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Chapter Text

Kahlan couldn’t stop thinking about Aydindril and this new High Lord Regent since they found the two bodies hanged in the woods with a sign bearing her seal. She often thought about the white city, it wasn’t anything new, but she had always believed her home would be safe until she could finish Richard’s quest. She guessed she was wrong. They were now looking for any traces that could lead them to whoever killed those men but she had to agree with Cara, after so long, it was pretty much a waste of time.

Then, a body appeared in front of them and when Kahlan recognized Silas, everything changed. Since Cara couldn’t use the breath of life on him, they were once again left with more questions than answers. The only thing Kahlan knew for certain was that, if the wizard of the Second Order had used the Olderan’s amulet, it meant something wrong was happening in Aydindril. “I have to get to Aydindril.”

“That’s hundreds of leagues from here.” Cara pointed out.

“Zedd, can you use the amulet to get us there?” Richard looked at his grandfather expectantly.

Kahlan sighed; she knew the blonde was right but she didn’t have a choice. “It doesn’t have to be all of us, maybe we could split.”

“Its magic is only strong enough to transport a wizard and a Confessor,” Zedd answered his grandson.

“Alright then,” Kahlan turned to Richard. They both had their obligations and she was once again faced with the fact that their titles would tear them apart eventually. She had tried to ignore it for so long, like she had been ignoring a lot of things for the sake of their quest but she could tell it wouldn’t last much longer. “Continue with Cara and we’ll meet you once I fix the situation in Aydindril.”

“We can meet you there,” Richard stated, not wanting to be separated for too long.

“No,” Kahlan shook her head. “You should focus on your quest.” She appreciated his support but Aydindril, her city, needed the Mother Confessor, not the Seeker.

“Kahlan is right,” Zedd declared. “It could take weeks, every day the quest is delayed, the Keeper grows stronger. You and Cara continue the search for the stone of tears while Kahlan and I go to Aydindril.”

“Are you sure?” Richard took Kahlan’s hand in his.

Kahlan felt bad for leaving them behind but she had thought about going back for a while now. She had been too afraid to voice it aloud so far, worried her friends would get hurt while she was absent handling politics. The pull between her sense of responsibility, toward her companions and her duties was getting harder to handle. “I should have gotten back to Aydindril sooner but the quest felt important, is important.” It wasn’t just for Richard, it was for the prophecy and how they needed to save the world because if the Keeper were to win, there would be no Aydindril to go back to. She took comfort in the fact that, at least now, Richard had Cara and the Mord’Sith could protect him while she and Zedd were away. Even though Kahlan had barely started taking tentative steps towards friendship with the woman, she could tell Cara cared about Richard. “I’ll be back before you know it.” She smiled reassuringly, squeezing Richard’s hand before letting go and moving next to Zedd. She rested her hand on the amulet and then quickly glanced at Cara. “Behave.” She said as a way of parting, hoping Cara would understand everything she meant by that. The last thing Kahlan saw as Zedd finished chanting was Cara raising an eyebrow at her with a smirk.

When Kahlan arrived in Aydrindril, she instantly felt something was amiss. She opened her mouth to tell Zedd as much but the world started spinning and then, everything went black.

Kahlan woke up in a house she didn’t recognize. She blinked a few times and tried to remember how she got here. She stood up and looked out the window, sighing in relief when she recognized the streets of her city. “It’s good to be home…” Her mind was foggy but she could piece together a few memories. She was on her way to the Confessor’s palace after Darken Rahl had ordered Mother Serena’s death. She frowned; she couldn’t remember Serena dying but she recalled the other Confessors naming her the new Mother Confessor. That was strange…

“Ah, Kahlan! I’m glad to see you awake!” A man exclaimed. “Alferon was telling me…”

Kahlan turned around and saw a tall man with long white hair and a ginger robe. “Who are you?”

“I’ll make sure no guard followed us.” Another man with a black robe said before leaving.

Kahlan thought the man in black looked familiar, then she remembered he was a wizard of the Second Order, someone she had met a few times before. What was going on with her mind, why was everything so fuzzy?

Zedd frowned, taking a step closer. “Kahlan, it’s me, Zedd.”

“I’m sorry,” Kahlan took a step backward, not wanting this stranger to come closer until she knew what was going on. “Do we know each other?”

“I…” Zedd’s frown deepened as he stared at her. “I’m your old friend, Zeddicus Zu’l Zolander.”

“The wizard of the First Order?” Kahlan raised an eyebrow. She had heard of him, his reputation proceeding him, but she was sure she had never met him before so she didn’t know how they could be friends.

“Yes.” Zedd gave her a hopeful smile.

“Why are you here?” Kahlan looked around the room. She had no memories of stopping at this place to rest. “Why am I here?”

“Can’t you remember?” Zedd paused to study here and when he realized she was serious, he explained. “Prince Fyren is the new self-proclaimed leader of Aydindril, that’s why we’re here, Kahlan. We teleported here by using the…”

“I’m sorry,” Kahlan interrupted him, slightly irritated by the familiarity he was showing her. “But I’ve never met you before and I came here to save Aydindril from Darken Rahl and put an end to the war.”

“The war is over and Darken Rahl is dead,” Zedd’s frown came back, this time in concern. “Are you well, my child?”

“He is?!” Kahlan exclaimed in disbelief. How long had she been out? “I can’t remember… You said we’re friends, how long have we known each other?” Nothing made sense, she needed the wizard to tell her more.

“Almost two years but…” Zedd trailed off then sighed. “I thought the journey had simply exhausted you but this is more serious than I thought.”

“It’s impossible…” Kahlan stared at him suspiciously. She couldn’t detect any sign of lies but it didn’t mean the man was innocent. It wasn’t possible to just forget two years of your life unless… In a flash, she was standing in front of Zedd, wrapping her hand around his neck. “Did you curse me, wizard?” She barked.

Zedd’s eyes went wide in surprise. “Of course not, you are like a granddaughter to me, I would never hurt you. I’m sure there is an explanation!” He tried to reach in his pocket but Kahlan tightened her grip.

“I can tell you’re telling the truth so maybe it was prince Fyren...” Kahlan could find out later, right now, she needed the wizard to share everything he knew. “Tell me everything you know and you better not lie to the Mother Confessor.”

Zedd raised his hands in surrender, trying to show that he wasn’t a threat. “Richard…”

“Who’s Richard?” Kahlan cut him off.

“The Seeker?” Zedd explained but it sounded like a question.

“Ah yes,” Kahlan nodded, finally hearing something familiar. “I vaguely remember a new Seeker was supposed to be named.”

“You were the one looking for him,” Zedd continued. “You even enlisted my help, that’s how we met.”

Kahlan frowned, that, on the other hand, didn’t ring any bells. “As the Mother Confessor?”

“No, before that,” Zedd replied. “As a Confessor, you were tasked to find Richard.”

“I do not want to hear about this Richard, wizard,” Kahlan held her other hand up to stop him. She didn’t have time for a full history class. What she cared about was her city and why someone else was ruling it instead of her. “Tell me about Aydindril.”

“Could you please, let go of me first, K…” Zedd noticed the dark look Kahlan sent him so he changed the last part of his sentence. “Mother Confessor. I am not a threat.”

Kahlan hesitated for a moment then let go of her hold. The wizard might be more inclined to talk if he felt more at ease. “Go on, continue.” She crossed her arms.

“Aydindril was leaderless for a long time,” Zedd said calmly. “You were traveling with the Seeker and me when Mother Serena was killed. After that, you were named the new Mother Confessor but you didn’t go to Aydindril right away like you seem to think, you stayed with us to help Richard in his quest. Prince Fyren took advantage of that to plot a coup and so we came here to stop him.”

“Again, I can tell you’re being truthful but it’s hard for me to believe that I would abandon my people to follow the Seeker like a conscript. Wasn’t there any other Confessor up for the task?”

“This is a serious mission, the fate of the world is in the Seeker’s hands, it is important.” Zedd paused to debate if he should say more before carefully adding. “And you love him…”

Kahlan snorted, that sounded even more ridiculous than the rest, a Confessor in love. Maybe it was for the best that she didn’t remember all that, no man was worth abandoning your kingdom for. “This was entertaining, wizard, but I need to go to the palace now. The Mother Confessor is back and I need the prince of Kelton to vacate the premises.”

Zedd reached out and put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “I don’t think this is wise, maybe you should rest first, you really don’t sound like yourself. …”

“I’ve never felt better!” Kahlan pulled away from his touch. “You should rest, old man, I’ll take it from here.”

As she walked away, Zedd sighed heavily and put his hands in his pockets. That was when he felt the amulet that he had shoved there in his panic to help Kahlan. He pulled it out and as he studied it, he noticed the crack in the middle of it. “Spirits, that’s not good.” He rushed after Kahlan.

Kahlan threw her hood over her head, making sure to hide as much of her face as she could without looking suspicious. It felt strange to walk down the streets of Aydndril again, as if she had just woken up from a deep and abstruse slumber. The cobblestones beneath her feet were the same but everything around her looked bleaker, the city itself looked duller, gloomier, and more desolate. It was as if the war was still raging, most of the buildings that had been abandoned before still stood that way, there were even more beggars on the street and an increasingly large number of people missing a limb or an eye.

What once was the great city of the Confessors, the pride of all the Midlands, was now a ghostly shell, a mere shadow of its former self. The sight made anger bubble inside her chest. It had been Kahlan’s responsibility to prevent this from happening and yet here she was, walking amidst the reality of her failure.

Kahlan couldn’t remember a lot of things, a lot of details eluded her, and she didn’t know why, it felt like her mind was enveloped in fog. A small voice in Kahlan’s head was murmuring that it must be the work of a spell or a curse, something she should investigate further once she got her throne back. She could even question the wizard some more but right now, her priority was to get her kingdom back.

As the Mother Confessor made her way to the Confessor’s palace, she started feeling eyes on her back. Someone was following her every move, observing her from afar, counting her steps. Kahlan saw a merchant selling polished copper pans and slowed her pace. She carefully glanced behind her and instantly spotted the person following her. In all honesty, it would be rather difficult not to notice someone of Zeddicus’ stature and appearance. She stopped walking entirely and once she was sure the man could hear her, she declared. “If you wanted to walk with me, you could’ve just said so from the start, wizard.”

Zedd at least had the decency to look embarrassed. “I was just making sure…”

“That I wouldn’t get lost on my way to the palace?” Kahlan asked sarcastically, trying to keep her anger for the person occupying her throne. Thankfully, her question interrupted Zeddicus mid-sentence as he seemed to realize he couldn’t lie to her. “Now, I suggest we don’t prolong my people’s suffering with senseless chatter. Walk with me and tell me how the war ended.” She didn’t even try to keep the commanding voice away this time but there was no bite in her voice, only sheer authority. 

“Very well then.” Zedd conceded and began filling the blanks for Kahlan.

It was clear that he seemed to know her well and Kahlan could use that to her advantage but she wasn’t rushing to make any plans about his future in Aydindril. After all, she had returned because her people needed her to rule over the city, not to make friends.

As they neared the gates of the palace, Zedd had already told her everything she wanted to know but she could see there was something else on his mind and after a moment of silence, he couldn’t stop himself from speaking up again.

“K… Mother Confessor, I need to talk to you about…” His voice was filled with uncertainty.

“What do you know about the prince’s reign so far?” Kahlan interrupted him. She was the one asking questions and the one in charge here and she didn’t want him to forget it even for a moment.

“Alferon told me that when Darken Rahl fell, Fyren threw the D’Harans out of his province and Aydindril, then he jailed the council members and proclaimed himself High Lord Regent. He has bandits working for him to enforce his laws, mostly archaic or invented, demanding fines. When people can’t pay, or won’t, he makes examples out of them.” Zedd explained, this time no longer surprised when she interrupted him.

“I’ve heard enough!” Kahlan felt her blood boil. A small part of herself was telling her not to confess him but to wrap her fingers around Fyren's throat and squeeze until the last sparkle of life left his eyes. Throwing the D’Haran army out of her lands didn’t give Fyren the right to take over Aydindril. “I need to take care of him.”

“How?” Zedd questioned.

Kahlan smirked. “Well, if he’s the new regent, he should be in the petition room at the moment. I have a few complaints I’d like to share with him.”

“I need to tell you something first.” Zeddicus’ voice was laced with the same worry as before. “Your memory loss, it might have been caused, or is in the very least related to the crack on the amulet we used to get here.”

Kahlan wasn’t sure if he was talking hesitantly because he wasn’t certain of what had happened or because he wasn’t sure that it could be fixed. “Can’t you fix it?” The words fell from her lips, voicing her thoughts.

“I’m afraid this is something beyond the reach of my powers right now,”  Zedd answered apologetically.

Kahlan shook her head disapprovingly, at least that answered her doubts about whether or not the wizard would be of any help. “It doesn’t matter.” She spoke, her voice steady and controlled again. “With or without my full memory, I am back now and I have a job to do.”

Kahlan started walking quicker, making her way closer to reclaiming her title with each new step she took while Zed fell behind, his shoulders slumped. It was obvious that his mind was preoccupied with other important things.

Kahlan didn’t know why she was in Aydindril without wearing her Confessor’s dress but, for her plan, the brown leather dress she had on was better. After discreetly joining the line of people on trial, she entered the petition room, her hood low on her head. A guard led her to the prince as she fought her impulse to walk with her head high. Even without looking at Fyren, Kahlan could tell the man was enjoying the view she was giving him. Men, they were all the same.

“Well, what crime could this lovely young lady possibly have committed,” Fyren said as greetings.

“It’s a private matter,” Kahlan answered with a fake, shy voice that almost made her sick. As much as she hated looking weak, she knew it would help her fool the prince.

The man smiled, half-amused, half-charmed. “Come closer.” He beckoned her with his fingers. “Tell me what I can do for you.”

Kahlan lifted her head and stared at him with fire in her eyes before removing her hood. “You can get out of my chair!” Not giving him any time to answer, she stepped closer and confessed him.

The prince quickly fell to his knees. “Command me, Confessor.”

Kahlan smirked, she had missed seeing people bending to her will and showing her the respect that she deserved. She didn’t have to look around the room to know the soldiers had drawn their weapons, ready to attack her. “Order your men to stand down!”

“Death to anyone who harms her!” Fyren stood up with his sword in hand.

Kahlan slowly stepped closer to her throne then turned around to address the crowd. “The Mother Confessor has returned to Aydindril. Everyone answers to me, or you will meet the same fate as Prince Fyren. All of his edicts will be subjected to my review, there will be no more unjust fines or executions. The rule of law will be restored to the Midlands.”

Everybody in the room started clapping in cheers. Kahlan ignored the wizard smiling at her and sat on her throne, grinning proudly. She was back to her rightful place…

The meetings with her advisors and staff were as exhausting as she had thought they would but it was clear that she couldn’t skip them, especially not now. Once they were done discussing the most pressing issues, Kahlan decided to go to her chambers for a short break. It felt good to be back in power, to rule again, but she still wasn’t feeling great and this small pause was much needed.

Walking inside her chambers, she took a moment to study the room, trying to remember if things had changed since she last visited Mother Serena. Kahlan could see the heavy curtains blocking most of the sunlight and made a mental note to have them changed, she wanted light in her room. She took note of her ideas so she could give instructions to the servants after that, like changing the place of the bed and wardrobe, and putting a bigger rug on the floor.

Once she was done with the mental reorganization of her room, she moved to the wardrobe and was happy to find a Confessor’s dress inside. The prince had apparently settled in another wing of the palace, in a room where he could visit his mistresses more easily so her chambers had been left untouched. She grabbed the dress and smiled. She couldn’t wait to wear it again and as soon as she disrobed and stepped into the signature white clothing, she felt another smile spread on her face. It fitted her like a glove and she felt a bit more like herself now. Kahlan Amnell was the Mother Confessor and seeing herself in the mirror, standing tall and dressed in white with eyes that commanded respect left no doubt in her mind that she was on the right path once more. She was back where she belonged and she was going to restore Aydindril to its former glory, no matter the cost.

Since there was still time before dinner, Kahlan made her way back to her office but Zeddicus found her in the hallway before she could enter.

“Mother Confessor, I was wondering if you’d like to have supper with me tonight?” Zedd asked, clearly trying to get a chance to talk with her more extensively.

“I have too much work, wizard, I will just have something small in my office. Perhaps another time.” Kahlan tried to sound polite but something in her voice made it clear that she wouldn’t be accepting his supper invitation any time soon. She wasn’t in the mood to hear whatever else he had to say and she certainly didn’t want him anywhere near her.

“Maybe we could have breakfast tomorrow then?” The man asked.

Kahlan took one deep breath before answering. “I don’t think that will be possible either.” She looked at the guards on each side of her office door for a brief moment, her next words more directed at them even though she was facing Zedd. “You are free to go wherever you wish in the palace and the city but, as I’m sure you have already noticed, I have a lot of work and I do not wish to be bothered again, not under any circumstance.”

Kahlan decided to end the conversation there, she had nothing else to add, and for what concerned her, there was nothing else Zeddicus could say to change her mind so she opened the door to her office and closed it behind her.

Once inside, she tidied up the documents on her desk. There were plenty of treaties to revise and sentences to correct but amidst all the chaos, her eyes landed on a codex with blank pages. Taking it in her hands, she examined the paper closely and decided she could use it as a journal, to write and sort through what she remembered, which parts of her mind were still blurry and which memories were missing completely. Hopefully, this would help her clear the fog that had settled in her mind.

Kahlan continued organizing the papers. She had ordered her servants to bring her the laws that had been made in her absence as well, most of them needed to be revoked immediately but among those papers, she found some poorly made bills as well and she took a deep breath. This would take a while and getting angry wouldn’t help her. She had a long night ahead of her and it looked like it was just the first of many more to come.

Kahlan had been back for a couple of days and the number of things she had to take care of kept growing. Despite all the urgent matters, she knew it was important to hear petitions and let the people of the Midlands see that she was back for good.

When she stepped into the petition room, Kahlan instantly noticed Zeddicus on the front row and held back a sigh. The old man was still there and it didn’t look like he was planning on leaving. She had other things to worry about for now so she quickly sat on her throne and got ready to revise the prince’s judgments.

At some point, a blond man with very short hair entered the room and bowed to her. “Thank you for seeing me, Mother Confessor.”

Kahlan smiled politely and looked at the parchment the prince had handed her. The official report said the man standing in front of her had been judged for stealing food and sentenced to death. “The sentence issued by Prince Fyren was unduly harsh. His order for your beheading is hereby overturned.”

“Bless you, Mother Confessor.” The man bowed once again in gratitude.

Kahlan nodded back, a clear signal that he should take his leave but then, Zeddicus stepped forward with a self-satisfactory smile.

“Kahlan, Mother Confessor, I believe we can do more to mitigate this man’s loss.” Zedd grabbed the man’s arm and approached his hand to his stump.

“Just a moment, Zeddicus.” Kahlan raised her hand to stop him. “His hand was removed because he stole grain.”

“I had to,” The man defended. “To feed my family.”

Kahlan titled her head. “But you stole that grain from another family.” She pointed out.

The defendant lowered his head in shame. “Yes, Mother Confessor.”

“Then according to the code of Aydindril, cutting off your hand was the fitting punishment.” Once upon a time, Kahlan would have found those laws too harsh but now, she was seeing things from a new perspective. Maybe Aydindril lost its prestige and fell so easily to the enemy because the previous Mother Confessor was too soft. Having the love of the people might have been nice but it made them weak, made them lose the fear and respect other lands had for them, and now, here they were. She needed to fix that. “I’m afraid I can’t let the wizard restore it.”

Zedd frowned at her words. “Are you sure?”

Kahlan could tell the wizard disapproved, she had seen him shake his head in disapproval for the past candlemark and her patience was starting to wear thin. “I’ve made my decision.” She saw the wizard nod and then lean toward another man to have a hush conversation. She wondered if they were talking about her, it was possible so she made a note to ask her guards to keep an eye on them. “Next!” She called; she didn’t have all day.

Once Kahlan was done with petitions for the day, she moved to the small adjoining office where official reports were stored. There was something special about this room, about being surrounded by large bookshelves filled with treaties and journals. The smell of paper and ink carried through the air and calmed her but her favorite part was the sizeable windows that let the sunrays in and bathed the room in light throughout the day. At night, she could see hundreds of small, flickering dots in the skies. She still preferred working in her personal office but until she was done cleaning up the prince’s mess, it was easier to stay in the room with all the references she needed.

She was sorting out judgments when Prince Fyren approached her with an update on his progress. He and his men were supposed to give back the fines they had taken from the Midlanders and from what the prince was telling her, it was going well.

“Have I pleased you, Mistress?” Fyren asked like an over-excited puppy.

“For now.” Kahlan was keeping him around for the moment, to help with the transition as she tried to catch up with what had happened during her absence but he was still a traitor and she would have to punish him eventually. “See that all the prisoners released get home safely.”

The prince bowed his head. “Yes, Mistress.”

Kahlan focused back on her notes but her moment of peace was short-lived. She soon heard footsteps approaching and when she looked up, she saw it was the wizard of the First Order, again. She let out a loud sigh. “Zeddicus, I thought you had left the palace already. Don’t you have anything better to do than chaperoning me?” The man’s presence in the palace wasn’t a bother in itself, it allowed her to keep him under surveillance but he seemed adamant that she should act differently and it was starting to get on her nerve.

“I just didn’t want to miss the Mother Confessor bringing justice back to Aydindril,” Zedd announced with a friendly smile.

“There is so much to set right and I’m afraid I don’t have much time to speak with you,” Kahlan answered, already trying to cut the conversation short. “Was there something you wanted to discuss, wizard?”

“Why didn’t you allow me to restore that young man’s hand,” Zedd asked without wasting a moment, clearly aware that his time with Kahlan was counted.

“He stole grain from another family,” Kahlan replied matter-of-factly. She didn’t know why he was surprised; she was just applying the law. She stood up to get a parchment roll.

“With his hand, he could have worked to repay them.” Zedd pointed out.

Kahlan sat back. “According to the code of Aydindril…” She started, her voice monotone but the wizard quickly interrupted her. 

“You know better than I do that those barbaric codes haven’t been enforced for hundreds of years.” Zedd reminded her.

“Yes, and look at the Midlands now!” Kahlan waved around. She couldn’t believe she had to justify herself. She was the one in charge and she didn’t need the man’s patronizing advice. “I did not come here to grant amnesty to thieves and petty criminals. I came here to abolish a corrupt system, to bring back the rule of law. If I start making exceptions, the rules will lose their meaning.”

“In the past, you’ve always been the one to err on the side of mercy.” The wizard commented.

“What you call mercy is a stone’s throw from chaos.” Kahlan leaned back in her chair and locked eyes with him. “I am a leader, I am not this foolish, blinded, and short-sighted woman you seem to believe I am.” Everything Zeddicus had told her about who she was supposed to be sounded wrong, like it was someone else’s life and they couldn’t be more different. “You discovered the reason behind my… unfortunate amnesia and I am grateful for your help but you are free to go back to your duties, whatever they are.”  

“If you don’t mind, I would like to stay a bit longer.” Zedd raised his eyebrows in a questioning expression.

“Of course,” Kahlan gave him her sweetest, fakest smile. “But you know what they say, never outstay your welcome…”

A week later, Kahlan had finally found her mark. She had overruled the prince’s most horrific decisions and could now focus on her own new laws. She had big plans for the Midlands but even with Fyren out of the way, she still had a big obstacle: The council.

She had requested the councilors’ presence in the petition room and when she settled on her throne, she wasn’t even surprised to see Zeddicus sitting on the first row. It was a public audience so she had no reason to ask him to leave and seeing what she was about to announce, she was glad he was there, it might serve as a warning.

“The council of the Midlands has returned to be seated.” Prince Fyren announced as the council members entered the room.

“That won’t be necessary,” Kahlan stated. She hadn’t told anyone why she had summoned the council and she couldn’t wait to see their reactions. She had always thought the council was a hindrance, a useless organization holding the Mother Confessor back with petty requests and personal vendettas. If she really wanted to change the Midlands for the better, she needed to get rid of them once and for all. It wasn’t like they had done much to protect her lands in her absence anyway. “Under the council’s watch,” She stood up. “Prince Fyren was able to usurp my authority and unleash a reign of terror over the Midlands. The council has proven itself utterly ineffective and is hereby suspended.” She watched as the councilors stared at her in confusion then shock. “Justice in the Midlands requires only one voice: mine.” She smirked slightly before turning around and moving to her office.

It didn’t take long for Zeddicus to join her, an angry frown on his face. “I don’t know what happened to you when we used that amulet to get here but something has happened to you, Kahlan. You are not yourself.”

“Then let me remind you, Zeddicus, that before last week, I only knew you by name.” Kahlan’s voice rose in annoyance. “I don’t know who you think I am but I have no interest in finding out who this other version of Kahlan Amnell is. I am happy with who I am and if you’re not, then it’s time for you to leave because if you keep questioning my authority, I will have no choice but to arrest you for crime of Lèse-majesté.”

Zedd’s eyes went wide in surprise. “I’m just trying to help…”

“Then stay out of my way.” Kahlan growled before leaving the room to go to her study. She had a feeling she wasn’t done with him yet but it was fine, there were a lot of free cells available now if the wizard was foolish enough to try anything.

Chapter Text

Cara was walking at a swift pace, following the direction the compass had pointed to. She slowed down to ask Richard if they were still going the right way when she realized the Lord Rahl wasn’t right behind her. She stopped and scanned the forest to find him. He was at a good distance from her, dragging his feet with a sad look on his face. Cara let out a loud sigh and tapped her foot impatiently until the Seeker joined her. “Stop moping around.”

“I’m not!” Richard answered almost petulantly.

Cara rolled her eyes, as if it wasn’t obvious. “Kahlan will come back. I’m sure you can survive a few days without her.” This situation was ridiculous, Richard was the Seeker, and Kahlan the Mother Confessor, they should act like responsible people, not lovesick puppies with a codependency problem.

“I know, we’ve been apart before but…” Richard sighed wearily. “It’s harder than I thought…”

If Lord Rahl was expecting comfort from her, he had knocked on the wrong door. Cara’s focus was on their quest and it wouldn’t hurt to remind Richard of that. Besides, she didn’t know why he was so surprised, Kahlan was bound to go back to the city of the Confessors eventually. “Kahlan is the Mother Confessor; she should be in Aydindril but she’s staying with you to help so stop whining and do what the Seeker is supposed to do!” Richard had refused his rightful place on the throne for this mission, the least he could do was to focus on it.

Richard shook his head as if he felt sorry for her. “You can’t understand what it’s like to be separated from the love of your life and not have her constant support.”

“You are not a child,” Cara growled, her fists balling as she fought the urge to snap at him. “You do not need her to hold your hand while you try to fulfill your mission.”

“It’s not like that,” Richard frowned, somehow offended by her words. “It’s just…”

“I’m not Kahlan,” Cara cut him off. “I don’t want to hear one of your long and pathetic rants about love, so let’s just follow the compass and walk in silence from now on.” She looked at him pointedly before leading the way once more.

Despite walking east for the past few days, they hadn’t made much progress in their quest. Richard - although walking at a faster pace - was still driving Cara crazy with his constant sighing and gloomy looks. As much as Cara wanted to continue, she needed a break from the Lord Rahl so she decided to make camp for the night, hopefully, it would offer her some reprieve.

Cara left Richard take care of the fire while she went hunting. When she came back with a rabbit a candlemark later, the camp was set and Richard was sitting in front of the fire. She handed him her catch and sat down, waiting for him to prepare their dinner. Usually, when it was the four of them, Zedd would be the one in charge of the food while Richard would chop wood and Kahlan would refill their waterskins. If the others were there, there would also be more talking too but Cara was glad for the silence right now.

After supper, Richard’s mood seemed to improve. He started talking about his time as a forest guide and the people he had met along the way. Cara listened to his stories, slightly amused that his naivety was still a part of his personality after everything.

“I don’t know…” Richard chuckled as he tried to conclude his story about a former lover. “I’m not saying I would have married her but things were simpler back then.”

“You should have seen the signs,” Cara commented.

“Maybe,” Richard shrugged. “But the promise of building a family sounded nice…” He gave her a boyish smile.

Cara rolled her eyes. “Here we go again…”

“Have you ever thought about that?” Richard leaned closer as if they were two schoolgirls gossiping around the fire.

“About what?” Cara blinked, not liking where the conversation was going. “Having a family?”

“Yes, a spouse, children…” Richard smiled at her encouragingly, as if expecting her to share her life after he shared his.

Cara stared at him in disbelief. “Richard, I am a Mord’Sith, what do you think?” What did he expect? That she would retire and find some nice man or woman to settle down and grow old with? She was a warrior, an instrument of pain and death. Love, marriage, family, and all those silly things weren’t for her. She was supposed to die an honorable death, preferably in an epic fight, not surrounded by loved ones. Besides, she didn’t even think anyone should mourn her. After the life she had lived, she wouldn’t deserve any of those things anyway.

“I just… I feel bad for the comment I made the other day about you and love.” Richard rubbed his neck sheepishly. “I… I want you to be happy and if you ever want something like that, you have my full support, not that you need my permission.”

“Richard...” Cara said with a warning tone. If she had known being separated from Kahlan was going to make Richard so sentimental, she would have insisted to join her and the wizard there.

As if the Spirits had heard her thoughts, a raven flew and croaked above them before dropping a small piece of paper next to Richard.

Richard frowned and reached for it, slowly unfolding the note. “It’s from Zedd…” He paused long enough to read it. “It’s Kahlan.”

“What’s wrong?” Cara scowled. As much as she was glad for the interruption, the long face Richard was pulling did not bode well.

“He says Kahlan isn’t herself,” Richard revealed. “She can’t remember most of what happened to her these past two years and he’s worried…” He looked up and locked eyes with Cara. “We have to go to Aydindril.”

“We split for a reason.” Cara reached for the note and took it from his hand. “Is Zedd even asking for us to come?” She quickly read the note and even though the wizard seemed worried, he was already trying to fix the situation himself.

“No, but you know what the prophecy says,” Richard stressed. “If Kahlan is not acting like herself, she could be in danger and I need her to be safe.”

Cara sighed loudly. “Fine, but I’m not walking all the way there so we need to find horses.”

When Cara and Richard passed the gates of Aydindril, they decided to leave their horses at the closest inn and continued on foot to avoid attention. Since Zedd hadn’t said anything about Prince Fyren, they didn’t know if the guards in the city were friendly or not so it was better to be on the side of caution and keep a low profile.

Richard bought them cloaks and with their faces now hidden, they made their way to the palace. However, as they were exiting the market, a man with grey hair and a long dark robe grabbed Richard by the arm and led him to the side.

Cara quickly pulled out her agiel and brought it to their assailant’s throat. “Let him go if you don’t want to lose that hand.”

“Please, Seeker, I’m here to help.” The man rushed to say as he snatched his hand away.

Richard motioned at Cara to put her weapon away and asked, “Who are you?”

“I’m Alferon, wizard of the Second Order and a friend of Zeddicus.” The man introduced himself. “Forgive me for my manners but I needed to stop you before you reach the palace.”

“Why?” Cara questioned, her agiel still in her hand.

“The Mother Confessor has changed,” Alferon informed them. “She accused Zeddicus of treason and imprisoned him. I barely escaped the palace before she started confessing everyone who opposed her.”

“That doesn’t sound like Kahlan.” Richard frowned in concern.

Alferon looked around as if to make sure nobody was listening then murmured. “Zeddicus said the same thing and now he’s locked away in a cell.”

“I should go talk to her,” Richard stated, already taking a step forward.

This time, Cara was the one stopping him. “Is it a good idea?” If Kahlan had imprisoned the wizard and confessed half of her people, it was clear that she wasn’t herself and a few inspiring words from Richard wouldn’t change that.

“The Mord’Sith is right,” Alferon agreed. “She doesn’t know who you are.”

“How is that possible?” Richard reached up to run a hand through his hair then stopped mid-movement, apparently recalling he had his hood on.

“Zeddicus thinks the Olderan’s amulet changed her somehow.” The wizard of the Second Order revealed. “But he didn’t say anything else to protect me.”

“Then we need to find a way to see Zedd.” Richard declared decisively.  

Cara looked at the palace from afar. It was a fortress and there was no way for them to force their way through. “It won’t be easy to get inside without being noticed so I hope you have a plan because getting arrested as well won’t help anyone.”

Richard glanced at the buzzing crowd around them then focused back on Alferon. “Is there somewhere private we can discuss this?”

“Yes, follow me.” Alferon nodded in the opposite direction of the market and started walking.

The wizard led Cara and Richard to a small crypt at the border of the city. At first glance, it seemed like nobody had visited the crypt in years. On the outside, the stones were covered in moss, and on the inside, there were spiderwebs longer than Cara’s braid had ever been. The place was barely big enough to accommodate the three of them and the dust that had settled on top of some surfaces seemed to never have been cleaned at all.

“It’s not much but nobody will find us here,” Alferon said as he grabbed the parchments and potions on the table to make room for his guests to sit. “Please have a seat.”

Cara glanced at the state of the bench and decided to stay up. Richard, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered with the mess around.

After tidying up a bit more, Alferon joined Richard at the table and started recounting what Kahlan had done since her return. The list was long: harsh sentences, confessing people whose only crime was to disagree with her, or even revoking the council, just to cite a few…

Richard seemed appalled by what he was hearing. “We need to do something.”

“Do you know the palace well?” Cara asked Richard. If he was Kahlan’s mate, he must have visited the palace enough times to know the premise. “If there’s a secret entrance, we could sneak inside and get Zedd.”

“No, I…” Richard glanced at Alferon then back at Cara. “No.”

Cara frowned. Richard almost looked embarrassed by his answer but she couldn’t question him with the wizard around so she let it slide for now.

“If there are secret passages, they’re probably guarded,” Alferon said. “The Mother Confessor is very paranoid; she fears someone is going to depose her.”

Richard scratched his three-day stubble as he tried to come up with a plan. “Maybe I could ask for an audience as the Seeker? It’s also my right to see my grandfather.”

“Then we would lose our element of surprise.” Cara countered.

“I have an idea.” Alferon jumped in. “The Mother Confessor is having a ball in two days, maybe you could sneak in and find Zedd once you’re inside the palace.”

“Why is she having a ball if she’s so paranoid?” Cara raised an eyebrow.

“It’s a show of power.” Alferon declared with a sad sigh. “She wants everyone to know that the Mother Confessor is back and only her voice matters.”

Cara nodded. “I can respect that.” She saw Richard give her the side-eye. “What?” It wasn’t something she would ever say out loud but Kahlan was a good leader, she deserved to be respected.

Richard shook his head and looked back at Alferon. “We can’t go as ourselves, we need a cover.”

“I could make your names magically appear on the guest list.” Alferon offered. “She knows everyone in the Midlands but a few people from D’Hara are also expected, you could be among them.”

“That’s good,” Richard smiled at him. “But we need to be important people, important enough to get Kahlan’s attention.”

Cara bobbed her head in agreement. If Richard could distract Kahlan long enough, she would be able to rescue Zedd. “D’Hara has a lot of aristocrats, you could be a prince.”

Richard nodded, clearly enjoying the idea. “And you could be my sister, princess Cara.” He added with a teasing smile.

“No, uh huh.” Cara shook her head vehemently.

“She doesn’t know who you are, it’s perfect!” Richard exclaimed, a bit too gleeful about the prospect of making Cara suffer. “Can you find her a dress?” He asked the wizard.

“No way!” Cara exclaimed in horror. She knew Richard couldn’t pull it off without her but it didn’t mean she had to humiliate herself to please him. “I’m no princess!”

“Cara, please,” Richard gave her some sad puppy eyes. “It’s not just for Zedd, it’s for Kahlan’s sake too.”

Cara rolled her eyes. “She’s not in any imminent danger…”

“Maybe not yet,” Richard conceded. “But don’t tell me she wouldn’t hate what she has become and wouldn’t want us to put an end to it.”

Cara sighed. Kahlan might not be her friend but she respected the woman. She knew Richard was right, Kahlan would not like to be the cutthroat wench she seemed to have become, especially when the first talk they had together was about compassion. “Fine. Find me a dress…”

Two days later, Cara found herself standing still at the entrance of the Confessor’s palace and she wasn’t sure what felt more suffocating, the tight bodice of the pink dress she had on, or the high, cold, white marble walls around her. Going inside the palace felt like willingly walking into one of the worst traps someone like her could ever step foot in and somehow, the fabric of the dress made her feel unprotected. The small cape she was wearing wasn’t helping either.

She felt uncomfortable and couldn’t stop readjusting her breasts or fumbling with her sleeves whenever people weren’t looking at her. Every time she looked down, she would scrunch her nose in disgust at the color of the dress. At this point, she was pretty sure there was no clothing more uncomfortable than this and nobody seemed to care.

Richard, on the other hand, was much happier with his clothes, made with smoother fabrics than his usual attire. Cara had her arm locked with his which allowed Richard to nudge her each time she touched her dress.

“Stop fiddling with your dress, it looks good,” Richard said in a calm, reassuring voice.

“Why don’t you wear it then?” Cara glared back. She wanted to say more but kept her mouth shut as they stepped in front of the guard filtering the guests. Another reason for her discomfort was that she still didn’t know if they could trust Alferon even though Richard seemed convinced that he was trustworthy. It wouldn’t be the first time that Richard’s naïve nature led them astray with a supposed ally. The only thing that would speak for itself would be their names appearing on the list like the wizard had promised them.

“Prince Roderick, welcome to Aydindril.” The guard declared after looking through the list in his hands. He moved to the side with a polite tilt of his head.

Cara shook her head when she saw Richard grin proudly as they passed the guard, their arms still linked. “I don’t know what’s more ridiculous, my dress or your blonde hair.” She murmured just loud enough for Richard to hear as they made their way through the wide hallway leading directly to the dancing hall.

The dancing hall was beautiful and even though Cara didn’t know much about the way nobles lived, she could see that the place was uniquely decorated, with some pieces of art that attested to the indisputable wealth and power of the person living there. 

When Cara and Richard stepped into the dancing hall, the sheer space of the room made Cara pause for a bit, the hall itself was extraordinarily wide, large enough for at least fifty people to dance undisturbed and fifty more to talk comfortably on the side with plenty more room to accommodate the people coming behind them. She quickly snapped back into reality and began roaming around the room to see if one of the connecting hallways could lead to the dungeon while also counting the guards.

As she walked, Cara could appreciate better the ample space around her. There were seven columns integrated on each side of the hall, all lined with bright torches. The columns were built in a peculiar style that Cara hadn’t seen until now, the marble blocks near the ceiling looked like tree branches or twigs stemming from a trunk made of stone and they were touching the ceiling. More vines sneaked from the stone branches and intertwined with each other, making the design above their heads seem like one intertwined canopy of marble forest. Seven large chandeliers hung from the ceilings, each holding numerous candles that bathed the room with light.

Tables and seats of tarred timber, together with the rich carmine curtains, broke the engulfing whiteness of the hall and the painted golden motives that sneaked up the walls around them made Cara feel even more uneasy. She reached for a glass from one of the servers walking around with drinks. 

“Should you be drinking?” Richard asked, clearly doubting if it was a wise decision.

“You forced me into a dress, should I be sober too?” Cara couldn’t hold back the sass, it was Richard who was supposed to distract Kahlan after all, not her. She was supposed to sneak into the dungeon and release Zedd from his cell, she was pretty sure she could do it without using her agiels.

“We’re not here for entertainment.” Richard chastised her.

“Trust me I know; this is not my definition of fun.” Cara gestured to the garment she was wearing, completely ignoring the look Richard was giving her.

“I didn’t know you knew the meaning of that word.” Richard teased.

For a moment, Cara was tempted to smack him behind the head but alas, such an unladylike behavior would only attract more attention to them.  “And I didn’t know you were such a jester, you should…” She started but suddenly, a familiar voice cut her off. 

“Who do I have the pleasure of welcoming into my palace this evening?” Kahlan asked with a polite smile. Her eyes landed directly on Cara even though the question had been directed at the both of them.

“I’m prince Roderick, my lady.” Richard bowed and tried to kiss her hand but Kahlan pulled it away rapidly and offered it to Cara instead, barely acknowledging the man’s presence with a hum.

“And you are?” Kahlan questioned with a curious smirk.

The blonde raised an eyebrow and in turn, looked at Kahlan from head to toe. Her white dress effectively made her stand out from the crowd and her stance was confident and poised. It was divided into two parts, the bodice that went from the waist up to the beginning of the split sleeves, beaded with countless minuscule crystals, and the long skirt that was completely void of any and all embellishments, only snowy white silk hugging her legs. The dress was fitted at the hips and widened gradually towards the hem, giving the impression of the shape of a capital letter A. It had a high neckline, perfectly coming to rest just a little under her throat, the sleeves were cut and seamed to fit on the shoulder and taper to nothing underneath the arm, with the rest of the fabric going all the way down to her feet, merging with the sweep train and trailing in the wind with each step she took. The long, falling material of the sleeves reminded Cara of Kahlan’s usual dress but it was obvious that this one was made to impress, to baffle, and enchant. The silk hugged Kahlan’s body softly, gently hinting at her curves while covering everything but her arms, the slit of the sleeves beginning from the middle point between the shoulder and elbow, all the way up to her fingertips. Cara took Kahlan’s hand. “Cara…” She offered then remembered her title and quickly added, “Princess Cara.” The title tasted strange on her lips but she tried to use her steadiest voice until Richard decided to clear his throat, breaking the momentary trance that seemed to have engulfed both women. “Mother Confessor…” She finished with a slight bow of her head.

“What a sight for sore eyes you are, you look nothing like your brother,” Kahlan spoke again, her eyes not leaving Cara’s.

Cara knew that look on her face, could see the interest in her eyes like she had seen in many eyes before, she just had never thought she would receive it from Kahlan of all people. “He has the title and I have the beauty.” She answered, deciding to play along for now despite her surprise.

“And judging by your wits, the brain as well.” Kahlan reached out and caressed Cara’s arm.

The touch awoke a strange sensation in Cara. She wasn’t the most tactile woman and usually, when she touched another person, it was either to hurt them or take her pleasure from them. On the other hand, Kahlan was an affectionate person and had often reached out to squeeze her arm, as much as Cara hated it sometimes but this time, it felt different, almost predatory. Cara glanced at Richard with a mix of subtle surprise and a plea to get her out of this, whatever this was, this was not the plan at all. Richard was supposed to be the one charming Kahlan and she was supposed to go help Zedd but apparently, this version of the Mother Confessor didn’t care about the Seeker.

Richard cleared his throat again. “But I’m better at hunting.” He smiled with that boyish charm that had always worked on Kahlan so far. “Perhaps I could interest you with some entertaining stories if you’d accompany me.”

“I’m sure they are fascinating but I’d rather hear stories from your sister.” Kahlan offered her hand again. “Care to have a drink with me, Princess Cara?”

As much as Cara disliked the situation, she knew she couldn’t really refuse the company of the Mother Confessor, especially with how different Kahlan was right now, so she took her hand with a polite smile. “Lead the way.”

Cara took a couple of steps then stopped abruptly. “Wait.” She saw Kahlan looking at her expectantly, clearly not used to being asked to wait. “I just need a quick word with my… brother.” She said and Kahlan nodded. She turned around and made her way to Richard. “I don’t think she’s going to leave my side so, change of plan, you go find Zedd.” She didn’t whisper since she didn’t want to look suspicious but her voice was quiet enough so no one would hear them. She removed her cape and handed it to Richard, after all, she had no use for a cape that was supposed to make her invisible now.

“But…” Richard frowned, glancing at Kahlan before looking back at Cara. “I was supposed to…”

Cara took a deep breath and willed herself to keep the annoyance in her voice at bay. She didn’t have the time to hear whatever he was about to say, she could already see his bruised ego and had other things to do than comfort him. “I know you wanted to seduce her and be the gallant knight saving the day but this Kahlan has lost more than her compassion, if you know what I mean.” She glanced at Kahlan; she could see the Mother Confessor was getting impatient.

“Don’t say that.” Richard chastised her.

Cara rolled her eyes. “Whatever, we don’t have time, just go, I’ll keep her busy.”

“In a respectful way,” Richard added as if he was reminding a child to behave.

“I am not a harlot for hire.” Cara glared at him.

“No, no, that’s not what I meant…” Richard tried to backpaddle but Cara was having none of it. 

“No, you’re clearly jealous but I’ve never asked for this so don’t act like I’m trying to steal her from you.” The blonde’s voice was clear and she made sure Richard understood exactly what she was saying.

“I know, I’m sorry, I trust you.” Richard sighed in defeat, finally accepting their change of plan.

“Princess Cara?” Kalhan hadn’t moved from her spot but her voice was a bit louder this time and it was clear that she didn’t appreciate being kept waiting.

“Yes, Mother Confessor, I’m coming.” Cara turned around, leaving Richard behind as she forced a smile. She let Kahlan take her hand and lead her to a small table with a couple of chairs at the side of the hall.

Cara and Kahlan had been talking for half a candlemark now, well, Kahlan was certainly talking but Cara’s role was more of a listener than an active participant in the so-called chat. It had become evident pretty early in the conversation that the Mother Confessor wasn’t herself, she wasn’t asking any questions or caring much about her answers, it was like she was just enjoying the sound of her own voice. Kahlan kept complaining about how terrible the people surrounding her were and how it was a good thing that she was back to put a bit of order in Aydindril, even if it meant cutting a few heads. Cara didn’t disagree with her but she knew the real Kahlan wouldn’t say that, more importantly, the real Kahlan wouldn’t drag slowly and seductively her foot up and down Cara’s under the table. She had always thought Kahlan was only attracted to men; she had never had a reason to question it either. There was no doubt in Cara’s mind that Kahlan was attracted to Richard but clearly, there must have been more to it, something that wasn’t easy to notice, especially if nobody looked for it. Cara might not know much about the amulet but she was pretty sure losing your moral compass didn’t suddenly make you enthralled by women’s charms so ‘their Kahlan’ must have been more opened to the possibility than any of them had ever realized and that came as a big surprise. Of course, it wasn’t like Cara was interested in Kahlan or anything, no, the blonde was just curious.

She could feel Kahlan’s foot going higher and higher and she knew she had to put a stop to this before things went further. Cara stood up abruptly, her chair screeching as she pushed it backward. “I… I…” She was trying to come up with a plausible excuse for her reaction but thankfully, an advisor approached them just in that moment, asking Kahlan for a moment. The Mother Confessor didn’t hesitate in granting him his request and excused herself from the table and the company. Cara nodded politely then rushed to get a drink, just in time to see Richard returning from his mission with a frown on his face and the cape in his arms. He also had the same sad look he had before they entered the palace that night. “Where is Zedd? Can we go now?”

“They put a Rada’Han around his neck, he can’t leave,” Richard explained. “He said things will only get worse if we don’t find a way to bring the real Kahlan back.”

“Does he know what happened to her?” Cara was finally asking the question that had been on her mind since they started their journey to Aydindril.

“He thinks that, when they traveled back, Kahlan was torn between staying with us and coming to Aydindril. When she heard what happened to the city, she felt guilty, like she had let her emotions take over her duties, so when the amulet cracked, it somehow split her emotional side from the logical one and locked down her kinder traits to make room for the more practical ones required to carry the duties of the Mother Confessor.” He added further. “So, it’s like a part of her is missing...”

“And the memory loss?” The blonde still couldn’t understand how it all happened. Zedd had made it sound like it was a safe way to travel so why would the amulet crack?

Richard sighed. “It was simply too much for her mind to handle.”

