Work Text:
Hueningkai always was a happy student in school. Everyone around him was lifted by his bright and bubbly energy.
“Hyuka, lets go to the school cafe~” Taehyun told Hueningkai
“oooh! yeah lets go, I have to go get my books from the classroom first though — wait here.”
He rushed back to his homeroom to get his science textbook. When he arrived at his desk, he found a note lying inside. curiously, he picked up the note and read it
Nobody likes you, why do you act so happy all of the time? its annoying.
“..okay..”
He put the note down, trying to not let the harsh words get to him.
‘Who would write this..?’
Shaking his head to stop him from thinking about it too much, he took his book and went back to meet up with taehyun.
Taehyun could tell something was up — usually hueningkai would run down the hall and let everyone in the classrooms hear him yelling Taehyun’s name.
“oh, let's go taehyun.” Hueningkai murmured while looking at the ground
Taehyun frowned, “Did something happen in the classroom?”
kai looked up at taehyun and hesitated “nothing happened, lets goooo~ i'm hungry”
Taehyun didn't think much of it, maybe he was just overthinking about it
Everyday it got worse. notes piled in hueningkai’s desk. Hueningkai would notice them, read them, then put them back.
your friends hate you..
nobody likes you
you’re so loud, shut up for once.
worthless.
useless.
the one note that hurt him the most,
nobody cares about you, why are you trying so hard? go kill yourself.
He tried to ignore the notes. He never told anyone about them because he didn’t want to bother anyone and make them worry.
“Huening-ah, class is over.” soobin whispered while poking the younger boy.
Hueningkai had his head down the entire period.
if i showed my face to them, they would make fun of me.
ever since the notes started showing up, Hueningkai stopped coming to class as much. the notes hurt him — but he tried to stay positive so his roommate Yeonjun, wouldn't worry about it either.
-
Yeonjun and Beomgyu were left cleaning the classrooms alone. Yeonjun wiped off the chalkboard carefully to get rid of the previous math equations on the board. Beomgyu cleaned one of the desks and gasped.
“Yeonjun, whos desk is this?” Beomgyu questioned
“hm?”
Yeonjun turned his back to the board and walked to see what beomgyu was talking about.
He was met with the scribbles and words on a desk.
Huening Kai's desk.
the words said
kill yourself
go die
nobody cares
you would be better off dead.
“This is kai’s desk..” yeonjun gasped.
“I didn't see this when we were in class, when did this happen? who did this? who would do this to huening?” Beomgyu snapped.
“I didn't either. He had his head down covering it.”
“Shouldn’t we tell someone?”
“We should, but let’s check up on kai first.”
-
Huening Kai held himself as he sobbed quietly in his room. He'd never let anyone know when he was sad. It was an old habit of his ever since he was young. He kept everything to himself and tried to only be positive around his friends.
Kai’s phone started ringing beside him, it was Beomgyu calling. He quickly wiped his tears away and picked up.
“Hueka are you okay? let's hang out!” Beomgyu tried to play it off casually
“I'm okay, but I'm busy right now, maybe next time?” Huening Kai said in a cute tone to cover up his sniffles
“Oh okay, call me when you’re done!” beomgyu said.
“I will~ goodnight.. i love you Beomgyu” Huening Kai hangs up.
Beomgyu sat confused
‘he only ever tells me that he loves me when he needs something..?’
-
Huening Kai put his phone down and thought about his friends.
‘I don't want to leave them so soon..’ he brought his knees to his chest and cried softly.
He picked up his phone and put in Taehyun’s number.
“Hello?”
“Taehyun.. I love you. Thank you so much for being my best friend. please remember that I will always be by your side” huening kai responded.
“Hyuka? i love you too, is there something wrong? do you want me to come ove-“
Kai hung up, he couldn’t take it much longer and didn’t wanna break down in front of his best friend.
He started texting soobin.
“Soobin, I love you. Thank you for being there for me for so long.”
soobin quickly texted back
“Of course Kai, do you need anything? what's up?”
-
Soobin sent a screenshot of Huening Kai's messages to Yeonjun and Beomgyu with “???”
Beomgyu read the texts and gasped. his phone then rang and he picked up.
“We need to go to Kai’s dorm, now.”
Beomgyu could hear the panic in taehyun’s voice, he immediately grabbed his bag and rushed out of the room.
“Beomgyu! where are you going?”
yeonjun chased after beomgyu wondering why he ran out suddenly.
-
Kai looked through the kitchen pantry for briquettes.
He had enough of the bullying.
He turned on his stove and placed them neatly on a pan.
He sat down on the floor, slowly blinking and breathing heavily.
“This is it. everything will stop hurting in a little while.”
One minute passed, then five, came fifteen. The frail boy had a heavy chest as it slowly rose and fell.
He heard the slight crackling on the stove and a faint voice.
Taehyun's voice.
“Hueningkai! Please open the door!”
The boy outside Kai's door was frantically banging on the door.
“Please… Huening open the door..”
Taehyun fell to his knees bursting into tears, still banging on his door in hope that Hueningkai was alright.
“Taehyun move, I don't have my keys.”
Yeonjun came behind him and started throwing himself against the door trying to break it down.
His desperation made his shoulder ache.
The door cracked slowly after all of the force.
