Archive of Our Own ^beta

'You better bring my baby back' Anne warns ominously. Harry recognises the threat and gulps.

'Its just for the summer Mum' he says placatingly. Luke looks up and beams at them both toothily, as oblivious as ever.

'He's so big now, nearly 5 years old' she sighs, as if he’s ready for University. 'and now, drifting away'.

Harry pretends to fall asleep and she whacks him on his arm.

'He's my only grandchild' she sniffs, 'so excuse me for wanting him around.'

'You are welcome to pop down to the cottage for a weekend' Harry offers. His Mum pats his hand affectionately.

'Wouldn't dream of it, you two need some time together, after the last tour'.

She means it kindly but Harry feels the all too familiar swirl of guilt in his stomach. It has been practically 4 months since he had last seen his son. The tour had been extended, his first joint tour with Ed, and he’s only seen Luke through skype, the odd video message and a brief weekend visit. Seeing his boy grow up through a screen had practically killed him and so he’d asked for the summer off before recording his new album in the autumn. After 3 back-to-back tours and a shedload of merchandising rights signed over – the label could hardly argue. Harry had booked the cottage he had spent his summers in as a child with his Mum and Gemma and hoped for some bonding time before Luke grew up without him.

'I am sooooo excited' Luke whoops, turning the TV off and dancing up to Harry with a peculiar little jig. 'I am packing tonight, and them we are off!' he zooms off, miming flying around the room.

Harry and Anne just look at each other and laugh.

'You can tell him it’s just a car journey' she giggles, escaping to the kitchen.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

The car ride isn't so bad. Luke provides constant entertainment, and he’s always happy to take the wrapper from every Starburst before popping it into his dad’s mouth for him. Harry had just heard about Gemma's secret new boyfriend–Luke is an excellent spy– when he notices the turn off for Wharfedale. Luke claps his hands excitedly over the pretty town, full of rolling green hills, children playing on a playground and the old church chiming 5 o'clock. It looks like something from a Enid Blyton book.

'I love it here' he declares, fussing to get out of his booster seat. Harry shoots Luke a look and he stills, fixing an innocent expression on his face.

'Daddy, you will look silly here' Luke says, gesturing to the people on the pavements with their cords, gilets and wellies.

'I look silly everywhere' Harry tells him, pulling a mad face. Luke collapses into giggles.

They pull up to the cottage and Harry feels a happy swell of nostalgia. He can almost hear Gemma's screams as she finds the frog in her bed. He remembers feeling at home and free here, all at the same time. Sleeping top and tail with his sister and waking up to his Mum's pancakes, running to the post office to buy sweets and making friends with the local children. He idly thinks to look them up.

Luke runs inside yelping and clapping his hands; he grins at Harry from his position on the worn, stone doorstep then races up the stairs.

After a second he hears his son’s voice, 'I want this room, Dad can I?'

Harry guesses it’s the room with the dinosaur motif and not the sensible master bedroom so he shouts up his agreement and goes to stick the kettle on.

Harry reads Luke a bedtime story after his bath and is completely whacked by the time he makes it to bed. He lets out a weary chuckle when he saw the time: 9:43pm.

'Such a rock star Styles' he murmurs to himself before flicking off the light.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

Harry wakes up to a suspiciously quiet house. He winces at the harsh sunlight streaming through the flowery curtains. He yawns and pushes back his hair. The press weren’t always so kind about his longer locks, but he loves it. His fans often wave banners citing their adoration of his hair, Luke likes making it into a bun and Gemma practices her braiding skills using him as her model. He figures he could wait a while for a cut.

'Luke?' he calls, his voice gruff in the morning, as he pads his way down the stairs.

Luke is outside in the garden, fashioning a football net from two washing line poles and a tea towel.

'Its a bit early Lukie' Harry calls to him. Luke's face lights up and he runs over, almost tackling his dad to the floor.

'Its so cool waking up and you're here!' he beams, making Harry's heart sink. How many mornings has he missed?

'Good' he says, running his hand over Luke's dark hair.

'Wanna play?' Luke asks, letting his hand  go to go and find a football.

'Maybe in a bit, I'm going to make us some toast and hot chocolate' Harry answers, shivering as the dew from the grass seeped through his socks.

They have a quiet breakfast together, Luke dropping crumbs everywhere and Harry trying not to care before he suggests taking a walk round the small village. Luke agrees and goes to find his trainers.

Harry puts on his trademark outfit, skinny jeans, smart coat and his fedora and hopes his Saint Laurent outfit won't get too dirty. He locks the door carefully behind them and watches as Luke skids and slides his way down the hill, waving to the milkman who is making his way back up.

The village is tiny really. There is a pond, a town hall and a church on one side and a small parade of shops and a pub on the other. Luke is seemingly amazed by everything, pointing out a duckling and waving to everyone he meets. They stop at the post office and Harry buys Luke an ice-cream from the adjoining shop, and laughs as it drips all over his hands. They go into the bakery for a napkin.

'Hello dearies, what can I get you?' a happy looking lady asks them, taking a small notepad out from the pocket of her flowered apron.  She gives Harry's hat a sceptical glance but smiles regardless.

'A napkin please' Luke requests politely. Harry feels like he could burst with pride.

'And maybe an orange juice?' Harry glances at Luke who nods, mouthing without the bits 'without the bits...and I'll have a double espresso.'

The lady looks at him with an amused expression. 'You'll be lucky love, its filter coffee or yorkshire tea'.

Harry doesn’t want to feel like a pretentious celebrity for making a fuss, so he just asks for a coffee and guides Luke towards the gents to wash his hands.

'I think I remember you' the lady hums as she presents them with their drinks. 'You're Anne's boy – right?'

Harry’s stunned, 'yes, wow!'

'I never forget a face' she crows, 'I'm Barbara. I remember your sister too, little thing in pink dungarees?'

Harry smiles fondly at the memories. 'Yes, Gemma. This is my son, Luke. We're here for the summer'.

'Carrying on the family tradition' Barbara slips Luke a bright yellow bendy straw and he grins up at her before sipping his juice. Thankfully most of his front teeth are either staying put for the mean time or already adult teeth.

'I guess so' Harry smiles.

'The old gang is still here' Barbara adds, 'Niall has a farm now, his Dad is retired. Zayn's an artist and Liam sorts out everything for him'.

Harry can't believe his old friends stayed around, 'that's really great, I'll have to look them up'

'Make sure you do' Barbara wipes her hands on her apron and heads back to attend to a customer. ‘Don’t be a stranger.’

Luke happily blows bubbles in his juice whilst Harry is content to just sit and watch him. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to visit the boys. Whenever Gemma drove him mad he would escape to the small cluster of trees behind the church. There was a den, and a gang of boys who were always happy to let him join in. He remembered playing football and learning how to make a fire, running away from the pig Niall's Dad' owned and his first crush on Liam's sister. He wonders if they would remember him too.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

Harry and Luke decide to return home for a nap before dinner, but before they set off for the hill, Luke runs over to a shop window, pointing and calling for Harry excitedly.

'Look! A piano! You told me I could play one! Please'

Harry peers inside and sees a small shop full of musical instruments. Bright blue lanterns provide some light and a winding staircase lead to a small looking upstairs. He can imagine a wizened old man living there, stroking his beard and reminiscing about the swinging sixties.

'Nah, looks a bit old fashioned Luke'.

Luke looks crushed. 'You tell me it’s vintage Dad, not old'.

Maybe Luke had him there. But before Harry can relent, or make some kind of excuse, Luke spots a ginger kitten on the other side of the road and forgets all about the old music shop.

Harry’s just washing up from dinner, a slightly burnt risotto after he got distracted playing dinosaurs with Luke, when the doorbell rings. Luke helpfully screams ‘door door’ and leaps up to open it.

‘Luke, I’ve asked you-’ Harry is cut off by the weirdly familiar, but oh-so different faces of Niall, Liam and Zayn.

‘Hey big shot’ Niall waves, his hair now much blonder than he remembered but with his cheeky smile still in tact,  ‘remember us?’

Harry grins and bounds forwards, shaking their hands. It’s so strange seeing them again. They look the same but older. It felt stupid to think that, but it's true.   

‘You grew up hot’ he says without thinking, looking them over.  

‘Watch it’ laughs Zayn, gesturing to his and Liam’s matching rings. Harry cooes over them, completely forgetting about Luke until he felt a tug at his jeans.

‘Oh sorry, this is Luke’

All the boys wave at Luke who is playing at being shy, ducking his head.

‘My son’ Harry explains, ‘and he’s being shy, which is very unlike him.’

‘I bet he hates meeting new people’ Zayn sighs, ‘like people who bring him sweets’

Luke looks out, peering up at them curiously. ‘Sweets?’

‘Yeah’ Liam nods, ‘we heard Harry had a cool son who loved sweets...’

‘I’m a cool son!’ Luke pouts, ‘and I like all sweets’.

‘I don’t think you would like these’ Niall sighs. Liam swats him. ‘Excuse him Luke, he just wants to eat them all himself.’

Luke giggles, coming out to stand in front of Harry and putting on his cutest expression.

Hours later, and with Luke fast asleep at Liam’s shoulder, they fall into a comfortable silence. Harry feels his head spinning from all the new information. Niall now owns a farm, and is making a good living. Liam and Zayn are married! He likes to think he had seen that coming, especially after Liam took on Ashley Benson for threatening Zayn when they were kids. He still remembers Zayn’s awestruck face. He fights a pang of jealousy at their casual intimacy, hands linked over Luke’s sleeping body.

‘Come to the farm, the two of you. Maybe Wednesday?’ Niall offers, jolting Harry out of his thoughts. ‘It’ll be fun, he can see a duckling or muck out a stable or whatever’.

Harry looks down at his new boots. He didn’t want to muck out any stable, that's for sure. He puts his own diva-like tendencies aside and agrees to take Luke, who hadn’t stopped talking about having a pony for a pet once he found out about Niall’s stables.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

‘I am so bored’ Luke announces. Harry looks up from the magazine and raises an eyebrow.

‘Like, I could die bored’ Luke continues, lying upside down on the couch. His T-shirt covers his eyes and he looks like a grouchy teenager with an emo fringe. Harry remembers his own emo phase with a shudder.

‘Really?’ Harry feigns concern, clutching his heart and jumping up. Luke giggles before going back to frowning.

‘Oh my god’ Harry flings a hand over his face. ‘Lets get you to the fun hospital’ he leans over Luke and grabs him, flinging him over his shoulder. ‘It might be too late for this patient, it's an emergency!’ Luke squeals and kicks his feet against Harry’s back.

‘Go go Dad’ he yells. Used to Luke’s volume by now, he barely winces.

