, not even Akaashi’s mother, the only sound in the room: the clink of their forks. The children whisper on occasion but every time it quickly dies before they can say much of anything. 

Akaashi feels as if he’s suffocating, his lungs filled full with worry. No relief finds him, not even that night as he finds himself again waiting alone in the dark for sleep.

Akaashi sits with his knees to his chest on the couch, the glowing blue light of the cartoon on the tv illuminating his face and the floor below him. He tries to blink away the tears and calm his chest as he struggles to find respite. He holds his knees tighter and is tempted to fall onto his side, but he knows it’ll be fruitless. 

Akaashi scratches at his forearm, the red patch blooming on his skin. The pain is dull. 

The cartoon is one he used to watch as a kid, when he was sad or troubled, he’d turn it all and lose himself in its bright colors. Now he mouths a long slightly to the words, still remembering the simple dialogue, and it somehow has a sliver of the same effect. His chest aches less, even by just a millimeter.

“Keiji,” Bokuto’s voice whispers through him and Akaashi looks up. His eyes sting from not blinking, from staring too wide and the television. He squints at his boyfriend, his sleepy image coming into view, glowing in the blue light now too. 

“Hi,” Akaashi whispers and tries to offer him a smile but only manages to twitch his lips. Bokuto yawns and makes his way to him, sliding onto the couch next to his curled up figure. He puts a leg behind Akaashi and gently tugs him closer between his legs, until his shoulder rests against his chest. Bokuto holds Akaashi’s cheek, presses a kiss to the opposite one before leaning his forehead to Akaashi’s temple. 

“You’re crying, my love.” And Akaashi nods. Bokuto rubs his hand in circles on Akaashi’s back. 

Akaashi puts his legs down and lets himself be pulled closer even more, letting Bokuto pepper kisses to his cheek and jaw and kisses. Akaashi eventually giggles and then Bokuto smiles. 

“That tickles,” Akaashi says and smiles as Bokuto nods against him. 

“Good, it’s supposed to.” and he presses another kiss just under Akaashi’s eyes. 

Bokuto wraps his arms around Akaashi, squeezing him tight until Akaashi holds onto his arms, smiling at Bokuto’s affections. “Why are you crying?” 

Bokuto asks even though Akaashi he’s certain he knows. Akaashi sighs and leans into Bokuto, his head resting now on Bokuto’s shoulder. 

“They hate you, and I don’t know what to do about it.” 

“They don’t hate me.” Bokuto is quick to respond, pushing away Akaashi’s negative thoughts right away. “They’re only curious, and they’re protective of you almost as much as I am.” 

Akaashi doesn’t say anything for a moment, only focuses on the warmth of Bokuto’s hand on his skin, creeping up under his shirt to be as close as possible. 

“I feel like my chest is going to break open.” 

“Do your breathing exercises.” Bokuto shifts to look at Akaashi forcing him to sit up to meet his eyes. 

“I have.”

“Then let's do them again.” and Bokuto takes Akaashi’s hand, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles and listening as Akaashi takes in a deep breath and holds it. Repeating after a moment and then waiting. Akaashi can feel his chest loosen, under the ease of the breathing and the warmth of Bokuto’s hands. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers and Bokuto tilts his head, “for making you hide like this.” Bokuto sighs and offers a small smile. 

“I don’t care Keiji, I know it means a lot to you so I’m happy to do it.” Akaashi looks up at him. “Plus I don’t really like bragging much, so hiding it isn’t all that difficult.” 

“You always seem to show off in front of me,” Akaashi teases and Bokuto smiles. 

“That’s because I like spoiling you.” and Bokuto pulls Akaashi closer again, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Akaashi’s jaw. “But seriously,” he pulls away, his eyes soft, “I get it, and it doesn’t bother me.” 

Akaashi tries to take another deep breath, but the knot in his throat locks it up inside him as he starts to cry again, aching from the guilt despite Bokuto’s words. 

Bokuto sighs and pulls Akaashi into him, scooching down to lie them back onto the couch. He pulls the blanket over them, and lets Akaashi cry into his chest until he sobs himself to sleep. Bokuto rubs circles into his back until he does. 

Akaashi wakes to the twittering of the birds in the morning, the window in the room open. He blinks awake and curls his fingers into Bokuto’s t-shirt, taking his first breath mixed with Bokuto’s scent. He has the urge to cuddle closer, but then he hears the tv on, the sound of talking in the background, and the shift of someone else on the couch. 

Akaashi leans up, stretching to see who it is. Aya sits at the other end of the couch, tv remote in hand as she changes the channel. 

“Aya.” Akaashi squints and Aya looks at him. 

“Morning uncle,” she says, then returns to her show. She doesn’t seem at all bothered by the two of them sleeping, but still Akaashi isn’t sure how he likes a spectator intruding on their sleep. 

Akaashi reaches up and cups Bokuto’s cheek, his eyes still closed. 

“Koutarou, wake up,” he whispers and Bokuto groans before instinctually pulling Akaashi closer, arm wrapped around his waist. 

They’ve turned over on the couch from how they rested last night, both now on their sides, facing each other as Akaashi is pinning into the back cushions. 

He sits up, leaning on one hand to look down at Bokuto. Usually he’s already left for his run, but he must have forgotten to set the alarm last night. 

“Koutarou.” Akaashi shakes Bokuto by the shoulder, pulling out another sleepy groan before his eyes flutter open. “We have to get up, Aya is trying to watch tv.” 

Bokuto takes a sharp breath, and looks at Akaashi above him, brows pulled together. Usually Bokuto would pout and shake his head when he’s been woken up, pulling Akaashi back down against him, refusing to let him go. Bokuto’s particularly cuddly in the morning. 

When Bokuto’s taken a moment to register what Akaashi’s said, and has looked to Aya, who doesn’t acknowledge them or their conversation, he nods and starts to sit up. 

They shuffle off to the bedroom and when Bokuto falls face forward into the bed, Akaashi simply crawls in next to him, lifting his arm and putting it around him again. They both fall asleep there again, sleeping wrapped in each other until the heat forces them into the day hours later. 

The tension in the air over the course of the next few days is almost palpable, sticky in the air as Bokuto or Akaashi walk into a room, his sisters talking to them with stiff words. They’re all holding in thoughts, and Akaashi’s mother especially seems to act colder than she had before. 

Bokuto and Akaashi continue to dance around certain questions, mostly now from Akaashi’s father. Everyone has become suspicious, and curious. It infuriates Akaashi, how none of them seem to respect Bokuto’s request, even if Bokuto only made it for Akaashi’s sake. They probe and pressure with their questions.          

