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Hizashi ties up his hair as he makes his way down the hall, following the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen. As he passes through the threshold, he sees two familiar figures, but only two. Shouta’s sleepily working on what Hizashi’s nose tells him is miso soup, while Eri’s busy building a mountain out of various items sitting on the table.
“Shouldn’t Hitoshi be up at least by now?” Hizashi questions aloud, checking his watch. “It’s already 7 o’clock.”
“Hm, probably…” Shouta yawns.
Usually, by this time, Hitoshi would already be getting set for his weekend sparring sessions, so his absence was definitely unusual. Even if they had yet to see the teenager, they would typically at least hear him moving around the house, but so far, only radio silence.
Shouta glances over his shoulder at Eri. The little girl is completely engrossed in her construction project, not noticing Hizashi taking his usual seat next to her. Shouta clears his throat.
“Eri-chan, I have a special mission for you. Are you up to the challenge?”
Her head shoots up and a pair of big red eyes meet his. She gasps excitedly.
“Yes, yes, what is it?!”
“One of our troops—you may know him, his name is Hitoshi, is missing. He hasn’t reported for duty this morning.” Shouta explains. His tone is all business, no-nonsense at all. “I need Lieutenant Eri-chan to track him down. He must be returned by any means necessary.”
Eri nods curtly, clearly accepting her mission.
“ Any means necessary?”
“ Any means necessary,” Shouta confirms, momentarily glancing at his husband. There’s a small smile on his face that would be practically undetectable to anyone other than Hizashi. He smiles back and watches the scene as it continues to unfold.
Eri wastes no time upon receiving her instructions. She jumps down from her chair and rushes to the kitchen door. She stops abruptly just past the doorway and turns to her parents, bidding them adieu with a serious (read: adorable) salute before running off down the hall.
When Eri arrives at the door to Hitoshi’s room, she presses her ear against it. She listens closely but there don’t appear to be any signs of life. She slowly pushes the door open and takes a step inside.
“Nii-chaaaan,” she whispers, eyeing the lump concealed beneath a large white duvet. The lump remains still, so Eri tries the whisper method a few more times, but with no success.
The little girl steps up to the edge of the bed, patting the mattress with both hands. No response. Next, she pats the lump a little more firmly. Again, no response. Most would agree that Eri is a patient young lady, but she’s under time constraints. Her father’s voice echoes in her head.
Any means necessary.
Eri silently runs back to the door and checks the hallway. The coast is clear, no dads in sight. She turns her attention back to the lump that still has yet to move. She takes a deep breath and then runs towards the bed. She jumps, throwing herself over the edge and onto the lump, which produces a loud, startled noise. Eri quickly scrambles down off the bed and gets into position so she’s ready to defend herself from a potential attack.
Slowly, the duvet begins to move. Eventually, it exposes a mess of purple hair and swollen, bloodshot eyes. The eyes meet Eri’s, and they seemingly struggle to stay open.
The lump wheezes, followed by a pained cough. Eri approaches the bed once again and pushes herself up to get a closer look.
Hitoshi moves the duvet down further, exposing more of his face. The usual dark circles under his eyes are more prominent now, and his complexion is ghastly. He tries to breathe through his red nose, but it’s a losing battle against the congestion.
Eri’s nose momentarily scrunches up in disgust.
“Nii-chan, you look like… like a blobfish… You know those weird, ugly fish?”
Hitoshi coughs again and winces at the pain in his throat and chest.
“Thanks…” he says, weakly.
“Oh, that wasn’t a compliment,” she corrects, tone completely innocent. Hitoshi sighs as an imaginary knife pierces his heart.
“I’m dying, Eri-chan. I’m really dying. Say your final goodbyes now while you have the chance.”
The little girl stares at him blankly for just a moment.
“Okay,” she says before turning away and scampering down the hall.
Hitoshi stares at the door in disbelief. He spends longer than he’d like to admit waiting for Eri to come back, hoping that this is a joke and the little girl’s comedic timing just needs work. He waits long enough to fall back asleep with no Eris in sight.
ϟϟϟ
Hizashi and Shouta sit at the table enjoying their breakfast in comfortable silence. Hizashi is about to take another sip of his coffee when his attention is caught by a white ponytail that bounces past them.