They’re in the car and halfway out of the drive when Harry suddenly thinks of where he can take Luke.

The music shop seems to be open this time, as the lanterns are lit and the door is ajar. Luke creeps towards the door like he isn’t sure if he’s allowed in. Harry gestures to him to go in and Luke pushes the door open.

They both hear the tinkling of a piano and a soft, pretty voice.

‘I don’t know’ Luke looks unsure. ‘Are we rude to go in Dad?’

‘Hello?’ Harry calls, as he takes Luke’s hand. They look at all the instruments hanging around them. Small drums and bongos littered the floor, guitars formed a line near the window and a saxophone hung from the ceiling. It’s ramshackle and atmospheric and Harry finds himself feeling strangely at home. Maybe the laid back hippy he imagines running this place would be interested in teaching him guitar.

The music stops and they hear the creak of a stool being pushed back. Luke looks at Harry fearfully.

‘C’in, we’re open’ a voice calls. He doesn’t sound so old.  Harry is a bit of a sucker for the Yorkshire accent and he tries not to swoon.

They walk into a small back room with a black piano and a big window showcasing the beautiful green hills and stream. But the scenery is lost on Harry.

The man is small. Not sturdy or stocky or anything, but compact and somehow curvy. He has pretty delicate features that are somehow masculine and handsome at the same time. Dark stubble dusts his jawline and he has the most unusual eyes, a bright blue with long eyelashes.

Harry barely manages to hold in his ‘ohmygodohmygod’ at the handsome man, and instead stumbles forwards. ‘Oops! Christ, sorry’ he apologises, tripping over an old floorboard. He can feel his face burn with embarrassment.

‘Hi’ the man grins, crinkles forming by his eyes. ‘Are you here for the toddler group-’ he pauses and looks at Luke, ‘but you’re a bit too big I think.’

Luke is greatly insulted. ‘I am 5’ he announces, ‘not a toddler’

‘Of course’ Louis replies, as if he is an idiot for even suggesting. ‘I thought I would ask though, because sometimes I have cool older kids come and help them play’.

‘I’m cool’ Luke says eagerly.

‘Obviously’ the man gestures to his zip-up Spiderman rain mac. ‘Who is cooler than Spiderman?’

‘I love Spiderman!’ Luke enthuses, ‘I have a Spiderman coat, and a bedspread and another one at Grandma’s, and a beaker...’

As Luke rattled off his list of Spiderman paraphernalia, Harry wonders who is more besotted with the gorgeous man - him or his son.

Louis. His name is Louis.

Harry feels like swinging round a lamppost singing his name. Louis. Luke had a piano lesson booked and Harry felt like he had a wedding to plan.

‘Eyes on the road’ Luke comments. He sounds unnervingly like his Grandma.

‘Sorry pal’ Harry says. They had left the shop after dragging a reluctant Luke away. Harry would have been happy to have just watched Louis all day, Louis eating, breathing, laughing. He would have been happy to just admire him, in his cute adidas vintage hoodie and tucked in socks. In his beanie, his caramel fringe just poking out, he had looked cosy and soft and Harry just wanted to bundle him up and hold him.

‘Calm down Styles’ he tells himself. He had always had tendency to leap ahead. His first - and only - girlfriend had received a huge, handmade card and teddy their first Valentine’s, and he had merely received half a Lindt truffle. Then he had mentioned babies to his - also first and only - boyfriend, just before Luke had come along, and Paul had gulped and ran. His Mum had often asked him to think before handing his heart over. He did see her point, but Louis was the first person he had felt a real attraction to in years and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling and humming.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

‘Its too early’ Harry complains as Luke yanks the cozy duvet off his sleeping form.

‘Nah’ Luke disagrees. ‘Its morning time and Uncle Niall farm day.’

‘How do you know about the farm?’ Harry yawns.

Luke rolls his eyes, a significant Gemma move. ‘I was pretending to be asleep Daddy, when you told Grandma on the phone. Its how you learn the good stuff’.

As he watches his son skip off to get dressed, humming Under the Sea, Harry just laughs to himself, feeling the joy at being around his son bubble up inside of him.

The farm is pretty, a ramshackle red building forming Niall’s cottage and a sprawling set of barns and fields full of squawking animals waiting to be fed.

‘I like it’ Luke says appraisingly, undoing his seatbelt and flinging himself out of the car.

‘Be careful’ Harry warns, doing up his coat for him and kissing his head.

‘I always am’ Luke huffs, looking up at his dad through his messy hair. ‘I’m not a baby’

‘My baby’ Harry reminds him, watching as Luke goes up to greet Niall as he appears through the gate.

‘Hey you two’ Niall smiles, shaking Harry’s hand, ‘ready to get back to nature?’

Harry isn’t so sure, but Luke is bouncing from toe to toe. Niall leads them over to the sheep and laughs uproariously as Luke lurches back after one bleats at him.

‘Sorry little dude’ he says, trying to stop laughing, ‘your face though’.

Luke sticks his tongue out and climbs up the pen, leaning over.

‘He’s okay’ Niall says, sensing Harry is going to yank him back. ‘So - we never got to hear about you. We see you in the papers, and sometimes Zayn sees you online - but what's the truth?’

‘The truth is’ Harry pauses, ‘I’m completely knackered’.

Niall nods and waits for him to continue. ‘It just hasn’t stopped, and I am grateful, really I am. But it’s been album after album, tours with each one. It all starts to blur together, and being watched all the time, well its tough.’

‘I bet you missed this one’ Niall nods over to Luke who is trying to wave a lamb over by offering him a sticky rolo from his pocket.

‘Every second’ Harry murmurs. ‘I’m doing it for him, not just to provide for him although I won’t lie and say the money isn’t amazing - but because it was my dream to sing and perform and I want him to know he can achieve his dreams and be whatever he wants to be’.

Niall flings an arm over his shoulder. ‘Sounds great to me mate, and now I know I can always come to you for a loan’

Harry tuts and pushes Niall into a bale of hay, earning himself a high-five from Luke.

They have a lunch of chicken nuggets and salad, Luke remaining blissfully unaware of the origin of his nuggets, before going for a walk round the fields. Luke is loving running about, imploring his Uncle Niall to chase him. Harry laughing as Niall fell into a puddle.

They are making their way back into the first paddock when they see someone drive up to the main house.

‘Looks like Tommo’ Niall says, holding up his arm to block the sun. ‘Yeah, his car’.

‘Tommo?’

‘He’s been my mate for ages, he stole your place in the gang’ he teases Harry who pouts. ‘Only kidding. He’s a great bloke, such a laugh. Actually, you two-’

‘Someone’s here’ Luke calls, interrupting Niall who just smiled and pushed the gate open.

‘Its Louis!’ he yells excitedly, running towards Louis and nearly falling over in his cumbersome wellies.

‘Hi Luke’ Louis winks, ruffling his hair. ‘I’m excited for tomorrow’

‘Me too!’ Luke replies, clinging onto his leg.

Harry isn’t sure if he was dreaming. Not only is he looking at Louis, who makes his knees weak - but he also has an adorable baby strapped to his chest.

‘Meet Dory’ Louis says, taking her hand and waving at them. ‘Hey Harry’ he says in a silly voice, pretending to be her and smiling up at Harry in a way that made his heart thump.

‘Hello Niall, how are you Niall?’ Niall mutters to himself, taking Luke’s hand and asking him if he wanted to see the horses.

‘Hi Dory’ Harry chimes, taking her little hand and placing a kiss to it. She blows a spit bubble at him and they both laugh as it pops.

‘I think thats a good sign’ Louis sighs. ‘She’s a little madam’.

‘Is she your daughter?’ Harry asks. He isn’t sure what he wants the answer to be.

Louis shakes his head, ‘She’s my sister. I have a big family.’

Harry looks curious so Louis continues, ‘I have 4 sisters, all younger - and two babies, Dory here and Ernie back with Mum. She needed a break, she’s a midwife, can you imagine? So I offered to take this one whilst Dan, my stepdad’ he adds, ‘took Erie for a bit’.

Harry feels like punching the air. When they were 13 and 16 respectively him and Gemma had made their list of the perfect man. When Harry had put good with children on his list she had nearly wet herself with laughter. ‘You are so cute and stupid’ she had laughed, mascara dripping down her cheeks, ‘Who would want that at 13. What a loser. He’ll be a right creep’. He feels like sending her a picture of Louis right now. No wedding ring, no mention of a partner and a baby in rainbow vans.

‘Let me sit down’ Louis whines, rubbing his neck. ‘The sling kills after a bit’

They settle down onto a pile of hay, Louis laughing when Harry yelps as a particularly sharp piece hurts his behind.

‘So - its weird meeting you in person. I always imagined you to be very smooth and edgy...I have to ask - is being a rockstar every bit as exciting as it looks?’ Louis asks expectantly, letting Dory fiddle with his keys.

‘You know who I am?’

Louis gives him the side-eye. ‘Um, yeah. Who wouldn’t? We may be out in the sticks but I don’t live on the moon’.

Harry feels like he’s offended Louis somehow. ‘Sorry..um it’s not so exciting...’ Harry kicks off his boots, for once, not caring about them getting dirty. ‘I am usually home and into a warm bath by 10:30’.

‘No wild parties then?’

‘I skype Luke at about 8am every morning, so I wouldn’t want him to see me hungover. We breakfast together sometimes too’.

Louis looks confused. Harry thinks it's a good look on him. He’s not sure what wouldn’t be a good look really.

‘But the time difference?’

‘Oh I get up’ Harry explains cheerfully, ‘I work out the difference then just pretend. He gets confused otherwise and once he got really upset thinking I wasn’t on Earth anymore’.

Harry half expects Louis to laugh or roll his eyes but Louis’ eyes soften. ‘Thats lovely Harry’ he says, huffing as he picked up the keys Dory had catapulted onto the floor.

Harry just shrugs. ‘I’m not there a lot. Its the least I can do’.

‘Who does he stay with...if you don’t mind me asking?’ Louis looks shy and kicks his feet amongst the mud.

‘My Mum, and my sister comes by a lot’ Harry’s face lights up just thinking about them. ‘They are amazing, he goes to nursery there and he starts school in September. I have a flat in Holmes Chapel, or I stay with Mum but we have places in Manchester and London too. We’re very nomadic I guess’.

‘Mad isn’t it, how quick they grow up?’ Louis says regretfully, pressing a kiss to Dory’s fair head. He looks at Harry’s wistful gaze and decides to change the subject.

‘By the way Styles’ he starts playfully, ‘I saw you on MTV the other day and as a music teacher I think I need to tell you - your guitar technique is awful’.

‘I’ll have you know my fingering technique is amazing’ Harry dares to flirt back.