Akaashi’s father doesn’t ask the worst questions. He asks about Bokuto’s family, his upbringing. And Bokuto tells him the truth, how his mother lives abroad, and how he lived in Tokyo as a kid before moving to Osaka and working in the ramen shop. He occupies Akaashi’s father with stories until they’ve tired of his background and move on to the present. 

Akaashi hands Bokuto his beer, the two of them sharing one. 

“Keiji,” his father starts and Akaashi looks up as he takes a seat on the grass. “Have you shown Bokuto the flower grove?” and Akaashi gasps, his heart fluttering with the memory. 

“I haven’t,” he says and looks at Bokuto, who looks at him curiously. “I forgot about that place, I haven’t been in years.” 

“What's the flower grove?” Bokuto asks and hands back the beer after a swig. 

“It’s a big patch of flowers past the berry brambles. Just down the hill.” 

“Sounds pretty,” Bokuto says, and Akaashi nods.

“It is, I used to go there all the time in middle and highschool to read, had a special rock I rolled into the center and everything.”

“Can we go see it?” and Akaashi nods, smiling wide at the thought of taking Bokuto there. 

“Sure, we can go after dinner.” 

Akaashi’s evening seems to be turned around by the idea of Bokuto and him in the flower field. They go through dinner easily, the family calm and happy. Akaashi feels for the first time in days like all is okay again. 

Bokuto waits for Akaashi at the porch, sitting with his legs kicking as Akaashi gathers a blanket and anything else he needs. 

“Come on Keiji!!!” Bokuto calls his voice high and excited as he leans back to look into the house.

The rest of the family has gone for an evening walk, leaving the two of them to stay and see the flower field. Akaashi is thankful for the alone time, eager to lean into the comfort of Bokuto’s company. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Akaashi says as he hops on one foot, pulling on his sandal. 

Bokuto stands as he approaches, offering up a hand for Akaashi to take as he drops down into the garden. “Thank you.” And Bokuto smiles, a bright and eager smile that makes his eyes close. 

“I’m excited,” Bokuto says as he slips his hand into Akaashi’s, holding it as they begin to walk.

The property extends down the hill of the back pasture, following a path down towards a creek that flows through the middle. They stumble down the hill, Akaashi giggling as Bokuto struggles to stay upright, walking in the tall grass towards the creek.

“I never realized how much land this actually is,” Bokuto says, looking back towards the house that’s shrunk down in the distance now. 

“Yeah, we share it with the neighbors, it goes all the way down to the next house past the big cherry trees.” 

Bokuto looks out over the land, towards the even smaller house in the distance obscured by the green trees, probably already full with fruit. Bokuto squeezes Akaashi’s hand, looking down now as they cross the water, feet dipping into the chilling stream. 

“Did you alway come down here?” and Akaashi nods. He stumbles, wobbling on a slippery rock. 

“I used to come to read in the summers, and sometimes my sisters would join, but for the most part it was just me. I enjoyed the flowers.”

They make their way towards the trees of the grove, walking between their branches and trunks into a grand patch of flowers. In the summer the flowers bloom brightly, with pinks and purples and whites. But the flower that blooms the most, is the dandelion, spread out across the long grass, specling the ground like small yellow stars in a sky of green. They stop for a moment as Bokuto looks around, his mouth parted in a small ‘o’ of awe, looking from the flowers to Akaashi who smiles while pulling him towards the center. 

They lay out the blanket Akaashi’s brought and settle down on the shorter grass, padded down by the blanket and time. 

“Aya must come out here quite a bit still, I showed it to her years back.” 

“I understand why, it’s gorgeous Keiji.” Bokuto whispers the last part, leaning forward until his forehead bumps into Akaashi’s temple. 

Akaashi nods and pulls a little at the grass, soaking up the warmth of the heat, beating down on them from between the tree branches. The evening sun burns bright with orange rays, casting everything into deep shadows and Akaashi breathes in the sweet scent of the flowers all around them. Bokuto props his knee up behind Akaashi, sitting as close as he can with Akaashi partially between his legs. 

He reaches up to his face, tucking a curl behind Akaashi’s ear. 

“You were able to sleep last night,” he says and Akaashi smiles, nodding as he looks up at Bokuto. 

“I took some pills my mom used to give me.” And Bokuto laughs. His hands fiddle with the grass in front of him, waiting for Bokuto to comment. 

“We should bring some home with us.” 

“I don’t have trouble sleeping that much!” Akaashi protests and Bokuto laughs again, nodding. 

“You struggle every now and then.” and Akaashi pouts looking away from Bokuto who only comes closer, leaning in with a kiss to Akaashi’s cheek. 

Bokuto waits another moment, tucking more hair behind Akaashi’s ear and running a thumb over his cheek. Akaashi’s cheeks burn with his touch, his lips involuntarily curling into a smile. His hand drops and Bokuto leans back on his hands. 

“So, what did you bring for us to read?” he asks and watches Akaashi expectantly, waiting for him to pull out a book as he always does. But this time Akaashi just shrugs.

“I didn’t bring one.” And Bokuto looks shocked, brows rising in surprise and mouth dropping open in exaggeration. He sits up again, closer. 

“What ever will we do then?” and Akaashi giggles, tilting his head back as Bokuto looks down on him, turning his head for their lips to meet. But when they don’t Akaashi looks at Bokuto confused. 

Bokuto cups Akaashi’s face, looking at him with a smile and soft eyes. 

“There it is. I’ve missed that smile,” Bokuto whispers. Akaashi’s brows knit together at Bokuto’s words, unsure what he means. 

“I’ve been smiling plenty,” He whispers and Bokuto shakes his head. 

“Yeah, but not like this.” And Akaashi rolls his head, leaning away, but Bokuto catches him again, palm to the side of his face, holding him still before him. Bokuto leans in, pressing his lips to the bone of Akaashi’s cheek, at the corner of his eye causing Akaashi to squint. 

“The kind that makes your eyes crinkle,” and then a kiss to his cheek, “the kind that makes your cheeks red and warm.” Another kiss to the corner of his mouth, “A smile that makes your mouth split wide open.” Akaashi purses his lips as Bokuto presses a chaste one on them, “and then I can see the cute little scar on your tongue as you laugh.” 

Akaashi melts into Bokuto as he finally kisses him fully, but just for a moment before he giggles again. He pulls away and looks down at the flowers. 

“You’re incredibly cheesy,” Akaashi deadpans while trying to hide his smile. 

“Oh but you’ve known this.” and Bokuto rushes in again, pressing kiss after kiss against Akaashi’s neck until Akaashi can’t hold back his laughter. “You’ve known this for a while, and you’re still here.” 

