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"hobi-hyung, stop getting nail polish on my fingers again! i did yours so well, hyung", jungkook whines as hoseok paints their index fingernail.
it's god-knows-what hour in the night, and hoseok and jungkook are suffering through jetlag together by painting each others' nails.
the seven of them have been on tour for the past two months and their sleep schedules are, for the lack of a better word, fucked. they miss home and they miss their own beds. jungkook, the youngest, has spent most of their life in this world, yet when the sun sets they feel homesick, hiraeth- that's the word they'd found after searching it up- and they seek out comfort.
sometimes they stay up with namjoon talking about plants. they do that when they don't want to talk much, but they don't want to stay in silence. namjoon is comfortable, he fills in the gaps of quietness and jungkook likes to listen to him talk about something he likes.
namjoon was their idol since the beginning of their journey in this industry, he still is their biggest idol. he knows /so much/ about things, knows three languages, is so intelligent. jungkook isn't all of that, and they don't mind, but they admire namjoon for it anyways. it's lovely to hear him talk about mundane things, like the weather, his plants, and just infodump them. jungkook doesn't fall asleep, they listen the whole time, only sleeping once namjoon is done talking.
they go to namjoon when they want to listen.
sometimes they just sit on yoongi's bed, watching him work on music. yoongi is quiet. he doesn't talk much, doesn't record much when jungkook is there. leaves that for nights alone. when jungkook sits on the bed, eyes drooping, yoongi works on producing and composing. he puts his headphones on and gets lost in his music. and jungkook simply watches.
(when it gets too late they go over to yoongi, kiss him softly and tell him to come sleep, it's late and they have to wake up soon)
sometimes they have a smoke or two with taehyung. it's not something they're proud of, they feel guilty about it- they wanted to pursue sports at some point of time and this is clearly not good for them. they're not open about it, either- the rest of their bandmates probably have no idea they smoke. but when they're tired emotionally but have bursts of adrenaline waiting to take over, they knock on taehyung's door; taehyung sees the look on their face and simply knows.
and so they smoke together at hotel balconies when the streets are empty, blasting metal music and loudly talking about nothing as if they're men in their mid-life crises. whenever they smoke they shotgun, because it's taehyung, it makes jungkook's heart flutter and calm down at the same time, and because it feels good. so they smoke together until the playlist they've chosen is over, and then they cuddle up against each other in the bed and fall asleep with the smell of e-cigarettes lurking in the air.
sometimes they go to seokjin to watch k-dramas with him. they turn on netflix if the tv in the hotel has it, and they watch the cringiest k-dramas they can find. watch it until they fall asleep seated. rarely, if ever, do they continue the same k-drama, because there isn't the same television two nights in a row.
if there's no netflix, they watch whatever's there on the cable. sometimes it's a series of telecommercials, sometimes it's a shitty movie, most of the times its property brothers. they understand nothing but they watch it anyways, wanting some sort of auditory stimulation to fall asleep while also wanting human warmth beside them. jungkook falls asleep seated, and wakes up with a blanket around them and the tv magically switched off.
they go to seokjin when they want to be quietly cared for.
jungkook goes to jimin when they want touch. jimin, though smaller, envelopes the younger in warmth. she seems to understand, seems to want and need touch the same way and jungkook does. it's nothing sexual, never has been. the two just need warmth, and jungkook is grateful he has her. sometimes their lips get lost against each other, their tongues clashing and hands lost in each other's hair. that's when they crave warmth, when they feel alone and just need someone to be there, to be warm. they understand each other on a different scale, and when they wake up they always feel better.
jungkook goes to hoseok when they're sleepy but not sleepy enough. they want to fiddle with something and small activities like styling their hair, painting their nails, doing their make-up, they help.
today they're painting each others' nails.
it was almost 2 in the morning and hyperfixating on gaming had sucked the energy out of jungkook, leaving behind fatigue and sleepiness.
luckily, hoseok had opened the door when jungkook knocked, eyes laden with sleep but hair not messy- they were awake. the computer on the desk was lit, confirming it.
jungkook had mumbled about not being able to sleep, and hoseok had suggested a few things while the two cuddled, ultimately settling on nail polish.
being genderqueer and closeted isn't easy, especially when you're a household name. but jungkook manages, they're held afloat with their hoseok-hyung's support, their anchor.
hoseok had come out after jungkook. it wasn't grand, it was simply a "could you switch between masculine and feminine terms for me" in the midst of a dinner table conversation, and jungkook feels comforted by how comfortable hoseok seems in their own identity. they go about it the same way, presenting androgynous, hidden away in the night not because they don't want to be out but because they can't, not yet.
so here they are, getting their nails painted by hoseok.