Louis rolls his eyes, ‘your guitar technique’ he covers Dory’s ears and tuts.

‘Oh, that. I know, I know. I hate having to pretend I use it properly’ Harry winces, ‘but the label loves it and half the girls don’t notice I never play it’.

‘I understand that. There’s a lot to look at’ Louis says, waving a hand at him. Harry looks at him askew but Louis’ expression falls disarmingly blank.

‘I am supposed to be learning, but there never is time.’

Louis scoffs. ‘Lazy. And yet you won a VMA. Disgraceful’.

Harry’s sure-to-be witty retort is lost when Luke and Niall return, Luke covered in mud but happy.

‘Dad, I tried to catch this piglet but it escaped. It didn’t look like Piglet on TV though, so I don’t understand. Niall said I can come again. He said that I am helpful, can you tell Grandma Anne how helpful I am?’

‘Wow, he barely paused for breath’ Louis exclaims. ‘Are you sure he’s your son, Harry?’

Harry freezes.

‘I am his son’ Luke huffs, stamping his foot. He looks at Harry and then hurries away, tears clear in his eyes.

‘Oh fuck’ Louis intones, taking Dory off his chest. ‘Please hold her, please let me go’.

Harry takes Dory, who immediately squeals and grabs his hair.

‘Ouch...darling don’t’ Harry whimpers. Harry and Niall watch as Louis runs after Luke, who looked like he is heading for a shed.

‘He’s sensitive about it’ Harry says after a moment.

‘So he’s?’

‘Adopted? Yes. With his darker skin people sometimes guess. We’ve had a few mean comments. Mum was a foster carer for a while, after I finished Uni. One night she got a call, that a baby was found in an empty locker in the train station. I drove her, it must have been about 3am’. Harry pauses and collects himself, it never got any easier to tell the story. ‘He was so small and cold, i’ll never forget it. Mum agreed to take him, just temporarily like usual. But I ended up having him most of the time...and well, I just couldn’t let him go’.

Niall’s hand covers his. Harry squeezes it. Even Dory seems to be listening.

‘So I had to fight to get him, the court wasn’t sure. By then, I was gigging a bit with my mate Ed so money wasn’t great. But we kept fighting, Mum was amazing, we had surprise visits, I had to go through a lot - but it was worth everything. He’s my son. I would do absolutely anything for him. He knows I wasn’t there for him at the start of his life, he knows he doesn’t have a Mum, but I hope he feels surrounded by love.’

‘Of course he does, he’s lovely Harry, honestly. Such a sweetheart, and he gets that from you’.

‘Thank you’ Harry says, fighting the lump in his throat. It meant a lot to him to hear that. He often felt insecure and a crappy parent for not always being there for every bathtime or new word. It hadn’t been easy, having to see him run to his Mum when he was hurt, or have in jokes with Gemma.

‘I hope Lou doesn’t feel too bad, he didn’t know’.

Niall raises an eyebrow. ‘Oh Lou is it now?’

Harry flushes a bright red. ‘Louis.’

‘I should have known’ Niall sighs dramatically, taking Dory and bouncing her on his knee. ‘You did insist on putting a poster of Becks in the den’

‘I was 12!’ Harry protests. He feels a weight of his shoulders at telling someone. Or even not lying. He just trusts Niall, its instinctive.

‘It was an underwear shoot’ Niall counters. They hear voices and look up to see Louis giving Luke a piggyback.

‘All cool?’ Harry asks. Luke looks ecstatic, but he still wants to check.

‘Very cool’ Luke says, dropping his arm to Louis’s shoulder as Louis fist bumps him.

Luke sulks when it's time to leave, but Louis promises him he will see him soon for his lesson. ‘Bring along your Dad too’ he calls as they got into their cars, ‘I want to improve his technique’.

If Harry daydreams all the way home, it's his business.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

The next morning Harry went for a run whilst Luke attended a craft morning at the local church and bumped into Liam, they exchanged numbers and Liam invited Luke to come and paint with Zayn. They arrived at about 11am and Luke ran inside. Harry figured it's pointless to complain, he is just a ball of energy. Even when he slept he often moved and fell out of bed.

‘These are the primary colours’ Zayn is patiently telling Luke, who looks seconds away from just smearing his hands in the beautiful paint.

‘Cuppa?’ Liam asks Harry and they meander into the backroom.

‘So, Niall said you met Tommo’ Liam begins with a smirk on his face.

‘Why am I not surprised you are gossiping behind my back?’

‘Its a small village’ Liam raises his hands. ‘Everyone knows everything’.

‘He’s teaching Luke piano whilst we’re here, thats all’

Liam looks sceptical as he flicked on the kettle. ‘Niall said there was flirting going on’

‘Can you blame me?’

‘You aren’t the first. We did a Date Auction last Valentines Day and he got over a thousand pounds’.

Harry feels a completely irrational surge of jealousy.

‘He’s worth more than that’ he protests without thinking.

Liam fixes a smug expression on his face and pours out the tea. ‘He is pretty cute, don’t let Zayn kno-’

‘Already heard it’ an echoing voice chimes in.

‘But not like you, you are my dream man babe’ Liam raises his voice, miming ‘Louis has a great bum’ to Harry.

Harry nods furtively in agreement.

‘Lesson time’ screeches Luke. Harry has no idea how Luke knew 3 o’clock has come around so quick, but he doesn't argue. Luke puts t his coat on then dashes next door. Harry’s just about to apologise when Luke’s dark head ducks back round the corner.

‘Thank you for having me Uncle Zayn and Uncle Liam’ he says all in a rush.

Harry chuckles to himself and waves goodbye, feeling the butterflies in his stomach at the thought of seeing Louis again.

Luke pushes open the door and Louis looks up at the bell.

‘My favourite boys’ he grins, ‘come in, want a cuppa curly?’

‘You look nice’ Harry finds himself saying lamely. He had gotten flirting tips from Justin Timberlake himself, and this what he comes up with? Christ.

Louis looks down, his expression bemused. ‘It’s just a vest top’

‘Cool tattoos’ Luke says eagerly, hopping on the piano bench and banging on a key.

‘Whoa there’ Louis leaps up. ‘You’re hurting Kevin’.

‘Kevin?’

‘Kevin. Don’t you know all pianos have names?’

‘I’m sorry. Hi Kevin’.

‘There we go. Now if you look, each key has a letter on it’

As Louis’ patient words drift through the air, Harry wanders throughout the small shop and practice room. He picks up a photo frame. It’s of a wedding, Harry guessed it was of Louis’ Mum as they had matching smiles. It looked like a beautiful Summers’ Day. He had an attempt at picking out Louis’ sisters. He puts down the frame carefully and picks up another one. He laughs at seeing the huddle of boys, a much younger Niall, Liam and Zayn peering back up at him. It’s weird seeing Louis there instead. It makes him wonder how different his life might have been if the cottage had been more than a summer house.

His phone chimes and he looks down. It’s from his label requesting his return for Coachella. He types out a reply, reiterating that, as they had agreed, he wasn’t back until September at the earliest. He knows it wouldn’t go down well, his manager had been keen on getting a duet with Kanye West. Harry likes his music just fine, but he knows he wanted his music to go in a new direction. He had grown up, and he felt the need for his music to do the same.

‘Dad’ Luke calls for him. Harry slips his phone back into his pocket and turns around.

‘Watch me!’ Luke announces as he plays a simple scale.

‘Amazing!’ Harry clapps, ‘you can be in my band’

‘Dad’s a singer’ Luke confides in Louis. ‘He plays all round the world’.

‘I know’ Louis replies, ‘I’m quite the fan myself’.

Luke turns to Harry with a ‘did you hear that’ look of shock on his face. Harry laughs.

‘I think you are a better musician than your Dad’ he hears Louis whisper to Luke as he walked away to find a seat.

‘No’ he hears Luke reply, ‘Dad is the best at everything.’

Harry feels a swell of pride. Maybe he isn’t such a bad Dad after all.

The hour soon passes and it's time for them to go. Predictably, Luke is not keen to leave his new best friend and is pestering him with non-stop questions.

‘Do you like Justin Bieber?’ he asks.

‘No, not so much’

‘Good, I don’t either. Do you like….popcorn?’

‘Yep, I like popcorn’.

‘Do you like going to the park?’

‘Yep, I skateboard there sometimes’.

‘I want to do that like you. Do you like milkshakes?’

‘I love milkshakes. My mum does an amazing chocolate one’.

‘Do you like Taylor Swift?’

Louis made a noise of distaste and Harry bit back a smile.

‘Me too’ Luke said quickly, ‘girls eew’.

‘Girls are very eew’ Louis said, his gaze flickering to Harry.

‘Do you like Lego?’

Now this is the big one. Harry has currently seen The Lego Movie 67 times. Luke’s bed is made from Lego.

‘I love Lego’ Louis says, ‘I have a Spiderman at home made from Lego’

Luke can barely contain his excitement. ‘Will you come and play Lego with me? Dad’s boring, he only wants to build schools and parks’

‘Very boring’ Louis agrees, looking up at Harry, ‘What do you think Haz?’

‘If you’re not busy?’ Harry shrugs, ‘dinner won’t be anything special?’

‘I was planning on a chinese’ Louis says wryly. ‘For the 3rd time this week’

‘You really live the life’ Luke says in wonder.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

Harry is having a minor breakdown in the kitchen. Gemma isn’t making it any better. Even on the phone he can sense her frustration.

‘So, seduce him Harry’ she repeats for the upteenth time.

‘My son is here’ Harry hisses, ‘and I don’t know how to anymore’

‘It's like riding a bike’ Gemma laughs. ‘Never forget, just get on and ride’

‘I don’t want that mental image thanks’ Harry sticks the phone under his chin as he ties his long wavy hair into a bun out of his face. There. Much better.

‘He’s so lovely’ Harry whines. ‘He’s fit and funny and Luke adores him...’

‘And you want his babies’ Gemma finishes.

‘Sort of’ Harry agrees.

Gemma scoffs at his uncertainty. ‘Just ask him out. Get one of your old mates to babysit, light some candles...’

It isn’t that bad an idea. Harry's a good cook; when he isn't hiding out in the kitchen because Louis was sprawled out on the rug and his jumper had ridden up revealing dimples on the base of his spine.

‘I might’ he relents, stirring the pasta and hoping it would taste okay.

‘Go for it, you’re a rock star H’ she cheers, ‘where has that old confidence gone? It can’t have been that long’

Silence falls.

‘It wasn’t...Christ, have you slept with someone since Paul?’ Harry felt awash with shame.

‘I didn’t mean it like that’ Gemma whispers, as if they were in the same room, tucked up under the covers sharing secrets like when they were kids. ‘I just thought, you know, what happens on tour...’