Akaashi fights off Bokuto’s kisses, wiggling his way to face Bokuto and take him in a full kiss. Holding his cheeks as he kisses him with heavy breath and laughter, their lips moving on each other with excitement. Then slowly they descend into warm need, Akaashi focusing on the feel of Bokuto lips, wet on his as he sucks on Bokuto’s bottom lip, wrapping his arms over Bokuto’s shoulders. Each time Akaashi leans away Bokuto chases after him, unwavering in his desire, licking his tongue along the crease of Akaashi’s mouth, asking for permission inside. Akaashi’s fingers curl into the back of Bokuto’s shirt, and he can feel the heat in his cheeks travel to his ears and bloom across his shoulders, wanting to be closer. His head feels dizzy and he trembles slightly with the flutter in his stomach. 

Bokuto bites his lip, then licks the burning dent before deepening the kiss even more, tilting Akaashi’s head back as his tongue sweeps inside along Akaashi’s own. Akaashi holds back a moan, only a sliver of a sound escaping as he tries to keep himself restrained. 

“Stop,” Akaashi gasps, pulling away and Bokuto stutters in his chase before halting. He opens his eyes and looks at Akaashi in want. Akaashi tries not to give in, already feeling himself too excited. “If we keep going I’ll want to take it too far,” he whispers and Bokuto’s eyes widen. 

“Oh ho ho!” he says and again wraps his arms around Akaashi suddenly pulling him against him and leaning them back. Akaashi falls into Bokuto’s lap, resting chest to chest as Bokuto laughs. He sits up, huffing as he hovers now over Bokuto. Bokuto just smiles, brushing away his bangs. He cups his cheek and pulls him down for a last kiss, and Akaashi can’t help but smile. “I’ve missed kissing you like that.” 

Akaashi rolls his eyes, shaking his head. But he’ll admit, he’s missed it too, being so close and available to Bokuto’s wants all the time, the constant affection. 

Bokuto plucks one of the dandelions from the grass, tucking the stem into Akaashi’s hair. 

“You know when I was younger I used to make flower crowns out of these.” Akaashi glances up as if to look at the flower in his hair. Bokuto gasps, eyes sparkling with wonder. 

“Can you make me one?” Bokuto asks, cupping both Akaashi’s cheeks to keep him in place. Akaashi laughs and nods before pushing off of Bokuto, the both of them now sitting up.

Akaashi gathers a few of the flowers from in front of them, trying to pick ones that seem full of petals and have strong stems. Bokuto sits close again, leaning back on the large rock behind them. 

“How’s work fairing without you?” Akaashi asks and Bokuto’s brows push up, his lips pursing in thought. Akaashi’s seen him answering a few emails here and there but haven’t heard anything about major developments. 

Akaashi starts to loop the flowers together. 

“No clue, been completely off the grid.” 

Akaashi stops, glaring at Bokuto with knowing eyes. 

“I know you’ve been checking in Kou, I’ve seen you emailing.” and Bokuto starts to pout, looking away in disappointment. 

“I thought I was being sneaky.” This makes Akaashi laugh, his heart bouncing in his chest at Bokuto’s effort to be present for their small get away. 

“It’s okay, I know how you love to work,” Akaashi says and reaches over to caress Bokuto’s thigh before returning to looping the flowers. They slip easily into each other, securing as they slowly form a chain. 

“Well in that case…it’s been going smoothly, which I’m surprised about.” Akaashi nods, listening to Bokuto discuss and pout about the magazine being secure without him. In true Bokuto fashion, he likes to be needed. “There’s been a slight sales drop recently and they’ve been managing to adjust accordingly, trying to get more interesting interviews and target the audience much more.” 

“Will there be an issue if sales drop more?” Akaashi asks. He’s almost finished, looking around for the last couple of flowers. 

“No, not necessarily, with the change in sports seasons there’s always a shift in sales, and it’s not drastic enough to impact the overall profit.” Bokuto closes his eyes, pillowing the back of his head with his arms as he soaks in the sun. “For the most part, I’ve just been approving actions and receiving meeting notes. But I’ll review those when we get home.” 

“Sounds like you’ve got some studying to do.” And Akaashi giggles. 

There’s a moment of silence as Bokuto drops his work talk and stares up into the tree branches. Akaashi only glances at him, waiting for him to speak more, but Bokuto only smiles when their eyes meet, holding Akaashi’s gaze. Akaashi feels the heat rush into his cheeks, never able to stay calm under Bokuto’s warm eyes. 

Bokuto sits up, crossing his legs, and plucking a dandelion from the ground, the ones that have faded into the small seedling fluff balls. Bokuto holds it out to Akaashi, making him stop his flower looping. 

“Make a wish,” He says, and Akaashi’s thoughts pause. He only stares at the round wish granting flower. He hasn’t made a wish on one since he was younger, blowing hundred of them in hopes of childish things. But now he’s at a loss, what could he possibly wish for now? He’s grown and loved, and has everything he used to ask for already. 

Akaashi thinks about wishing for his family to love Bokuto, to solve the sour ache in his heart. But at the same time, he feels that would be a waste of a wish. 

As the wind picks up, softly rushing past them, Akaashi sucks in a breath and blows on the dying flower. He closes his eyes as he does, and wishes for the simplest thing he can think of, the thing he wants the most. 

The seedlings scatter into the air. They both watch them drift up and across the field, disappearing into the sky. Akaashi looks back at Bokuto with a smile before returning to the flower crown, looping in the last two flowers. 

“What did you wish for?” Bokuto asks, tossing the stem into the field. He looks at Akaashi with small stars in his eyes, his smile bright on his lips. His hands slide onto Akaashi’s waist. 

“I can’t tell you, or else it won't come true… and I very much want it to.” 

Bokuto pouts. 

“I know you don’t believe in that, please…” Akaashi secures the ring of flowers, finally turning it into a crown. Akaashi turns, reaching up and placing the flower crown onto Bokuto’s head, brushing away a few fallen strands as he does. The flower crown nestles into Bokuto’s hair, glowing against the gray and white strands. Bokuto smiles at him. 

“I wished for us to be happy together, that’s all,” Akaashi whispers, telling only the truth as he looks up at Bokuto, leaning in. “That’s all I want for now.” 

Akaashi presses in for a kiss, feeling Bokuto’s smile against his own when he pulls away again. 

“Well I’m very happy with you, Keiji,” Bokuto says and Akaashi smiles, breathing in a deep breath. 

“Yeah… me too.” 

Bokuto leans in again, kissing Akaashi as the wind picks up again rustling Akaashi’s hair, and tilting Bokuto’s crown. They kiss until the sun sets, and the sky turns blue, only breaking a part to speak on easy things. They’re idle in their affections, and Bokuto keeps the crown upon his head, telling of how handsome he feels, and making Akaashi laugh. 