“So how do we bring the real Kahlan back?” Cara questioned, going straight to the most important question.

“Zedd can’t fix the amulet right now, so the only way to help Kahlan is to make her remember, remind her of who she is,” Richard answered before telling her that they needed to remind Kahlan of who they all were to her as well.

Cara ignored his look of a kicked puppy that was becoming a permanent fixture on his face and asked. “And how do we do that before she kills the wizard?”

“She wants him dead?” Richard’s voice went an octave higher and his eyes widened.

“Oh, she’s definitely… unhinged, and that’s coming from me.” Cara shook her head gently; she still couldn’t believe how the roles had reversed.

“Princess?” Kahlan’s voice interrupted them both once more.

“Mother Confessor.” Cara acknowledged her with a forced smile on her face. She really wasn’t in the mood for more fake politeness.

“Are you leaving?” Kahlan inquired, focusing her look on her.

“Yes, I fear I have overindulged in the fare.” The blonde used the first excuse that came up in her mind that was at least half credible.

“You should rest then,” Kahlan stated. “I would like to see you again though. Would you like to dine with me tomorrow?”

Cara found herself slightly admiring that brazen and confident side of her. She looked at Richard questioningly and saw him nod at her. She didn’t think it was a good idea but if the Seeker agreed, he couldn’t blame her later since he was well aware that the invitation hadn’t come from her. Forcing a smile felt easier this time and Cara used her sweetest voice to say her next words. “I would love to, Mother Confessor.”

“Please, call me Kahlan. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Kahlan kissed Cara’s hand before disappearing into the crowd.

Now alone, Cara felt Richard’s eyes on her again and snapped. “What?”

“As much as I hate to admit it, I think the only way to get Zedd out of here is for you to get closer to Kahlan and make her see reason,” Richard replied, sounding defeated.

Cara was already shaking her head vehemently. “That’s a terrible idea! I don’t think I should give any advice on how to be a decent person. Torture is my preferred technic to obtain information, don’t you see the problem here?”

“We don’t have a choice.” The Seeker reminded her.

“We’re not even friends,” Cara kept arguing. “I don’t know anything about her life, how am I supposed to make her remember things I don’t even know?”

“You might not be as close to her as I am but I know you listen when she talks and you pay enough attention to remember a few things that matter,” Richard said, leaving no space for doubt in his voice.

“But it would be better if it was you who got close to her, she loves you.” Cara knew she was fighting a losing battle but it had never stopped her before.

“Not right now,” Richard answered with a sad smile. “And despite everything, I know deep down, you two care about each other.”

Cara had to admit, although begrudgingly, that there was kind of, maybe, possibly a tiny ounce of truth to what he had just said. Still, she scoffed at that and was ready to deny it all for the sake of guarding that carefully crafted image she had of an emotionless Mord’Sith but Richard kept going.

“Besides, I’m sure our Kahlan would trust you enough to guide her back to us.” Richard finished in a tone that let her know he was tired of arguing with her.

“Fine.” Cara let out a long-suffering sigh. This Kahlan didn’t care about Richard and Cara didn’t want to be blamed if anything happened to the Mother Confessor or Zedd so she was willing to try.

Chapter Text

They rented a room at a close-by inn and spent the next day planning and strategizing meticulously. After coming up with a made-up story for her princess’ background, they talked about how Richard had met Kahlan and some other things they had done before she joined them, things Cara wished she had never learned about. Then, they moved on to making a list of their possible allies in the palace, people who weren’t confessed and could help her if needed - not that Cara was planning on asking them - and finally, at her insistence, they tried to come up with at least three different plans to get Zedd out if they couldn’t bring Kahlan back to her senses. Needless to say, none of them was optimal but if worst came to pass, they were prepared.  

Once they were done, Cara finally decided to question Richard about why he didn’t know the palace well, after all, Kahlan was his mate and it was her home. The man explained that they were always on the road the first year and when he was supposed to take her home, the rift happened. Cara still found it weird, they always had time to spare to rescue strays and damsels in distress but not a couple of days for Kahlan to make sure her people were alright? She didn’t know if it was Kahlan’s choice or Richard’s but, in her opinion, what happened could have been avoided.

The sun was starting its descent behind the horizon, the sky was painted with bold streaks of pink and fiery orange, making Cara a bit less nervous about tonight, not that she would ever say that aloud. It was time for her to get ready. There was no way she was wearing a dress again; she didn’t plan on staying long anyway. She pondered the idea of going with a cloak and keeping her leather beneath it, using the excuse that it was too cold to remove it. After all, Cara was going there to try and make Kahlan see reason and be done with it. The fact that Kahlan wasn’t completely herself as well fueled Cara’s desire to wear more practical clothes in case of a fight. She nodded to herself; she would keep her leather on tonight.

Cara had just finished cleaning her boots and was putting them back on, ready to go to the palace when Richard appeared in front of her.

The Seeker looked at her from head to toe before speaking with an incredulous voice. “And where do you think you’re going like that?”

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry. I’ll just put a cloak over it.” Cara dismissed him but he wasn’t backing off.

“You can’t go as a Mord’Sith, Cara,” Richard stated, taking a deep breath, as if preparing himself for a very long conversation, one they didn’t have the time for.

“You are the one who said I was supposed to trigger her memory,” Cara grumbled.

“She doesn’t know you are our ally yet.” Richard retorted. “She will kill you right away!”

Cara snorted. “As if she could.”

“It’s too dangerous and taking unnecessary risks won’t do us any good,” Richard spoke calmly as if he was talking to a child.

Cara sighed. Honestly, she would take the option of fighting Kahlan a hundred times over having the woman all over her, it felt… well she wasn’t sure exactly what it felt like but she didn’t like it. “Then do you have some spare pants?” She looked at him up and down. He was wearing his usual brown cotton pants and a blue shirt with a ridiculously low cleavage, rivaling the one of her own leather but with nothing to fill it underneath. It just hung on him like an oversized tunic on a toddler. Not to mention all of his clothes looked cheap and most of his shirts had holes in them from previous fights but still, she considered it an improvement to wearing another dress.

“You are a Princess; you’re supposed to wear the new dress Alferon brought you.” Richard pointed at it. 

Cara looked disgusted at the thought, honestly, she had no problem eating a handful of worms but wearing a dress seemed even worse than that. With a groan, she grabbed the pink and black dress the wizard had given her and lifted it, examining the fabric in her hands without even hiding the look of disdain on her face. “This is hideous.” It was a much simpler design compared to the one she had worn at the previous reception but the baby pink of the dress made her feel queasy. There were no frills and lace this time, the sleeves were short and it looked more comfortable but the bodice had the same deep neckline and was outlined with black silk that complimented the wide half strip of the same black material that wrapped around her middle. Cara shook her head and accepted her fate. “Why did it have to be pink though? Is this some sort of a conspiracy against me?” She half-whined then glared at Richard when he laughed.

“I think it’s lovely and I’m sure Kahlan will love it too,” Richard replied with a chuckle. 

Cara barely managed to bite her tongue and not tell Richard that Kahlan seemed more interested in what was under her clothes at the moment but thankfully, this time, she kept her mouth shut. She knew how displeased he was with the way things had developed and didn’t want to vex him even further. Kahlan’s seemingly promiscuous behavior had done that perfectly well on its own. “Kahlan will see it’s a cheap dress.”

“Well, it’s all we have so you’ll have to improvise but I might have something that could help us a bit.” Richard declared and walked over to his bag, pulling out a necklace.

It wasn’t anything fancy, a simple silver string with two blue jewels, one under the other, the first one bigger and encased in an ornamented silver pad bail. Cara saw him open the clasp and move toward her, ready to put it around her neck but she stopped him before he could even stand behind her. “I can do it on my own, thanks.” She wondered where the necklace was coming from.

“It’s just something I found at the market,” Richard explained offhandedly, and before Cara could ask him when he had had the time to go shopping, he continued jokingly. “Now you can’t say I never gave you anything.”

“If that’s your idea of a gift, I would’ve preferred coins. You have terrible taste.” Cara managed to close the silver clasp and centered the necklace against her chest. “So?” She looked back at Richard.

The man nodded in approval and smiled. “You look good.”

“I look good in everything,” Cara smirked.

Richard chuckled. “Of course, lady Mason.”

“Urgh. I hate you.” Cara said before leaving, ignoring Richard’s laughter.

Cara had been at the palace for half a candlemark and so far, things were going alright. Kahlan was definitely conceited, bragging about some redecorating she had asked her servants to do as she showed her around, but still cordial enough.

After their little tour, Cara followed Kahlan to the private dining room. Although the room was made for more intimate dinners, the table had been set so they were both at each end of the table. Cara was glad for that; it would give her more room to breathe without Kahlan playing footsies again. As soon as Cara sat down, she saw a servant entering the room with their first course. The man looked nervous which meant he hadn’t been confessed yet. Cara didn’t know if Kahlan had invited her purely out of lust or if she had other plans in mind but at least, it was good to see she might not get confessed and die if she said anything wrong. Not that she would let Kahlan take her down without a fight…

The servant set a bowl down in front of Kahlan with a shaky hand and in his haste to do the same with Cara so he could leave the room, he spilled a bit of broth on Kahlan. The man hastily put his tray down to give her a napkin but, in a flash, the Mother Confessor grabbed his wrist tightly.

“How hard is it to do your job correctly?” Kahlan questioned with a dark, cold voice. “I am not asking for much.”

The man whimpered in pain. “Forgive me, Mother Confessor.”

Kahlan twisted his wrist in a direction that it wasn't meant to go in. “Now you’ll have a reason to be bad at your job.” She let go of his hand. “Get out of my sight and send someone else.” She waved him away before cleaning up her dress.

Cara’s eyes went wide at the interaction but she quickly schooled her face. As much as she could appreciate this more commanding side of Kahlan, this gratuitous display of violence from the woman rubbed her the wrong way. She supposed spending time with Richard and his team had realigned her moral compass a bit but she still didn’t think she was the right person to bring Kahlan back from the dark side. “Do you always treat the help that way or is it just for me?”

“Isn’t it how you do things in D’Hara?” Kahlan raised a questioning eyebrow.

“If we killed every domestic that ever did a mistake, we wouldn’t have anyone to serve us anymore.” Cara retorted. This Kahlan seemed to think the D’Haran royalty was full of monsters and although most of them were, it wasn’t the case for the rest of the population. A new maid entered the room and gave Cara her bowl of broth before leaving silently. She stared at her food in suspicion, hoping it wasn’t poisoned but then, she glanced at the mess on the table and realized it was too much of a risk to spike her food with clumsy servants. Besides, from what she had seen so far, she could tell it wasn’t really Kahlan’s style. Slowly, she tried her broth and she had to say, it was the best food she had eaten in a while.

“Well, he’s not dead, is he? Anyway, enough talk about the help,” Kahlan swiftly changed the topic. “Tell me about you, princess.”

“What do you want to know?” Cara asked, opting to play hard to get.

“I don’t know.” Kahlan grabbed her glass and took a sip of her wine. “Are you betrothed? A woman as beautiful as you must have a lot of suitors.”

Cara arched an eyebrow. This Kahlan definitely had game and as disturbing as it was, Cara needed to find the perfect way to dodge the question without turning her down completely. “What about you and Prince Fyren? The rumors say you two are together.” She had to watch Richard have a breakdown about that for a candlemark after Alferon told them so if anything, she could have an answer about that tonight, not that she cared.

“No, he’s more than willing but I prefer someone who is a bit more of a challenge,” Kahlan smirked, practically undressing her with her eyes.

Well, that backfired. Cara honestly didn’t know how to act. She was usually the one flirting and she could flirt back without problem but it was Kahlan in front of her, the Mother Confessor, and Lord Rahl’s mate, it felt wrong to go with it. At the same time, if she didn’t play along, Kahlan would send her away and they wouldn’t get any closer to helping her or Zedd. “You are quite charming, Kahlan.” She drawled her name in a husky voice and noticed how Kahlan’s eyes twinkled. “But I’ve heard Confessors take the soul of the people they bed and I am pretty attached to mine.”

“So even D’Haran royalty knows about this…” Kahlan sighed. “This is something that has always bothered me, how Confessors are seen as virginal or predators taking advantage of people who cannot freely give consent. We are better than the Mord’Sith and yet, as much as people fear them, nobody seems to judge their unbridled sexuality.”

Cara clenched her jaw. This was dangerous territory and she wasn’t sure if it was wise to debate. “I don’t think we can compare the two orders.” She took a sip of her wine to distract herself.

The maid came and took their bowls away before setting platters of different meats and vegetables in front of them.

Once they were alone again, Kahlan continued. “Maybe not but just so you know,” She licked her lower lip. “There are a lot of ways I could pleasure you without you losing your soul…”

Cara choked on her drink and started coughing. “What?” She shook her head, trying to get rid of the images suddenly flashing into her mind. Since when was Kahlan acting like a sex Goddess, it was weird and something she refused to acknowledge.  

“Too forward?” Kahlan chuckled, clearly amused by her reaction. “My apologies, Princess. I feel like I haven’t lived these past couple of years and I want to enjoy my time now that I have my throne back.”

“No, it’s fine,” Cara cleared her throat. “No need to apologize…” She grabbed a chicken leg and tore into the flesh with her teeth, not caring about her manners. It wasn’t like she was trying really hard to act noble anyway.

“Don’t worry, I like to share my bed with willing participants,” Kahlan winked. “We can just eat dinner tonight.” She put some vegetables on her plate and started eating.

“And after that?” Cara needed to know how long she was supposed to play this little game. There was no way to ask Kahlan about her past without sounding suspicious at the moment so it meant she had to see her again.

“It depends. How long are you staying in the Midlands?” Kahlan took a suggestive bite of her food.

Cara bit the inside of her cheek. “It depends…”

“Of?” Kahlan leaned forward, clearly intrigued.

“If I have reasons to stay,” Cara answered with a teasing smile and a hand on her necklace that fell low on her neckline. If that didn’t help her get another meeting with Kahlan, she didn’t know what would.

Kahlan smiled darkly as she stood up from her chair and walked toward Cara like a feline fixed on its prey. She leaned closer and stopped a couple of inches from Cara’s face. “I can give you a few.”

Cara stood still, this was a very very dangerous situation, one she had wanted to avoid all evening. “Really?”

Kahlan smirked and caressed Cara’s hair. Then, she let her hand graze the blonde’s throat. “I…” Her smile fell and she stared at Cara as if frozen in place.

Cara stared back at her, wondering what had caused this sudden change. Did Kahlan know who she was? Did she invite her here to play with her before killing her? She discreetly tried to reach for her agiel, hidden under her dress, but then, she saw Kahlan stumble a bit backward. She stood up and quickly caught her, pulling her closer. “Are you alright?”

Kahlan gave her a smile that seemed forced. “Yes, I should probably slow down on the wine…” She caressed Cara’s arm before pulling away and going back to her seat. She studied Cara for a moment. “You know, I feel like I’ve met you before.”

Cara tried not to frown at the unexpected comment. “I think I would remember you.”

“Perhaps you’re right.” Kahlan stared at her for a little while longer before smiling again. “I think I should get some rest.” She stated, standing up. “Are you free on Freya's day?”

“I have to check with Ri…” Cara stopped herself. “My brother, Roderick.” She had hoped to obtain more information but the switch in Kahlan’s behavior let her know that it wasn’t going to happen.

“I hope he won’t keep you away from me then,” Kahlan motioned at Cara to stand and join her. “We could have lunch in the palace’s garden.”

Cara fought back a victorious smile, that sounded more like the Kahlan she knew. “Do you want to court me in the shades of the pines?” She joked as she stood next to Kahlan.

Kahlan laughed lightly. “Only if you ask nicely, princess.” She offered her arm to lead Cara out of the dining room.

Cara locked arms with her. “Then I shall see you soon.”

Kahlan pulled away as they reached the hallway. “My guards will escort you to the entrance.” She took Cara’s hand and kissed it before kissing the inside of her wrist. “Good night, princess.”

Cara watched Kahlan walking up the hallway before letting out a long sigh. What had she gotten herself into? She needed to see Richard and fast…

Sneaking between the shadows of the city at night wasn’t a hard thing to do, especially for Cara that could move as swiftly as a ghost when the occasion called for it, even in a dress. She was finally making her way between the overgrown weeds of the outskirts of the city and after making sure nobody was following her, she took one final turn to the crypt where Richard was supposed to meet her.

Cara took a deep breath and steadied herself before entering, this incoming conversation was going to be long and painful and she couldn’t do anything to avoid it. Richard was surely going to ask how it went, those words would probably be the first ones to leave his lips and Cara was already expecting him to look crestfallen once she would say Kahlan was all over her. Perhaps she should keep it succinct, and concise.

She kept thinking about Kahlan’s moment of dizziness. It was weird to say the least, for a single moment there, Cara could have sworn she saw recognition in the other woman’s eyes, for a fleeting instant, it seemed like a familiar look had settled on Kahlan’s features but it had gone as quickly as it had come and the only thing the blonde could see in Kahlan’s eyes afterward was confusion. Sincere and honest confusion. Maybe her presence was helping after all but she doubted she would be able to play the princess for much longer. She guessed she would have to hurry things up and really try to find a way to drop hints without being too obvious. And perhaps taking a more permanent room at the Inn wasn’t a half-bad idea either, just in case Kahlan decided to send a spy to keep an eye on her and her actions.

Once inside, Cara told Richard that nothing much had happened, that they talked but Kahlan called off the dinner at some point because she felt unwell. She continued by saying Kahlan wasn’t with the prince, since she already knew Richard wanted to ask. Cara saw a glimmer of hope entering his eyes and she knew she wouldn’t like his next question and when he asked if Kahlan had inquired about him, Cara’s suspicions got confirmed. She shook her head and told him that she hadn’t and saw the melancholic look on his face appear once more.

Cara wanted to tell him that he had no reason to look so sad, after all Kahlan didn’t remember anyone and had barely met ‘Roderick’ so why would she ask about him? But if she spoke up, he would probably start ranting about true love and how it hurt to see Kahlan’s indifference toward him. Since she definitely wasn’t in the mood to hear all that, she just kept her thoughts to herself and left the silence between them undisturbed.

When Cara arrived at the palace on Freya’s day, she saw a couple of guards escorting an angry man outside of the gates. She frowned, apparently not everyone took the Mother Confessor’s rulings kindly these days but there was nothing she could do about it at the moment. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind, she had a date to get to.

Soon after, Kahlan and Cara found themselves walking in the garden. The blonde had often heard from Kahlan herself about the spectacular and remarkable gardens of the Confessor’s palace but she hadn’t really given it much thought until now. It wasn’t like she was swooning at the sight of flowers but she had to admit, to herself at least, that it was indeed a very nice place.

There was so much green around her, paths surrounded with small bushes and serving as hallways between the patches of fresh grass everywhere, the slender weeping willows, the sturdy oaks, and the many young white birches growing alongside roses of all colors, blue irises and bright, orange tulips and yellow daffodils, and many other flowers she had no idea how they were called. Cara could even see numerous statues, human and animal figures chiseled from white or black marble. With each step they took, Cara could smell the sweet aroma of honeysuckles mixed with soft jasmine in the air. 

“Where are you staying, princess?” Kahlan questioned as she walked next to Cara.

“I have a room in one of your Inns,” Cara said, glad to have listened to her intuition the night before. She lifted her dress slightly - light blue this time, which was a small improvement - to walk on the grass.

“All other guests have left the palace; I’d be more than happy to have a room prepared for you if you’d like.” Kahlan tried to make it sound like a question but they both knew it was an offer the blonde could not refuse, not easily at least.

“To lure me into your bed more easily?” Cara asked in a teasing voice.

“I just like having the object of my interest close,” Kahlan replied, her voice low and her eyes roaming over Cara’s form.

“What about my… brother?” Saying the word always tasted bad in Cara’s mouth, even though Richard was a relatively good man, she was glad they weren’t actually related. If anything, it made her miss her sister and she really didn’t need to think about that right now.

“I have nothing against your brother but he seems interested in me and I’m not. We’ll see… Just think about it.” Kahlan added as they finally arrived at a spot with a picnic already set and waiting for them to enjoy.

Living in the palace would allow Cara to keep an eye on Kahlan but it would also make it harder for her and Richard to discuss their constantly changing plan. She would also have to act like a princess all the time and she was already feeling so tired of that. Therefore, if she moved to the palace, Richard would have to come as well so it could trigger Kahlan’s memory.

Cara shook her head to focus on the present. They were right under one of the older oaks, where the leaves could protect them from the heavy sun, and in front of her was a large blue blanket and an array of foods sprawled before them. Cara had to admit, she could get used to eating like this instead of foraging for berries in the forest or eating salty dry meat around their usual campfires. Hunting often required time and they usually used most of theirs to keep moving through the lands. But here, now, she wanted to taste everything. There were at least four types of cheese and meat in different shades of red, there were cherries that made her mouth water, and various small plates with green and black olives. There was a freshly baked loaf of bread as well, she could smell it even before they had sat down and she could also see some black grapes, terrine, and some peaches already cut and ready for them to enjoy.

Cara sat on the grass, smoothing her dress out carefully and folding her legs beneath her just like she had seen Kahlan do. She would feel better sitting cross-legged or leaning again the tree but she needed to keep up appearances. Kahlan might not be herself but she wasn’t a fool and Cara knew she would realize eventually that she wasn’t a royal, it was just better if it could happen later rather than sooner, especially if the Mother Confessor didn’t have her memory back by then. She discreetly studied Kahlan who didn’t seem in any rush to start a conversation, too busy pouring wine into their glasses.

It was troubling, Kahlan was always the one starting conversations and Cara didn’t know what to do, especially since she was here to talk to her in hope that something would trigger her memory. She tried to think about the things Richard had told her about Kahlan, what she liked to do, what she enjoyed and what made her squeamish, what could always make her smile and laugh but it all felt wrong, like it was for a woman other than the one in front of her. Then, she remembered something Kahlan had said during their dinner and decided to start with that. “I keep thinking about something you said the last time we met, about how you feel like you haven’t lived these past two years, what happened?” The question could help her figure out how bad Kahlan’s amnesia was.

Kahlan arched an eyebrow. “Aren’t you curious, princess?”

“Are you the only one allowed to ask questions?” Cara answered back with a raised eyebrow.

“No,” Kahlan chuckled. “But I’d rather not talk about that. Besides, it’s nothing to worry your pretty head about.”

Cara could tell she wouldn’t get more from Kahlan after that, so she let the Mother Confessor take the lead in the conversation. As much as Cara tried to keep the banter and flirting to a minimum, Kahlan was making it very hard for her. It wasn’t anything overly romantic, far from it actually, that was why Cara had no problem following her lead. She quickly realized that this version of Kahlan was bringing out the side of her that she had considered tamed since she had started traveling with them. The side that enjoyed the easy taunting and ribbing, the more direct sexual hints that Kahlan made about getting her in her bed eventually, and the playful teasing that Cara wasn’t even doing on purpose. It almost felt like a challenge but Cara knew she needed to keep herself in check, this was a slippery slope she was treading on.

Kahlan took a small piece of bread and spread some of the rabbit terrine on it before bringing the food up to Cara’s lips so she could take a bite. As much as the blonde thought it was ridiculous, she went along with it and closed her lips around the bite, seeing a satisfied smile appear on Kahlan’s face. The truth was that whatever Kahlan had just fed her was delicious.

“What is it?” Cara asked, eyeing curiously the rest of the small plate from where Kahlan had scooped it.

“It’s rabbit terrine, don’t you have that in D’Hara?” Kahlan asked, slightly surprised.

“No, but I’m usually the one hunting rabbits, not the one preparing them,” Cara commented offhandedly. Just when she closed her mouth, she saw Kahlan’s eyes turn blurry and her hands shake for a moment. She wondered if the other woman had just remembered something because Kahlan’s reaction was pretty much identical to the one she had had the day before. Cara looked around, wondering what could have triggered it but it was hard to tell.

Kahlan quickly shook her head and seemed to ignore the sensation. “Would you like to do something again?” She questioned after clearing her throat. “Tomorrow perhaps?”

“If I didn’t know better, I would say the Mother Confessor can’t be apart from me already.” The blonde joked.

Kahlan gave her a small smile before locking eyes with her. “You asked for a reason to stay, I’m merely trying to show you what I could give you if you do.”

Cara looked away and grabbed her drink to stop the rush of goosebumps climbing up her arms.

Just like the day before, Cara visited Kahlan at the palace. They had planned to go hunting but instead, the Mother Confessor took her for a stroll through the market. She could tell there was a reason for that change of plan but Kahlan refused to explain herself and Cara had no choice but to follow. She hated following people blindly and with that Kahlan, she wasn’t even sure she wouldn’t be led into a trap.

At first, Cara couldn’t detect anything suspicious in Kahlan’s behavior, they were indeed walking down the market, checking stalls, and talking to vendors. It was boring and the fact that she had to constantly lift the bottom of her royal yellow dress so it wouldn’t get in the way was annoying but she had worse days. Then, Kahlan told her she had to visit a particular shop, and the look on the woman’s face as she said it made Cara worry. It didn’t look like it was going to be a friendly visit.

As they reached the store, Kahlan finally explained what was going on. “I suspect this man of selling goods at higher prices than I set. This would be a clear violation of my new economic law so I need to have a word with him.”

“Why did you bring me with you?” Cara inquired. She couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing yet.

“I heard your father was quite good at extracting information,” Kahlan explained innocently. “I thought you could give me some advice.”

Cara remembered Alferon saying something about giving fake intel about her and Roderick to someone at the palace so it meant Kahlan had done her research. Maybe that explained why Kahlan had said her treatment of the help was bad during their last dinner. No matter the reason, her statement didn’t seem offhanded this time, it felt like a test, like Kahlan wanted to see where she stood. “I didn’t know the Mother Confessor had time to study my family’s history.”

“Since my bed is cold and empty, I tend to do some light reading at night.” Kahlan sent her a pointed look before smirking. “But that could change soon.” She gave her one last appreciative look before stepping into the shop.

“Mother Confessor, welcome!” The merchant greeted her with the fakest smile Cara had ever seen.

Cara wasn’t one to feel bad for people but it was obvious by now that the joy of having Kahlan back had turned into dread for the inhabitants of the city. They clearly all feared her now and after what she had witnessed so far, she couldn’t blame them.

“Odhran,” Kahlan smiled darkly. “Do you know why I’m here?”

“I…” Odhran laughed nervously. “No, Mother Confessor.”

Kahlan tilted her head. “Please, do not waste my time. I could be giving the princess my full attention right now but instead, I have to be here.”

“I’m sorry, my lady,” Odhran glanced at Cara, his fingers anxiously drumming on the counter. “But I do not know…”

Kahlan interrupted him with a slam of her hand on the counter. “Are you stealing from me, Odhran?” She asked straightforwardly.

“Of course not!” The merchant shook his head vehemently.

Cara winced internally. She might not be a Confessor, but she could tell the man was lying and this Kahlan wasn’t going to take it kindly.

Kahlan smiled again, this time threateningly. With a swift motion, she pulled out her dagger and stabbed the man’s hand, pinning it to the counter. “Are you lying to a Confessor?”

The man screamed in pain. “Please, I…”

“Do you know what we do to thieves, Odhran?” Kahlan questioned as she leaned closer, her hand still on the dagger, twisting it.

That was enough for Cara. The stabbing might have taken her by surprise but she just couldn’t let Kalhan cut that man’s hand in front of her and do nothing. It wasn’t because of her own principles, she had done worse, seen worse but Kahlan was the initiator here and it felt wrong. Kahlan wasn’t cruel, she had always tried to avoid unnecessary suffering and often preached for mercy. This Kahlan however, seemed to enjoy violence and if Cara had to be the voice of reason for once, then so be it. The real Kahlan shouldn’t have to carry the blame of that action if Cara could help it. “I think he got the message.” She reached for the dagger to put it out but Kahlan refused to move so she wrapped her hand around hers.

Kahlan stared her down. “I might appreciate your company, princess, but make no mistake, you have no power here.”

Cara locked eyes with her and she could tell it wouldn’t take much for things to go downhill. She needed to think and fast. She was now standing really close to Kahlan and their faces were barely an inch away. On an impulse, she leaned on and kissed the corner of Kahlan’s mouth. “I will move to the palace if it pleases you, but I’m not visiting to have the same atmosphere that I have at home.” She pulled her hand away from Kahlan’s to show that the woman was the one in control. “So please,” She forced her voice to be soft. She hated how it sounded like, as if she was pleading. “I am asking, respectfully, Mother Confessor, to cut down on the murderous impulse.”

Kahlan glanced at Cara’s lips before a slow grin appeared on her face. “Very well, princess.” She pulled the dagger out of the merchant’s hand without looking at him. “I’ll see what I can do to make your stay more comfortable.” She tore her eyes away from Cara to focus on Odhran who was now cradling his bleeding hand. “You should thank the princess, she allowed you to keep your hand today.” She gave him a cold smile. “I expect the money you took to be back by tomorrow. And if you ever cross me again, the princess won’t be there to stop me. There are laws and they must be observed. Understood?”

“Yes, Mother Confessor.” Odhran nodded several times. “Thank you.”

 “Now,” Kahlan turned to Cara with a real smile. “Let’s go hunting, princess.” She locked arms with Cara and led her out of the shop as if nothing had happened.

Cara took a deep breath before entering their room at the inn. She was about to have a conversation that she once again didn’t look forward to. She already knew Richard wouldn’t be pleased by what she was about to say and she half expected him to have a tantrum about it.

“Cara!” Richard exclaimed as he saw her enter. “I was starting to worry.” A few strands of his blond hair fell in front of his eyes. He had decided to keep his cover just in case and it meant keeping his new hair color.

“I’m fine, Kahlan was just being…” Cara trailed off, she didn’t even know what to tell Richard about his mate’s behavior this afternoon and maybe it was best not to tell him at all. “Kahlan offered me a room at the palace.”

“That’s good!” Richard smiled. “It means you’re starting to get her trust.” He glanced at his open bag on the bed. “Give me a moment to pack and we can go.”

“Uh, you’re not invited…” Cara said tentatively. She didn’t know why she was coddling him but he was still her Lord and a part of her felt like she had to protect him.

Richard looked at her with a frown. “Did you tell her you wanted me there with you?”

“Of course I did!” Cara put a hand on her hip and glared at him for his barely hidden accusation. “She said she has no interest in you.” She saw his shoulders sag and braced herself for a sad rant but instead, he glared back at her.

“Are you even trying to bring Kahlan’s memory back or are you just enjoying living in a palace again?” Richard asked, his tone reproachful. “Because I saw you at the market and you two seemed quite cozy.”

“Are you serious, Richard?” Cara snapped in disbelief. “You asked me to do this and now you’re blaming me for trying to help?” She had expected him to take the news poorly but not to throw accusations so easily.

“I’m sorry.” Richard deflated. “I know you’re trying…” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I just feel useless…” He sat on the bed with another defeated sigh. He stayed silent for a short moment then nodded resolutely to himself. “I should see her; I need to make her see reason. If I talk to her alone, maybe she could remember what we’ve been through. Maybe…” He looked at Cara. “Maybe you can’t get through to her because you’re not her friend.” His eyes went wide as he realized what he had just said. “I mean…”

Cara held her hand up to stop his lame attempt at backpaddling. “That’s exactly what I said before and yet, you didn’t seem to have a problem until now.” She could see he was slowly letting his jealousy plague his mind but as much as she respected the Lord Rahl, it wasn’t her fault and she refused to be blamed for it. “I don’t think Kahlan is…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Richard interrupted her. “I’ll help you bring your stuff to the palace and I’ll try to talk to her then.”

Cara bit back her retort and instead, she replied with a hint of sarcasm, “As you wish, Lord Rahl.”

As soon as Cara and Richard arrived at the palace, the guards led them to Kahlan’s office. Cara had never been able to go anywhere around the place without an escort so far and she hoped it would change soon or her little sojourn was going to be even more of a torture and not the good kind.

Kahlan was sitting at her desk, reading something, but she looked up with a smile when Cara entered the room. “Cara!” Her smile fell slightly when she saw Richard. “Prince Roderick, I didn’t expect your visit…” She stood up and moved closer to them.

“Forgive me, Mother Confessor,” Richard bowed. “But I wanted to make sure my sister would be safe here.” He smiled charmingly. “Would you mind if I have a quick word with you in private?”

Kahlan looked at him from head to toe. “I don’t think it is necessary, good sir. Your sister is of age, I think she can take care of herself and if you have something to say, you can say it in front of her.” She turned to Cara and winked at her. “Besides, she will be with me, I’ll keep her safe and warm.”

Richard turned red at the comment. He cleared his throat and in a desperate attempt to convince Kahlan, he grabbed her hand. “Please…”

Kahlan gasped and snatched her hand away as if she had been burned. “I…”

Cara studied her reaction. She could recognize the telltales of Kahlan getting hit by a memory by now so she held her breath, hoping that, despite her doubts, Richard’s idea had worked. However, Kahlan didn’t smile and she didn’t rush to embrace him. Instead, her face quickly turned somber.

“Have we met before the ball?” Kahlan asked sharply. “I seem to remember you from somewhere… My memory is a bit fuzzy lately but, is that why you’re here?”

“Yes, we’re acquainted,” Richard answered truthfully, knowing he needed to avoid lying to her. “That’s why I came to the ball and I had hoped…”

“I’m going to stop you right there, prince.” Kahlan held her hand up with a glare. “I have no interest in you so you should really leave.” She let her words sink. “And if you want to keep that hand, don’t ever touch me again.”

Cara glanced between the couple, wondering if she should step in. The dejected look on Richard’s face was obvious but she decided not to comment. After all, she had warned him that it wasn’t a good idea, and as usual, he had ignored her warnings. Richard glanced at Cara before leaving the room and she nodded back at him, trying to let him know that she would continue her mission no matter what.

Once it was just the two of them, Kahlan’s smile came back. “So princess, I asked my maids to prepare the chambers closest to mine, you’re going to love the view.”

Cara held back a groan and as Kahlan locked her arm with hers to show her to her new room, she wished for the ground to swallow her up…

Early the next day, Cara heard a knock on her door. A maid was there to accompany her to the private dining room so she could have breakfast with Kahlan. It was the perfect opportunity to ask the Mother Confessor what she was supposed to do with her time at the palace but the woman seemed to have her own questions planned already.

Cara had barely sat down when Kahlan asked her about Richard, well Roderick, if she was close to her brother and if he had plans for the future of his kingdom. Then, Kahlan moved on to their ‘father’, if the man knew his daughter was staying in Aydindril of her own free will because she didn’t want him to send his army to save his little girl. Cara managed to answer convincingly enough but quickly tried to steer the conversation to a safer topic.

Thankfully, breakfast didn’t drag on. Kahlan was expected in the petition room so she quickly finished her tea and stood up. Before Cara could ask what she was supposed to do, Kahlan let her know that her advisor had a few questions about the state of D’hara and was hoping Cara would answer them.

Cara spent most of her morning with the advisor who was clearly confessed. She questioned him in return, trying to gauge the mood in the palace and in Aydindril but the man only answered a couple of questions before dismissing her.

She spent the rest of the day meeting staff members who would serve her and guards who made sure she knew where she wasn’t welcome.

Cara barely saw Kahlan the next day but they met for dinner. For some reason, Kahlan was far from being her usual talkative self, forcing Cara to make small talk, something she hated and was obviously very bad at, but she tried nonetheless. The silence engulfing them was uncomfortable and stifling, Kahlan usually loved filling it with countless words and Cara didn’t like the change in their dynamic.

Ever since Richard had talked to Kahlan, Cara could see her growing more and more suspicious and this was exactly why Cara had warned him not to do it, a warning that had evidently fallen on deaf ears.

After another moment of silence, Cara asked the woman what was wrong but it was pointless. Kahlan simply said that she felt like she was remembering someone else’s memories, someone who looked exactly like her but wasn’t. When the blonde tried to question her further, Kahlan refused to answer and the heavy silence settled once more.

Thankfully, dinner was a short affair and Cara quickly found herself exiting the dining room with Kahlan by her side. They walked the same way they dined, quietly, but it didn’t last long. Suddenly, angry yells echoed through the hallway and they both shifted their eyes to the man running toward them with a hatchet in his right hand. For Cara, time seemed to slow down and stretch. She saw the man throwing the weapon at Kahlan, the hatchet gliding through the air and she knew it was aimed right at Kahlan’s chest so without thinking, she pushed the other woman out of the way and barely escaped the blade herself. The hatchet hit the wall behind them with a loud clang and fell to the floor, Kahlan was still on the ground as the man ran toward her with a knife in his hand.

The blonde ducked and avoided the blow. She punched him with her left fist and he stumbled back, allowing her to kick the knife out of his grip. She grabbed the man by the side of his lapels and bashed his head against the wall, leaving a bloody stain on the stone as his body slumped to the ground, unconscious. His nose was broken and a river of blood was cascading down his chin but Cara could still recognize him, he was the man she had seen on the day of her picnic with Kahlan, that one who had been dragged out of the petition room by two guards. She turned around to focus on Kahlan. “Are you okay?” She quickly asked as she extended her hand to help her stand up.

“You saved my life.” Kahlan breathed out, still surprised by the blonde’s actions.

“It’s nothing.” Cara tried to brush it off but Kahlan looked at her curiously and with an even greater dose of suspicion.

Kahlan shook her head. “Not for a princess.” She took a step back. “And your fighting style… How…” She tried to say something but at that moment, the hallway got swarmed with guards, all rushing to make sure the Mother Confessor was unharmed and effectively interrupting both women. Kahlan ordered them to take the man to the cells so she could deal with him later. However, as she tried to take another step, she felt dizzy and faltered, reaching out toward the nearest wall to steady herself.

Cara acted without thinking again and caught Kahlan in her arms. “You need a rest.” She felt Kahlan attempting to fight her embrace a bit, not wanting to show any sign of weakness in front of the guards but Cara refused to let go until she was sure the woman could stand on her own.

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” Kahlan assured her. “I just need to take care of that man first.”

“He’s on his way to a cell, he’s not going anywhere.” Cara insisted and nudged Kahlan toward the part of the palace where her chambers were.

Walking down the empty hallways - except for the occasional guard that nodded at them - with her arm wrapped around Kahlan’s middle made Cara even more nervous about the silence between them. They kept walking slowly and it wasn’t until they reached Kahlan’s chambers that the Mother Confessor finally spoke again.

“You had no particular reason to protect me tonight,” Kahlan said as she studied her.

For a moment, Cara wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, she was usually the one who didn’t trust anyone, not Kahlan, but all thoughts evaporated from her mind when she felt soft lips kissing her cheek.

“Thank you.” Kahlan gave her a small smile before opening the door to her chambers, leaving a stunned Cara in the hallway.

Cara was in her chambers, stuck there after the officer in charge of the Home Guards had decided to impose a lockdown so they could search the whole palace for other possible threats. She didn’t know where Kahlan was but she couldn’t really go look for her.

Now that she was staying at the palace, she wanted to find a way to visit Zedd in his cell and hoped she would get the opportunity soon. She still had an escort of two guards following her everywhere she went and she didn’t think it would change anytime soon after the attack that had taken place in the evening. Still, after preventing Kahlan from getting hurt, she had hopefully earned a bit of trust from the Mother Confessor. With a sigh, she lay down on her bed and listened to the comings and goings of the guards in the hallways.

Cara didn’t remember falling asleep but she woke up to the sound of someone entering her room. She blinked and tried to reach for her agiel but the intruder was too fast and soon, she found herself pinned to the bed with Kahlan straddling her hips and a dagger under her throat. She was glad the curtains were open so she could see the woman’s face in the light of the moon. Now that she knew it was Kahlan, Cara forced herself to relax. “This is not the kind of wake-up I had imagined but if you’re into that, maybe we can discuss it.”

“What I want to talk about is why I saw you in my dream, wearing Mord’Sith leather and pushing me out of the way of an arrow like you did with that hatchet this evening. Who are you? Why are you here? What are you after?” Kahlan fired questions.

“If I were indeed a Mord’Sith, you should know a dagger won’t scare me.” Cara lowered her head so the blade could scratch her skin. Even if the situation was serious, she couldn’t let Kahlan feel like she had the upper hand.

“Then how do you feel about me confessing you right now?” Kahlan replaced the dagger with her hand and wrapped it tightly around Cara’s neck.

“Kahlan, please.” Cara put her hand on top of Kahlan’s and gently squeezed it. Dying by confession was her least favorite way to go so she hoped that, with that gesture, she could call out to a part of Kahlan that the woman on top of her had forgotten. Their Kahlan was very tactile with people, even with her, and as much as it usually annoyed her, the familiarity of the gesture might help.

“Are you going to beg for your life?” Kahlan smirked. “Didn’t take you for the type.”

Cara could tell she wasn’t faring well so she tried another approach. “You said you were experiencing flashes of someone else’s memories, she’s not someone else, she’s you, another version of you. She and I might not always see eye to eye but she wouldn’t appreciate you killing me.” Or at least not completely but it wasn’t the time to bring up old grudges.

Kahlan leaned really close to Cara’s face and looked into her eyes. “So that’s why I cannot read you. I was so intrigued and wanted to know why but now it makes sense.”

“And here I thought it was my dazzling personality that drew you to me,” Cara answered with a cocky smile.

“I know your kind like to be arrogant, but I would behave if I were you,” Kahlan warned but slightly relaxed her hold on Cara’s neck. “I don’t know if you’re telling the truth but that would explain those flashes…” She pulled back a bit and studied Cara for a moment. “Who are you to her? The… other Kahlan...”

“It’s…” Cara didn’t know what they were to each other. “Complicated.”

“A Mord’Sith and a Confessor wouldn’t be friends and yet, here you are, risking your life for her… for me.” Kahlan pointed out. “Who are you working for? Your brother? If that’s really who he is.”

Cara shook her head. “Thankfully, we are not related.”  

“Tell me what you know and I might let you live.” Kahlan squeezed Cara’s throat tighter once more.

Cara pondered her options but as she stared into Kahlan’s eyes, she realized she had no choice. Unlike in Stowecroft, this version of the Mother Confessor wouldn’t hesitate to kill her and even if she fought back, she was pretty sure one of them wouldn’t make it out alive. Besides, as much as she hated to admit it, she didn’t want to hurt Kahlan, no matter if she was herself or not. With a sigh, she said. “I travel with the Seeker and I help him in his quest with Zedd and well, you...”

“The wizard said something similar but he didn’t mention you…” Kahlan frowned. “What else?”

“We found bodies in the forest with the seal of Aydindril and after some research, we learned that Prince Fyren had taken control of the city,” Cara explained. “You traveled to the palace to stop him but the amulet you used cracked and now, well, you’re this… unhinged version of the Kahlan we know.” She didn’t know what else to say but her mouth spoke on its own to add. “I’m just here to help.”

Kahlan raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know what the Kahlan you know was like, but I have no interest in going back to a woman who let her people down to follow that stupid, not brother of yours.”

“We have a problem then, because everyone wants her back and I don’t like to fail,” Cara stated.

“I could just kill you.” Kahlan tilted her head. “Problem solved.”

“You could, but I don’t think you will,” Cara answered quietly. She still had her hand on top of Kahlan’s so she caressed it with her thumb in a last attempt to trigger something in Kahlan’s mind.

They stared at each other until Kahlan groaned. “For some reason, your Kahlan seems to care about you, it’s a faint memory but it’s there…” She shook her head. “I need time to think.” She gave one last squeeze to Cara’s neck and let go. “If you care about your Kahlan, I advise you not to leave this room until I come up with a decision regarding your fate. At least, if you don’t want anything to happen to this body.” She lifted her dagger and dragged it along her own chest, drawing a bit of blood. “You’ve been warned, Mord’Sith.” She winked and moved away from Cara before leaving the room.

Cara let out a long, shaky breath, they were in trouble…

Chapter Text

In the morning, Cara heard a knock on her door before a maid entered with a tray full of food and clothes under her arm. She was surprised to see Kahlan wasn’t letting her starve just to make her point. She hadn’t gone back to sleep after Kahlan’s visit, too worried the Mother Confessor would barge into her chambers to finish what she had started.

After setting her breakfast down on the table, the maid handed Cara a note. It was from Kahlan and it was informing her that she was still not allowed to leave her room but would get a visit from her by the end of the day. Kahlan added that she sent her clothes since there was no need for her to keep pretending to be a princess.

Cara spent most of her day pacing the floor, feeling like a caged animal. She knew the guards posted at her door wouldn’t be able to stop her but the threat Kahlan had made about putting herself in danger - even though Cara thought that woman loved herself too much to do anything bad - kept her in place. Finally, in the middle of the afternoon, Kahlan stepped into her room without bothering to knock.

“About time!” Cara exclaimed in exasperation as she jumped out of bed.

“You are not an important guest anymore; you are a problem among many others,” Kahlan stated, scanning the room before looking at Cara. “So, I will see you when I please.”

Cara raised an eyebrow. She had half expected Kahlan to find a stupid law to sentence her to death but clearly, this Mother Confessor was full of surprises. “Does it mean I’m staying?”

“For now.” Kahlan nodded. “I need someone to make sense of my memories and tell me more about what happened these past couple of years.”

“I think you should ask Zedd,” Cara advised. She didn’t know why everyone thought she was the best suited for the task when she was the one who knew Kahlan the least. “He knows you more than I do or maybe you could let Ri…”

“I don’t want to give the wizard a chance to use his magic against me,” Kahlan cut her off. “And I do not trust the Seeker so you’ll have to do. At least with a Mord’Sith, I know what to expect.” She took a few steps forward so she could stand in front of Cara and reached out to let her index finger slowly slide down the blonde’s neck. “I warned you last night but it’s worth repeating that if you don’t behave, I will go through with Zeddicus’ sentencing, and then, I’ll arrest the Seeker for plotting against me.”

“Yes, you made that very clear,” Cara answered through gritted teeth. She couldn’t help but think this cutthroat Kahlan would have made a wonderful Mord’Sith.

“Good girl,” Kahlan smirked before taking a step backward. “Now, I have a few questions.” She pointed at one of the seats in front of the fireplace. “Sit.” She commanded.

“If you think you can order me around, you’re mistaken.” Cara crossed her arms and stood her ground.

Kahlan chuckled. “I appreciate your bravery but you’re wasting your time, you will obey me, sooner or later.” She walked to the chair on the left and sat down, pointedly looking at the other to convince Cara to do the same. When Cara didn’t move, she shook her head in amusement. “Suit yourself. Is Cara your real name?”

“Yes,” Cara replied with a clipped tone. She glanced at the door and then back at Kahlan, it didn’t look like she could escape this interrogation.

“Good,” Kahlan smiled, seemingly pleased by the answer. “Why is a Mord’Sith working for the Seeker?”

Cara didn’t want to tell her that Richard was the new Lord Rahl. This Kahlan was too black and white when it came to justice and she might want to use Richard to get reparation for the war or even take control of D’Hara. It might help Kahlan remember too but Cara wasn’t willing to take the risk. “I owe him so I decided to stick around.” She wouldn’t have minded dying by Kahlan’s hand in Stowecroft, she would have welcomed it even after learning the truth about her father but the Confessor had let her live. She wasn’t just staying with her companions because Richard was the Lord Rahl, but also because she was still trying to figure out what to do with that second chance, something her family could have been proud of.

Kahlan arched an eyebrow in surprise. “It doesn’t sound like something a Mord’Sith would do.”

“I’m not just any Mord’Sith.” Cara shrugged.

“So it seems…” Kahlan studied her. “Why aren’t you with your sisters? Even if your master is dead, you are not known to be lone wolves.”

