Archive of Our Own ^beta

Barney had heard all the prophecies. He knew that the Vortigaunts truly believed Gordon Freeman would come back to them one day. And a decade or so ago, he would’ve been ecstatic at the news. But it had been twenty years now, and Barney hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the man. Every day they got further from the Black Mesa Incident, and the chances of Gordon reappearing grew slimmer and slimmer.

That was, if the man was even still alive. Barney was very familiar with how the Resistance now idolised the man but, contrary to the myth of the Free Man, he wasn’t actually invincible. Assuming he had survived the direct aftermath of the Resonance Cascade, the onslaught of aliens, and the Seven Hour War, he still had to evade the Combine for two whole decades, supposedly without any outside help.

Now, Barney liked to think of himself as an optimist, but even he had to admit that the chances were miniscule.

The HEV suit had been uncovered in some rubble last year, along with Gordon’s now infamous crowbar. For a few weeks Barney had ridden that high, so sure that it signalled the return of his best friend. But as the days passed and Gordon still didn’t appear, Barney began to worry about why exactly the HEV suit had been separated from its wearer and left splattered with blood.

Nevertheless, the Vorts remained sure that Gordon would return one day. And even if Barney could no longer bring himself to get his hopes up, he sometimes let himself imagine what life would be like with Gordon again. Some days, dreaming about old stories from Black Mesa was the only thing getting Barney through a CP shift.

Even if his memory of Gordon’s face was slowly getting blurrier and less detailed, the man’s smile always remained as radiant as it had been in person. Barney frequently cursed the Resonance Cascade for happening as quickly as it did; he always wished he had the time to run back to his dorms and grab a few possessions. At least then he’d have photo albums full of himself and Gordon on various adventures. As it stood, though, Barney had to make do with his shitty memory and any photos Kleiner or Eli had saved from their offices before shit had really hit the fan.

Barney wasn’t too proud to admit that he had spent several of his shifts imagining what Gordon would look like now. It had been twenty years after all, and none of them could escape ageing. Maybe Gordon had started going grey in his temples, like Barney had. Barney hoped he’d kept his hair long; he’d always wanted to run his fingers through it. His worry wrinkles would probably be more pronounced, and hopefully he’d found enough joy in the dreary world to develop crow’s feet. Maybe he’d grown his beard out into something bushy, or maybe he’d adopted a more clean-shaven look…

A noise from beside him pulled Barney out of his daydreams. He looked over to the door of the interrogation room to see his CP partner coming back from his break. The two of them had worked together for a few months now, but Barney had never learnt their name. Although judging by how they readily followed their every order, he wasn’t exactly keen to befriend them. They nodded at each other in greeting. That was as familiar as they got.

Barney, not wanting to look like he was daydreaming on the job, quickly turned round to look at the console on the wall. He would probably have to pull another civilian off the train soon, unless he wanted his co-workers to get suspicious. That would be the last thing he needed.

Looking at the screen, Barney advanced through the cameras, wondering which poor soul he’d have to take in for “questioning”. Most of the arrivals from the recent train had already cleared off, keeping their heads down to avoid drawing attention to themselves while they quickly left the train station. There were a few people sitting on benches, probably waiting for family or friends to get off one of the trains. Some of them had been waiting hours, and Barney knew they had next to no chance of a happy reunion. He left those people alone.

There was one irregular civilian in the train station. While most people knew very well that they should keep to themselves or risk being accused of collusion, this man did nothing of the sort. He approached every person he came across, like he was looking for help, and was turned away in the same way every time. He kept his distance from the CP officers, eyeing them warily.

As the man wandered aimlessly out of the camera’s view, Barney clicked through his cameras to find where he had gone. The man was an anomaly, definitely, but that wasn’t all. There was something familiar about him, but Barney couldn’t place it. The low resolution of the monitors and poor camera placement certainly didn’t help either; he hadn’t gotten a clear view of the man’s face yet.

It was only when the man approached the door outside Barney’s station, only a few metres away from the train to Nova Prospekt, did Barney get a good look at him. His breath caught in his throat, and he was suddenly very thankful for the stuffy masks the Combine made them all wear.

Gordon…?

Barney stared at the video feed for a few seconds, watching as the man got closer to the camera. It couldn’t be Gordon, could it? Absolutely nothing from him for twenty years, then he shows up out of the blue like this? Barney had to be sure.

Hands shaking, Barney activated his radio and asked another CP officer to shut the gate and stop the civilian before they could go any further. He hoped the voice modulator in the mask hid the weakness in his voice.

He watched on the screen as the officer stopped the man and motioned for him to enter the door to his right. The man looked confused but complied, and Barney took that as his cue to go pick him up. He left the room without a second glance to his co-worker; he’d figure out how to deal with them later.

Barney walked as quickly as he could down the corridor, his brain going a mile a minute trying to work out what exactly was happening here. Was Gordon really back? Had the Vortigaunts’ prophecy finally come true? Or was this some cruel trick of fate? Was it just a man who looked remarkably similar to Gordon Freeman, and Barney was getting his hopes up again?

When Barney opened the door, the sight of the man before him hit him like a truck of bricks.

It was Gordon.

Gordon fucking Freeman was stood in front of him and he didn’t look a year older than when Barney had last seen him.

And, fuck, he still managed to take Barney’s breath away.

Barney had to force himself not to outwardly react, so he didn’t out himself then and there. He took a deep breath and looked at his best friend that he hadn’t seen in two decades. Instead of saying anything he wanted to say, like asking Gordon where the hell he’d been or trying to articulate just how much Barney had missed him, he simply said, “You, citizen.”

Gordon looked at him with wide eyes, and Barney hated that he was the reason for the fear on his face. He half considered ripping off his mask right there just so Gordon wouldn’t look quite so afraid and alone.

Instead of that, though, he pointed over his shoulder and continued, “Come with me.” When Gordon took a step toward him, Barney turned around and began to walk back to his interrogation room, glancing back every few seconds to check Gordon was still following.

As they passed one of the doors to the other interrogation rooms, Gordon stopped. He looked through the hatch on the door and his eyebrows drew together in worry as he saw what was happening in there. No doubt, an innocent man being accused of something he didn’t do, just so the other officers could have an excuse to beat him.

Barney suppressed a shudder at Gordon’s obvious fear. Did he think that was going to happen to him? Why wasn’t he resisting or putting up a fight? Did he know it would be useless; that he was massively outnumbered?

The hatch shut suddenly, and Gordon flinched at the noise. He turned to face Barney, eyes still wide, and took another step forward, albeit more reluctantly this time.

Barney pounded on the door to his own interrogation room, knowing his partner would still be in there, probably waiting for him to return with their next victim.

The door swung open, and Barney stood aside. “Get in.”

“Need any help with this one?” asked his partner, looking Gordon up and down.

Barney swallowed down a slew of insults at the implication that anyone was going to be hurting Gordon. He supposed he was grateful that they asked; that saved him the trouble of getting rid of them, at least. He looked over to where Gordon stood in the corner, trying to make himself seem as small as possible, then said, “No, I’m good.”

The other CP officer nodded, then left the room and closed the door behind them. Barney made sure it was locked, then headed over to the console on the wall. He knew there were cameras recording his every move, and he also knew that CPs were allowed to disable them if they didn’t want something to be recorded. He hoped there weren’t any other, secret cameras in the room, but they’d cross that bridge when they came to it, he supposed.

Behind him, Gordon was eyeing the chair in the middle of the room surrounded by blood. His face was considerably paler than it had been a few minutes ago. At least he looks convincing, Barney thought, trying not to dwell on how Gordon was putting as much distance between the two of them as possible.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need me some privacy for this…” Barney said, as he pressed a few buttons on the console. He turned back round to face Gordon as the cameras on either side of the room retracted into the ceiling. As he fingered the clasp behind his head he wondered if Gordon would actually be happy to see him. Was there a reason he hadn’t gone looking for Barney and Kleiner and the rest of them? Did he not want to be associated with them anymore? Barney could hardly blame him; he wanted to forget everything that happened at Black Mesa too.

Maybe Gordon had moved on with his life in the last twenty years. He might not even remember their friendship, and he definitely did not wish it had been more than just platonic. Maybe Barney should have moved on, too…

“Now…” Exhaling softly, Barney pulled his mask off and smiled at the man he hadn’t seen for two whole decades. “About that beer I owe ya!”

For one jarring second, Gordon didn’t react at all. His face stayed confused and concerned as he studied Barney’s face. He stood up straight, whole body rigid with fear.

Barney kept his smile plastered on, determined to smile through this. Even if it was painful. “It’s me, Gordon! Barney? From Black Mesa?”

And then Gordon’s eyes lit up. He stared in disbelief, his hands slowly coming up to form a sign, before Barney was suddenly enveloped in a bone-crushing hug.