‘Can’t be gay won’t sell records on tour’ Harry says flatly.

‘Bullshit. No one gives a fuck.’

‘The contract runs out this Summer anyway, and its my excuse. I just haven’t found anyone worth it all, worth the long distance, worth introducing Luke to’.

‘Until now’ she hums smugly.

Harry can’t say anything to that, so he just changes the subject. But privately he hopes.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

Harry feels like he’s a moony teenager again, completely unable to look Louis in the eye. Everytime their eyes met he's sure he is blushing. Instead he lets Luke monopolise the conversation, chatting on and on about his favourite tv shows and films.

‘Not hungry eh?’

Harry is jolted out of his thoughts by Louis’ words. He looks up to see Louis looking at him, eyebrow quirked.

‘I guess not’ he says weakly, putting his knife and fork down.

‘You should eat’ Luke tells him, a tad smugly.

‘You should be in bed’ Harry counters, trying to hold in a laugh as Luke puts his plate in the sink and huffs his way upstairs.

‘He won’t brush his teeth now’ Harry comments, looking up the ceiling as he hears the telltale thump of Luke jumping into bed.

‘So, how did Luke come into your life?’ Louis asks, tilting his his wine glass back and forth.  So Harry tells him. His heart is racing, he feels so unsure at telling someone new. He is just so sick of being judged for it, either looking like a naive kid ‘playing house’ or like an angel, with Luke as his charity case.

‘Sounds amazing’ Louis says, pushing back his chair and sticking his feet on Luke’s empty chair. Harry wonders if it's mad to find someone’s ankles attractive.

‘I want to adopt someday’ Louis comments, taking a sip of beer. ‘I will beg you for advice when the time comes’.

‘My Mum helped me a lot’ Harry confesses, ‘it’s a long process, and its not easy’.

‘I guess it shouldn’t be’ Louis says, ‘they want to find good, kind people’.

‘For their forever families’. Harry finds himself parroting the phrase he had seen over and over on the adoption paperworks. But it makes him choke up. He really had given Luke a forever family, sometimes he forget Luke wasn’t always around; when he was throwing a fit in Waitrose or calling Gemma Mum by mistake.

Louis smiles softly. ‘Forever family. I like the sound of that’.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

Harry marvels at his son who is currently attempting a cartwheel down a hill. He hadn’t been like that at his age, he was always reading books, baking with his Mum or at the window, watching the world go by. His Mum always said he was an old soul and he agreed with her. He certainly didn’t have Luke’s manic energy or enthusiasm for everything.

‘Hi’ someone calls in the distance. Harry peers to try to see who it is. He can see two figures, one pushing a pushchair.

‘Louis’ Luke says delightedly, jumping up and running towards them.

The group makes its way over to Harry’s picnic blanket and Harry wills himself not to make a complete idiot of himself over Louis. Yesterday he had tripped over a tuba upon seeing Louis’ eyes crinkle at Luke’s new mastery of a piano scale. Last week he had dialled his number 19 times, hanging up like a stalker whenever he freaked out at what to say when Louis answered.

Louis looks unreal, the sunlight hitting his high cheekbones just so and the way his grey speckled joggers were tucked in his socks is adorable.

‘Hey Harry’ he calls out to him, waving. ‘I thought I saw Luke so I thought I would come and say hi’.

‘Come sit’ Harry beckons them over, smiling at the pretty girl with him. He guesses the baby in the pushchair is Ernie, as he’s wearing a blue knitted hat.

‘This is my sister, Lottie’ Louis explains, undoing Ernie’s harness and carefully putting him on the blanket. Ernie blinks up at Harry suspiciously.

‘Oh god’ Lottie says, hands over her mouth, fingernails a neon pink. ‘You’re! Fuck me’

‘Language’ Louis hisses, throwing a relieved glance over his shoulder at Luke’s interest in chasing a rabbit over the stream.

‘Harry Styles, Hiiiii’ Harry does a dorky wave. Louis rolls his eyes and mutters about how embarrassing he is.

‘I loved your album’ she gushes, taking a spot next to Harry and looking up at him like he’s a mirage. ‘I just saw you in Heat magazine, going into Victoria Beckham’s shop’.

‘Lookalike’ Harry confides in her, ‘throws the paps off me for a bit. And Victoria gets a bit of publicity’.

Lottie looks like she’s barely holding back a squeal. She looks at her brother and mouths ‘Harry Styles’

‘I know Lots’ Louis looks at Harry as if to say ‘this is why I didn’t tell them about you’.

Louis takes a jingling Winnie the Pooh toy and dangles it in front of Ernie, who makes a noise of delight and shuffles forwards to grab it.

It turns out Lottie has a lot of questions about what it’s like to be Harry Styles. Harry tries to listen but he finds himself unable to look away from Louis. He’s a natural with children, Ernie radiates towards him like he’s the sun and Harry tries to remember that he is going back home in a few weeks. Time has passed quickly, much too quickly, and soon he’d be recording again. He dreads the thought of becoming distant to Luke again, a shadowy figure who occasionally made it home for bedtime and existed mainly on a screen.

Harry is just telling everyone a meandering story about a mad fan who had hidden in a bin to get inside his dressing room, when Lottie interrupts him.

‘Oh, you’re like a normal bloke’ she sighs, taking a muffin from Harry’s picnic basket and taking a big gulp. ‘You can have him Louis’ she winked at Louis who flushed scarlet and shushed her.

Not sure if he should be offended, Harry just laughs. He had often been approached by women, and the occasional man who had backed away after realising Harry liked baking, early nights and sewing Halloween costumes for his son. Their year as Hans Solo and Leia had been a particular triumph, and they would have won if Luke had let him be Leia.

‘He’s dead normal’ Luke pipes up, back from pretending to be a dinosaur. ‘He’s on TV sometimes, but he doesn’t look like Dad’.

‘What do I look like then?’

Luke giggles as Ernie blows a spit bubble at him. ‘Like a popstar. But not as good as Olly’.

‘Luke loves Olly Murs’ Harry tells Louis who looks bewildered. ‘They are BFF’s’

Louis lets out a dramatic howl of anguish and collapses onto the blanket. ‘Luke! I thought we were BFFs, you had betrayed me. I’ll be lonely forever’

Luke looks crushed, climbing over Harry’s lap to get to Louis shouting ‘No! No!’ Louis! We are too!’

Louis growls and tackles Luke, tickling him and causing Luke to erupt into giggles. ‘We better be Mister, I get very jealous’.

‘I promise!’ Luke says breathlessly, ‘When can you come over again?’

‘Anytime’ Harry breathes, completely unable to think after witnessing Louis win over his son’s affections. Was their anything about Louis that wasn’t heart attack inducing?

'I guess its time to go' Lottie sighs as her phone beeps, holding out her arms to take Ernie from Harry.

Harry pretends he doesn’t see her waiting arms and continues to bop Ernie on the nose, laughing when Ernie goes cross eyed.

'You won't get him back now' Luke whispers to Louis. 'Gemma says Dad has baby fever. But its weird cause he doesn't have a temperature like I did when I got ill.'

Louis tries to hide his smile.

'I don't have baby fever' Harry grouches, handing Ernie back to Lottie with a huff.

'You made me and Grandma follow that baby round tesco' Luke continues, clinging to Louis' arm and furrowing his brow trying to remember. 'It was crying and you said you could help. But the lady tried to kiss you and you told Grandma ladies were gross'.

Lottie and Louis burst into laughter, and Luke looks delighted.

'Hush you' Harry feels his face flood with colour. 'Telling all my secrets'

'I didn't tell about how you like being naked all the time !' Luke protests, letting go of Louis and running over to jump into Harry's arms.

Harry closes his eyes.

'What?' Louis questions, 'don't hold out on us here Haz'.

Ignoring the thump of his heart at the pet name, Harry jumps up and offered Luke a piggyback home. It only works to distract him as far as the stile, where Luke asks again when Louis can come and watch Wreck it Ralph with him.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

'Dadddd' Luke comes skidding in on the hardwood floor in his socks. He frowns and decides to try screaming. Luckily, Harry catches him mid build-up, mouth agape.

'Yes?'

Luke bounds over, the paintings in his hands fluttering to the floor. 'It was so fun Dad! Louis has a Mum and a Step Dad and two sisters, Lottie we know and another one, like old but not like you old. And he has the babies, you know them already and he also has two other sisters who are okay for girls'. Luke pauses for a huge gulp of air then continues, 'and they have a rabbit called Miffy and Daisy has a stick insect, which I couldn't even see! Louis played football with me and his Mum made us cookies – see!'

Harry watches as Luke carefully takes two slightly sticky cookies from his back pocket and hands one over. 'Thanks pal' he says, biting into one. 'So you had fun then?'

Luke nods so vigorously Harry wonders if he's had a few too many cookies already. 'I want to go every day!' he announces before tearing off to stick his paintings on the fridge.

Harry had a business meeting over Skype, horrifically dull and as he predicted, long as fuck, and Louis had offered to take Luke over to his Mum’s house to meet everyone. Luke hadn’t needed much persuasion.

Harry made them a simple pasta dinner and listened to Luke recount every single detail of his day. Although Harry loved hearing Luke chat on and on, his eyes lighting up and his arms nearly upsetting his drink; it made him feel guilty. When Harry was at work or on tour Luke stayed with his Mum, and even though he knew they adored one another, it seemed like Luke had loved being around a fun family full of kids and excitement. He signs and wonders if it would be easier once Luke started school in September. It was a very exclusive school, in Cheshire. Gemma had teased him endlessly for being a rich wanker, but Harry had figured it would be easier for them both. His Mum could pick him up if Harry was away and he could meet new friends. But after hearing about Louis' sisters school trips to the farm, picnics and friendly headteacher who knew every child by name – he felt like a snob; sacrificing a normal childhood for a one full of expectation.

‘C’here Luke’ Harry says, sitting down on the old wooden steps and holding his arms out. Luke dashes over and climbs on his lap, his head tucked right under Harry’s chin like when he was a baby.

‘Do you wish you had a brother or a sister too?’ he asks quietly, stroking back his fringe.

Luke is quiet for a moment.

‘I won’t be angry’ Harry reminds him, ‘just curious’.

‘What does that mean?’

‘It means I’m nosy’ Harry smiles.

‘Oh. I’m very curious’ Luke says. ‘I think I would like someone to play with, like when we’re at home and it's just grown ups. Grandma likes a lot of boring tv shows’.

Harry hums.

‘So maybe a sister’ Luke says, ‘because then she would have her own toys’.

Harry rolls his eyes, unseen.

‘But I play with pink toys, so I don’t mind’ Luke muses. ‘I like Lux’

‘Lux is super cool’ Harry agrees. ‘So maybe sometime in the future...’