“Because,” Cara clenched her jaw at the unpleasant reminder. “I was cast out.” She could lie but the point of all this was to trigger Kahlan’s memories.

A smile slowly made its way to the corner of Kahlan’s mouth. “Now, that is interesting. Tell me more.”

Cara clicked her tongue. “I don’t think I know you enough for that.”

“Shame.” Kahlan laughed as she stood up. “I have matters to attend to but since you don’t strike me as the pillow talk type, we’ll have dinner tonight, and I expect you to answer my other questions. Enjoy your day… princess.”

In the evening, Cara reluctantly joined Kahlan for dinner. Even if the Mother Confessor had made it clear that she wanted answers, Cara tried to give her as little as she could while still saying enough to satisfy Kahlan’s curiosity. Through gritted teeth, she told Kahlan how she had helped her and Richard get rid of Darken Rahl and how her sisters had eventually found out, leaving her for dead at the bottom of a cliff.  

Kahlan had been closed off since Cara entered the dining room but this revelation earned Cara a small, appreciative smile. The Mother Confessor tried to ask more questions after that but thankfully, an advisor interrupted them to request Kahlan’s presence. 

Cara finished her dinner alone, wondering how she was going to get out of this predicament.

Cara only learned the next day why Kahlan had left their dinner early and as she should have expected, it wasn’t for a good reason. She had been summoned to the petition room and when she entered the room, Richard was there.

Apparently, a public announcement had been made the day before, asking the inhabitants to bring the Seeker to the Mother Confessor or else there would be consequences. Richard had decided to come on his own volition to prevent the population from suffering repercussions.

“Cara, are you okay?” Richard asked as soon as he saw her.

Seeing Richard’s hair with its original color instantly raised alarm bells in Cara’s mind but she had to admit, blonde was certainly not his color and she was glad to see him back to normal. She nodded to answer his question then turned to Kahlan. “What’s going on?”

Kahlan ignored her question and locked eyes with Richard. “I know who you are now, Seeker. I don’t know what your plan was by sending the Mord’Sith here but it failed. The wizard said you were my mate but I have no memory of it. It doesn’t matter anyway because I have no interest in turning back into that pathetic little girl who was in love with you.”

“Don’t say that, our love is pure and true,” Richard took a step closer to Kahlan’s throne but her dark look made him back off. “You just need to remember what we have.” His voice was almost pleading.

“Had.” Kahlan corrected. “I might not remember, but I know she abandoned a kingdom for you, no man is worth that much.”

“But…” Richard frowned. “You might have joined me out of duty but you chose to stay with me in the end, to close the rift and save the world, I…”

“A rift you had your part in creating.” Kahlan cut him off.

“I couldn’t have known,” Richard defended himself. “And I wasn’t the one who decreed a Confessor should accompany the true Seeker.”

“Do not try to teach me the laws of these lands, boy, I know them better than you do. As the Mother Confessor, this rule doesn’t apply to me anymore, and let’s be honest…” Kahlan sneered. “You’re not worth following either.”

Cara saw the hurt on Richard’s face and decided to join the conversation before it turned into a love quarrel that she had no interest in. “Is there a point to this meeting?”

“Yes, as I was just about to say before you interrupted me,” Kahlan shot her a warning glance before focusing back on Richard. “My place is here in Aydindril. I am the leader of the Midlands, the most powerful woman of this lands and I am not the Seeker’s love-struck maiden.” She stood up. “Go back to your quest, Seeker, it’s your mission to save the world not mine, so just… stop wasting my time.”

Richard stared back at her, pondering his options. He quickly seemed to realize that it was not an argument he could win. “Let Cara and Zedd go and I’ll leave you be.” He moved next to Cara and rested his hand on her shoulder.

Cara thought it was a wise choice. They should focus on finding the stone of tears and only then help Kahlan. With the new level of security around the palace, the Mother Confessor should be safe until they came back. “Glad you’re finally seeing reason.” She murmured.

“I am not giving up on her,” Richard replied quietly with a slight shake of his head. “I’m just trying to get you out of here.”

“Did I give you leave to talk to her, Seeker?” Kahlan questioned, motioning for Cara to come and stand next to her.

Cara rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, refusing to move.

“She is my friend.” Richard objected while still taking a step to the side.

“Well, that’s too bad because she is staying with me, just like the wizard,” Kahlan stated with a mighty smile. “If I let the wizard go, you two could plot something to cause my demise and I cannot allow that.”

“I swear to you,” Richard started before being interrupted.

Kahlan held her hand up to stop him. “Your word means nothing to me.”

“I am not leaving Aydindril without them.” Richard declared with a firm voice.

Kahlan clicked her tongue. “Then you better stay out of my way or you will join Zeddicus in a cell. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes, Mother Confessor.” Richard bowed his head slightly.

“You can go now.” Kahlan waved him away.

Cara saw Richard cast one last worried look at her before leaving the room. He might not have given up on Kahlan but he was certainly prompt to leave her behind. He was the Lord Rahl and she was his tool after all, what else could she expect? She sighed. She guessed she was on her own now…

The next day, when Cara tried to leave her chambers, the two guards in front of her door stepped in front of her and ordered her back inside. It took all her willpower not to hurt them and leave their bodies in front of Kahlan’s chambers on her way out but she knew they were just puppets following their mistress’ orders. Only the maid was allowed in her room to bring her food and it made Cara feel like a punished child.

A little after sunrise on the following day, the maid brought Cara breakfast and a fresh set of clothes - brown pants and a beige shirt - before informing her that the Mother Confessor was waiting for her in the petition room once she was done.

Half a candlemark later, Cara found herself walking down the long corridors of the palace. It felt good to stretch her legs properly and even if it was just to meet Kahlan in the petition room, Cara enjoyed the feeling of being able to walk around the palace once more.

Cara entered the petition room, her steps more confident now that she was wearing something else than a dress. She realized she had severely underestimated the commodity of pants and tunics. While nothing felt quite as good on her as her crimson leather, the clothes she wore now were well made, the fabric much better than what Richard usually wore. It felt nice to finally stop pretending, to have their cards on the table, more or less.

“Would you even care if I bedded prince Fyren?” Kahlan asked without preamble from her place on the throne.

Cara stopped dead in her tracks as if someone had hit her over the head with a pan. She wasn’t sure where it came from but seeing Kahlan’s arrogant smirk on her face, she knew it wasn’t just a random question, the woman wanted to provoke a reaction.

“I do have a duty to continue the line of Confessors after all and he seems like a decent choice.” Kahlan continued goading the blonde, like she wanted to see if Cara cared. She glanced to her left where the prince was standing at the ready.

“Who are you asking, the princess you tried to court or me?” Cara replied with another question, clearly trying to avoid answering. There was no correct answer either way.

“Would the princess be jealous?” Kahlan answered the question with one of her own.

“I don’t care,” Cara said shortly.

“But you are serving the Seeker, would he care?” The Mother Confessor was clearly not letting go of the issue.

“You love him,” Cara stated, instinctively repeating what she had heard everybody say since she joined their group. It made Kahlan chuckle.

“Confessors don’t have the luxury of love and even if your Kahlan thinks otherwise, I can’t say I’m impressed by him,” Kahlan spoke, and even though her words were meant to confirm her lack of interest in Richard, another part of her sentence drew Cara’s attention.

“She’s not my Kahlan.” The blonde corrected quickly, a bit too quickly actually. 

“Another question then, would the Seeker care if I bedded you?” Kahlan questioned with a sly smile on her face.

This time, however, Cara refused to play her little game. “You are assuming I would want to have intercourse with you.”

Kahlan laughed. “See, that’s why I keep you around.” She said in a sugary voice as she stood up and moved in front of Cara. “You are the only one who dares speak to me that way, even when you were pretending to be a princess.” She lifted her hand to touch Cara’s hair and smiled when the blonde pulled away from her touch. “I’ve been thinking. I seem to have gathered a long list of enemies lately and it would be in your interest to make sure I stay alive. I can’t make you serve me without killing you, but I know that, even without confession, you’re going to make sure nothing happens to me. If you were to become my new personal guard, it would mean the prince is of no use to me anymore.” She added, looking at Fyren who was staring into the nothingness, waiting to be summoned.

“I’m surprised you kept him alive for so long,” Cara admitted. 

“I just wanted to keep my options open. Now, as a little show of loyalty… I want you to kill the prince.” Kahlan’s words had turned sharp and the order in them was clear.

“I am not your guard dog and I’m not going to kill your puppet, he’s no threat to you or me,” Cara said through gritted teeth. She hadn’t been given that type of order in a while and it felt wrong coming from Kahlan.

“Oh, if that’s your issue then let’s fix that. Prince Fyren, attack me.” Kahlan stated calmly, too calmly for someone who had just ordered a man to attack her.

“Mistress?” Fyren’s voice was filled with doubt. It was as if he had suddenly woken up from a deep sleep, his brain refusing to process the information given to him because he had been confessed to protect his mistress first and foremost, never to cause her harm.

“It’s an order, you idiot, grab your sword and charge me.” Kahlan was getting impatient and raised her voice.

The prince charged at Kahlan, following her orders and pointing the blade directly at Kahlan’s body. The Mother Confessor didn’t move but the man stopped himself at the last moment, incapable of delivering a direct blow to her heart. Instead, he redirected his weapon to her arm and a thin bloody line appeared on her skin, red droplets slowly pouring down, tainting her white dress red.

“Mistress! I’m so sorry, please forgive me.” Fyren pleaded as he looked at her with eyes filled with fear and worry. His heart was beating quickly and his breathing was irregular, the internal battle in his mind evident on his tortured face.

Cara watched the scene intently but still didn’t move from her spot. Kahlan could survive a little scratch on her arm.

“Again!” Kahlan ordered and they both saw the prince struggle with the order. His hands were shaking, as if he was trying to resist lifting up his sword again but Kahlan walked up to him and slapped him across the face, leaving an angry red palm print on his cheek.

“Mistress, not again, please…” Fyren managed to whisper out between ragged breaths, as if hurting his mistress was hurting him ten times worse.

“I said, continue!” Kahlan roared.

Fyren let out a scream before punching Kahlan, sending her flying to the ground. He secured the grip on his sword and began walking up to the Mother Confessor who was still on the floor, massaging her jaw and wiping away the blood at the corner of her lips.

That made Cara jump from her spot. Kahlan was ready to risk her life just to prove her point and would go as far as it took for Cara to act and kill the prince. Cara didn’t have a problem with killing the man, she didn’t care about him, he had been evil well before he was confessed so it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve to die but she didn’t think anyone should be stripped of their agency and used as a ragdoll like this so she convinced herself that this would be more of a mercy kill and not because Kahlan had asked her to. She was sure that, had it been possible for her to be confessed, she would want someone to do the same for her, to make it stop, to release her from someone else’s control.

As Fyren towered over Kahlan and lifted his sword above his head, Cara crouched down next to Kahlan’s legs where she knew the Mother Confessor kept her daggers. She quickly took them out of their sheaths and as she pushed herself up on her feet, she buried both ends in Fyren’s body, one of the daggers embedded in his heart and the other in his lungs. There was no sense in dragging out his death, it was already senseless enough. She heard him gasp before the sword fell out of his hands with a loud clang on the floor.

Soon enough, Fyren’s body followed his weapon. He was dead before he even hit the marble tiles under their feet, thick blood oozing out of his two wounds, quickly making a red puddle around him. A copper scent filled Cara’s nostrils and she remained quiet for a moment before she turned her head to look at Kahlan. The woman was still on the floor, clearly taking pleasure in the way things had developed, a smug smile on her face. Cara quickly bent next to her but far from offering her help to get up this time, the blonde grabbed her by the collar of her dress and pushed one of the daggers under her throat, discarding the other to the side. “This is the one and only time you’re pulling that stunt. I am not your toy and the next time you decide to test my loyalty like that, I will let you die by your own foolishness.” She growled in a low voice, looking into Kahlan’s eyes. She was taken aback by the way Kahlan’s pupils had turned dark, they were so close she could smell the soap on the other woman’s skin and it seemed like Kahlan was enjoying this, probably just as much as Cara would have back in the day, back when things were different and more importantly, back when she was different. Taking one steady breath, Cara let go of her hold on Kahlan and got up to her feet, letting the dagger fall to the ground, unbothered in the least where it landed.

Kahlan chuckled. “We both know that’s not true; you care about your Kahlan too much.” Her voice was sickly sweet again and lower than usual, it was like she was speaking the universal truth that Cara tried to ignore so much.

“I don’t, and she’s not my Kahlan.” Cara rolled her eyes, this Kahlan had quite the knack for annoying her.

“Whatever you say, Mord’sith,” Kahlan said and lifted her hand, an obvious gesture for Cara to help her.

Cara reached out, it was almost like muscle memory of their past interactions but then remembered herself and momentarily pulled her hand away. She glared at Kahlan and walked up to the door of the room without so much as a spare glance in her direction. They needed to bring Kahlan’s memory back and fast or find a way to use the amulet because at this rate, Cara was going to snap soon and it wouldn’t be pretty.

“If you have your leather, put it on, I want everyone to know a Mord’Sith is serving me,” Kahlan commanded as if it was as simple as telling her maid to bring her breakfast in bed.

“I am not serving you,” Cara replied as she gripped the doorknob. “I am not your slave.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Mord’Sith. Just know that if you get tempted to use your agiel on my guards, the wizard will suffer the consequences.” Kahlan warned her with a cold stare directed at Cara.

The blonde almost told her to think of a more original threat, this one was already getting old and repetitive but she knew Kahlan meant it seriously so she only shook her head and went to put on her leather.

Cara refused to see Kahlan for the rest of the day, fuming in her room about everything that had happened and her lack of control. She wanted to just go, leave it all behind, and make her way out of this place. After all, Kahlan wasn’t her responsibility, she was Richard’s mate and Zedd was his grandfather, there was nothing keeping her here.

On an impulse, Cara grabbed her bag and shoved her stuff inside, ready to sneak out of the palace. Even if she couldn’t use her agiels, the guards were no match for her but just as she made her way to the door and opened it a couple of inches, she froze, an uninvited memory flooding her mind. Zedd’s friendly pat on her back after they had bantered about his bottomless pit of a stomach and Kahan sitting on the side, watching them with an amused smile and something in her eyes that Cara couldn’t recognize, a glimpse of something she couldn’t place.

Cara closed the door carefully and let her head fall on it gently. She groaned and banged her head against it, not strong enough to get a scrambled head but just enough to remember where she was and what she was about to do. “Weak… they made me weak.” She murmured before letting go of the doorknob.

Cara Mason was not the type to wallow, mope or overthink, she needed to get a grip and find a solution. She decided that the next day, she was going to see Zedd, no matter if Kahlan liked it or not.

On the next day, the door of Kahlan’s office opened abruptly and Cara strode into the room without bothering to knock or announce herself first. “I passed your stupid test yesterday; I want to see the wizard now.” She declared, clearly indicating that she wouldn’t accept ‘no’ for an answer, even if that ended up costing her another fight, this time with the Mother Confessor herself.

“And pray tell, why should I offer you something?” Kahlan asked as she stopped reading the treaty in front of her and looked at Cara.

“Because I asked.” Cara crossed her arms defiantly.

“So, you think you’re special?” Kahlan challenged her.

“I know I am,” Cara answered with the same leveled voice.

Kahlan laughed at the woman’s confidence. “You did kill the prince; I suppose I can grant your wish to visit the wizard this once.”

“How generous of you.” Cara’s words were dripping with sarcasm.

“I am still amazed that a Mord’Sith would care about anyone but herself.” The Mother Confessor admitted.

Cara bit her tongue for this one. It wasn’t that she cared, she was just doing her job, simple as that but instead of answering anything, she turned around and walked to the door left ajar from her coming in. “I’m going to the dungeon.” She announced, ready for another clever remark from Kahlan.

“Cara?” Kahlan’s voice stopped the blonde in her tracks. “Don’t try anything stupid, it would be a shame to see that cute little head of yours roll on the ground.” She added, issuing a warning Cara had already seen coming.

As Cara approached the wizard’s cell, she could hear Zedd mumbling something to himself. She ignored the guards and stepped closer. “I thought it would take more time for you to go crazy, old man.” She said as greetings but there was no bite in her tone.

“My, my… I never thought I’d say this but it’s good to see the woman in red.” Zedd answered with a smile despite his surprise to see her.

Cara rolled her eyes. “Now, I’m positive that you’ve lost it.” It was nice to see him, while they had had their differences and a rocky start, Zedd had been more at ease with her lately and she had noticed.

Zedd chuckled then his expression turned hopeful. “Does Kahlan remember? Is that why you’re here? Where’s Richard?”

“No, nothing is working.” Cara let out a sigh. “I pretended to be a princess for a while, to get closer to her, but she remembered I was a Mord’Sith after Richard’s visit. She doesn’t want to see him anymore but she refuses to let me go, or you, for the matter.”

Zedd hummed to himself. “Still, she has been able to remember things, that’s a good start.”

“It’s not enough,” Cara argued. “Her compassion is still nonexistent and it’s getting worse.”

“You must keep trying, Cara.” Zedd encouraged her. “I can’t do anything without my powers and I fear things will get much worse before they get better.”

“If we can’t get you released, then I’ll try to break you out of this cell,” Cara said, not exactly sure how she was going to do it but it was worth the try.

After the events of the last couple of days, things were still a bit tense between Cara and Kahlan but weirdly, the flirting was coming back, slowly and gradually. At first, their biting remarks got fewer and far in between then, they fell into the comfortable rhythm of teasing each other like before, although now, Cara was more careful, trying not to fuel Kahlan’s desire too much. It might be better than the threat of a knife to her throat but it felt wrong, even when Cara wasn’t doing it on purpose. She also suspected Kahlan of toying with her, of using her charms in hope that it would make her lower her guard but Cara knew better.

The guards still followed Cara around but she was often able to lose them and explore the palace for secret passages and rooms with weapons.

Sometimes, she was stuck in her room, and to avoid dying of boredom, she would ask for books but she didn’t know how long she would be able to keep going like that either so, she started accompanying Kahlan, taking her role as personal guard to heart. At least, it gave her something to do instead of counting the flies in her room.

Not noticing any changes, Cara decided that it was time to change tactics. Making Kahlan remember everything would take forever so what she needed to do instead, was to make Kahlan remember Zedd so she could release him, allowing him to use his magic to fix the situation.

The blonde began to listen to the rumor mill around the palace, to the servants’ chatter in the hallways and the murmurs in the kitchens. She got to know which person was confessed and which wasn’t since she couldn’t trust the names Alferon had given her before her arrival anymore. The wizard’s list of unconfessed servants had thinned a lot, especially after the assassination attempt when Kahlan had accused a few of treason for helping the man get close enough to her.

After a couple of days, Cara found out that one of the older maids, Florencia, was one of the few left who hadn’t been confessed and knew everything that was happening around the palace. Her plan was simple, she wanted to show Kahlan things that were linked to Zedd in hope that it would trigger her memory, but since she wasn’t free to go as she pleased, she knew she needed help.

So, one night, Cara cornered Florencia and asked her to gather what she needed, food, books, and some trinkets but the woman was reluctant, clearly afraid that she would get in trouble.

“I am asking nicely,” Cara growled, an agiel in hand. To her surprise, the maid practically laughed in her face.

“Have you seen my mistress?” Florencia asked with her head high. “I am not scared of you; I’m scared of her.”

It wasn’t often that Cara was surprised by someone’s strength of character but she had to admit, the woman had guts and it was clear that she didn’t want to end up confessed like most of the other servants. Since threatening her wasn’t going to work, she tried to appeal to her more caring side. “Do you care about Kahlan?” She put her agiel back into its holster.

“Of course I do!” Florencia seemed offended by the question. “But not…” She snapped her mouth shut, as if remembering herself.

“Not when she’s unhinged like she is right now?” Cara finished for her with a raised eyebrow. When Florencia didn’t answer, she sighed. She couldn’t stay outside of her room for too long so she had to cut to the chase. “I’m trying to help Kahlan here, not plot against her. If you are so afraid of being confessed, then you should help me so I can bring the real Mother Confessor back.”

“You are a Mord’Sith, why should I trust you?” Florencia asked, squinting her eyes in suspicion.

Cara snorted, at this point, she didn’t know if the woman was brave or stupid but she answered anyway. “Look around, nobody is coming to help you. Right now, I’m your best chance.” Suddenly, she remembered seeing Florencia while she was with Richard and thought it might help her case. “Besides, you saw me with the Seeker, do you really think he would trust me around Kahlan if I wasn’t a friend?” 

Florencia stared at her for a moment then nodded. “Very well, tell me what you need.”

Two days later, Cara dragged Kahlan to Ambrosio’s tavern. After all, what better way to jog some memories of Zedd than doing his favorite activity, eating? It had been hard to convince Kahlan to follow her and Cara had to use more charm than she would have liked but luckily, the Mother Confessor’s curiosity had won and she had agreed to accompany her, even if she didn’t know why it was important to Cara.

“One-on-one dinner outside of my palace, I’m charmed by your initiative, Cara.” Kahlan teased once they were seated at a table in the corner.

Cara rolled her eyes. “Focus, Mother Confessor.” Not wanting Kahlan to get any ideas, she rushed to set her plan into motion. “This is Zedd’s favorite place.” She stated as she emptied the contents of her bag on the table. Even though she didn’t know the wizard all that well and had to improvise, she had shoved inside everything that she thought could help her remember Zedd. She was sure there were enough items on the table to coax at least one new memory from Kahlan’s mind.

“Is that why you brought me here, for the wizard?” Kahlan’s amusement turned into annoyance.

“I’m trying to help you here, look at all the objects on the table and tell me if anything brings up a memory,” Cara said calmly, trying not to lose her temper this early in the evening.

Kahlan pushed some of the objects away so she could take Cara’s hand in hers. “Why would I care about the wizard when I’m in such good company?” Her voice had taken a seductive tone.

The blonde fought back a smirk. “Humor me and then we can do whatever you want.” She offered without thinking twice about how dangerous that offer was.

Kahlan raised an eyebrow. “Whatever I want?”

“I won’t bed you.” Cara quickly pulled her hand away, not wanting to give Kahlan the wrong impression with her previous comment. It might have been entertaining to flirt when she was pretending to be a princess but they weren’t playing anymore and she needed to remember that.

“Oh, you’re breaking my heart,” Kahlan said theatrically and clutched her heart.

“Didn’t know you still had one.” Cara dared to say. It should sound harsh, insulting even, but her voice came out flirtatious instead.

“That’s rich, coming from a Mord’Sith.” Kahlan teased back.

Cara shrugged. “At least that’s expected of me.”

“I think you are a lot of things, Cara, but heartless doesn’t seem to be one of them.” Kahlan leaned closer with an innocent smile.

Cara could feel her foot teasing hers under the table. “Kahlan…” She trailed off warningly.

Kahlan chuckled. “Fine, let’s get this over with so I can have you all to myself.” She winked at Cara before looking at the objects in front of her. She touched one of the books, a couple of stones, and a coin, but nothing happened. She looked at the others but still no reaction, until her gaze fell on a persimmon and her hand reached for it on its own accord.

A look that Cara had started to recognize easily passed on Kahlan’s face, she was remembering something. She allowed herself one small, hopeful smile and gently said. “Do you remember him?”

“A bit…” Kahlan answered vaguely.

“Does it mean you’ll let Zedd go now?” Cara questioned carefully.

Kahlan remained silent for a moment and then, her expression turned serious once more. “No. Whatever I saw, it only means that I’ve met him before but he could still try to betray me or plot against me.” She smiled once more. “Now, let’s order!” She waved at the waitress.

Cara sighed and leaned back on her chair. So far, her plan wasn’t functioning as well as she had hoped.

One evening, as Cara was reading the first code of Aydindril in her chambers, trying to understand Kahlan’s sense of justice regarding those archaic laws, she heard a knock on her door. Seeing that she had already dined with Kahlan, she didn’t know who it could be at this time but if they were knocking, it was surely not to attack her. She didn’t have to wonder for long as Kahlan stepped into the room.  

“Mother Confessor?” Cara raised an eyebrow at the woman’s presence. Kahlan had left in the middle of their dinner to attend to some pressing matters and since the woman had made it clear that she wasn’t a priority, she hadn’t expected a visit any time soon. At least she was still dressed, even if she had removed her gloves, she didn’t want to think about the comments she would have gotten otherwise.

“Am I interrupting something?” Kahlan asked, arching an eyebrow back at her. She was holding a flat, rectangular wooden box in her hands.

Cara pointedly looked around to make it clear that they both knew there wasn’t much to do in the confine of her chambers. “What do you think?” She hopped off the bed.

“Good.” Kahlan came closer. “Since you said you were bored during supper, I brought you a game.” She looked down at the box.

Cara stared at her, one surprise after another... She hadn’t meant to tell the woman that life at the palace was boring but Kahlan had spent their dinner acting as if they were friends, equals and Cara had eventually let it slip. She didn’t know why Kahlan cared, if it was another test, another mind game but Cara refused to fall for her fake act of kindness. “I didn’t know the Mother Confessor was personally entertaining her prisoners.”

“Just you, princess,” Kahlan smirked. “And you are not a prisoner, I see you more as a… safeguard.”

For Cara, it was pretty much the same, she still wasn’t free to go as she pleased. When Kahlan wasn’t using ‘Mord’Sith’ to taunt her, she would use ‘Princess’ to tease and Cara didn’t know which one she hated the most. “Should I feel flattered?”

“Very.” Kahlan winked and moved to the table in the corner, setting the box down. She opened it and grabbed a die, throwing it at Cara who caught it effortlessly. “So, interested?”

“I thought you were busy.” Cara glanced at the two sets of dice in the box and wondered which game Kahlan wanted them to play.

“I took care of it.” Kahlan shrugged.

Cara looked at the die in her hand. She wouldn’t mind the distraction and at least, while Kahlan was with her, she wasn’t threatening anyone else. “Well, I have nothing better to do.”

Kahlan’s eyes lit up darkly, a devilish yet charming smile tugging at her lips. “I can think of a few other things if…”

“No.” Cara cut her off before Kahlan could start prepositioning her again.

Kahlan chuckled. “Very well, let’s see how good you are at Farkle then.”

Without a word, Cara joined Kahlan at the table. She hadn’t played in a while but she needed to win, not just for her pride but because she needed to bring that Kahlan down a notch or two.

Cara grabbed her six dice and threw them inside the open box. She smirked as she noticed two 1, she was off to a good start. Her luck didn’t last though because her second roll only gave her one 5. Wanting to see how Kahlan would play before taking risks, she decided to score her 250 and pass.

Kahlan seemed luckier and quickly scored 400 points. As they kept playing, Cara started to realize Kahlan wasn’t new to this game and it wasn’t just luck, it was skills. “Who taught you how to play? I don’t really see the Mother Confessor spending all her evenings in taverns to learn.”

“You are not the one suffering from amnesia, you should know I wasn’t always the Mother Confessor,” Kahlan stated without really answering Cara's question.

“Still,” Cara insisted. “It’s not something you play in high places.”

Kahlan paused for a moment. “If you win this game, I’ll tell you.”

Cara had never backed down from a challenge and even though she was behind, it wasn’t over yet. She couldn’t play safe anymore so she took her dice and threw them. Three ones. She glanced at Kahlan with a taunting smirk. “I hope you are ready to talk, Mother Confessor.”

“Win first, Mord’Sith,” Kahlan answered back with a hint of annoyance.

Cara’s smirk turned into a mighty smile when she noticed the slight frown on Kahlan’s face. “Don’t worry, I’m planning on it.” She scored and rolled again. She did the same until she had only one die left. It was risky and if she rolled it again, she could lose everything but it was worth the risk. She rolled the die and it stopped on a 1. She was over 10 000. “Yes!” She exclaimed, punching the air in victory. Kahlan seemed amused by her reaction and it made her realize that she was actually enjoying her time with her for the first time since she moved in. She schooled her features and said, “So, how did you learn how to play.”

“I learned during my training as a Confessor but it was my father who first introduced me to the game,” Kahlan replied after a while.

Cara hadn’t expected Kahlan to actually answer but she should know that this Kahlan was playing by the rules, a bit too much in fact and since they had made a deal, it looked like the woman felt obliged to respect it. Cara didn’t know anything about Kahlan’s father but an offhand comment made by the woman at Zedd let her know that it was a sour subject. Not knowing what to say, she simply nodded at Kahlan, letting her choose if she wanted to develop or not.

“When he was still kind to me and my sister, he liked to spend time with us, teaching us all kinds of things even though we were young. It was his way of teaching me numbers.” Kahlan started then her voice turned cold. “Then my mother died and he reverted back to the monster he always was. He forced us to do his bidding until we were rescued.”

“Where is he now?” Cara questioned. “Is he still alive?”

“He’s alive,” Kahlan leaned back in her chair with a thoughtful look on her face. “Maybe I should do something about that.”

Cara wasn’t about to go out of her way to protect that poor excuse of a father if Kahlan wanted retribution but she wasn’t sure if the other version of her companion, the merciful one, would agree. “I wouldn’t mind helping but I think we should wait until you find that more… reasonable part of yourself first.” She was aware that it irked Kahlan when people were telling her that she wasn’t ‘herself’, so she tried to be more careful with her wording. What was she reduced to? Maybe she was the one not being herself at this point, it was ridiculous.

“I feel complete but I appreciate the offer.” Kahlan leaned forward with a flirty smile and let her fingers graze Cara’s.

Cara tried to pull her hand away but Kahlan pulled it closer. “What are…”

“How did you get that scar?” Kahlan nodded at the little scar between Cara’s thumb and index.

Cara glanced down at it with a frown. It was weird that, of all the scars she had, Kahlan would ask about this one. “You were with me that day, we were fighting D’haran soldiers together.”

Kahlan paused and closed her eyes, her grip tightening slightly. She sighed and touched her forehead. “I remember that…” She opened her eyes again and caressed the scar with her thumb before letting go of Cara’s hand. “It’s late, you should rest, we’re going to the market tomorrow.” She stated as she made her way to the door. She opened it and gave Cara one last glance before leaving the room.

Cara stared at the closed door. She wondered if Kahlan just had a flashback again or if it was something she had remembered beforehand. Kahlan was getting better at hiding the signs but the change in her demeanor was too abrupt to be normal. She puffed some air, at least she had something to do the next day…

Chapter Text

The day came when Cara got bored again, Kahlan had no plans to go out and that meant she didn’t need her ‘services’. After reading for a little while, she found herself going to the kitchen to get a little something to nibble on.

“George, you’re making too many dishes again,” Cara complained as she walked into the kitchens and saw the chubby chef trying to stir a pot with some sort of soup in it, chopping the rest of the vegetables for a roast and whisking something white and fluffy in a big wooden bowl, all at the same time. Ever since she talked to Florencia, she had started acknowledging a few other unconfessed servants, including the cook. She didn’t know what the maid had told them but they didn’t seem afraid of her, which wasn’t great for her reputation but could be useful in the future if she needed something.

George chuckled. “You need to eat, my lady.”

“I need to stay fit, so one dish is enough for the main course.” Cara wasn’t doing much during the day so she didn’t want to gain weight because of his food, as good as it was.

Before the cook could answer, someone cleared their throat from behind them and when Cara turned around to see who it was, she saw Kahlan leaning against the doorframe.

“Do you consider yourself the new lady of the palace that you order my people around?” Kahlan asked lightly. 

“Just giving my opinion, or do I have to fight for that right as well?” Cara arched an eyebrow but there was no real antagonism in her voice.

“You can try.” Kahlan gave her a teasing smile. “I have a moment to spare, why don’t you come with me to the training grounds? That is, if you are up to the challenge…”

Once again, Cara found herself wondering why Kahlan was offering to spend time with her. It had happened a few times since they played farkle and there seemed to be a repetitive pattern in Kahlan’s offers. When they were together in those moments, Kahlan was not asking about the past or her memories, she was just friendly so it didn’t really feel like a game. Then, Cara remembered overhearing a conversation between Kahlan and a confessed advisor of hers and how the woman had gotten frustrated that the man would just go along with everything she said. Kahlan had looked almost lonely when she left him and now, Cara wondered if there was something more to their activities together. She couldn’t say she hated it and she didn’t want to think whether she enjoyed it or not, it was just something to do.

Cara found herself at the training grounds, taking slow steps toward Kahlan, the other woman had gotten her daggers out and she was using her agiels. Their weapons could be as biting as themselves and it all felt simpler at this moment, blades against magic, white against red, agiel against dagger. There was a precious rhythm in their movements, a soundless melody that guided their bodies, occasionally broken by the hiss or gasp of one of the two as the other landed a blow.

Cara didn’t know when a wide smile had settled on her lips, but when it turned cocky, she saw Kahlan mirror it, inviting her to attack and so they continued for a while. Attack, blow, block and attack again. Their movements were dynamic and quick, it felt as if they had been sparring together for years and they lost all notions of time, stopping only when both were soaked with sweat and could barely catch their breath.

Wanting to take a win where she could get it, the blonde waited for Kahlan to let her guard down and tackled her to the ground, straddling her. “It seems like I’m on top this time.” She teased the woman under her.

“You only had to ask, you know.” Kahlan teased back and laughed.

Cara knew she should move, she should jump back up on her feet and step away from Kahlan, put as much distance as she could between them but having the other woman so close to her and her hands on her thighs made the blonde feel a bit hot, preventing her from thinking properly for a moment. Then, Kahlan’s hands slid higher and in the blink of an eye, Cara remembered how to move her body again and stood up abruptly. “We should get back inside, it’s getting chilly.” She said as she scratched her neck and quickly made her way to the palace.

Distance, that was what they both needed…

Cara was making her way to Kahlan’s chambers after receiving a note requesting her presence. She wondered why the woman hadn’t come to her room like she had done before if she needed to see her so badly but this Kahlan’s actions didn’t always make sense to her.

Without sparing a glance at the guards guarding the door, Cara knocked and entered Kahlan’s chambers. “Mother Confessor,” She drawled with a hint of annoyance at being summoned. “What…” The rest of her sentence died on her lips as Kahlan stepped out from behind her wooden folding screen, completely disrobed.

“Cara, finally!” Kahlan exclaimed with a lustful smile.

Cara froze for a moment, her mind visibly trying to catch up with the situation before she swirled around and slammed the door shut. She stayed facing the door, avoiding eye contact at all cost. She didn’t know why she felt so panicky all of a sudden but everything felt very wrong. Once upon a time, she wouldn’t have cared and would have just enjoyed the view, after all the Mother Confessor was a beautiful woman but Kahlan was her… whatever she was to her and she wasn’t herself. Normal Kahlan was a prude, she was all about love and romance and pretty flowers, she wasn’t a woman of easy virtue. Cara also knew Richard would reprimand her for ‘taking advantage of the situation' and she didn’t need him to blame her for yet another thing that was not under her control. Once again, she wondered when she had started to care about her companions’ feelings and how she could make it stop. “Why aren’t you dressed?” She finally asked, looking at the ceiling.

“I didn’t think I would have to spell it out to a Mord’Sith.” Kahlan moved closer, standing right behind Cara. “Isn’t it a common thing in your temples?” She whispered in Cara’s ear, letting a finger slide down her spine.

“We are not in a Mord’Sith temple and you are not one of my sisters.” Cara really needed to put space between them.

“It doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy our time together.” Kahlan brushed some blonde strands of hair away from Cara’s neck and lay a kiss. “Our sparring session left me a little hot…” She purred.

Cara felt her knee jerk at the gesture. “Kahlan.” She said warningly, stepping away from Kahlan and making her way to the other side of the room. “Is there a reason for my presence here or are you just feeling lonely?” She could simply leave the room but things were slightly getting better between them and she didn’t want to lose her progress just because Kahlan was offended.

Kahlan pouted exuberantly. “I thought Mord’Sith knew how to have fun.”

“I told you, I am not your slave.” Cara grabbed the white dress on the wooden screen and threw it at Kahlan without looking. “So get dressed.”

“Am I really not to your liking or are you just trying to protect my virtue?” Kahlan asked while making no move to get dressed.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Cara scoffed.

Kahlan chuckled as if she knew the answer to her question. “A Mord’Sith with a conscience, you are full of surprises, Cara.” She finally put on her dress. “Help me with the laces.”

Cara groaned but moved to help Kahlan nonetheless. She refused to touch the laces on the front so she focused on the ones in the back that were loose for some reason. If she tied them tight enough, it might prevent Kahlan from taking her dress off again until she was out of the room. “The other Kahlan wouldn’t…” She started, trying to explain herself but Kahlan interrupted her.

“You know, we keep talking about me as if I was two different people but I took some time to think about it, and… has it ever occurred to you that I might be the real Kahlan?” The Mother Confessor questioned. “Or at least a big part of her? The one she had kept hidden and locked away until now, the one you all find convenient to ignore.”

Unlike Richard, Cara had never believed Kahlan was perfect. Confessors could destroy people while still being seen as good while Mord’Sith were seen as the worst of evil when they, at least, offered the sweet release of death to their victims. So maybe Kahlan was right, she wasn’t really a different person but without her missing parts, especially the gentler one, Cara still believed the woman wasn’t her true self. “I’ve always known Confessors had a dark side.”

“I knew you would understand as a Mord’Sith but I wouldn’t call it a dark side.” Kahlan corrected. “I think I am a better version of myself, one who isn’t afraid of her power, or her desire…”

Cara pulled on her laces forcefully as a warning but it had the opposite effect on Kahlan who let out a small moan. She quickly tied a knot at the bottom and stepped away. “You can finish yourself.” She went back to her previous spot on the other side of the room. She ignored how Kahlan took her time to tie the laces at the front of her dress and focused on the dressing table next to her instead. She spotted a fancy comb on it and tried to remember if she had seen Kahlan use it before moving to the palace. Since she had no memory of it - not that she paid enough attention to Kahlan to be sure - she wondered if the Mother Confessor, despite her lawful good alignment, had decided to splurge on something nice with the money of her people. She took the comb in her hand to give it a better look. The comb was divided in two parts, only held together by one single minuscule screw that served to extend and retreat the handle. The top cover plate of the handle was made entirely out of gold and a small night wisp image was glued in the middle; a blue stone was incrusted in the design as well. The second part of the comb where the small, delicate teeth spurred from ended in a solid line of gold as well, decorated with leafy vines, looped around each other on both sides. “Where did you get this?”

Kahlan looked up, an unguarded smile appearing on her face as her eyes fell on the object. “It was my mother’s. A healer gave it to me after I confessed him. He told me that he looked over my mother once, when she first got sick, and she gave it to him as payment for the ointments.”

Cara stared at Kahlan’s smile for a while. It might be the first genuine one she had seen on the woman’s face so far and maybe a hint that the real Kahlan was still there, somewhere.

Kahlan approached her and took the comb from her hand. “It’s funny, my amnesia only affects my memories from the past two years and yet, I can barely remember my mother’s face...”

Not knowing what to say, Cara gave her a nod of acknowledgment. Despite their tumultuous relationship since she moved into the palace, Kahlan had shared things about her life and family with her. She didn’t know why Kahlan was doing it, if it was unconscious or if it was a past that she knew Cara couldn’t use against her but no matter the reason, it always left Cara feeling out of their depth.

While they were traveling together, Kahlan had often extracted answers from her about her old life. Confessors couldn’t read Mord’Sith but sometimes, it felt like Kahlan could see parts of her anyway and Cara hated it. If they were around a campfire and Kahlan was sharing that story with her, Cara might have begrudgingly told her that it was the same with her mother but this Kahlan would only use it against her so she kept her mouth shut. They weren’t friends after all and no version of Kahlan should know about her life… If there was one thing she could admit though, it was that she almost missed not being able to talk more freely with Kahlan without expecting a knife to her throat. “I should go.” She stated suddenly, feeling like everything was getting too personal. She rushed to the door without waiting for an answer.

Kahlan finally felt secure and at ease enough to let Cara go around without an escort so the blonde spent several nights after that exploring the nooks and crannies of the palace, wondering if she could find a way to see Zedd again without causing too much of a ruckus.

One night, as Cara was making one of her usual walks around the grounds and was about to reach the hallway leading to the gardens, she noticed Kahlan making her way outside. The Mother Confessor was wearing a black dress instead of her usual white one and instead of a torch in her hand, she was holding a small candle lantern. Cara was intrigued as to what required such camouflaging abilities so she followed silently from afar, avoiding the light of the torches and the dry twigs under her feet. Soon, she saw Kahlan stop at an altar in the garden, removing a stone and putting something in there.

Cara hid behind one of the trees as Kahlan took a look around to confirm that nobody had seen her before making her way back to the palace. Since Cara’s curiosity was piqued, she quickly went to see what all that secrecy was about.

After carefully opening the panel under the altar, Cara found a journal inside and opened it. At first glance, it looked like she had found Kahlan’s secret thoughts and a small smirk appeared on her lips. If it were the Kahlan she knew, she might have thought twice about reading it but here, it could be just what she needed to finally make some progress.

The full moon and the distant torches provided her with enough light to read everything but reading it out here, in the open, was risky. It was equally risky to try and take it to her room so she needed to find a place nearby that could give her enough privacy and let her read the journal in her hands undisturbed. Cara looked around until her eyes fell upon a gazebo snuggled in the corner of the garden and she headed toward it.

From the circular floor of the gazebo, seven marble columns supported the carved wooden dome that was initially made for the plants to grow around the wooden beams but for now, the ivy sneaking up the structure was barely beginning to cover the upper ends of the columns. The rose bushes that had been growing near the gazebo had intertwined their branches with the ivy and bright, red flowers sprouted between the green leaves, making something akin to a natural wall between the empty space of the columns. The air inside the gazebo was even sweeter than outside of it because of the roses and it provided exactly the cover that Cara needed. She swiftly sat down on her legs and started reading, quickly flipping through the pages of the journal. 

The first entry that caught her attention was from the day of their first picnic. Kahlan had remembered that time when Cara had showed her how to hunt rabbits since the woman had insisted to come along back then. Kahlan couldn’t remember who she was with, just that she was holding a bow and someone was guiding her arm. Then, Cara saw another entry from the day she had taken her to Ambrosio’s. Kahlan had touched the persimmon and had remembered that time when Zedd had told her that he had a weakness for the ‘last, most sweet, delicious and ripe persimmon of the season’. Cara skipped a couple more pages and saw a memory where Kahlan talked about how she remembered practicing daggers throwing while Zedd was talking to Richard about how to prepare their food. She raised an eyebrow; it must be from before she was traveling with them because she would have liked to see that. Cara chuckled when she started reading about Kahlan sneaking away to have a midnight swim on her own when they had stopped near Rockwell, a village close to the border with D’Hara.

Everything seemed to be just random glimpses and flashes of memories but they were there, even if Kahlan couldn’t understand them all, she had remembered them. Cara was ready to continue when she heard a group of various guards making their way through the garden. It was her cue to leave so she quickly put the journal back to its place. What she had learned was enough, it confirmed that Kahlan had flashbacks of memories and what she was doing wasn’t for nothing. Now, she just had to try harder…

Like every morning since she arrived, a maid brought Cara her breakfast. The young brunette had been afraid of her at first, but she seemed to have gotten over it and was now even starting conversations with her. Normally, Cara would try to avoid small talk, especially with the help, but the woman was easy on the eyes and a nice distraction.

A few days ago, Cara had used her charm to convince the woman – Letecia, Lutessa, something starting with an L – to bring her some honey cakes even though it wasn’t the food they would usually serve in the morning and today, the woman had delivered.

“I could kiss you!” Cara smirked and winked, enjoying the blush appearing on the maid’s face. She took a bite of the cake and nodded in approval. They were really good.

“If you wish to kiss anyone, it should be me.” Kahlan suddenly appeared at the door.

Cara noticed the way Kahlan stared at her lips as she ate the last piece of her cake. “Jealous?” She raised an eyebrow.

Kahlan fully stepped into the room. “Letitia, bring me my breakfast here, please.” She ordered the maid before sitting at Cara’s table. The maid bowed and swiftly left the room.

“I didn’t know we were having breakfast together,” Cara said, slightly amused by Kahlan’s attitude.

Kahlan shrugged. “You seem to be in a mood for company.” 

“Who said I wanted yours?” Cara arched an eyebrow again.

Kahlan took the rose on Cara’s plater and offered it to her with a charming smile. “I can make it worth your while.” She winked then grabbed a honey cake and bit into it, letting out a moan.

Cara unconsciously glanced at Kahlan’s lips then cleared her throat, quickly putting the flower down and reaching for her tea. It was going to be a long morning.

Kahlan had been kinder the past week, not just to Cara but to other people as well and for the blonde, it was a true sign that they were on the right path. The Mother Confessor hadn’t threatened her in a while, even jokingly, and seemed to seek her company more and more often. Kahlan was still trying to seduce her but it was more subtle, gentle, and as surprising as it was, Cara definitely preferred that approach to her more aggressive one, not that she was receptive or anything, it was just less awkward.

Even though Cara refused to admit it out loud, she had been enjoying her time with the Mother Confessor as of late and the feeling seemed mutual. Kahlan had been asking about their travels more often but most of the time, they were just sparring together or playing farkle, talking about nothing and everything. Well, Kahlan was doing most of the talking but Cara couldn’t complain because sometimes, she could see glimpses of the woman she knew…

It continued for a few more days, with Kahlan asking for her opinion on official matters or even allowing her to see Zedd for a short moment but then, one day, two children were brought into the petition room after stealing some apples and Cara realized that Kahlan might be remembering more and more things but her compassion was still nowhere to be found.

Cara stood behind Kahlan as the Mother Confessor questioned the children. They were siblings, a boy around ten summers and a girl, around seven, both with golden hair. They were orphans, stealing what they could to survive but as Cara studied Kahlan’s reaction, she could tell it wouldn’t make a difference in her judgment.

“What do you have to say in your defense?” Kahlan asked the siblings.

“We were starving, my lady,” The boy explained quietly. “And we had nowhere to go…”

“Don’t lie to me, little boy,” Kahlan said sternly. “You had a place at the orphanage, why did you leave?”

The boy sniffled and took his sister’s hand in his. “Because the older children were mean to us.”

“Still, you had a roof over your head and food on the table,” Kahlan stated, her voice still stern. “You had no reason to run away and steal from an honest merchant.”

“I’m sorry, my lady.” The boy looked down, downcast.

“Do you know the punishment for theft?” Kahlan questioned.

Cara saw the frightened look on the children’s faces and turned her head toward Kahlan with a scowl. She wasn’t one to coo at children or get moved by their tears but even she could see how ridiculous the situation was. Surely, Kahlan could see it too. How could a woman who got out of her way to help children suddenly sentence them? “You cannot be serious?”

Kahlan clicked her tongue. “You are not the one I asked.” She replied coldly.

In that moment, it dawned on Cara that Kahlan hadn’t changed, she was just toying with her and it made Cara’s blood boil. “Well too bad because I’m the one answering.” She moved away from the throne and stood in front of the children. “Do you think this is justice?” She crossed her arms. She didn’t know why she felt so enraged right now but it felt like she had wasted weeks at the palace for nothing and she was done being ordered around and played with.

“I wouldn’t expect a Mord’Sith to know the meaning of that word.” Kahlan declared with a hint of disdain that Cara hadn’t heard in a while.

“Clearly more than you do lately.” Cara snapped. “They are just children.”

Kahlan sighed. “I take no pleasure in this. I will only tell you the same thing I told the wizard, if I start making exceptions, it will soon be chaos.”

“Unbelievable!” Cara shook her head in disbelief. She turned to the boy. “How many apples did you steal?”

“Two…” The boy answered with wide eyes.

