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It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
When you first came to RAD it was clear this wouldn’t be any sort of normal educational experience. Sure, you were aware it was an exchange program, but at the time you applied you had no idea it was across realms.
Did they really expect you to read the details? Were they really so out of touch? You could very well count on one hand the number of aspiring students who would ever read so much as the first page they need to fill out before skipping through the fields to write in their information and flip to the next application.
After all, why get your heart set on something if it wasn’t a guarantee? Once accepted, you could take time in learning about what program you’d be joining.
Or at least… that had been the plan until suddenly your room turned sideways and you found yourself falling through the walls, landing before a row of sinisterly attractive men in uniform.
Yeah.
Maybe next time you’d read more thoroughly.
That is… if there’d be a next time.
Whenever you gazed up into his cold scarlet eyes, it was hard to imagine you’d make it out of this program alive.
Lucifer was so direct and dismissive, it was clear he didn’t care if you thrived or died. Sure, he may have assigned one of his brothers to look after you, but that same brother was often strung up from the ceiling so how well did he really trust him?
Was this exchange program really a means to bring about peace throughout the Three Realms? Or was it just a game to see how long a human with no magic could last?
In the first few weeks it was easy to see just how dysfunctional these brothers could be. Weren’t you supposed to be learning from them? Why did it always seem like you had to help them solve such basic problems?
Were demons truly so inept at understanding basic things like compassion and-
Actually on second thought it made perfect sense why they were so chaotic and combative.
What was more surprising was how they began to change around you, little by little. First it was Mammon through the pact. At first he was so displeased but he warmed up to you quickly when he realized you had no intention of abusing your newfound power.
Then Levi and Asmo began to warm up to you.
Satan and Beel.
And… Lucifer…
As much as you hated to admit it, his first impressions began to make more sense the more you got to know him and his family. He was harsh, but protective. Cruel, but fair. The punishments may seem extreme or absurd, but they weren’t given without reason. He even began to value your input, easing up on Mammon when you defended him or looking the other way when you promised to help make it right.
It was strange to… want him to trust you.
When did it start to feel so different? Seeing him in the halls used to make you so tense and nervous, and you’d find yourself cowering near the walls just for the sake of avoiding being in his way. But now it was almost as if you wished he’d notice you, maybe stop a moment to talk a little more than about work and studies.
His brothers often made jokes at his expense, but it was clear there was something more there too. A lingering sense of love among them, even if none of them remembered what love meant.
The first time you tried to get his attention was a disaster. He was carrying a stack of boxes filled with folders to deliver to Diavolo and you’d offered to help. After some back and forth he relented, but the box was heavier than you’d expected and just as it left his grasp, it tumbled onto the floor scattering papers everywhere. Caught between embarrassment at the mess and his displeasure, you tried to offer to clean it up but he just sighed and set the boxes down, muttering that he’d take care of it himself.
You would’ve insisted, but Mammon whisked you away, laughing that Lucifer would be able to handle it on his own.
On his own…
The next time you tried baking. Barbatos was amazing in the kitchen, surely he could teach you something? It’d never been your greatest skill, using the toaster was about as far as you trusted yourself in the kitchen but making cookies didn’t seem that hard. Children did it with their parents all the time.
Though… parents usually set timers and remember to check the oven. Lucifer did not appreciate the fire in the kitchen.
So now here you were, laying on your bed and staring up at the ceiling, acutely aware of the late hour knowing that Lucifer was in his office working harder than ever, his schedule pushed back due to your mistake.
You rolled over onto your side with a sigh. Why was it so hard to get closer to him? To understand him? To just… want to be near him?
Surely there had to be something you could do, right?
He’d told you to not leave your room for the remainder of the evening, but you’d be damned if you let some demon boss you around.
You rolled out of bed and snuck into the kitchen, using the light of your D.D.D. to find the Hell Coffee. You’d read somewhere that its bitterness conveyed the feelings of the brewer to the one who drank it, so perhaps a late night coffee to help him focus could also help you in a way?
Carefully you brewed the cup, trying to make as little noise as possible so Beel wouldn’t come snooping hoping for a snack of his own. A faint scent of coffee filled the air, though it was more acidic than what you were used to back home.
You tucked your D.D.D. in your pocket and held the mug in both hands. Keeping your footsteps on the rug, you made your way over to his office and gently knocked on the door.
“Come in.”
You opened the door to find him scowling over one of the papers, the fireplace burning bright and illuminating his figure. Warmth radiated from him despite his expression, flickers of firelight playing in his eyes.
He looked up, scowl deepening when he saw it was you.
