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After the battle against Ultron, everything came to Wanda as if through a haze of smoke. Everything seemed less real, like she truly had died and is just unwillingly watching the lives of others from the sidelines. The other Avengers would often try to speak to her, offering her empty words and sentiments that were supposed to comfort her. As if anything could make her brother’s death alright. As if the right amount of platitudes would snap her out of it and make her a valuable member of the team.
What they said didn’t matter. She already knew that Pietro wouldn’t want her to be living like this, but she also knew that he wouldn’t be surprised that she felt as if she had died with him. She knew that he would be exactly the same if she had been the one who died. He was half of her soul, and he had been suddenly and violently torn from her. How exactly did these people expect her to simply get over that?
Weeks passed after the fight. Wanda trained with the Avengers at their new facility, not even truly feeling as though she were still a person but knowing that if she didn’t throw herself into something, she might then give up entirely, and the one thing that she couldn’t allow herself to do was fail Pietro.
The friendliness of the others helped only a little. Sam was always the first to start a conversation with her even as other agents watched her warily from the sidelines. He was kind, seeming to somehow understand what she was going through. She was sorry that he too had experienced loss, but sharing that didn’t do much to help.
Rhodey was nice too. He made jokes a lot, and he seemed to understand when Wanda didn’t laugh. He looked pleased enough if he could get a small smile from her. She found out quickly that he was a very loyal person, and he had apparently already extended his loyalty to include her.
The Vision was different. He had saved her life, that was true, but Wanda couldn’t bring herself to be grateful for that. When she had gone to Ultron after Pietro had been killed, she went there to die. Her twin was gone, her home was moments from being destroyed, and her heart had been torn from her chest. There didn’t seem to be anything left for her to live for, but Vision forced her to keep going. Deep down, she knew that for all he had immediately distrusted the android, Pietro would thank him for saving her. But Pietro was gone, and she could not fully forgive the android for keeping her from joining him.
The Captain was different in a completely separate way, and Wanda found herself contemplating him sometimes. There was something about him that was tragic and broken, something that mirrored how she felt inside. Something that spoke of an inconceivable loss. When she heard him talking to Sam a few days later and heard about someone named Bucky, she began to piece the puzzle together. Steve had survived his tragedies and he never stopped fighting, and Wanda realized that she respected that and wanted to someday do the same. She would never get over losing Pietro, but perhaps she could be strong enough to not give up on life entirely, no matter how much pain she was in.
So, she later accepted Natasha’s offer to train her in hand to hand combat. She was obviously much more comfortable with her powers, but it couldn’t hurt to know how to defend herself should anything happen to take them away from her. They would meet daily between breakfast and afternoon group training, and Wanda almost managed to enjoy herself at times as Natasha opened up to her somewhat and she found herself doing the same about tiny pieces of her past.
She couldn’t help but to be glad that Stark had left for the time being. She would fight alongside him to save the world, but she could not just erase everything she felt when she looked at him. Even if he had changed, he was still the person who made the bomb that had killed her parents and destroyed her home, leaving her emotionally traumatized for years. He might be different now, but she was satisfied with his absence.
The one person that she would have preferred not to have taken a temporary leave was Clint. He was alive because her brother was not. Yes, Pietro had been saving the little boy, but he gave his life for Barton as well. He was a kind man and father who had instinctively known exactly what to say to Wanda in the battle. She wanted to be able to know more of who he was to make sure that Pietro had at least died for the best possible cause.
--
Training could be incredibly hard. The group ran through various scenarios, trying to somehow be prepared for anything, even though they all had to know that that couldn’t be possible. After several more weeks of this, Barton finally returned and joined them. Once it was getting dark at the end of their first day of training with him, he pulled Wanda aside into one of the living rooms.
“I just wanted you to know…” he cleared his throat. “My wife just had our baby. We named him Nathaniel Pietro. I just… Yeah, I thought you might want to know.” He said, managing to look guilty still.
Wanda felt pain mixed with something good mingle in her heart, and even as tears sprang to her eyes, she managed a smile. “Thank you. I really hope he is well.”
“He is. He’s great, really adorable.” The corners of his mouth curled up. “Do you want to see pictures?”
Wanda found herself nodding, and Clint pulled out his phone and started to play a video. In it, a little smiling baby was wearing a onesie with the words ‘Nathaniel Pietro Barton’ on it. Wanda blinked back tears as she smiled down at the child. When the video ended and she looked back at Clint, she found that he was already watching her. Her eyebrows drew together in confusion.