“Two, that’s it?” Cara pointedly looked back at Kahlan. “Don’t you have better things to do?” She had never thought she would protect the weak and defenseless so adamantly - especially without Richard or Zedd around - but she had also never thought Kahlan would hold the law above all else, forcing her to be the voice of reason. She couldn’t dwell on it or she would have to face all the changes happening in her and she would rather fight a gar than work on that.

“A crime is a crime,” Kahlan stated. “The code of Aydindril says…”

“Then burn the code!” Cara barked loudly. “You keep talking about yourself as if you are the best Mother Confessor Aydindril has ever known, maybe it’s time to act like it. Make your own laws and put a stop to this farce.” From the corner of her eye, she saw a few guards approaching her so she pulled out her agiels. “Just try.” She taunted them.

“Enough!” Kahlan commanded as she stood up. “Take the children to a cell for now and you,” She glared at Cara. “If you don’t want to get arrested for breach of the peace, I advise you to go back to your chambers.”

Cara tightened her grip on her agiels, desperately battling her impulse to start a fight with Kahlan. She saw the little girl look back at her tearfully and instantly realized that, if she tried anything, the children would be the first to pay for it, then Zedd and to finish Richard. She took a deep breath and with her jaw set in anger, she holstered her agiels and left the petition room.

Cara spent the rest of the day pacing the floor of her room, like she had done many times before. She also refused to dine with Kahlan to show the Mother Confessor that she had crossed the line, even if she knew the woman didn’t care.

By sundown, Cara had made up her mind. She couldn’t stay at the palace anymore, especially if her presence had no impact on Kahlan. Remembering the past meant nothing if Kahlan wasn’t changing back. People could say whatever they wanted about her attitude but they couldn’t say that she didn’t try, it just didn’t work. 

So far, Kahlan had held the threat of punishment above her head to keep her in line but if she could rescue the children and Zedd at the same time, the wizard would be safe from retribution, and then, they could just get Richard and leave Aydindril and the Midlands all together.

Cara looked out the window, it was dark enough to set her plan into motion. It had been raining since late morning so she would have to be careful not to leave too many footsteps during their escape to prevent the guards from following them. She left her room unnoticed and stealthily made her way to the dungeon, avoiding fights with guards unless it was necessary. She didn’t want them to raise the alarm before the children and Zedd were by her side.

Things got more complicated once she reached the locked door leading to the cells. There was no way to get through without getting rid of the Homeguards so she quickly knocked them out, stole their keys, and started her search for the siblings. She found them in a cell at the end of the hallway, on the opposite side from where Zedd was being held captive. Cara had been surprised at first by how big the dungeon was but it had been built a long time ago, when the Confessors were at war with a lot of people so it made sense.

“Hey!” Cara called for the siblings’ attention but they cowered in the corner. She frowned and realized that she was still holding her agiels. She put them away and grabbed the keys, trying a few until she found the right one.

The boy slowly came closer. “Are you here to help?”

“Yes,” Cara replied as she opened the cell. She waved them closer. “Come on, we have to go.”

“I told you the nice lady would help us.” The little blonde girl told her brother.

Cara scowled. “I’m not nice.” She watched as the boy joined her but the girl stayed seated in the corner. “What are you waiting for? We don’t have all night!”

“I can’t walk,” The girl said quietly, looking down at her bloody feet.

“Who did this to you?” Cara entered the cell to take a closer look. “The guards?” She knew she should have killed them instead of just knocking them out.

The girl shook her head. “No, the rats.”

Cara kneeled down and inspected her wounds. Indeed, it looked like the rats had gnawed at her feet a bit. She was suddenly hit by the memory of her younger self, lying on the ground with her feet bleeding and an agiel as her only salvation. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. They didn’t have time for that. “Fine, jump on my back.” The girl did as she was asked and after Cara ordered the brother to stay behind her, they made their way toward Zedd’s cell.

When Cara reached her destination, she saw that, even at night, two guards were watching the wizard closely. She set the girl down and told the children to stay out of sight and wait for her. Cara approached the guards with her head high, ready to fight, but one of them seemed to recognize her and asked if she was there to visit the wizard again.

Unfazed, Cara slowly reached for her agiels but a quick glance at Zedd made her stop. The wizard was shaking his head in warning so she decided to answer the guard. “Yes.”

“Isn’t it a bit late for that?” The other guard questioned.

Cara rolled her eyes. “Who are you, my mother?”

“Fine, but make it quick and then go back to your chambers.” The first guard stepped away and let her pass.

“Cara!” Zedd gave her a tired smile. “It’s good to see you again. What are you doing here so late?” He glanced at her agiels, letting her know that he already knew why she was there.

“I’m here to rescue you, wizard,” Cara whispered. “I just got two children out of their cell, now it’s your turn so we can all leave this place for good.”

“Thank you, my child, but I’m afraid I can’t leave,” Zedd answered in a low voice. “There is a spell on the lock only a wizard can break.” He held Cara’s gaze and gave her a reassuring nod. “Take the children to safety and go, do not worry about me.”

“If I go without you, Kahlan is going to…” Cara started but Zedd interrupted her.

“I appreciate your concern, Cara.” Zedd smiled softly. “But you shouldn’t have to sacrifice yourself for an old man. I know you tried your best but clearly, the power of the amulet is stronger than we thought and there is no reason for all of us to suffer from it.”

“Time to conclude.” A guard declared.

“Go.” Zedd tried to reach out but then remembered his hands were still tied.

“I will come back,” Cara assured him before making her way back to the children.

Cara led them toward a secret tunnel she had found a few days prior. She had been planning on exploring it soon but now, she didn’t really have a choice. Luckily, after fumbling their way through the dark tunnel, they found themselves outside. She put the girl down and kneeled to the children’s level. “You need to go find the Seeker, he’s a… friend of mine. He will help you.”

“But…” The boy frowned. “Aren’t you coming with us?”

Cara glanced back at the tunnel’s entrance. No matter what the wizard said, she couldn’t just abandon him. Besides, they needed him to fix the amulet if they ever wanted to have Kahlan back. “No.” She shook her head. “The Seeker is staying at the Crossed Keys inn, tell him Cara sent you.”

The boy nodded. “Thank you.”

Cara stood up, ready to leave but then she realized they might not know how to reach the inn. “Do you know how to get there?”

“Huh…” The boy looked around, trying to find his bearings. “I think so…”

“Okay, go now!” Cara shooed them away. She watched them take a few steps then the girl abruptly stopped and turned around, running toward her. Cara frowned in confusion then froze when the girl hugged her legs.

“Thank you, Cara.” The girl gave her a missing-tooth smile before joining her brother back.

Once Cara was sure they were going the right way, she went back inside the tunnel.

When Cara made it back to her chambers, she was surprised to find Kahlan there, waiting for her.  She sighed; the guards must have warned her. “Mother Confessor.” She greeted her curtly as she closed the door. She squared her shoulders, bracing herself for whatever was about to happen.

“You told me once that something bad happened to make me forget the past two years.” Kahlan started, taking a step forward. “You were right, something really must have gone wrong if a Mord’Sith suddenly discovers her motherly side.”

Cara didn’t move from her spot next to the door and crossed her arms defiantly. “I think you should worry about the Mother Confessor losing hers.”

“I knew you wouldn’t listen,” Kahlan said, her face unreadable as she once again took a step closer to Cara.

“And yet you didn’t try to stop me.” Cara pointed out. She knew from the beginning that if her plan to escape were to fail, she would have to suffer the consequences but right now, she couldn’t tell what Kahlan wanted from her. The Mother Confessor could have arrested her, put her in a cell, and yet, here she was, in her chambers, talking.

“I wanted to see if you could pull it off.” Kahlan shrugged.

Cara raised an eyebrow. “Even if it meant letting the children go?”

“I can still go after them.” Kahlan waved it off as if it was nothing.

“You won’t, and you want to know why?” This time it was Cara who took a step closer. “Because I did what you should have done.” She uncrossed her arms. “What you should know is right!”

“So you think you are fighting against injustice now?” Kahlan chuckled darkly. “I have to say, I’m impressed.” She paused to study Cara. “You are quite a warrior, I’ll give you that, but it doesn’t change the fact that you disobeyed me.”

Here it was, the punishment, the threats Cara had been expecting since she stepped into the room. “Let me guess, you’re going to punish me for it.”

“I…” Kahlan opened her mouth and then closed it, a frown slowly appearing on her face. Then, she stepped forward and wrapped her hand around Cara’s neck.

Cara tried to reach for her agiel but suddenly, Kahlan pulled her closer and kissed her. She froze, surprised by the action. Her mind was screaming at her to pull away but somehow, her body took the lead and she opened her mouth to let Kahlan deepen the kiss. It was messy and passionate, full of anger and frustration but with the hint of something else too. Cara’s back hit the door and she felt Kahlan’s hand, the one that wasn’t squeezing her neck, move to her breast. “Kahlan…”

“Cara…” Kahlan breathed out as she slid her thigh between the blonde’s legs.

Hearing the need in their voices felt like a bucket of cold water and Cara finally remembered where she was and who she was with. She forcefully pushed Kahlan away and slammed the door open, fleeing the room as fast as she could.

Chapter Text

Kahlan had kissed her and it had felt wrong and yet, oh so right. The thought of a thing that usually wouldn’t make her think twice about was now torturing her, not the kiss per se, but the fact that she had liked it. Cara hated that, hated that she had let it go this far, she hadn’t only taken advantage of Kahlan, but she had also betrayed Lord Rahl’s trust and let Kahlan’s charm and their supposedly innocent flirting get to her.

Cara didn’t know how she ended up in the stables but the place was empty and it was what she needed at the moment. She grabbed her agiel, like she always did when her feelings and emotions were threatening to overwhelm her, and held it tight, the familiar bite of it grounding her. She needed to feel the pain course through her, she gripped it tighter and reveled in the known sensation. Cara let out a weary sigh, she didn’t know what to do now. She didn’t really want to stay but she didn’t know where to go either. If she left now, she wasn’t sure Kahlan wouldn’t try to retaliate and hurt Zedd, and going to see Richard was not an option either.

She stayed there, lost in thoughts, until at some point, Kahlan entered the stables. The Mother Confessor seemed to sigh in relief at the sight of the blonde. Cara was surprised to see her here, to be honest, she didn’t think the woman would even look for her, especially not in the middle of the night.

“I thought you had left,” Kahlan said quietly as she made her way next to her.

“I didn’t know you care, or that I was free to leave,” Cara replied as she fed a horse the last chunks of apple she had, not sparing a second glance at Kahlan before going to sit down on a haystack.

“You are not my prisoner,” Kahlan stated with a sincerity that Cara hadn’t heard in a while.

Her words only sparked the already simmering fire inside Cara. “Really?” After everything that had happened, it was hard to believe her.

“I’m sorry.” Kahlan sighed, sitting next to her. “I don’t know what came over me, I…” She shook her head as if deciding that it was better not to say what she had on her mind and instead went with “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Cara scoffed. “You didn’t.” She ignored the fact that she could barely make eye contact with Kahlan and that her lips were still tinkling from their kiss. It made her want to reach for her agiel again and feel its bite to get some semblance of control back but Kahlan was watching her so she fought back the impulse.

“I told you once, I like willing partners, I thought you were sharing my attraction despite everything but…” Kahlan trailed off, as if not knowing how to continue.

Cara stared at her this time. She sounded like the Kahlan she knew and she couldn’t understand why when, earlier in the day, the woman had been ready to hurt children. She had been fooled once by Kahlan’s alleged change of heart and she refused to let it happen again. Once was more than enough, “If this is some kind of game you’re playing, let me tell you that I’m not in the mood.”

“Believe it or not, I wish this was all a game…” Kahlan confessed as she ran a hand through her hair.

Cara frowned. “What do you mean?”

“After we… After you left, I had a flash of memory, of us laughing together. There was companionship between us but I also remember something else, something that inspired loathing. It would make sense, after all you are a Mord’Sith but… I know I should hate you and yet… I don’t. I don’t think my other self did either.” Kahlan explained. “Somehow, I feel like… I feel like I can trust you and I don’t even know why. So…” She reached out to take Cara’s hand but seemed to think better of it. “I want to know more.” She finished quietly.

“I…” Cara blinked, surprised by the confession. She might not be a Confessor but she was good at reading people and she could tell Kahlan was confused and more troubled than usual. Still, she didn’t know what else she could do if Kahlan kept refusing her help. “You don’t want to go back to who you were, what’s the point?” There was a hint of defeat in her voice.

“I still want to understand. You said our relationship is complicated, why?” Kahlan searched for her eyes again.

If Kahlan was really letting her guard down this time, Cara didn’t want to send her away so she tried to be honest. “You said it, you are a Confessor and I am a Mord’Sith, it’s as simple and as complicated as that.”

“Are you attracted to your Kahlan?” The Mother Confessor asked suddenly.

“What? No!” Cara said quickly. “And she is with someone.”

“Mhh, see? That’s why I cannot go back to that version of myself, who in their right mind wouldn’t want to be with you?” Kahlan declared with the merest hint of a smile.

Although Cara was sure it was a jest, she couldn’t detect any teasing in Kahlan’s voice, however, there was plenty of sincerity in her eyes. It was too much for her so she looked away. “I don’t need your flattery.”

Kahlan gave her one last glance before standing up. She looked around the stables and pointed at a horse. “This one is Hester, she’s an Akhal-Teke and the quickest and most reliable horse in my stables. You can borrow this one and go see the Seeker if you’d like to check on the children. You could go on foot as well but it will be much faster this way.”

Cara stood up to see what horse Kahan was pointing at. Hester was unlike any horse she had seen until now; her coat was like liquid gold with white socks on all four of her feet and a small star in the middle of her forehead. “Why would you let me go?”

“I told you, you’re not my prisoner,” Kahlan repeated.

“You would trust me to come back? With no threat to hurt Zedd?” The blonde was incredulous now, unsure of what exactly was happening but a big part of her was glad that they could have a more honest conversation.

“I have an inkling that you will come back anyway,” Kahlan replied.

The Mother Confessor didn’t comment on making threats but Cara was glad to see a small, perhaps even hopeful smile grace Kahlan’s lips and she found herself mirroring hers unconsciously.

Despite the late hour, Cara left the palace right away, needing to put distance between her and Kahlan. Since she wasn’t ready to see Richard just yet, she rode aimlessly for a while, torch in hand until the first rays of sunshine appeared.

By early morning, Cara entered the inn with a tired sigh. She made her way to Richard’s room and after taking a deep breath, she knocked.

After a short wait, Richard opened the door. “Cara?!”

“Richard.” Cara moved past him and entered the room. She stopped when she saw the two children that she had helped sound asleep in the bed. She looked to the side and spotted a pillow and a blanket on the floor.

“Let them sleep,” Richard told her quietly, touching her shoulder and motioning for her to follow him.

Cara followed him to the practically empty tavern and sat down opposite him. “I see the children found you.”

“Yes, but I have to admit, I was quite surprised,” Richard answered, his voice lacking his usual warmth. “I haven’t heard from you in weeks and suddenly children are knocking on my door, telling me you sent them.”

Cara frowned. “I was locked in my chambers half the time; do you really think I had the liberty to send you a missive?” She didn’t like the implication that she had ignored him on purpose. The last time she checked, he hadn’t tried to contact her either.

“But you’re here now, what happened?” Richard questioned as he studied Cara’s face. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Kahlan wanted to punish the children for stealing apples so I had to do something. We fought but…” Cara looked down, unable to make eye contact as she remembered how their fight had ended. She cleared her throat. “She agreed to let me go so I could make sure they were alright.”

Richard nodded. “I’ll find them somewhere safe to stay.” He let out a tired sigh. “So, she still hasn’t remembered anything?”

“She remembers things but,” Cara shook her head in frustration. “No matter what I try, there is no sign of her compassion.”

“Yes, I heard you’ve been trying things,” Richard replied with a passive-aggressive tone. “At least, that’s what the rumors say.”

Cara squinted her eyes, looking at him suspiciously. It wasn’t just in her mind; the man was definitely standoffish. “I am not in the mood, if you have something to say, say it.”

“I am not accusing you of anything.” Richard started cautiously.

“Well, it feels like it!” Cara snapped. She had had a terrible day and she hadn’t slept yet; her patience was hanging by a thread.

“Some people say Kahlan got rid of Prince Fyren so she could be with you...” Richard blurted out.

“Are you still on that?” Cara groaned. “She keeps threatening me half the time!” It was less the case now but she wasn’t sure it would last after her ‘rebellious’ act. Besides, she was the one who killed the prince, it didn’t seem like the bards had caught up on that.

“Then why is she in your room late at night?” Richard insisted. “Because Alferon’s friend at the palace saw you together...”

“And that’s enough to assume the worst?” Cara could own up to the fact that they kissed, but she wasn’t the one who initiated it and she certainly wasn’t the one who relentlessly tried to seduce her.

“Well, I… No,” Richard frowned. “Not at first but then…”

“I am not having this talk with you again.” Cara shook her head.

“I’m sorry, I trust you. It’s just… I’ve been all alone here, not knowing how Zedd or you are doing. I tried to gather the Resistance but after some of them got arrested, the others were too scared to try anything. I also thought about calling some D’Haran soldiers loyal to me but Kahlan would see it as an act of war and I don’t want to make things worse.” Richard let out a rueful sigh. “I’m the Seeker, I’m supposed to find answers, to abolish ignorance and vanquish evils and I can’t even help the woman I love or the people I care about. I can’t even fulfill my quest, I tried to follow the compass for a while but I ran into too many banelings, it’s like they are everywhere now. I… I can’t do this on my own, I need you all by my side so… here I am…”

Cara was glad to hear that he had tried some things but she wasn’t about to tell him that he had it harder than her. “We need a new plan.”

“I have one but you’re not going to like it,” Richard said with a sheepish look. “When I didn’t receive any news from you, I sent word to Dennee so she could come and help us.”

“Without consulting me?” Cara’s blood turned cold.

Richard rubbed his neck and slightly squirmed on his chair. “Like I said, I didn’t know what you were…”

“Why would you think it’s a good idea?” Cara cut him off. “I’m the one who killed Dennee, she’s not going to appreciate me being around her sister. And how do you think Kahlan is going to feel once she realizes her sister is different and it’s all because of me?” Her voice rose. “All it’s going to achieve is push Kahlan toward vengeance and toward a dark path she might not come back from.”

“I don’t think we have a choice and don’t worry, I told Dennee you were helping.” Richard tried to reassure her.

Richard was always so prompt to tell her that they were friends, that he cared about her and wasn’t her master and yet, the moment he felt like losing control, he was more than ready to put her life on the line. She believed he was the opposite of his brother but when he was acting that way, he just sounded like a Rahl. “Are you willing to bet my life on the fact that Dennee won’t convince Kahlan to seek retribution?” She would give her life for him but his attitude had left a bad taste in her mouth and for the first time since she had joined Richard, she was starting to question her loyalty. She refused to die just because he was jealous and bitter.

“Cara,” Richard looked hurt by the accusation. “You know I would never…”

“How long do I have?” Cara interrupted him, the last thing she wanted was to hear another one of his apologies.

Richard ran a hand through his hair. “A few days.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Cara glared at him. “All of this could have been avoided if Kahlan had gone back to Aydindril occasionally, she knows it, I know it but you, Richard, refuse to admit that you have your part of responsibility in all this, because you selfishly wanted to keep Kahlan by your side.” She stood up.

“You weren’t there, you don’t know.” Richard defended himself. “Kahlan was the one who made that choice.”

“Maybe, but I bet you didn’t even try to convince her otherwise.” Cara shook her head before leaving the tavern.

Cara was enraged when she returned to the palace, her thoughts loud and jumbled inside her head. She felt betrayed by Richard’s rash decision and once inside the palace, her feet carried her directly to her chambers. She couldn’t focus on that, she needed to prepare Kahlan for what, or better yet, who, was about to come soon enough.

Despite the exhaustion slowly gripping her body, Cara felt too restless to sleep, her mind replaying her conversation with Richard. This wasn’t why she had joined him in the first place. Granted, at first, it had felt like she owed him loyalty just because of the blood running through his veins but she had slowly come to realize that there were worse men than Richard to follow. He was much kinder than Darken, albeit a bit too mushy, trusting, and naïve for his own good. Still, it was hard to see her relationship with the Lord Rahl as a friendship sometimes, even if he seemed to value her not as a plaything or a servant but almost as an equal, a friend. That was also why his recent attitude annoyed her so much.

Cara suddenly felt plagued with doubts. Sometimes, things were too confusing for her, she wasn’t sure where she stood, how much of a Mord’Sith she still was, and how much of Cara Mason she was becoming, a woman who chose for herself who to follow and what to fight for instead of just following orders. She wasn’t even sure where her place was anymore, in D’Hara, on the road with the Seeker, or even if she needed to find her own separate path. Was she a good person now, did the bad things she had done suddenly not count? Or was forgiveness completely out of her reach no matter how much she tried? The world was a confusing place for a Mord’Sith with a mind of her own, she wasn’t good but she wasn’t rotten bad either, where did that leave her then?

It had always made her scoff when someone called her ‘nice’ or ‘good’ because she didn’t think she deserved or earned those words yet. Her mind enjoyed torturing her with such complexities so to silence it, she often told herself that she was just the companion who did the dirty work, the one who made sure they all survived. Except, it wasn’t working with Kahlan this time. Cara was on her own, making her own decisions to help someone who didn’t want to be helped and didn’t need to be saved.

A couple of candlemarks later, Kahlan found her there, sitting in her room and looking through the window, still lost in thought.

“I knew you’d come back but I didn’t expect it to be so soon,” Kahlan smirked as she made her way inside her room. “Did it not go as planned or were you missing me?”

“Let’s stop pretending that you care, I’m still not in the mood.” Cara was annoyed and she knew that Kahlan could see it, hear it in her voice but it wasn’t like she was trying to hide it either.

Kahlan arched an eyebrow. “Well, someone is cranky this morning…” She paused, watching Cara’s face closely. “Is it the Seeker? Do you want me to arrest him?”

“Leave him be,” Cara warned. The last thing she needed was Kahlan going after Richard just because she gave her an excuse to do it.

“I know power when I see it. You are a leader all on your own, Cara, you don’t need a master.” Kahlan said after a moment of silence. “You once stood in front of me and told me that you weren’t my guard dog. I find it hard to believe that the same woman who did this would take orders from a man, no matter if he’s the Seeker or even the Lord Rahl himself.”

Cara snorted, the Mother Confessor had no idea how the two were one and the same. Still, she would be lying if she said her words didn’t echo within her a bit. This Kahlan’s freedom and leadership were almost inspiring, even if her lack of accountability was an evident problem. “Why are you telling me this?” She asked, eyeing Kahlan curiously.

“I am the Queen of queens, ruling in a matriarch society. I am the highest power there is and I hate to see men using women.” Kahlan declared with her head high.

Cara barely held back from rolling her eyes at Kahlan’s mighty speech. It was in those moments that Cara could see how different this Kahlan was, where the one she knew wasn’t conscious of how powerful she was, this one was all too aware of it. “How compassionate…”

“You might be a Mord’Sith, Cara, but I’ve seen kindness in you.” The Mother Confessor added.

Cara stared at her, perplexed at the way Kahlan was looking at her now. “You can’t read me and I am not kind.” She replied, refusing praise that she thought was underserved, especially when coming from this judiciary Kahlan. It wasn’t the first time the Mother Confessor had told her that but it was the first time that it felt so genuine.

“Don’t fish for compliments, you know it’s unbe…” Kahlan started answering with a hint of amusement but Cara interrupted her.

“I killed your sister.” The blonde blurted out to stop this seemingly honest and complimentary rant Kahlan had started. She balled her fists and moved in front of Kahlan.

Kahlan’s eyes widened in surprise. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times as she took Cara’s words in. “What? But I saw Dennee…” She paused, scrunching her eyebrows in thought. “I can’t remember when I last saw her.” She finally admitted confused.

Cara couldn’t stop the words that came next, there was no way back now. “We were asked by Darken Rahl to kill the rest of the Confessors on Valeria and bring back the male Confessor that had been born.” She began telling the whole story.

“Male Confessor?” Kahlan gasped. “What are you talking about?” 

“Your sister… she had a child, a son. Richard convinced you not to kill him and so Dennee left for Valeria with him.” Cara supplied the details missing in Kahlan’s mind. When she had first joined Richard and his group back after StoweCroft, he had given her more details about what had happened and asked her to give Kahlan some time and space to process. She didn’t have that luxury now.

“Male Confessor should be killed,” Kahlan stated, her jaw hardening. “It is the law.”

“It might be the case but she’s your sister and…” The Mord’Sith tried to argue but she wasn’t the best one to judge here.

“It doesn’t matter, the law is the law!” Kahlan said, her voice hard as steel.

“Well, I wasn’t there.” Cara was to blame for a lot of things, but not that. She was just repeating what she had heard. “But the child…”

“I do not care about the child! I want to know what happened to Dennee?” Kahlan’s voice was raised now and she was looking at Cara angrily.

The blonde could see that the other woman was losing her patience and decided to cut to the important part of the story. “When we arrived on Valeria, the mother sacrificed the baby so we couldn't take it.” It felt like déjà vu, a painful one but this time, she could identify the emotions brewing inside her heart, it was guilt, regret, and even remorse. They were stronger this time around because she knew Kahlan and they were companions who, if nothing else, respected each other. “I gave her a swift and painless death…”

Kahlan slapped her hard and Cara took it without flinching. When Kahlan pushed her and Cara once again didn’t try to retaliate, the woman seemed to realize that Cara wouldn’t fight her back.

The blonde saw the annoyance on the Mother Confessor’s face at her lack of reaction, it was also mixed with rage. She knew this Kahlan didn’t need to enter Con’Dar to make her feel the worst torments but she refused to fight her. Suddenly, Cara felt a hand wrap around her throat and hold her tightly.

“Give me one good reason not to confess you right here, right now.” Kahlan barked, her pupils slightly darkening.

“Dennee came back to life.” Cara croaked due to the choking grip on her neck. It made Kahlan freeze so she kept talking. “A dark enchanter brought her soul back into the body of a harlot. She’s alive.”

“No… I… Why can’t I remember this? She’s my little sister…” Kahlan murmured as her eyes turned glassy.

“I’m sorry.” The words spilled out of Cara’s mouth before she could stop them. She wasn’t even sure what she was apologizing for, for hurting Dennee, for hurting Kahlan and doing it once more with this revelation, or both.

“Shut up!” There was fury in Kahlan’s eyes but then, she took another look at Cara and frowned. “I can see remorse in your eyes, it’s impossible…” She let out a frustrated grumble and let go of her hold. Then, she stepped back and bent over, holding her head in pain.

“Kahlan!” Cara tried to reach out but Kahlan pushed her away.

“Don’t touch me!” Kahlan spat then moaned in pain. She took a deep breath, blinking a few times to try and focus on Cara. “Why are you telling me this? Why now?”

“Because Dennee is on her way. Richard asked her to help you.” Cara admitted uncomfortably.

“I don’t need help!” Kahlan roared, before once again wincing in agony.

“What’s wrong, what’s happening to you?” Cara asked with a frown of worry and a hint of panic.

Kahlan tried to stand straighter but she felt incredibly dizzy, she couldn’t keep her balance but thankfully, Cara caught her on time, just as the Confessor lost consciousness and her body slumped down.

Cara placed her hands better on Kahlan’s body, making sure she held her securely before carrying her to her bed. She carefully lay Kahlan’s head on the pillow and sat by her side, watching over her.

The blonde lost track of time, she wasn’t sure how long Kahlan stayed unconscious but eventually, the woman opened her eyes and moved just a bit closer to her.

“What happened?” Kahlan questioned, unsure of how she had ended up in Cara’s bed.

“You fainted.” That was all Cara knew to say, she couldn’t handle telling Kahlan a third time about Dennee if she had forgotten about it again.

“I was assaulted with a lot of memories all at once and then...” Kahlan trailed off and then shook her head. “I remember you admitting everything after we set camp moons ago.” She cleared her throat. “I also remember you in Stowecroft. It’s all bits and pieces for now but it’s clearer than before and Dennee, I… I remember holding her in her new body.” She spoke then hissed and held her head again. “My head…”

“I should call the healer.” Cara offered but Kahlan refused. “Kahlan,” Her voice was firm now. “This is serious.”

Kahlan hesitated but then allowed the true motive behind her words to be voiced aloud. “I can’t be seen as weak.” 

“I know you confessed the healer,” Cara rolled her eyes. “He won’t talk.”

“No, but others can,” Kahlan added in a small but unwavering voice.

“Then say it’s for me, I don’t care, just summon him.” Cara insisted.  She might not be well versed in the art of medicine but what had happened to Kahlan wasn’t normal, even with magic involved and she wanted to make sure the amulet hadn’t caused any physical damage on top of the rest.

Kahlan stared at her with a cryptid expression on her face. “Why would you do that? Why would you help me? I was ready to kill you.”

Cara looked at her. Kahlan looked soft with her hair cascading on the pillow and her body relaxed next to hers. She had to gather most of her willpower to tear her eyes away from that sight. “Well, you didn’t. You’ll have plenty of time to regret that but for now, we need to know what’s happening to you.”

Kahlan gave her a weak chuckle. “You’re supposed to follow my orders, not the other way around.”

Glad that the conversation was going to a safer place, Cara allowed herself a light tease to lighten the situation. “We’re in my bed, I didn’t think you would mind.” She felt a hand on her thigh and looked down at it. She had never paid attention to the freckles on Kahlan’s hand and how they spread all over her body, forming constellations she had never seen before but part of her wished she could memorize. That passing thought and Kahlan’s hand going lower to squeeze her knee made her eyes go wide and she rushed out of bed. “Stay here, I’m going to go get the healer.”

“You changed…” Kahlan’s words made Cara stop mid-step.

“What?” The Mord’Sith’s voice sounded hesitant now.

“I remember telling that to Dennee when she tried to kill you, I told her you were our ally and… Is that why you said our relationship was complicated?” Kahlan pushed, wanting to know.

“Yes. We’re not friends, but we’re… something. That’s enough for me to help you since you’ve been wondering.”  And with that, Cara walked out of the room. 

Kahlan avoided her for the rest of the day and for a while, Cara worried about where their last conversation had left them. She still saw glimpses of white around the palace, letting her know that Kahlan felt good enough to keep up with her busy schedule but the woman never asked to see her and it made Cara wonder if she was still mad at her. It would be well deserved for once but what puzzled Cara the most was that, despite Kahlan’s lack of compassion, her reaction had been less violent than the real Kahlan, no Con Dar, no banishment, just pure anger.

At night, there was a knock on Cara’s door and soon after, Kahlan entered the room. Cara watched as the woman closed the door behind her but didn’t step further. She stared at her for a moment and if she didn’t know better, she would say Kahlan looked hesitant. Wordlessly, Kahlan started moving and sat at the foot of the bed.

Cara simply rested her back more comfortably on the bedframe and continued to watch her. She was not ready for another fight so whatever the reason was for her visit, Kahlan would have to be the one starting the conversation.

Kahlan sighed and then finally said. “I have questions.”

“Okay,” Cara replied with an even voice.

“Would you mind answering them?” Kahlan asked, arching an eyebrow.

Cara raised an eyebrow back. “No order this time?” Kahlan hadn’t forced her to answer any of her queries in a while but she wasn’t foolish enough to think it couldn’t happen again.

“No.” Kahlan let out another weary sigh as she massaged her temples.

Cara frowned. She could tell Kahlan wasn’t feeling a lot better so she held back her retort. “Fine.”

“Why did you give my sister a swift death?” Kahlan questioned, her eyes locked with Cara’s.

It was the first time anyone had ever asked her that and Cara didn’t even know how to answer. She had never questioned it. She just remembered seeing Dennee, kneeling down in front of the water with her lifeless baby in her arms. She could still see the emptiness in her eyes when they first made eye contact and could still feel the weight of Dennee’s hopelessness. It had been clear that Dennee had already accepted her fate and wouldn’t try to fight back. Cara remembered thinking in that moment that there was no point in prolonging her suffering. “She had already lost everything and I…” She trailed off.

“And you showed mercy,” Kahlan said, sounding half-surprised and half in awe.

Cara shook her head. “I don’t know if we can call it that.”

“Mhh…” Kahlan studied her in silence for a moment. “You were right.”

“It’s always nice to hear,” Cara smirked, trying to steer away from their uncomfortable conversation. “But about what?”

“You are not just any Mord’Sith. You’re…” Kahlan clapped her mouth shut and shook her head. “Thank you for your honesty.”

Cara’s eyebrows rose in surprise, it was the first time Kahlan was thanking her for something, or at least, not in a taunting way. “What about your other questions?”

“I think that’s enough for now,” Kahlan stated but showed no sign of moving. Instead, she leaned back and rested her elbows on the bed.

“You are not sleeping in my bed tonight, Mother Confessor.” Cara declared as she playfully pushed Kahlan’s arm with her foot.

Kahlan laughed, light but genuine. “It’s still early.” She rolled to her side. “Why don’t we play farkle?”

“Want your revenge again?” Cara teased, happy to change the topic and also maybe, a tiny bit relieved that Kahlan wasn’t mad at her, that this Kahlan, just like the one she knew had decided to offer her, if not forgiveness, a chance to move past something none of them could change.

Kahlan gasped. “I won last time!”

“I won’t give you a chance this time.” Cara hopped off the bed.

As they settled at the table, Cara felt like something had changed between them, like for the first time since she moved in, none of them was playing a role, like they had just called some kind of truce and Cara didn’t want to break the peace…

The next day, Cara once again barely saw Kahlan but this time, she knew the woman wasn’t avoiding her, the Mother Confessor just had a lot of work to do. Around supper time, a maid told her that Kahlan was waiting for her company but as Cara made her way toward the private dining room, the woman informed her that the Mother Confessor was in her chambers. It was a surprising change but Cara should know by now that this Kahlan was pretty unpredictable.

When Cara entered Kahlan’s chambers, the woman was sitting at the table, their dinner already set on the table. She raised a questioning eyebrow as she sat down.

“I wanted us to have some privacy without the help interrupting,” Kahlan answered the unspoken question. “I want you to tell me about my sister.”

Cara groaned. It was the last thing she wanted to talk about. “Dennee will be there soon; I think you should ask her.”

“I just want to know where she is right now.” Kahlan shrugged nonchalantly as she sipped on her wine.

“I thought you remembered.” Cara frowned. It was always hard to know how much Kahlan remembered after experiencing a flash of memory so she wondered for a moment if it was a test. She wanted to believe that they were past that point now but it never hurt to be careful.

“Not everything...” Kahlan let out a frustrated sigh.

Cara studied her, the slight frown on her face was letting her know that Kahlan was being truthful. She heaved a sigh. “The last time we saw her, she was living in a small village. She…” She paused to find the right words. It wasn’t something she was used to doing, being tactful, but somehow it felt important here. “Dennee’s living the life of the wh…” She stopped herself, maybe it wasn’t necessary to remind Kahlan of what the woman used to do for a living. “The woman she took the body of. Huh, the woman had a son and your sister is raising him as her own…”

“Oh…” Kahlan blinked in surprise.

“Yes.” Cara scratched the back of her neck. “He apparently reminds her of her own son…Well, I mean before…” She trailed off. She fought back a nervous leg shake at Kahlan’s heavy stare but she still looked down at her plate. She wasn’t a coward but she didn’t want to see the emotions in this Kahlan’s eyes. She didn’t want to realize that, despite insisting that the child should have died, the woman in front of her was still disappointed. She didn’t even know why she cared so much about what Kahlan thought of her, she shouldn’t, they owed nothing to each other, and yet…

“Do you regret what you did?” Kahlan questioned, lifting Cara’s chin with her index to force eye contact.

Cara pulled away from the touch but locked eyes with her. “I… Yes.” She clenched her jaw. She remembered apologizing when Kahlan was ready to kill her but she didn’t think that she ever clearly stated that fact aloud. She stood by what she had said the first time, she was just following orders but… she wished things could have been different.

Kahlan stayed silent for a long moment. “You keep surprising me…”

Cara could tell her the same thing but instead, she took a big gulp of her wine and started eating. After a while, she noticed that Kahlan wasn’t touching her food and looked up. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“I am, it’s just…” Kahlan answered but made no move to grab her fork. “You’re free.”

Cara frowned and swallowed her food before saying. “What?”

“My sister will be here soon and I don’t think it’s wise to force you to cohabitate, it would disturb the peace and order of the palace so...” Kahlan cleared her throat. “You are free to go back to the Seeker.”

“That’s weirdly… thoughtful of you.” Cara was definitely confused; she hadn’t expected Kahlan to let her go any time soon.

“And yet, you don’t seem happy.” Kahlan arched an eyebrow.

Cara didn’t know what to say. She had wanted to leave the palace quite often but now that she could, she didn’t know if it was still the case. She knew she didn’t feel like going back to Richard after their last conversation but most of all, it felt weird to leave Kahlan’s side after so long, not that she was ready to tell Kahlan that. “Is that what you want?”

Kahlan sighed. “I would like you to stay...” She admitted.

Cara could tell it came with conditions. “But?”

“If you do stay, you need to accept who I am,” Kahlan stated. “You can’t keep undermining my autho….”

“If I stay, will you release Zedd?” Cara interrupted, responding with a question instead of an answer.

“Not yet,” Kahlan shook her head. “Despite the memories I have, I still don’t feel like I can trust him.” She paused then added. “He did try to dethrone me after all.”

“Then I stay.” Cara declared. She once again believed that, with a bit more time, Kahlan’s spirit could be complete again.

Kahlan leaned closer with a smirk. “For him or for me?” When it was clear that Cara wouldn’t answer, she spoke again. “Did the cat get your tongue?”

“Why do you care?” Cara rolled her eyes. She hated when Kahlan was doing that, poking her to see how she would react.

“I want to know where your loyalty stands.” Kahlan leaned back in her seat and grabbed her glass, gently swirling her wine.

“Where does yours?” Cara fired back.

They stared at each other until Kahlan chuckled, breaking the tension. “You are a very stubborn woman.”

Cara smirked at her. “I could say the same about you.”

Kahlan smiled mischievously and pushed the bowl of fruits on the side of the table toward Cara. “Since you’re done with your plate, you should try the figs, they say it’s aphrodisiac…”

Cara groaned despite herself, making Kahlan laugh brightly before finally starting to eat her dinner.

After dinner, Kahlan asked Cara if she could visit her before bed like they had started doing every night before their fight. Cara found herself agreeing. “Bring your lucky dice, Mother Confessor.” She said before leaving the room.

Chapter Text

Cara and Kahlan were having lunch in the palace’s garden, in the gazebo. The weather was nice and Kahlan wanted to enjoy the sun after being stuck in her office all morning.

The cook had prepared a board full of cheese and charcuterie, with a pitcher of wine, and Cara would be lying if she said she didn’t like it.

“The wine is better than usual, your personal reserve, Mother Confessor?” Cara asked before taking another sip of the red liquid.

“No,” Kahlan chuckled, stabbing a piece of cheese with her fork and bringing it to her mouth. “Mhh, Creator, you have to try this one!” She grabbed another piece with her thumb and index and brought it to Cara’s mouth.

Cara frowned, leaning away. “I am not a baby; I don’t need to be f...” Kahlan pushed the food into her mouth before she could finish so she bit her finger in retaliation.  

Kahlan let out a moan and stared at Cara’s lips. “You…”

Suddenly, Dennee appeared in front of them, a cross-look on her face. Cara choked on her piece of cheese at the surprise appearance and started coughing. She hadn’t expected Dennee to arrive before the next day. Kahlan reached out to pat her back but she quickly pulled away, half falling off her seat in the process.

Dennee glared at Cara before softening her features as she turned to her sister. “Kahlan,” She smiled, clearly happy to see her again. “It’s me, Dennee. I know I don’t look the same but I’m your sister. Do you… remember me?”

“Yes,” Kahlan answered with a genuine smile. “Not everything but Cara told me what happened to you.”

Dennee glanced back at the blonde. “She did?” She raised a questioning eyebrow.

Cara cleared her throat and nodded. “That’s why I’m here.”

“You could have fooled me.” Dennee pointedly looked at the food on the table.

Ignoring the exchange, Kahlan stood up and hugged her sister tightly before pulling away. “Why don’t you join us?”

“I’d prefer if we could talk in private,” Dennee stated, crossing her arms.

Cara shot up from her seat, the legs of her chair screeching noisily on the wooden floor. “I’ll leave you to it.” She wasn’t fleeing, she was just aware that the sisters had a lot to talk about and didn’t want to hear them squeal like school girls.

Kahlan grabbed Cara’s wrist to stop her. “No, stay!” She quickly noticed the deep frown on her sister’s face and winced. “Oh… yes…”

“It’s fine.” Cara pulled her hand away. “I’ll be in my chambers.” She nodded curtly at them before leaving.

Cara didn’t know how long she stayed in her room, cleaning and oiling her leather but as she was putting her boots back on, she started hearing shouting coming from the garden. She glanced at the open window with a frown. It sounded like Kahlan and Dennee were arguing about something but she couldn’t say what. She was confused; when she left the sisters, they seemed eager to catch up and now they were yelling at each other so loudly that the whole south wing of the palace could hear them.

Not wanting to get caught in the middle of whatever was going on, Cara closed the window and sat at the table to eat lunch. Since she had left Kahlan before she could really eat, she had asked a maid to bring her food.

Cara was halfway through her dessert when someone barged into her room. She expected to see Kahlan - even though the woman had the courtesy to knock lately - but instead, it was Dennee who was standing in the middle of her chambers. Well, that was a surprise. Cara could tell by the way the woman was holding herself that she was angry and ready to take it out on her but she didn’t move and kept eating her fruits.

“What did you tell Kahlan about my son?” Dennee asked in a harsh voice.

Cara took the time to swallow her food before answering. “Nothing.”

“Liar!” Dennee barked, pointing an accusatory finger at her.

Cara sighed, so much for staying out of their fight. “Kahlan remembered what happened all on her own.”

“Then why did she say that I should have killed my son sooner and maybe things would have been different?” Dennee questioned, her voice slowly losing its strength. “I know the rules but…” She shook her head before making her way to the table and sitting the furthest away from Cara with a weary sigh.

“I don’t know, I am not in Kahlan’s head but it was not me.” Cara insisted just so they were clear. The last thing she needed was to be accused of brainwashing Kahlan. “This,” She waved her hand around. “Is the Kahlan I have been dealing with since it all started and yet, you all seem to think that you can barge in here and fix everything as if it’s the easiest thing in the world,” Her voice rose slightly. She let out a sigh and ran a hand through her hair. She grabbed her glass and took a big gulp of her wine to wash away her frustration. Just as she was about to ask Dennee if she was planning on staying here, she realized the woman had started crying.

“But she’s my sister,” Dennee sniffled, angrily wiping tears away from her eyes. “How could she say all those things? About me, about Finn and…”

Cara squirmed in her seat slightly. She wasn’t equipped to deal with this kind of situation and felt really uncomfortable at the display of emotion. Her mind briefly went to Kahlan and what she would say if she were here. She knew antagonizing Dennee wouldn’t help anyone in the long run and if the woman couldn’t hold back her tears in front of her, it meant that her fight with Kahlan must have really hurt her. “She’s not your sister at the moment, at least not completely, I’m sure…” She cleared her throat. “I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”

Dennee scoffed. “Please, don’t give me platitudes.”

“It’s not platitudes.” Cara rolled her eyes; she didn’t even know why she bothered. Dennee sniffled again so she pushed a napkin toward her. “Clean yourself, you look a mess and I’m not done eating.”  

Dennee ignored the comment but took the napkin nonetheless. “She’s mean, and… and rude!” She blew her nose.

Cara snorted despite herself. “That’s an understatement.”

“Maybe that’s why she seems to like you,” Dennee stated, clearly having recovered from her breakdown.

Cara rolled her eyes once more. “And here I thought the real Dennee had left the room.” She grabbed a couple of cherries and popped them into her mouth.

“You would enjoy that, wouldn’t you?” Dennee replied, the accusation clear in her voice.

“Listen,” Cara spat the pits in her plate and continued. “I don’t like it either but if we want to help Kahlan, we’re going to have to get along.”

Dennee studied her for a while then sighed. “As much as I hate to admit it, it’s clear that whatever you did helped her remember some things so for Kahlan’s sake, I agree to work with you but I still don’t like you.”

“Didn’t expect you to,” Cara answered, unfazed. She took one last sip of her drink and wiped her mouth. 

“Good.” Dennee nodded, apparently pleased with their agreement.  

“Do you know where Kahlan is?” Cara stood up. If Kahlan was angry, there was no way to know what she could do to the people in the palace and Cara would prefer it if not everyone around her was confessed.

“She was upset so I suppose she’s taking a walk around the lake; it usually helps her…” Dennee revealed.

Cara nodded; it was good to know. “I’ll go check on her.” She made her way to the door.

“If I didn’t know any better,” Dennee started, turning around in her seat to watch her. “I would think you care.”

“You know nothing,” Cara said over her shoulder before leaving the room.

Cara saw Kahlan in the distance, sitting alone on a rock with the water lapping at her feet. Kahlan hadn’t brought her there yet, that was why it took her so long to find the right spot but seeing it now, she could understand why the other woman liked it.

Unlike the rest of the garden, the lake was further away from the palace and people rarely wandered there for no reason. The surroundings looked more unkept than she had expected but the water was crystalline and cold as ice. As Cara moved closer, she could see stones and pebbles of all colors and shapes under the surface.

She walked up to Kahlan slowly, she didn’t want to make it look like she was spying on her so she walked on the gravel with more weight than necessary, just so she could announce her presence. She knew Kahlan didn’t want to be seen as ‘weak’ and wanted to respect her wish but she also wanted to be there for her.

Cara took a few more steps and finally realized Kahlan was crying. The woman quickly wiped the tears away from her face and put her impassive mask back on before looking at her. That caught Cara completely by surprise and confused her as well because she didn’t even think this version of Kahlan was capable of that. She should have known that Kahlan wasn’t soulless, no version of Kahlan could ever be. The woman was just not as attuned to her feelings as she used to be, especially the softer ones that usually guided her previous self. “Do you want to spar to get rid of your frustrations?” Cara offered, unsure of what else she could actually say in this case. Dealing with crying people had never been her forte but unlike with Dennee, she was willing to try.

“No, thanks.” Kahlan gave her a watery chuckle. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. It’s like talking to Dennee has awoken something in me, feelings and I can’t stop them.” Kahlan explained without prompting as Cara sat next to her on the rock. “I hate it…” She sighed.

 “Siblings fight, it happens all the time,” Cara said with a shrug.

“What would you know about that?” Kahlan questioned, her tone half-judging, half-curious.

“I… have a sister,” Cara admitted and saw the other woman stare at her in surprise.

Kahlan had the hint of a smile when she asked, “What’s her name?”

“Grace,” The blonde answered as she let her thoughts drift to her sister, maybe she should visit her once this was all over.

Kahlan fell silent and leaned slightly against Cara’s shoulder. “It’s not just my sister, I’m confused all the time lately, plagued with memories. I…” She sighed again in frustration.

“I usually want you to stop talking so, I am aware of how ironic this is going to sound but, do you want to talk about it?” Cara asked. Aside from her joking voice, her offer was sincere and she hoped Kahlan could see that. If Dennee’s arrival had unlocked something, perhaps she could help Kahlan navigate through it.

Kahlan turned her head and smiled a soft smile that she hadn’t used in a while. Then, she glanced at Cara’s lips and slowly leaned forward to kiss her but the blonde pulled away. “Please, Cara...” She breathed out.