“What’re you doing here? I told you to stay in bed.”
“I…” your voice faltered and you clutched the mug tight, the heat of the ceramic giving you something to anchor too. “I just thought maybe you’d like a break…”
He sighed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the desk with his head in his hands.
“I think fighting the fire earlier was enough of a break for me. I have too much to do right now, so if you need something go wake one of the others for it.”
“No, but I—“ you faltered a little, unsure what to say in his presence.
The coffee.
Let the coffee talk for you.
Before you could lose your nerve, you walked across the room and motioned to set the cup down where he’d see it.
“I made you some—“ in your haste, the cup was set at an angle and toppled over, spilling hot Hell coffee across his desk and into his lap.
“What-!” he lifted his head, eyes blazing, “What do you think you’re doing?!”
“S-Sorry, I- oh shit I—“ Stupidly your first instinct was to try to mop up the coffee with your hands, but it only smeared the soaked pages around and spilled more coffee on the floor.
“You…” The leather of his gloves made the clenching of his fists all the more pointed, and it was clear he was making every effort to remain seated so as to not harm you.
“You incompetent little—“ he breathed out and sat back, eyes blazing anew, “How many times must you interfere with me?”
“I wasn’t trying to—“
“Save it.” He said, glaring at you with thinly veiled disgust. “It’s not enough I’ve had to tolerate your presence for this long, but I will not stand for you making a mockery of RAD or the council.”
“I’m not—“
“Get. Out!” He snapped, the force of his words accentuated by his demonic aura seething like a frigid wave of hate, snuffing out the fire and leaving you two in darkness save only for his scarlet eyes glaring straight into your soul.
“I’m… I’m…”
“OUT!”
Your legs shook and you retreated, unable to break his gaze until you were out into the hall, another pulse of his aura slamming the door shut in your face.
That was…
That was…
Your knees gave and you fell to the floor, tears stinging in your eyes.
That wasn’t how it was supposed to go at all.
“I’m so sorry,” you said quietly, “Lucifer.”
You should’ve stayed in your room.
This demon had no place for you.
It was clear now the only way you could show you cared was to make yourself as scarce as possible. Get out, like he said. So you’d do just that.
Meals were easy, he rarely had time to join everyone for breakfast and dinners were inconsistent. You ate quickly or would make excuses about needing to study in your room so you could take a plate with you.
Any time you saw him in the halls at RAD, you turned on your heel and found another way to get to class.
Get out.
The tightness in your throat would always return whenever you saw just a glimpse of his face, remembering that expression, that fury.
He must hate you so much, to get so angry.
You managed to keep this up for a few weeks before Asmo began questioning the changes in your behavior. Whether it was for gossip or because he could sense something more, you kept your answers short and sweet.
Just felt a little tired.
Thought maybe exploring RAD more would be good for me.
Wasn’t actually all that hungry today, thanks for checking on me.
Eventually though, he must’ve become fed up with all your excuses because he caught you in the hallway on the way to Potions.
“Hey,” he said, taking your arm and pulling you aside, “Something’s not right with you, I can feel it.”
“It’s nothing, Asmo I just—“
“Feel tired again?” he said, annoyance creeping into his voice. Then he sighed and let go of your arm, “Look, you don’t have to tell me what’s going on, as much as I would love to know, but you have to work through this. Lucifer’s worried about you.”
The sound of his name brought the tears to your eyes again, and you blinked quickly, avoiding Asmo’s gaze.
“No he’s not.”
“Yes he is. We all are.” He insisted, cupping your chin and drawing your attention up to him, “You’ve been acting strangely lately, almost like you’re afraid again.”
The tears welled up and you swallowed, willing yourself not to cry.
“Are you… afraid of us again?” he asked softly.
“N… No…”
He let go of your chin with a sigh, “Even without those tears, I don’t believe you, but maybe…” He took out a small parcel from his inner coat pocket, “Maybe it’d be good to talk to Diavolo today? I was supposed to give this to him, but I have better things to do.” He chuckled and handed it to you with a wink, “Would you be a dear and bring it to him for me?”
“I- but I have class, I can’t—“
“Thanks, hon!” he waved, already walking down the hall. “Don’t worry I’ll tell your professors you’re doing me a favor~!”
“But…”
He blew you a kiss and disappeared around the corner, leaving you feeling all emotional and confused.
You looked down at the parcel, a small rectangular box wrapped in black paper. It looked like some sort of gift? But why wouldn’t Asmo just give it to Diavolo himself?
Still…
You reached up and wiped your eyes on your sleeve.
If it was an excuse to avoid being around your peers feeling like this, you may as well take it.