“It shouldn’t have been him.” He finally blurted out. “I was protecting the kid. He wouldn’t have gotten hurt by the bullets—I would have. Your brother died for me, and I am so sorry. I can never apologize enough.”
Wanda inhaled sharply. No, no, no—she couldn’t talk about this. It was too soon, it hurt too much—
“But because of him, I get to see my family again. I got to see my youngest son being born, and I’ll get to keep being there for all of them. But I can’t shake the guilt. You and your brother, you’re practically kids. You’re technically young enough to be my kids. And Pietro sacrificed himself to save me even though he barely knew me and I was practically an enemy to you two just days before. There is nothing that I can to do to repay what he did for me, but I think the best thing I can do for him is to be there for you, so just know that I am. If you ever need any help or a place to stay or anything, just let me know, okay?”
Wanda stared at him in shock. This was the first time someone had outright mentioned Pietro’s death to her, and in the moment, it was just too much. The tears that she had always managed to contain during daylight hours finally spilled over as they did nearly every night in the privacy of her room. Her shoulders shook as she took great shuddering gasps of air, trying desperately to bring herself back under control. She barely registered anything that Clint was saying as he put an arm around her and guided her to sit on a couch.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—shit. Wanda, it’s alright. You’ll be okay.” He tried to console her, running a comforting hand down her arm.
She shook her head frantically. “I will not be okay.” She whispered, staring down at her hands trembling in her lap. “Pietro…” Even just saying his name felt like she was tearing open a wound. “He is gone. He was my life, and now he’s gone.”
“Wanda—”
“It’s my fault.”
“No.” Clint said firmly. “Your brother died a hero because that’s what he was. It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have stopped him.”
She continued to shake her head. “No, I did all of this.”
“Wanda—”
“When Hydra came to us after the riots, they told us they were SHIELD and they had a way for us to fight back with more than just words and protests. I convinced Pietro to do it. He would not have gone if it were not for me. He would not let me volunteer alone.” She sobbed, her accent getting thicker as she continued to speak.
Clint struggled desperately to find the right words to offer her some small amount of comfort. “He went with you because he loved you. You probably would’ve done the same thing if it was the other way around, right?”
“But it wasn’t. All of the torture that we went through, that he had to endure… it was because of me. And then when you all came to the facility, it was one of the few times they let us see each other, be with each other, and we wasted it by fighting for the people who imprisoned and tortured us. And then when we would have our revenge on Stark, I made Pietro let him go, and then he built Ultron. That was my fault too.” She finally lifted her head to meet Clint’s concerned gaze, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“You made a mistake, Wanda.” He said softly. “One that you made up for when you fought with us against Ultron.”
“No. I practically made the thing that murdered my brother.” She clenched her hands into fists, fighting to contain her powers that were desperate to lash out and just destroy everything around her. “The worst part is that I thought we were going to win. I thought it was nearly over and we could be heroes once it was. So I sent him away, and I told him not to come back for me until every single person was on the boats.” Her eyes were so devastated and just exhausted. Clint wanted so badly to help her, this poor girl who seemed so much younger than she was now, but he didn’t know how. “You and the boy were the last people.” She choked out. “We almost made it, but I told him to take care of everyone else first, and he has never not done as I asked.” She sobbed, collapsing in on herself.
Clint squeezed her shoulder, his eyes now full of tears as well. “You can’t blame yourself, Wanda. It’s going to tear you up inside, and it’s not what Pietro would want.”
“You can’t know what he would—”
“Look, Wanda. I barely knew him, I admit that, but the one thing that was the most obvious thing in the world was that he loved you. So I can confidently say that he would never want anything but the best for you, and he would definitely not want you to blame yourself. You know that he wouldn’t be blaming you for this at all. So doing this, hurting yourself—it would just be hurting him if he were here. Wanda,” he waited until she raised her gaze to his again and then continued in a softer tone. “It’s okay to mourn him. I’d be worried if you didn’t. You loved him, and he’s gone, and it’s going to hurt like hell for a long time. But I know that you’re strong, so this won’t destroy you. It might take a while, but you’ll heal, and you’ll get through this. And I am going to be there every step of the way whenever you need help, so just remember that you don’t have to go through this alone.”