He took a moment to process what was happening, then melted into Gordon’s chest, easily reciprocating the hug. He still couldn’t quite believe this was happening; that this was real. Maybe he’d accidentally drank some of Breen’s water and was having an allergic reaction in the form of a very realistic and physical hallucination of his hopes and dreams.

Barney leant his head on Gordon’s shoulder and breathed in his scent. He smelt like those starchy Combine-issued boilersuits, but simultaneously exactly how Barney remembered him. He wanted to stay like this for as long as he could, Gordon’s warmth slowly seeping through Barney’s thick uniform and chasing away the cold that had settled in there years ago.

Gordon sniffled against his shoulder and pulled back slightly to look at the man in front of him. Barney placed his hands on Gordon’s shoulders, not even bothering to wipe his teary eyes. He chuckled shakily, seeing Gordon wasn’t doing much better and smiled at his old friend.

“Oh, Doc…” Barney whispered, lifting a hand to Gordon’s cheek to wipe away a stray tear. The scientist seemed to appreciate the touch, leaning into Barney’s palm and letting his shoulders relax.

Barney knew there were a million questions he should be asking right now. Where had Gordon been for the last twenty years? Why had he suddenly shown up here? What was his skincare routine to not look a day over 30 despite the apocalyptic situation of the Earth over the last two decades? Was he okay? But for the moment, he was content to stand here and stare into his best friend’s eyes like he used to do in Black Mesa whenever he thought Gordon wasn’t looking.

Gordon tapped Barney on the forearm, just like he always used to when he wanted to get the man’s attention. That little display of affection; the instant throwback to simpler times was almost enough to make Barney start crying in earnest. Instead, he swallowed it down and nodded at Gordon, signalling for him to go ahead.

Gordon hesitated for a second, then lifted his hands and signed, [Why do you look old?]

The question was so unexpected that Barney snorted, tipping his head back to laugh properly. “Hah, more like, ‘why do you still look 27?’” he replied, trying to muffle his laugh. “Gee, Gord, I don’t know. Twenty years is an awful long time. I guess I am old, now.”

This was nothing new to Barney. He was well aware of the aches in his joints that weren’t there a few years ago, definitely not helped by his stressful lifestyle. He and Alyx frequently joked about how he now sounded like Kleiner whenever he had to stand up. Not to mention the grey streak in his previously prized hair, not that looks were all that important anymore.

Gordon, however, looked horrified at this revelation. His eyebrows were drawn together in worry and stared at Barney like he’d grown another head. [Twenty… Years…]

Barney was immediately worried by Gordon’s reaction. “Gordon…? What is it? What’s wrong?”

For a few seconds, Gordon didn’t respond. He stared off into the distance, like he always used to do when he was working through a problem in his head. His eyes snapped to Barney’s. [Barney. When did the Resonance Cascade happen?]

“What? Well, it happened twenty years ago, give or take a few weeks. Why?”

Gordon stared at him. Just as he was about to say something else, there was a knock at the door.

Barney winced. “Ah, shit, that’s what I was afraid of…” He glanced between Gordon and the entrance to the room, weighing his options. “Alright Gord, come here.” Barney walked over to the door in the back of the room, stepping over a pool of blood. He unlocked the door and opened it, letting Gordon look out. “Okay, you need to leave City Hall out this way, then go down the alleyway on the right of the plaza. It’ll take you to an apartment block that should be safe for us. The door to apartment 2B should be unlocked, can you wait in there for me?”

Slowly, Gordon nodded. He repeated the directions in his head, committing them to memory. He sniffed, then exhaled slowly, trying to calm himself down.

Barney sighed in relief. “Thank you… I know you’ve probably got a lotta questions, and I promise I’ll answer everything there, but it’s not safe for you here.”

There was another knock at the door, this one more insistent.

Barney bit his lip. “Alright, on your way there, keep your head down and avoid any CPs.” He grabbed his mask from where he’d dropped it. “Stay safe, Gordon. I’ll be there as soon as I can, just gotta clean up on this end.”

Gordon still wasn’t sure what was going on, but Barney seemed very stressed about it. He nodded again, trusting Barney to keep his promise. [I’ll see you soon.]

Barney nodded in thanks. “I’ll see you then. Stay safe.”

And, with that, Gordon stepped through the door and closed it behind him. And then Barney was alone again.

Twenty minutes later, Barney had finally gotten away from the Combine. Did they know he had lied through his teeth about Gordon’s disappearance? Probably. Were they more suspicious of him than they used to be? Almost definitely. But they hadn’t outright killed him, and Barney would take that. He’d just have to be a lot more cautious in future.

Anyway, Gordon was worth it. It wasn’t like he’d just thrown away the Combine’s trust in him for no reason; he’d saved Gordon from Nova Prospekt or some other horrible end. And if it was a choice between Gordon’s life and Barney’s job, Barney knew what he’d pick without hesitation.

As he approached the apartment complex he had sent Gordon to, Barney wondered if there was another CP tailing him. He hadn’t seen anyone and, for all they knew, Barney was just going home after his shift. If they saw Gordon, however, it would be pretty obvious what had happened.

The thought of the Combine getting to Gordon made Barney pick up his pace. He took the stairs two at a time, ignoring how his knees complained, then quickly walked to the door to 2B. He knocked on the door, not wanting to spook Gordon. Assuming he had made it there.

When there was no response, Barney’s stomach sank. He knocked again, louder this time. “Gordon? You in there? It’s Barney,” he said, hopefully loud enough to hear through the door. He didn’t want to announce Gordon’s presence to the whole neighbourhood.

For a tense minute, there was no sound from inside the apartment. Then, thankfully, Barney heard quiet footsteps, followed by the door slowly opening. When he saw Gordon’s face poke through the crack, he sighed in relief.

“Oh, good, you’re here. Was worried for a sec there, Doc.”

Gordon smiled at Barney and opened the door fully. The latter then walked to each of the (very few) windows in the apartment, looked out of them, and covered them with either a ratty curtain or a piece of wood. Gordon made sure the door was locked behind them.

When Barney seemed happy with the room, he sat down on the sofa on the far side of the living room. “Sorry about the precautions, Doc,” he said, patting the seat next to him. “Can never be too careful.”

Gordon sat down on the sofa next to Barney. He didn’t really understand what the man was talking about, and the state of the world seemed like such a far cry from the one he last remembered that he assumed he had missed something big. He hoped Barney would be able—and willing—to explain it.

“Now, I know you’ve got a lot of questions, but can I ask one first?”

Hesitantly, Gordon nodded. His memories were blurry, and he wasn’t quite sure which of them were real. There was the Resonance Cascade, a lot of aliens, then one big alien, and then the Man in a Suit. Did all that actually happen?

“Where have you been? I mean, we all thought everyone had been relocated to one of the Cities, but no one had seen you. And then the HEV suit shows up a few months ago but you don’t—just… Where’d ya go?” Barney’s voice broke on the last word. He cleared his throat, trying to regain a hold on his emotions.

Gordon thought. The truth was, he didn’t know where he’d been. He couldn’t believe it had been twenty years since the Resonance Cascade, and yet all the evidence was staring him in the face. The world was barely recognisable. [The last thing I remember… is a day or so after the Resonance Cascade.]

At this, Barney’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. He motioned for Gordon to continue.

[I launched a rocket, killed a bunch of soldiers, then I went to Xen. It’s all a bit blurred, to be honest.]

Barney nodded. “That’s fine; take your time. It’s okay.”

[In Xen, there was one huge alien. The scientists said it was keeping the portal open, and that I had to kill it. So… I did. And then there was a man… He was talking to me, congratulating me for what I’d done. He threatened me, told me to walk through a portal, and then, next thing I know, I wake up on the train ride here.]

For a moment, Barney was quiet, trying to process what Gordon had just told him. “So, you… what? Time travelled? Were put in stasis?” It felt cheap to use sci-fi terms after everything he’d seen since the Resonance Cascade, but Barney was no scientist, and this was the best way he could explain it.

Gordon shrugged. [I guess so. It’s like no time has passed for me.]

“Yeah, no kidding; you look exactly as I remember you on that day. A little… worse for wear maybe, but you really haven’t aged a day.”

Barney looked at Gordon properly. He had a few cuts and scars that weren’t there twenty years ago, and his hair had (unfortunately) been shorn short, but he was almost identical to the photo of the AnoMat team that Kleiner kept up in his lab.

He still had the spattering of freckles over his cheeks and the bright emerald eyes behind his slightly geeky glasses (which had somehow miraculously survived everything that had happened at Black Mesa). He even still had a few premature grey hairs at his temples, which Barney used to bully him about but secretly found very charming. With the state of his own hair, Barney couldn’t exactly do that anymore.

The denim coveralls he was wearing weren’t exactly flattering, though Barney supposed they had been made with exactly that in mind. Barney always loved seeing Gordon’s outfits outside of work; they were always so colourful and stylish, and such a far cry from the lab coat and tie he had to wear at Black Mesa. It was just an added bonus when Gordon would roll up his sleeves and show off his toned forearms to the world. He was in surprisingly good shape, for a man of science.

