Chapter Text
Sitting at your little study desk, you flipped through the most recent drawings in your sketchbook. Although you had used it sporadically due to overworking yourself, there were clear signs of improvement. Each ink smudged page offered a different correction, a better technique than the ones at the beginning of the book. Even if it was only slight, you couldn’t help but smile at your accomplishments.
“Wow, Darling! You’re really good at this!”
You jumped at the voice beside your ear. The interruption that broke through the peaceful silence of your room forced you violently away from your thoughts. You snapped your head toward the intruder as he chuckled at your reaction.
“YB! Stop sneaking up on me like that!” you exclaimed.
Your boyfriend, ever the careless sadist, continued to giggle at the way you responded. You could feel heat rising to your cheeks as he looked at you with such mirth.
“I’m sorry, Dear,” he laughed between words. “You were looking so intently at your work that I had to see what was so interesting.”
“Sure,” you replied with heavy sarcasm. “And was that before or after you crawled through my window?”
YB’s chortling stopped as he sent you a sly grin.
“That’s really neither here or there.”
You rolled your eyes at his unusual antics (if you could call them that) before pushing your chair out. You needed a little break from the artwork.
“Are you hungry?” you asked while heading toward the door. “Need anything to drink?”
“I’ll just have a glass of water, thank you.” All the deviousness from before was gone, replaced with a rather kind face. YB used to protest against receiving anything from you food-wise. It was mainly due to the limited funds you had and not wanting to take too much from you. But, because you could be just as insistent as him, he eventually gave in to your hospitality. You could also tell he liked that you were looking out for him as much as he did for you. Besides, following someone around all day was probably thirsty work (not that you’d know, personally).
The two of you walked out to the kitchen, chatting about each other’s day. You had one of those rare, coveted moments away from work. It may have meant less money in your pocket, but you were glad to get a break once in a while. YB had also recently finished wrapping up one of his projects. The product he was testing out was some kind of industrial flashlight meant to be used in emergency situations. Although it was quite sturdy and handled a lot of abuse, the battery died much earlier than was stated on the package. He theorized that it would be shown in infomercials once it was completed and ready to hit the market.
As you both stood around in the kitchen, YB made an obvious note of looking around expectantly.
“It’s much quieter today,” he stated, a hint of suspicion in his voice.
“Oh, yeah,” you caught on to his train of thought. “Lucy decided to go ‘study’ at her friend’s place.”
YB hummed as he took another long sip of his drink.
“So… we’re completely alone here?”
You quirked your eyebrow at him, trying to appear as natural as possible as you choked down your beverage.
“Yeah…”
“I’ve got an idea…” YB suggested, stretching out his words in a mischievous manner.
You sighed and rubbed at your eyes while he continued staring at you. There were only a few guesses as to what he had in mind.
“If the next words out of your mouth have nothing to do with me relaxing on my day off, then—”
“No! No! Nothing like that!” Despite stating this, you could see a glint in his eyes that said, ‘Unless you want it to go that far…~’ This was enough for you to shoot him a hard glare.
“I was wondering if you’d draw me,” he replied simply.
“Draw you?” You were taken aback. Sure, he’d asked for weirder things from you before, but this was still enough to make you hesitate.
He nodded, looking at you expectantly. He almost took on the appearance of a dog, silently hoping their owner would finally take them out for a walk. Or even a child trying to be patient while waiting for their parents to find time to play with them.
“I don’t know…” you answered reluctantly. “I mean, there are things I can draw, but doing models and still-life portraits are a bit tricky for me.”
The thought of your earlier attempts at sketching a bowl of fruit came to mind, filling you with dread. There were certain aspects you could master easily, but drawing from sight alone wasn’t your strong suit. Even recent tries at drawing your classmates or animals looked rough.
“I’m sure that however you do it, it will be wonderful!” he coaxed you on.
“You have way too much faith in me.”
“No, Darling. You’re just overly critical of yourself.”
“I guess…”
YB stared at you with his dark blue eyes, looking as though he was praying an opportunity like this would come. For all you knew, he probably did look forward to something like this. There was no doubt that he’d gone through your previous sketches and doodles before approaching you. Just knowing you had any artistic talent was a huge plus in his mind. If anything, you imagined YB probably wanted to become one of your art pieces; something semi-permanent as proof that he was there in your life.