Eri jumps to grab the telephone mounted on the wall but it’s just out of her reach. Hizashi chuckles and pushes himself away from the table. He walks up behind Eri as she continues to jump for the phone, unaware of his presence.
“Here, Eri-chan, let me get it,” he grins, handing the little girl the phone. She smiles up at him, taking the phone in both hands. Eri takes a note with numbers scrawled on it out of her sweater pocket and studies it for a moment.
“So, what’s the status of your mission?”
“Huh?” She questions, sparing her father a quick glance as she slowly punches numbers into the phone. “Oh, target acquired, but Private Hitoshi died.”
Shouta snorts from the kitchen table, hunched over his breakfast, and Hizashi throws him a look, face twisted up in confusion and amusement of his own. He gestures to the doorway and Shouta nods in understanding.
“I’ll go check,” Shouta whispers. He finishes off his coffee as he stands, setting the empty mug down on the table to deal with later.
“Who are you calling?” Hizashi inquires, but his question is too late.
“Hello? Hi, it’s Eri-chan. Is Blasty–I mean Bakugou, home?”
Lieutenant Eri’s plan becomes crystal-clear to Hizashi almost instantly and he retreats to the kitchen table, gathering up the dishes as he laughs quietly to himself.
The conversation is short and to the point, as expected, considering who’s on the other end. Once Eri says her goodbyes, she looks over to Hizashi and motions for him to come over to her.
Hizashi places the cutlery in his hand into the sink and dries his hands on his pajama pants. Eri extends her arms up and over her head, holding the phone in the air for Hizashi to take and place back into its home.
He smiles down at her and pats her head lovingly.
“How goes it, Eri-chan? Change of plans?”
“Sometimes you have to call in reforcemens,” she shrugs looking up at him.
Hizashi chokes back a laugh and nods in understanding. The little girl’s brows furrow as she cocks her head to the side, clearly a little confused by the reaction.
“This isn’t a one-Eri-chan job, Papa, you have to understand.”
Her father puts his hands up in defence.
“Oh no, you’re absolutely right. You do what you need to do.”
She gives him a curt nod before leaving the kitchen, heading who-knows-where.
As much as he would love to continue the skit, he’s thankful Eri’s gone so he can finally fully break character. All Hizashi wants to do is cackle like a hyena and squeeze his daughter like a tube of toothpaste. If he didn’t know any better, he’d assume Shouta had a heart of stone because of how easy it seems for him to keep a straight face in these situations.
ϟϟϟ
Hitoshi groans as he turns over onto his side and lets his arms hang off the edge of his bed. The pain in his head makes his vision blur and everything in his room doubles and spins for a moment. He attempts to glare at the cold and flu liqui-gels his father left on his nightstand for their apathy towards his current situation, but the pain increases by approximately four billion percent by Hitoshi’s rough estimate. He hisses and digs the heels of his palms into his eyes in an attempt to ease the agony, but it doesn’t do much to help.
“Do I really deserve this?” he whimpers to the empty room as he turns back over.
After a moment of staring at the ceiling, Hitoshi pulls his pillow out from under his head and drops it onto his face instead. He sighs at the state of his life, but before he can start to feel too sorry for himself, there’s a quick, singular knock at the door.
“Coming in,” a familiar voice calls as Hitoshi hears the door open.
“See?” Eri prompts. “It’s not good...”
“You know, you’ll pass out before you suffocate. You should try something else,” Katsuki smirks.
“Just put me out of my misery,” Hitoshi sighs, pushing the pillow away to get a better look at the intruders.
His eyes widen at the scene in front of him. Eri is sitting on Katsuki’s shoulders, resting her hands on top of his head, as the other holds her legs in place. They’re both staring at him, Eri’s eyes full of pity, and Katsuki’s… well, that’s to be determined, but Hitoshi’s sure the results won’t make him feel much better.
“What’s this?” he gestures lazily at them. “Why? Who called you?”
Katsuki quirks an eyebrow at him as if this isn’t at least a little weird.
“I needed reforcemens to–”
“Reinforcements,” Katsuki corrects, and his words are softer than Hitoshi would have expected.