“Anyway,” Barney said quickly, aware he was staring. “You must really have a lot of questions, if you’ve missed twenty years. Where do you wanna start?”

[Can you start at the beginning? What happened to the world after the Resonance Cascade?]

And so, Barney explained everything. He talked about the portal storms that swept the Earth, about the hordes of aliens that teleported in and killed millions of unsuspecting people. He explained how, just as things started to look up for the human race, the Combine attacked. Another alien race, but much stronger than anything on Xen. They slaughtered humans for nearly seven hours straight, before Breen—yes, Black Mesa’s old Administrator—managed to “negotiate” a peace contract with the Combine. Those seven hours had been dubbed the ‘Seven Hour War’, and Breen’s “negotiation” led the way to Earth being governed by a race of fascist aliens.

Since then, the world had steadily gotten worse and worse. The Combine had been secretly trying to wipe out the human race, without making it completely obvious that is what they were doing. They’d installed the Suppression Field, which prevented people from having children, and they’d taken away almost every luxury a person could have. They’d forced people to live in crowded cities, like City 17, so they could be monitored and subdued more easily. Some people, like Barney, had managed to escape the Combine’s watchful eye, and were secretly planning to overthrow their new leaders. They made up a network known as the Resistance. They’d made lots of progress in the last twenty years, but they still had a long way to go if they wanted to properly destroy the Combine.

When Barney was done talking, and Gordon had run out of questions, the sun had long since set and the stars—those that were still visible, at least—were out. Gordon was having a hard time processing everything that Barney had just said. He wanted to believe that this was all a bad dream; that he’d wake up any moment now in his Black Mesa dorm and he’d have to rush through his morning routine so he wasn’t late again. Judging by how the sofa dug into his back, he probably wouldn’t get that lucky. Just to be sure, though, he pinched the skin on his forearm. Yep, alright. Definitely not a dream. Okay.

His situation would probably sink in at a later time. Until then, he supposed he’d have to get used to this new lifestyle, just like everybody else had. He was keen to start making up for the twenty years he’d lost, even if he’d have to do it in a world he barely recognised.

After a few minutes of silence between them, broken only by the occasional CP officer patrolling the streets outside, Barney spoke. “You all good, Doc? I know it’s a lot to take in… Hell, I’ve been living like this for years and I still can’t quite believe it happened. All those sci-fi movies, and I never thought it would actually be real, y’know?” He gave a humourless chuckle. “It’s okay if you’re not okay, Gordon. If there’s anything I can do, you just gotta ask.”

Gordon looked Barney in the eyes and nodded his thanks sincerely. [I think I’m fine… It doesn’t feel real yet. Can’t wrap my head around it, I suppose.]

Barney smiled. “Heh, tell me about it. I still can’t believe we finally found you, after all these years. Kleiner always believed you’d come back one day.”

Gordon raised his eyebrows. [Kleiner’s here too?]

Barney nodded, smiling. “Oh, yeah, did I not mention? Him and Eli are both still kicking, still continuing with their scientific research. Alyx, too—you remember Alyx, right?” At Gordon’s nod, he continued. “She’s grown a little since you last saw her, I bet. She’s a fine young woman now, I think you two would really get along. God, they’ll be over the moon to see you. Haven’t told ‘em, yet.”

At the thought of seeing his mentors again, Gordon’s mood immediately lifted. During his quiet moments in escaping Black Mesa, he’d wondered how the two of them had fared, and he was very glad to know they had both made it out alive. They’d even managed to get Alyx out safely!

“We can see ‘em, if you’d like. Kleiner’s lab is pretty close to here and Eli’s ain’t that far, especially once we get the teleporter up and running. Bet they’ll both be talking your ear off about the science behind teleportation. Can’t say I understand it very much, though.”

Gordon smiled at the thought. The normalcy of talking about physics with Kleiner and Eli would be very much appreciated right now. And he was very excited to see the teleportation technology that Barney mentioned. He’d always been interested in that at Black Mesa. If he’d known a little earlier that they were already working on it, he might’ve put in a transfer request. [I’d like that.]

Barney grinned in response. “Great! We should probably leave pretty soon; easier to sneak past the CPs when it’s dark. Let me grab you a jumper and a weapon—assuming you’re up for it?”

Hesitantly, Gordon nodded. He had grown far too familiar with guns over the past week (or twenty years, he supposed) for his liking, but being armed was probably pretty helpful when surrounded by things that want to kill you. At least he had experience with them.

Barney smiled at the scientist, then left the room. He came back a few minutes later, holding a puffer jacket that looked like it was more patches than original material at this point, and a pistol. He handed Gordon the jacket first, then gave him the gun.

“Only thing I’ve got lying round,” he said, motioning to the pistol. “Bit basic, but it’ll do the trick.”

Gordon waved him off. [This is fine,] he signed, then checked the magazine. He hoped ammo was plentiful around here; he wasn’t a great shot, especially under pressure.

Once Gordon had checked over his new equipment, Barney rubbed his hands together. “Ready to roll?”

[I think so,] Gordon said, then shrugged. He wasn’t sure what to expect from the wider world. If City 17 was anything to go by, he doubted he would recognise it. [Where are we, by the way? In the world, I mean.]

“Oh, no one’s one hundred percent sure, to be honest. Eli thinks it’s somewhere in Eastern Europe, ‘cause of the language used on the old signs.” He shrugged. “It borders the sea, too, which narrows things down too, but I was never great at geography.”

Gordon nodded. He had known they weren’t in America anymore, at least. So, not only had he travelled twenty years into the future, but he’d also travelled several thousand miles across the globe. Yet another thing to get his head round.

Barney made his way over to the apartment door. After glancing back at Gordon once more, he opened it and stepped into the corridor, Gordon following close behind.

It was a quiet night, although they usually were. Anyone that wasn’t sleeping was automatically suspicious in the eyes of the Combine, and that was grounds enough to be beaten and arrested. Assuming they caught you, of course.

Barney had a lot of experience sneaking around at night. When he’d first started at Civil Protection, nightfall was the only time he felt safe moving between the City and rebel outposts. Nowadays, he was a lot more comfortable with going unseen and knew how to avoid suspicion. He knew where CPs patrolled and where they did not, and he knew when shift changes were, too.

This information had proved invaluable to the Resistance. And even though Barney hated his job—really, truly despised it—he knew the Resistance would not be anywhere near as strong as they were without him and others like him who risked their life for information.

The job was horrible, but it did have a few perks. For instance, once the Combine had started to trust him, the uniform was basically a free pass to do whatever the hell he wanted, as long as it looked like it was furthering the Combine’s agenda. In practice, he never did anything of the sort. If he’d heard there was going to be a raid on an apartment building, he could get there a few minutes early—under the guise of enthusiasm—and warn the occupants.

This, of course, only worked when Barney could explain his actions away. If, for example, he was caught walking, unmasked and unarmed, with the civilian who escaped interrogation a few hours earlier… Yeah, he was fucked.

So, of course, that is exactly what happened.

At this time of night, the route to Kleiner’s would usually be deserted. But apparently the Combine had taken the threat of an escaped civilian more seriously than he’d thought. Either that or they had figured out what Barney had done and were looking for him now.

The reason didn’t really matter. The important thing was a CP officer had seen them exiting an alley and was now pulling out a gun and running towards them.

Barney raised his own gun and shot the CP before they could get any closer. The last thing they needed was the officer broadcasting their location to the Combine. The sound of a flatlining heart rate monitor filled the alley, reminding Barney of exactly what he had done.

Gordon grimaced at the body and wondered what Barney had gone through in the last twenty years to be able to kill without hesitation or feeling.

“C’mon, Doc, we gotta go. Combine’ll be investigatin’ the death, soon. Don’t wanna get caught.” He jerked a finger down a small, dark street that lead to another apartment block. “There’s a way through there. Follow me.”

Gordon nodded and jogged behind Barney as they entered the apartment.

They bounded up the stairs to the top floor when they came to a locked door. Barney knocked on it in a particular rhythm and it opened to reveal a civilian standing behind it.

“Can we get to the roof?” Barney asked. “CPs are looking for us, they might do a sweep of the apartments soon.”

The man stepped aside to let them through. “’Course, go ahead, Calhoun. And thanks for the warning, I’ll tell everyone as soon as you’re through.”

“Thanks, Ricky. Hope everyone stays safe,” Barney replied, stepping into the room with Gordon close behind.

“Good luck to you two, too.”

And with that, the man left, shutting the door behind him.

The room they were alone in was small and looked deserted. The wallpaper was peeling off the walls in most places, revealing colonies of mould growing underneath. On one side of the room there was a staircase that led up to a crumbling wooden roof. The only sign that anyone had been in this room was the chair and portable radio sat in the corner.