Luke nods. ‘Or another Dad or Mum or a Guinea pig’ he concludes. ‘I’m not a fusspot’.

Harry still hasn’t stopped laughing by the time Luke was happily curled up with his Elmer toy watching TV.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

‘A fair’ Harry murmurs sceptically, looking at the flyer.

‘It looks fun’ Luke points to the helter skelter.

‘But it's only on for one day, and you are seeing Uncle Zayn that day. You’re painting their dog, remember?’

‘Checking out the fair?’ asks a voice behind them.

Harry jumps, ‘sorry’ Louis laughs, patting Harry’s shoulder. ‘You could never describe me as the strong silent type’.

‘I would say loud, loud, loud!’ Harry exclaims. Louis’ face falls, but before Harry can say anything else Luke leaps up, fingertips just brushing the flyer on the window.

‘Louis, Dad should go to the fair - right? And he can buy me a piglet’.

Louis nods sagely. ‘Naturally, Luke. I will be there myself, supervising my siblings and trying to stop them eating their weight in candy floss’.

‘Imagine a piglet of candy floss’ Luke ponders aloud.

‘So I can tag along with you guys then?’ Harry says cheekily.

Louis smirks, ‘If you think you’re up to the job. You better sort out your look though, love’.

Harry looks down at himself and pouts. ‘I look good’ he protests.

‘Of course’ Louis scoffs. Harry melts. ‘I mean, you’re have half the country chasing you for  curly locks and hipster fashion.’

Luke squeals, clapping his hands. ‘You need a disguise Dad! I can help. I’m really, really good at disguises.’

‘I’ll see what the lads can dig up too’ Louis offers, ‘and pick you up? About 11ish?’

Harry agrees and they set off for home, Luke still thinking about a fake moustache. But all Harry can think about was Louis calling him love.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

‘Its certainly interesting’ Louis tries to hold back a smirk but Harry still frowns. His beard is itchy, but it’s kinda cool to see what he looks like with a beard. Not too hot it seems.

‘I bet it's itchy’ Louis guesses, drawing his denim jacket closer around him as the wind picks up.

‘No’ Harry lies, desperately trying not to itch.

‘Hmm... Luke about?’

‘He left for Zayn and Liam already’.

Louis looks disappointed. ‘Oh okay’.

‘I’m starting to think you like my son better than me’ Harry sniffs petulantly, glancing at Louis out of the corner of his eye. Really, he’s only half joking.

‘Of course not angel’ Louis murmurs, tugging at his beard. ‘You’re my favourite’.

They arrive at the fair and Harry is stunned to see such a crowd, hundreds of people laughing and chatting and looking at the stalls and the main event field. He can see some sort of sheepdog trial happening and kids are cheering them on, or trying to devour their ice creams.

‘So many kids’ he says, looking at their cheerful faces. Maybe he can bring Luke one year.

‘Its the country’ Louis shrugs, popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth. Harry looks at him quizzically.

‘What else is there to do?’ Louis quips with a wink. Harry flushes.

‘Shut up and buy me a coffee.’

A couple of girls have given him a second look, but it seems the disguise has worked as they have been left alone, only Louis receiving a few friendly nods. Clearly the beard, big glasses and geeky bow tie put off people from looking more closely. Louis’ sisters have long abandoned them, after pocketing a hefty sum from their big brother’s wallet with a wink and a kiss.

‘I can’t believe they still have Trixie’ Louis says in awe, pointing at the Shetland pony dutifully taking children for rides around a small paddock. ‘I remember Lottie being on her’.

Harry feels his heart skip a beat at the soft and gentle expression on Louis’ face.

‘And she was so scared, clutching on and trying not to cry. Fizzy didn’t want a go, she was making a bracelet or something with Freddie-’ Louis suddenly stops talking.

‘Freddie is your...’

‘Ex’ Louis supplies quietly.

‘What happened?’ Harry asks curiously. Then he winces. ‘You don’t, like, have to tell me anything. I’m really nosy. Gemma always says I’m a nosy nellie, and Luke always investigating something. The other day he found this old book and was convinced it was a map-’

Louis rests his hand over the top of Harry’s, and Harry falls silent.

‘Nothing dramatic’ Louis tuts at himself, ‘I sound like a twat already. We met at Uni, stayed friends. Then we sort of did long distance for a while.’

‘Thats hard.’

‘You should know, with you travelling so much.’

Harry feels like telling him that he doesn’t know. He has had one relationship that had ended after about a month. They hadn’t even slept together properly. But he doesn't feel like interrupting, or embarrassing himself so he stays quiet.

‘And without being around our friends, or getting to see each other - all the cracks started to show’ Louis continues, curling his smaller hand around Harry’s so they are linked properly.

‘And he started to voice his opinions on me, I was too bossy, talked too much, wanted too much, was too loud’ Louis makes a face. Harry recalls calling Louis loud and immediately feels terrible.

‘I like you loud’ he winks. ‘And bossy.’

Louis smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. It’s like the sun coming out.

‘Thats what Zayn said’ he laughs. ‘And so we finally had a last attempt at staying together, a holiday. He came back with a waiter’s number and I had finally accepted that it was over’.

‘Thats terrible’ Harry feels so angry at the faceless man. How dare he do that to Louis?

‘I know, the waiter was clearly married’ Louis teases, tilting his head and grinning.

Harry guffaws embarrassingly.

‘Anyway, enough of my boring love life’ Louis says, standing up and still clutching Harry’s hand. ‘I can see a hot dog with my name on it’.

Harry swings their hands as they made their way to the stall and feels like singing.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

‘Daaaadddd’ Luke screams as he came running in from the garden. Harry drops his tray of brownies on the floor and feels the breath leave his body. Luke is covered in mud, his hands scratched and red and a huge, bleeding gash on his forehead.

‘Sweetheart, breathe for me’ Harry says, crouching down and holding him close. ‘I’ll fix it, don’t worry’.

Luke heaves a giant sob and keeps crying, ‘It hurts, hurts’.

‘Okay’ Harry says, cursing his lack of foresight. He should keep a first aid kit somewhere in the cottage. Maybe Niall can help? Then he remembers Louis saying his Mum was a nurse.

‘Can I just call someone to help?’ Harry asks, holding Luke under one arm as he sidles along the cabinet to find a clean cloth and some water. ‘Let me get this mud off, then we can make you feel better’.

Luke hiccups as tears streams down his face. ‘Louis?’ he checks hopefully.

‘His Mum’ Harry pats away the mud and winces as blood oozes from his cuts.

‘Okay, she’s nice’ Luke sniffs.

Harry quickly calls Louis’ Mum, after a text to Louis for the number, apologising for inconveniencing her. She tells him to hush and says she’s leaving straight away.

Harry washes all the mud away and seats Luke on the couch and distracts him with The Lion King. He watches anxiously as the minutes tick by, blaming himself for not watching Luke.

‘Hi I’m Jay’ Jay introduces herself as Harry opened the door. ‘Not so nice to meet like this, but good to meet all the same. Louis talks about you constantly.’

‘Really?’ Harry breathes, then shakes himself. ‘Luke is through here’ he gestures, guiding her along the hallway.

‘Hey darling’ Jay cooes, sitting down next to Luke who looks up at her with a brave smile.

‘You’ve been very tough’ she praises, taking out her first aid kit and spraying disinfectant on his hands. He flinches and bites his lip and Harry rushes over to sit with them, taking Luke’s hand.

‘This is the first step’ Jay smiles, ‘making sure it's all good and clean’.

‘Where’s Louis?’ Luke asks. ‘And the babies?’

‘Louis is at his house’ she explains, clearly glad for the distraction as she clears a small stone from his palms. ‘But I called him on the way so I expect he’s rushing here as we speak’ Luke looks at Harry proudly. ‘And all of my babies are at my house, either watching TV or napping’.

Luke nods thoughtfully and turns back to watch Simba jump in the waterhole, content to let Jay work her magic.

Jay wraps a bandage around Luke’s forehead after cleaning the gash.

‘Won’t need a stitch’ she says, Harry breathes a sigh of relief. ‘He’s lucky, after a good rest he’ll be back to normal.’

The doorbell chimes and Harry leaps up. ‘I’ll...um get it’ he offers, very casually strolling to the door. He pretends he can’t hear a huff of laughter behind him.

‘How’s Luke?’ Louis asks all in a rush, kicking off his shoes and brushing Harry aside.

‘He’s good, thanks to your Mum’ Harry shouts after him, as he follows him into the living room. Luke’s tucked into Jay’s side, telling her about Timon and Pumba.

‘Louis!’ Luke cheers upon seeing him. ‘I hurt myself, on the fence. But then Daddy cleaned me up and your Mum helped me. She is really, really nice. I like her as much as Dory and Ernie, but not as much as you, or Daddy. Daddy is my best ever’.

Harry feels a lump in his throat at seeing Louis’ face, he’s completely focused on Luke’s meandering explanation, crouching down in front of him. It’s like nothing else matters.

‘I agree’ Louis hums. ‘And me Mum is okay.’

Jay swats Louis’ head. ‘Cheeky, I’m amazing’. She stands up and warns, ‘you need to watch this one Harry’.

‘I am’ Harry chews on the side of his thumb. ‘And thanks Jay, you were a lifesaver.’

‘Anytime’ she shrugs, ‘I better get back, it's bedtime I think’.

Harry nodded, ‘For you too Luke’.

Luke whimpers pitifully, reaching up to point to his bandage.

‘That won’t work bud’ Louis says, ‘you need a your warm bed and maybe a story if you’re lucky’.

‘Can you tell me one?’ Luke asks, his big eyes making Harry laugh. Louis doesn’t have a chance.

Louis looks at Harry.

‘Only if you want to, ‘i’m sure we bother you quite enough’.

‘I was only watching Corrie’ Louis rebuffs, ‘you two are important.’

‘I am very important’ Luke sighs grandly, wrapping his blanket around him and slowly making his way to his bedroom, ‘I would like you tell me about you being in that play about Birds who drink Tea’.

Harry looks at Louis, completely baffled. Louis suddenly laughs, ‘Oh t-birds’ he explains, ‘Lottie must have showed him Grease’.

Harry decides he would also like to hear this particular bedtime story and despite Luke falling asleep halfway through, they stay up half the night talking. Louis talks about how rough his parents divorce was, Harry echoes his own bad memories. Harry shares how Luke had come into his life and Louis just listens to him. He doesn’t hurry him along, or fiddle on his phone or yawn as Harry’s finally gets to a point, he just listens.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

Harry presses end call on his phone with a long, drawn out breath. His manager was frantic, saying that he had heard rumours that Harry’s location was out. Harry feels like a hunted animal, even when he had taken Luke to Australia as a toddler for a break they had been found on a private island. Their sanctuary had been destroyed and he had never quite forgotten the feeling.

