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Saiko stared into the mirror, all he could see was a pathetic son. He was the heir to such a large, flourishing company, and yet he looked so shattered.
He shouldn't look that way, no one wanted him to unhappy. No one should be able to tell he's unhappy, because his pride is all a facade.
He should be joyous, bouncing with energy and overflowing with pride.
Yet he looked like absolute garbage.
His hair was matted from waking up, dark eyebags under his eyes. Those eyes were dull, looking fed up with existence.
He should be happy. Happiness was easy. It was as simple as breathing. He should look so eager and merry every day.
Things that made anyone happy was served to him on a silver platter, and yet he was still unsatisfied. How spoiled could he get? How is he so fucking selfish?
A tear, he didn't have the right to shed a tear, not a single one. He shouldn't be crying over anything. Not the constant scolding, not his mother being gone forever.
She died during childbirth, you shouldn't be mourning her. You fucking killed her.
His father's voice rang in his head. How dare he feel sad when others had so much more to deal with? His life was perfect, everything was perfect. There was nothing he should be crying about. Every obstacle has been cleared from his path, he should be happy.
Why was he crying more?
Stop fucking crying.
STOP FUCKING CRYING.
SHUT UP, NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOU. YOU ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH. DIE. FUCKING DIE. YOU DESERVE IT AT THIS POINT. KILLING YOUR OWN FUCKING MOTHER? VILE PIECE OF SHIT.
Why is face so wet? He shouldn't be crying. He doesn't deserve to cry.
He has wealth, he has a manor, he has anything he could ever want. Everything. Including happiness.
He should be happy. He should. He should be perfectly happy, yet he chooses not to.
Saiko pulled down his sleeve, revealing pink and red slits. Each one symbolized a breakdown he's had. He has his pocket knife in his opposite hand. The blade shined against the natural light from the window.
He shouldn't be cutting himself. He has no real issues. He's doing it for attention, he just wants the attention. He's never shown anyone the cuts.
You're so pompous, you're so prideful. Always asking to be oppressed, well, buddy, you're not. You've lived life on easy mode. You haven't been through anything.
Before he knew it, he was tracing scars into his skin and further down his arm. It hurt so nicely, it felt so right. He went a little deeper with it, blood trickling out of the wound like a faucet.
He deserved this. He deserved the pain it brought him for being selfish.
Slowly, more blood gushed from the wound. Saiko smiled at it.
Then he realized something, doing this was selfish. Thinking he had any right to pretend to be sad was disgusting. He was romanticizing it. It was real people's issues, other people have had it so much worse than him. So so much worse.
He should never complain a single bit. Nothing he wants is out of reach, he's just lazy. He's just the fucking problem. He's just so overly emotional all the time. Why does he even bother crying crocodile tears? No one will care to see him. Why? 'Cause they know he'll perfectly stable. He's just over exaggerating everything. It's all hyperbole. It's all a sick act.
He has friends at PK Academy too! He shouldn't want anyone to see him as he actually is, they do see him. They see you as a pretentious jerk that buys people to do your bidding. They despise you and everything you stand for.
Fucking hell, kid, why are you still fraternizing with those peasants? Just get the grades and your stupid girl and move on. You shouldn't be meandering around, your wasting the precious time I've gave your here.
He shouldn't be talking to those plebes even if he wants to, they simply will corrupt him. He's gonna move anyway, so it's best not to get attached to any of them.
You sound like your fucking father. Your going to yell at your kids like him. You are his kin, you are just as fucked up as him. Your going to lock your kids in a closet and-
Shut. UP. He- he doesn't want to hear about the closet. That's too far, he doesn't want any kid to experience punishment like that. Severe isolation is terrible and wrong. He wouldn't.
He couldn't be like him.
He shouldn't be thinking things like this. He couldn't even have the closet as a suggestion. It was cruel and unusual punishment. He wouldn't grow up to be him. He doesn't know if he even wants children...
He'd only perpetuate the behavior. He could act just like him and not notice. His children could be just like him. Selfish, spoiled, disgusting people who pretend to be hurt and broken and abused. They would end up as the scumbag he is.
He doesn't want that, he'd hate himself more if that happened. He couldn't forgive himself.
Saiko tentatively wraps his arm with the cuts in a cloth bandage and secures it tightly. He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
He grabs a tissue and wipes his eyes and blows his nose.
Saiko looks into the mirror once more and sees a bright red face stare back at him. He glares at the reflection and resists the urge to punch it and shatter the glass.
Such a disgusting face deserves to be punched...
Maybe he won't go to school tommorow, maybe wait for his scars to heal first.
Yeah, he doesn't think he'll go to school tommorow.
He'll just skip...no one will miss him anyway.
It's not like he matters in the grand scheme of things.
Hopefully his father won't be home to torment him.