Cara didn’t know what broke her resolve, if it was the needy and pleading tone of Kahlan’s voice or the way she looked at her but when Kahlan tried to kiss her again, she let her. Their lips touched and for a moment, Cara allowed herself to get lost in the sensation. She told herself that it was all because she didn’t like to see Kahlan sad but she knew it wasn’t the truth so she quickly broke the kiss and pulled away again. She stood up abruptly, to put distance between them, but then she realized Kahlan was looking at her as if she was expecting her to flee once again so instead, she stood still and offered her hand to the Confessor. “I want to help but not like this.” She saw Kahlan hesitate and asked, “Do you need a moment?”

Kahlan threw one last glance at the lake before focusing on Cara, both of them looking at each other as if each was searching for something in the other and after a short moment of contemplation, Kahlan sighed and nodded. “Let’s go back to the palace.” She took Cara’s hand and didn’t let go.

When the two women arrived back at the palace, Cara was quickly left behind by Kahlan who had matters to attend to. Since Cara didn’t feel like going back to her chambers, she made her way to the stables. Once there, she threatened the stable master until he agreed to let her help with the horses. She felt frustrated and since she couldn’t fight to blow off some steam, she decided to do something useful instead.

After a candlemark, Cara left the stables to bathe. With nothing to keep herself busy as she rested her body in the water, her mind drifted back to Kahlan and the kiss they had shared. It had been very different from the first one, short but slow and sweet, and she didn’t know what to think about that, just like she didn’t know why she had let it happen. It had felt … nice. She shook her head to stop thinking about that and stood up, time to get dressed.

Once she was done, she slowly made her way back to her chambers. She had barely stepped inside when Dennee barged in. “Are you planning on doing that all the time? Do I need to teach you the concept of knocking?” She asked in annoyance. She really didn’t feel like talking to Dennee right now.

“You convinced Kahlan to come back with you instead of staying behind,” Dennee stated, crossing her arms.

“You seem surprised?” Cara raised an eyebrow.

“It is more than I expected from you, which isn’t much.” Dennee shrugged.

Cara pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation, it hadn’t taken long for Dennee to start the hostility. She took a calming breath and answered. “The point of burying the hatchet is to not throw it at each other’s faces a moment later.”

“I’m just having a hard time believing that you’re here to help,” Dennee answered honestly, not even trying to hide her suspicions. “Your kind isn’t…”

“You don’t know me.” Cara cut her off. “I know what I did to you, I apologized and I know it will never be enough but right now, it doesn’t matter. I am not asking for your friendship, I thought we made that very clear.” She was done playing nice, if Dennee couldn’t handle the situation, then she was free to leave. “I don’t care what you think about me but I want to help Kahlan. Now, are you with me or against me?” She arched a questioning eyebrow. “Because I am not having this conversation with you again after today.”

“I stand by what I said, I could never forgive you but…” Dennee sighed and uncrossed her arms. “Even though I don’t understand why, I can see my sister cares about you, even this… lost version of herself seems to so, I’ll try to keep it civil.”

A knock on the door interrupted them. “What?” Cara barked. What did she have to do to have some peace and quiet around here?

A maid entered and after apologizing, the woman told them dinner was ready. “Mistress said you are both expected.”

When Cara and Dennee entered the dining room, Kahlan was already waiting for them. Cara sat at the opposite end of the table and let Dennee sit in the middle. For a moment, only the sound of cutlery clinking against the dishes could be heard in the room and it was fine with Cara but then, Dennee cleared her throat and started talking.  

“The lamb tastes good, different but good,” Dennee stated, looking at the piece of meat on her fork. “Do we have a new cook?”

“You noticed!” Kahlan smiled lightly. “I suspected the last one of wanting to poison me when I first arrived so I confessed him and now, he cleans the latrines.”

Dennee’s eyes went wide in surprise at the statement. She glanced at Cara who simply shrugged and took a sip of her wine. “Well, the new one is… good.”

“And this one isn’t confessed.” Kahlan reached for her glass and smirked. “Yet.” She took a sip of her wine.

“Good to know…” Dennee pursed her lips.

Cara held back a snort at Dennee’s reaction. Kahlan might have some of her emotions back but clearly, remorse and shame weren’t among them. Maybe it would help Dennee realize that fixing the situation wasn’t that easy.

They continued eating in a tense and awkward silence after that…

The first couple of days after Dennee’s arrival, Cara almost didn’t see Kahlan at all, except in the evening. The woman had been spending most of her time with her sister which, of course, Cara had expected. It wasn’t like she missed Kahlan’s company or anything, nor the way the brunette teased her with that annoying yet charming smirk on her face, no, Cara simply felt strange to have so much free time to herself. However, Cara had started to notice all the lingering, soft looks, all the fleeting glances Kahlan was giving her every time they saw each other in passing and she didn’t know what to do with that.

A big part of their dinners proved to be almost as tortuous for Cara as wearing a dress was. Since Kahlan insisted that she should be present, she had to hear Dennee’s incessant rambling about Richard and Zedd and how they were good people. Cara was pretty amazed that Kahlan hadn’t told her off yet. However, judging by the growing look of annoyance on the Mother Confessor’s face, Cara could tell she was dangerously close to doing it.

Kahlan’s patience ran out on the third night. They were having supper when Dennee made the calamitous mistake of telling Kahlan about how much Richard was missing her and how she remembered seeing them happy together.

“I saw how Richard looked at you, how you two were with my adoptive son, you looked like a family, and perhaps one day, you and the Seeker could build your own. Richard loves you so much and you love him, maybe you could still find a way to be together and...” Dennee spoke but Kahlan interrupted her.

“That relationship was doomed from the start, not to mention that there was no way it could have been consummated and my duty is to continue the line of Confessors.” Kahlan’s voice was steady and unwavering. “There is no place for feelings.” She added although she glanced at Cara.

“But maybe if you release Zedd, he could look for something, he could even find a way for you two to have children without…” Dennee trailed off. “Or maybe you could use a Rada'Han?”

Kahlan’s eyes snapped back at her. “Use a Rada'Han?” Her voice was filled with outrage now. “I refuse to lock a part of myself away for him or anyone else! Besides, do you have any idea what a Rada'Han does? Do you know it makes you feel like a part of yourself is sealed away, out of your reach, no matter how much you try to get it back? Why would I willingly want to submit myself to that?” Her words resonated around the room, followed by a heavy silence.

Dennee looked apologetic but didn’t speak again. She seemed to think that it was better to let Kahlan calm down before trying to apologize for her comment.

“And this is the last time I’ll say this but, I am not interested in Richard.” Kahlan declared, locking eyes with Dennee before she pushed her chair back. “I lost my appetite.” She said as she got up to her feet and walked out of the room.

Dennee sighed and massaged her temples; she probably hadn’t intended for her words to sound the way they did but Cara still wasn’t sure what other reaction she had expected. From what the blonde had gathered, Dennee wasn’t really one for romance, unlike Kahlan, so she had probably offered ideas for her sister’s sake more than her own belief.

“I tried everything I could think of and nothing seems to be working so far.” Dennee heaved another sigh. “If anything, it only seems to be pushing Kahlan further away from her previous self.”

“Maybe that’s because you’re not using the right technique. You should try something else.” Cara spoke. 

“And what exactly have you been doing?” Dennee was quick to bite back.

“Well to start with, I haven’t forced her to directly speak about Richard and Zedd when she clearly has no interest in them,” Cara answered seriously, not taking the bait. “However, when I talk about our travels, things we did together, and mention Richard and Zedd in them, then it’s not as much of a problem. I’ve also shown her things that could help her remember or at least, stir up a random memory. Do you want to hear about it or do you want to judge me some more?”

“No, I… Please, continue.” Dennee replied.

So Cara began talking about her time with Kahlan at the Ambrosio’s tavern and for the first time ever, Dennee let her talk, nodding thoughtfully.

As the days passed, Cara assumed she wouldn’t get to spend much time with Kahlan but the Mother Confessor quickly proved her wrong.

Cara was making her way to the private dining room, thinking that she was going to witness another tense exchange between the sisters but when she entered the room, Kahlan was alone.

“Hey,” Kahlan greeted her with a small, soft smile.

“Where is Dennee?” Cara questioned as she looked around the room. There were only two plates and the second one was set right next to Kahlan’s instead of on the opposite side of the table like before. “Did you two have a fight again?” She hoped not because she didn’t want to hear Kahlan complain about it all supper.

“No,” Kahlan shook her head. “I thought it could be just us tonight…”

“Why?” Cara squinted her eyes in suspicion as she sat down.

Kahlan shrugged. “We haven’t seen each other much lately; I wouldn’t want you to seek company elsewhere.”

“Like the pretty maid who feeds me honey cakes for example?” Cara snorted. She searched Kahlan’s eyes and could tell it wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the whole truth either. “What’s the real reason?”

“I told you, it’s not because my sister is here that we can’t see each other.” Kahlan insisted, then sighed. “And… as much as I love having Dennee here, it’s…”

“A lot?” Cara offered. She knew Kahlan still had headaches and remembering things more often now that Dennee was here didn’t help. She also suspected Kahlan to hide all that from her sister.

Kahlan nodded. “I also have questions.”

“Go ahead.” Cara held back a sigh. She was aware that it usually helped Kahlan fill the blanks but after days with Dennee, she was a bit wary of the kind of questions she would get asked.

“Do you think I’m in love with Richard?” Kahlan questioned. “Love isn’t for Confessors and yet, Dennee keeps insisting that I was an exception.”

Well, it was exactly the type of questions Cara didn’t want to answer. She wondered if Kahlan’s feelings for Richard were coming back or if she just was confused. She didn’t think it was her place to answer, it was Kahlan’s love life after all, not hers, and yet, she found herself replying, “I can’t speak for you but you said you are, were, whatever…”

Kahlan nodded pensively. “How did I feel about you before… my amnesia?”

“I don’t know.” It sounded like avoidance but Cara honestly didn’t know what Kahlan thought of her. It wasn’t like they had ever sat down for a heart-to-heart conversation and Cara was glad for that because she would have hated it. At least Kahlan was talking about herself and her past self as one and the same now. Cara finally grabbed her fork and started eating to distract herself.

Kahlan fell silent and followed Cara’s suit until suddenly, she asked, “Can Mord’Sith fall in love?”

“Seriously, Kahlan?” Cara groaned, what was going on with Kahlan and love this evening?

“I’m curious. Please, indulge me.” Kahlan smiled sweetly, touching Cara’s hand.

This time, Cara exhaled loudly. It was ridiculous, Mord’Sith weren’t known for being loving people but then, she remembered her sister Berdine and her lover Raina. “Rarely but it’s not unheard of…”

“Can you?” Kahlan leaned a bit closer, as if she was trying to read Cara even though she couldn’t.

Somehow, the question annoyed Cara and she snatched her hand away from under Kahlan’s. “What do you want me to say? Why are you asking me all these questions anyway?”

“I don’t know,” Kahlan shrugged. “Everyone is telling me how I should feel, and I…” She sighed. “Never mind.”

Cara frowned; it must be the first time this Kahlan backed down from a conversation. They kept eating in silence and Cara almost wished Dennee was there to avoid yet another discussion getting too personal.

“When Dennee and I were little, we always asked our mother to read us her favorite book. It was a tale about lovers who despite all the hardships found each other and lived happily ever after. She told us quite early on that love wasn’t for us so I’ve always wondered why it was her favorite…” Kahlan said out of the blue before falling silent again.

Cara glanced at Kahlan who was now staring at her plate, seemingly lost in thought, and sighed. She needed to say something to make the heavy silence disappear. “For what it’s worth, I think you deserve love, no matter if it’s from Richard or someone else and it’s just… not the case for me.” The words left her mouth almost without her consent and she suddenly felt uncomfortable with her own honesty. She cleared her throat and stood up. “You should go check on Dennee, I don’t want her to blame me for taking you away from her.” She took a step back but Kahlan grabbed her wrist before she could move further.

“Thank you.” Kahlan slid her fingers down to caress Cara’s hand then let go. “I’ll come to see you before bed…”

The audience with King Wilton seemed eternal and yet, it had only just begun. It had barely been a couple of days since Kahlan announced new laws impacting all of the Midlands and the king had already rushed into the palace like a peacock.

The most controversial points seemed to be the new tax and the requisition of men from all the provinces to join Kahlan’s army. The war had left most of the land in ruins, bridges, protective walls, and watchtowers had to be rebuilt, and all this couldn’t be possible with the current number of soldiers she had now, especially if she wanted to keep the borders guarded as well. The war was over but new conflicts could still arise and leaving the outer territories unguarded would be a foolish move on her part. For once, Cara was more than supportive of Kahlan’s decision and it proved that, despite everything, not all her choices as a leader were bad or extreme.

“We are supposed to be independent and you keep taking men and coins from us however you see fit.” The King complained.

“King Wilton, I have treated you with the respect your title requires but you are starting to make it incredibly difficult to keep doing so with your nervous shrieking. I am sure that if you take a breath, you will understand that the new tax is not an outrageous amount, it’s only a fair part of what each province should give. We can rebuild and make sure our lands are protected but only if we all work together.” Kahlan took a deep breath; she was reaching the limits of her patience.

King Wilton had just opened his mouth to argue when he looked at Cara and his eyes narrowed. “She has no right to be here, she should leave.” His voice was resembling the one of a petulant child.

“I am the one who decides who can or cannot be here. Cara is present because we both wish it, so don’t make the mistake of thinking that you have any say whatsoever in the matter.” Kahlan’s voice was low now.

“She is a Mord’Sith!” King Wilton almost cried out but managed to keep his voice just below the yelling tone.

“And she is also a better soldier than you’ll ever be, so if you want to keep your tongue, you better watch your words and talk about the situation in your province instead.” Kahlan cut him off before he could continue. The hint of a smile appeared on her face as she noticed fear flash in his eyes.

Hearing Kahlan defend her surprised Cara, it was the first time the Confessor had made it sound like she was an active participant in the hearings. The blonde had to admit though, Kahlan was right, she had offered to stay just in case because she could tell the king was ready for a fight the moment he arrived. Of course, Cara knew that the other woman was perfectly capable of handling the pretentious man on her own but her offer had passed her lips before she could think twice about it.

“The bridge connecting Fallholt and Laewaes is in critically bad conditions from the last rainfalls…” The king began talking again. Having taken Kahlan’s previous advice to heart, he spoke of the problems in his province.

Cara saw Kahlan turn her head and wink at her with a little smile before regaining her seriousness and focusing on the king once more.

Cara was looking for Kahlan after hearing some guards discussing an incident in the petition room. She was generally free to assist petitions but since Dennee had moved back in the palace, she had tried to stay away. Usually, Kahlan would find her once she was done but not today. It was not like she was worried, no, she just wanted to know if she should expect another flying hatchet coming her way just because Kahlan had angered someone again, that was all. Sadly, instead of finding Kahlan, Cara ran into Dennee.

“My office, now,” Dennee commanded without any greetings or preamble.

Cara crossed her arms, a scowl appearing on her face. “I am not your servant.”

“You don’t seem to mind when Kahlan orders you around.” Dennee taunted with a smirk.

Cara ignored the woman’s comment and turned on her heels, she had more important things to do, like finding Kahlan. She started walking again but Dennee followed her.

“Cara, I… It’s important.” Dennee stepped in front of her. “Please…”

Cara rolled her eyes but relented, motioning for her to lead the way. Once in Dennee’s office, the woman told her that Kahlan had almost confessed a man who disagreed with the judgment of his son. “Where is he now?” It would be good to know so she could make sure he stayed away from Kahlan.

“We found a compromise,” Dennee replied. “He will stay at the pillory until tomorrow.”

“And Kahlan agreed with that?” Cara raised an eyebrow, going from confession to a bit of public humiliation in the town square was a big step, especially for this Kahlan.

“I… found an old law that fits the offense.” Dennee sighed wearily, massaging her temples. “This cannot continue, I need to convince Kahlan to let me take over some of the hearings.”

Cara snorted. “Well, good luck with that.”

“I hate to ask but I need your… help,” Dennee paused with a frown, as if the word had been painful to say. She cleared her throat. “I still don’t know what to do with this Kahlan, one moment she’s nice and the other she is just… evil.”

“She is not evil.” Cara disagreed. Kahlan was a lot of things but she wasn’t evil.

Dennee rolled her eyes. “Of course a Mord’Sith would think that.”

“Then trust me when I say that I know evil, and that’s not what Kahlan is.” Cara declared. “I saw her render judgments that were fair, she made sure the prince gave back all the money he took, she uses taxes to improve the state of Aydindril and the Midlands, those are not signs of a wicked mind.” She might not know Kahlan as much as Dennee did but she had joined the Mother Confessor soon after the loss of her memory so she had a pretty good picture of what had happened since then. “But Kahlan applies the code as it was written, with the good and the bad, which can make her do extreme things, especially when someone questions her authority. Dangerous does not mean evil, she is not a monster, she is not devoid of feelings, some of them are just dormant.”

“It pains me to admit it but… you’re right,” Dennee said after a moment of silence. “It’s hard but we have to keep trying if we want to bring our Kahlan back.”

Cara’s eyebrows slightly shot up in surprise at the use of ‘we’ and ‘our’ but she kept it to herself. “We both tried. There’s only so much we can do in the palace.”

“I’ll think of something but for now, let’s focus on the petitions,” Dennee stated.

“What do you want me to say?” Cara questioned. She agreed that it wouldn’t hurt if Kahlan could stay away from hearings for a little while.

“Let me do the talking but agree with me out loud, it will matter to Kahlan,” Dennee answered. “Come on, she should be in her office, let’s go see her.”

What was it with the Amnell siblings telling her what to do? Cara hated it but fighting about it wouldn’t accomplish anything right now so instead, she clenched her jaw and followed anyway.

Just like Dennee had guessed, Kahlan was in her office and just like Cara had predicted, Kahlan quickly got annoyed at her sister’s request. Cara stayed next to the door and decided not to participate until it was absolutely necessary.

“I am not trying to take anything away from you,” Dennee argued. “But there is no need for you to do everything if I’m here, I could just take a few sessions.”

“Are you questioning my choices again, sister?” Kahlan’s voice rose. “I appreciate the advice you gave me so far but don’t forget that I am the one in charge!” She moved to stand in front of her sister.

“Kahlan,” Cara called before the woman could start another long rant about how she was the Queen of queens.

Kahlan swirled around and glared at her. “Are you part of this?” She walked up to her.

Cara glanced at Dennee then leaned closer so the woman wouldn’t hear them. “Think about your headaches, the healer said you should rest more.”

“I am resting!” Kahlan hissed under her breath.

Cara tilted her head as if to tell Kahlan that she knew she was lying. “No, you’re not.” She saw Kahlan’s shoulders relax a little so she continued. “So, take this chance to finally do it and clear your mind. Dennee is your sister, she is not your enemy, and neither am I.”

Kahlan leaned slightly closer, looking into Cara’s eyes. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”  

“Just one to try.” Cara gave her a small, reassuring smile before pulling away. She looked at Dennee. “One hearing to start with?” She asked in her normal voice.

Dennee nodded at Kahlan. “Yes, and then you can decide.”

Kahlan glanced between the two for a moment. “Fine, just one morning and if I don’t like it, it will be the last.”

“Thank you.” Dennee smiled gratefully.

“I’m going to inform my secretary.” Kahlan touched Cara’s arm and squeezed it before leaving the room.

Cara watched her go until she felt Dennee’s eyes on her. She stared back at the brunette with a scowl. “What?”

“Nothing,” Dennee said but she was studying Cara closely. “Well done.”

 “Whatever.” Cara rolled her eyes and walked out of the room.

The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon when Cara opened her eyes. She was starting to enjoy waking up every day in this soft and comfortable bed. Her room was looking to the east and each morning, it was bathed in gentle yellow light, the warmth slowly creeping on the stone floor and walls. Nothing could compare with the peacefulness of the palace in the early mornings. On the high floors where her and Kahlan’s rooms were, only the soft clank of the occasional guard’s armor could be heard passing from time to time, the maids were running around the lower floors until it was time for them to wake up the highborn or help them get dressed. Only the kitchens on the ground floor were brimming with life since before the sun was up, filled with the aroma of freshly baked bread and sugar.

Cara was finishing getting ready for the day when a confident knock on the door made her falter a bit. She opened the door with only one boot on.

“Good morning, I see you are ready for adventures.” Kahlan greeted her with a smile.

“Not really, I was just about to go get some breakfast and…” Cara wasn’t sure what else she was about to say because it wasn’t like she had plans for the rest of the day.

“Would you like to come to the lake with me?” The Confessor asked with just the tiniest tinge of nervousness in her voice.

The question caught Cara off guard. She knew that the lake was Kahlan’s safe place so it was a bit of a surprise to be asked to tag along but perhaps it was a sign that they were truly doing better now. Just before she could answer, Cara saw Kahlan hesitate, as if ready to take back her offer so she rushed to say. “Of course.” She frowned, that sounded way too eager. However, the bright smile that Kahlan sent her in return quickly made her forget about her embarrassment.

On their way out, they stopped at the kitchens so Cara could grab something to eat. She took a couple of honey cakes and offered one to Kahlan. The Mother Confessor had surprisingly never mentioned it but Cara knew they had been added to the menu at her request and Cara appreciated that, not that she was about to thank her out loud. Kahlan extended her hand and accepted the small pastry, letting her fingers brush against Cara’s and prolonging the contact a heartbeat more than socially acceptable. Cara wasn’t sure what that new sensation she was feeling was but she couldn't stop the corners of her lips from turning up.

The fading night always left behind a thin veil of mist around the lake and it wasn’t until the sun was high in the sky that the scenery cleared out completely. It was as if the lake had been tucked away from the rest of the lands and only Kahlan and Cara had the pleasure of basking in this enchanting world.

Cara followed Kahlan to the big rocks where she had found her the last time but now, they walked side by side and as Kahlan helped her to get up there, Cara could swear that she felt the woman’s fingertips trail from her wrist to her elbow ever so softly.

They sat close to each other, watching the water ripple with the wind, lapping at the rocks and the shore. Cara wasn't sure what to do or say, she was enjoying the way her morning had turned out so far and she didn’t want to bring up a topic that could break the blissful moment.

"There’s something I've been meaning to ask you." Kahlan’s voice brought Cara out of her musings.

"What is it?" The blonde held her breath, hoping Kahlan wouldn’t be the one to ruin the moment with another loaded question.

"I barely know anything about you, aside from you being a Mord'Sith and helping the Seeker,”  Kahlan stated. “There must be more to Cara than just those red leathers."

It caught Cara off guard. So far, the Confessor had given her no indication of caring about her personality outside of the persona she had established for everyone but sitting out here, with Kahlan, made her feel like it was okay to share what the other woman was asking of her. "Are you asking to see me without my leather or what my favorite color is?" Cara teased Kahlan, making her laugh softly. She didn't enjoy talking about her past, she never thought it served for much talking about things you could not change.

"Actually, I was hoping to know more about Grace or how you found out about Hester's preference for red apples instead of the green ones or even why you enjoy pink so much but if you're feeling hot and want to get some layers off of you, I wouldn't be opposed either," Kahlan said, leaving Cara an option to steer the conversation in a lighter direction.

Cara searched her eyes. Even though they were teasing each other, Kahlan’s eyes weren't filled with lust and desire like before and the setting around them felt more intimate than romantic. It just felt good to share space with only Kahlan, away from the palace and everyone else. The Confessor also seemed more relaxed when it was just the two of them. Cara was silent for a moment, still unsure of how much she could share but Kahlan already knew some of her worst moments - how she killed Dennee was on top of that list - and yet here she was now, wanting to spend her only free morning with her. “I hate pink.” She began talking and as soon as the first words left her lips, she was surprised to see how easy the rest followed. "I have a niece and a nephew, you met them with Grace when you were in Stowecroft..." There was no pretending this time, half-truths or uncomfortable lies, this time Kahlan seemed genuinely interested in her and didn't hold back her laugh when Cara told her the more amusing stories of her life with Grace.

Kahlan chuckled. “We never went fishing with Dennee but we used to spend hours making flower crowns…” She smiled at the memory then looked at Cara as she stretched her legs, her eyes falling on her weapons. "Correct me if I'm wrong but weren’t Mord’Sith supposed to carry one agiel, how come you have two?"

Cara could see the curiosity in her eyes and could feel the familiar impulse to share her deepest secrets with her, but it wasn’t the right time, especially since Kahlan still wasn’t herself. Besides, she didn't want to taint this moment with memories that held no particular joy for her, and for some unbelievable reason, this felt too personal to share yet. "That's a rather long tale, and the sun is already getting high in the skies so why don’t you join me for a swim instead, before we go back to the palace?" She stood up and started tugging on her clothes to peel them off her body and she knew that Kahlan could see her desire to avoid her previous question, for a moment the blonde thought Kahlan would insist but then, she saw a smile spreading on the Confessor’s face and Kahlan began taking off her dress as well. Cara knew this Kahlan didn’t have a problem with nudity but she still looked away and walked toward the water.

Chapter Text

Cara was having lunch with Kahlan in her office after a slow morning. Once again, Kahlan had offered to spend time with her despite her sister being around, and well, Cara had to admit it was a nice distraction. She was actually sharing a story about that time when they tried to lure some bandits to a village and had to pretend to be sisters until the bandits attacked their house.

“Oh, were you wearing a dress as we played house?” Kahlan asked teasingly, an amused smile gracing her face.

“No, I had a long tunic with pants.” Cara had refused to wear one back then, it was already bad enough to have to do chores like a common wench until those bandits showed up to rob them, so the last thing she needed at the time was to be in a dress.

“Shame, you look good in dresses…” Kahlan glanced down at Cara’s neckline.

“My eyes are up here, Mother Confessor,” Cara said but there was the hint of a smile on her lips.

Kahlan laughed. “You also have pretty eyes.” She leaned forward with an appreciative smile, her hand unconsciously finding Cara’s to caress it. “The green reminds me of…”

They were suddenly interrupted by Dennee barging into the room. Cara pulled away with a scowl, that woman did not know how to knock.

“Dennee!” Kahlan smiled but it looked a little forced, as if she was also a bit annoyed at the interruption.

“I thought you had work to do and that was why you couldn’t have lunch with me.” Dennee put a hand on her hip and stared at them as if she was a mother surprising her children doing some mischief.

“Well, Cara is my personal guard so it is technically work.” Kahlan answered innocently.

Cara held back a snort at that but didn’t comment, she knew better than to stand between the two sisters.

“Mhhh Mhhh,” Dennee squinted her eyes in Cara’s direction before sighing. “Anyway, I wanted to share with you an idea I had, to help with your amnesia but I suppose I can share it now since it involves the Mord’Sith.”

“We’ve talked about this before, it’s Cara,” Kahlan corrected with a tilt of her head.

Cara arched an eyebrow, so they were talking about her when she wasn’t around. She wondered what had been said, not that she cared. “What do I have to do this time?”

“You should travel with Kahlan, go to some places you visited before with Richard and Zedd. I’m sure it could help trigger some memories.” Dennee suggested. “As much as I would like to do it myself, I wasn’t there so it has to be you.”

“I will not leave the palace,” Kahlan stated. “We all know what happened last time.”

“This time I’m here,” Dennee pointed out. “And if you worry someone may attack us, I could ask Richard to…” She continued before Kahlan cut her off.

“The Seeker will not set a foot in this place! Is that why you want me to leave, so you can bring the Seeker and help the wizard?” Kahlan’s voice was loud, firm, and defiant.

“Of course not, sister!” Dennee exclaimed, taking offense at the accusation. “I would never betray your trust, even if you are…” She clapped her mouth shut and sighed. “Staying here won’t help you recover your memory,” She said in a more even voice. “You kept traveling the Midlands the past couple of years and if you want to remember that, you need to go out of the palace.”

Kahlan clicked her tongue. “I will think about it.” She stood up. “I have work to do, you can see yourself out, both of you.”

Cara gulped the rest of her drink and followed Dennee out of the room. “You could have at least discussed your idea with me beforehand.” She crossed her arms.

“I knew there was little chance for Kahlan to accept my proposition so I didn’t see the point.” Dennee shrugged.

“Then why did you ask?” Cara questioned, raising her eyebrow.

“I had to try,” Dennee replied. “Try to think of some places you could take Kahlan, just in case.” She advised before walking away.

Nobody mentioned their conversation at supper but when Kahlan joined Cara for their customary chat in the evening, the Mother Confessor brought it up in the middle of their farkle game.

“What do you think of Dennee’s idea?” Kalhan asked while she rolled her dice.

“If you are asking me, it must mean you’re considering it.” Cara kept her eyes on the dice as Kahlan rolled again. “I thought you said you refuse to leave the palace.” She looked up to see her reaction.

Kahlan shrugged. “If I can trust anyone to rule Aydindril in my absence, it would be Dennee, but Richard sent her and…” She sighed. “I am not sure where her loyalty stands at the moment. She is clearly friends with people who are against me.”

“Your sister and I might not see eye to eye,” Cara admitted. “But I don’t think Dennee would go against your wishes.” She knew that no matter what, Dennee would always put her sister before her friendship with Richard and Zedd.

“Like you did when you helped those children?” Kahlan arched an eyebrow.

Cara frowned. “I am not your sister.” She glanced down, Kahlan had lost her round.

“Good,” Kahlan smiled sweetly. “Because I like courting you.” She licked her lower lip.

“Don’t even try,” Cara reached for her dice and leaned forward with a smirk. “I won’t let you win, Mother Confessor.”

Kahlan chuckled. She fell silent for a moment then questioned, “Do you think it would help, leaving the palace for a few days?”

“Maybe,” Cara shrugged. “You said you wanted to remember so it might be worth a try.” Traveling around the Midlands could help Kahlan but even if it didn’t, it would allow Cara to leave the palace for a little while, as selfish as it sounded.

“Perhaps you’re right…” Kahlan paused. “But if I agree, it won’t be for more than a week. I can’t risk leaving Aydindril for longer, even with my sister in charge.”

Cara nodded. It wasn’t much and it limited her choices regarding the places they could visit but it was better than nothing she supposed. “Okay.” She rolled her dice and scored.

“And I will double the security around Zeddicus,” Kahlan added.

Cara held back a sigh. Well, if Dennee had entertained the idea of taking advantage of her time alone in the palace, she was going to be sorrowfully disappointed.

“Would you like to have breakfast with me tomorrow?” Kahlan reached out to touch Cara’s free hand. “To make up for our shortened lunch.”

“Sure,” Cara agreed then smiled smugly. “I won.”

Cara was walking around the palace, trying to find something to do to shake off her boredom. Kahlan had canceled their plan to have breakfast together at the last moment due to an urgent matter so, now, she had to find something to do with her morning. She was slightly annoyed about the whole thing when she shouldn’t even care.

As she turned left toward the west wing, Cara saw Kahlan walking down the crossing hallway, followed by two Homeguards. Kahlan waved at her with a small smile before continuing on her way. Without thinking, Cara found herself waving back, a smile appearing on her face.

Someone cleared their throat behind her and she swirled around. Cara bit back a groan, of course it had to be Dennee. She crossed her arms. “What do you want?”

“Kahlan came to my chambers this morning and told me that, after careful consideration, she will travel with you.” Dennee declared. “Have you thought about some locations you could take her as I’ve asked?”  

“I have a few ideas but I need a bit more time,” Cara answered in a monotone voice.

“Once you know, submit your plan to me and stick with it,” Dennee commanded. “Don’t try to bring Kahlan to some places of… debauchery.”

Cara snorted. Despite being civil, Dennee had never missed an opportunity to throw a jibe at her but most of the time, it amused her. “Are you afraid I’m going to betray you and push Kahlan toward darkness?” She smirked, hoping her joke would irk her.

“You can’t betray someone you never held any loyalty for,” Dennee stated. “Or trust for the matter.”  

The blonde rolled her eyes. She knew she had walked right into that one but the constant reminder was getting tiring, even for her. “I thought you agreed that I was helping Kahlan.”  

“I do,” Dennee conceded sourly. “But it doesn’t mean I trust you.”

“But she trusts me, isn’t that what matters?” Cara tilted her head and raised a questioning eyebrow.

 “Did she tell you that?” Dennee frowned. “But…” She opened then closed her mouth.

“Yes.” Cara lifted her chin, almost gloating at rendering the woman speechless. Then, she wondered if she was supposed to keep Kahlan’s confession secret. Well, it was too late now and it might force Dennee to back down.  

“I see…” Dennee pursed her eyes and stared at her.

Cara sighed and decided to conclude the conversation. She would rather be bored in her chambers than continue this talk. “I know what I’m doing and I think you’ve been here long enough now to know that I would never put Kahlan in danger.”

“Yes, you seem quite friendly lately,” Dennee answered vaguely.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Cara scowled. She was tired of Dennee’s random accusations.

“Nothing.” Dennee looked her up and down before leaving.

Cara exhaled loudly. She couldn’t wait to leave the palace with Kahlan…

Cara and Kahlan rode southeast for most of their first day of travel. Cara had planned to get as close as possible from the first village she wanted to visit while also taking a little detour to sleep in a particular tavern they had stopped at once.

When Cara stopped in front of the establishment and explained that they would spend the night at the inn, Kahlan seemed surprised by her choice of lodging. The Mother Confessor had asked a few times where they would be going but Cara hadn’t shared all the details, just in case Kahlan would change her mind. Even though Kahlan seemed to trust her enough to let her take the lead, Cara knew she could still refuse to stay at some places if she pleased.

“We spent a night together here,” Cara stated as she dismounted her horse.

Kahlan smirked. “Together, as in the same bed?”

“Together as in separate rooms with Richard and Zedd.” Cara corrected, chuckling at how ridiculous Kahlan could be with her flirting sometimes. She moved closer to Kahlan so she could catch her as she dismounted.

“I’m suddenly less excited,” Kahlan let her hands linger on Cara’s body even after her feet had touched the ground. “But that could change.” She breathed out, close to Cara’s mouth before pulling away. “I hope the food is good.” She stated cheerfully as if nothing had happened.

Cara cleared her throat. “Let me bring the horses to the stables, I’ll meet you inside.” She didn’t wait for an answer before leading the horses away. Once she was done, she entered the tavern and asked for a room in their inn before joining Kahlan at her table.

“I ordered us some drinks.” Kahlan declared as soon as Cara sat down. “Do you want to tell me what’s so special about this place?”

“We all had a nice evening here once,” Cara explained. “There was a band playing, you and Richard kept dancing together while Zedd was eating and drinking. You could have fed a whole village with everything he ordered.” She shook her head at the man’s insatiable appetite.

“What were you doing, dancing as well?” Kahlan questioned.

“No,” Cara snorted before smiling smugly. “I was winning an arm-wrestling contest.”

Kahlan chuckled. “Of course you were.” She reached out to touch Cara’s bicep and didn’t pull away until the waitress approached them with their drinks.

Cara took a sip of her ale before asking, “Can you remember anything?”

“No…” Kahlan looked around the tavern and sighed. “Maybe we should try dancing.” She said with a mischievous smile.

“Absolutely not!” Cara refused, it was bad enough that she had to play Kahlan’s guide, she wasn’t going to be Richard’s placeholder too.

“Then let’s order dinner,” Kahlan stated, waving at the waitress. They ate in a surprisingly comfortable silence until suddenly, she spoke again. “How long are going to stay at the palace?”

The question sounded casual but Cara could tell there was something behind it. “Why are you asking me that?” She finished her drink and motioned for the waitress to bring another.

Kahlan shrugged. “I’m just wondering if you don’t feel the need to go back to your master.”

“I’ve never said Richard was my new master.” Cara frowned, wondering for a moment if Dennee had shared that piece of information with her sister.

 “I remembered one night that he was the new Lord Rahl,” Kahlan answered simply.

Cara searched Kahlan’s eyes, wondering what the woman was expecting from her. “I thought you wanted me to stay.”

“I do.” Kahlan bit her lower lip. “But you said it yourself, we are not friends, so you do not owe me anything…”

“I… We…” Cara trailed off. She didn’t even know what to answer to that. She couldn’t stay forever; the Keeper was still wreaking havoc and it was urgent to stop him but it also felt wrong to leave Kahlan behind now. She decided to answer with a question. “Do you consider me your friend?”

“I don’t know… Maybe…” Kahlan replied, looking down at her plate before taking a sip of her mead.

“Then…” Cara hesitated. “Maybe I am…” She cleared her throat. “And maybe I don’t want to leave just yet.”

Kahlan looked up at her with a glint in her eyes. “Maybe is good…” She placed her left hand on the table, palm up, as if offering Cara a chance to seal this unspoken promise.

Cara glanced at her hand then back at Kahlan before resting her own hand on top of hers. She caressed Kahlan’s thumb slightly before pulling away as the waitress brought them their drinks.

The next stop was a place Cara was sure would jog some of Kahlan’s memories, since a lot of people and emotions had been involved.

Kahlan and Cara were riding Hester and Dahy side by side, the road was wide enough to allow that, both horses in stark contrast with each other, one shone under the bright sun and the other was as black as his shadow. Dahy was a year older than Hester, with a long and curly mane arranged to the right side and his bigger frame made him look rather intimidating but in reality, Cara’s mare was the wayward of the pair.

The women kept riding until they reached the village Cara had in mind. At first glance, there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary, the people were the same as in the rest of the Midlands, not too poor nor too rich, the houses looked small but sturdy and functional, even the kids playing around weren’t particularly interesting.

“I’ve been here before,” Kahlan said, her voice had a hint of uncertainty, almost like a question that Cara didn’t need to answer.

“You have. We all have actually.” Cara saw the confusion on Kahlan’s face and the concentrated look that appeared on her features, as if she was willing her mind to remember even the smallest details.

“This is Winterhaven. This is where Zedd ate an enchanted persimmon and lost his memory.” Cara explained and saw Kahlan nod. Whether it was out of habit or because it sounded familiar, the blonde wasn’t sure but she hoped it was the latter.

Kahlan took another look around and noticed the fields of persimmon trees in the distance, already brimming with fruits that had yet to ripen. “So, the same thing that happened to me, happened to him as well?” She questioned, wanting confirmation.

“Sort of, his memory started to fade slowly at first, mistaking some common words and mixing people’s names but then, it escalated quickly until he didn’t know who we were. He didn’t even remember that his daughter had died. He only managed to tell us the ingredients we needed for the potion to restore his mind before his memory was completely gone.” Cara was about to keep talking but Kahlan interrupted her.

“I hope you are not suggesting that we try this potion on me.” Kahlan’s voice sounded rather incredulous.

“What?” Cara understood that she had to quickly prevent this from becoming a much more serious misunderstanding. “Of course not. Unlike yours, his memory loss happened because Shota cursed the persimmon and that old fool couldn’t keep his hands off the food even to save his life.” She clarified as they rode toward the castle.

“Shota as in the witch of Agaden Reach?” The Mother Confessor asked puzzled.

“The wicked witch herself, yes.” Cara shook her head at the memory, she really didn’t like that woman. “Zedd used magic on you and when I tried to stop him with mine, he disappeared. I left you and Richard to go search for him. I found him in a brothel, like most men I tracked down in the past, but he disappeared once again. You’d be surprised by how limited in their thinking men are, they either go to the wife or the brothel, on some rare occasions, the most intelligent ones try to hide in their mistress’ home.” She added, knowing that she was getting off topic but the chuckle that escaped Kahlan was worth the momentary distraction. “Anyhow, Shota showed up, asking for our help, well my help, because her plan had backfired after turning Zedd young again.” Cara stopped her mount and nodded in direction of the castle in front of them. “We ended up there. Zedd had rebuilt the place because he wanted to be the new Seeker and the leader of the land.” She could tell Kahlan was starting to dislike this part of the story but she kept on talking. “He had also taken a harlot for a spouse and wanted to please her with all his new riches.” At that, Kahlan couldn’t hold back her laugh even though her expression was somewhere in the middle between amused, confused and surprised. Cara cleared her throat, she had started talking a lot more since she was living at the palace, always trying to help Kahlan remember, but it could be tiring. “Richard tried to bring Zedd back to his senses by playing the family card but it didn’t work. Zedd marched into the Underworld to kill the Keeper himself and Richard ran after him. Richard managed to save him and I managed to… persuade Shota to break her spell.” Cara finished and watched as Kahlan processed all the information.

“I remembered the fruit when you showed it to me at the tavern but given the context, that memory makes a lot more sense now,” Kahlan stated. “I also remember a pretty blonde, the harlot I suppose.” She smirked at Cara. “But don’t worry, she couldn’t hold a candle to you.”

Cara rolled her eyes and shook her head with a laugh. The atmosphere turned serious once more when she noticed Kahlan’s eyes drift to someplace in the distance, clearly recalling a memory. “Do you remember anything else?”

“I remember staring into the rift as well but… nothing else yet,” Kahlan admitted.

“Well, it’s a start,” Cara replied, wanting to say something that could dissipate the frustration Kahlan was beginning to feel. Cara knew her well enough by now to detect when she was getting frustrated because the memories wouldn’t come as fast to her as she would like them to. “Come on, let’s look for a place to spend the night and we can get an early start tomorrow.” She offered as she nudged Hester into a canter, seeing Kahlan and Dahy follow behind them.

Cara and Kahlan were taking a break to refill their waterskins in a stream when a group of banelings attacked them. After her last conversation with Richard, Cara knew it was a possibility but she didn’t think they would be so numerous. She saw Kahlan pulling out her daggers just as she unsheathed her agiels.

“What are they?” Kahlan questioned as she avoided a punch and stabbed a man in the guts. “They look dead.”

“Banelings!” Cara’s agiels screamed when she pushed them into a baneling’s chest. “Agents of the Keeper.” She realized in that moment that perhaps she should have warned Kahlan about them sooner but lately, it often felt like Kahlan was herself again, at least with her, and it had just slipped her mind that this Kahlan had never run into a baneling before.

“I thought they were just a legend!” Kahlan glanced at Cara and the moment of inattention was enough for her attacker to graze the skin of her arm with his sword. She glared at him and charged forward.

Despite fighting the three banelings surrounding her, Cara made sure to keep an eye on Kahlan. After getting rid of two of them, Cara paid a bit more attention to her companion and was surprised to see her fighting more aggressively than usual. There was still grace in her movements but there was a lot of rage too. As Cara received a blow, she focused back on her assailant, tackling him to the ground before slamming her agiel against his temple.

As the last baneling fell, Kalhan looked at all the corps. “I read reports about growing attacks but I didn’t think it was that bad or that it was banelings.” She sighed then turned to Cara. “What is the Seeker doing? Isn’t it his mission to take care of this or do I have to do everything myself?”

“It’s a lot to do for one man,” Cara said cautiously. She could tell Kahlan was angry and might not be in the best state of mind to have this conversation.

Kahlan scoffed. “What use is he then?” She shook her head. “What a true Seeker he makes…” She reached down to grab one of her daggers still buried in a baneling’s chest and hissed in pain.

“Are you hurt?” Cara frowned and made her way to her. Kahlan’s white dress was covered in blood and was torn in a few places so it was hard to tell where she had been wounded.

“It’s nothing.” Kahlan waved it off. “Just my arm.”

“Let me have a look.” Cara gently led her away from the dead bodies and motioned for her to sit against a tree. Despite rolling her eyes, Kahlan listened to her and sat down, showing the cut on her bicep. Cara inspected the wound and hummed to herself. “It’s not too deep.” She walked back to her bag and brought it with her, setting it on the ground next to Kahlan. Without a word, she pulled out a small bottle of vinegar and poured some on the cut. She heard Kahlan take a sharp breath and looked up to see if the woman was alright. Kahlan was already watching her closely but she smiled at her to let her know that she was okay. Cara nodded and grabbed a piece of cloth to wrap it around the wound. “All good.” She stated once she was done.

“You have quite the gentle touch,” Kahlan commented before leaning closer and placing a soft kiss right at the corner of Cara’s mouth. “Thank you.”

Cara felt her breath hitch and found herself staring at Kahlan’s lips before abruptly standing up. “I should find you another dress. While I’m gone, build a fire. The only way to prevent banelings from returning is by burning their bodies and since the wizard isn’t with us, it means we have to do it ourselves.” She hopped on her horse before Kahlan could answer and urged it forward.

Cara came back a candlemark later and was welcomed by the horrible smell of burning flesh. Kahlan had moved away from the fire and was waiting for her further down the river. The Mother Confessor had also cleaned herself and was clearly waiting for her new dress. Cara quickly dismounted her horse and handed it to her. The village she had found was small and its only shop didn’t have any clothes so she had to improvise and steal one drying outside.

Kahlan took the dress and stared at it with a frown. It was a long faded blue cotton dress with three-quarter sleeves and a square neckline. “This is not new.”

“This is all I could find, your majesty.” Cara rolled her eyes.

“And where did you find it exactly?” Kahlan asked suspiciously.

Cara let out a loud sigh. She knew there was no point in lying but she also knew the woman wasn’t going to like the answer. “Drying outside in some peasant’s garden.”

“So you stole it?” Kahlan questioned even though she already knew the answer.

“Yes,” Cara replied through gritted teeth. “What about it?”

“What about it?” Kahlan repeated in disbelief. “You committed a crime! And in my name no less!”

Cara balled her fists, trying to keep her irritation in check. “You needed it.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Kahlan exclaimed in annoyance. “The law…”

“The law is the law and a crime is a crime,” Cara cut her off, repeating the words she had heard many times before. “I know.” She rolled her eyes once again. “You want to go back to Aydindril in that state or even disrobed? Suit yourself but you’ll have to explain why to your sister.”

Kahlan furrowed her brows. “Exceptions lead to chaos.”

“And yet look around,” Cara answered mockingly while waving at their surroundings. “Nothing happened!” She wondered if someone had stolen Kahlan’s toy when she was a child to explain why she was so obsessed with thievery but this was getting ridiculous.

“I refuse to wear that dress.” Kahlan declared, glaring at her.

“Fine, I don’t care, just stay in your filth.” Cara made her way back to her horse. “I’m done with this place.”

Kahlan huffed and mounted her horse, following Cara without a word.

They ignored each other for the rest of the day as they rode west. When it was time to make camp, Cara asked Kahlan if she was hungry, to know if she should hunt a small prey or two, but the woman refused to answer. Cara took a deep breath to keep her calm. “Are you going to be mad at me all evening?”

“You made me an accomplice to your actions and I do not appreciate breaking the law,” Kahlan stated, crossing her arms defiantly.

“You can still try to cut my hand but you might lose yours.” Cara shrugged with a mighty smirk.

Kahlan groaned in frustration. “Can you take anything seriously?”

“Can you take anything not so seriously?” They glared at each other until Cara sighed. “Whatever, I’m going to hunt our dinner, make yourself useful, and if you’re going to keep that foul-smelling dress of yours, put your bedroll as far away as mine as possible.” She grabbed the bow tied to her horse’s saddle and walked deeper into the forest.

When Cara came back, the fire was burning and there were even berries next to their waterskins. She lifted the dead hare in her hand toward Kahlan. “Do you want to prepare it?” Kahlan shook her head at her. It wasn’t a sentence but at least she got an answer this time. It was in those moments that she missed Richard and Zedd the most because she hated cooking. Usually, Kahlan would take over if it was just the two of them but this Kahlan seemed above it. Cara decided to simply clean the hare and roast it.

They ate in silence and once they were done, Cara checked on the horses. As she walked back toward the fire, she got ready to announce that she was taking the first watch but then, she felt a droplet on her face. She looked up to the sky with a frown and felt another. She hadn’t even noticed the clouds gathering. It soon started pouring and the two women rushed to gather their stuff. Cara grabbed a piece of lit wood as a torch and they both rushed toward the hill, in hope of finding shelter.