“Ricky’s a member of the Resistance,” Barney explained. “He helps people escape whenever he can and keeps an eye on the comings and goings of the Combine.”

[Is that why you’re a CP?] Gordon asked, fingerspelling the name. Barney made a mental note to teach him the signs for the new words later, when they were in less immediate danger. [To get inside information?]

Barney smiled and puffed out his chest. “Yep! Y’know, we watched all those spy movies in Black Mesa, but I never thought I’d actually get to go undercover.”

Gordon cocked his head. He knew Barney was trying to make a joke, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. [I’m sorry you had to do that. It must have been hard.]

Barney’s smile faltered slightly. “Well, I won’t lie to you, Doc, the job’s not great. But you don’t gotta apologise for it; it ain’t your fault. If it helps the Resistance and helps keep my friends safe, then it’s absolutely worth it.”

For a while, Gordon didn’t say anything. Barney watched patiently as he started signing something, then gave up halfway through a word. [What if… it was my fault…?]

“Huh? Now why would you say something like that?”

[I was the one in the test chamber that day. I pushed the sample into the laser. I did this.]

Barney shook his head fiercely. “Nuh uh. Listen to me, Gordon: this was not your fault, okay? No one blames you for this.” He ran a hand through his hair. “See, we don’t exactly know what happened at Black Mesa that day. There was so much shit happening behind the scenes and above your paygrade that you couldn’t possibly hope to change what happened that day. It could’ve been anyone in that test chamber—in that HEV suit—and the outcome would have been exactly the same.”

Gordon didn’t reply, too busy thinking over what Barney had said.

“Eli and Kleiner blame themselves too, I think. They never said it out loud, but I’ve heard ‘em talking about how they should’ve stopped the test from going ahead. But you remember how much of a hardass Breen was, don’t you? He wouldn’t have paid any attention to them. All he cared about was his test results.” Barney paused, listening out for any approaching Combine. When he didn’t hear anything, he continued. “Besides, we definitely wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, Gordon. Who launched that rocket to close the portal to Xen? And who went to Xen and killed that massive fuckin’ alien?”

Gordon looked away from Barney; the admiration in his eyes was too much to handle.

“You, Gordon Freeman, single handedly saved all our asses on that day, and we would not be here if you hadn’t risked your own life to save ours. I know it’s hard, but we can’t change the past. No one is going to hate you because you did your best, okay?”

[I didn’t want this to happen. I thought it’d all go back to normal once we’d closed the portal.]

“You and me both, Doc. The Combine had other plans for us, though. Not to mention whoever kept you in stasis… A man in a blue suit, you said?” Barney trailed off in thought. Why did that sound so familiar…?

His train of thought was cut off by the sound of a door being kicked in and trigger-happy gunshots from downstairs. Gordon flinched at the sudden noise, looking at Barney.

“Ah, shit. That’s our cue, I suppose. We’ll talk about this more later, okay? Kleiner’s probably got a good coping method, if you wanna talk to him about it.”

[I think I’d like that.] Gordon smiled.

Barney smiled in response. “Alright, you ready to go?”

At Gordon’s affirmative nod, Barney took off up the stairs with Gordon close behind.

They emerged into the decaying roof they had seen from below. Entire planks had fallen away from the ceiling and left a window to the dark night sky. The moon cast a pale blue glow over the whole scene, illuminating it just enough for them to pick their way across the deteriorating floorboards.

Barney made his way over to a large hole in the side of the roof which opened on to the tiled roof of a different building. He jumped the small gap between them with practised ease. Gordon followed close behind.

From the top of the buildings, Gordon could see the full extent of the Combine’s invasion. The entire city looked like a ghost town, even though he was sure there were people living in it. The only light came from the moon and the dark blue glow of the Combine technology they’d set up in the streets, like the forcefield looking thing. Only a fraction of the stars were still visible. Gordon didn’t know if it was due to light pollution or something much scarier, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to find out.

From behind the building they had just left, there was a horrible droning noise that sounded vaguely like a helicopter.

Barney recognised the noise and tensed up. “Oh, you’ve got to be fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” he hissed under his breath.

Gordon looked at him and raised an eyebrow. [What is that?]

Barney bit his lip, looking back into the open rooftop. Through the walls, they could hear the distinct sound of CPs shouting orders and people screaming in terror. Then there was the sound of gunfire and a few of the screams died out. Barney winced and mentally apologised to any lives cut short in that moment. He looked back at Gordon’s expectant face. “Yeah… That’s a gunship. No way to sugar-coat it.”

Gordon’s eyes widened almost comically. [Gun… ship. C-O-M-B-I-N-E?]

Barney nodded tersely. “Their aim’s not very accurate, but it hurts like a bitch if you do get hit.” He looked up to see the hulking silhouette of the gunship rising above the roofs a few streets down. “Come on, Doc, we gotta go.”

Barney stuck out a hand for Gordon. The other man stared at it, questioningly, before slowly grasping it with his own hand. Gordon’s stomach fluttered at the blinding grin Barney shot his way, before he was nearly dragged off his feet by the man.

Barney ran along the rooftops like he’d done it a million times before, knowing exactly where it was safe to stand and where you’d go right through the ceiling. Gordon was less graceful, tripping over several loose tiles on his way, but Barney was always there to steady him and offer him a reassuring smile.

The first shot from the gunship embedded itself in a chimney much too close to Gordon for comfort. He flinched as the bricks shattered and tumbled to the ground below. More shots began to rain down on them, and Gordon sped up as much as he could handle, not wanting to end up like that chimney. He and Barney ran at the same pace, still holding hands, towards the end of the roof.

“We gotta jump this one!” Barney shouted over the roar of gunfire behind them. “Okay?”

Instead of answering, Gordon willed himself to run faster. He wasn’t exactly scared of heights, but he didn’t want to fall from the top of this building, either.

As the end of the roof quickly approached, Gordon kept his eye on the ledge where he was aiming to land. At the last possible moment, he jumped.

For one terrifying moment, Gordon wasn’t sure if he’d make it. Time seemed to slow around him as he flew through the air. The last time he’d had to jump like this was on Xen, where gravity was much weaker. What he wouldn’t give to have that long jump module back…

And then, just as quickly as it had started, his toes touched down on the concrete ledge around the top of the building.

Barney landed next to him and took a few steps forward to get away from the edge. He squeezed Gordon’s hand as a reassurance.

Just as Gordon was about to breathe a sigh of relief, the gunship spewed another round of energy pulses. He heard Barney hiss out a breath but before he could ask what was wrong, Gordon was pulled to the left to follow him.

“Just through here…” Barney said as they rounded a corner on the thin ledge.

Set into the side of the roof were two large windows. The glass had long since been shattered and the room inside looked deserted, but at the very least it would provide cover from the gunship. Barney stood to the side to let Gordon through first.

Gordon let go of Barney’s hand to jump into the room. He quickly got out of the view of the windows as Barney followed him through. He leant with his hands on his knees and tried to catch his breath.

Barney motioned stiffly to the lift in the corner of the room, breathing heavily. “Gotta go down to the bottom floor,” he explained, pressing a button to open the doors.

Gordon eyed Barney’s shoulder. The uniform was torn where a shot from the gunship had ripped through it. He could see blood seeping out of an open wound below the uniform. [You’re hurt,] he signed, following Barney into the lift.

Barney looked at his shoulder as if he hadn’t noticed the injury. “This? Oh, this is nothing, don’tcha worry about it.”

Gordon’s eyebrows drew together. [Keep pressure on it,] he said, guiding Barney’s free hand to his shoulder.

Barney chuckled. “Heh, ‘n’ I thought you were a physics doctor, not a medical one.” He followed the order, anyway, hissing slightly as his hand came into contact with the wound.

Gordon shot a glare at the other man. Before he could come up with a smart retort, the lift came to a stop and the doors squeaked open.

They now faced an empty brick room. Gordon glanced around, looking for the next room, but all he could see was cracking walls and a few disintegrating posters. He turned back to Barney to find him smirking at him, still holding his shoulder.

“You thought it would be easy to find the lab? We’ve got a proper hidden room set up, the sorta shit you only see in movies.” He walked over to the poster of Breen on the back wall and muttered an insult under his breath. He placed a hand on the underside of a fuse box and looked back at Gordon, grinning. “Open sesame,” he said as he pressed a hidden button and an entire panel of the wall swung out.

Gordon gaped at it.

Barney laughed. “Thought you’d like it. But that’s not even the best part! Follow me.” He walked through the door into a thin corridor, Gordon in tow. The door swung closed behind them.

At the end of the small corridor there was another concrete wall with a number pad set into the wall beside it. Barney punched a code into it and the end panel swung open, just like the first door.

[Won’t the Combine follow us down here?] Gordon asked.