When the evening has turned into dusk, they gather the blanket and walk back to the house, Bokuto happily swinging their entwined hands back and forth as they do. 

As they walk through the grass, the house now coming into view, Akaashi can see the two figures on the back porch, waiting for them. And as they become clearer and clearer his stomach sinks into a churning sickness, his skin now burning hot with nervousness. 

He pulls on Bokuto’s hand who looks to Akaashi with concern then follows his line of sight to the porch. They pause for only a moment, Bokuto trying to reassure Akaashi that it’s okay. He cups his face as Akaashi’s brows scrunch up, his breath getting heavier. He tells him to breathe but Akaashi can barely hear over the pounding of his heart. 

He knows they’re going to ask now, they’re looking at them in waiting. They’re going to demand the truth, and they’ll hate him, they’ll ask them to leave. Bokuto will have to leave. 

It’ll ruin us, they’ll hate me, he’ll hate me. 

Akaashi feels like his head is packed with thoughts, the pressure overwhelming. 

Bokuto takes his hand, pulling him along again, and Akaashi takes small steps before falling into stride at Bokuto’s side.

The house grows closer like an imminent danger, his parent’s expectant faces growing clearer. They smile a bit and Akaashi swallows his heart beat. Bokuto waves to them as they approach and stop before them at the porch. 

“How’d you like the flowers?” Akaashi’s father asks with a smile, and for a moment Akaashi thinks maybe he was scared for nothing. 

“It was great! Really pretty,” Bokuto says. Akaashi stays silent out of fear, holding tightly to Bokuto’s hand, hoping that neither of his parents notice. Could they hear his heart? 

“I’m glad.” 

There’s a beat of silence and Bokuto is about to pull Akaashi away when Akaashi’s mother speaks up, “We want to discuss what you’ve been keeping from us.” Akaashi stiffens. 

“We know you’ve been keeping something.” 

Akaashi’s mother is brash, her face stern and waiting for an answer. His father's face is soft, hoping for the truth. 

“It’s nothing important, just private info.” Akaashi says and pulls Bokuto towards the porch steps. They make it up to the porch, about to go inside when Akaashi’s father speaks up, and the two follow them inside.  

“Keiji please, if it’s something so simple why is it hard to tell us? We’re only worried.” Akaashi chokes on his words, trying to find any excuse. They’re both standing in the sitting room, waiting for any sort of answer Akaashi can give. 

“Keiji I know you aren’t telling us the truth, you’ve been hiding from us for years now and hiding information ever since you arrived. I want to know what it is. I want to get to know Bokuto but that can’t happen if you wont tell us anything about him. How are we supposed to trust either of you?” 

Akaashi stands with his back to them, trying to take a deep breath, squeezing tightly to Bokuto’s hand. He turns his skin crawling with fear and anger, at how harsh his mother is, how he speaks without concern for others, how she butts into his life like he owes her all his information. 

“You’re supposed to trust me because you raised me. You should believe in my choices.” His voice is brusque, his words sharply cutting the waiting silence. 

His mother doesn’t speak up, their eyes locked on each other. Bokuto’s hand comes up to Akaashi’s shoulder, softening the tension in his body. Akaashi looks up at him, and he feels the sting of his tears in his eyes. Bokuto gives him a calm but concerned look, and Akaashi knows what it means. 

He lets go of Bokuto’s hand, tugging on his own now. His heart races in his chest, the anger suddenly melting into more fear. He tries not to shake. 

“It’s not a bad thing, I just didn’t want you to judge him. I love him, and I want you all to know him for who he is before knowing about how he lives.” He tugs at his fingers, the skin burning at the pressure. 

“We won't judge, we’d never judge your partners, we just want you to be happy,” his mother says, and her voice is soft for once, concerned. “We want to make sure you’re not giving too much of yourself away.” Akaashi can see the fear in her eyes now too, their expressions mirrored in each other. 

“It’s nothing terrible, only his money.” Akaashi says it quickly, trying to push it out of himself before he tries to hide again.

“What do you mean?” Akaashi’s father asks, and Akaashi bites his lip unsure how to explain without total embarrassment. 

Bokuto’s hand lifts from Akaashi’s shoulder then and starts to dig into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. Bokuto tugs out a business card and hands it over to his parents. 

“I don’t work at a magazine, I own one. Keiji just didn’t want you to make assumptions.” Bokuto says it plainly. 

Akaashi’s father takes the card, holding it for them both to look at. Akaashi keeps his eyes trained on the floor, counting the grooves in the tatami mat to stay calm. 

“I just didn’t want you—” 

“To judge him, you’ve said.” Akaashi swallows. He wants to reach out again for Bokuto, desperately needing his comfort; but the shakiness in his hands, and the eyes of his mother boring into him keep him from doing so. “This is it? Thats all?” Akaashi looks up finally. 

His mother’s eyes look pained, shaking as she questions him, and for a moment he feels small again. She looks at him like she used to when he was a child, saddened when he’d disobey, or when he’d lie, like she did when he said he was scared she’d hate him for loving who he loves. 

Akaashi nods, and he wants to take a step back, to cry and apologize for hurting his mother. He was just scared. 

“We wouldn’t have judged,” She says simply and swiftly walks past him, leaving him staring into his father’s face for help. But he offers none, only approaches and places a hand on Akaashi’s shoulder.

“I know how you’ve spoken in the past, I just didn’t want you to think he was using me, or I was using him!” Akaashi pleads, but his father only shakes his head. 

“We would never think so low of you Keiji, we can see Bokuto loves you.” Akaashi sucks in a breath, his face contorting as his heart sinks with guilt. “Please, think better of us.” Akaashi nods fervently, his bones shaking inside him.

Akaashi’s father pulls him into his arms, hugging him and Akaashi bends to bury his head to his shoulder, nodding again. 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” 

It’s all he can say, as his father lets him go. He hands Bokuto the card and offers him an apologetic smile before he leaves the two of them in the garden room, Akaashi staring out into the darkening trees. 

Bokuto puts a hand on his back, not able to give him any words of comfort. But it’s enough for Akaashi, just to have his hand on him, as Bokuto steps closer and pulls Akaashi into his chest, hugging him tight. It’s all enough, even without words. 

“I think I want to shower,” Akaashi whispers, and nuzzles slightly into Bokuto’s chest, feeling the warmth of his heart as Akaashi’s hands still shake. Akaashi wraps his arms around Bokuto despite what he’s said, and hugs him as the tears finally start to stream down his cheeks. “I’ll shower and feel better.” His voice is thin, and he can’t seem to keep it steady. His fingers grip into Bokuto’s shirt and his lip quivers. 