He had known that the summer wasn’t going to last forever. Autumn was on its way, with huge changes. Luke would be at school and Harry would be recording his album in LA or London, miles away from his son. Despite all the facts he felt an ache in his chest, and almost tearful. He felt like had just discovered a whole new side to himself, a relaxed Dad who didn’t dash in and out for quick hellos and goodbyes. He had fallen in love with his son again and couldn’t bear the idea of not being around to pack his lunch, or see his class assembly.

He doesn’t know what to do. So he leaves Luke with Liam and Zayn, who promise him

the original Batman cartoons on their new tv, and goes to see Niall.

To Harry’s embarrassment he catches Niall just out of the shower. His hair is dripping wet and a tiny towel covers what is left of his modesty.

‘I look hot right?’ Niall teases mischievously, before excusing himself to find some clothes.

‘Umm sure’ Harry says to the empty porch, closing the front door behind him and walking through to the large, airy kitchen. A few pots bubbled away and the radio was on at a low hum. Harry had missed cooking so much. On tour he usually got a boxed salad or some kind of take away if he was lucky. Being at the cottage he had been able to cook for Luke and it had been really fun teaching him the basics, and how to make. They had even tried teaching Louis, but he was pretty hopeless. He prefered being perched on the counter, adding commentary and whistling whenever Harry bent over to check the oven.

‘What’s up then mate?’ Niall asks, his hair fluffy and damp.

‘I hope you don’t mind-’

‘Fuck off Harry. You know i’m here for you. Once in the gang, always in the gang. Now do you want to shy away from the topic, or just straight out tell me you’re in love with Louis’.

Harry wants to sink into the ground, or blush like a romantic comedy heroine, stuttering ‘oh my’ but instead he just nods. No point in pretending anymore.

‘Right. So that’s sorted’ Niall flicks the kettle on and crosses his legs. ‘You can have the farm for the reception. I’ve got a big marquee somewhere. Mum will be happy to make a bridesmaid dress for Tommo’s girls and Luke can wear one of my old suits.’

Harry tries not to think about Louis in a suit, waiting for him at the top of an aisle.

‘Its not that easy’ Harry dithered.

‘It can be’ Niall winks, flashing his right hand. Harry gasps. ‘I didn’t know you were married!’

‘If you ever looked away from Louis’ bum you might realise a few things’.

Harry just watches quietly as Niall fixes them their tea. They settle down in the den, comfy blankets making Harry feel sleepy.

‘She’s a Victoria Secret model’ Niall explains.

Harry scoffs. As fucking if.

‘She actually is’ Niall smiles smugly, unlocking his phone and showing off his background. It was of a beautiful woman, wearing a stunning wedding dress. Niall looked like the proudest man alive.

‘Wow’ Harry gasps. ‘Christ, Niall’.

‘I am insanely lucky’ Niall shrugs. ‘She’s away a lot, so we have to rely on a lot of texts. She loves coming here though, it's like a proper break from all the pressure and stress’.

‘I can imagine’ Harry sighs, wincing at the thought of going back to countless parties and dull industry events.

‘It can work, being long distance’ Niall suddenly says, looking at Harry intently. ‘Or you can compromise, some people become pop stars for a while then take a break...some people can work anywhere. Like music teachers!’

Harry rolls his eyes. Very subtle Niall.

‘I’m just saying’ Niall pats his shoulder. ‘Don’t give on something just because its hard. Think about what you’re willing to compromise on.’

‘I can compromise’ Harry protests, ‘I gave up a lot for Luke’.

‘Did you give up everything for you though?’

‘No, I get to sing, and perform the songs I love. Its amazing’ Harry feels selfish for even suggesting he’s hard done by.

‘Thats Harry Styles the musician, he got what he wanted’ Niall comments gently, ‘what about Hazza?’

Harry inwardly smiles at his childhood nickname. ‘He wanted to be happy and ...to be able to sing and have a big family’.

‘Whats stopping you then?’ asks Niall.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

Harry watches as Luke adjusts the wooden board with a critical eye. ‘Its done’ he announces with all the majesty of a master builder. To Harry it’s a wooden board over his slide making a sort of ramshackle den.

‘Boys time’ he declares, dragging Harry underneath.

It’s damp on the ground and Harry swears he saw a spider dart out from behind the stairs but he tries to focus on indulging his son.

‘What do boys talk about?’ Luke seems at a loss.

‘Girls? Sports?’

‘You don’t talk about either of those things’

Harry shrugs. ‘I am not your typical man’

‘You are extra special’ Luke agrees, ‘you are a popstar’.

‘Thats just my job’

‘I know, you are my Dad too, and Grandma’s little boy and Gemma’s pain in the butt’

Harry pokes Luke and he giggles, shying away from further pokes.

‘I am always your Dad, first and foremost. Being a popstar is just for fun’.

Luke looks relieved to hear this, Harry reaches out and holds him close.

‘What do you want to do this Autumn?’ he asks, realising with guilt that he hadn’t even thought to ask his opinion.

‘I want to see Grandma and Auntie Gem, but also stay here with Louis and Uncle Niall and Zayn and Liam and the babies and Niall’s ducklings’.

‘Maybe we should think about doing something new, starting a new adventure’ Harry hums, ‘instead of you going to school in London’.

‘I won’t know anyone there’ Luke agrees, ‘Here I would know lots’.

‘I promise we’ll think about it more’ Harry promises him.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

‘Louis thinks you are very lovely but very shy’ Luke discloses on a sunny Thursday morning, pulling his covers over his head and refusing to get out of bed.

‘Luke - what?’ Harry asks, half asleep himself. He was due a run with Liam whilst Luke had his music lesson with Louis.

‘But you aren’t shy really’ Luke says, sticking his head out, hair a mess.

‘Very lovely?’ Harry squeaks.

‘Girls scream when they see you’ Luke says hopefully, ‘they must like you, right Dad?’

Harry feels like screaming himself.

‘How did you-?’

‘I heard Louis tell Barbara in the Bakers’ Luke informs him.

‘But how-’

‘You were chatting to Uncle Grimmy on the phone, I heard them though’ Luke says, yawning. ‘You need to pay attention Mister’.

Harry can’t believe someone so small could have so much cheek. ‘You are late for your piano lesson Luke, get up please’.

Luke gets up very sulkily, draping his blanket over his shoulder and marching down the stairs, demanding bacon sandwiches.

‘You two are late, typical celeb’ Louis tuts as he opens the rickety shop door to greet them. Luke hugs him tight around his waist.

‘I’m sorry’ he pleads.

‘Never your fault, Luke’ Louis tells him, fixing Harry with a cheeky glare. ‘Your naughty Dad needs to stop dawdling - right?’

‘I was up at 6am’ Harry informs him. ‘Yoga and a smoothie’

‘I better not tell you my version then’ Louis says, closing the door behind them and walking through to the practice room.

‘A mars bar?’ Luke guesses.

‘Worse, i’m afraid’.

‘You should have a sleepover’ Luke suggests. We can tell ghost stories and then Dad can cook us breakfast!’

Harry has a rather different image of a sleepover with Louis.

‘Maybe someday’ Louis hums, taking Luke’s hand and leading him to the bench. ‘Can you practice by yourself for a sec? I want to talk to your Dad’. Luke goes skipping off and Louis gestures towards the main shop.

‘I’m going to pay you next week’ Harry hurriedly apologises, perching himself on the window. ‘I’m not being shady or anything, I honestly don’t have cash yet, and the cashpoint the other day stole my card.’

Louis laughs, holding up his arms, ‘Okay Harry, I wasn’t going to try a citizen's arrest. I was just going to ask you’ Louis looks anxious, biting his lip. ‘Umm’

‘You sound like me’ Harry notes.  

‘I’m going to get these words out this century, so no Harold’.

Harry clears his throat pointedly.

‘Anyway’ Louis says, wincing as Luke thumps particularly hard on a key. ‘I wanted to ask you to dinner’.

‘So Luke can help you build that new Lego airport?’ Harry figures, kicking his legs off the floor and revising dinner plans. Maybe some sort of macaroni cheese. Louis’ kitchen is a bit of a hazard though. Maybe he could bring everything already done?

‘No’ Louis murmurs, brushing his fringe out of his eyes. ‘I meant us, just us’.

‘You and me?’ Harry repeats dumbly.

‘Me and you’

‘Like a...’

‘Like a stuffy business dinner, what do you think Haz?’ Louis shakes his head fondly. Harry could kick himself.

‘Like a date’ Harry feels himself grow warm. Surely this couldn’t be happening.

‘I didn’t know if you...y’know saw me that way’ Louis continues, looking down at the floor and kicking a upturned floorboard.

‘I do - see you that way, that is’

‘8 then? I may have already asked my mum to babysit’.

Harry feels like his heart could burst. Louis has clearly really thought about this. Usually when he’s asked out it was by a complete stranger, or by someone clearly after just a quick fuck. To have someone care this much for him to come, it really touches him. They just smile at each other stupidly before Luke whines that he’s lonely and so Louis shuffles back to attend to his lesson and Harry stays by the window, just staring out to disguise his grin.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

‘Dad, you are very dressed up’ Luke says suspiciously. ‘You better not be sneaking back to London.’

‘I wouldn’t leave you, ever, Luke’ Harry says, running a hand through his hair and making a face in the mirror. Hair down or up?

‘Bun’ Luke sing-songs, pausing from his colouring on Harry’s bed.

‘I think so too bud’ Harry twists to try to find a hair tie in his messy bedside drawer. He sees the packet of condoms and lube with a smiley face post-it lying there and blushes. Why he allowed Niall into his house he would never know. He knew he was suspiciously long in the bathroom that afternoon.

‘So are you going out just with Louis?’ Luke asks curiously.

‘Yep, just me and him’

Luke had not taken being left out very well, but after a short tantrum and the promise of seeing Louis’ family, he’d soon recovered. The whole afternoon he had talked of nothing else. Jay had even become Grandma Jay. Harry didn’t have the heart to correct him.

‘Will you kiss him?’ Luke’s voice is soft, cautious.

Harry freezes. He wasn’t sure what to say.

‘I would like to’ he answers honestly.

‘Daddy loves Louis’ Luke sings, jumping on the bed and bouncing up and down.

‘Hush!’ Harry laughs, trying to tug him down. Luke squeals and kicks his hand away.

‘But I want to kiss you more’ he threatens, puckering his lips and diving on the bed too. Luke screams in delight, giggling as Harry lifts his tshirt and blows raspberries on his tummy.

