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They always feel so in tune with each other.
Shepard thinks it often.
He thinks it when he opens his mouth to say "Kai..." and Kaidan says, "I've got it," and the gun shots behind him stop.
He thinks it when Kaidan says, "Shep," and Shepard knows how many, and which direction, from the tone and strength of his voice.
He thinks it when Kaidan uses Warp and Shepard Throws. Then Shepard Warps and Kaidan Throws. Biotic explosion by biotic explosion destroying anything that gets in their way.
Liara says they're amazing to watch. That it's like they're reading each other's thoughts. They aren't. They just work. It's hard to explain.
Shepard lets Kaidan into his room, but he comes in just enough to let the door slide shut behind him."Shepard, I..." he starts but then stops, like he isn't sure what to say.
Shepard does. He steps forward so only centimeters separate them. "I'm glad you came Kaidan." Shepard reaches out and trails his hand up Kaidan's arm, to rest his hand on the side of Kaidan's neck. Kaidan closes his eyes and lets out a relieved sigh, leaning almost imperceptibly into the touch.
"Do you think it's bad that we're living every day like it might be our last?" Kaidan asks in a whisper, eyes still closed. Shepard plays idlely with Kaidan's shower damped hair.
"What else can we do?" He whispers back and Kaidan huffs a laugh. The sound is so familiar, not because Shepard has heard it a million times, but because Shepard loves the sound so much he made sure he would never forget it.
"I can't lose you," Kaidan says, his pained voice making something clench in Shepard's chest.
"You have me now," he says, then closes his eyes and leans in to let their lips touch.
Kaidan places his hands on Shepard's hips, sliding his thumbs under Shepard's shirt. It's a spot Kaidan loves on his body, Shepard knows because Kaidan can't seem to help touching or kissing him there.
They open up to each other and let their tongues meet. Shepard angles his head so they can make the kiss deeper, tongues sliding together, and Kaidan lets out a soft moan. Shepard will never get tired of the way Kaidan tastes.
Kaidan catches Shepard's lip softly with his teeth and Shepard knows that that signals the end of this kiss. Kaidan probably doesn't even know he does that.
He lets out another breath and tells Shepard, "I love you."
"I know," Shepard always answers.
Shepard thinks about it when Kaidan's warm back is against his.
He thinks it when he steps left and he knows Kaidan moves with him, always protecting him. It's like they are dancing. A dance Shepard knows and does better than anyone else. It doesn't matter if the enemy is everywhere when your back is covered by your greatest ally.
It's like they were always meant to be this. Like Kaidan was the missing part of himself. They move together like one person.
Just like they did the night before.
They feel so in tune with each other even now. He knows this because he feels like he is dying.
He's never said it; he's not really good at that sort of thing. And right now he doesn't want anything more than to be able say those three words to Kaidan.
Shepard leans down and touches their foreheads together as if he could will Kaidan better with the power of his thoughts. "I love you," Shepard says for the first time. He feels a salt water drop leave the tip of his nose. He kisses the tear off of the tip of Kaidan's, where it landed.
Shepard hurts because he wants Kaidan to hear those words now that he finally got the guts to say them. His face is damp because he thinks Kaidan may never hear them and even if he does, he missed the first.
But Kaidan does get better and the first thing he tells Shepard is-
"I know."