The walk to the young Demon Lord’s castle was enough to give you time to clear your head. Sure, some part of you knew you were being childish now, but how else could you avoid getting in his way?
You walked up the steps and looked up, confused to see the grand doors still closed.
Shouldn’t Barbatos be here…?
You knocked, but there was no answer. The door creaked open, and you pushed it gently to peer inside.
“Hello?”
No response.
You pushed the door open further and looked around, but the grand hall was completely dark.
“Hello?” you called again to no answer.
This was weird.
You walked inside, clutching the box to your chest and looking around. “Diavolo? Are you… in here somewhere?”
Could he still be at RAD? Maybe Asmo couldn’t find him so he just gave the box to you, or-
“SURPRISE!”
Devilish crystals and firelight flashed to life, illuminating the room as demons jumped out in delight.
Startled, you fumbled with the box and stumbled back your racing heart only just avoiding leaping from your chest when you recognized who they were.
“Aw, WTF what’s the human doing here?” Levi groaned, “Now we need to set up again before he shows up.”
“He?” you blinked, still taking in your surroundings and seeing a banner hung high
“Happy birth… oh no…”
You shouldn’t be here, you might ruin his birthday too.
“Yeah, didn’t you get my message?” Mammon said, looking at you with his hands up in the air, “You were s’posed to come in through the back so we could surprise Lucifer.”
Yeah.
You’d already messed it up.
So if you could leave now maybe they could set up again and-
“Surprise me? With what, exactly?”
Your heart stopped at the sound of his voice, shoulders tense and back stiff.
Too late.
“Well so much for a surprise,” Levi muttered, then put on a smile, “but uh, happy birthday, Lucifer!”
“Yeah!” Mammon chimed in, “We worked real hard to clear your schedule for the rest of the day so you could kick back and relax.”
“We? Why are you saying ‘we’?” Satan scoffed, “You were hardly any help at all.”
“Oi! I did help too! Didn’t I, Levi? Remember?”
“Nope sorry my mind’s gone blank. Can’t think of anything you did to contribute at all.”
Their shenanigans brought a faint smile to your face, but when a hand touched your shoulder you felt cold once more.
“And did you have anything to do with this?” Lucifer asked you, his tone smooth and low.
“N…No I just…”
“They brought you a gift!” Asmo said, walking in through the open door behind you. “It’s such a lovely gift too, I helped them pick it out!”
“Really? May I see it?”
You looked over your shoulder at Asmo, who only smiled and motioned for you to give it to him.
“Yeah… here…”
Please don’t let it be a terrible gift.
“Thank you.” He took it carefully and tore through the paper to reveal a slender white box. Inside was an elegant fountain pen with your name inscribed in the black marbled casing, inlaid with gold.
“This… this is…” he murmured, running his thumb over the lettering.
Your heart began to race again and you fought the urge to glare at Asmo. Why- Why did he put your name on it?!
“What is it? Can I see?” Mammon asked, and Lucifer clutched the pen in his fist.
“No, you cannot.”
“Aw c’mon I just wanna have a look—“
Lucifer looked down at you, tucking the pen into his breast pocket and speaking quieter. “May I have a word with you?”
“It wasn’t my idea, I don’t know about the party or—“
He shushed you, then glanced at Barbatos. “You can start celebrating without me, but do you mind if I borrow the kitchen for a moment?”
“Not at all.”
Oh great, what now? Another lecture?
Lucifer put a hand on the small of your back, leading you to the kitchen without room for any protest, leaving the sounds of Mammon’s complaints and Levi panicking over Beel eating all the cake to disappear behind you.
When the two of you were alone, he walked away from your side and busied himself with searching through the pantry.
He wasn’t saying anything, just… looking for something.
You rubbed your arm, watching him.
He found what he wanted, a bag of Hell Coffee beans, and turned his back to you to start preparing himself a cup.
“Um, Lucifer?”
Still he said nothing, grinding the beans and tamping them down in the filtered cup before setting it into the machine to brew.
The acidic scent of coffee wafted into the air as the darkened caramel liquid filled the mug, and you tried again.
“I’m… I’m sorry I keep getting in the way. I wasn’t trying to, I just wanted to help… you with…”
Something.
Anything.
You looked down at the floor, your vision beginning to blur.
His footsteps approached, the scent of coffee growing stronger. Surely now he’d tell you again to stop causing him so much trouble.
“Would you like a drink?” he asked instead, lowering the mug into your field of vision.
“What…?” you lifted your head, looking up into his eyes and…
His smile…
It was…
So warm.
“You look tired,” he said quietly, “Drink. It’ll make you feel better.”