“I needed reinforcements ,” Eri repeats and waits for Katsuki to nod his approval before she continues. “To complete my mission. Also, I wanted to be tall and Blasty said it was okay.”
“So you chose this guy?” Hitoshi asks, offence more than evident in his tone. “Eri-chan, I’m way taller, and not to mention cooler and so much more handsome.”
“Hm, no I don’t think so,” Eri counters as she pats Katsuki’s cheeks. The blond barks out a laugh before turning his attention back to Hitoshi.
“So, why do you look like shit? You sick?”
There’s no provocation in his tone, so Hitoshi decides to just go along with it but before he can answer, Eri tugs on their guest’s hair.
“ Hey! ”
“No swearing,” she scolds. “Daddy doesn’t like it. Plus, we have to be sensitive ‘cause nii-chan’s dying.”
“Yeah, this is the end for me, so you’ve gotta find a new sparring partner, sorry.”
Katsuki reaches up to grab Eri and puts her back down onto the carpet. He crouches down to match her height as best he can.
“Go get the bag I left by the door, ‘kay?”
“The black one,” she confirms.
He nods and gives her a quick pat on the head before she dashes out the door. Katsuki straightens and turns back to Hitoshi. He opens his mouth to speak but hesitates, leaning back to steal a glance down the hall. When the coast is seemingly clear, he speaks.
“The others are shit and frankly, annoying. So, get better fast or I’ll kick your ass, got it?”
Hitoshi laughs, but it ends up turning into a coughing fit. His throat burns as if he were drinking acid and it makes his eyes water and his head pound. Maybe if Katsuki did kick his ass, his heart would explode from shock and he’d be free from this phlegmy prison.
“Gross,” is all the sympathy Katsuki offers him.
“Don’t ever get into healthcare, your bedside manner is garbage,” Hitoshi wheezes amusedly and Katsuki smirks. “But thanks for the compliment, I guess. And just between you and me, I’m not really loving this, so I don’t plan on dragging it out any longer than necessary.”
“Yeah, that’s why I don’t get sick.”
The boys stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. The comment stuns Hitoshi with its genuineness. He almost, almost can’t believe what he’s hearing and pushes himself up into more of a sitting position.
“Are you really blaming me for getting the flu right now? I have minutes to live and those are what you want your last words to me to be?” He’s absolutely bewildered by their conversation, but the other doesn’t appear phased at all.
“I’m just saying, you wouldn’t feel so bad if you hadn’t gotten sick, that’s all” Katsuki shrugs.
“I hate you. I really do,” Hitoshi deadpans, but there’s no truth to his words. They both know it, too, because Katsuki laughs and Hitoshi smiles, shaking his head.
“I meant what I said, though,” the blond explains, seemingly more serious.
“That I’m gross and you’re gonna kick my ass?” Hitoshi jokes.
“That I don’t want to practice with anyone else.”
Katsuki stares pointedly at him, and for some reason, Hitoshi’s cheeks feel warmer and there’s a tightness in his stomach that wasn’t there before. He isn’t sure it’s solely related to whatever bug is wreaking havoc on his body either.
“N-neither do I…”
Before Katsuki can say whatever it is he looks like he wants to say next, Eri appears again, dragging the black bag behind her. It’s clearly too heavy for her small frame to lug around and she puffs out a breath in an attempt to blow stray hair out of her face.
“What’s in here?!” she scowls, more than a little out of breath. “Is this thing full of bricks?”
“I do store all my bricks in a bag just like this one, so maybe I grabbed the wrong one,” Katsuki supplies flatly.
The little girl glares up at him, clearly not at all amused, unlike her brother who’s trying (but failing) to conceal his snickering.
“You’re on thin ice, Blasty. And you, too, Snotty,” she warns, pointing at Hitoshi.
“Sorry, Eri-chan,” he laughs. “What is in the bag, though?”
His eyes focus on Katsuki, who’s now crouching and digging through the bag. He glances over his shoulder at Hitoshi before turning back to dig around for whatever it is he’s looking for.
“Chibi-chan said you weren’t feeling well,” he nods towards Eri. “And I figured it must be kinda bad if you wouldn’t be able to train, so I brought some stuff that should help you… you know, be less gross.”
Hitoshi’s stomach twists and tightens again, and he hopes that if his cheeks are a little redder than before, no one notices or they just pass it off as flu-related (which it totally is, without question).