Wanda remained quiet for several moments, just trying to get her breathing back under control and stop the steady flow of tears. She clutched at one of her necklaces that her brother had given to her. “I am afraid that it already has destroyed me.” She whispered brokenly. “I feel like I died with him, and all that is left is the part of me that will be a soldier for the Avengers.”
“It might seem like that now, but everything that you’re feeling right now shows just how human and alive you are. It’s probably the worst part of being a human, but with everything you’re feeling… it shows you’re still Wanda. You can still be without your brother, no matter how hard it is.”
“I don’t want to be without him.” A single tear coursed down her cheek.
“I know. I am so sorry.” He tentatively reached out to pull Wanda into a hug, and after just a second’s hesitation, she clung to him, burying her face in his shoulder. Several minutes passed with him just quietly murmuring reassurances to her, hoping something would get through to her.
Even after his speech about how Wanda shouldn’t blame herself for Pietro’s death, he couldn’t shake his own guilt. If he had just been faster, he could’ve gotten the kid on the boat and then Pietro would’ve just gone back to Wanda and everyone would have been alright, and the poor girl in his arms wouldn’t be mourning the only family she had left. He wished that his apologies and regret could change anything that had happened.
--
Over the next few days, Clint kept a closer eye on Wanda. Natasha noticed pretty quickly and immediately discerned his reason for it. She then went on her own spiel to him about how the kid chose to take the bullets for him and he couldn’t have changed what happened. Her attempt at comforting him just brought him back to when she had broken him free of Loki’s mind control, and then he had even more trouble dealing with what had happened. Needing to get away from everyone for just a while, he left to train on his own where he had set up a range of targets to keep his shooting skills perfect. However, he had barely been there ten minutes before he heard a commotion coming from the hall. He dropped his practice weapons and went back inside, only to see Steve and Natasha holding back a hysterical Wanda as red tendrils surged out from her hands, throwing any loose items around the room.
“What’s going on?” He demanded, rushing over, just then noticing Dr. Cho and Maria Hill.
Maria spoke. “We’re just trying to explain that—”
“Let me see him.” Wanda sobbed. “Where is he?”
“Wanda, we will take you to him as soon as you’ve calmed down.” Maria said firmly, looking sympathetically at the girl.
Clint turned to Natasha. “Nat?”
“Helen managed to patch up Pietro, apparently.” She said flatly, angry for Wanda’s sake that they had kept this from her. Clint stared at her in shock.
“Not entirely,” the doctor spoke up, eyeing Wanda warily as she tried to bring herself back under control. “He did die for eight minutes. I did all that I could with our machines, and his increased healing ability helped, but after all this time, he still hasn’t regained consciousness. It just… It now seems unlikely that he will, so Fury decided it was time to tell Wanda.”
“You should’ve told her the second he was breathing again.” Steve said.
“That was not my decision, I’m afraid.” She said quietly. “But I can take you to him now.”
Wanda yanked her arms free and stared the doctor down until she nodded and turned, leading the way toward a private wing of the facility. Wanda’s hands trembled as Helen unlocked the door with a keycard and led them all inside.
A quiet cry escaped her as she laid eyes on Pietro and then ran to his side. Everyone else hung back slightly. Wanda climbed onto the bed and sat back on her heels, taking one of Pietro’s hands into both of her own and pressing it to her lips. She began whispering to him in Serbian as her tears fell silently.
“Maybe we should give her some space,” Steve suggested quietly, staring after her sadly. Natasha nodded, glancing at Clint whose stony expression belied the myriad of emotions he was feeling in that moment.
“Right. We can check on her in a bit.” He said. He nodded toward the door, and everyone filed out, leaving the twins alone.
Wanda looked down at her brother, too afraid to search his mind to see if there was any consciousness to be found. He was there physically, albeit kept alive mostly by the machines surrounding him. Still, he was there, and Wanda could not give up this new hope that had been given to her.
She brushed her fingers over his face, gently pushing back his hair. She frowned at his lax expression and stillness, so used to him being expressive and unable to remain motionless even in sleep.
“Wake up, Pietro,” she murmured. She leaned down and pressed her forehead to his, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. “I need you to come back to me.” Taking a deep, shaky breath, she gathered her courage and reached into his mind, resting both of her hands gingerly on his temples.
She gasped aloud, eyes flying open and tears of joy springing to them as she was able to sense him. His body wasn’t just an empty shell—Pietro had survived as well. And now, after having reached into his consciousness, their connection was reestablished and the emptiness that had been tearing Wanda apart inside simply vanished.
