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Kitty woke up the morning of the wedding to a slightly threatening text from Unique.
Unique:
I am expecting a run down of all of the events, including detailed descriptions of the fashion, especially the wedding gowns. And video if possible.
Unique:
And btw, they better be sent real time, and sent to all of us.
Jake:
You don't have to send me anything, I don't actually care.
Unique:
Especially Jake. He cares.
Crap. A group text. It's a barn in the middle of nowhere, this was gonna kill her battery.
Kitty:
Chill, it's a lesbian wedding in a barn in Indiana. How interesting could it really be?
Unique:
Girl please. If it were any other two women, I might agree with you, but it's Brittany and Santana, it's glee club and McKinley, something is gonna go down and I wanna know. I'm making popcorn as we speak.
Marley:
Is it a lesbian wedding if Brittany is bisexual?
Kitty:
How the hell would I know? And Unique, I'll give you that, it's Glee Club. And Tina's coming, so there will be some act of desperation, I'll keep you posted.
Kitty didn't really send anything on the drive to the wedding. She's trying not to be too much of a resentful bitch when it comes to the Glee newbies, so instead of riding with Artie, Tina and Mike, she agreed to ride with Spencer and the twins. And Kitty is glad that Spencer offered to drive, because of she'd had to drive with the creeper twins in the back playing "I Spy" and singing along to EVERYTHING, she would have driven them into a wall. Kitty sends one text from the car, and that took restraint.
Kitty:
Remember that road trip we took to Cedar Falls and Ryder and Jake kept playing that license plate game and I threatened to drive us into a wall?
Ryder:
That was fun, we should do it again sometime.
Kitty:
It was fun once we got there, but I'm never taking another road trip again. If I survive this one. I may jump out of the car and into traffic.
Marley:
It can't be that bad. At least Ryder and Jake aren't punching each other.
Kitty:
I'd actually prefer that to this.
Kitty puts her phone down and turns to the back seat, "I spy with my little eye a set of twins who need to shut the hell up!"
She doesn't text again until they reach the barn. She sends them a running list of all the familiar faces that show up, as well as a few pictures. She sends one to the group when she notices Kurt and Blaine holding hands.
Kitty:
Okay, I don't know what happened in the last 24 hours. Looks like Kurt dumped his Sugar Daddy and Blaine ditched his rebound because they're back together. I am not helping Blaine propose again.
Unique:
My babies! They can't stay away from each other!
Marley:
I bet Blaine is so happy.
Jake:
I give it fifteen minutes before he's proposing again.
Ryder:
They should just elope already.
Kitty:
I just met Brittany's Mom and Dad. Guys, her Dad is Asian. And dumb as a bowl of hair. And her Mom is an actual giant. Suddenly everything makes sense.
Ten minutes later:
Kitty:
I JUST MET BLAINE'S MOM. She's hot and she calls him Blainey and if you didn't think he could be more Blaine like, you should see him with his Mom. I understand everything about him now. Total Mama's boy.
Jake:
I knew his Mom would be hot.
Ryder:
How could she not be? Look at him.
Jake:
You are so gay for Blaine. I knew it.
Unique:
Everyone is gay for Blaine.
Marley:
He is pretty dreamy.
Kitty:
Okay, enough. I'm gonna barf. Anyway, it's starting. I'll talk to you guys later.
Kitty watched as the Bridesmaids walked down the aisle with a smile. She's not the type to cry at weddings, but she wasn't particularly surprised to see people already reaching for tissues. She was more on the lookout for Sue, knowing her, she had plans in place to ruin the whole thing. Sue was a ticking time bomb and not above using an actual bomb, but Kitty hoped she was wrong.
When she sees Kurt walking Brittany down the aisle, she knows something is up. Gone are their original suits, the ones they were supposed to be wearing when they walked the brides down the aisle, and in their place are new tuxedos. It was so obvious what was happening.
Kitty:
Guys...
Kitty:
I think this is a double wedding.
Kitty:
As in I think Kurt and Blaine are getting married right now.
Marley:
No way?
Jake:
Of course they are.
Unique:
No way. Those two wouldn't get married without their own lavish wedding.
Ryder:
I'm with Unique. Blaine is way too much of a control freak.
Kitty:
No. This is really happening. They are standing up there with Santana and Brittany.
Unique:
Yaaas lawd!
Marley:
Oh my god! They're so young!
Jake:
You guys can't be surprised. Blaine was dead set on getting married, you would think he knocked him up or something.
Unique:
Do I have to even say it? Heffa, if you don’t stop texting us and start recording this, I will walk to Indiana myself and give you a mullet while you sleep.
Marley:
What Unique said! Video, please!
Jake:
Like Artie’s not gonna edit it and add music and put the whole thing on Vimeo by the end of the night.
Ryder:
I’m waiting for Artie’s movie version.
Kitty turns to record the vows, sending the video off, hoping that service in the barn would be decent enough to send it now. She didn’t want to deal with the fury she’d get from Unique and Marley if she made them wait until she got home to see the video.
Unique:
That was gorgeous, I just got my whole life.
Marley:
How romantic!
Ryder:
I’m not crying, you’re crying.
Jake:
You’re totally crying.
Kitty’s battery is barely hanging on, but she makes sure to send video of the Mom’s performing with the Troubletones.
Ryder:
Yup, Blaine’s Mom is hot.
Unique:
What does his Daddy look like, because damn that is a gorgeous family. Do we know if the brother is still single?
Marley:
THERE’S A BROTHER?
In the end, Kitty saves the very last bit of her battery to make sure Kurt and Blaine get the video messages everyone sent her to show them.
Unique, clearly in her dorm room, glares into the camera before smiling, “I get the feeling from Kitty that this was not planned, which is why I’m not reading you the riot act for not inviting me. Congratulations to you guys, you really give a girl like me hope. And next time we’re all in the same place, I want all the t on how this went down. I’m sure there is an excellent story.”
Marley, sitting at her kitchen table with her Mom puttering around behind her, “Kurt, Blaine, I’m so happy for you guys. You guys are proof that soulmates do exist and you give me faith that I’ll find mine. Congratulations!”
Ryder’s screen shakes as he’s clearly jumping up and down, “Dude! You did it! Kurt, I don’t know you that well, but you always remembered my name, and that was cool. I’m so happy
for you guys! This is so awesome!”
And finally Jake’s short video, a close up on his face, but the mirrored wall behind him makes it appear that he’s in a dance studio, “Congrats guys. I hope it works out for you.”
All in all, it was worth it for Kitty to completely drain her battery, she got to witness one of the nicest guys she’s ever met live out his dream and she got to do it with her friends there in spirit. All in all, it was a pretty sweet day. (She’s definitely riding back to Lima with Tina, Artie and Mike, that way, it will remain a sweet day.)