“Nah,” Barney shook his head. “They’ve never gotten past the first door and we use this place a lot when we piss ‘em off. You’re safe here.” He replied, letting Gordon out of the corridor and closing the door.

Now, they stood in yet another brick room. This one, however, had two vending machines standing against the wall, selling something called ‘Dr Breen’s Private Reserve’. Gordon wasn’t sure he wanted to know what that was.

“Now, for the pièce de résistance,” Barney said, absolutely butchering the words as he walked backwards to one of the vending machines. “Would ya like a drink, Gordy?”

Gordon raised an eyebrow at him.

He pulled a coin out from his back pocket and put it in the slot, then typed in a code. He hit the machine twice on the side with his good hand, just for good measure.

Just as Gordon was expecting a bottle of some unnamed liquid to drop out from the hatch, the entire vending machine swung towards him, revealing an entrance to a much more decorated room. Gordon looked over at Barney, mouth agape. [This is… insane.]

Barney smiled. “Everything you ever wanted from a hidden liar, right? I insisted Kleiner installed all the extra protection. Turns out all those movie marathons weren’t a complete waste of time, after all.”

[This is… Kleiner’s lab?] Gordon asked, stepping into the room. It was nowhere near the types of labs he was familiar with in Black Mesa, and it was very obvious that someone was using it for personal use too. However, the room had a certain… charm to it.

Gordon vaguely recognised some of the items in the room from his time at Black Mesa. He immediately pinned the pair of machines on the left wall as Kleiner’s pet project: personal teleportation. He was always interested by the blueprints the scientist left haphazardly around his office.

By the looks of things, Kleiner had finally got the thing working. Unable to help himself, Gordon picked up a small potted cactus and placed it on one of the machines. He pushed the biggest button he could see. After a moment of whirring, a bright light surrounded the cactus and it disappeared. A second later, the same light appeared on the machine next to it, and the cactus dropped on to the plate there.

He turned round to Barney excitedly, pointing at the teleport. [He got it working!?]

Barney chuckled. “Yeah, a few years ago, now. We’ve moved on to bigger fish recently, but I’m sure Kleiner will want to be the one to introduce it. Speaking of which, he should be around here, somewhere.”

Along one side of the room there was a huge machine whose purpose Gordon could only guess at. Barney walked around it to reveal a door, which he knocked on.

“Doc? You in there? I got a surprise out here!”

Behind the door there was the faint sound of shuffling, then an unmistakable voice shouted for Barney to wait a minute.

Gordon shifted his weight in anticipation. Although he felt like he’d only seen Kleiner a few days ago, the man himself hadn’t seen Gordon in twenty years. He was nervous, though he wasn’t quite sure why.

And then, the door before them opened to show an older but still utterly recognisable Isaac Kleiner, stood in slightly ratty blue pyjamas. He adjusted his glasses and looked expectantly at Barney, who simply stepped aside with a smile to reveal Gordon Freeman himself.

For a second, Kleiner didn’t recognise the man stood in front of him. The face was ringing all sorts of bells inside his head, but he couldn’t—

Kleiner’s hand dropped to his side as he squinted at the man. “Gordon Freeman?”

Gordon smiled at his mentor and raised a hand to wave at him.

“Great Scott!” Kleiner exclaimed. “It really is you!” He stepped forward and pulled Gordon into a hug. “Where have you been, boy?”

Gordon melted into the hug as Barney spoke up from behind.

“It’s… kinda a long story,” he said. “Is Alyx around? She should hear this too.”

Kleiner pulled back from the hug and stood up straight, leaving one hand on Gordon’s shoulder. “Ah, she went outside to see what had stirred up the Combine. I assume that was you two?” At Gordon’s sheepish expression, Kleiner laughed. “Some things never change… Alyx should be back any minute. In the meantime, is there anything I can get you, Gordon?”

[Barney needs a first aid kit,] Gordon answered, glancing at the man’s shoulder.

Kleiner tutted. “Can you not stay out of trouble for one day, Barney? Feels like only yesterday I was cleaning up that scar of yours…” he muttered, walking over to one of the cupboards in the room and pulling out a vial of luminous green liquid.

Barney rolled his eyes. “’S’not even that bad, Doc.” He accepted the vial that Kleiner offered him. “Gordon’s worrying over nothing.”

Gordon pointed at the green goop. [What’s that?] he asked.

“Ah. Yeah.” Barney looked at Gordon. “Didja ever see antlions? Waist-high, cricket-looking things? Don’t really look like ants or lions, but…”

Gordon wracked his memory for an alien that fit that description. When he couldn’t recall any, he shook his head slowly.

Barney nodded. “Yeah, I think they appeared sometime after the seven-hour war… Anyway, they lay little larvae called Grubs. ‘N’ someone discovered, if you mush ‘em up, they’re pretty good at healing wounds. Barely even bother with traditional first aid, anymore.” At Gordon’s skeptical look, Barney continued. “Just think of it like those health stations ‘round Black Mesa. Same sorta technology.”

[And you just… rub it on the wound?]

“Gotta make sure it’s clean and in the right position but yeah, pretty much. You wanna do the honours?” He held the vial of green out to Gordon.

Cautiously, Gordon accepted. He eyed the luminous slime warily. Barney swore by it, though, so it probably wasn’t too dangerous. [Feels like science fiction,] Gordon said as Barney pulled his top off.

“Yeah, I thought that for the first few years, too. You get used to it eventually.” He grabbed a clean-ish cloth from one of the tables and dampened it with a water bottle. He rubbed blindly at his shoulder before Gordon held out a hand for the rag.

Gordon was a lot more careful when he cleaned. His movements were a lot more precise and wary of hurting Barney. He had one hand on Barney’s back for balance, while the other worked to remove any dirt or other grime that had fallen into the open wound.

Despite the stinging pain in his shoulder where the cloth touched the gash, Barney found himself relaxing into Gordon’s touch. The heat from the man’s hand at his back was quickly spreading and Barney closed his eyes, content to just let himself enjoy the feeling of Gordon’s hands on him. Completely platonically, of course. Nothing more.

Gordon tapped him on the chest to get his attention. [How do I do the slime?] he asked.

Barney smiled at the wording. “Just get some on your fingers and smother it over the wound. The skin’ll start to absorb it. If it’s not completely healed, then just add more on top of it. Don’t worry about using too much, it doesn’t do any harm.”

Gordon nodded. Hesitantly, he stuck his fingers in the vial and pulled out a dollop of goop. It felt… weirdly nice. It was warm and slightly tingly. He tried not to think about where it came from. He wiped it onto Barney’s shoulder and watched as the skin slowly stitched itself back together before his eyes.

Barney let his eyes slip closed as he leant back into Gordon’s touch. He rarely got moments like this, anymore. When he wasn’t in immediate danger being a member of the Resistance, he was usually trying to keep his stress levels under control as a CP officer.

If he tried hard enough, Barney could almost pretend this was just another day at Black Mesa. His memories of the place were starting to blur but he knew that, on more than one occasion, he’d done something dumb and needed Gordon to patch him up. Despite the man’s protests that he wasn’t a medical doctor, he sure knew his stuff when it came to first aid.

Just as Barney started to get lost in the feeling of Gordon’s hand on his skin, a chime rang through the room that signalled someone was approaching the lab. On instinct, Barney cracked an eye open to check the monitor to see who it was.

Kleiner had the same idea, walking over to the collection of screens to check it out. “Ah, there she is!” he said, turning round to face the other two men. “Alyx is back, gentlemen.”

At the sound of Kleiner’s voice, Gordon’s hand moved away from Barney’s shoulder like he’d been burned. Barney tried to check if he was okay, but Gordon was staring resolutely at the door Alyx would be entering through at any moment.

Deciding he’d ask later; Barney sighed and ran a hand over his shoulder. It felt like it had healed nicely, and it wasn’t stinging anymore, so that was probably a good sign. He’d know soon enough if he’d need any extra treatment for it. He pulled his top back over his head and stretched out the muscles in his shoulder.

The fake vending machine swung open to reveal Alyx Vance, looking slightly more dishevelled than when Barney had left her this morning. He smiled at her.

Alyx beamed when she caught his eye. “Ah, good, you’re in here! Was that you who raised hell out there? Combine are out for blood!”

Her ability to say something so scary with such an excited tone never failed to impress Barney. Knowing her, she was just happy she got to provoke the Combine even further. He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Hey, it was mostly Gordon this time!”

Gordon shot a scandalised look at Barney, hand over his chest. Barney just laughed at him.

Alyx gaped. “Gordon? As in Gordon Freeman? The Gordon Freeman!?” She looked at Barney. “Holy shit! This is great news!”

Kleiner huffed “Language,” under his breath, while Barney smiled at her, then looked at Gordon again. “Isn’t it?” he said, a tad too tenderly.

Alyx stuck her hand out for Gordon. He hesitated, then shook it, smiling at her.