She shifted back to sit again. Now certain that he would be alright, she was content enough to wait for him to wake up.
--
Days passed slowly, but now they lacked the overwhelming dread that had accompanied each sunrise for Wanda when she believed Pietro to be dead. Her daily pattern changed. Now, outside of training and mealtimes, she spent nearly every moment at her brother’s bedside. Each night, she would retire to his room, curling up beside him and allowing herself to be soothed into her first nightmare-free nights since the battle that had made her worst fear come true.
It was five days before Clint would go beyond the doorway where he stood periodically, checking that the sarcastic kid who had saved his life was still alive and his sister was doing alright. He saw Wanda looking happier than he’d seen her since the battle. She was usually in a chair with a different book every day, her legs either tucked under her or stretched out onto the bed. She would occasionally laugh at parts of the books and then read them aloud to her brother, either not caring whether he could hear her or somehow knowing that he could. Clint was at least extremely relieved by her happiness and willingness to laugh. If she wasn’t confident in his eventual wellbeing, then Clint doubted she would be doing much better than she had been before Dr. Cho’s revelation.
When he finally stepped inside, Wanda looked up at him and greeted him with a soft smile, which was easily the most welcome sight to him in the last couple weeks.
“How’re you doing?” he asked, leaning against a wall on the opposite side of the bed.
“Very good. And I will be better soon when he wakes.” She looked at him in confusion. “You look worried.”
“Yeah, I just… You’re sure he’s gonna wake up? It’s been two months. Normally—”
“He is not normal, though. He will wake up very soon.” She said adamantly, widening her eyes at him. He nodded, not about to be the one to take away her hope—or his own, for that matter. “I did want to thank you for the things you said to me. They… helped me some, before I knew he would be alright.”
“Of course.” Clint said immediately. “I’m just really glad you don’t have to go through any of that anymore.”
She smiled kindly at him, though it was slightly marred by thoughts of the darkness that she had been enduring just days before. “I am too.” She said quietly, turning her gaze back to Pietro and taking his hand again.
Clint took that as his cue to go. He glanced down at the unconscious boy once more before leaving the room in search of Natasha. Wanda stayed the rest of the day, panicking momentarily when Pietro’s first movement was to quake as he choked but then relaxing when a nurse removed the tube from his throat that had been breathing for him. Dr. Cho came in shortly after, seeming astounded as she proclaimed that he was breathing on his own and his vitals were stabilizing. Wanda looked almost smug as she grinned down at her brother.
“We will be speaking very soon, Pietro.” She murmured that night. “I should warn you that I will probably yell at you a lot for leaving me, but you know it’s because I love you. So just remember that and hurry back, yes?” With that said, she settled in to sleep.
The following morning, she woke to see Pietro’s eyes open and watching her with an incredible softness. She managed one shaky breath before she threw herself onto him, wrapping her arms tightly around him as he clung to her in return. There were a million things that she was desperate to say, but the only thing that came from her lips over and over again was his name, somewhat muffled as she buried her face in his neck.
He brushed his fingers through her hair as he held her head to him, mindless of the various tubes and wires that he was connected to as he held her. “It’s alright,” he murmured in Serbian, voice rough. “You’re alright.”
She tightened her grip on him. “I was so angry with you for leaving me. You tore my heart out.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She felt him place kisses in her hair between apologies. “I won’t leave you again. I won’t, Wanda.”
“You’d better not. I don’t know if I could survive it.”
“I know you could. You’re stronger than I’ll ever be. But,” he continued quickly as she pulled back and opened her mouth to protest. “I don’t have any plans to die again anytime soon, so you don’t have to worry about it. I’ll be as careful as possible, I promise.” He said solemnly.
She just stared down at him for several moments before practically deflating and lying back down beside him, wrapping an arm across his chest. “I had so many things that I was going to say to you when you woke up, but I can’t think of any of them now.”
“That’s alright. We’ll have plenty of time to talk about anything you want for the rest of our lives.” He said, smiling at her. “We should get all of these needles out of me now. I don’t need them anymore.”
“Maybe we should wait for a doctor to do that.” Wanda protested, grabbing his hand to stop him from pulling them out.
“Wanda, I’m fine. I don’t need them—”
“Humor me, Pietro.” She said, raising her eyebrows. He sighed and capitulated, and she got up to call for the nurse in the adjacent room. He rushed inside and began to inspect the machines and Pietro after calling Dr. Cho. Once she arrived, the pair spent over an hour examining their patient before amazedly declaring that he was perfectly healthy enough to go.