‘Time out’ Luke puffs out, waving his arms about. ‘I am going to have an accident soon Dad’. Harry hastily lets him go and he scrambles his way out of bed and shuffles off to the loo.

‘Wow, you look gorgeous’ Louis says as Harry opened the door to him. Harry blushes all the way down to his pigeon-toed feet. ‘I don’t think you’ve quite done your buttons up though’ he teases, stroking the sliver of skin at his collarbone. Harry fights the urge shove Louis up against the wall.

‘Its all a ruse’ Harry raises an eyebrow and flutters his lashes.

‘Its working’

‘Louis you look very smart’ Luke says approvingly, darting between them. ‘I want a jacket like that too’

‘Thank you Luke, feel free to borrow it anytime’ Louis offers breezily, presenting him with a yellow flower. Luke beams and runs off to put it in a vase. Knowing Luke, maybe just his Ben 10 tumbler.

‘These are for you’ Louis says, presenting Harry with a bouquet of daisies.

‘No one has ever gotten me flowers before’ Harry says in awe.

‘Idiots, the lot of them. Are you ready? Mum said she’s saving the ice cream sundaes till Luke is there. The girls are pretty impatient.’

Harry finds it hard to look away from him. Louis just looks so handsome and masculine in his dark jeans, tuxedo jacket and pushed back hair. He just wants to drop to his knees and worship him.

‘I’m ready’ Luke calls, dragging Harry back into reality. He pats his blanket and backpack. ‘I want to see the babies and eat chocolate ice cream’.

‘That can be achieved’ Louis salutes Luke who fist pumps the air.

It wasn’t long before Luke’s dropped off, scrambling towards Jay without barely a wave for his Dad.

‘I’m not sure if I should be offended’ Harry says wryly.

‘Me too’ Louis says wryly, as he reversed the car out of the lane and squinted to read the signposts. ‘She never looks that happy to see me’.

Harry giggles, then slaps a hand over his mouth.

‘Rock stars giggle eh? I could sell that to Heat Magazine for about ten grand’ Louis muses, indicating he was turning right past the main gate.

‘Please don’t, I have a super cool rep to maintain’ Harry mock-pleads.

Louis looks at his Peppa Pig plaster on his thumb with a raised eyebrow.

‘Peppa Pig is so hot right now’ Harry assures him. ‘You are so basic Lou’.

Louis just sighs, but Harry can see him trying to hold back a smile.

The restaurant Louis had picked for them is pretty, fairy lights hang in the window and he can hear music from inside. Louis politely holds the door open for him and gave his name for the reservation. They are led to their booth by their waiter, a girl who valiantly tries to hide her double take upon seeing Harry.

‘Subtle’ Louis teases as she scuttles away.

‘Shush, be nice’.

‘I was being nice’ Louis laughs, ‘but you can’t see how hard she’s glaring at me right now’.

Harry chances a look and only sees her face go from murderous rage to pouty. Perhaps Louis has a point.

‘Teen crushes’ he sighs, checking out the menu.

‘I can understand. If I was her age and had seen Becks on a date, I would have poisoned their food’. Louis shrugs as Harry looks on aghast.

‘I had a lot of posters’ Louis explains.

Dinner seems to breeze by, with Harry sharing stories of Luke growing up and Louis talking about matchmaking for Liam and Zayn.

‘I feel like sulking’ Harry says, swirling his spaghetti round his fork. ‘I laid the groundwork for that relationship’.

‘You saw them cute and innocent. I had to see’ Louis lets out a shudder, ‘more grown up activities’.

‘Luke better stay cute and innocent forever’ Harry wishes fervently. Then he shakes himself, placing a hand over his mouth, ‘sorry, I keep going on about Luke, I must be such a boring date’.

‘No-’ Louis grabs Harry’s hand and tugs it away from his mouth. ‘I like to hear about him. And you could never be boring’.

‘Oh’ Louis’ hand is so small and soft Harry just wants to hold it forever, or bring it to his lips. He feels his whole body relax. He feels so safe.

Louis goes back to eating his steak, but now with only one hand. He frowns as he tries to cut off a piece of meat. Harry holds in his laughter and attempts to let his hand go but Louis holds on tightly and glares at him, brow furrowing adorably. ‘No, I made my choice. I chose your hand’. Harry beams and shuffles his chair over, using his spare knife to cut his steak into smaller pieces.

‘There we go’ he says mischievously, ‘all set’.

Louis opens his mouth expectantly with a cheeky wink. Harry gulps, but indulges him.

‘Are you quite finished?’ the waitress intones, popping up as if from nowhere.

Louis closes his mouth with a snap, chewing his steak obnoxiously. Harry tries his pop star charm on her, and she thaws slightly.

‘Mr Styles, would you like to try our cheesecake?’ she asks hopefully.

Harry looks at Louis, eyebrow raised.  ‘I’m more a chocolate cake man’ his date says, tilting his head. ‘but you go ahead Haz’.

The girl looks torn between continuing her pursuit of Harry or fangirling over him being called Haz.

‘Chocolate cake, but two spoons please’ he decides. The girl flounces off. You can’t win ‘em all.

‘I don’t share’ Louis leans back and props his arm on the top of the booth. Harry wants desperately to creep underneath it. Make a place for himself. If only he was braver.

‘Desserts or dates?’ Harry asks.

‘Both, love’

‘I might want some cake too, what will I have to do?’

Louis chuckles at his wide eyes and breathy tone. ‘I think you’re already doing it’.

Harry grins and scoots himself under Louis’ arm after all.

‘Since Luke is sleeping over at Mum’s, did you...want a coffee?’ Louis asks hesitantly. Harry doesn’t know what to say, what Louis expects of him. He just knows he doesn’t want to say goodnight just yet.

‘Sure’ he tries to sound confident. Louis looks at him.

‘Whatever you’re comfortable with Harry, come and meet my dog?’

Harry eagerly hops out of the car, walking a tad unsteadily thanks to the wine they had with dinner. Louis opens the door of the music shop and leads him up the stairs.

Louis’ flat is small but so cosy. Photographs line the walls, his family and friends smiling out of the frames. Football jerseys litter the floor and a small piano is placed under the window.

A scuffling noise draws Harry’s attention as a golden cockapoo bounds in through the hallway to the right.

‘Bruce is a little friendly’ Louis says needlessly as the dog wags its tail and sits at Harry’s feet to be petted. Harry happily gets to his knees and ends up rolling on the floor with Bruce, letting out peals of laughter as Bruce licks his face.

‘I’m getting jealous now’ Louis warns, lifting up Bruce, and with a kiss to his head, places him away in the kitchen area.

Harry takes his coat off, draping it over Louis’ sofa. He suddenly feels very out of his death, should he just sit down offer to help with drinks? What happens now?

‘Take a seat Haz’ Louis spares Harry from his fussing. ‘I’ll just stick the kettle on’.

Harry sinks down on the sofa, stroking the soft cotton tassels of the cushion. The room is homey and lived in. Harry’s Mum’s house, which he still thought of as home really, was like that. You walked in and just felt your whole body relax. His flats in London and Manchester didn’t really have the same feel, they weren’t homes at all. Luke had all his things at his Grandma’s house and he didn’t like the flats. They were cold and impersonal and like living in a hotel, it had been so long since they had stayed at the London one it was still full of baby proofing.

‘You look completely lost’ Louis murmurs, jolting Harry out of his thoughts.

‘Sorry’ he takes his mug gratefully, wrapping his fingers around it. He takes a sip. Perfect.

He glances up and sees Louis staring intently at his face, his face softer in the dimmed light.

‘What?’ he whispers, feeling self conscious.

‘Why are you here with me?’ Louis asks, putting down his mug and biting the corner of his lip.

Harry’s heart sinks.

‘I mean, you could be anywhere. You could be living it up in Hollywood with Cara Delevingne, partying with Rihanna or modelling with bloody David Gandy as the face of Burberry...’ Louis tails off and just sighs, pushing back his hair with the palm of his hand.

‘They don’t look at me like you do’ Harry says softly.

Harry doesn’t have any time to tell Louis how he feels before Louis leans in and presses their mouths together. It isn’t like fireworks or angels singing. It’s like sinking into slumber, Louis’ beautiful soft mouth kissing him and his strong body pressing up against him. He closes his eyes tightly and responds, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist.

‘Christ Harry’ Louis breathes, ‘how am I supposed to think after that?’

Harry laughs, filling the happiness just pour out of him as he leans in again. Louis’ tongue caresses his own at the same time as his hand palms over Harry’s jeans. Harry feels himself stir and suddenly worries about where this night will end up.

Harry’s heart leaps as the panic kicks in. ‘I’ve got to-’ he stammers, getting up and avoiding looking at Louis, ‘um, go now’ he quickly picks up his boots and makes for the door.

‘Harry, what’s the matter, did I...i’m sorry’ Louis apologises, jumping to his feet and sounding so confused; but Harry feels embarrassed and silly so he just ducks his head and escapes. On the way home he lets the tears fall down his cheeks.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

‘My jeans don’t fit’.

There is a pause on the line as Zayn tries to think of a response.

‘Buy a new pair?’ he suggests lamely.

‘I can’t’ Harry whines, ‘I refuse to buy a new size. Its your fault. You didn’t tell me your Mum’s recipes has that many calories. Liam bakes bread for me everytime you have a new project and he gets bored and Niall delivers me whole milk every morning’.

‘I can’t help my metabolism’

‘Luke poked my bum today and called me Nicki Pajama. I can only imagine he meant Nicki Minaj. Do you see my problem?’

All Harry hears is a clatter on the end of the line.

‘Its me, Liam’ Liam says pointlessly. ‘Zayn said you had something very important to talk about and I was the only one you trusted?’

‘I’ve put on weight’ Harry whispers. ‘And it's the country’s fault. In the city no-one eats. They might eat secretly at night, but not out in the open like here!’

‘I am your friend’ Liam begins, ‘but you are being a diva. Toughen up and buy some new jeans’.

The phone line crackles for a moment, and Harry holds it away from his ear. He shakes it then listens again.

‘Its me again’ Zayn sounds petulant. ‘Stop avoiding the issue. Talk to Louis’.

The line goes dead and Harry is left sulking. He still hasn’t gotten over last night and everytime he thought about it his stomach rolled with anxiety. Louis must think he was a childish boy, getting worried about having sex. He must have told everyone. He should have been dragging Louis to his bedroom, like he wanted, instead of letting his inexperience freak him out. Louis had tried to call him as Harry was driving home but he hadn’t answered, not having any idea what to say. Since then, he hadn’t texted or called again and Harry was finding the unusual silence between them deafening. Perhaps Louis had decided Harry just wasn’t worth all the bother.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

It isn’t easy to pack Luke’s things with him darting round the corner and plucking it out and sulking.