“I’m Alyx Vance, you used to work with my dad at Black Mesa? You probably don’t remember me, though.”

[No, I remember you,] Gordon signed, then stopped to look at Alyx. Did she know ASL?

“Oh, it’s okay! Barney taught me sign language years ago. Loads of the Resistance ‘round here will know it; being able to communicate silently is very useful.”

Gordon smiled at Barney, silently thanking him. He turned back to Alyx. [I remember you. Eli let me and Barney babysit a few times. We’d just been at your 4th birthday party before… all this happened.]

“Huh, you actually remember all that?”

At this, Barney spoke up. “Yeah, that’s the thing, Alyx.” He beckoned Kleiner over, too. “See, Gordon hasn’t… been here for the last twenty years.”

Kleiner readjusted his glasses. “Well, we had assumed so. We spent a long time looking for you, Gordon. Barney never believed you’d died in Black Mesa.”

“Well, the Vorts were always talking about how The Free Man would one day return,” Alyx added, doing a poor impression of a Vortigaunt.

At this, Gordon quirked an eyebrow. [Hold on. What?]

“Right, so, you know how I explained that the Vortigaunts are now on our side?” Barney asked. “Well, they kinda idolise you now.”

[Why?] Gordon asked. [I killed so many of them.] He winced as he said it.

“So did everyone at Black Mesa, Doc. The Vorts say you freed them from a life of servitude, though, and they’ve been awaiting your return, too. They think it’s the start of something good for us all.”

Slowly, Gordon nodded. That was another thing he’d have to work through later.

“If you don’t mind me asking, though, Gordon,” Kleiner started. “Where exactly have you been all these years?”

Gordon looked at Barney, then back to Kleiner and Alyx. [I’m not really sure. Barney said it sounded like stasis. All I know is that one moment I was in Xen, a few days after the Resonance Cascade, and then suddenly I was on a train headed to City 17.]

Kleiner stroked his chin. “Interesting… I had heard theories about such a thing…” he trailed off, retreating to his desk to file through his notes and books.

“So, it’s like you slept through the last twenty years?” Alyx asked.

Gordon nodded. [It’s like they just didn’t happen for me.]

“Oh, so that’s why you still look exactly the same as in Kleiner’s old photo.” She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder to where the photo hung on the wall.

Gordon stepped over there to inspect it. He remembered when this photo was taken; it was only a few days before the Resonance Cascade, when they’d gotten confirmation of the sample and were told to go ahead with the test. Even though Breen’s face was scratched off and crossed out, he could still remember exactly what he’d looked like in the photo. Kleiner had been very fond of it, and kept it framed on his desk. He was glad to see it had made it out of Black Mesa relatively unscathed.

Gordon supposed it was probably one of the last photos taken of the AnoMat team. Hell, going by what Barney had told him, it was probably one of the few photos that had survived the Black Mesa Incident. [If I’d known that would be the last photo anyone ever took of me, I would’ve put more effort into my appearance,] he joked.

Barney, who was standing behind his shoulder, laughed. “Heh, I would’ve fought harder to get in the photo if I’d known.”

Gordon grinned, looking at Barney. [Oh yeah, you were just stood behind the camera sulking because they wouldn’t let you in!]

“They said I wasn’t part of the Science Team; can you believe that?”

[Well, seeing as you were actually a part of the Security Team, yes, I can.]

“Hey, I had been there longer than Sam and Marshall combined! I was a part of the AnoMat Team in everything but name!”

[You even ditched your patrol to come visit us so much that they just assigned you to Sector C.]

Barney burst out laughing. “Oh, wow, I forgot that happened! Damn, I’m genuinely surprised they didn’t fire me, to be honest.”

[We all were.] Gordon looked back at the photo. It was hanging crooked, so he readjusted it. Next to him, Barney smiled knowingly.

The wall made a clicking noise, followed by the sound of gears whirring. Then, before his eyes, the wall opened up to reveal another secret room.

For a moment, Gordon was stunned. Then he turned to Barney and said, [Are there any more of these I should know about?]

Barney laughed. “I don’t think so, Doc, but you know what Kleiner’s like!”

At the mention of his name, Kleiner looked over at the pair. “Ah, I see you found the teleporter room! Very astute, Gordon.”

Gordon was going to mention how he was just trying to make the photo look better, and how any decent human being would probably have done the same thing, but he decided it wasn’t worth it. He poked his head into the new room to see a huge metal structure taking up the entire wall at one end. [I assume that’s the teleporter?]

Kleiner over to one of the control panels on the wall. “Exactly so! Our lovely Alyx had just installed the final piece yesterday, so she should be good to go.”

[You’re going to teleport someone now?] Gordon had used a teleport back in Black Mesa. Quite a few of them, in fact. This teleport… did not look like any of them. It was very obviously homemade and lacked Black Mesa’s quality, but he had to admit it was impressive for the apocalyptic hellscape outside.

“Tomorrow morning, hopefully! Alyx has volunteered for the first run, as we’re currently only linked to Eli’s lab. But if this is successful, then it will do wonders for the Resistance! The Railroad is very susceptible to Combine interference. Provided we can keep this safe from them, we’ll be able to travel from here to Black Mesa East in no time at all!”

“Speaking of, Doc,” Barney interrupted. “Don’tcha think Eli’d like to see Gordon too?”

“Oh, yes, you’re right, Barney.” Kleiner pressed a few buttons on the control panel in front of him, bringing a screen above him to life. He checked his watch. “It’s not too late, he’s probably still awake, tinkering with his side of the teleport.” Under his breath, he added, “Preposterous man…”

Gordon wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear the last part. He remembered the tone from Black Mesa; Kleiner had often sounded a little awestruck whenever he talked about Eli. Gordon tapped Barney on the elbow and raised an eyebrow in Kleiner’s direction. A silent question.

Barney smiled and shook his head. He added an eye roll for good measure, while Kleiner still had his back turned to them. [No change,] Barney signed. [He’s still pining.]

Gordon shot a sympathetic look to Kleiner’s back. He knew how the man felt. It would be hypocritical of him to offer advice when he knew he wouldn’t be following it himself.

A crackle ran through the speakers set by the monitors, drawing Gordon’s attention back to the screens. One of them was flickering on and off, but the static on the rest of them slowly cleared to reveal Eli’s face. He grinned when he saw Kleiner.

“Ah, Izzy, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Eli said. The speaker quality was a little rough, but he sounded almost exactly how Gordon remembered. He looked pretty similar, too. More greys in his hair and some more wrinkles on his face, maybe, but still the same man Gordon had left at Black Mesa.

“Eli! We’ve got a little surprise for you!” Kleiner said, stepping out of the frame.

Eli squinted at his screen. “Is that who I think it is?” he asked, disbelief evident in his voice. “Gordon Freeman? That is you, isn’t it?”

Gordon smiled and waved at what he assumed was the camera.

Eli laughed. “Good God, man! Look at you! You look like you haven’t aged a day since Black Mesa!”

Kleiner stepped back into frame. “Yes, there may actually be a reason for that,” he said. “I’ll explain everything later, and I’ve got a theory I wanted to run past you about it all.”

“Alright, Izz. Are we still scheduled for the teleport test tomorrow?”

Kleiner nodded. “Assuming nothing goes wrong, of course. Gordon and Barney caused a bit of a stir getting out of the city, so we’re just waiting for the Combine to cool down.”

Eli laughed again. “Well, I’d expect nothing less from Black Mesa’s two most troublesome employees!” He smiled, looking between everyone in the room. “Alyx is… there, right?”

As if on cue, Alyx stuck her head through the doorway. “Hey Dad! Sorry, just keeping an eye on the CP frequencies. They’re still looking for Gordon, and I’m pretty sure Barney’s been fired.”

Barney winced. “Yeah, I kinda got that vibe from them too. After they, y’know, tried to kill me.”

Kleiner sighed. “I’m sure we’ll survive a few days without a plant before we find a replacement.”

“Have the Combine found the lab yet, sweetie?” Eli asked.

Alyx shook her head. “Nah, but they’re still crawling up there. Probably shouldn’t go outside for a few hours, at least.”

Eli nodded in agreement. “Good idea. Alright, Gordon, Barney, I’ll let you go now. I’m sure you’ve had an eventful day. Seriously though, it was good to see you.”

Gordon smiled at him. [It’s good to see you, too, Eli. Have a good night.]

Barney waved at the camera too. “See ya tomorrow, Doc.”

Eli looked to his daughter. “Alyx, you should have been in bed hours ago.”

Alyx rolled her eyes. “I’m not a kid anymore, Dad. Besides, I was sleeping until Barney and Gordon woke up the entire area with a gunship.”

Barney smirked at them as he left the room with Gordon. Behind them, he heard Kleiner explaining Gordon’s situation to the other scientist.