Bokuto holds him tighter as the tears soak into his shirt, as Akaashi struggles to breathe. His hand finds its way to the back of Akaashi’s head and cradles it there. He nods his head as Akaashi clings to him. 

“A shower sounds nice,” Bokuto whispers. But Akaashi only holds tighter, and they stay like that for some time, hoping on the idea of a shower to wash Akaashi clean of his guilt. 

When Akaashi finally lets go, Bokuto wipes away his tears with his thumbs and says he has nothing to fear now, this will all get better soon. Akaashi tries his best to believe him despite the aching in his chest, so he nods and forces a smile. 

“I’m… actually going to go shower now,” Akaashi says, and Bokuto huffs a laugh before he nods. 

“I’ll be here when you’re done.” 

Akaashi leaves Bokuto standing there as he silently finds his way to the bathroom. He strips and makes slow work of cleaning himself, trying to hold in the sobs still locked in his throat. He let his thoughts wander only to the dandelion field, reliving the conversation and moments with Bokuto, silently wishing they would have stayed longer. He catalogs what he’ll have to do when he returns home, how Miku may be fairing on her own, being taken care of by Tomo. He lets his mind sink into the mundane inorder to escape the chaos.

When Akaashi emerges, and towels off in their room, he leaves to find Bokuto on the porch again. 

Bokuto is exactly where he said he would be, sitting on the porch waiting for Akaashi, but when Akaashi turns the corner he sees not just him at the edge of the wood deck. 

Akaashi’s mother sits next to him and Bokuto is listening to her words. 

Akaashi hides behind the corner again, tempted to interrupt them but also not wanting to see his mother. He presses his forehead to the shade door, and listens. 

“Is that truly all that you two were keeping from us?” Akaashi’s mother sounds in disbelief, but Bokuto nods. “It seems so simple, I would have thought he’d trust us more.” 

“He was only worried you would think I was bragging,” Bokuto says and his face takes on a soft expression. 

“I don’t know when this happened, when he lost faith in our trust. I don’t want him to be afraid of us.” She sucks in a deep breath, and looks up towards the clouds. “I don’t know when I became too harsh.” 

Akaashi peers around the corner and he can see Bokuto’s hands twitching, wanting to reach out, to offer comfort in the best way he can. 

“I know it’s only out of protection, and Keiji does too.” Akaashi’s mother looks at Bokuto and nods. “Keiji just has a hard time remembering how much people love him sometimes.” 

His mother smiles, and offers a soft chuckle. 

“That sounds about right, he’s always been like that.” She sucks in another breath. “He’s also always had a hard time seeing when they don’t though.” Akaashi looks between the two of them, their words hanging in the air. “That’s why I’m so protective. When Keiji was little, he didn’t have many friends. In fact, he was bullied for most of elementary school, and even still he was nicer than anyone else to his bullies. He even asked to make them cookies once.” Her voice shakes slightly. Akaashi grips the hem of Bokuto’s shirt he’s wearing. 

“I just wanted to be liked,” He whispers, quietly to himself. Neither of the two hear him. 

“It was always the little boys that were the worst, and I know that’s a wrong assumption, but as a mother I was scared. So when Keiji told me he wanted to date boys, that he had a crush, I was terrified. That they’d hurt him, that he’d still be blind to their manipulation for the sake of wanting to be loved.” She brings her hand to her face, wiping her cheek with her palm. “I decided that if he couldn’t see it, I’d have to protect him myself. I couldn’t trust them with him, he was too soft. But now I think I’ve only pushed him away.” 

Bokuto puts out a hand, touching her shoulder softly, and she looks up at him. 

“You don’t have to worry anymore,” He whispers, “Keiji is the strongest person I know.” 

Akaashi remembers when he felt his mother become harsh. He remembers the boy, and the look in her eyes when he brought him home. He remembers trembling and how he wanted to run. He tried again of course, over the course of years. But slowly as his mother seemed to protect him more, seemed to become more and more suspicious, Akaashi became more and more distant. He doesn’t think either of them meant for it to happen, but slowly cracks formed and they became divided in their efforts to connect. 

“Please know I don’t hate you Bokuto, I think you’re wonderful, and I can see how much you love my Keiji.” She puts her hand over Bokuto’s on her shoulder. “You came out every night, without complaint or hesitation to comfort him. And then you stayed, and anyone who does that has to be in love.”

“I didn’t know you’d seen that?” Bokuto comments and Akaashi hears his mother chuckle. 

“I see everything in this house.” Bokuto laughs at that, throwing his head slightly back, and smiling with a nod. “I can see you love him, but I can’t trust just anyone with my children,” she drops her hand, “not until they’ve proven themselves.” 

Bokuto fiddles with his fingers, bringing his hand back to his lap. He sits up straight. 

“I understand,” he looks out at the sky and smiles, “and I look forward to proving myself. I’ll do anything for Keiji to be happy, and for you to accept me would do that.” 

Akaashi presses his forehead to the shade, his eyes stinging with tears again. He sniffles and wipes the back of his hand at his nose. He’s cried too much already today, but his eyes don’t seem to dry, the tears burning on his cheeks. 

When he was younger, Akaashi only wanted to be liked, he didn’t know that he could stand up for himself, he thought they’d hate him and he’d be left alone. He didn’t want to take up space, he didn’t want them to be troubled by him, so he thought if he was nice enough they’d change their minds. And it only got worse when he got older. When the men he would date started asking for things they shouldn’t, when they pushed and pushed past what Akaashi said he couldn’t give them. It only got worse and his mother only got more and more protective. 

“I need to return to Keiji, he’s probably still upset and I don’t want to leave him alone,” Bokuto says and Akaashi sucks in a sharp breath. He leans away from the door as he hears the creek of the porch under Bokuto’s weight.         

Akaashi gently rushes down the hall but before he enters he turns not sure if he should go back into the room. He takes a few steps and makes it look like he’s just come from the room, Bokuto suddenly in the same hall then. 

“Keiji,” Bokuto whispers with a smile. Akaashi can feel Bokuto looking at the redness in his eyes, swollen from crying, his cheeks still flushed from the heat. He pauses a moment as Bokuto comes closer, then he presses forward. 

Akaashi quickly walks up to Bokuto and pulls him down against him, wrapping his arms around his neck and squeezing him into a tight hug. He buries his face into the crook of his neck. 

Bokuto pauses for a moment, stunned at the sudden affection, then slowly his hands settle on Akaashi’s waist, wrapping around him and squeezing back. 

“I love you, Koutarou,” he whispers, into the softness of his skin, trying not to start crying again. There’s a moment before Bokuto speaks, Akaashi 100th confession hanging in the air. 

