Chapter Text
chapter one ✨
i woke up and did my hair like glam david sylvian. he is such an inspiration. i put on my £3500 red leather jacket (like the one from the quiet life cover) and went to the kitchen where i saw my mom.
‘yn, you spent all our money on that stupid fucking red jacket. i have no choice but to sell you. your new owners are outside. pack your bags bitch’
i went to my room and decided what to pack. i was so scared. i put some wide leg trousers, oversized blazers and a few andy warhol graphic tshirts in my bag. i didnt have time to pack anything else so i kissed my picture of david sylvian goodbye one last time and went outside.
‘hello dahling!’
I COULDNT BELIEVE IT! IN THE HALLWAY STOOD ALL OF FAMED 80S BAND JAPAN. they smelled like mothballs and porridge; especially david sylvian. micks eyes were scarier in person.
‘i believe youre ours now sweetheart 🌸 ’ said david.
‘yeah ig’ i replied
‘my name is david. if you call me dave i will sell you to duran duran. this is my band japan. we have mick, such a talented bassist its a shame hes such a whore’
mick rolled his eyes. i could see a bit of eyebrow stubble growing above them.
‘this is rob, nobody really cares about him. this is my brother in law, richard and heres my brother, steve. nobody really wanted him here but mummy made me bring him along’
steve looked miserable.
‘i didnt actually know that…’
‘shut up steve, ugh 🌸 ’
we walked down to the car. it was a small green piece of shit from the seventies
‘heres my beloved automobile, her name is brenda’ david remarked.
he got in the drivers seat. i started to fear for my life. i suspect the rest of the band felt the same.
david smoked as he sped the whole way to the house. nobody spoke so i got to listen to the casette david had on. it was white noise with occasional boomwhacker sounds.
‘so what are you guys going to do with me now that you own me?’
david looked over to me
‘well, i dont quite know yet. i suppose youll make me porridge and take photographs for me and AAGH—‘
the car suddenly swerved, there were roughly five cars all honking at once. david rolled down the window, shoving his head out.
‘COULDNT YOU TELL IM GOING LEFT YOU BASTARD HOW DARE YOU DONT YOU KNOW WHO MY HUSBAND IS!!!’
i looked around at the others in the car. they were unphased. apparently this is normal behaviour for him.
‘STOP YOUR HONKING THE SOUND IS SO MAINSTREAM UGH’
mick finally spoke ‘shut up drama queen’
david ignored him as he turned to me ‘yn, be a dear and take a couple of panoramics for me. the landscape here is so inspiring 🌸 ’ passing me a camera with his signature bimbo smile.
*** *** ***
after a long, chaotic, car journey we made it back to the japan house. it was a brutalist monstrosity and the interior design was questionable at best. steve lead me to my ‘quarters’(a room with a twin sized bed that im assuming was usually used for storage) and the band gave me time to unpack while they practised. given that i only had ten minutes to pack in the first place, i had plenty of time before they would need me again so i decided to snoop around.
the first thing i noticed was the shitty sculptures all over the house. since japan are my favourite band and i know so much about the members, i guessed that was micks doing. there were large abstract expressionist pieces on every wall. all of them were really ugly though. david and mick were bickering about modern art in the car so id say one of the two bought them.
i found micks sculpting studio first. the few sculptures i could understand were freaking me out so i ran out of there. i found approximately three rooms that stank of mothballs and were filled with clothes. in the bathroom i decided to snoop through the medicine cabinet, which was packed full of different medications, all for treating worms. the only thing in the shower was a bottle of flea removal dog shampoo.
after that, i finally found davids bedroom. he had a massive bed in the centre of the room. on his bedside table was a photo of ryuichi sakomoto, a bottle of lube and a pink landline. i cant tell you what i found in the drawer.
suddenly, the ensuite door burst open and i could see a very distraught david sylvian moping at the door. his eye makeup was running down his face and he wore a pink robe with fur trimming.
‘yn! i see youve found my private boudoir! i am terribly sorry you must see me in this state… i am facing great emotional turmoil right now…’
oh no! i had no idea what could have caused this but from what id seen already it was probably just a minor inconvenience.
‘what happened david?’
he made his way over to the bed before crumpling onto it and sniffling pathetically into a pillow.
‘you see yn, *sniff* my darling ryuichi-‘
he chokes back a sob. IS RYUICHI SAKAMOTO DEAD i wondered.
‘HE WONT RETURN MY CALLS’ david loses it again, flopping onto his egyptian cotton sheets with the back of his hand against his forehead.
‘its clear he no longer loves me!! whatever shall i do!!’
i walk over to the bed and pat him on the head. hes so stupid and pathetic its incredible.
‘there there’
david sniffs again before speaking.
‘thank you dearie, would you be so kind as to fetch me my cigarettes? im in no state to walk right now 🌸 ’
davids whimpering continues as i walk over to his dressing table, where his cigarette box was left. its covered in clinique makeup. when i turn to walk back, the sound of davids sobs is broken by a loud ring from the landline. he immediately pounces across the bed.
‘hello?? OH RYUICHI MY LOVE HELLO!! oh did i wake you- im terribly sorry…’
as the conversation continues he moves to lie on his stomach, kicking his legs behind him and twirling a finger on his spare hand in his hair like a teenage girl in a romcom. i drop the box of cannibalism beside him and let him have some alone time.