“Alright, Gordon,” Barney said. “You tired yet? We haven’t got the most luxurious beds in the world, but they’ll do the job.”

Gordon thought about it. He wasn’t exactly tired, especially after he just spent twenty years sleeping, but he would like somewhere private to unwind. [Yes, please.]

Barney smiled, then herded Gordon towards the door Kleiner had come out of earlier. He pushed it open and stepped into a concrete corridor with several other rooms branching off of it, each behind a closed door. He pointed at one of the doors. “That room’s Kleiner’s, and the one next to it is Alyx’s. This one’s mine,” he said, moving his finger to the door opposite Kleiner’s. “So, the last one is yours. We usually let Resistance members crash there whenever they need to, so there’s some basic toiletries and stuff in there that you’re free to use. Oh, and that door at the end of the corridor is the bathroom.”

Gordon took a moment to process all of that. He smiled at Barney. [Thank you.]

“Not a problem, Gord.” He smiled back. “If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask, yeah?”

[I won’t. Goodnight, Barney.]

“G’night, Doc, I’ll see you in the mornin’.”

The next morning, Gordon was the last person in the lab to wake up. By the time he was out of his room, it was almost midday. The others didn’t seem to mind, though, and each greeted him cheerfully.

Gordon hadn’t slept much last night, but that was okay; he really didn’t feel very tired. He spent most of the night trying to get his head round everything that had happened. It was a lot to take in, but he felt a lot better after having some time alone with his thoughts. At one point he’d broken down into tears, but either no one had noticed, or they were all too polite to mention it.

Alyx directed him to where they kept the food when she saw him. She explained that the Combine provided citizens with ration packets, and that she and Barney stole as many of them when they could, but mostly they grew and made everything they ate.

Over a breakfast of homemade bread and soup, Gordon listened to Kleiner explain the science behind the teleport. It was inspiring that they’d made such huge strides with science, despite the world going to shit. And he was excited that he’d get to try it out, too.

Kleiner had said that Eli’s lab was more suited for actual science experiments, and that Gordon would be better off there. Of course, as long as the teleport worked, it wouldn’t really matter anymore, as people could jump between the two labs as they pleased.

During a lull in the conversation, Gordon decided to ask something that had been on his mind since last night. They were alone in the lab; Barney and Alyx had gone outside for their morning exercise, and it seemed like the right moment to ask.

[Hey, Kleiner? How do you… deal with the knowledge that we caused all this?] he asked, internally wincing at how blunt the question was.

Kleiner blew out a breath and rubbed his hands together. “Heh, I had forgotten how good you were at asking hard questions, Gordon.” He paused, considering his answer. “Well, I’d say that time was the most important factor for me. I guess that’s not really an option for you, though. It’s been so long; I can barely even remember what happened at Black Mesa that day. As soon as it became obvious how many deaths there had been because of the Resonance Cascade, and the portal storms, and the Seven Hour War, I—well, I hated myself for being a part of it. I wanted to run away and hide, pretend all this had never happened. Even if each of us were only a tiny part of the whole ordeal, and it was just pure chance that we were involved at all, I still felt like I was responsible.”

Gordon nodded; he understood exactly how Kleiner felt.

“I talked to Eli about it a lot. He kept telling me that there were so many things going on behind the scenes then, that none of us could ever even hope to stop the Resonance Cascade. It took me a while to get what he meant, but it really was a problem created by our superiors. We were just pawns to them, unfortunately. I can’t tell if it was just gross incompetence, or if they wanted something like this to happen, but no matter what we did on that day, the outcome would have been the same. If I had refused to work with the Anti-Mass Spectrometer pushed to its limits like that, or if you had simply called in sick and stayed in bed, they would’ve gotten people to cover for us and everything would have ended up exactly the same. We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Kleiner looked over at the photo of the AnoMat Team on the wall. “I don’t want to hide anymore. I’ve come to terms with what happened twenty years ago, and I’ve accepted it. The only thing I can do now is pledge to make it better. We’ve all been a part of the Resistance since it first formed, and we will run those bastards off of our planet.

“And, if you need someone to blame other than yourself, you can always pin it all on Breen. He’s the one that got us in this mess with the Combine, and he’s certainly not helping us to get out of it. Does that help? Eli might be able to offer some more advice, if you need it, he was always better at being inspirational…”

[That did help. Thanks, Kleiner.] Gordon smiled at him, then went back to his soup, a lot on his mind.

“Anytime, my boy.”

It was another hour or so before Alyx and Barney got back. Gordon spent the time looking around Kleiner’s lab, poking at every machine with a scientific curiosity. Kleiner answered every question he had, from new scientific discoveries to the state of the world at large. It was comforting, in a way. It reminded Gordon of his time at MIT or Black Mesa while working under the man. He liked the sense of normality, he supposed.

Kleiner explained how they had to slowly rebuild their knowledge and documentation of physics, after a majority of it was lost in Black Mesa. They also had all of the new Combine tech to figure out, which was a challenge but ultimately proved very helpful. Now, they had figured out the best ways to neutralise and counterattack most of the Combine’s weapons, and they had even appropriated some of the technology for their own purposes. Gordon wished he’d been there for the more exciting discoveries.

When Barney and Alyx returned, sweaty and breathless, there was a buzz of excitement in the air. This was the closest they’d been to perfecting localised teleportation, and it would prove invaluable to the Resistance, especially considering it put them one above the Combine.

Gordon helped Kleiner with the final calibrations of the teleport as they got closer to activation time.

Halfway through checking his calculations, Kleiner looked up. “Has anyone seen Lamarr? I haven’t seen her since yesterday morning…”

“Damn, I thought you’d gotten rid of that thing…” Barney said under his breath. He put his hands up in surrender when Kleiner levelled a glare at him. “Hey, don’t look at me! I wouldn’t go near that pest if you paid me.”

Alyx chuckled. “I’m sure she’ll turn up, Doc. Maybe she’s just scared of Gordon.”

Gordon raised an eyebrow at her. [Who are we talking about? I’m not scary.]

“Nah, you’re like a cute lil puppy!” Barney laughed. “Kleiner’s got a pet headcrab, if you can believe it. Treats it like a dog ‘n’ everything.”

Kleiner tutted. “Don’t listen to him, Gordon; Barney is simply jealous of Lamarr.” He ignored Barney’s undignified snort. “She’s completely harmless and, unlike her kin, really isn’t that vicious.”

Gordon nodded slowly. He couldn’t say he was surprised at Kleiner somehow modifying a headcrab to make it cuddlier, but it wasn’t something he had expected, either. It was obvious that the scientist cared for her a whole lot, but if she jumped on to Gordon while he was sleeping, he would not be held responsible for whatever happened next. Maybe he’d get lucky, and she’d stay hidden away until he got to Eli’s.

Barney rolled his eyes at Kleiner, then remembered something else. “Oh, Doc, Gordon’s goin’ to Eli’s, right? D’ya think we should get him outta his civvies now, or…?”

Kleiner looked confused. “Huh? Oh! Right, yes! Go ahead, Barney, I’ll let you do the honours.”

Barney shot him a thumbs up, then walked over to a large cupboard-esque thing set into the wall. He punched a code into the lock beside it, then beckoned Gordon over.

As the door retracted and the lights turned on, Gordon was met with the sight of something he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to see again: the HEV suit.

The suit had undoubtedly been the main reason Gordon had survived Black Mesa. Without it, he probably would have died the second the Resonance Cascade had happened and for that, he was grateful. However, it also served as a reminder of everything that happened at Black Mesa. It was heavy, and uncomfortable, and left bruises wherever it didn’t fit right, but Gordon couldn’t quell the sense of comfort he felt at seeing it again.

He stepped forward to examine the suit closer, and then a headcrab shrieked.

Without thinking, Gordon reached for a crowbar, a pistol, whatever he had on him, but he’d left Barney’s gun in his room. He looked up to see the headcrab rear on its hind legs and pounce.

Barney shouted in alarm as he brought his hands up to cover his face. He caught the headcrab mid-jump and threw it roughly to the ground. “Damnit, get it offa me!”

Kleiner looked over to see what all the commotion was. “Lamarr!” he gasped, seeing the headcrab sulking away from Barney. “There you are, my sweet!” He picked her up and, to Gordon’s surprise, she didn’t attempt to escape. Maybe she was more of a pet than he had assumed.

Barney audibly shook himself out. He stuck a middle finger up at Lamarr, who hissed as if she was genuinely offended by it. She stood up in Kleiner’s arms and jumped on to the balcony above them.

Kleiner glared at Barney, then turned to face his retreating pet. “Oh, Lamarr, do come down from there…” he pleaded, patting his head to try and sway the headcrab away from the delicate equipment stored up there.

Lamarr did not listen, and instead jumped up into an open air vent. Gordon was reminded of how many headcrabs he encountered in vents in Black Mesa and shivered.

“Oh, fie! It’ll be another week before I can coax her down from there!”