“I love you too, Keiji.” 

They stay there, for what feels like a timeless moment, until Akaashi slowly slides away from Bokuto and buries himself in his chest, breathing in his scent. And Bokuto stands there quietly, letting Akaashi do as he pleases, giving him what he asks when he asks without any hesitation. 

The sun draws the day to a close and as Akaashi drags Bokuto to bed, curling in around him for the night, he thinks about what he heard more. His mother was protecting him in the only way she thought she could. He’s reminded that no matter how he thinks or how they bicker, his mother loves him. The amount of relief that settles into Akaashi is immeasurable, it’s overwhelming and again he curses himself for breaking down again. Bokuto doesn’t ask when he cries, only pulls him in again and shushes him with a hand on his head in the darkness until Akaashi falls asleep. 

The next day begins without anything special. Akaashi sleeps through the night and wakes still wrapped up in Bokuto as the early sun brightens their room. He stares into the ceiling, Bokuto’s arm heavy across his chest, his breath warm on his shoulder. He does his best not to think of anything but those feelingings. How soft Bokuto’s skin is, how gentle his sleep feels in his breathing. 

“Kaashi…” Bokuto whines, a whisper of a call and Akaashi giggles at it. The man is still dreaming, and he pulls on Akaashi’s waist as he does. 

Akaashi turns on his side, looking down at Bokuto, eyes closed with gray lashes shifting as his eyes move in his sleep. Akaashi brings a hand up to brush the hairs from his forehead and his brows twitch at the touch. 

“Koutarou,” Akaashi whispers, and lays his head down, shuffling to be eye level with the sleeping beauty. 

Bokuto moans, shifting his head as Akaashi shifts closer. Akaashi smiles and wonders how Bokuto can possibly be so cute even when he’s asleep. Akaashi giggles to himself, and pillows his hand under his cheek. 

“Koutarou…” he calls again. 

“Mmm Kaashi, g’ back t’ sleep.” And suddenly Akaashi’s swallowed up by Bokuto’s arms, buried into him and squished until he’s struggling to breathe. 

“Ah— Ko— I can’t breathe.” he tries to push away as Bokuto holds tighter. “Koutarou, please.” 

Bokuto releases him, bending his head and sliding his hand down Akaashi’s back. 

“Mmm.” 

“Koutarou.” 

Bokuto’s hand has slid farther down his back, and over the curve of his ass, lightly palming at Akaashi’s cheek. 

“Mm.” 

“That’s my butt.” 

“Mhm.” and he squeezes it a little. Akaashi giggles as he pushes away from Bokuto, palms to his chest while looking at him, Akaashi’s smile, large and bright. Bokuto’s eyes look at him lazily, his lips widening into a toothy smile as he squeezes his ass one last time. “Mornin,” he whispers, and Akaashi rolls his eyes.

“Koutarou, it’s time to wake up,” Akaashi says. He tilts his head bringing a hand out to cup Bokuto’s cheek. 

“I don’t wanna.” And Bokuto pulls, again, Akaashi into his arms, hand still down Akaashi’s pants and the other now up his shirt as Akaashi tries to resist.

“I know, but we’re going to the beach today, so we must.” Akaashi pushes on Bokuto’s chest again, trying to pry his arms away from him, even if he does wish he could stay wrapped up in them. 

Akaashi laughs as Bokuto groans, shaking his head and burying his face now in Akaashi’s chest, slowly waking and distracting Akaashi with kisses over his neck and cheeks. But eventually, Akaashi crawls from the bed and pulls Bokuto with him. 

The house is already fully alive and bustling when they emerge from their rooms dressed for the beach, Bokuto already with his baseball cap and sunglasses on, and Akaashi with his bucket hat. Botan giggles and points out their matching swim trunks, both with little cartoon owls. 

“They were Koutarou’s idea,” Akaashi says and glances at Bokuto who blushes as he smiles, turning to hide in the fridge as he finishes out something to eat. Akaashi giggles and he pushes his hands in his pockets. “I think it’s cute, I like matching with him.” 

“You look funny!” Botan says and Akaashi laughs. 

“Thank you Botan, I enjoy looking funny.” 

Botan runs off as Aya calls him, laughing at Akaashi’s words, all of them already dressed in their swimming gear, covered from head to two in swim shirts and shorts. 

Bokuto closes the fridge and hands Akaashi a piece of bread with cheek and turkey on it, which he takes. 

“Thank you,” Akaashi says before taking a bite and Bokuto smiles. They lean on the counter waiting for the rest of the family as they eat, the two of them apparently having missed breakfast with the others. 

“Will we have lunch at the beach?” Bokuto asks, his mouth full of bread and Akaashi giggles and nods. 

“We always pack food for lunch and then come back in the evening for dinner.” Akaashi shoves the last of his food in his mouth. “If you want to bring something extra though go ahead, I know you eat a lot more with all that muscle.” Akaashy says this as he wiggles his brows and Bokuto almost chokes with a laugh. He nods, opening the fridge. 

Akaashi watches as Bokuto makes a few extra sandwiches, quietly layering the meat and cheese. Akaashi… enjoys watching Bokuto. But it also provides a decent distraction for when his mother comes into the room, putting on her glasses and rummaging through her beach bag, her keys rattling. Neither of them say anything, and Bokuto only offers her a glance and a smile. Then he glances at Akaashi, meeting his eyes and bunched up raised brows. 

“You’ll have to speak at some point,” Bokuto says once she’s gone, and Akaashi nods with a sigh. 

“I know.” 

“And it’ll have to be today, because we leave tomorrow.” Akaashi lowers his head into his hands, shaking his head as Bokuto presses down on his sandwiches. He doesn’t know what to do, he’s not good at confrontation or talking things out, at least not with his family or really anyone but Bokuto who usually starts it all for him. 

“Where are the sandwich bags?” Bokuto asks and Akaashi looks up, his face tights and helpless looking. He hasn’t even had coffee yet. “Oh baby, I know.” Bokuto rounds the corner of the island and cups Akaashi’s cheeks, pressing a kiss to his forehead as the shorter man pouts. 

“I don’t like this,” Akaashi whines and Bokuto nods and sighs and rubs his hand through Akaashi’s hair. 

“I know I know, but you’ve gotta be an adult, you gotta face these kinds of things.” 

Akaashi sighs again and nods. He slips from Bokuto’s grasp, shuffling to the counter behind Bokuto, opening a drawer and pulling out two sandwich zip bags. He holds them over his shoulder for Bokuto to take. 

“I’ll be there,” Bokuto says, “And I won't let you fall apart, I promise.” And he presses another quick kiss to the back of Akaashi’s head. 