"you know we're supposed to be asleep, right? what time even is it?", hoseok questions, in an attempt to change the topic from how he isn't the best at coloring within the lines.
jungkook picks up the phone that's beside them- hoseok's- and switches it on so it lights up with the lockscreen of an old picture of the seven of them.
"it's 2:46, noona. and we're touring, you and i both know our sleep schedules are non-existent at this point."
"yeah, yeah", hoseok dismisses.
"hyung", they say. "i just wanna have pretty nails, hyung"
"i know, ggukkie. hyung wants you to have pretty nails too. hyung wants to have pretty nails too", hoseok replies.
"i wish i could be pretty"
"you already are, baby", hoseok says, giving a quick peck to their lips.
"but. but i want to wear crop tops and rings and be pretty", jungkook mumbles.
"i know, my love", hoseok says, "i know you do. i have a crop top somewhere in my suitcase, you want me to go get it?"
"no, 'm too lazy. keep painting my nails hyung", they reply. "you keep painting my fingers, hyung!"
"aish, i told you i'm not great at this. and it's not my fault you're too tired to keep your hand up on the tabletop."
"hey, i'm not tired!", jungkook argues.
(they're clearly tired. they weren't sleepy half an hour ago when they'd started painting hoseok's nails. but now their eyes are drooping and they're getting whiny. they're tired.)
"jungkook-ah, i would believe you if your eyes weren't closed right now."
jungkook opens their eyes.
(their eyes were closed?)
"exactly. you're sleepy", hoseok remarks, already painting jungkook's pinky finger.
(they get paint everywhere. hoseok just doesn't know how to paint nails, and jungkook finds it adorable.)
"but noona", they whine, "you're still getting nail polish all over my fingers, my fingers will be all blue and pink when we perform tomorrow!"
and hoseok lazily smiles at them, a hint of embarrassment hidden-
"yah, hyung! stop smiling and look at my nails", jungkook grumbles.
jungkook likes who they are when they're with hoseok. they like who they are when they're with all their hyungs and noonas, but with hoseok they feel a sense of ease. playful quips that they don't have to think twice about, that hoseok just takes the right way, knowing how to respond. not too energetic, not too bland.
and hoseok replies- "we're going to remove it all anyways, gguk. and you know i'm bad at this!"
"but hyung", jungkook whines again, "i want it to look pretty"
"i'm sorry, gguk-ah, noona's sleepy right now too. are you sure you don't just wanna take it off and go to sleep?"
jungkook blinks, rubbing their eyes with their free hand-
"just finish painting my other hand and then we'll remove it, is that okay? don't wanna remove just yet. like colorful nails."
jungkook is vaguely aware that hoseok just wants to sleep, but also knows that they want to take care of jungkook, and that if they don't want to paint their nails then they'll just say so.
"yeah, gguk-ah. that's fine. just don't fall asleep, without taking the polish off, okay? you know you won't have the time to remove it tomorrow, we've got soundcheck."
jungkook nods, closing their eyes and barely stifling a long yawn. they hate that they have to take off the nail polish. but at the same time they understand why, understand the consequences and implications if they didn't. they don't feel ready yet, not with the nails. makeup is something they've been in public with since they debuted, they've worn dresses for photoshoots too, but with nails they restrict themself. hoseok has gone out with painted nails before, and as much as they want to, they also don't.
"yah!", hoseok exclaims sleepily, waking them from their near-subconscious thoughts, "don't fall asleep on me!"
jungkook nods again, eyes closed-
"i swear i won't fall asleep, noona. eyes just hurt. watched too much tv."
hoseok sighs, gently grabs jungkook's other hand and starts to paint their nails maroon.
"noona", jungkook calls, half-asleep.
the polish shines in the dim yellow light.
"love you, hoseok-noona."
as hoseok reaches to paint the ring fingernail, jungkook falls asleep.
the next morning at around 7:30, as jungkook wakes up, the first thing they realise is that their nails (and fingers) have been wiped clean of polish. they hear the shower running, and hoseok's clothes are neatly laid out on the table along with jungkook's.