Pietro got up after everything attached to him had been removed, threw on the clothes that were provided for him, thanked Dr. Cho, and then eagerly went to Wanda’s side. She took his hand and led him out of the room, smiling brighter than she had in ages.
“You will love it here, I think. I know I will be able to now that you’re with me.” She said excitedly, continuously looking over at Pietro as he stared around the facility in wonder while they walked. She squeezed his hand and brought her other one around to hold his arm, still feeling like this was somehow a dream that she could be viciously torn away from. They walked past a small group of agents that looked at them strangely, whether because they were surprised to see Pietro or because the twins were speaking another language, they didn’t care. “You will be an Avenger now too, of course. And we will train together every day with the others. You’ll like them.” She beamed as Pietro smiled back at her.
“Next time we fight together, I will be staying by your side.” Pietro said firmly.
She nodded immediately. “You will not be leaving my side at all for a very long time. You know,” she nudged his side. “You are technically only four minutes older than me now. I’m going to have to look after you even more than before.”
He rolled his eyes good naturedly. “Twelve minutes, four minutes. I’m still older than you.” He laughed.
Wanda felt a pang in her heart at the sound. “I missed this. I missed you.”
His expression immediately became serious. He stopped walking in order to face her and then brought his free hand up to cup her cheek. His gaze bore down into hers. “Wanda, I am never going to leave you again. I swear to you. You are stuck with me forever.” She nodded shakily, and he leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Now, tell me about all of these new friends you have made.” He said brightly, gesturing for her to lead the way again. She began to tell him the basics about each person on the team as she guided them toward the main kitchen.
When they entered the room minutes later, the rest of the team was inside eating, but they all went silent and still as they stared at the twins in the doorway. After a few moments, Clint was the first to speak up.
“I have to say, a week ago, I definitely didn’t think that I’d see you alive again.” He got up from his chair and went over to them. He offered his hand to Pietro. “I’m glad that I’m getting the chance to. Thanks for saving my life.”
Pietro shook it, keeping his other hand in Wanda’s. “Anytime, old man.”
After Clint, the others essentially became a stream of well-wishers until everyone had spoken and Wanda dragged Pietro over to get food. While they ate with the others, Wanda announced that she would not be joining them for training that day, and she requested that she not be disturbed unless there was some emergency. The twins finished eating quickly, Wanda’s impatience to be away from the others once more so encompassing that Pietro could feel her frustration. She got to her feet and took his hand again, pulling him along with her back to the room that had been given to her. Once inside, she flicked her wrist to send the door shut behind them and then dragged him back into her arms, letting out a heavy sigh of relief.
“I’m going to need a lot of time just with you.” She said quietly, fisting her fingers in his shirt.
“Good thing I don’t have any plans.” Pietro murmured, holding her securely but gently, as if she could break if he wasn’t careful enough with her.
“I mean it. I don’t care what anyone else needs for at least a few days. You have to be entirely mine.”
He let out a quiet laugh. “That’s what I’ve always been, Wanda.” He pulled away slightly and tipped her face up. “It’s not about to change now.”
She looked up into his eyes for what seemed like minutes before finally appearing satisfied and stepping back, going over to the bed and laying back. She lazily motioned for him to join her, and less than a second later, Pietro appeared beside her amidst the familiar and comforting whooshing sound.
“You probably shouldn’t be doing much running so soon.” Wanda chastised him halfheartedly.
“I haven’t even moved in months. I’ve probably gotten slower! Besides, it can’t hurt.”
She shook her head and turned into his side, reaching around for his hand. “I can’t help but still be mad at you for leaving me, but it’s just because losing you hurt so much.” She brushed her thumb across the back of his hand and shifted to meet his intense gaze. “I don’t know if more time without you would have gotten harder or easier, but it’s not something I ever want to find out, so thank you for coming back to me.”
A corner of his mouth quirked up into a small smile. “How could I do anything else? We were never meant to be separated.”
“This is true.” She nodded solemnly.
“And so we never will be again.” He vowed.
“You promise, Pietro? Because I cannot bear to lose you again.”
“I promise. Nothing will ever separate us. After all, we’ve already proven that even death cannot succeed in doing so. What else possibly could? We will both continue to get more powerful, and we will have friends now that can protect us as well. Anything that would hope to tear us apart doesn’t stand a chance.”