They were drenched to the bone when they stumbled upon an opening in the rock, the entrance to a small cave. They went inside and once Cara made sure it was safe, she quickly lit another fire. Kahlan settled their bedrolls on the ground again and a quick look at them told Cara that they were thankfully dryer than they were. There was no reason to keep watch now so Cara decided to just lie down. She saw Kahlan do the same and slowly closed her eyes. The silence didn’t last long however as the low but distinct sound of Kahlan’s teeth chattering from the cold echoed around them. Cara waited, wanting to see if the woman was going to say something, but instead, she heard Kahlan stand and rummage through her bag. Cara finally opened her eyes and realized that Kahlan had changed into her dress and was now dragging her bedroll next to hers. Cara didn’t even try to hide her smirk. “Is your new dress comfortable, Mother Confessor?”

“Shut up,” Kahlan grumbled as she lay next to Cara.

Cara chuckled but let Kahlan move closer, it wouldn’t be right to let her catch a cold after all.

Cara had been leading Kahlan down the same path for over a candlemark now and there was nothing but forest, dense forest, and even denser forest ahead of them. The trail they were following looked as if no human had stepped foot on it in at least a decade and it had been more than a day since they last saw a person anywhere near their path.

“You know, if you wanted to have your way with me, we could’ve done that in my bed.” Kahlan teased her. “Much more comfortable than a trail overgrown with thorns, nettles, or weeds.”

“Concentrate, Mother Confessor.” Cara rolled her eyes and finally explained why they were here. “This is the way to the Minders village. They’re peaceful people, living without making any trouble and according to the laws of the Creator. They think all life is sacred so they refused to defend themselves when they were attacked by slave traders, that’s why we had to help them.”

“This is ridiculous. Some people are just bad.” Kahlan declared with a shake of her head.

Cara nodded in agreement. “I think so too. I’d kill a hundred men before I let one make me his slave.”

“So, why are you serving the Seeker then?” Kahlan asked as she narrowed her eyes inquisitively.

There was a small pause which Cara wasn’t sure how to fill. It was a loaded question and most of her answers would surely sound like excuses to Kahlan, and perhaps she would be right, maybe she was lying to herself. She had been indoctrinated long ago, brought up to believe that serving one man was the highest honor of all and she believed it, for a while, but now… Now she could see there was much more to life than being used as a pawn. It hadn’t felt that way at first but her time at the palace, away from Richard, had given her a certain kind of freedom and she wasn’t sure she wanted to let that feeling of self-determination go. Richard was a good man; she was sure of that but he was not free of faults and sometimes, his naivety and ridiculously high moral standards made her feel rather inclined to end their quest as quickly as possible and begin her own journey. But now was not the time to think about all this so, instead of answering, Cara just kept walking.

After a few moments of silence, where the only noises that could be heard were their footsteps and the snapping of twigs under their horses’ hoofs, the road grew wider again and both animals could fit side by side again. Cara managed to shake off the thoughts in her mind and concentrate back on their priority, they hadn’t come here for her to question her life choices after all.

Time was fleeting and if there was a chance that Kahlan could regain more memories back and understand why she needed to release Zedd, it was getting smaller and smaller with each passing day. As much as Cara respected this new side of the other woman, they all needed the old Kahlan back or they would all be doomed soon.

“See that clearing ahead?” Cara asked as she pointed to their left. “It’s where the Minders set their camp after being chased away by slavers and where we trained them in basic combat to defend themselves, all but their leader. You can’t turn someone into a soldier in two days but having in mind that they had never used a knife as a weapon before, it was better than nothing.” She knew the village was near and she needed to tell Kahlan their story before she met with the people there but Kahlan interrupted her.

“I don’t understand something though. Didn’t you say that the reason this merry band of ours was together was so we could find the Stone of Tears?” Kahlan questioned with an arched eyebrow. “So far, almost nothing you have told me or shown me has had anything to do with the stone, why do we keep stopping and wasting time?”

“I keep telling you and Richard that and it makes me the bad guy so don’t ask me.” Cara shrugged. It was in these moments that she almost preferred this version of Kahlan, almost…

Kahlan sighed loudly. “So, what happened next?”

“All was going well until the Minders fell under a spell while fighting, a curse in fact. One that had been spanning for generations. Zedd tried to cure them but he got sick instead and Richard began acting strangely.” Cara developed. “He was angry, violent and encouraged the Minders to take back their village and slaughter everyone who would stand in the way. They did just that and showed no mercy. Once they were done, Richard wanted to take his small battalion and go after the rest of the slavers but you found him in time. His rage had blinded him and when you tried to convince him to stop, he got even angrier and tried to hit you so I jumped in.”

“You protected me?” Kahlan questioned and tried to look into Cara’s eyes but the blonde looked away, mumbling something she didn’t understand. “So, I just stood there and did nothing? Why?” She asked after a pause, clearly confused.

“You love him.” Cara shrugged and kept her eyes forward.

“Why is that the answer I always get?” Kahlan was starting to sound frustrated. “I don’t know much about love but I’m pretty sure it isn’t supposed to turn you weak and pathetic.”

Cara didn’t know what to say to that, she wasn’t exactly an expert on the matter either and even if her views coincided with Kahlan’s, she didn’t want to say anything that could make the other woman draw any conclusions that could be influenced by her. “I used my magic to stop him, but then he hit me with the tilt of his sword.” She continued her story instead.

“I remember that!” Kahlan suddenly gasped. “I remember you falling to the ground, then I kicked his sword and when I turned around you were lying there, unmoving and I was… worried.”

Cara heard the sincerity in her voice. She felt her heart picking up its pace at Kahlan’s admission but refused to dwell on it and kept talking. “We discovered that a wizard had cursed the Minders with a binding spell between their bloodline and the bloodline of a warlord and his descendants to prevent violence. The warlord was of the Rahl bloodline and the first Minders hadn’t always been peaceful, far from it, so the anger they couldn’t experience for so long was all transferred onto Richard and when the link between them activated again, they all began experiencing the bloodlust.”

“And yet,” Kahlan frowned. “At the beginning, you said I had nothing to fear from him.”

Cara wasn’t sure if the Mother Confessor was angry or disappointed but she knew that, if she mentioned Richard’s love one more time, she would have a very angry Kahlan to deal with. “As much as you tend to believe the opposite, we all have our dark side, as small or as tamed as it can be, it’s in all of us and it’s definitely in Richard too.”

“I don’t believe that. Maybe the woman you remember does but not me.” Kahlan spoke with a sure voice.

Before Cara could say anything else, the first houses of the village greeted them in the distance. This talk would have to wait.

Kahlan and Cara reached the village by the time the sun had reached its highest point in the sky. The villagers were out of their houses, gathered together as everyone helped the other with something.

An old woman was the first one to notice them. She was dressed in earthy colors, with strands of grey blonde hair escaping the scarf on her head and a curious-looking faded tattoo on her forehead. “Cara!” The woman greeted her with a warm voice and a bright smile on her face. “Mother Confessor.” She made her way toward them, her expression clearly trying to figure out what they were doing back in her village. The rest of the people greeted them as well but they all made way for Roga to pass, clearly respecting her position as their leader.

“Hello, Roga,” Cara said with a small but genuine smile. She happily allowed the woman to clasp her forearm in greeting while Kahlan watched them curiously from a few steps behind.

“Are you alright, Mother Confessor?” Roga turned to Kahlan, clearly wondering why the woman was keeping quiet.

Cara reached behind and pulled Kahlan closer. “The Mother Confessor is… a little lost and could use some of your wisdom.” She stated, trying to be tactful.

“I’m glad I taught you something.” Roga gave her a small, gentle nod of the head and a smile. “Come on, follow me, the thyme has started flowering and it is perfect for tea.” She gestured for them to follow her. “We’ll have some time to talk before the official dinner in your honor tonight.”

“If it’s just grains and leaves, I think we’ll pass…” Cara replied but Roga shushed her.

“I seem to remember your taste for mulberries quite well and besides, two visits from the Mother Confessor herself in less than a year is not something that happens very often and we’d like to show you our hospitality properly this time,” Roga said as she looked at Kahlan with a warm smile. “You can leave the horses to my son; they’ll be well taken care of.” She added as she saw her son approaching as well.

Cara was silently sipping the tea that Roga had prepared for them, trying not to grimace. The taste was a bit too bitter for her, even though she had added a spoonful of honey, and she could tell Kahlan absolutely hated the concoction in her cup. If Roga hadn’t been too busy sharing her story about the baby chipmunk they had rescued and now adopted, she would have seen the look of pure disgust on Kahlan’s face.

The blonde could see Kahlan watching her with even greater curiosity than before, perhaps it was because Cara was actually talking and even laughing from time to time, without being forced to, or because she was looking more relaxed than usual. Roga and her couldn’t be more different but her presence was soothing and it was nice for once to be with someone who didn’t expect anything from her.

“You have certainly chosen a peculiar way of living,” Kahlan said as Roga refilled her cup with hot tea. “How can you sacrifice your own lives for nothing?”

“We mind the laws of the Creator, who teaches us that every life is sacred. We love our enemies as we love ourselves.” Roga repeated what she had told Cara the first time she had seen her.

“The Sisters of the Light follow a very similar path, they respect the sanctity of life, and yet, they use magic and violence to defend themselves.” Kahlan pointed out. “Those slavers broke many laws, they deserved death, not jail, not confession, and certainly not mercy.”

Cara couldn’t say she disagreed with her but she knew it was pointless to argue here.

“The Creator gave you free will and the knowledge to know right from wrong but it doesn’t mean you should turn the other cheek in the name of peace,” Kahlan added.

“You have strong opinions for someone who is also supposed to represent what the Creator stands for.” Roga looked at Kahlan.

“Sometimes, justice requires blood to be spilled.” Kahlan declared.

“I respectfully disagree, Mother Confessor. We believe kindness and compassion are very powerful forces.” Roga explained patiently. “Even your friend admitted that, sometimes, diplomacy and tolerance can go a long way.”

Kahlan was ready to question again how turning a blind eye to someone who wanted to harm you was a good idea but Roga excused herself to go check on her people and the preparations for their dinner. She turned to Cara. “You keep surprising me. I wasn’t expecting you to actually smile and be friendly with that woman.”

“She saved my life.” Cara shrugged.

They stayed the night in the village, listening to the Minders’ stories. Cara had been a bit skeptical at first about bringing Kahlan back here but now, she was certain that she had made the right decision. Kahlan seemed a lot calmer than before, maybe it was because she had gained some new memories and thus some new perspective.

As the new day began, Cara and Kahlan untied the reins of their horses, ready for their journey back.

Roga walked with them until they reached the last house of the village. “Your friend is a good one, Mother Confessor,” Roga told Kahlan as she let go of Cara’s forearm and the blonde rolled her eyes playfully. 

Cara had shared Kahlan’s struggle with amnesia the night before and Roga hadn’t looked much surprised. The woman had noticed the changes in Kahlan almost right away but seemed hopeful that Cara could guide her back to the right path. It had felt good to have someone acknowledge her efforts for once.

“Safe travels to you both and remember, you are always welcome to visit us,” Roga said her final goodbye and both women thanked her as they parted ways.

Kahlan and Cara walked slowly between the trees, where the forest began anew and after a while, Kahlan looped her arm with Cara’s.

“Cara, dear, how about we stop for some thyme tea on our way back home, and maybe we’ll run into some bandits and teach them how to read.” Kahlan laughed as she mimicked Roga’s earlier behavior.

Cara couldn’t stop the giggle escaping her lips but she quickly remembered herself and nudged her elbow in Kahlan’s side. “Behave.” She tried scolding her but her laughing betrayed her amusement and Kahlan laughed once more.

It was the last night of their trip together and by late afternoon the next day, they should be back at the palace. Cara had asked Kahlan if she wanted to stay at an inn or make camp and the Mother Confessor had chosen to enjoy the clear night sky one last time.

After a quick dinner, they sat around the fire in comfortable silence. Cara was staring at the flames, trying to decide if their little journey was a success or not. Kahlan had remembered quite a few things along the way but it wasn’t enough, it was never enough or at least, it didn’t have an impact on her missing traits. And yet, there were still moments when the real Kahlan felt right there, just like right now. Cara glanced at Kahlan who was watching the stars with a small, content smile on her face. She heaved a sigh and it must have been loud because Kahlan turned her head toward her.

They stared at each other for a moment until Kahlan asked, “Why did you choose the places we visited? You gave me locations and explanations but not the reason behind them.”

Cara ran a hand through her hair. “I wasn’t there when you traveled with Richard the first year so it limited my options and since you didn’t want to be away for too long, the list became drastically shorter.”

“So you chose them out of convenience?” Kahlan arched a questioning eyebrow.

“No,” Cara shook her head. “I chose them because I wanted to give you a memory with Richard and another one with Zedd.”

“Where do you fit in all this?” Kahlan questioned, rolling on her side to look at Cara better.

Cara shrugged. “I was there too, right by your side…”

“Yes,” Kahlan gave her a small, private smile. “You were…”

Chapter Text

Cara knew that Kahlan had been busy all day with a prince from the Longford province but what she had not expected, however, was to see said prince at their dinner table. Only the blonde’s training and experience allowed her to hide her confusion when she saw the tall and, if she had to be honest, handsome man, sit next to Kahlan and Dennee. He was visibly taller than her, with charcoal hair and forest green eyes and even though Cara had been unsure about the prince’s behavior at first, now that she could hear him talk, she definitely found him irritating.

“I have to say, I am surprised by how things have changed since you returned to your throne, Mother Confessor. The Midlands are changing and… you seem changed as well…” The prince spoke. “Still, I am grateful for the money you sent to fix the watchtowers.” He bowed his head ever so gently in her direction.

Cara couldn’t believe Kahlan was smiling at his words, a genuine smile at that. Although the man sounded careful about his statement, he also seemed overanxious to please, and maybe it was why Kahlan had invited him.

“After everything that had happened, the Midlands needed a firm hand,” Kahlan said and the prince nodded along. 

Hearing those words made Cara realize that although Kahlan remembered some things, she still refused to admit that her leading tactics and the general way of her ruling could be too extreme sometimes. What was more concerning was that, despite softening on some aspects, it looked like some parts of Kahlan’s normal self were truly locked away no matter what. Cara was all too aware that the Keeper kept gaining ground and if the situation stayed the same with Kahlan, she knew she would have to leave the woman behind, even if the thought displeased her. Cara needed to see Zedd soon to discuss the matter.

Cara glanced at Kahlan and the prince again and frowned as she saw her talking animatedly with him. Somehow, there was something very annoying about him but she couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“Kahlan told me you are her personal guard, it must be a nice change from D’Hara. How does it feel to have the honor of standing next to the Mother Confessor as she makes history?” The prince questioned as he turned toward Cara.

“Thrilling. Not as much as attending this dinner is turning out to be but, oh well…” Cara answered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She could see Dennee’s eyes glaring at her but she ignored her. Cara was too focused on the fact that the prince had addressed Kahlan by her name and not her title, something the Mother Confessor usually did not tolerate, and yet, she hadn’t even flinched when the man had addressed her that way.

The blonde lost herself in her own thoughts, not noticing the conversation once again flowing easily between the other three. A loud laugh brought her back to the dinner table and her eyes quickly drifted to where the prince’s hand had landed on Kahlan’s arm. The way he was sitting so close to her didn’t make Cara feel better either. She could feel her stomach tightening and there was now a dryness in her mouth that even the finest wine couldn’t wash away. Cara tried to concentrate on not letting her shallow breathing show but it was a losing battle so she abruptly stood up from her chair. “I’m going back to my chambers.” She stated, already stepping away from her seat. She saw Kahlan’s smile fall and be replaced with a worried frown.

“Are you feeling alright?” Kahlan asked as she looked at Cara, examining her carefully. “Do you want me to call for the healer?”

Dennee turned to her sister with an incredulous look on her face and for a brief moment, Cara wondered what was her problem but she bit back her comment, focusing on Kahlan instead. “I don’t need anything, just enjoy your evening, Mother Confessor.” She nodded slightly before rapidly making her way out of the room.

Once Cara reached the second flight of stairs leading to her chambers, she knew she couldn’t ignore the steps behind her any longer. Even if that little spy had tried their best to stay hidden and far enough from her, their best wasn’t nearly good enough for Cara not to notice. The blonde had even stopped a couple of times and changed pace but the steps were still trailing her. She could recognize Kahlan’s steps easily - they had walked side by side plenty of times to know their rhythms- and those weren’t hers.

The Mord’Sith shook her head and picked up her pace again, she was ready to duck into one of the nearest hallways when she heard a familiar voice calling out. “Wait!”

Cara sighed, this was the last person she wanted to talk to so when she turned around and heard Dennee fast approaching her, she kept walking until she felt a hand on her arm, pulling her to a stop.

“I’m talking to you,” Dennee said, as annoyed as Cara felt. 

“I don’t have anything to say to you, go back to your sister.” Cara tried to shut down the conversation.

“What is going on between you two?” Dennee went for the direct approach.

“Nothing is going on.” Cara frowned.

“Really? Because it looks like something is. Kahlan refuses to answer me and it’s not like I expect the truth from a Mord’Sith but I’m not blind. The way Kahlan is acting around you…” Dennee didn’t get the chance to finish.

“Is none of your business!” The blonde barked at her.

“So, you are not denying the rumors then?” The Confessor pushed again.

“Nothing. Is. Going. On.” Cara growled, her voice slow and full of warning. Anyone else would have felt the blood in their veins freeze in that very moment but Dennee seemed resolute in her stance, refusing to back away. “Go back to your dinner.” She started walking away once more.

“Prince Edvin is a longtime acquaintance and he was just complimenting Kahlan’s taste in lovers. He was referring to you.” Dennee said loudly.

“The prince knows nothing.” Cara waved her away and kept walking to her chambers. She didn’t know what had prompted the prince’s remark but if she ever saw him again, she would need to have a word with him.

It couldn’t have been more than a candlemark later when Cara heard a knock on her door. She frowned; she didn’t think anyone was brazen enough to go looking for her at this hour. The only person who visited her chambers at night was Kahlan and given that she had company tonight, Cara wasn’t expecting a visit. Besides, if it had been an emergency, a lot more shouting and urging would’ve been involved.

She had obviously been too focused on her thoughts because before she even had the chance to answer, she saw the wooden door open and Kahlan enter her chambers. So far, she hadn’t seen the Mother Confessor dressed in anything but her whites but right in front of her stood Kahlan Amnell, dressed simply in her night shift with her black hair still down, framing her face. 

There were a few big candles burning around the room, carefully placed by the maids on iron trays to prevent the rug from accidentally catching fire and Cara could see the low light bathing Kahlan’s features with a gentle glow. She must have looked at those blue eyes at least a hundred times by now and yet, something made her unable to tear her gaze away from them tonight. “Didn’t think you would come tonight since you had company.” Cara finally said to break the silence between them.

“I told him I wanted to check on you.” Kahlan looked at Cara and moved her eyes on her form, examining her from head to toe. “You don’t seem sick, why did you leave in such a hurry?”

“I was bored.” Cara shrugged nonchalantly, unsure if what she was detecting in Kahlan’s voice was a slight tinge of concern or just curiosity.

Kahlan stared at her in disbelief. “Bored of what?”

“Your conversation with prince charming,” Cara grumbled. She looked down at the bed, smoothing the bedsheets with her hands to prevent them from twitching in annoyance.

“I’ve known him for a long time,” Kahlan said as if she wanted to reassure Cara of something without saying anything. “We’re friendly.”

“Good for you.” The blonde’s voice sounded detached.

Kahlan chuckled. “May I keep you company?”

“If you want.” Cara shrugged but slid to the side of the bed, leaving enough space for the other woman to join if she decided.

Kahlan quickly settled on the bed next to Cara, closer to her than necessary but the blonde held back her comment about how the bed was big enough for them not to be all over each other. The silence between them didn’t last long.

“I thought about our trip this morning and it reminded me of my first night on the road, it was the most uncomfortable experience of my life…” Kahlan began talking.

As Kahlan told her story, Cara felt herself finally able to relax a little and closed her eyes. She wasn’t asleep, far from it but it just felt nice to know that Kahlan had left the prince behind so she could spend time with her. She hummed here and there and even answered with short sentences from time to time. At some point, she felt Kahlan’s hand playing with her hair and decided to let her. She could feel the warmth next to her and she lost herself in the moment, the serene atmosphere that was suddenly shattered by a loud knock on the door. Cara’s eyes snapped open but before she could answer, the door to her room opened abruptly.

“Cara, have you seen K…” Dennee stopped, glancing from Cara to Kahlan, to the barely existent gap between them. “Never mind, she’s here… in your bed…”

Cara could swear she saw a tornado of emotions rage behind Dennee’s eyes. She opened her mouth to ask what she wanted but Kahlan beat her to it.

“Dennee?” Kahlan sat up and put a hand on Cara’s arm, as if willing her to stay where she was. “Did you need something?”

Dennee cleared her throat and shook her head. “No, not anymore.” She glanced at them one last time before leaving.

Once the door was closed again and they were left alone in the room, Cara could feel the sudden tension that had settled in the air around them. Gone was the peaceful and enjoyable atmosphere from before and she couldn’t pretend otherwise. Cara sighed. “You should go back to your chambers.”

“Why?” Kahlan’s voice sounded confused.

Cara couldn’t tell her that the way Dennee had looked at them, full of suspicion and doubt made her feel uncomfortable, as if she had done something wrong and now, she needed to put distance between them so instead, she just settled on, “It’s late, get some rest.” She saw Kahlan hesitate, as if ready to argue so she quickly murmured a small, “Kahlan, please.”

Kahlan simply nodded and squeezed her hand before leaving silently.

Early the next day, Kahlan showed up in Cara’s chambers with a maid in tow so they could have breakfast together. Cara had hoped for a calm morning alone after their conversation from the night before but clearly, this Kahlan couldn’t get a hint, just like the one she knew.

“Why aren’t you with your sister?” Cara questioned as Kahlan sat at her table. “She was looking for you last night.”

Kahlan shrugged. “I can see her later.”

“She looked annoyed though, maybe it was important.” Cara didn’t really care about Dennee’s feelings; she was more curious about why the woman was looking for Kahlan late at night.

“I didn’t know you cared so much about my sister.” Kahlan teased as she bit into a slice of bread.

Cara snorted and joined Kahlan at the table. “Hardly, I just want to know what I will be blamed for this time.” She was still annoyed by her last conversation with Dennee and it was hard to ignore it.

“Come on,” Kahlan laughed. “I told her to make an effort, I think you’ll be fine.” She reached out and squeezed Cara’s hand.

Cara swiftly pulled her hand away and used it to grab her tea. She focused on her plate as Kahlan kept talking about their mission for the afternoon, a village they had to visit together for some reason Cara hadn’t bothered to remember. Kahlan suddenly stopped talking, forcing Cara to look up to see why. The woman was staring at her strangely.

“Are you alright?” Kahlan questioned, a frown on her face.

“Yes,” Cara replied curtly. “Why?”

“You usually comment on what I say.” Kahlan pointed out.

Cara shrugged. “Maybe I don’t have anything to add.”

“Very well,” Kahlan clicked her tongue and finished her tea. “I should go, I’ll see you this afternoon.” She declared before leaving the table and the room.

Later, Cara decided to take her lunch in her chambers just in case Dennee and Kahlan were together in the dining room. It wasn’t that she wanted to avoid Kahlan, she just needed a moment alone to think, and being around her made that difficult.

As much as Cara wished she could stay away, she knew she had work to do and couldn’t delay any longer so she made her way to the Mother Confessor’s office. As she approached the room, she heard shouting coming from behind the closed door. It was clearly Dennee and Kahlan arguing.

“The Mother Confessor canceled all her plans for the rest of the day, you should go back to your chambers.” The Homeguard watching the door stated without prompting.

Cara looked at him then back at the door, wondering if she should get in. Then, she heard Dennee shout, “I am tired of you avoiding my questions, Kahlan. When Richard asked me to come here, I thought...” Cara winced, there was no way she was getting involved if the topic was Richard again. She turned around and made her way back to her room.

However, she rapidly grew bored of staying in her chambers and decided to take her horse to ride around the land. Despite not being with Kahlan, the guards didn’t try to stop her and Cara took it as a good sign. She rode for a while with no destination in mind until at some point, she found herself at the lake Kahlan loved so much. As she stared into the water, she remembered the last time she had been there with Kahlan and how nice it had been. She quickly shook her head, no matter what she had told Dennee, she knew that Kahlan and she were treading on dangerous ground lately. Cara should put a stop to whatever was going on with Kalhan and just convince her to release Zedd so everything could go back to normal. With a resolute nod to herself, she decided that from now on, she was going to keep her distance and focus on her plan, no more distractions.

Cara didn’t see Kahlan at dinner time but it was no fault of hers this time. Florencia had informed her that the Mother Confessor had left the palace before she came back so Cara ate alone in her chambers. When Kahlan didn’t show up for their daily evening talk, Cara felt almost disappointed but she pushed the feeling aside, it was for the best.

It was late and Cara was half-asleep when she heard someone entering her dark chambers. She didn’t have to wonder who it was for long though.

“It’s me,” Kahlan said reassuringly, knowing how Cara could be prompt to react. “Go back to sleep.”

“What are you doing?” Cara asked harshly as she felt Kalhan join her under the covers. “If you’re here to talk, I’m sure it can wait until morning.”

“I am not here to talk,” Kahlan answered as she lay her head on the pillow.

Cara tensed, hoping Kahlan wasn’t there for what she thought she was. “I am not offering myself to you either.”

“It’s fine.” Kahlan laughed wearily. “I had a long day; I just want to sleep. I promise to behave.”

Cara frowned, now she was worried. She wondered what could have happened to Kahlan that she suddenly felt the need to share her bed. It wasn’t the first time Kahlan had tried but it was always just words and she hadn’t made any moves in a long time. The more baffling part was that Kahlan wasn’t asking anything from her, she just wanted… the comfort of having someone else close she supposed. “What happened?”

Kahlan let out a long sigh. “I fought with Dennee, pretty much all day, about what you and me…” She trailed off. “It doesn’t matter right now.”

Cara should have known that only one person could shake this Kahlan and it was Dennee. “Kahlan…” She didn’t know what she wanted to say but having Kahlan in her bed didn’t feel like a great idea.

“I just don’t want to be alone; can we leave it at that?” Kahlan answered with a surprisingly small voice.

After such a painful admission, one that must have cost her, Cara couldn’t send Kahlan away. “Okay.” She sighed and stared at the ceiling, making sure her body stayed as far away from Kahlan’s as possible.

Cara fought to keep her eyes open for most of the night but the soft bed and Kahlan’s calm breathing eventually soothe her to sleep.

She woke up with the feeling of a warm body against her chest and snapped her eyes open, her heart beating erratically as she realized Kahlan had snuggled against her at some point during the night. She needed to get out of bed fast but without waking up Kahlan. As she pulled away however, Kahlan started to stir and unconsciously pulled her closer.

“Mmhh, you’re warm,” Kahlan sleepily mumbled. “Stay…”

Cara’s eyes went wide at the comment and she swiftly rolled to her side. Unfortunately, she had miscalculated the space left on the mattress and crashed on the floor. She groaned but quickly stood up, grabbing her leather and leaving her chambers before Kahlan could say anything. So much for keeping her distance…

Over the course of the next couple of days, even the air in the palace seemed charged with angry nervousness and it wasn’t uncommon to see the Mother Confessor barely speaking to Dennee, which was very problematic. Apart from the personal problems Kahlan had with her sister, she had become increasingly busy due to growing tensions with the Westland.

It was fine with Cara since it made avoiding the Mother Confessor easier but it didn’t help her boredom and frustration. She felt restless and for some reason, a bit too tense lately, so she needed to clear her head and relax her mind a bit. She needed to do something that would distract her enough from everything and suddenly the brilliant idea of going to hunt some banelings graced her. She knew she was supposed to meet Kahlan for lunch but this was the perfect excuse to avoid it. Cara didn’t waste much time in getting her horse ready and on the road to where the most recent reports had mentioned their attacks had happened. 

As Cara passed in front of the inn Richard was currently staying at, she realized that she could have also visited him. To be honest, she was too frustrated to see Richard, things between them weren’t the best lately and she didn’t feel like arguing and getting even more worked up, she needed to get her frustrations out not add new ones to the already alarmingly big pile. Besides, she was sure Kahlan was spying on him so it wouldn’t be wise to meet him.

Fighting the banelings had been easy enough, the familiar squeal and bite of the agiels in her hands made her forget about everything else around her. The kicks and punches she delivered had been practiced so many times that her body moved confidently on its own accord. However, the banelings were more than she had expected and it took her the better part of the day to send them back to the Keeper’s domain.

By the time Cara made her way back to the palace, night had already fallen upon the land. On her way to her chambers, she passed Kahlan’s office and saw the door left ajar. Dennee was inside again and Kahlan didn’t seem very pleased with whatever conversation they were having. The blonde had wanted to go see Kahlan before going to bed, to act as if everything was fine, but now she could see it wasn’t the best time for that. When Kahlan moved to the open door and her eyes landed on the blonde, she only gave her a curt nod of acknowledgment before closing the door completely to keep her discussion with her sister more private. Cara realized in that moment that Kahlan might not be happy with her either for missing their lunch and decided that it was best to just go.

A couple more days passed hectically as Cara kept avoiding Kahlan. When they passed each other in the hallways or the common areas, Cara could see that, despite the look on her face, Kahlan was holding back from asking her any questions because there were more pressing matters to attend to but she knew it wouldn’t last.

And Cara was right because the next day, Kahlan cornered her as she left her room after breakfast.

“Cara, finally, I was starting to wonder if we had unwillingly begun a game of hide and seek,” Kahlan said as greeting.

“You had some very busy days.” The blonde replied, stating the obvious was something Cara hated doing but she wasn’t exactly sure what else to say.

Kahlan hummed and crossed her arms. “I can say the same for you since apparently, you’ve started hunting banelings on your own and I had to find out from my stable master, since you know, you didn’t show up for our lunch.”

For a moment, Cara thought about telling her how her hunt got complicated but she decided against it. “Well, it’s not like you give me something to do lately.” She said instead.

“Actually,” Kahlan gave her a small smile. “That’s why I’m here, I need your help with something. I can’t find my notes on the Westland’s politics. I was sure they were in the library but as you know, that place isn’t exactly small. I probably got distracted and left them in a book...”

Cara could tell Kahlan had questions and it was probably why she wanted them to spend time together. As much as she wanted to avoid them, she knew that if she refused to help Kahlan, it would raise even more questions so she agreed to help her with the search. After all, like Kahlan had said, the library was big enough so that they wouldn’t have to be near each other while searching in silence and she could also use this opportunity to ask about Zedd’s release once more.

Once they were in the library, Kahlan gestured toward the tall shelves she had previously consulted and Cara went for the furthest one possible to start searching. Despite her best efforts to do her part quickly and efficiently, Kahlan kept finding some book or another that would get her excited and showed them all to her. She would also touch Cara’s hand and leave her fingers trail down her elbow or just rest her hand on the blonde’s back. Every time she did that, Cara would tense and pull away. Not abruptly of course, but it was obvious that she was refusing the contact in all forms and at all costs.

“So, have you thought about pardoning Zedd?” Cara asked to stop Kahlan from talking about another book she found. “You remember enough now to know that you were friends.”

Kahlan’s face turned serious again. “Whatever the case may have been in the past, even if we had been friends at some point, Zeddicus still plotted my demise and I cannot forget nor forgive someone who wished my downfall.” Her voice had turned cold. “You can visit him more frequently if you wish to but that’s my final word regarding the wizard.”

Cara didn’t say anything, they were already dangerously close to getting into another argument and that wouldn’t serve for anything. After another moment of silent searching, Kahlan exhaled loudly with relief as she found what they had been looking for and Cara was glad to see this search was finally over.

“For a moment, I thought we would have to search the whole place.” Kahlan chuckled and moved to show them to Cara.

Kahlan’s pinkie brushed over one of Cara’s fingers again and this time, the blonde pulled her hand away as if she had been burned, probably even faster, making the pieces of parchment fall on the ground. Kahlan frowned and Cara knew what was about to come, the woman would ask her what was wrong, what had been going on with her lately so Cara didn’t give her the chance to even begin speaking before she said quickly, “I’m going to see Zedd since we’re done here.” And before she had even finished that sentence, she was already halfway out of the library, leaving a very confused Kahlan behind.

Cara had never thought she would be happy to spend time in Kahlan’s dungeon and yet, once she reached the place, she sighed in relief, glad to have put some distance between her and the Mother Confessor. She composed herself as she approached Zedd’s cell. As usual, the man was happy to see her and he quickly asked her how things were going.

Cara frustratingly explained the situation, telling him all about the memories Kahlan had regained, the trip they had taken, the people they had met, and how, despite all that, Kahlan was still no closer to her old self. “I don’t understand, Zedd, she remembered. She saw the places we visited; she knows most of the things that had happened to her now and yet, it doesn’t change anything.” She sighed in defeat. “We need the amulet.”

“I know,” Zedd started gently. “But…”

“If you tell me where it is and who can fix it, I’ll find them and get it done.” Cara interrupted.

Zedd shook his head. “The only thing being stuck in this cell gives you is plenty of time to think and I remembered a few books from the Wizard’s Keep that could help us fix this but they are in a language that very few know and even if you get them for me, I still can’t do anything without my magic.”

“Alright, so what do we do now? What’s the plan from this point on? Dennee and I already tried everything we could think of and nothing gave us the results we were hoping for.” Even before Zedd could answer, Cara could tell she wasn’t going to like his reply.

“There’s nothing else we can do. We follow the original plan, keep trying to win her complete trust, and convince her to let me go on her own accord.” Zedd repeated, earning a frustrated groan from Cara.

“And what if that keeps getting us nowhere?” Cara was angry now, there was no point in trying something over and over again, doing the exact same thing but expecting different results.

Zedd pursed his lips with a worried frown. “Then, I’m afraid with the way the Keeper is so actively working, we’re all doomed…”

Cara remained quiet. The situation in the Midlands and the rest of the world was only getting worse and it didn’t seem like they had much chance of fixing it before it was too late, maybe their luck had finally run out…

Chapter Text

Cara quickly realized that avoiding Kahlan was only making her suspicious and seek her presence even more so she decided to change tactics. Instead of finding excuses not to see her, she let Kahlan come to her but every time the woman would try to be affectionate or say something nice, she would pull away.

After a calm dinner with Dennee and Kahlan - who seemed to be on speaking terms again - Cara prepared herself for Kahlan’s regular evening visit. She was lying on her bed reading when Kahlan barged into her room with an excited smile.

“Look what I found!” Kahlan exclaimed, slamming the door shut behind her and quickly hopping on the bed.

Cara looked at the book in Kahlan’s hand. “A book?” She raised a questioning eyebrow as she discreetly moved a bit further to the side of the bed.

“Yes!” Kahlan chuckled. “I never thought I would see it again. Remember the book I told you about, the one my mother used to read to Dennee and me? Well, I found it in the library.” She looked at the book and caressed the cover almost reverently. “I don’t know how it ended up there but I’m glad it did.”

Cara felt a smile stretch across her face at Kahlan’s enthusiasm, at this echo of the Kahlan she knew but then she frowned, distance, she reminded herself. “It’s… good.”

“Yes, let me read you my favorite part.” Kahlan moved closer and leaned against Cara as she skimmed through the book. “Here it is.” She rested her hand on Cara’s thigh.

This was too much so Cara quickly pulled away and left the bed. What was it with Kahlan and the lack of personal space? She knew her reaction was abrupt and she could tell right away that Kahlan was displeased by it.

“What are you doing?” Kahlan questioned with a frown.

Cara looked around, trying to find an excuse. “I’m just going to sit at the table to…”

“Stop that!” Kahlan cut her off sharply. “Do you think I haven’t noticed that you keep pulling away from me every time I come close to you? You should know that I won’t confess you with just one touch.”

“I know.” Cara had been close to being confessed enough times to know when she was in danger and when the touch was friendly.

“Then why are you so distant?” Kahlan asked, sitting up on the bed.

Cara shrugged nonchalantly. “No reason...”

“There must be one or you wouldn’t do this.” Kahlan silently studied her for a moment. “Is it because I joined you in bed the other day? Because I had no wicked intentions and I…”

“You are Richard’s mate.” Cara finally blurted out. She knew it didn’t mean anything to this Kahlan but it used to matter and it still did to Richard and her. She was aware that this type of remark tended to infuriate Kahlan but it was better to face her anger than to allow this particular conversation to go any further.

“I made it clear that I wasn’t anymore,” Kahlan stated firmly.

“You also said that you wanted a mate to continue the line of Confessors,” Cara reminded her, everything she said sounded like a poor excuse for her attitude but it was easier than the truth, easier than whatever was going on between them and shouldn’t be acknowledged, ever.

“It is not my priority at the moment,” Kahlan replied quickly, as if she had an answer for everything. “Where is this all coming from?” She questioned, confused. “What is the problem?”

Cara held back a groan, she should have known Kahlan wouldn’t back down so easily. “I am not a toy you can use and throw away.” She stated, hoping that it would stop whatever intention Kahlan had.

“I…” Kahlan frowned. “I thought it was obvious that I was interested and not just because…”

“Well, I don’t think your interest is as genuine as you think it is,” Cara answered harshly.

Kahlan closed her book shut with a loud snap as a flash of hurt came and went in her eyes. Without a word, she stood up and left the room, slamming the door behind her.

Cara blinked in confusion, wondering what had just happened. She had expected Kahlan to get angry, or to laugh it off as always but not to leave that way, like she had hurt her feelings when Cara thought she had none, well at least not that kind, because she knew Kahlan still cared but… Cara exhaled loudly, what did she miss?

After avoiding Kahlan as much as possible for a few days, it felt weird for Cara to be the one being ignored now. She hadn’t been the only one suffering from Kahlan’s sour mood, the whole staff had been hugging the walls to avoid suffering her wrath and of course Dennee had been too happy to blame it all on her. She had reminded the woman that she had been pestering her sister for days and if someone was responsible, it was her but it didn’t change anything.

It took three days of getting the cold shoulder from Kahlan for Cara to realize that, maybe Dennee was slightly right about her part of responsibility in Kahlan’s attitude. She still thought Dennee was the main reason why her sister was acting up but Cara had also said some things to the Confessor that she apparently shouldn’t have. She knew she had to do something to fix the situation but apologizing was such a foreign concept and besides, she didn’t even know what she had said wrong.

So, in the end, Cara decided to just confront the woman and ask her what was wrong. She found Kahlan in her office and the lack of smile when she entered let her know that it wasn’t going to be a nice conversation.

“Cara,” Kahlan said, barely lifting her eyes from the documents she was reading. “I am busy.”

Care ignored her and sat in front of her desk. “I’m sure you can spare a short moment of your time to talk.”

“Why should I?” Kahlan raised a questioning eyebrow. “It’s not like you tried to make time for me lately.” Her tone was accusatory.

“Are we back to keeping score again?” Cara questioned. She knew she deserved Kahlan’s jab but it still annoyed her.

“You tell me.” Kahlan leaned back against her chair and crossed her arms. “We said that maybe we were friends but on second thought, I don’t even think you know what friendship is. I remember Richard telling you to be his friend and not serve him and yet, you continue to be his guard dog, defending things and people he has no claim over.”

Cara scoffed. “That’s rich coming from someone who banned Richard from entering the palace and locked Zedd in a cell, two people who are, you know, your closest friends.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that they mean nothing to me?” Kahlan snapped, her voice rising.

“Once more apparently!” Cara barked back before realizing that she was making things worse. She took a deep breath and asked, “What’s your problem, really? Because I don’t think it’s about the meaning of friendship.” Although her voice wasn’t gentle, she wasn’t yelling this time.

Kahlan sighed, relaxing slightly. “You’re right, it isn’t about friendship, it’s about…” She seemed to deflate at the last moment, clapping her mouth shut. She cleared her throat. “It’s about how I thought we were past doubting each other.”

“We were.” Cara frowned. “We are, I…” She was trying to figure out what Kahlan really meant and what she had originally wanted to say but the Confessor interrupted her before she could ask more.

“Good,” Kahlan stated. “Now, could you leave? I have things to do.” She looked back at the documents on her desk.

Cara’s frown deepened. She didn’t know if Kahlan believed her or if she just wanted to conclude the conversation but she didn’t like her answer. “Kahlan.”

“Cara,” Kahlan looked up. “Please.”

Cara clenched her jaw and nodded curtly. “Fine.” She knew when she wasn’t welcome and it was clear that she wouldn’t get more from Kahlan anyway.

The sky was dark and it was past the time when Kahlan would usually meet Cara in her chambers. It was clear now that the Mother Confessor wouldn’t be joining her. Cara let out a sigh, she was still annoyed at having been dismissed by Kahlan earlier in the day and had hoped to say her piece in the evening. Apparently, it wasn’t going to happen, unless… Cara resolutely nodded to herself and stood up from her bed, if Kahlan wasn’t coming to her, she would go to her.

Cara started with the most obvious place Kahlan could be at that time, her chambers. She knocked but no one answered. She rested her ear on the door to hear if Kahlan was there but it was silent and she doubted the woman was asleep already if she was there so she decided to try somewhere else. She checked Kahlan’s office next but it was empty as well, then she tried the petition room and its side office with no luck.

She stopped a moment to think about the next room she could visit and after a short pause, she decided to check the library, since Kahlan had been spending a lot of time there lately. Once Cara entered the library, she searched one aisle after the other for the Mother Confessor but without success. Just to be sure, she went to Kahlan’s favorite spot, a small table nestled in an alcove right beneath the large windows. These were one of the biggest ones in the entire palace but Cara thought it made sense, especially since one needed plenty of light in the library. Cara noticed the light that was reflected on the wooden table, different shades of blue framed the white glow of the moon and when she took a closer look, she saw the most mesmerizing designs in the frame of the windows. All four transparent windows were framed individually by stained glass designs that held the Aydindril crest at the center, above everything else, and gave the place that touch of magic and uniqueness. The walls on the left and right seemed to hug the small space from both sides, giving the person who would sit there a bit more privacy.

Cara inspected the spot closer; the chair and the candles were still warm so it meant that someone had been there not too long ago. She glanced at the pile of books on the table, expecting them to be about history, war strategies, or even laws but they were all about poetry and fables. She raised a surprised eyebrow at that. She looked around to see if they were coming from a nearby bookshelf and spotted some missing books a few shelves away. She moved to take a closer look at the collection on display. She scanned the titles until one caught her attention ‘Tales of D’Hara’. She grabbed the book and leafed through it. She stopped when she recognized a story that her mother used to tell her and Grace. She smiled despite herself, a bittersweet feeling washing over her. She closed the book, ready to put it back but then decided otherwise, if she couldn’t find Kahlan, she could still do some light reading before bed.

The blonde made her way back to Kahlan’s chambers, hoping that this time, the woman would be there. She listened carefully and heard noises coming from the room so she knocked. Not so surprisingly, Kahlan didn’t answer. No one would dare disturb the Mother Confessor at that time of the night except for her and Dennee and none of them seemed to be on Kahlan’s good side at the moment. Not discouraged, Cara knocked again and said, “Kahlan, I know you’re inside.”

There was a pause then Kahlan answered her. “If I am not telling you to come in it means I do not wish to see you right now.”

Cara rolled her eyes, this was childish. She put her hand on the doorknob and to her relief, the door was unlocked so she entered. Kahlan was sitting on the big chair in front of the unlit fireplace, her eyes lost in the distance.

“Whatever you came here for, I’m sure it can wait until tomorrow,” Kahlan stated wearily without looking at Cara.

Cara stepped further into the room, ready to argue, to tell her that no, it couldn’t wait because she wanted to know what was wrong but then Kahlan locked eyes with her and Cara saw the deep exhaustion that the woman rarely allowed anyone to see. It dawned on Cara that if this Kahlan was backing down from a fight before it even started, it meant that she was really worn out, and arguing with her right now would be pointless.

They silently stared at each other for a little longer before Cara nodded. “Alright, get some rest.” She said without thinking. She took a few steps toward the door, ready to leave, but then she realized she still had a book in her hand. She looked down at it and thought about Kahlan’s visit a few nights ago and how she had brought a book from her childhood. Maybe she could do the same and give it to Kahlan as a gesture of goodwill. Before she could second guess herself, she turned around and put it on the bed. “Here, some reading…” She felt Kahlan’s eyes on her and suddenly felt stupid so she quickly made her way back to the door but this time, Kahlan stopped her.

“What is it about?” Kahlan asked, finally standing up to take a look at the book.

“Uh…” Cara rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. It sounded ridiculous now to explain why she had taken that book and why she was giving it to Kahlan but it was too late to take it back. “There is a story my… mother used to tell me in it. Since you seem so fond of children’s stories lately, I thought…” She trailed off, she didn’t know what she thought and that was why she was in this situation right now. She sighed; she should have just left.

Kahlan silently skimmed through the pages and then looked at Cara. “Would you mind reading it to me?”

“I don’t think…” Cara cleared her throat, why did she feel so insure, it was pathetic. It was just Kahlan in front of her and she was simply asking her to read a book, a skill she had mastered since she was a little girl.

“Please?” Kahlan gave her a small but hopeful smile.

Cara could tell Kahlan was offering her an olive branch and she didn’t have it in her to refuse so she nodded and took the book. They settled on the bed but, unlike the previous times, Kahlan didn’t come closer, didn’t try to touch her, she only lay her head on the pillow and waited.

As Cara started reading, she felt the tension between them lessen and she finally let herself relax…

On the next day and the ones that followed, neither of them mentioned what had happened. After the precious moment of calm that had transpired between them the other night, it was safer to leave the explanations and apologies behind. Both women just went back to how it was before and pretended that everything was fine, normal, completely normal.

Kahlan announced that she was organizing a summit with the leaders of the Westland, to discuss the tensions and the possible resolutions before the conflict could escalate and get out of hand. All these political shenanigans were never Cara’s favorite things but she actually thought it was a good idea and besides, it wasn’t up to her to maneuver that meeting anyway. What came as an even bigger surprise for her was that Kahlan had asked her to be her escort for the evening and the blonde found herself not wanting to deny the invitation.

The preparations were quick and well-organized, everyone knew their task and how to do it so when the day of the reception came, the palace was brimming with the excitement of the newcomers walking through its halls. The white and blue banners of the city were proudly displayed at the gates, on the streets leading to the palace, and the royal blue half was standing out boastfully even from the grey walls of the ballroom itself. The aromas of herbs, spices, sweet wine, and meat intertwined and drifted in the air of the banquet room where people were beginning to gather around the tables.

Cara appeared at Kahlan’s door feeling a bit uneasy, wondering for the first time if maybe she should have opted for another outfit. She was the Mother Confessor’s escort after all but it wasn’t like she had different leathers to wear and a dress was out of the question. She took one deep breath and lifted her hand to knock on the door, only to have it open swiftly by itself. Kahlan’s form appeared in front of her and the blonde was mesmerized by the vision that stood on the other side of the door frame. Cara took a moment to appreciate Kahlan’s dress but she quickly remembered herself, shook her head, and offered her arm with a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. 

The Mother Confessor gladly looped their arms and walked out of her room with her head held high, unwavering even for a moment as they entered the ballroom and she nodded to everyone who saluted her on her way with a reverent bow. Despite the general fear, everyone looked at her with awe, respect, and maybe even just a tad of jealousy in their eyes. Cara wasn't sure how someone could look so bold and tantalizing when they were dressed in something that covered them from head to toe but seeing Kahlan now, she realized that if someone could do it, it would definitely be Kahlan and she was right.