“Okay.” You took the cup carefully, holding it with both hands and taking a sip. “Agh—“ you gagged immediately and he laughed, bitterness coating your tongue.
“It’s rather bitter, isn’t it?”
“Ugh, yes.” You lowered the cup and glanced to the side, staring at the stovetop. The bitterness did wake you up a little, in a way.
“You remember Hell Coffee, right?” he asked, the gentleness in his voice drawing your attention to him again. “Why it tastes bitter when prepared by someone else?”
You did, but you didn’t want to believe it.
“Isn’t it always sort of bitter?”
“Mm…” He crossed his arms loosely, “I can’t say I know for sure, usually only those close to me ever brew me a cup so there’s always a bitterness to it.”
Right…
“But,” He reached out to lean on the door above you, his scarlet eyes capturing your vision with their warm, tender glow, “there’s a reason my coffee is bitter to you.”
“Luci…” his name died on your tongue, and his expression fell with it.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I didn’t want to get in the way.”
His expression soured further, frustrated. Then he closed his eyes and sighed, bowing his head.
“My anger was misplaced,” he said quietly, “I shouldn’t have let you see me in that way, or let you be the target.”
Tears pricked at your eyes again. Such stupid tears.
“I just wanted to help you.”
“I know,” he said, looking up at you again and holding your cheek with his free hand, “I know…”
“Lucifer, I think I…”
“I know,” he repeated, caressing your cheek with his thumb and leaning in closer.
“I do too.”
“Do… too?” you repeated, your heart starting to feel like it wanted to leap out of your chest. His lips were so close, and his warmth was too much.
Those lips curved into a subtle smile, “Despite your best efforts, I was still able to enjoy a small bit of coffee after you left me.”
The memory brought a new wave of embarrassment, but his lips sent heat sizzling in a rapid shiver down your back as they brushed against your cheek.
“You didn’t purchase the gift for me, did you?”
“N-No… Asmo gave it to me…”
You felt him smile against your skin, lingering.
“You still owe me a gift, then. May I call you mine?”
He wanted you to be…?
“But I keep messing things up for you, and I ruined your party…”
He chuckled and leaned back, gazing into your eyes.
“You’re underestimating me if you think that would deter me.” He tipped your chin up, his warm eyes as captivating as ever, “Have you forgotten who my brothers are?”
You blushed and shook your head once.
“I didn’t think so,” he mused, closing his eyes with a smile. “So then, for my present this year, will you give me you? I promise to cherish you as long as I have you.”
Your knees felt weak and you leaned back against the door, your breath catching in your throat.
“You… want me?”
“Undeniably,” He said, opening his eyes and gazing down at you, “It seems fitting, doesn’t it? You’ve come to my party without a gift, so the only thing you could offer is yourself.” He smirked, “You can decline of course, but nothing would make me happier than to know you belong to me and only me.”
You were at a loss for words, gazing up at him while he enjoyed your speechless state.
“Well then,” he stepped back and held his arm out to you, “shall we return to the party? Maybe you’d like some time to consider your gift to me?”
Your legs felt shaky again, and you took his arm, leaning more into him than you’d meant, but he simply smiled and held you close.
“Think on it for me, would you?” he murmured, “I can’t think of anything that would make me happier.”
“Even if I spill coffee and set the kitchen on fire?”
He sighed a tired laugh and shook his head, “Well, I’d prefer if you didn’t do those things, but I can forgive mistakes when the intent is there.”
You stared up at him, perplexed. Lucifer? Forgiveness?
He glanced away, his own cheeks turning rosy.
“I think it’s fair, if you can understand my intent as well.”
There it was.
That small sense of vulnerability that cut through his cold exterior. That little spark that made you see there was more behind the facade he crafted so carefully.
“I want to,” you said, hugging his arm and gazing up at him in earnest, “I want to understand you.”
He leaned in to kiss your forehead, speaking just above a whisper.
“I’ll do my best to give you the opportunity.”
You closed your eyes, unable to resist the smile as a few happy tears spilled down your cheeks.
“Thank you,” you whispered.
Now might not be the right time to say it, but some day.
“Should we go to the party now?”
He sighed and straightened, “Yes, I imagine they’re already giving Diavolo quite a lot to deal with.”
You laughed, “Oh I don’t know, I think he likes it.”
“I’m not so sure I like it.” He muttered and you squeezed his arm, drawing his attention to you again.
“They care about you, Lucifer. Just remember that.”
He sighed, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair in thought.
“Sometimes that’s easier said than done, but…” he gazed at you through the corner of his eye, “It’s nice to have you say it for me.”