“All right, fine,” you tell him with a sigh. “But if it turns out looking like shit, don’t be disappointed.”
“I promise, anything you draw of me would be an improvement on the real thing.”
“And now you’re just giving me an opportunity to do something weird to your portrait.”
“I’ll still love it regardless.”
There really was no winning with him.
After setting up your room to let the natural light come through, you prepared to settle in for a lengthy session. YB decided he’d rather lay on your bed while you worked. It was definitely more comfortable than standing or trying to sit straight for an hour or longer. However, the pose he went with was much less conventional.
Laying on his side, YB propped his head on one hand while the other rested atop a bent knee. He gave you a suggestive look as you took in his form. You swore if there were any roses around, he’d have one secured between his lips.
“Draw me like one of your French girls, Y/N~”
“Okay, first off, you’re going to have to choose a different pose. Secondly, you’re keeping your clothes on.”
With a chuckle, he shifted into a slightly more relaxed position. He kept his face in his hand but allowed his other arm to rest lazily upon the surface of the bed. His body was halfway twisted to where you had a good view of his torso while his lower section laid against the mattress. It was a rather cute pose, one that reminded you of the times you awoke to him staring at you as you slept.
“Are you sure that’s the one you want to go with?” you asked in confirmation. “This stuff takes much longer than it does in the movies.”
“I’m sure.”
With that, you nodded in agreement, pulling your book up to begin your first etchings.
It was a bit unnerving having to constantly glance up at him to get his picture right. YB, much as he always did, stared at you intently the entire time. Normally, the models in your class would find an object or area of the room to focus on while being drawn. It helped to settle their movements and concentrate on something other than being motionless for an extended period. As usual, the only thing YB wanted to look at was you. He seemed to be fixated on you just as you were with him.
About twenty minutes passed before you completed a rough sketch of him. He was quite good at remaining still for you despite the possible discomfort. You supposed it had something to do with his constant stalking throughout the time he’d known you. He showed you once how he used to watch you. Most of YB’s tactics involved him ducking into alleyways or kneeling by your window until his legs went numb. At least now he didn’t have to be so secretive (most of the time).
You began filling in the finer details, hardly needing to glance at him as much. You knew his usual attire by heart and could’ve easily drawn it out from memory. The real challenge was getting the creases and shading on his clothes just right.
The more you added to his portrait, however, the more you began to notice certain imperfections. His facial features were off, the bottom edge of his hoodie was too short, this wrinkle in his shirt wasn’t as pronounced, the shadows didn’t fall correctly, his—
“Darling? Is everything all right?”
You jerked and immediately looked up at YB. Although his expression was neutral, his brows were furrowed in concern.
“Y-Yeah. Why do you ask?”
“You keep making a face like something’s wrong.”
You looked down at your drawing, feeling your dread become much heavier. This portrait was a disaster. It hardly looked like your boyfriend but some bastardization of him. The good qualities he possessed were drowned out by all the errors you made. Even if it wasn’t the worst you could do, you wished you could’ve represented his image better.
This really was a bad idea. You knew it but was led along by that endearing smile of his.
Knowing you couldn’t hide your true feelings for long, you stood up and gave YB your sketchbook. He sat up and gingerly took it from you as he did with anything you handed him. Not wanting to see him cringe at your terrible attempt, you looked away in shame. You hadn’t avoided eye contact like this since your parents nagged about your plans for the future. Even your landlord’s complaints about Lucy were more tolerable than this.
“This is…”
“I know,” you interrupted. “I told you it would look like total crap.”
“No, this is really good.”
Surprised, you hesitantly turned back to him, half-heartedly wondering if he was joking. You were prepared to counter his obviously false statement when you noticed his expression. YB stared at the drawing, his eyes wide and shining with interest. A blush spread across his cheeks as he studied every pencil stroke and smudged mark you made across the page. Seeing such an honest and attentive face, you could do nothing more than fall silent.
YB looked up at you, his cheeks turning just a bit redder.