‘Luke’ Harry chastises for the thousandth time.

‘I don’t want to go back to Grandma’s’ Luke picks up his Fireman Sam toy and hides it behind his back.

‘I told you Luke, this was just for the Summer. We have to go back to our real lives. I’m recording in October and you are starting school’.

‘I like it here’ Luke kicks his feet against the bedpost. Harry stops him with a glare.

‘I am...I feel-’ Luke struggles to find the right words. Then he huffs, tears evident in his eyes and runs off.

Harry motions to go after him, but instead just rests his head against the wall with a thud. There is no point, he can’t move their whole lives to the country! He has albums to write, contracts to fulfill. There is talk of a tour after Christmas. It had been an amazing summer, but it has to come to an end. Harry keeps folding plaid shirt after plaid shirt. When he came to his a fuzzy beard and bow tie he feels a lump in his throat. That day at the fair. Louis.

They have a last dinner together, with Niall, Zayn and Liam. Harry didn’t have the courage to ask Louis after his silence, despite Luke’s hopeful face when the doorbell rang. It was just the paperboy delivering the evening news.

They talk about all the fun things they had done and Harry had invited them over to stay sometime in the Spring. He realised how few true friends he really, only Ed, his agent and his family had called him over the break. Other people had only thought to send the odd tweet or tag on instagram. It made him question how glamourous and exciting his life really was.

The doorbell chimes again. Luke nearly falls out of his booster seat to get it.

‘It’ll be Alice dropping off the papers’ Harry tells Zayn. Niall and Liam are still arguing over what to stick on Netflix. Harry hasn’t yet told them that steady wireless wasn’t easy to come by.

‘Papers?’ Zayn asks.

‘Yeah, i’m buying this place’ he looks round with a smile, ‘I didn’t want someone else to take it. So we might come back - sometime’.

There’s a giggle coming from the passageway and all the men turn to look. Louis is leaning against the doorframe, looking embarrassed.

‘Oh, I didn’t know-’

‘We’re off’ Liam and Zayn say in unison, making frantic signals at Niall who just looks bemused.

‘You too Uncle Niall’ Luke says, helpfully pushing him out of the kitchen. ‘See you soon, bye-bye’.

Harry rolls his eyes. ‘Subtle’ he mutters, feeling like he can’t even look at Louis now.

Luke has disappeared too, but Harry can hear his bed springs thump so he wasn’t too worried.

‘I didn’t realise you had company, I feel like a twat’ Louis twists his blue beanie around his fingers.

‘No, its fine, sit down, do you want a drink?’

‘Double whisky I think’ Louis quips. Raising an eyebrow when Harry turns round to look at him.

‘I think I might need it with you’ Louis murmurs, biting his lip anxiously. Harry doesn’t know what to say, so just props himself on a stool next to Louis. It’s intoxicating, being around him again. He can smell his cologne and a shadow of baby powder and he wants to just hold him.

‘I owe you a massive apology’ Louis begins, ‘I invited you for a nice first date and I threw myself at you like a complete animal. I didn’t even realise you were uncomfortable before you pushed me away...I think it's been a while and I was a bit quick off the mark’.

‘How long?’

‘What do you mean how long?’

‘Since you slept with someone?’

‘About 8 months I think.’

Harry takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

‘Try 24 years’ he says, wanting to sound brave but he knew he sounds scared.

Louis looks completely incredulous. ‘You mean?’

‘Don’t say the word, I hate it’ Harry’s chest is tight and he feels completely exposed.

‘So it wasn’t me?’

‘It sort of was you, I wasn’t prepared for feeling like that’.

‘Well then I still owe you an apology.’

Harry stands up and moves closer to Louis. Louis looks up at him, eyes uncertain.

‘I should have told you, I just feel embarrassed talking about it. I’ve had other boyfriends, well i’ve had boyfriends’ he felt his cheeks flush, ‘but it just didn’t happen, I wasn’t ready or we split up.’

Louis holds out an arm and Harry snuggles onto his lap, smiling as their stool wobble.

‘I think you were doing what felt right’ Louis says after a moment. Harry nods, inhaling the sweet smell of Louis’ hair.

⤐ ⤐ ⤐

The weather is appropriately cold and windy as they pack up the car. Harry shuts the boot with an ache in his heart. Luke’s already asleep in the back seat, after throwing a tantrum earlier that morning and had refused to get into the car. Eventually he had worn himself out and was carried in fast asleep.

It’s so quiet, he hops back into the driving seat and sets off for home. The trees gently rustle and he can hear a bird calling. The country is beautiful, but it can also be lonely. Harry feels like had had found himself again staying here, he had become relaxed and happy again, he had reconnected with his son and made some wonderful memories to last him through their next separation. So why is he finding it so hard to  leave? It’s just one of those things, the timing isn’t right. Harry sighs as he enters into a wireless point and his phone begins to ding incessantly. Back to the grindstone.

‘Dad!’ Luke yells. Harry jumps, startled. He stops the car by the side of the road and swivels in his seat.

‘What! What?’

‘I forgot my Olaf toy’ Luke looks distraught, tears streaming down his face.

Harry breathes a sigh of relief. Thank God.

‘I’ll just buy you another one’ he promises, patting his knee and turning back to the steering wheel.

‘No’ Luke shouts wildly, flapping his hands about. ‘I want that one, that's my Olaf. I want it!’

Harry tries in vain to reason with him, but Luke is getting hysterical so he decides to turn the car around.

‘I’ll get it’ Luke screeches as they arrive back at the cottage, unclicking his seatbelt and jumping out of the car. Harry watches from the window as Luke takes the key from its secret hiding spot and jumps on a flowerpot to reach the lock. Harry shakes his head. This kid had spent too much time with Daisy and Phoebe.

He drums his fingers on the dashboard as the minutes tick past. He frowns, trying to see through the window. Where is Luke?

After a few more minutes he’s worried Luke has fallen somewhere or barricaded himself in his room. He gets out of the car and pushes open the front door.

‘Luke?’

‘Luke?’

Harry jogs up the stairs, his heart pounding. He reaches the landing and ducks his head into the bathroom. Nothing.

He hears a creak from Luke’s room and quickly walks through the door.

Luke’s sitting on his bed. But he’s not alone.

‘Louis’ Harry breathes. He feels torn between bewilderment and utter joy.

‘Hi’ Louis brushes himself off as he gets to his feet, biting his lip. ‘I forgot to tell you something’.

Harry feels like he’s going to fall over and it’s only his hands held tightly behind his back that are keeping him up.  ‘What?’ he asks, his voice barely a whisper.

‘You can’t go’

‘But-’

‘No, I’m serious Harry. You-’ he looks back at Luke, ‘both of you, you can’t go’.

‘I don’t think its that easy’ Harry hears himself saying. A small part of him wants to just leap into Louis’ arms.

‘Why does it have to be so hard?’ Louis implores, ‘I know you feel it, I know you do.

I’ve never felt about anyone the way I do you. We just understand each other, you make me laugh...you smell like home’ Louis drags a hand through his hair, ‘God Harry, I just want to look after you and wake up with you. I want everything’.

‘Everything?’

Louis nods. ‘I want to be part of your family,’ he glances up, a uncommonly shy expression on his face, ‘maybe be part of expanding it someday?’

Before Harry even knows what he’s doing he rushes into Louis’ space, registering only his shocked expression before he kisses him. Their lips brush over and over, Louis’ hand grazing his waist.

Louis feels the same. He feels the same! It’s like every Christmas at once.

‘Eew. Gross. This wasn’t part of the plan’ Luke complains. ‘I’ll be in the car’.

Louis draws back giggling as Luke stomps down the stairs.

‘It was part of my plan though’ he smirks, raising an eyebrow as he leans into Harry once more. His mouth is soft and thorough and it makes Harry’s toes tingle. Louis’ small delicate hands cup his cheeks as they kiss and he just wants to take and take, melt into him. Give into him.

Harry jerks back. ‘Wait a second - plan?’

‘Obviously’ Louis smiles, pressing a kiss to his jaw, his scruff burning Harry's skin deliciously. ‘Luke and I are bff’s, you can’t tear us apart. We had this plan concocted last night, in your hallway. Didn’t you realise he was faking being asleep in the car?’

‘No’

‘And that he threw a fit so I could sneak into his room without you knowing?’

Harry winces. That was some stellar acting.

‘The tears were from shoving a tube of Vapo Rub under his nose?’

Harry’s starting to feel a bit silly now.

Louis looks at him knowingly.

‘So we went to all that effort for you not to realise our amazing spy skills?’

‘I guess so’ Harry murmurs, realising he looks probably like a besotted frog but not really bothered. Not as long as Louis keeps looking at him like that.  

‘Did the plan work?’ Louis asks, twining his fingers in Harry’s curls and kissing his nose.

‘If you mean the Get Harry To Fall In Love With You, Using Cute Babies, Winning Over My Son, Being Impossibly Gorgeous Leaving Me Unable To Leave…that plan?’

Louis’ eyes widen but he nods slowly.

‘Then yes’ Harry laughs, wishing Luke was old enough to drive himself to Niall’s so he could drag Louis into his bed. ‘The plan definitely worked.’

                                                                      ⤐ 5 years later  ⤐

‘Dad I am too old for this’ Luke rolls his eyes with all the grace of a 12 year old going on 17 year old.

Harry is aghast. ‘You used to love Tangled!’

‘That was back in like, the dark ages’ Luke turns back to his Nintendo DS. Harry’s just happy it isn’t a phone yet.

‘Megan loves it’ Louis retorts, pushing his face next to Megan and making their cheeks smoosh together adorably. Harry gestures at them as if to say how can you resist those two?

‘I’m twelve now’ I like cool things. Not a baby anymore’ Luke protests, moodiness dissipating upon facing the kryptonite of his baby sister.

‘Always my baby’ Harry pouts. Louis pats his leg consolingly.

‘Fine’ Luke flops onto a bean bag and turns off his console. They all gamely pretend they can’t see him sing along to all the songs.

Harry smiles at such a sight before him, his family all together. It hadn’t been easy, the transition from being a musician doing tours all over the world and performing as the VMA’S to being a songwriter who occasionally performs at their local. But it had done him good, it had balanced him again and made him realise what made him happy. Being around Luke and Louis, seeing their bond grow and making their family complete when Megan came around. He lived for PTA bake sales and hearing Louis sing in the shower. It was a different sort of life, a steady, soft life full of happy days and freely given affection.

Louis catches his eye as Megan crawls over to Luke to sit in his lap. ‘Sap’ he mouths, always able to see into Harry’s head. Harry just blows him a kiss.