“God, finally,” the blond grumbles as he stands up, a folded piece of paper in hand.
He closes most of the distance between them, standing at the edge of Hitoshi’s bed. He hands him the piece of paper and Hitoshi isn’t sure why he’s suddenly feeling so embarrassed.
“What’s this?” he asks, but the words come out just a little too quiet and it makes him cringe. Thankfully, if Katsuki notices, he doesn’t acknowledge it.
“It’s a list of what’s in each container and what it’s good for. I didn’t know what was wrong with you, but certain foods are good for certain things when you’re sick, so…” he gestures vaguely, seemingly hoping for Hitoshi to fill in the blanks. Too bad for Katsuki, though, because it doesn’t happen. He sighs, avoiding the other’s gaze, and continues. “So… judge accordingly, I guess.”
Hitoshi can’t help but stare, more than a little surprised. When Katsuki finally looks back at him, neither of them says a word. They just stare at each other. He looks tense and Hitoshi thinks there may be a tint to his cheeks, too, but perhaps that’s just wishful thinking.
His brain tells him he needs to say something, literally anything, because the weight of the silence is getting to be a bit too much, but he can’t seem to find the words. Luckily for him, Eri saves the day. While some heroes wear capes, this one wears Sanrio pajamas.
“You made all of this?” she gasps, digging through the bag and pulling out various containers.
Her question rips their attention away from each other. Katsuki’s head whips around and when he processes what she’s said, he huffs and runs his hand through his hair.
“Uh, most of it, yeah.”
Eri smiles wide up at them. She puts down the container she’s holding and Hitoshi grimaces at how red the contents of the container appear. It must be spicy, which is something he isn’t well-equipped to handle on his best days, so he can only imagine what it’s going to do to him in this state. Before he can dwell too much on it, though, his attention focuses back to Eri as she pushes herself up off the floor.
The little girl hops over to the two boys, suddenly wrapping her arms around Katsuki’s leg. Based on the sound he makes, he’s just as surprised as Hitoshi is. He doesn’t push her away or bark at her, though.
“You’re really nice,” she smiles, hugging tighter. Her cheek squishes against Katsuki’s leg and it’s almost too cute to bear. “I’m really happy Nii-chan has a friend like you. Thank you for taking care of him.”
He can’t quite see the expression on Katsuki’s face, but his red ears really stand out against his blond hair. The Eri Effect™ has claimed another victim, it would seem. Hitoshi puts his hand to his chest and closes his eyes to quietly mourn his fallen companion.
When he opens his eyes, the red-eyed duo are staring at him inquisitively. Eri still has her arms securely around Katsuki’s leg as she speaks to him.
“Sorry he looks so bad though,” she sighs, dropping her head. “I wanted to warn you but then I didn’t think you’d come.”
There’s now a devilish grin on Katsuki’s face as he speaks.
“It’s fine. It isn’t the worst I’ve seen, though it is close.”
“Doesn’t he kinda look like that gross fish? The blobfish?”
“ Hah? ”
Eri gives her brother a look, seemingly to tell him to bring their guest up to speed. With a pained sigh, Hitoshi takes his phone from the nightstand and pulls up a photo of his apparent aquatic counterpart. When he turns his phone to show the others, he knows nothing good can come from this.
Initially, Katsuki’s face twists up in mild disgust, but once Eri confirms that’s the fish she’s talking about, he starts laughing in a way that Hitoshi hasn’t seen before and it’s not long before Eri joins in. He feels warmth spread through his chest at the sight, but his peace is incredibly short-lived.
“Yeah, that’s exactly it!” Katsuki confirms as his laughter subsides. “Sucks you have to look at him like this.”
His sister supplies only a somber nod. The knife has returned, and it’s sharper than ever.
“Can you guys maybe bond over something that isn’t at my expense?”
His two attackers look at each other, eyebrows raised as if this is something they never considered possible. Though all he gets in lieu of an explanation are a pair of shrugs, one of which, probably surprising to everyone other than him, is much more mischievous and wicked than the other.
Hitoshi flops onto his back again and closes his eyes, hoping the sickness takes him before the dynamic (read: demonic) duo can twist the knife once again.