“So… this is what you see when you look at me?”
You choked as you tried to find the right words to speak. Your tongue kept changing the pattern of terms you wished to say, turning you in to a stuttering, bumbling mess.
How the hell were you supposed to react to that? You made something that would give you a C at most in your art class, but YB was looking at it as though it were the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
“Umm, more or less?” you finally spat out. “Not exactly like that because it’s a drawing, but, you know…”
What made this especially difficult was how shyly YB was acting. He was so confident and sure of himself moments ago. How he was able to switch from being super secure to taking on the form of a bashful high schooler was simply amazing. It almost gave you whiplash whenever his attitude changed like that.
“You… You really think it’s good?” you asked nervously, peering over his side to review your work again. It still looked off in ways your professor would chastise you for. You could almost hear them questioning why you took their class in the first place.
“Of course!” he exclaimed with such joy in his voice. “I told you I’d like whatever you draw. I just didn’t think I’d fit with your art style. I’m glad I didn’t taint your book with my shameful appearance.”
“Hey, now,” you say while leaning against him. You didn’t like it when he downed himself like that. As much as you were guilty of it, you’d grown to accept certain flaws you used to agonize over. It also helped that your boyfriend adored you even on your worst days. How many times had he given you a pep talk or helped you see beauty in things you thought were unfixable?
“I don’t think you’re bad looking at all, YB. In fact…” You blushed this time, thinking of the words you wanted to use. “I think you’re really adorable. Cute even.”
It was silent for a moment. You hoped he’d heard you. You prayed he wouldn’t be cruel enough to make you repeat such embarrassing things. It was bad enough when you tried to express your feelings toward him. You weren’t sure if you could handle him teasing you while forcing you to look him in the eye the whole time.
It was still quiet when you realized someone should’ve said something by now. He was probably staring at you with that huge cheeky grin of his. The one he used whenever he was right about something or wanted to get a certain answer out of you. Now would be a perfect time for him to look at you like that since complimenting his appearance was much rarer for him.
Cautiously, you turned to look at him, preparing to see a smug expression. Instead, you were presented with a face as red as a tomato. YB’s mouth was opened slightly as though he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. His eyes were just as wide as before, those beautiful blue orbs dilated in to tiny black specks. There was even a bit of sweat protruding from his skin as though his own body couldn’t believe what it was hearing.
As the silence lingered, YB seemed to realize how long he’d been staring. He averted his gaze, clearing his throat while rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
“I never know what to say when you tell me things like that,” he whispered bashfully. “I feel those words are more fitting for you than me.”
Not sure what to do to comfort him, you placed a hand on his arm and rubbed soothing circles on it. It was hard to tell someone in denial that they weren’t as ugly as they made themselves out to be. All you knew to do was be a source of comfort for him. It wasn’t fair for you to receive all the praises while he held onto nothing.
Looking back at the rough portrait, you still couldn’t help being unsatisfied with it. There was no way you were going to see it in a fond light. Yes, it was at least halfway decent, but it would still need a lot of work before you could be content with it. It would be better just to start over from scratch.
“Keep it,” you uttered.
At your sudden break in silence, YB peered over at you.
“What?” His tone was curious, wondering if he’d heard you correctly.
“You can have my drawing, if you want it,” you replied with a small smile. “I’m not really happy with it, so I’d rather it go to someone who will actually appreciate it.”
“Really? You don’t mind?”
You shook your head, amused by his sincerity. If it weren’t for his personality, you’d almost be fooled into thinking he was more innocent than he let on. YB was certainly a strange one.
Being careful to pull the page out of your book, you checked it over for any creases before handing it to him. Once more, YB held the drawing delicately as if it were made of the finest silk. A smile graced his features, his gaze focused on the thing his lover made just for him. It was nice to see him with a look of such admiration after receiving a simple gift.
“Thank you, Y/N. I’ll always cherish it.”
“I know you will.”
You closed your book, glad to end the day with this final sketch. It might not have been the best thing you ever created, but it made your boyfriend happy. It was normal for him to do everything he could just to see you smile or hear you laugh. He deserved to know what it felt like to be the recipient of such efforts.