The Mother Confessor had picked out a long snowy white A-line dress. The cleavage was minimal - her usual attire even allowed a more generous view - and the open sleeves started from the royal blue, embroidered bands above her elbows and fell all the way to the level of her knees. The fabric was hugging the upper part of her body, accentuating every curve, dip, and swell until it reached the waistline and then allowed a looser line to fall around the entire length of her legs, ending like an open tulip hanging upside down. Richer blue motives defined the neckline and there was one unique pattern where her belly button should be, letting a trail of three columns of blue ornaments descend all the way to the lower edge of the dress. The embroidered ornaments looked like they formed an interrupted triangle with a line in the middle, the saturated color standing out brightly against the snowy white of the rest of Kahlan’s dress. Cara had a feeling that she wouldn't be able to forget how Kahlan looked tonight, not even in a million years.

It was incredibly hard for Cara to tear her gaze away from Kahlan that night but she willed herself to drag her eyes away and as the evening progressed, she realized that she was genuinely glad to be there with Kahlan and not just for the mission. She enjoyed spending time with the other woman and she had missed that the past week, as much as she tried to ignore and deny it, Cara had missed hearing Kahlan ramble about a book or teasing her for her mild obsession with honey cakes. Cara had missed laughing with her and just having her company near so tonight, she wanted to enjoy the evening even more without having to think about anything else.

Cara watched Kahlan charm every single person in that room. She had to admit, the Mother Confessor, as harsh as she could be sometimes, could also be incredibly charming, elegant, and alluring. After the dinner ended, she heard Kahlan ask the leader of the Westland, First Councilor Merek, and his right-hand man to join her in the private sitting room nearby.

“Care to join us as well?” Kahlan asked as she turned to the still sitting Cara by her side, even though the use of a question was more for decorum purposes.

Cara could tell that Kahlan wanted her by her side and yet, she hesitated, a bit unsure of how her presence might affect the already tense situation.

“He brought his advisor, it’s only fair that I bring mine.” The Mother Confessor stated when Cara didn’t move.

Cara raised an eyebrow. “Am I your advisor now?”

“No,” Kahlan chuckled as if it was a ludicrous idea. “I don’t need anyone to rule, but I could use the company.” She smiled sweetly.

“That’s what I thought,” Cara snorted but stood up anyway. “Lead the way, Mother Confessor.” She bowed exaggeratedly low.

The walk to the sitting room was a quiet one but Cara could see Kahlan’s silent discussion in her own head as her eyes stared straight ahead, unwavering. Kahlan looked as if she was ready to issue a verdict and the small hairs on the back of Cara’s neck now stood in alert.

Kahlan walked into the room first, followed by Cara and the two men after them, and the moment the door closed behind them Kahlan began speaking.

“As you may be aware, the code of Aydindril allows me to wage a war against the Westland for what you have done, a war that I’m sure you know I would win,” Kahlan said, looking at the leader as if he was a little more than a mouse.

A shiver ran through Cara’s spine, steeling herself in case the Mother Confessor decided to go down that road and declare a war. This was the last thing they needed at the moment, this Kahlan starting an open conflict when the Keeper kept attacking the lands and people were still recovering from the war with D’Hara.

“However… I am willing to give you the opportunity to avoid such events from happening. Sign the treaty I’ve prepared and avoid a war, refuse and you will have no one else to blame but yourself for the devastations the Westland will endure.” Kahlan took the scroll from where she had left it on the side table and gave it to the leader to read it. “The choice is yours, First Councilor.” Kahlan’s steel voice left the room in complete silence once more.

Cara could hear her own heart beating steadily, she was watching intently as the First Councilor and his man quickly read the treaty before looking at each other, leading a silent dialogue between them. She knew that Kahlan wasn’t back to her old self, it was clear to everyone but she could also see that the Confessor wasn’t the same person she used to be when Cara first arrived at the palace either. While the old Kahlan would have done everything to avoid another war and the new one would have started such a war over something much milder, the woman that was standing next to her now gave the Westlanders a choice. One that was somewhere in the middle between the previous two. Aside from the threat, she hadn’t tried to mask with politeness, Kahlan had also offered an alternative and according to the expression that the First Councilor and his advisor were showing on their faces, the treaty was an acceptable compromise.

Despite her doubts, what she and Dennee had done had clearly served for something, it obviously had some impact on Kahlan but it was still insufficient. Perhaps Cara had done everything she could, perhaps she had reached the limits of what parts of Kahlan she could give her back and the rest must be fixed with magic. Nothing could undo the effects of magic completely if not for magic itself.

“I must say, Mother Confessor, your reputation doesn’t fit what we are seeing right now.” The First Councilor’s voice was brimming with distaste.

Kahlan’s eyes narrowed dangerously but when she spoke, her voice was calm, scarily calm. “A reputation of what? Someone you could use and abuse at your will as you try to expand your kingdom at the Midlands’ expense?”

Cara found herself speaking before she could think twice about it. “And I must add, even the woman from the stories you’ve heard wouldn’t have tolerated such arrogant behavior.” As understanding as the real Kahlan could be, she wasn’t a fragile thing, she was a leader and she knew how to make tough decisions for the greater good. She didn’t know why it felt important to defend her but just seeing the red anger on his face was worth it.

“We will sign your treaty.” First Councilor Merek exhaled, it was clear that he had lost the game and the moment the quill in his hand touched the paper and signed it, he admitted his absolute and irrevocable defeat. 

Leaving the room, Kahlan locked her arm with Cara, mirroring the way the evening had started as they made their way to the ballroom once more. The blonde could feel Kahlan’s eyes on her, her arm giving her a small squeeze, thanking her silently for the support.

Cara grabbed two glasses filled with wine from one of the tables and offered one to Kahlan, they certainly deserved it.

“Should we toast to something?” Kahlan asked.

A coy smile appeared on Cara’s face as she lifted her drink. “To not starting a war.”

“To not starting a war.” The Mother Confessor chuckled and clinked their glasses together.

Chapter Text

The relief of avoiding another war didn’t last long as news of a disaster arrived soon after the summit. Cara was in Kahlan’s office when the Mother Confessor received a report of a landslide in the south. She watched as Kahlan’s face quickly changed from worried to concerned, to anxious. The landslide had been caused by the tearing in the veil, at a village near Tamarang.

It seemed to finally dawn on Kahlan that the spread of the Keeper’s reach was getting wider, that death, banelings, and plagues would soon get to the Callisktrin River and once his poison would reach the waters, it would reach every village and every town near it as well and from there, it would only be a matter of time before it spread like a disease all over the continent.

“Let me go check the situation for you.” Cara offered as she saw the other woman think about the best course of action for this. “I know you don’t like leaving the palace for long.” Even if she couldn’t help Richard in his quest right now because she had to protect Kahlan, she could at least try to stop the Keeper in one village.

“Okay,” Kahlan agreed after a while. “Get ready and go, you’ll need all the daylight for your journey.”

The blonde quickly got out of the room and headed to her chambers, getting ready quickly before rushing to the stables. It was barely after breakfast but she already knew that she would have to push Hester a little bit more if she wanted to make it to the village in two days’ time.

Cara finished adjusting the stirrup leather and was just about to climb on top of her horse when she heard Dahy neigh. He was much calmer than Hester and the only time she had seen him get excited was when he would see his rider. And just like that, Cara heard a familiar voice coming from behind Hester.

“It’s good to see you too, boy.” Kahlan touched Dahy’s forehead and the horse happily pushed against her hand.

Cara noticed the saddle in her arms and stared in surprise. “I thought you were staying here. Or do you not trust me?” She teased but she couldn’t see Kahlan’s face as the other woman was working on putting the saddle on top of Dahy.

“I asked Dennee to take over my duties for a few days,” Kahlan replied without answering Cara’s questions. Suddenly, her expression turned somber. “They are my people, Cara, I can’t watch them suffer if I can help it. I’ve neglected my duty toward them for far too long already.” Her voice was filled with regret.

“Let’s go then.” Cara’s respect toward Kahlan only grew after hearing her say that and even though the blonde wanted to say something to comfort her, she wasn’t sure if anything could help right now so instead, she just gave Kahlan a nod of understanding, and waited for her to finish saddling Dahy.

It took them one and a half day of continuous galloping, only stopping for the horses to get some rest and sleep when the moonless sky above them was almost completely dark. The heavy rains of the season hadn’t helped the situation either but luckily for Kahlan and Cara, it had all tampered down to a soft, mist-like drizzle.

As they rode into town, they saw the disastrous state of everything around them. The main road was cut and the horses were now making their way through a narrow passage that once was wide enough to accommodate two full carriages. Stones, mud, and broken tree trunks and branches surrounded them. Hester even almost got hit by a falling stone the size of a goblet of wine. Many of the houses were destroyed, completely swallowed by the ground. It was clear that not everyone had gotten the time to escape when it all happened and unfortunately, some people had paid with their lives.

Kahlan was quite upset by the scene and even though Cara couldn’t say that she was surprised, she didn’t think it would touch the Mother Confessor that much. Kahlan quickly dismounted Dahy and Cara did the same with Hester. The blonde followed as the Mother Confessor rushed to help the people still looking for their friends and family under all the rubble. While looking for survivors, they stumbled on more than one occasion on a corpse instead.

As the night approached, the two women decided to take a small break and sat on one of the big rocks that the mudslide had dragged there. After taking a sip of water from their waterskin, Cara passed it to Kahlan so she could drink. She watched as the Mother Confessor approached the waterskin to her lips then stopped. “It’s not poisoned, I just drank from…”

“Shh!” Kahlan didn’t allow Cara to say anything more as she started looking around them.

Cara couldn’t hear anything but before she had the chance to ask again what was happening, Kahlan jumped up from her spot and began walking toward one of the bigger piles of dirt near them.

“Kahlan, where are you going?” Cara asked as she stared at the woman in confusion.

“Can’t you hear it? There’s somebody trapped beneath all that dirt.” The Mother Confessor was now digging with her own bare hands.

Cara frowned and moved closer to Kahlan with a torch. “Kahlan, it’s been almost two days, all of the people we tried to help uncover were long dead and…” She clapped her mouth shut when a small, muffled voice finally reached her ears.

“You heard that, right?” Kahlan questioned.

Cara plunged the torch into the muddy ground before kneeling down next to Kahlan and digging frantically as well. 

They were at the furthest end of the village, most of the people who had survived were now focusing their attention on looking for food and water for the other survivors since it had been almost a day since they had heard any cries from under the wrecked houses. 

Cara briefly glanced at Kahlan and noted the state she was in. The Mother Confessor had scraped her hands and arms on some of the sharper stones and her blood had mixed with the dark brown of the soil. Her white robes had long since turned brown but Kahlan didn’t seem to care about such trivialities.

The cries for help had turned into exhausted sobs by the time Kahlan’s hands discovered the top part of a wooden roof. Now, they could both recognize the voice of a child asking for help. It was nothing short of a miracle that the child had survived this long. Now that they were so close to getting them out, Cara saw Kahlan digging with renewed vigor.

Finally, both women managed to dig a hole big enough to get a small girl - not older than 7 summers - out from under the wooden beams. Had she been just two steps to the left, this would have gone very differently. 

The girl was as quick as a small bunny in wiggling out and jumping into Kahlan’s arms, catching the mighty Mother Confessor completely by surprise. Cara watched stunned as Kahlan didn’t rush to separate the kid from her but instead, let her hold on to her for dear life, giving her a chance to breathe some fresh air and calm down even.

The blonde was ready to shout for the nearest group of people to come join them and see if the little girl had any surviving family when Kahlan’s voice caught her attention.

“It’s okay, little one, you’re safe,” Kahlan said gently.

Cara felt her lips stretch in a slow smile. She hadn’t heard that tone in a long time, Kahlan’s soft and caring voice that would make even the coldest heart melt a little. It was good to see this side of Kahlan making a comeback, even if for a short moment. The little girl held Kahlan closer, covering the Mother Confessor with even more mud than before. Cara let out a little laugh at the dirt now covering Kahlan’s hair but she also felt a hint of relief at finding another survivor. Without thinking, she put her hand on Kahlan’s shoulder to show some support.

Kahlan looked up and smiled at her softly. They stayed that way until they heard a group of survivors making their way toward them.

They had barely been back for a day when Kahlan received another report on banelings attack not too far from Aydindril. Cara wasn’t one to get alarmed easily but she could tell the situation with the Keeper was reaching a critical point.

Kahlan asked Cara to come to her office so they could discuss the problem since Kahlan still didn’t remember all the details about the Keeper and Cara had faced numerous banelings.

“I don’t understand, isn’t Richard supposed to do something about this?” Kahlan questioned in annoyance. “My scouts told me that he is still in town and yet, he couldn’t stop the attack?”

Cara sighed. She knew Richard had probably tried but she didn’t think it would be enough for Kahlan. She needed to make her see how bad things were and how Richard needed help if they wanted to stop the situation from degrading even more. “If you want to protect the Midlands and still have a kingdom to rule over, you need to work with Richard.”

“I won’t follow him around the lands, it is his quest, not mine,” Kahlan stated firmly. “I have work to do here.”

“I know, but there are other ways to help,” Cara answered. Since Kahlan had warned her against bringing up Zedd again, she offered other ideas. “He could use soldiers, or maybe another Confessor…” She realized that it was just Kahlan and Dennee now and felt stupid for mentioning it. “Well, I mean, Dennee…”

Kahlan shook her head. “I don’t want to risk my sister’s safety for this.”

“If we don’t do anything, soon enough no one will be safe.” Cara’s voice rose slightly in exasperation. “I don’t know what Richard needs but maybe you could invite him for an audience and ask.”

Kahlan stared at Cara for a moment then sighed. “Fine, if that’s what it takes to keep the Midlands safe, I will talk to the Seeker.”

Richard entered Kahlan’s office in the early afternoon. The Mother Confessor wanted some privacy for their conversation, to avoid panic over the Keeper, so she had dismissed the idea of an audience in the petition room.

Kahlan was sitting straight behind her desk as Richard explained the situation in the different provinces. Cara was standing at attention in front of the door, staying out of the conversation for the moment.

The Mother Confessor held her hand up to stop Richard. “I do not need a report from you, Seeker, I have my own scouts for this.” She stated. “I want to know what you’re doing to stop the Keeper because clearly, it is not working.”

“I’ve been fighting banelings,” Richard replied defensively, clearly taking offense at Kahlan’s remark. “But to find the Stone of Tears, I need at least Zedd and Cara since I don’t suppose you want to join us.”

“You suppose correctly, Seeker,” Kahlan smirked then turned serious again. She paused for a long moment, re-reading the notes from her scouts. “I suppose I have no choice…” She sighed. “Very well, I will release the wizard, but he is under your responsibility which means that, if he tries to betray me again, you will both be sentenced to death.”

“Thank you, Mother Confessor.” Richard bowed his head slightly.

“Regarding Cara,” Kahlan glanced at the blonde. “I wish for her to stay. I believe a wizard of the First Order and the Seeker should be capable of fixing the situation themselves but…” She pursed her lips. “Ultimately, it is Cara’s choice.”

Cara took a step forward and opened her mouth to answer but then closed it. The answer should be obvious and yet, Cara found herself pausing. Technically, she should go with Richard, he was the Lord Rahl and his mission was important but Cara had tried to stop seeing him as a master - she didn’t need one – and more as a friend, a friend who had blamed her for a lot of things lately. Even if she ignored that part, she needed to be practical. She had seen the state of the Midlands and other kingdoms, the devastation and the banelings plaguing the lands, it was bad, and as much as she wanted to believe in Richard, she knew they were way behind, even maybe too late now to stop the Keeper. If it were the case, then the only person who could still do something was Kahlan because the prophecy made it clear that as long as the Mother Confessor lived, they had a chance. By staying, she could make sure Kahlan would stay alive, and even if she usually preferred going where the action was, she knew she would have her fights soon enough if the banelings kept coming closer. Cara ignored the small part of her mind telling her that she didn’t want to leave Kahlan and cleared her throat. “I will stay.”

Kahlan’s eyebrows rose in surprise before she gave Cara a genuine smile. She schooled her face and turned to Richard. “I will release Zeddicus soon and then you can be on your way to find the Stone of Tears.” She stood up. “Go wait for him at the gates.”

Richard nodded and made his way to the door, stopping next to Cara. “Are you sure you want to stay?” He murmured as his eyes searched Cara’s.

“Yes,” Cara looked down before forcing eye contact again. “You said it yourself a long time ago, we need to think about the prophecy…”

“Alright,” Richard seemed disappointed by her answer but nodded nonetheless. “Take care of her…” He squeezed Cara’s arm before leaving the room.

It was that same night that Cara found herself restlessly walking the corridors of the palace. After the meeting earlier in the day, she needed some time for herself and pacing in her room was only good for so long. She had made an important decision and a small part of her felt incredulous that she had chosen not to go back on the road with Richard. She had done her part, Zedd was free once more, Richard was back on his quest and she had managed to affirm that she was no longer just an obedient Mord’Sith. Cara had declared her own freedom, she had finally dared to take the reins of own her life, well perhaps not with so many words and dramatic speeches but the changes in her were obvious, undeniable, and completely unassailable.

Cara wasn’t sure where she was going, her mind was overflowing with thoughts and she paid no attention whatsoever to where her feet were taking her, she knew that the palace was secure and with the comforting weight of her agiels, she was prepared for everything.

It was already past bedtime for most people in the palace, including the servants so it was no surprise when Cara didn’t cross paths with anyone. She could usually hear a person approaching from at least fifteen paces away but there was nothing but silence around her and the occasional crackle from the lit torches. Step by step, Cara found herself at the end of a familiar corridor and opened the heavy, wooden door leading to a secluded terrasse. She took a deep breath; she could already feel the uneasiness from the day subsiding.

The first gulp of fresh air felt so good, filling her lungs and delivering the subtle scent of orange blossom from the gardens nearby. Cara closed her eyes for a moment and rested her hands on the stone parapet to steady herself. The second one felt liberating and soothing, spreading the calm of the night through her entire body and finally erasing even the last traces of rational thoughts in her mind. It was a warm night with a light wind that barely managed to make the smallest of leaves sway. Cara exhaled again and opened her eyes, looking up at the midnight skies where she could see hundreds of scintillating dots and not a single cloud in sight.

Cara heard steps approaching the terrace, they were lighter than those of the guards, besides this terrace wasn’t anywhere near the defensive walls, it made no sense for them to patrol there. This part of the palace was facing the lake, well within the borders of Aydindril and it wasn’t a very frequented place, if ever, that was why Cara had been glad when she first discovered it, it provided privacy, high above prying eyes. As the steps got closer and closer, Cara didn’t need to turn around to know who had just joined her through the open door.

“How do you always manage to find me?” Cara asked unmoving, her eyes still looking up at the stars. “Were you following?” Her tone was teasing and she knew the other woman didn’t need to see her face to know that. It looked like Kahlan had discovered her hiding spot just like she herself had done before with the Confessor.

Kahlan chuckled and shook her head slightly. “No, it’s just pretty late and we usually meet after dinner. When I went to check on you, I saw that you weren’t in your room so I started looking for you…” Her voice was light but there was a hint of shyness at the admission. Silence settled, leaving both women standing a few feet apart, not moving or speaking, just being there, rooted in the moment. “Do you want to talk about it?” She asked gently after a while.

“No.” Cara’s answer followed a little too rapidly but she turned and gave Kahlan a small, appreciative smile. It was enough to signal the Confessor that she was welcome to come closer to her, even if Cara didn’t want to talk, she wanted Kahlan’s company closer to her.

“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t regret your decision…” Kahlan asked, suddenly worried. “You don’t, right?” She moved to stand next to Cara.

“I stand by my choice.” Cara sounded resolute, she knew what Kahlan meant with her previous words, it was a way of saying without voicing it that she was worried Cara would change her mind and leave. The blonde was now looking into Kahlan’s blue eyes and she could see the small spark of mischievousness there.

“I’m glad.” Kahlan smiled softly before pressing her lips against the corner of Cara’s mouth. She lingered for a moment longer before pulling away. “Thank you…”

Cara nodded briskly. She knew Kahlan’s words carried a lot of weight, her thank you meaning a lot more than what they were both ready to acknowledge, so she stayed silent and turned her head back toward the skies.

Kahlan leaned her head on Cara’s shoulder, mirroring their position from that day on the lake as they enjoyed watching the stars in silence. 

Cara was standing on the balcony of her bedroom, lost in thoughts now that Kahlan had retired to her chambers. It had been a week since she watched Richard and Zedd leave the palace together and she couldn’t help but wonder how their quest for the Stone of Tears was going.

She had feared regretting her decision at some point but it wasn’t the case, especially since Kahlan seemed to really trust her now. The woman had also been more affectionate the past week, even more than before their fight and Cara could feel her resolve weakening. She sighed. “What am I even doing?” She asked herself out loud.

A caw sounded in the sky, as if answering her. Cara looked up and saw a craw flying toward her before landing on the stone railing. She squinted at it suspiciously, wondering if this was a trick then she noticed the little note tied to its talon. She frowned, she only knew one person who would try to contact her that way, and the wizard was supposed to be leagues away. She looked over her shoulder, making sure Kahlan hadn’t come back for some reason or another, and carefully took the note. It was indeed from Zedd and it was informing her that he had found a way to fix the amulet and that it had been a good idea for her to stay behind because now, she had to persuade Kahlan to let them undo the spell that had befallen her. It was important for Kahlan to be willing or the incantation wouldn’t work.

Cara exhaled; it wasn’t going to be easy to convince Kahlan but she knew it was for the best. It was too late to talk to the Mother Confessor now so it would have to wait till morning. At least, it would give her enough time to think about the best line of approach.

The next day, Cara decided to wait until their evening talk to bring the subject up. Even if she wanted Kahlan to feel like everything was fine, she thought it was best not to prepare a game of farkle since it would divide the woman’s attention. Instead, Cara settled on her bed and waited for Kahlan.

The Mother Confessor joined her not long after, a genuine smile on her face as she entered the room. She strolled toward the bed. “No game tonight?”

Cara shook her head. “No, I thought we could talk.” She tried to sound nonchalant as she patted the bed. She wanted Kahlan to feel relaxed for their conversation and she knew lying in bed next to her usually helped, not that they had discussed that out loud.

“Are you feeling well? This doesn’t sound like you.” Kahlan teased as she sat on the bed next to Cara.

“Well, there is a first time for everything,” Cara replied, her voice serious.

“Are you leaving?” Kahlan frowned, all traces of her previous amusement gone.

“No, I’m not,” Cara assured her. “But you might soon.”

Kahlan’s frown deepened. “What do you mean?”

“Zedd found a way to fix the amulet that caused your amnesia and the loss of… certain aspects of your personality. If you wish, this could all be over by tomorrow and you could go back to the life you had before.”

Kahlan was out of the bed in a flash, rage written all over her face. “How dare he?” She roared as she paced the room. “I warned him and the Seeker about this and yet, they still decided to go against my wishes. I should kill them both myself.” She stopped abruptly and looked at Cara. “Did you know about this? Is that why you stayed here?”

“I didn’t know, no,” Cara calmly answered the accusation. “I thought they were leagues away.”

Kahlan came closer and took Cara’s chin in her hand and searched her eyes. “I believe you.” She said after a while, her anger slowly subsiding.

Cara fought not to pull away from the touch. She could tell breaking the contact might ruin Kahlan’s shaky will to listen. “Kahlan, I’m sure you know that, deep down, it is the right thing to do.”

“I don’t.” Kahlan sat back on the side of the bed.

“Really?” Cara moved to sit by her side. “You don’t want to remember everything else you have forgotten?”

“I do, you have no idea,” Kahlan let out a sigh. “But I don’t want to go back to who I was.” She turned her body toward Cara’s and locked eyes with her.

“Then don’t,” Cara shrugged. “You are free to change, free to choose, you told me that enough times.”

Kahlan gnawed on her lower lip. “What if I like it here, the way it is, with you…”

“You won’t think the same once you’ll have your memory back,” Cara stated, almost dejectedly. She was trying not to think about how everything would change afterward, and how she wasn’t sure where she would fit into all that.

“What if I do?” Kahlan insisted, cupping Cara’s cheek gently. “What if I want more?”

Cara knew it wouldn’t happen, knew that the real Kahlan loved Richard too much to want her and even if she did, the woman still deserved someone better than her. Cara wanted to tell her as much but the hopeful look in Kahlan’s eyes stopped her. She wasn’t sure that Kahlan would accept to touch the amulet if she didn’t tell her what she wanted to hear so she took a deep breath and said, “Then I’ll be yours if you want me to…” The pledge felt like a cut to her heart, knowing it would never be the case but she ignored it.

Kahlan glanced at Cara’s lips and slowly leaned in to kiss her. Cara didn’t pull away this time, she let herself sink into the feeling of Kahlan’s soft lips on hers, let herself bathe in all the unspoken promises Kahlan was trying to convey as she deepened their kiss.

Tomorrow, Cara would have to give her up and bury whatever feelings she had for the woman, but tonight, Kahlan was hers and hers alone… 

Chapter Text

The petition room seemed somehow smaller all of a sudden, seeing Richard and Zeddicus again - way too soon for her liking - made Kahlan feel even more anxious about what was about to happen. She could see her sister standing next to Richard as the wizard lit a small bundle of dried herbs in a big copper bowl. Smoke began filling the room and she couldn’t keep her nervousness in check anymore as her eyes glanced at where Cara was standing aside from the group. It was as if she was ready to bolt out of the room at any moment, like she was distancing herself on purpose to prepare for the changes about to occur. Kahlan felt the palms of her hands beginning to sweat and her heart picking up its pace but seeing Cara looking at her, even if it was from the other end of the room helped her control her composed exterior.

It wasn’t long before Zeddicus started chanting in a language long forgotten by anyone else and the white smoke forming rivulets in the air intensified. Kahlan could clearly smell the lavender, the sage, and the thyme, there was even a sweeter peach-like scent but she had no idea what the wizard had used for the ritual.

Zeddicus placed the bowl on the ground and gestured for Kahlan to approach him. As she stood in front of the old man, he took the cracked amulet from his right pocket and began chanting faster as he held it with one hand over the smoking bowl and put his other hand on Kahlan’s forehead. She was sure that if the heavy smell of herbs didn’t give her a headache, his barking of the old language surely would do it. At first, it began as a small pressure at the back of her head, making her shake it from side to side in an attempt to chase the unpleasant sensation away but instead of decreasing, the building pressure started turning into a dull pain spreading through her entire brain. Zeddicus dropped the necklace into the bowl and the loud clatter reverberated in her mind, making her wince.

Kahlan gritted her teeth, trying to concentrate on something else than the intensifying pain but it wasn’t helping. She could feel the dull ache becoming stronger, deeper, sharper until it transformed into piercing agony and she was afraid she might end up breaking her teeth from the pain but just when it became unbearable and completely insufferable everything went black, and the anguish disappeared. Kahlan hadn’t noticed losing consciousness until she felt her body collapsing uncontrollably to the ground but before her eyes closed completely, she saw Cara’s worried expression as she ran to her but instead of feeling the blonde’s arms around her, she felt someone else’s. She had spent enough time around Cara to know that her arms were just as strong as the ones around her but her touch and hold were much gentler. She remembered when Cara had wrapped her arms around her that night in the blonde’s bed and it was completely different than now. Kahlan noticed the clumsy hold on her and the predominant smell of a horse clinging to the person that had caught her, leaving no room for doubt that it was in fact Richard that was holding her now.

She felt herself being carried to her throne and after a couple of moments, the haze in her mind began to clear and she opened her eyes once more. The first thing she noticed was Dennee’s hand on her shoulder and her eyes filled with worry but also a small, hopeful smile spreading on her lips. The second thing that woke up her mind even more, was the pair of hands now cupping her face but she ignored them, her gaze only moving from Dennee to Cara. The blonde was much closer now but still apart from the rest.

Kahlan felt as if she was seeing Cara for the first time, she studied the arch of her eyebrows, her green eyes, and the concerned look she gave her in return. The Confessor trailed her eyes over Cara’s parted lips, noting the slightly quickened breathing of the blonde, and felt her own anxiety melting away. With her mind now clear, the first gaps in her memories began to fill and the so far blurry moments suddenly became crystal clear recollections. She was back…

“Kahlan, are you … you?” Richard asked hesitantly.

His voice brought Kahlan out of her momentary trance. She finally realized that it was his hands holding her cheeks but she had no desire to move her sight from Cara’s direction. “Yes.” Kahlan cleared her throat. “I’m me…” She repeated to reassure everyone that the ritual had worked. She was confused, unsure of how exactly things had spiraled so rapidly and so uncontrollably out of hand. She was supposed to go back with Zedd and fix the issues quickly, she just had to deal with the prince, make sure the city and the people of Aydindril were fine and join back Richard and Cara somewhere on the road. The predominant feeling in her mind quickly turned from confused to lost, to overwhelmed. It felt like two different individuals that were merely cohabiting in the same body were suddenly mixing into one single personality, finding the balance that was once lost and becoming completely fused like two sides of the same coin. Yes, the blanks in her memory were filled again, this time successfully putting together everything from these last few months which felt good but the thoughts of all the people she had hurt and all the extreme decisions she had made suddenly crushed her with a gut-wrenching guilt. Remembering everything now allowed her to fully realize who she was and a tornado of emotions stormed her mind. It was almost too much to bear so she instinctively moved her gaze toward Cara again for support but the blonde was intentionally looking away from her. 

“I missed you so much.” Richard caressed Kahlan’s cheek with his thumb before leaning in to kiss her.

Kahlan was too distracted to stop him until he was an inch away from her face. “I can’t…” She put a hand to his chest to stop him and pulled back, the abrupt movement reminding her of the faint headache still present in her head. She sighed and touched her forehead.

“Are you not feeling well, child?” Zedd asked, arching his bushy eyebrows and taking the amulet out of the bowl. “The ritual worked; you should feel fine.” He added as he inspected the necklace carefully, there was no crack on it anymore, not even a scratch in fact.

“Don’t worry, Zedd,” Kahlan tried to reassure him with a smile. Her heart broke at the sight of the man’s thinned body and his gaunt cheeks, caused by weeks of imprisonment. He was one of the first people on a long list to who she had to apologize but it wasn’t the right time. “I’m well, I’m just…” She wasn’t sure how to put into words what she was feeling.

“Kahlan, what’s wrong?” Richard finally removed his hands from her face but didn’t step back.

“Nothing. It’s just… a lot. I need a moment.” Kahlan said but when she saw everyone but him was backing away, she quickly added, “Alone.”

“Of course, we understand that what happened to you is a lot to take in,” Zedd replied, ready to leave but Richard still hadn’t moved from his place.

“Are you sure you don’t even want silent company?” Richard questioned with a small smile.

Kahlan stared at him, suddenly remembering a comment Cara had made about Richard’s boyish smile a while ago, how it always seemed to make women around him swoon even though the blonde couldn’t understand why. She used to feel that way, but now… now it felt different, like she was seeing a lot of things with new eyes. “No, thank you.” She finally settled on answering, not wanting to sound rude. She saw his smile fall and his shoulder slump as he started to retreat with the others toward the door. They were all just about to get out of the room when Kahlan finally gathered the courage she needed to use her voice again. “Actually, Cara, do you mind staying behind for a moment?” She noticed the surprise on the blonde’s face as the others moved past her and closed the door once they were all out.

Cara walked back to where Kahlan was now getting up from her throne. That wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have while sitting there, she wanted to look Cara in the eyes and make the blonde understand that she meant every word of what she was about to say.

“I wanted to apologize for what I did and said these past few months, I was far from being the best version of myself, I must admit.” Kahlan looked down guiltily, her hair curtaining her face. “I also wanted to thank you as well…”

“No thanks or apology needed, it’s okay.” Cara cut her off sharply. “Let’s just pretend nothing happened and move on.”

The blonde’s dismissiveness made Kahlan feel as if someone had just punched her in the gut with all of their strength. “I… I don’t want to move on, Cara.” She locked eyes with the blonde once again. “I remember everything, I remember the compassion and the support you gave me even when I was cruel to you and didn’t deserve any of it. I remember you doing your best to provide sensible guidance and I even remember the benevolence you showed toward my people on numerous occasions even when… especially when my rulings were excessively harsh.” Kahlan spoke, ashamed. She knew that she had limited herself to following the laws of the Midlands but the crude codes were dictated long before her time and since the day she was named Mother Confessor, she knew that enforcing those ruthless decrees and strictly upholding them wasn’t the way she wanted her reign to be remembered for. She wanted to rule with the same compassion that she lived, with the same clemency that she had imparted in her judgments on the road, and with the same kindness that she had been shown on numerous occasions from complete strangers. Cara looked away and it suddenly dawned on her that maybe, they weren’t on the same page after all. “Oh, I see…” She said defeated. “You no longer feel the same way about me, you were just attracted to the powerful and ruthless ruler and now that I am my old boring self again, you are no longer interested.” She wasn’t sure if her voice was more accusatory or hurt, perhaps it was a strange mix of both but she couldn’t understand why Cara was looking at her as if she had suddenly sprouted a second head.

“That’s preposterous, Kahlan!” Cara crossed her arms. “You were the one who was interested in me because you had lost yourself. It’s okay, everything is back to normal so you can just go back to Richard, you don’t owe me any explanation.”

A tense silence engulfed them once more. Kahlan couldn’t understand why Cara was so quick to dismiss what they had shared all this time. She remembered seeing the desire in Cara’s eyes when she acted all mighty but she had also seen a more delicate side of Cara when the woman leaned into the softness of her touch. “I saw your kindness and mercy, as much as you like to deny it, and I saw your compassion and loyalty shine through in the moments they were most needed. I saw you being … you, the person who doesn’t need or want a master, the woman who wasn’t afraid to get into trouble for helping out two kids who were just trying to survive. You saved my life without even thinking twice about it so you can continue denying it all you want but despite being different, you and I still share many things. I saw the way you looked at me at the lake, in your bed that night my sister barged in, and even on that terrace...”

“You were confused and I was just… there...” The blonde tried again but this time, her voice was wavering. She cleared her throat. “Like I said, it’s fine, the situation was different before and there’s no need to keep talking about it.”

Kahlan took a deep breath and tried the last thing she could think of that could possibly make Cara lower her guard and stop denying everything. “I don’t think my attraction to you is new either.” She began and heard Cara’s sharp intake of breath. She had finally made her listen to her, good. “My love for Richard was slowly transforming into more of a friendship bond than anything else, I could feel it and I’m pretty sure that on some level, he had felt it as well. Even if he wouldn’t admit it, it wouldn’t have taken me long to do so. You and I started getting closer but I fought the voice in my head that was telling me it could lead to more because I knew our relationship was complicated enough as it was. But being away from Richard and Zedd made me think and I don’t want to ignore it anymore, especially after the time we spent together. I want to see where that… thing between us could lead and I’m pretty sure you feel the same way as well but the choice is yours too.” She braced herself for another dismissal but as the silence stretched, Kahlan realized it might not come. She could see Cara’s focused look on her face, the gears turning in her mind and thoughts racing each other.

“Are you sure?” Cara finally broke the silence with a surprisingly steady voice. “What about Richard?”

“I love Richard…” Kahlan started and she could see the panic returning in the blonde’s eyes as she held her breath. “But as I said, I am not in love with him and I couldn’t be surer of my feelings for you. What I feel for you is real Cara, it is not a game, an impulse, or a memory of who I used to be all these months ago.”

“I…” Cara exhaled loudly. “I liked spending all that time with you too, and, well, I wouldn’t mind seeing where this…” She gestured to the space between them before continuing, “where this goes either.” Her lips curled up in a small smile.

Kahlan knew the blonde had been holding back before and was extremely glad now to see her embrace the change in their relationship. She closed the gap between them and placed a gentle, sweet kiss on Cara’s lips. It was much shorter than she would have liked but it was full of promises. “I want nothing else than to continue exploring this with you but I have to talk to Richard first to leave all our minds at ease.” She gave Cara’s hand a gentle squeeze. She wanted to do this right and that meant ignoring the selfish voice inside her mind, urging her to stay with Cara instead. But there was no rush now, she had felt Cara melting into the kiss and even the way her hands had snaked around Kahlan’s waist was a testament that the blonde wasn’t going anywhere.

Kahlan silently led Richard to a private parlor. She could feel his questioning eyes on her but he seemed too afraid to speak yet. It didn’t last long though, because as soon as they were alone in the room, Richard asked her what she had told Cara.

“It is between Cara and me,” Kahlan stated firmly. It might sound a bit harsh but even if she was herself again, she could tell the experience had left a mark on her. She needed time alone to process everything but something was telling her that some good could come out of it. As she studied Richard, she realized that she had lost herself a bit with him, caved on many things just to please him, and now that she felt complete again, she didn’t want to lose a part of herself again. Her vision of love might have been a bit naïve before but now, she knew that love wasn’t believing your mate was perfect, it was embracing the fact that they weren’t. Love should make you want to be bigger and better, not smaller so your lover could shine like she had done with Richard. “I wanted to talk to you, about us.”

“It’s okay,” Richard reassured with a small smile. “I know you weren’t yourself and I don’t blame you for what you said.” He stepped closer and took Kahlan’s hands in his. “We can just…”

“No, Richard,” Kahlan interrupted him, pulling away from his touch. “Even though my past self said it quite harshly, I…” She didn’t want to hurt Richard because she still cared deeply about him, but she knew some things had to be said. “I meant it when I said my feelings for you had changed.”

Richard frowned, taking a step backward. “Because of Cara?”

“No, do not blame Cara.” Kahlan rushed to say, not wanting him to blame her… whatever Cara was to her. “I knew we would reach that point eventually, I just didn’t want to acknowledge it until we were done with your quest but, things are different now and although I do care about you, there is no future for us, for anything but friendship.”

“I don’t understand, what changed?” Richard stared at her sadly. “And if you knew, why didn’t you say anything sooner instead of letting me think we were fine.” His voice broke slightly.

“I didn’t want to hurt you or distract you from the quest.” Kahlan answered honestly before adding, “I also had to stop lying to myself…” It was another thing she had to think about once she would be alone but recognizing her faults was the first step. She had ignored too many things but she didn’t have that luxury anymore, especially if the Keeper had a chance to win, she didn’t want to end with any regrets.

“So,” Richard ran a hand through his hair. “It has nothing to do with Cara, nothing happened?”

Kahlan sighed. “We… I developed feelings for her, and even though it’s mutual, she never acted on them, I did.” She knew it wasn’t the whole truth but she wanted to protect Cara and salvage her friendship with Richard because it was important to them. She also didn’t like Richard’s accusations toward Cara after everything the woman had done for her. “Cara has been there for me the past few months, despite how poorly I treated her, at least at the beginning. She has been a good friend to all of us, please don’t overlook that for the wrong reasons.” She was ashamed of what she had put the woman through and knew that she would have to apologize again later, but one thing at the time.

“You’re right.” Richard looked down, properly chastised.

“I told you earlier that what Cara and I discussed was between the two of us but I still need to say this,” Kahlan took a deep breath. “I want to see where my relationship with Cara could go and I hope you can respect that.”

Richard stayed silent for a long moment then cleared his throat. “It hurts… and even though I can’t cheer for you two yet, I won’t stand in the way either.”

Kahlan gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

“What now?” Richard asked as he looked around the room.

Kahlan knew what she wanted to do, what she should do but it was better to say it in front of their friends too. “We should go back to the petition room; the others should hear it as well.” They made their way back to the petition room and as they entered, she felt all eyes on her. She ignored everyone to give Cara a reassuring smile before clearing her throat. “I wish we could celebrate my…return but there is much to do. When I… lost my way after traveling to Aydindril, I did many despicable things, things I will have to make amends for eventually,” She paused, trying to ignore the sickening memories of the people she had hurt. “But I wasn’t wrong about everything. It was a mistake to leave Aydindril and my people without leadership for so long. I know it was important to help you, Richard, but I should have found the time to come back sooner, if only to make sure someone of trust was there to protect the Midlands in my absence.” She sighed. “Right now, it is important to seal the rift so I will continue to help you in your quest, like I promised a long time ago but no more detours, no more friendly visits. We have lost a lot of time; we need to find the Stone of Tears and defeat the Keeper so the world can be safe again. Dennee.” She turned to her sister. “You will take over for me while I’m gone. I trust you to do what’s right for Aydindril and I will also reinstate the council to help you.” She saw Dennee nod at her with a smile. “But once this is all over, I will go back to Aydindril, go back to my people. This is where I belong.” Kahlan knew it now more than ever. She was more than the Seeker’s sidekick; she was the Mother Confessor and she had the power to change things. “And I would like Cara to be by my side,” She looked at the blonde with hopeful eyes. “If you want to, that is…”

Cara stared at her then a bashful smile appeared on her face. “I do…”  

Kahlan smiled back. She noticed the look of confusion on Dennee’s face but it quickly turned into resigned acceptance. She would have the time to talk to her sister later but for now, they should all get ready for their quest. “We can leave tomorrow at first light.”

Richard nodded and swiftly made his way to the door, as if he couldn’t wait to be alone. Kahlan couldn’t blame him after everything that had happened. Zedd gave her a small smile and followed his grandson. Kahlan smiled at him then looked at her sister. “I know you want to talk but I need a moment. Wait for me in my office?”

“Of course, take your time.” Dennee approached her and squeezed her shoulder before leaving. 

Now, it was just Kahlan and Cara in the room. “How are you?” The Mother Confessor asked as she stood in front of the blonde.

Cara snorted. “I think I should be the one asking you that.”

“I’m… exhausted but also, relieved.” Kahlan smiled wearily. Cara hesitantly reached out and touched her arm. It was enough for her to pull Cara closer and hug her tightly. “Thank you for everything.”

After a moment, Cara relaxed and held her back. They stayed that way for a while, just enjoying a moment of peace in each other’s arms.

They were back on the road, back to their quest and after spending so much time at the palace, it felt almost bittersweet for Kahlan. The paranoia she had felt in the past months had prevented her from traveling as she pleased so it was nice to see the Midlands again but at the same time, there was so much to do and undo in Ayndindril that she felt bad for leaving once again. She knew it was for the greater good, after all, if they didn’t stop the Keeper, there would be no palace to go home to but still, she couldn’t shake this now familiar guilt.

Her sad musings were interrupted by the growling of a belly. Kahlan looked to the side where Cara was riding her horse next to hers. She smiled at the frown on the blonde’s face as Cara stared at her traitorous stomach. Her… mate? had been cautious around her ever since they left Aydindril, as if she didn’t know how to behave around her, especially with Richard and Zedd around. Even if Kahlan was aware that they couldn’t really explore their relationship fully until they had defeated the Keeper and had some real privacy, she refused to hide her feelings and be anything but affectionate with Cara.

She guided her horse closer and leaned a bit on her saddle to poke Cara’s stomach. “Someone is hungry.”

“It’s your damn cook’s fault if I got used to nice, warm meals at regular hours,” Cara grumbled.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Kahlan cooed teasingly. “It must have been torture.”

Cara glared at her. “Don’t be so mighty, Mother Confessor, I blame you too.”

Kahlan laughed. Their time at the palace could be a touchy subject but she knew Cara was just being herself here so she took no offense in her comment. They had talked a bit before leaving Aydindril, once they were alone in her bedchamber. Kahlan had apologized again for everything she had done to Cara but the blonde held no grudges. Still, she wanted to show Cara that she was back to her old self and was ready to give her everything she deserved. Kahlan removed one strap of her bag and slid it in front of her torso. She opened it and rummaged through it until she pulled out a honey cake. “Would that help you forgive me?” She handed the cake to Cara.

“A bribe?” Cara smirked but quickly took the honey cake from Kahlan’s hand.

“No,” Kahlan chuckled. “I just know you like them so I made sure we had some for the road…”

Cara’s smirk turned into a real smile. “Thank you.” She cut the cake in two and offered one piece to Kahlan. When Kahlan raised a questioning eyebrow, Cara shrugged. “I know you like them too.”

Kahlan smiled softly at the small yet meaningful gesture. She took the piece of cake with her left hand so she could keep Cara’s hand in the other. She lifted it closer to her face and planted a kiss on the inside of Cara’s wrist, the only skin showing between her glove and the leather of her sleeve.

It was at this moment that Zedd decided to urge his horse forward so he could join them. “You know Cara, when I told you to get closer to Kahlan, this is not what it meant.”

“Zedd,” Kahlan said warningly. Even though she still felt bad for locking him away for so long and was trying to make it up to him, she wasn’t afraid to defend Cara from any type of accusation. She quickly noticed the way Cara tensed at the remark when she had been so relaxed a moment ago. She knew it was probably a joke but it didn’t hurt to show Cara her support.

“Come on, child, can’t an old man jest?” The wizard asked before turning serious. “It is true that it’s not something I expected, especially as Richard’s grandfather, but if you two found happiness in each other, then I’m happy for you.”

Tension left Cara’s body as she snorted. “Imprisonment made you soft, wizard.”

“And the palace life made you quite domestic, my dear.” Zedd chuckled before winking at Kahlan.

“As if.” Cara scoffed. “Don’t make me regret asking for your release.”

 “I wouldn’t dream of it!” Zedd laughed goodheartedly. “I’ll leave you two love birds alone.” He stated before urging his horse toward Richard.

“Never call us that again, wizard, or I swear!” Cara called after him.

Kahlan’s chuckle turned into a full laugh when Cara looked back at her with an offended glare. “Another cake, darling?” The bright smile Cara gave her in answer was worth the extra weight in her bag.

Being on the road again with Cara, Richard and Zedd almost made it seem as if nothing had happened, almost as if she hadn’t turned into a cold, callous ruler, almost as if she hadn’t ruined the lives of simple and ordinary people while she reigned under the influence of a cracked amulet.

The teasing, the easy conversations, and the comradery between the four of them were coming back bit by bit. The routines of being on the road clearly helped, they knew who made the best fire, caught the bigger fish or rabbit and who took care of setting the camp. Despite all that, Kahlan still felt the weight of her guilt.

They had been on the road for a while now and their journey took them to a village along the border so they could get some provisions. Richard needed a new sharpening stone, Cara wanted to visit a cobbler for her boots while Zedd was longing for a comfortable bed for at least one night. Kahlan, for her part, just wanted to see how her people were doing in more remote places.

The market of Piryn was one of the largest in the area and the moment they reached it, the group split up, deciding that it would be easier and faster for each of them to find what they needed and meet up later at the tavern like they usually did before. Kahlan and Cara of course stayed together and once Richard and Zedd were engulfed by the crowd, Kahlan reached for Cara’s hand. They had kept the physical touches to a minimum while traveling with the two men so it was nice for once to walk hand in hand without a care in the world. The market stalls were huddled so close to each other that there was barely any space for people to pass between them but with the abundance of goods offered, nobody cared for anything else. Kahlan loved visiting the markets, the stalls with the colorful spice powders all stacked up in careful pyramids, the leatherworkers proudly presenting their creations, the aroma of freshly baked bread, the blacksmith's hammer clanking rhythmically, the hustle and bustle of the people around them…

After a couple of candlemarks, Richard and Zedd walked through the tavern doors. They always took longer at the markets but Kahlan didn’t mind, it gave her the opportunity to spend some extra time alone with Cara, even if the woman was pretending to be annoyed by the men’s tardiness.

“I’m telling you, my boy, that woman wanted to swindle you. Who in their right mind would pay more than two gold pieces for a sharpening stone?” Zedd sat down next to Cara and saw that both women were trying, and failing, to hold back their laughs.