Akaashi pushes the drawer close, not turning around to see Bokuto struggle to put his very fat sandwiches into the bags, squishing them down even more. The kids laugh and shout for everyone to hurry up, and Akaashi reluctantly picks up his phone, opening it to quickly look if there’s a coffee shop they can stop at on their way to the beach. 

The beach is only 30 minutes from the house, out east at the coast. Akaashi sits in the passenger seat as Bokuto drives the car, his window down and the wind sweeping through the car. Ichika and her husband sit in the back, and the rest of the family are in the van in front of them. The road stretches out long and seemingly never ending before them, fields passing them in a blur. 

Bokuto reaches over, taking Akaashi’s hand with one hand still on the wheel. Akaashi turns the dial on the radio, lowering it a little and changing the station to something more relevant. They all sit without speaking, and Akaashi glances at Bokuto. 

“Are you doing okay there? With the driving?” Akaashi asks and his lips curl into a smile, his eyes narrowing. Bokuto glares at him a little, his lips forming a pout. 

“I’m doing just fine.” 

“You know where the turn signal is?” 

“Yes, Keiji, I do.” And Akaashi laughs, squeezing Bokuto’s hand as he pouts more. 

The song drowns out the silence and Akaashi’s giggling as they return to their idle driving, passing through time effortlessly. Akaashi can see Ichika watching them through the mirror. 

“Did you and mom make up?” Ichika doesn’t mince her words and Akaashi tenses a little in his seat. Bokuto laces their fingers together. 

“Not yet, but we will,” Akaashi says, and he smiles at her through the mirror. She nods, reciprocating his expression. He wonders how she found out, if mother went to her after, if Miyaki had overheard. What if they all did? 

Akaashi stares down at his lap, fiddling with the string on the hem of his trunks. He takes in a deep breath, trying to fill his lungs all the way, then quickly changes the music station again to something soft and low. 

The four of them ride until the sun is high over their head, lunchtime already nearing as they pull into the parking lot of the beach. It’s overrun with other cars, parked close together and lining the edge of the sand. Bokuto follows the van to the edge of the lot, pulling into a spot across from them, where they all pile out into the heat of the summer. 

“Botan! Aya! Come put on sunscreen!” Akaashi calls, but the two have already run off into the sand, leaving the adults behind, Miyano following close after them. 

“It’s okay, I’ll get them,” Miyaki says as she waves to him, and Akaashi nods.

Ichika and her husband walk with Bokuto and him as they carry the chairs and towels from the car, following the rest of the group. 

Akaashi pauses at the edge of the sand for a moment, looking at it. He’s always hated the feeling of sand on his feet, the grain between his toes freaks him out. 

“You okay with the sand?” Bokuto asks, holding the cooler in his hands. Akaashi looks up at him and smiles. 

“Yeah, I got used to it in Greece, just always hesitant.” He kicks off his shoes, and picks up Bokuto’s, stepping into the sand.

“You’ve been to Greece?” Ichika speaks up, and Akaashi’s eyes widen. He looks back at her, his heart launching into his throat, stopping any words. He opens his mouth, trying to find an explanation when Bokuto saves him. 

“We like to travel,” he says, kicking a bit of sand. “We visited a couple years ago when we visited my mother in Italy, and then I was meeting investors there so we decided to make a little vacation of it.” 

Bokuto walks off before Ichika can respond, but she only looks with wide eyes between the two, her brows raised in question. Akaashi laughs lightly, awkwardly, putting his hand up to the back of his head. 

“Yeah, we travel a lot,” he mumbles. They start walking again, stumbling on the mounds of sand. 

“Does Bokuto pay for that?” Ichika eyes him as she asks and Akaashi’s ears burn in embarrassment, but he smiles regardless. 

“Yeah, he does, he pays for most things.” 

“So he has money, is that what you were hiding from all of us?” Akaashi swallows his heart and nods. He’s too afraid to look his sister in the eyes, but he knows the expression she’s making. The narrowed glare, exasperated by his stupidity.

“I was afraid you’d all judge him.”  

“You ill mannered child.”

“That’s uncalled for,” Akaashi says and turns to her but her stare stops him from saying any more. Ichika’s face softens just a bit and looks over to Bokuto, laying out the blanket for him and Akaashi. 

“He looks so down to earth, I would have never guessed,” She says and Akaashi follows her gaze, watching Bokuto fumble in the sand. He chuckles and smiles to himself. 

“He is, he really really is, he just doesn’t dress like that normally, he’s usually in a suit or nice button downs.” Akaashi hides his face again, looking away as he speaks.

“You really do have bad manners, Keiji.” 

Akaashi nods, he’s realized this as well, how he’s pushed others to meet his own expectations, how he’s hid Bokuto from his family, not trusted them. 

“Yeah, I’m realizing that.” 

“Well I’m glad you’ve told me now, and I take it that’s what Miyaki’s been trying to say?” Akaashi nods and Ichika raises her brows, unsurprised by the information. 

Ichika walks off to join her children, already building sandcastles by the shore, telling Akaashi to have more faith, and to try and have more fun than worry today. Akaashi only says he’ll try, letting her walk off as he joins Bokuto by their blanket.  

“Everything okay?” Bokuto asks, sitting back into the blanket and looking up at Akaashi. 

“Mmhm.” And Akaashi smiles. 

He tosses their shoes onto the sand next to the blanket and stumbles around to sit down next to Bokuto. He plops down and Bokuto scooches closer, leaning in to kiss his cheek. 

They sit for a while, applying sunscreen and bathing in the sun as the kids run around yelling. Akaashi watches them as they haul floaties and foam noodles around the beach, running in and out of the water as their parents chase them. Botan builds sand castles that could rival real ones, piling them high until they topple over, and cheering when they do. Aya runs with her sister as they play tag with their father and Akaashi’s own sisters drink under a large umbrella. The sun beats down on all of them with a burning touch, reddening their shoulders and cheeks as the day goes on. 

Bokuto pulls down his glasses to shade his eyes and Akaashi glances at him, and suddenly he notices the small crest logo on the edge of the frames. Akaashi throws his head back slightly, laughter bubbling out of him. 

“Koutarou, you wore your designers?” Akaashi says and giggles even more. Bokuto’s eyes cross as he looks at the frame on his face. 

“Of course, I only have these ones!” and that makes Akaashi laugh harder, laying back on the sand mounds behind them. “Keijiiii!” Bokuto whines and falls down next to him, wrapping his arms around him and nuzzling him, tickling his sides. 

Akaashi laughs and giggles until his chest hurts, Bokuto’s hands gracing up and down his naked sides, tickling his ribs until Akaashi can barely breathe. Akaashi pushes away at Bokuto’s hands, trying to break free, until finally Bokuto relinquishes him. Akaashi’s laughter fades slowly, as he leans into Bokuto, who watches him softly. He props himself up on his elbow and Bokuto mimics him. 