Barney snorted. “Yeah, longer, if we’re lucky.”

Just as the scientist was about to argue, Alyx stuck her head round the corner. “Alright, pack it up. Dad says he’s all done on his end, and he’s ready to go when we are.”

Kleiner brightened almost instantly. “Ah, perfect! Go get your suit on, Gordon, and we’ll finish everything else up.”

Gordon turned back to the HEV suit, with Barney still stood next to it. [It looks different,] he said, pointing at the suit.

“Yeah, Kleiner started fixing it up after we found it a few months ago. It’s been his pet project since then. I think he’s added some new features, too, but you’ll have to ask him for any specifics.” Barney paused. “…You need any help putting it on?”

The HEV suit was, normally, a two-person job. Barney had been trained in the application and removal of the suit back in Black Mesa and had frequently joined Gordon in his training sessions. [You still remember how it goes together?]

“Uh… More or less?”

[…I’d like that.]

Barney did, in fact, not remember how the HEV suit went together. He knew the basic order of the pieces, but the exact locations of every latch and fastening had been forgotten at some point in the last twenty years.

He had hoped he’d get to spend a bit of time alone with Gordon, running his hands along the man’s shoulders and biceps like he used to do in Black Mesa.

Instead, he had to keep asking Gordon exactly how these two pieces fit together while Gordon had to try and explain the intricate locking mechanisms that kept the whole thing from falling apart. The only thing that kept Barney from asking Kleiner to finish it off was pure stubbornness.

In the end, though, they got it on. It took much longer than it was supposed to, but Gordon had given himself a once over and flashed Barney a grin and a thumbs up when he was happy with it.

Barney pointedly ignored how his stomach flipped at Gordon’s smile and instead breathed a sigh of relief. “Fuck, I forgot how much work that thing was.”

Gordon smiled again. [You should try wearing it.]

“Does it fit okay? I’m sure we’ve got time to make some last-minute adjustments—”

[Barney. It’s fine. Exactly like the old one. Thank you for helping me.]

“Hey, no worries, Doc. …Oh! Wait here a sec; I gotta grab something!” Barney said, then dashed off to his room.

Not a minute later, he returned, crowbar in hand.

“Thought you might want a little something to complete the look,” he said, handing the crowbar over to Gordon.

Gordon accepted it, then inspected it closer. He held it up, like he was going to swing, and posed for Barney’s enjoyment.

“There’s the saviour of the world that we all know and love! And, uh, the orange in that suit really brings out your eyes, y’know?” Barney mentally kicked himself. Why did he say that!?

Gordon flushed pink. He stared at Barney strangely.

The pause hung for a minute, where the two of them just stared at each other to see who would speak first. “R—right, we should, uh, probably get to the teleport, huh? We’ve kept everyone waiting long enough…” he said, attempting to brush past the awkward atmosphere he’d created before his brain could make any more stupid decisions.

For a moment, Gordon looked like he wanted to say something. Instead, he simply nodded and walked over to the teleporter room.

Barney took a few seconds to metaphorically bang his head against a wall before following the scientist. Why did he say that? Just because he’d been thinking it did not mean he wanted it to come out of his mouth! He hadn’t voiced that thought twenty years ago, what was different now?

Maybe the difference was that Barney had lived for twenty years without Gordon and now wanted to make every second between them count. But that didn’t mean that Gordon suddenly liked him back, nor did it give his big mouth permission to start saying stuff like that!

Barney sighed. He’d figure it out later. Maybe he’d even get the courage to talk to Gordon about it. After all, it wasn’t like their time was limited anymore. Gordon was here to stay.

He hoped.

When Barney walked into the teleport room, Eli was already on the screen and was happily chatting away to Alyx and Gordon about something or other. When he saw Barney, he smiled. “Ah, good, everyone’s here! Alyx, you ready?”

“Actually, I thought I’d let Gordon go first. He’s the VIP ‘round here, after all,” she replied.

[Me? I’m not special.]

“Excellent idea, Alyx!” Kleiner added, ignoring Gordon. “And, if something does go wrong, the HEV suit will keep him safer than your clothes would.”

[You’re not exactly filling me with confidence here.]

“Alright, Doc, it’s been decided. Go stand on the platform, we’ll take care of the rest,” Barney said, patting Gordon on the shoulder and pointing at the big metal platform at the bottom of the teleporter. “I promise it’s safe this time.”

[This time?] Gordon parroted, stepping into the teleport. [Are you sure you know what you’re doing?]

Barney waved his hand dismissively. “Ah, my job is to pull the lever. Kleiner is the one you should be worrying about.”

Kleiner tutted, stepping up to one of the consoles in the room and hitting a few buttons. “I’ve triple checked my calculations, Gordon, you have nothing to worry about.”

Gordon decided to believe what Kleiner was saying. The man was forgetful and easily distracted, yes, but Gordon rarely saw him make a mistake with the maths behind a project. When he and Eli worked together, they were truly a remarkable team.

Besides, Gordon had had pretty good luck with teleports so far in his life. He’d only started using them a few days back, but they usually helped him advance towards his goals.

Kleiner pressed a button on his console and metal grates slid closed in front of Gordon. The platform he stood on started to slowly rise, and he had to resist the urge to hold on to something. He came to a stop when he was eye to eye with a menacing looking machine that he assumed created a laser.

“Are you ready on your end, Eli?” Kleiner asked.

“Yep! Send him over, Izzy.”

“Alright. Initialising in… three… two… one.”

Kleiner pressed another button, and more pieces of metal began circling around Gordon. As they got faster, he could feel them trapping him in place with some invisible force.

“Uh, Barney, if you’d be so kind?” Kleiner asked, motioning towards the lever on the wall.

“Oh, ‘course,” Barney said, placing his hand on the lever. “Good luck out there, Gordon.” He saluted, half mockingly and half out of real respect. “I’ll be over as soon as I can, yeah?”

Gordon smiled softly. He saluted Barney back, then waved at Kleiner and Alyx.

Barney threw the switch. The laser-creator above him immediately jumped to life, the barrel at the end lighting up with energy. It started to shoot the energy into the blue field of light that was slowly accumulating around Gordon.

“Bon voyage, Gordon!” Kleiner said, not looking up from one of his monitors. “Final sequence, starting now…”

“Good luck, Gordon!” Alyx added. “I’ll be right behind you!”

“I’ll see you in a sec, Gordon. We’ve got so much to catch up on,” said Eli, voice slightly staticky.

Suddenly, there was the sound of metal scraping against metal, and then an air vent on the ceiling fell open. Gordon watched as a headcrab hung out the bottom of it before gracefully dropping on to one of the machines.

“What the hell?” Barney exclaimed, looking above him as the grate from the vent fell to the floor.

“What is it?” Kleiner asked tersely.

Barney stepped back to get a proper view of the machine. “It’s your pet, the freakin’ headhumper!”

Gordon watched in horror, unable to do anything, as Lamarr stood on her hind legs and jumped towards the teleport. He could vaguely hear Kleiner pleading for the headcrab to stay still, but it was too late.

Gordon felt Lamarr touch his head at the same time the whirring around him reached a peak. His vision flashed blue, then, as it faded away, he realised he wasn’t stood in Kleiner’s lab anymore. He could barely register the sound of the ocean behind him before his vision whited out again.

This time, as he blinked it away, he was back in Kleiner’s lab. The sides of his vision were blurry and tinted blue, but he could just about make out Barney’s figure on the floor, staring up at Gordon worriedly.

“Is Lamarr with him?” Kleiner asked, his voice almost drowned out by the buzzing in Gordon’s ears.

“Forget about that thing!” Barney responded. “How do we get him outta there!?”

Just as Gordon was about to respond, he was whisked away again. This time, his eyesight cleared to reveal Eli Vance standing in front of him, typing frantically on a computer as he asked a woman in a white shirt what was happening.

“There seems to be some sort of interference…” the woman said, glancing between her monitor and Gordon. “Something’s drawing him away!”

“Gordon! Stay put! We’ll get you out of there…” Eli instructed.

Gordon nodded in understanding, but he was back in Kleiner’s lab in the blink of an eye.

Below him, Barney geared up for a sprint. “I’m gettin’ him outta there…”

“Don’t!” Kleiner exclaimed from behind his console. “You can’t just wade into the field; it will peel you apart!”

Reluctantly, Barney stopped running just before he touched the teleport.

From the screen on the wall, Eli spoke. “We just lost Gordon! What’s going on, Izzy?”

“I wish I knew!” Kleiner responded, pushing up his glasses. “I’m encountering unexpected interference!”

“Don’t worry, Gordon!” Gordon tried to focus on Barney’s voice, instead of the chaos happening everywhere else. “We’ll get you out of there, safe and sound, yeah?”

As Gordon brought his hands up to sign something that looked suspiciously like a heart, he disappeared for one final time.