“Let me guess, you paid more attention to her dress than the price of her goods?” Cara teased him and everyone, including Richard himself, laughed.

They ordered dinner after that and once everyone was done, the laughter slowly turned into dissimulated yawns so they all decided that it was time to turn in for the night. They went to ask for the keys to their rooms but since the woman who had served their meal was busy taking away the dishes and mugs, she told them to go to the bar and ask for her husband – Guethenoc.

Kahlan walked in the direction of the bar and saw a man, around 30 summers, who was trying to fix a broken chair at the back of the bar. “Excuse me, sir…” She tried to get his attention when it was clear that the poor soul was struggling to even keep it standing. “Do you need some help?”

“No need, ma’am, thank you.” The man said over his shoulder as he quickly put the chair aside, letting it lean against the table next to him. He sighed as it slumped to the ground. “This is the last time we’re letting that bard sing in here. He always…” He started as he turned around but stopped abruptly when he saw Kahlan. “Mother Confessor…”

Kahlan saw his whole demeanor change. His body tensed and his eyes widened in fear before he brought his right arm in front of him, cradling it tightly. Kahlan’s stomach twisted with unease at the sight of his missing hand and suddenly, she remembered him, she remembered punishing him for stealing, back when she was ruling Aydindril with an iron fist. Guilt nagged her brain and despite the knot in her throat, she managed to say in an almost whisper, “I know you.” She reached out on instinct, like she would usually do to offer comfort but the man stumbled backward in panic. From the corner of her eye, she saw Cara taking a step closer but she stopped her with a discreet shake of her head, it was something she had to do alone. She raised her hands in a show of non-hostility. “I will not hurt you, so do not be afraid of me.” The man didn’t come closer but he locked eyes with her. “What are you doing so far from Aydindril?” Kahlan asked gently to try and make sense of the situation; it was strange to see him so far from the city.

“After your punishment, I couldn’t find any work back home so, once my wife felt better, we had to come here.” The man’s voice was strained and unsure but he kept on. “This is where my wife is from, her sister and husband agreed to help us so now my wife works as the cook’s helper and I try to help however I can,” Guethenoc said and gestured to the woman that had served them their dinner.

Kahlan nodded and took a deep breath. “I owe you an apology.” She saw the surprise on his face at her statement. “I hope you know this is not who… I wasn’t…” She didn’t even know what to say, that it wasn’t who she was, that magic had changed her for the worse? It wouldn’t make a difference to him; he had suffered at her hands and she refused to make excuses for that. “You were brought to me because you had stolen some stale bread from a baker to feed your wife while she was sick. You had committed a crime indeed, but my judgment was way too harsh…” The man stood speechless in front of her. Kahlan shook her head and bit her tongue, her apology wouldn’t serve for anything if she couldn’t find a way to truly help this man now. “May I fix it?” She asked and gestured to his right hand.

“I…” Guethenoc hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure if he could trust her.

Kahlan turned to look at Zedd and the wizard smiled encouragingly before giving her a nod, confirming that he could help. She felt a little better now, a little bit braver to try again and remedy her own wrongdoing. “Please, let me help you.” She spoke again with the same soft voice as before and the man finally gave in. He was still a little shaky and unsure but he let the wizard hold his arm.

As Zedd mumbled something that sounded like a string of random vowels to the rest, Guethenoc’s hand was restored as if it had never been cut away. Sudden joy invaded the man, he couldn’t stop touching his fingers and squeezing his fist.

“Thank you! Thank you so much, Mother Confessor,” Guethenoc exclaimed, still looking at his hand before daring a look at Kahlan. Whatever he saw in her eyes was enough to let a small smile appear on his face.

As if she could tell the moment was over, Cara stepped forward and threw a pouch of coins on the table next to the man, more than enough to cover the price of the rooms. “Could we get the keys to our rooms, now?” She glanced at Kahlan before adding. “Please.”

“Of course.” Guethenoc quickly gave them the keys and bid them goodnight.

The four of them made their way up the narrow stairs and headed to their rooms that were one in front of the other before parting for the night. Kahlan didn’t say a word as she got ready for bed, her mind was back in Aydindril and she couldn’t stop thinking about her earlier interaction with Guethenoc and all the wrong decisions she had made.

Kahlan could feel Cara’s eyes on her and she suspected the other woman knew what was bothering her but chose not to say anything until they had settled in bed. After lying down and snuggling in Cara’s arms, she let out a long, weary sigh.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cara offered, her voice gentler than Kahlan had ever heard it.

“Yes… and no…” Kahlan murmured her answer. She needed some time to think about it first, to make sense of her thoughts. She had been struggling with the weight of her actions since they left Aydindril but every time she thought it might get better, something reminded her that it wouldn’t be that simple.

Cara pulled her closer. “Things will go back to normal.”

“That’s what everyone keeps saying but…” Kahlan took a sharp intake of breath before she felt a gentle kiss being placed on top of her head. Holding her at night and having Cara’s arms sneak around her as they lay together was her favorite part of the day, every day.

“You will go back to Aydindril and you’ll make it all good again,” Cara assured her. “The people will forgive you. You’re Kahlan Amnell, if anyone can do it, it’s you.”

Kahlan closed her eyes and let Cara’s words settle like a balm on her heart. “I’m not even sure what normal is. It was my first time ruling over Aydindril since I was named Mother Confessor and look how it went...”

“You did some great things even though a part of you was missing,” Cara insisted. “But the reason why you’re a great leader isn’t because you follow century-old rules or because you lead with your heart, it’s because you know when to extend a hand and when to raise it. Your compassion together with your respect for the law is what makes you the leader that the people love.”

“Even if I’m not the person I used to be?” Kahlan sighed, drawing lazy circles on Cara’s stomach.

“The war changed us all.” Cara slightly shrugged a shoulder. “Whether you like it or not, that harsher side, the ruthless Mother Confessor is a part of you. She’s always going to be part of you and sometimes, especially on the battlefield, we are all very glad to see her make an appearance. But your good side is there as well. You can’t have one without the other, trust me, I’d know…”

Kahlan stayed silent for a moment, letting her mate’s statement sink in. Slowly, she started feeling like a part of her burden had been lifted. Cara was right, they were all different and they would keep changing but as long as she stayed true to her beliefs, she should be alright, especially if Cara was by her side. She tilted her head up and kissed her lover. It was the sweetest and gentlest kiss they had shared so far. “Had I known you were so sweet, I wouldn’t have waited to lose my inhibitions to go after you.”

“I’m not an easy woman,” The blonde declared, making them both laugh some more.

“Thank you, Cara.” Kahlan breathed out as their laughter subsided. “I wish this quest was over already so we could be on our way to Aydindril.” She added after a while. Even though she knew it was a bit selfish on her part, she couldn’t help it. Cara, on the other hand, didn’t seem to want to waste any more time talking and pulled her closer once more, reveling in the way their lips touched again.

A few months later

A letter from Richard found Kahlan sitting in the garden, enjoying her morning tea. A lot of things had happened after that night in Piryn, they had found the Stone of Tears, sealed the rift, and defeated the Keeper.

At first, they couldn’t believe they had all made it out alive. Their chances of success could have barely filled the tea cup of a night wisp but against all odds, they had done it. There were no more banelings plaguing the Earth, no more enemies brought back to life only to torture them, no more suffering and loss at the hands of their most ancient enemy.

It soon became apparent to Richard that with no team and no big quest to follow, he should think about D’Hara and his people, the ones he was supposed to rule and protect. His days as the Seeker might have finished but his days as a ruler had only just begun and since they hadn’t found another travel book yet, he and Kahlan made sure to keep in touch with each other at least once every couple of weeks. 

As Kahlan sat in the garden and read the letter from her friend, telling her in rich detail how delighted Zedd was with the persimmons she had sent their way last week, she couldn’t help but think of how they had all gotten to where they were now. How, in the beginning, she couldn’t believe that the crazy naked man in the forest, the one who was talking to a chicken, turned out to be the greatest wizard of all time. How Richard, a man she foolishly believed to be the love of her life turned out to be the brother she never had. She still laughed to herself every time she remembered Zedd turning young and marrying a wench from the nearest brothel or Richard trying to figure out how to fight with his sword without hacking away all the tree branches around him. And finally, how she had met Cara.

The first few months after her return to Aydindril had been hard. The first thing she had done was apologize publicly for her acts. She had told them about their traveling spell going wrong, something Zedd had confirmed in a clear show of support, but it wasn’t enough for Kahlan so she had insisted on owning up to her actions and fixing what could be fixed. She had already liberated many from the prisons and people were slowly beginning to look up to her again, to show their adoration for her. There was still a long way to go, many things to do, and a lot of laws to change but with Cara by her side, Kahlan could do anything.

Cara Mason, the woman she was never even meant to be friends with turned out to be the person without whom she couldn’t imagine her life without.

It had taken her a long time to come to terms with Cara playing a significant role in her sister’s death but Dennee came back to life, came back to her and it changed everything. At first, she had felt guilty for feeling the way she did about Cara but, with time, she had realized that her love for the blonde couldn’t be fought. They had all done many things they weren’t proud of, they had all done things they regrated, things that if they could they would do differently now but there was no way to turn back time and they had to learn how to live with it. And perhaps going back in time wasn’t an option either, even if it were possible, not if it would cost her current relationship with the blonde.

Kahlan finished her tea and took one more deep breath; she could feel the icy sting in the air as winter was fast approaching. Today was one of the few days she had all to herself so she wasn’t sure what to do next but as she heard footsteps coming from beside her and turned around to see Cara making her way to her, Kahlan’s smile appeared on its own and she felt the usual butterflies in her stomach flutter again.

No, even if she could, she wouldn’t change a thing because this moment right now, was perfect, absolutely perfect.

Kahlan and Cara were in bed, enjoying each other’s company after a long day. It had become their new routine now and it was Kahlan’s favorite part of the day. They had shared a bed several times before but it was different now that Cara was her mate. Nobody was trying to leave, to dominate, or even fight, they were both comfortable with their closeness, with their feelings.

The Mother Confessor was resting her back against the headboard, reading a book out loud as Cara listened, her head on Kahlan’s lap. They were too tired to play farkle so Kahlan had offered to read a book from her childhood. A particularly silly passage made Cara snort, forcing Kahlan to stop playing with the blonde’s hair to cover her mouth. “Hush, I like this part.”

Cara removed Kahlan’s hand as she chuckled. “Of course you do.”

Kahlan lowered the book to look at her. “Maybe you would like to take over?” She arched an eyebrow.

“I have another idea.” Cara grabbed the book and threw it to the side before rolling on top of Kahlan. “Hi.” She smiled softly.

“Hi,” Kahlan chuckled before smiling tenderly. She lifted her hand and caressed Cara’s cheek. “I care about this book; you could have put it on the bedside table.”

“But you care about me more so you should focus on me,” Cara smirked as her hands moved down Kahlan’s body.

Kahlan bit her lower lip. “Make me.”

“Gladly!” Cara winked at her before kissing her deeply.

“I love you…” Kahlan breathed out when they broke the kiss.

“I love you too,” Cara answered before kissing her way down her neck and toward her chest.

Kahlan moaned. The night was only beginning but she hoped that they would be many more like this one, tangled in Cara’s arms, happy and loved…

Chapter Text

A few months had passed and just as Kahlan thought she had finally salvaged most of the situation, a private audience with a noble made her realize that nothing would ever be enough to fix the pain she had inflicted on others while she was not fully herself.

Lord Reimond had come all the way to Aydindril to ask for reparation for his son’s confession and it was not going well. He wasn’t the first, of course, but there was something in his eyes as he looked at his son, something Kahlan wasn’t used to seeing in a nobleman - especially when it wasn’t their heir - heartache. It was a broken man standing in front of her, begging her to fix another broken man and Kahlan had nothing to offer them but apologies.

“Look at him!” Lord Reimond pointed at his son who was staring at Kahlan with admiration. “And tell me again how he is supposed to live his life as if nothing had happened when all he can think about is you, Mother Confessor.” He ran a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair.

Kahlan leaned back in her chair and moved her focus to the second man standing in front of her desk. He was taller than his father, with kind brown eyes and short black hair. She felt bad for not remembering his face or even why she had confessed him in the first place but it had happened a few times before and her answer was always the same. “I could order him to have a good life and find a nice wife, one he would treat well and…”

“It’s not enough!” Lord Reimond barked loudly.

The door of the office opened and Cara stepped inside with a deep frown on her face. “What is the matter here?”

“It’s nothing,” Kahlan was quick to reassure her mate. Cara must have been waiting outside for her to finish so they could have lunch but had decided to enter the room as soon as the lord raised his voice. “Lord Reimond is upset about his son’s condition.”

“My son is not sick, he’s confessed,” The lord corrected angrily. “Because of you! And now that his betrothed left him and he refuses to work, what am I supposed to do with him?”

“Lots of marriages are loveless,” Cara was the first to answer. “Find a woman who knows what a union with your son entails and it should be fine.”

The man scoffed. “I don’t expect a Mord’Sith to understand why love and respect matter in a marriage, but I love my wife and wish the same for my son.”

“I’d advise you to watch your words, Lord Reimond,” Kahlan warned. Cara knew what love was and even though her mate would rather fight a gar than admit it out loud, Kahlan wasn’t about to let anyone imply otherwise.

“Or what?” The man balled his fists. “Are you going to confess me as well? Or perhaps you’ll ask your Mord’Sith to drag me out of here so you can pretend everything is fine.”

“I’ve never said everything was fine,” Kahlan defended, trying to keep her voice even. She knew the man was hurting and she didn’t want to make things worse. “I am well aware of the atrocities I committed while I was not fully myself but ever since I came back, I’ve tried to fix whatever could be fixed.” She had asked wizards to heal whoever had lost a limb and sent financial compensation to those she had accused of crimes that should not be punished but some things could not be changed. “Sadly, nothing can be done when it comes to past confessions.”

Lord Reimond shook his head. “I’ll never forgive you for this, Mother Confessor, and I know I’m not the only one.” He grabbed his son’s arm and dragged him out of the room.

Kahlan exhaled and lowered her head to massage her temples. As the Mother Confessor, she had always been partly revered and partly feared but the disdain some people felt toward her nowadays was new and not always easy to handle.

“Are you alright?” Cara asked as she came closer.

“No…” Kahlan sighed.

“I could offer to put an end to the son’s misery if you’d like,” Cara said as she rested a hand on Kahlan’s shoulder.

“That’s not how you fix things.” Kahlan gave her mate a sad smile.

Cara pursed her lips. “Do I need to remind you that this was not your fault?”

“Maybe.” Kahlan shrugged. Every time she had doubted herself, Cara had been there to soothe her worries and she truly couldn’t imagine what she would have done without her.

The blonde forced Kahlan to stand so she could take her seat and then pulled her back on her lap. “You were not yourself.”

“I know.” Kahlan wrapped her arms around Cara’s neck. “But…”

“Not but,” Cara interrupted her. “You are working really hard to make the Midlands a better place, and if some people don’t like it, they are free to go. There are still tyrants out there if he wants to see what a bad realer truly is.”

Kahlan smiled and cupped her lover’s cheek. “You’re sweet.”

“I’m not.” Cara scoffed.

“You are.” Kahlan kissed her lips softly. “Thank you.”

The next day dawned with a weight that seemed to settle deeper into Kahlan's bones with each passing moment. With a tired sigh, she rose from her bed, her sleepless night had done nothing to ease the turmoil in her mind.

As she made her way through the familiar corridors of the palace, she couldn't help but notice the hushed glances of the staff members, the complete and utter submission of those she had confessed, their lives irrevocably altered since, and those who had remained untouched by her power, their gazes holding a mix of curiosity and caution, as if unsure what to make of the woman who held such immense power over them. There were also some new faces, the ones they had hired to replace those who had left once Kahlan had returned to her senses but even the new, unfamiliar eyes held a tinge of fear that flickered through every now and then when they saw her, probably wondering if and when Kahlan would turn on them as well.

Breakfast in her private dining room offered little solace. As soon as the servant brought the meals and put them on the table, Kahlan caught a glance of a burn mark on his left wrist. The sight transported her mind back in time, to the evening when she had held his hand above a candle and kept it there until he screamed, just because he had slipped the rest of a cake into his pocket. She felt a twisted feeling of shame and remorse flood her mind and heart.

“Thank you,” Kahlan said quietly, as if fearing speaking normally would frighten him. The new servants were usually the ones bringing them their food and she hadn’t seen the man in a while, or at least, not alone.

“You're welcome, Mother Confessor,” The man's response was curt, his movements tense as he avoided her gaze.

The silence that followed hung heavy in the air between them, fraught with the unspoken tension that lingered beneath the surface. Kahlan struggled to find the right words, wanting desperately to bridge the gap that had formed between them. “I hope... I hope you're doing well,” She ventured tentatively, her voice faltering slightly.

“I manage,” The man's jaw tightened, his expression hardening as he glanced briefly in her direction.

“Wait,” she called out softly before he could move further away, her voice barely above a whisper.

The man paused mid-step; his back still turned towards her as he hesitated for a moment before turning to face her once more. “Yes, Mother Confessor?” He replied, his tone guarded.

Kahlan took a deep breath, steeling herself for the conversation that she knew needed to take place. “I... I noticed...” She began, her words trailing off as she struggled to find the right way to phrase her thoughts. She had had this conversation many times in the past months, but it had never gotten easier. “Why did you stay?” She asked softly, her voice tinged with uncertainty. “If you... if you can't even look at me in the eyes, if being here... if it's too difficult for you...”

The servant balled his hands into fists as he also struggled to find the words to respond. “I... I need the coins,” He admitted finally, his voice barely a whisper.

Kahlan's heart ached at his confession, she had known, of course, that many of the palace staff remained out of necessity rather than choice, their livelihoods dependent upon the wages they earned. But to hear the truth spoken aloud only served to reinforce the magnitude of her own failings. “I understand,” She murmured. “And... and I'm sorry. Truly, I am.”

The young man's gaze softened slightly, a flicker of something akin to understanding crossing his features. “You're... you're kinder now,” He offered hesitantly, his words laced with tentative hope.

Kahlan felt a lump form in her throat, the weight of his forgiveness almost too much to bear. “Thank you,” She whispered, her voice barely a breath as she watched him retreat once more into the safety of the kitchens.

A sense of gratitude washed over Kahlan, mingled with a profound sense of shame for the pain she had caused him. Before she could dwell on it, however, the sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway, and when she glanced up, she saw Cara enter the room.

“Cara,” Kahlan greeted her with a faint smile, relieved by the distraction. It grew more genuine when Cara gave her a quick kiss. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Cara smirked. “How…”

“How was your early shift with the new recruits?” Kahlan asked quickly to avoid answering any questions about her mood this morning.

Cara blinked at the interruption. She stared at Kahlan for a short moment and seemed to notice the sadness in her eyes. She pursed her lips and sat down. “They have a lot of work ahead of them but I think these ones will make good additions to the palace´s security.” She replied as she began filling her plate. “The older guards seem to be adjusting well to the change of their routines and the new training.”

“Good.” Kahlan nodded in approval, her gaze lingering on Cara with a mixture of admiration and affection. “I'm not surprised,” She remarked offhandedly. "You've always had a way of earning their respect."

“Good threats do wonders on people’s motivation.” Cara smiled cheekily before grabbing one of the honey cakes and taking a big bite from it.

Kahlan snorted. “We both know that’s not the reason why they respect you.” She knew Cara had proved herself while staying at the palace as a princess and then as her guard, her somehow protectiveness toward the servants and the guards who had remained unconfessed had played a big factor in them not only accepting her as their new General but also respecting her as such.

After that, their conversation flowed more easily, albeit tinged with an underlying strain that neither dared to address. It was a delicate dance of words and topics, each carefully chosen to skirt around the unspoken matter that lingered between them.

Mid-afternoon, Kahlan entered the council chamber and instantly felt the way the atmosphere shifted around her. The air was now thick with unspoken tension as the council members regarded her with a mixture of wariness and apprehension.

“Mother Confessor,” One of them greeted stiffly, his tone betraying his discomfort.

Kahlan offered a polite nod in response, though her expression remained stoic. She could feel the weight of their scrutiny and could see the silent accusations in their eyes ever since she reinstated them but the council’s opinion of her was perhaps the one that bothered her the less because they had failed Aydindril first. They were the ones who had been tasked with defending the White City and yet, they had let a prince take the throne without much of a struggle. Kahlan had told them as much during their first official meeting and now they held a grudge against her but she did not regret it. It had been at that exact moment that she had realized her experience with the amulet had left its mark on her and not everything the other Kahlan had said or done was wrong.

The truth was, Kahlan had been thinking of changing some of the members of the council for a while now because they had gotten too accustomed to their positions and had forgotten why they were there in the first place, but it was a move that wouldn’t be viewed favorably at the moment so it had to wait.

Thankfully, the day neared its end but nightfall brought little respite from the turmoil plaguing her mind. Cara holding her close in their bed did help but it was not enough.

Kahlan knew Cara could tell that she was distracted, her mind clearly tortured by something but her mate held her tongue and didn’t try to pry further. Instead, Cara obliged eagerly when Kahlan whispered “Make me forget.” in her ear amid the kisses they shared.

The flickering candlelight cast dancing shadows across the chamber, illuminating the contours of their intertwined bodies in a soft, golden glow and reflecting each move they made. Cara's touch was gentle yet sure, a soothing balm to the wounds that still lingered beneath the surface. With each kiss pressed against her skin, Kahlan felt the echoes of her doubts and fears fade into the darkness, grounding herself in that moment and in the sensations that swirled under her skin as Cara kissed, licked, and gently bit certain spots on her body.

Kahlan found herself losing track of time, lost in the sensation of Cara's body pressed against hers, even her mind had stopped its incessant chatter and only pleasure guided her higher and higher until she couldn’t hold back anymore and screamed in ecstasy Cara´s name into the night while shakily holding on to her for dear life.

Despite the distractions and her busy schedule, the fate of the lord’s son and all the other confessed people around the palace kept haunting Kahlan. Was she supposed to spend the rest of her life surrounded by the reminder of her mistakes? She knew that, with time, most people would forget and move on but she couldn’t. She wanted to think about the future, she wanted to imagine a life with Cara, a union, and children, she wanted to build a durable peace between the Midlands and D’Hara but it felt impossible until she could set free the other victims of the amulet. The problem was, there was only one way for her to do that, and it was to die.

The thought shocked her at first but as the hours went by, she realized it was her only option. She needed to die and then come back to life so everyone could be free and respect her again. It might have been too risky moons ago due to the prophecy but Darken and the Keeper were no longer a threat so she could see no reason not to do it.

Kahlan had made up her mind but now, she had to share her plan with Cara.

Unfortunately, her last meeting of the day dragged on and Kahlan only saw her mate after dinner, when she joined Cara in their chambers.

“There you are.” Cara greeted her from the bed as she closed the book she was reading. “I was starting to think you were too busy to see me, Mother Confessor.”

“Did you miss me, Princess?” Kahlan replied with a teasing smile.

Cara snorted. “No, your cute maid kept me company, Lutessa, is it?”

“Letitia.” Kahlan corrected. Cara had been staying at the palace long enough now to know most of the servants’ names but her lover seemed to enjoy misnaming them to see if she cared enough to correct her. Their teasing was also a way to make peace with some of their past interactions that had been less than kind.

“Jealous?” Cara arched an eyebrow and smirked.

“No.” Kahlan tried to smile but it felt halfhearted, not because of Cara’s humor, but because back then, her jealousy had almost pushed her to confess that poor girl and it also reminded her of all the others who had not been so lucky.

“Then where is your wit?” Cara frowned.

Kahlan sighed. “There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.” She saw the way Cara’s shoulders tensed slightly and rushed to add. “It’s nothing bad.”

“What is it?” Cara patted the spot next to her.

With another tired sigh, Kahlan sat on her side of the bed. “I am tired of the palace being filled with people who are half alive. I want to free them all from confession.”

“How do you plan to do that exactly?” Cara asked cautiously.

“You’d have to kill me and then give me the breath of life,” Kahlan stated as nonchalantly as she could.

“Are you out of your mind?” Cara scowled. “In what world you dying is not bad?! Is this about what Lord-whatever-his-name-was said? Because…”

“It’s not just about him.” Kahlan interrupted her. “I’ve been struggling with this ever since we came back to Aydindril, perhaps even before.” She confessed. “But before, there was the prophecy, so I couldn’t take the risk, it isn’t an issue anymore.”

“I don’t care about the prophecy.” Cara snapped. “I care about you and I refuse to let you go through this.”

“It’s my life and ultimately, it is my choice,” Kahlan said calmly but firmly. She knew it was a difficult topic and snapping at each other would not help anyone. “If you care about me, you should respect that.”

“But I’d be the one bringing you back to life,” Cara pointed out. “What if it doesn’t work?”

“It will,” Kahlan assured her. She had faith in Cara and her skills, if her death was clean, there was no reason for the breath of life not to work.

The blonde shook her head. “There is no way to be sure, so if you truly care about me, please, don’t ask me to do this.”

“I do care. I love you, Cara, and that’s another reason why I want to do this.” She took Cara’s hands in hers. “I want to marry you, I want us to have children and grow old together but before we can do that, I need to set things right.”

“You…” Cara stared at Kahlan. “You want to marry me?” She asked, clearly struggling with her own emotions. “And have children… with me?”

“I do.” Kahlan smiled softly. It wasn’t exactly how she had planned to have this conversation but at least now Cara knew what she wanted their future to be like. “If you want to, that is…”

“I’d rather not have any of that than lose you forever.” Cara’s face turned somber as she pulled her hands away from Kahlan’s. “If it’s too hard for you to see all the confessed servants and guards, send them away with a hefty bag of coins and hire other people.”

“I can’t,” Kahlan said with a sad smile.

“And I can’t hurt you, so I guess we are at a standstill.” Cara hopped out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Kahlan frowned.

“I need some time to think,” Cara answered, grabbing her agiels before leaving the room.

Kahlan heaved a sigh; she guessed it could have been worse…

As the days wore on, the tension between Kahlan and Cara grew palpable, a heavy fog settling over their once harmonious relationship. Every word spoken between them seemed tinged with a layer of frost, their interactions strained and stilted as they navigated the jagged edges of their fractured connection.

The distance between Kahlan and Cara grew with each passing moment and although they shared the same bed, the space between them felt so insurmountable that they might as well have been in different parts of the palace altogether.

Kahlan threw herself into her duties with a fervor born of desperation, seeking solace in the familiar routines.

During one of her meetings with her advisors, she realized that they were just nodding along with her every suggestion, not even bothering to think if what she was saying had any sense, much less if it was actually good for the city. Their bodies were slumped on the chairs and some looked as if they couldn’t wait for her to finish speaking and call an end to the meeting. It was the final straw for Kahlan, the weight of their compliance crushing down on her like a leaden cloak. With a sharp inhale, she rose abruptly from her seat, her voice echoing through the chamber as she snapped at them, her frustration boiling over.

“I can't do this anymore!" She declared, her words ringing out in the stunned silence that followed. And with that, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, her footsteps echoing through the empty corridors as she fled from the suffocating confines of the palace.

She found herself on a terrace, the one she had found Cara on all these moons ago when Richard and Zedd had just left the palace and Kahlan was worried the blonde already regrated her decision to stay behind with her. The cool evening air was a balm to her frayed nerves as she collapsed onto one of the stone benches, her breath coming in ragged gasps as tears welled in her eyes.

Kahlan didn’t know how long she stayed there, silently crying as she stared into the void but at some point, she heard footsteps approaching from behind. There was only one person who would dare come that close to her, especially at that time of the day, Cara.

The blonde didn't say anything at first, she simply sat beside Kahlan in comfortable silence as they watched the stars shimmering over their heads.

“Is this about the Lord’s son and the others?” Cara's voice broke the stillness, her words hesitant as she glanced at Kahlan, concern etched in the furrow of her brow.

Kahlan sniffled. “What else could it be…” She replied, her voice raw with emotion. “I can't go on like this, Cara. it's eating me alive.”

Cara's expression softened, her hand reaching out to brush a stray tear from Kahlan's cheek. “Then if that's what you truly want,” She began, her voice steady despite the tremor in her heart, “I'll do it. But if you don't come back to me, I'll burn this whole place down, kill everyone inside and then myself.”

Kahlan couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation, the tension draining from her shoulders as she met Cara's gaze with a mixture of fondness and disbelief. "Let's get married first…” She blurted out quickly, leaving Cara too stunned to speak at first. “Just in case,” She added, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Just a little ceremony, so we can have a bigger one later.”

“Are you sure?” Cara's brow furrowed, her eyes searching Kahlan's face to see if she was serious. “Isn't it too soon?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “I mean, I’m a M…”

But Kahlan shook her head, her resolve unwavering, “I'm sure,” She replied, her voice filled with certainty.

There was a long pause. “Okay,” Cara agreed. Her voice sounded a bit strained, but there was an almost imperceptible smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Okay?” Kahlan could see many things in Cara’s eyes, especially worry, so she wanted to make sure her mate truly wanted this.

“Yes,” Cara smiled this time, her eyes sparkling. “If you insist."

Kahlan chuckled. “I do.” She took a deep breath, the smell of pine filling her lungs. Feeling lighter, she leaned in to press a tender kiss to Cara's lips.

Kahlan and Cara arrived at the Minders village around mid-afternoon, in the regular clothes that they had changed into so they would draw attention. They nodded and smiled at the familiar faces until they reached the village square where Roga greeted them.

“Mother Confessor, Cara.” The leader smiled kindly.

“Roga.” Cara inclined her head slightly in greeting.

“Just call me Kahlan today, please.” Kahlan had contacted the woman a moon ago or so, to ask if she would be willing to bless their union in a private ceremony, and Roga had been more than happy to offer her services. For a while, Kahlan had wondered who they could trust with this since they had lost many friends during the war and more recently, allies, to ill-thought-out confessions. After a joke from Cara, Kahlan had remembered a comment the leader of the Minders had made during their last visit, something about officiating her first wedding in a long time, so it had made sense to ask.

“I see you reconnected with your true self; I’m pleased,” Roga stated, her smile never leaving her face.

“I did,” Kahlan glanced at her mate. “Thanks to Cara.”

“And Zedd’s magic.” Cara reminded her.

“The hardships you’ve been through made you a better person,” Roga touched Kahlan’s hand. “And it surprisingly led you to love as well.” She sent Cara a teasing look.

Cara rolled her eyes. “Keep the speeches for the ceremony, woman.”

The leader laughed. “Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait much longer. Everything is set, we were just waiting for you.”

“I hope you kept things simple.” Cara gave her a pointed look.

“We did, as it is our tradition. Now…” The leader waved Veta closer. “Why don’t you follow Veta to her house so you can change, I’ll help your mate get ready.” She motioned for two men to come and take care of the horses.

Kahlan let go of the reins and reached out to take Cara’s hand. “Behave.” She said with a playful smile.

“I make no promises.” Cara snorted. “Don’t drink any tea that woman gives you, just in case.” She whispered.

The raven-haired woman laughed. “I won’t offend our host but I’ll be careful.” She kissed Cara’s cheek. “See you soon.”

Kahlan followed Roga to her house and went to the bedroom to change into her wedding dress. It had not been easy to find a dress for the occasion. Going to a shop would have raised questions and asking her official seamstress would have revealed their plan so Kahlan had spent a lot of time searching the wardrobes in the palace to find an outfit that could fit.

She looked at her reflection, she was wearing a long A-line, white dress with lengthy bell sleeves that split at the elbow and left the rest of her arms free as the excess material descended all the way down to her feet. Whoever had worn that dress before was probably shorter than Kahlan since there was still a barely visible line that indicated the bottom of the dress had been dragged through a middy terrain or, at the very least, through a couple of puddles. The dress left Kahlan’s shoulders bare and the bodice hugged her figure nicely, accentuating gently the curves of her breast. Satisfied with her look, Kahlan exited the bedroom.

“Kahlan, you look lovely.” Roga complimented. “I’m sure Cara will agree with me.”

“Thank you.” Kahlan smiled but it quickly turned rueful. “I hope you’re right because… I’m aware Cara is only indulging me today.” She knew she hadn’t given her mate a lot of time to process everything and Cara was more worried about losing her than celebrating their love but it was important to her.

“I saw the way that woman looks at you, she loves you. No matter why you proposed initially, Cara is here because she wants to.” Roga stated.

Kahlan nodded. “You did keep things simple, right?”

“Yes, I am aware that your mate is not the patient type so I removed the candle lighting ritual. Besides, it is supposed to symbolize the purity of your life and your virtue. Since I don’t imagine you sleep in different beds, it is best to ignore that part.”

“I…” Kahlan blushed bright red.

Roga chuckled. “There is nothing wrong with that, child, a mate should bring you happiness in every aspect of your relationship. Your desire for each other is something that should be embraced. I have a special concoction that could…”

“It’s fine,” Kahlan cut her off quickly as her cheeks reddened even more. “Thank you.” She cleared her throat. “We should start the ceremony.”

Kahlan reached the edge of the forest and what she saw took her breath away.

A tall wooden arch, decorated elegantly with flowers of different sizes and shapes, stood proudly at the end of the trail. The sweet fragrance of larkspurs, violets, and lilies of the valley mixed with pine carried through the air and filled her lungs with each breath she took. The tall trees surrounding them provided a partial shade from the sun right above their heads and there were only a few benches on each side of the arch where the villagers were sitting, looking at her. Various cardinals and finches flew around making their way to their nests and a bluejay squeaked in the distance. They rarely had time to enjoy the nature around them but this moment of stillness was surely one Kahlan would remember for a long time to come.

Cara was standing in front of the flower arch, dressed simply yet elegantly in a crimson doublet with golden rims and black leather laces that held the front together. There were also leaves patterns in a lighter color on the fabric and the blonde was wearing black pants to finish the look. It made her look effortlessly beautiful.

Roga left Kahlan’s side to place herself under the arch while Kahlan waited for the leader to nod before walking down the flower aisle, her eyes never leaving Cara’s.

“You are beautiful,” Cara murmured when Kahlan joined her.

“So are you.” Kahlan smiled softly.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the coming together in love of these two women, with the Creator and nature as witness.” Roga began. “Creator, love has been your greatest gift to the world and today, we celebrate that love. May your blessing be on this wedding ceremony. Protect, guide, and bless these brides in their marriage. Surround them and us with your love, now and always.” She turned to the blonde. “Cara, will you have Kahlan to be your wife, to respect and love her with the promise of faithfulness, tenderness, and helpfulness, as long as you both shall live?”

“I will.” Cara nodded.

“Kahlan, will you have Cara to be your wife, to respect and love her with the promise of faithfulness, tenderness, and helpfulness, as long as you both shall live?” Roga continued.

“I will.” Kahlan smiled, fighting back the tears of joy gathering in her eyes.

Roga motioned for Veta to come closer with the matching leather bracelets. They were thin, and black, with leaf patterns carved on them and the word ‘union’ written in runes. She took them in her hands and closed her eyes. “Creator, we ask for your blessing on these bracelets that the brides are about to exchange. May they forever remind them of the vows they have pledged to one another today.” She opened her eyes again. “Cara, take this bracelet and place it on Kahlan’s wrist, and as you do, repeat to her, after me, these words: I give you this bracelet, as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, and with it, I marry you, and join my life with yours.”

Cara took the bracelet and slid it on Kahlan’s wrist as she repeated the words. Then, it was Kahlan’s turn to place the bracelet around Cara’s wrist as she repeated the same words.

“Now, the crowns.” Roga nodded at Veta and the woman moved behind Cara and Kahlan with two flower crowns, symbols of the union about to be forged. The first crown, crafted from green-seeded eucalyptus, elongated leaves, and delicate seed pods formed a delicate yet strong structure for the white garden spirit rose nestled securely in the center. Surrounding it were the white Limonium flowers, their delicate blooms a reminder of the fragility and beauty of love's tender embrace.

In contrast, the second crown, fashioned from ruscus leaves, boasted a more robust and earthy structure. The Flammentanz roses, with their fiery red petals, represented the flames of love within the hearts of the betrothed and were intertwined amidst the leaves and other roses. Together, these two crowns formed a harmonious union, much like the couple about to exchange vows. Each of the flowers picked for their crowns bridged the gap between their characters and represented the unity and continuity of their love story filled with endless possibilities.

Once the white crown was above Kahlan’s head and the red one above Cara’s, Roga spoke again. “Please hold each other’s right hand.”

Kahlan reached out to take Cara’s hand.

“Creator, bless this union, may they be joined forevermore as one mind, one heart, one spirit,” Roga said.

Veta switched the flower crowns so the red one was above Kahlan’s head and the white one above Cara’s.

“Creator, grant this couple a lifetime of mutual love and understanding. May their love and care for one another be always in the foreground of their thoughts, granting them health, happiness, and peace.” Roga touched the crowns and slowly placed them on the brides’ head. “I now pronounce you wife and wife. What the Creator has joined together, let man not separate. You may kiss your bride.” She gave them a kind smile and an encouraging nod.

Cara pulled Kahlan closer with their linked hand and kissed her lovingly as the audience cheered.

“I love you.” Kahlan breathed out as she drew away.

“I love you too.”

As the sun began its descent, casting a warm golden glow over the land, Kahlan and Cara found themselves bathed in the dappled light filtering through the numerous dark clouds that had appeared. The air was brimming with energy, the occasional lightning cracking in the distance made the air itself feel charged and damp, providing a glimpse of the imminent storm that awaited them.

The day Cara had been dreading was sadly here but she was as ready as she could be. She had spent the previous weeks meticulously planning for every eventuality. She had gathered potions, of different colors and purposes, from strengthening the body to restoring energy, not that they would be very useful on a corpse but still Cara had it covered. She had also made sure to reunite as many spell scrolls as she could find, ensuring that no stone would be left unturned in their quest to set things right. Cara´s mind was racing with a thousand ‘what ifs’, yet, beneath her steely resolve laid a hint of apprehension, a nagging fear that threatened to unravel her carefully laid plans.

Cara took one deep breath and steeled herself for what lay ahead. With a determined set to her jaw, she reached for Kahlan's dagger, it wasn’t the first time she had held the blade in her hands but this time, it felt as if it weighed more than her own horse. Cara secured it carefully in its holster as she took one last glance around to make sure everything was ready and more importantly to go over the plan for the thousandth time before her resolve wavered again.

She lay down on the floor next to Kahlan and leaned in to kiss her. There was a tremor in her touch, a silent acknowledgment of what she was about to do as she angled the point of the blade glinting in the fading light under Kahlan´s left breast. Beneath the façade of calm determination, a shadow of doubt was lurking, a fear that she dared not voice aloud at this moment and yet, it had been torturing her ever since they first discussed this whole thing.

Her heart was pounding in her chest and the air in her lungs felt heavy and stifling at the same time. As the kiss deepened, Cara pressed the dagger to Kahlan's chest, the sharp point piercing her skin and her crimson blood began flowing down the blade and soaking the ground between them. Cara's breath caught in her throat, a wave of panic threatening to overwhelm her but she waited, her fist clenched in a ball, she waited for the right moment to give Kahlan the breath of life. Silver strings danced in the air, traveling from Cara´s lips to Kahlan´s until they slipped inside her mouth, and then… then nothing happened.

A small droplet of sweat appeared on the side of Cara´s forehead as she desperately tried to stop the bleeding with one hand and slip one of the potions past Kahlan´s lips with the other. And yet, once again, nothing seemed to change. Kahlan lay still, her chest unmoving.

“No, no, no, you can’t do this to me,” Cara said angrily as she frantically grabbed the pile of scrolls, looking for the Scroll of Revivify that she had obtained from a dark wizard. She had been told it was a rare thing and it had been hard to find the man who had it in his possession but Cara did, and after a fight where she had almost lost her life, she had brought it home. She had not told Kahlan anything about this, because she knew her wife would not approve of her taking such a risk but Cara didn’t care, she would sell her soul to the Keeper if it meant keeping Kahlan alive. “Here.” She took the stroll and read the spell out loud, hoping its magic would work even if she was no sorceress. Perhaps they should have asked Zedd’s help or blackmailed Nicci for hers… No, she could do this. She watched Kahlan carefully to see if she was breathing and thankfully, she was, even though it was barely detectable.

Her joy was short-lived however because Kahlan’s heartbeat stopped soon after. “This is useless.” She threw the scroll to the side.

Panic gripped Cara's heart as she struggled to keep her composure, her hands shaking as she took one deep breath again and leaned in closer to Kahlan´s lips. The blonde concentrated and willed her mind to focus on the woman in front of her, hundreds of memories appeared in her head, from the time she had first seen Kahlan to their first kiss, to their first time together, to their last kiss before Cara stabbed her with her dagger… As the memories intertwined in her mind, Cara closed her eyes and once again silver strings connected their lips, only this time, the blonde accompanied it with a kiss.

Without missing a beat, Cara put one hand on top of the other and began pushing vigorously on Kahlan´s chest, she had read about that technique in one of the regular scrolls, and given that she had tried everything else, this was her last hope, so she kept pushing against Kahlan´s ribs, ten, eleven, twelve times… as precious seconds stretched into agonizing minutes, doubt crept into Cara´s mind.

Kahlan suddenly gasped for air as she sat up halfway, her heart beating wildly in her chest as color returned to her cheeks. “Cara…”

Relief washed over Cara like a tidal wave as she cradled Kahlan in her arms. “You came back to me,” She whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

“Of course,” Kahlan replied, her eyes sparkling with laughter. "We have a big wedding to plan."

“You’re ridiculous.” The blonde cupped Kahlan’s face. “I hate you for this.”

“No, you don’t.” Kahlan chuckled tiredly.

“No, I don’t.” Cara let out a laugh of relief and soon, Kahlan joined in as they both held on to each other tightly.

It had been a month since Kahlan died and came back to life and she could definitely see the changes around her.

After everyone had been released from confession, Kahlan had apologized to them and although she hadn’t expected their forgiveness, some of them had offered it to her anyway. Others had decided to leave, replaced by new workers who did not fear her.

The way people were looking at her was slowly changing for the better and with a bit more patience, Kahlan believed she could earn the respect of the citizens of Aydindril again. 

The news spread throughout the Midlands and soon after, Dennee surprised them with her visit. The woman was not happy that Kahlan had taken such a risk but she was glad that everything turned out alright.

Kahlan, Cara, and Dennee were now having dinner in the private dining room, watching in amusement as Dennee’s adoptive son played with Kahlan’s leather bracelet. The boy was sitting on the Mother Confessor’s lap, making it hard for her to eat.

“I can take him if you’d like.” Dennee offered.

“No, it’s fine.” Kahlan shook her head; she rarely had the opportunity to spend time with her nephew so she didn’t mind the distraction.

“Is this a new bracelet?” Dennee asked. “A gift from Cara perhaps? Leather seems to be her thing.”

“Not exactly,” Kahlan said, ignoring Cara’s snort.

“What is it then?” Dennee leaned forward to have a better look at it.

Kahlan exchanged a look with Cara, silently asking her if it was alright to reveal the truth. The blonde shrugged and reached for her glass of wine. As she did, her sleeve pulled back, revealing her own bracelet.

Dennee noticed and frowned. “Wait, do you have one as well?”

“Yes,” Kahlan answered before taking a deep breath. “We… got married.” She exhaled; it was good to finally say it out loud. She loved being Cara’s wife and it was getting harder and harder not to address her as such when they were in public.

“What?” Dennee said loudly. The boy jumped in surprise and started fussing. She stood up and took him in her arms to calm him. “Sorry, baby.” She sat back and stared at her sister expectantly. “Care to explain why your own sister was not invited?”

“It was a secret ceremony, nobody was invited,” Kahlan rushed to explain when she saw the hurt in her sister’s eyes. “We wanted to bless our love, just in case…”

“In case of what?” Dennee barely held back from snapping as she pulled her son closer.

“I was not able to bring her back to life.” Cara was the one to reply.

Dennee looked at the blonde and then sighed loudly, rubbing her forehead with her free hand. She turned back to her sister. “I suppose this was your idea.”

“It was,” Kahlan confirmed. “But don’t worry, we’ll have another ceremony soon and you will all be invited.”

“Is there something else I should know?” Dennee glanced between the two. “Fair warning, if you tell me that you are with child after using some magic potion, I might lose my mind.”

Kahlan looked at her nephew, it was still a conversation she needed to have with Cara but after what she had put her through lately, she thought it could wait a bit longer.

“No…” Dennee gasped.

“No, I’m not with child.” Kahlan reassured her quickly. “Not yet.” She added as she glanced at her wife.

“Alright…” Dennee nodded to herself before taking a gulp of her wine.

Later at night, as Kahlan and Cara were settling in bed, Kahlan couldn’t help but replay the conversation they had had earlier. The lack of reaction from her mate had made her question if Cara really wanted children or not. As much as she wanted to wait before discussing the topic, she could still remember the first time she had mentioned it and the way Cara had avoided answering. Granted, they were talking about her dying back then but still, what was she supposed to do if Cara didn’t want to have children with her? She would understand, of course, but…

“Well, I did not miss the tense dinners with your sister,” Cara stated with a sigh as she lay on her back.

“She’s nicer to you at least,” Kahlan replied, absentmindedly.

“She still hasn’t learned to mind her own business.” Cara shook her head.

“Mhh…” Kahlan hummed.

Cara frowned and rolled on her side to look at her mate. “Alright, what is going on?”

“What do you mean?” Kahlan mirrored her wife’s position.

“You would usually have a lot to say about this but right now, you’re quiet.” Cara pointed out. “Did she say something to you while I was on my round?”

“No.” Kahlan hadn’t seen her sister after dinner since Dennee needed to put her son to bed. They could have met afterward but Kahlan had an inkling that she needed a moment to process the news.

“Then what is it?” Cara asked.

Kahlan heaved a sigh. “Why didn’t you say anything when Dennee assumed I was with child?”

“I saw no reason to,” Cara answered. “Unless you’ve been unfaithful…”

“I would never!” Kahlan exclaimed.

“Then there was no chance for you to be with child, and having a conversation about it with your sister would have been pointless.”

“What about having this conversation with me?” Kahlan questioned.

“Kahlan…” Cara sighed.

“I just…” Kahlan pursed her lips; she couldn’t back down now. “When I brought it up last time, you didn’t answer, so I’d like to know if having children with me is something you would consider.”

Cara pulled away and sat up. “I am aware of your duties.”

“I am not asking as the Mother Confessor, I am asking as your wife.” Kahlan could tell Cara needed space to think so she didn’t try to touch her.

“Well, you should know that your wife is a Mord’Sith.” Cara reminded her, once again avoiding the question.

“You’re not just a Mord’Sith. When I was not myself, you protected those two siblings who ended up in jail.” Kahlan was still very much ashamed of that and she didn’t think she would ever forgive herself fully for what she had done under the influence of the broken amulet. “Even if you pretend otherwise, there is a lot of kindness and love within you and I think you would make a great mother.”

“Helping children and raising them are two different things,” Cara stated.

“I know that, but you wouldn’t be alone.” Kahlan tried to reassure her mate.

“I don’t know, Kahlan…”

Kahlan didn’t like how tense Cara was so, this time, she didn’t hesitate to take her wife’s hand and pull her closer so they could lie next to each other. “I am not saying we have to do it now; I just want to know if that’s something you would consider in the future.”

Cara stayed silent for a long moment. “I am not averse to the idea, but I’m not ready yet.”

“It’s alright, we can wait.” Kahlan gave her a soft smile, they still had time and a second ceremony to plan so she could be patient. “I love you.” She caressed Cara’s cheek.

“I love you too.” Cara leaned closer and captured Kahlan’s lips in a kiss full of promises.