“You know Kou, I want to apologize— for making you be someone you’re not, and hiding yourself.” He reaches to brush a few strands that have fallen from Bokuto’s gelled hair, and Bokuto leans into his palm gently. Akaashi cups his cheeks. “I shouldn’t have done that, it was rude. I want everyone to know you, for all your parts.” 

“Thank you, Keiji. But I really didn’t mind. If it makes you happy, then I don’t mind at all,” Bokuto says, and Akaashi slowly drops his hand from Bokuto’s face. 

“It doesn’t make me happy, it shouldn’t have before, and I hate that I did that.” 

“Okay, but I really don’t mind dressing like this actually, I used to in college,” Bokuto looks down at himself, then back to Akaashi with a smile. 

“I know, I’ve seen the pictures.” 

“EhHe,” he hums, smiling and leaning in to press his forehead to Akaashi’s. 

Akaashi sneaks in a quick kiss that Bokuto then captures completely, bringing his hand up to his cheek to hold him there for a moment. 

A shadow comes across them, pulling them out of their confined bubble, and Akaashi pulls away from Bokuto quickly, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. His mother stands over them, and Akaashi puts his hand to shade his eyes. 

“Keiji, can we go for a walk?” his mother asks, and Akaashi’s heart drops, his body wracking with shaking nerves all over. 

“Yes, okay,” he whispers, and shifts to get up from the blanket. 

They walk down the beach, sea foam lapping at their toes. The silence bears down on their shoulders, making Akaashi tremble under it. He matches his mother’s stride, and keeps his eyes trained on his feet, leaving footprints in the sand.

“Mother if this is about—” 

“I just—” she cuts him off and Akaashi glances at her. “I just want to apologize, Keiji.” Akaashi stops walking. They’re a ways down the beach now, the only other sound the rushing of the waves. “I’ve somehow made you think that you can’t trust us, and I’m sorry for that. It was never my intention. I know I can be harsh, and I’ll try to be better, but please know I’ve only ever wanted to protect you.” 

Akaashi’s mother puts her hands on Akaashi’s shoulder, holding him there as he stares at her with wide eyes. He sucks in a deep breath. 

“I understand, thank you, mother.” It’s all he can manage, his shaky hands curling into fists at his sides.

“I know you’re an adult, and you can make your own decisions, but I’ll always worry about you.” Akaashi nods as she speaks. “I’ll always want to protect you, but I can try to be less harsh.” 

Akaashi’s heart settles into a steady rhythm, the tension sliding from his shoulders like water. He smiles and nods more assuredly. 

“Thank you,” he whispers. He leans down to his mother, wrapping her up in a hug that’s both apologetic and grateful. When he lets go, she smiles up at him and rubs his shoulders. 

“I can tell he loves you very much,” she says and Akaashi nods, thinking about the way Bokuto makes him feel, how warm his touch always is. “Are you in love with him?” It almost feels too late to be asking that, but Akaashi knows he’s never truly spoken to his mother about Bokuto, so the early questions have never been asked. 

“Yes, I love him more than anything. He’s my entire world.” 

She laughs, tossing her head back with a wide open smile, before letting him go. They start to walk back down the beach. 

“You sound like your father when we were young,” she says. “I think Bokuto is a wonderful choice for you, Keiji. He balances you in a way I’ve never seen, and he cares for you.” Akaashi’s heart swells, and he smiles at his mother’s approval. “He’s more than what I could have asked for in your partner.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Akaashi says, and he looks down the beach at Bokuto bathing in the sun with his glasses on. His mother puts her hand to his back and Akaashi looks at her. 

“You’ve made a wonderful life for yourself, Keiji, and I’m so very proud of you.” Her words finally get to Akaashi, as he stops walking and feels the tears well up in his eyes. “Oh Keiji, don’t cry,” she says and takes hold of his wrist, as he wipes away the tears. 

“I’m so sorry mom, for yelling and saying terrible things. I shouldn’t have.” 

“No, you shouldn’t have,” she says gently, and Akaashi laughs a little, sniffling as he looks at her through his tears. “You know better than to yell, and to stand across from someone when arguing.” 

Akaashi nods, remembering her golden rule: Never stand on the other side of a person when you argue, Keiji, stand on the same one, remember it’s you both against the problem, not against each other. 

“Yes, I’ve apparently forgotten my manners according to my sisters.” 

“And I’ll have to agree,” she takes his arm in hard as they start to walk again, “but that’s okay, I can drill them back into you! As long as you remember to call me once a month.” She elbows him a little and he laughs.

“I’ll do my best,” he says, and she nods.

They approach the family again, running about in the sand, and Akaashi’s father waves to them, saying he has food ready. His mother lets go of his arm, and offers him one last smile before returning to under the umbrella. 

Akaashi shuffles over to the blanket and Bokuto reaches out his hand for Akaashi to take as he sits down. 

“Everything okay?” He asks once again and this time Akaashi nods truthfully, smiling as he leans into Bokuto, wrapping him up in a hug. 

“Thank you, Kou, for coming here with me,” he leans out, looking at Bokuto who looks at him bewildered. “I’m so happy you got to meet my family.”

Bokuto just smiles at him, slipping away as Akaashi’s father approaches, handing them both some sandwiches. The kids eventually join them on their blanket, Bokuto helping them make sandcastles. They spend the day bathed in the sun, and Bokuto gets a bit of a sunburn. After, when the sky is suddenly deep with orange hues, they pile again into the cars and drive back towards home. 

That evening, Bokuto helps Akaashi’s mother with dinner, again making Soba with her specialty sauce. Akaashi sits at the island, watching and being scolded not to help, that this is his mother and Bokuto’s time. Akaashi laughs and agrees, but never leaves, watching them tease and bicker as they cook. When it’s done and they’ve eaten, Bokuto helps his father again with moving boxes, and the night lights are turned on and the fireflies begin to flicker. The family sits out on the porch one last time to watch and drink together. 

Bokuto is the only one missing, and when Akaashi goes to look for him, he finds him asleep on the couch, sitting up with his arms over the back of the couch, head lulled back. Akaashi takes a seat next to him, smiling and brushing away his fringe. 

“You are so precious to me,” he whispers and dips his head, leaning to cuddle up next to him. Bokuto’s arms instinctually pull him in, wrapping around his shoulders. Akaashi closes his eyes, conceding to resting for a bit there with him, the tiredness of the day already laying on them both. But before he does, as his limbs become so heavy, he’s aware of the flash and shutter sound of a camera, before the sound of footsteps pitter away.