Taehyun pushed the door out of the way and ran inside to Hueningkai’s room.
He looked around the dorm to find the younger boy’s body passed out near his stove.
It got harder to breathe through the passing minutes.
He shook Hueningkai thinking that everything that was happening was some sick joke.
Beomgyu called the police asking for an ambulance.
“Please.. we need help.. my friend hes passed out on the floor, there's some weird ashes on the stove.”
Yeonjun carried HYueningkai out of the apartment and sat the unconscious body on the ground outside.
He sat down beside it and waited for help to come.
As time passed he got more anxious, looking back and forth, to the street and front of him and Hueningkai.
The other boys could have never imagined why some bullies would choose Hueningkai to pick on.
-
Taehyun was the only one that could be in the ambulance with Hueningkai because of the limited space.
“I'll call his mom on the way.” Taehyun waved softly to the three others standing outside of the vehicle before the nurse closed the door.
-
Taehyun was unsure how to explain it to Kai's mother. the phone rang for a minute straight before going to voicemail.
The nurse worked on giving Huening an emergency iv and oxygen mask.
-
They arrived at the hospital. Taehyun never liked the atmosphere there. The lights beamed down on him and made his eyes hurt. He was never religious, but this one time. he prayed that Huening would be alright.
“God, please don’t take my best friend away from me.”
-
The steady beeping of Hueningkai’s heartbeat gave Taehyun a bit of comfort and light in the midst of the sorrow that he was drowning in.
He saw a tall figure peek from the sliding door. It was soobin and the others.
“Is he alright?” Soobin asked.
“He’s conscious at least. The doctor said that they have to do more examinations. They said it was carbon monoxide poisoning.” taehyun replied
“Ah.. i hope he’ll be alright soon..” soobin sighed
-
The fluorescent lights overhead buzzed as soobin tried to get some rest. It's been two days since Hueningkai has been in the hospital. All three of the boys skipped school and stayed in the hospital with kai instead.
-
The three boy’s worst nightmare occurred right before them. They opened the door to Hueningkai’s room with a bag of snacks. Only to find the sound of Kai’s heartbeat flatlining. It couldn’t be.
Beomgyu started tearing up. “But.. they said he was getting better! They told us! Now hes dead! They sai-”
“Beomgyu.” Soobin interrupted Beomgyu’s rant and pulled him into a tight hug. The two of them cried in eachothers arms. Yeonjun rushed out of the door to find a doctor.
“Kai..” Taehyun murmured as he wiped his tears, holding Hueningkai’s cold hand tight.
The doctors rushed in and told the boys to leave the room.
-
A week passes.
Yeonjun laid in bed. He cut off all of the contact his had with his friends and family. He eventually pulled himself out of bed, forcing himself to go clean up Kai’s room since he was expecting a new roommate soon.
He took a deep breath before opening the door. He swept the room and rummaged through Hueningkai’s drawers, throwing away trash and keeping some of Kai’s things for keepsake.Yeonjun came across a journal, labeled ‘For when I’m gone’. “Oh my god.” He gasped as he opened it.
“
For Yeonjun,
If you find these, I guess I took the chance to take all of my suffering away. Please don’t think this is your fault. I look up to you and I love you very much. You made me feel welcomed in our school. This is my fault because I refused to get help and I let myself drown in my own pain. You’re like a brother to me, along with all of our other friends. I’ll write this in advance, just in case I’m brave enough to finally commit to my decision.
The rest left Hueningkai’s diary.
March 4th.
They left mean things in my desk today, I’m trying to not let it get to me. Taehyun noticed something but I had to brush it off, hehe..>< I’ll show them whos boss! I’ll become a famous singer and they’ll regret being so mean. Ah! Guess what~ Yeonjun cooked dinner for the two of us, it was so delicious ^^ I’m so sleepy, goodnight~~~
March 13th.
Hi!!! It’s Beomgyu’s birthday today! I got him a plushie >3<. I had to cheer up for his birthday because I didn’t want him thinking that something was up with me.. Those bullies kept on leaving notes in my desk, I haven’t thrown any away because I can’t bring myself to.. Nothing else really happened except for Gyu’s birthday.. I’m so tired after screaming all day~ hehe~ >< Goodnight!!!!
April 3rd.
I never wanna trust anyone again. Those kids told me that they had a surprise for me , I trusted them and followed them to the back of the school. They kicked me and threw rocks at me while yelling mean things. I really don’t wanna go back there again. I don’t know what I did wrong.. I was never mean to them in any way.. Why am I treated like this? My body hurts so much. I told Yeonjun that the bruises were from me being clumsy. I hope he doesn’t worry about me too much. I can’t move as much but I’m gonna try and sleep. Goodnight.
April 12th.
I had to force myself to smile again today. I can’t stand those bullies anymore. I started cutting myself again. I’ve been sober for 3 years but I broke it today. It’s so hot outside but I have to wear long sleeves everywhere so my friends won’t worry about me. I feel so worthless and useless. I know that everyone at school hates me. I’ve been thinking about transferring schools. I hope the bullying will stop that way.
April 22nd.
Yeonjun asked me why I’m wearing hoodies all of the time, I told him that it’s just my style. The mean kids keep on using me as their shuttle. I can’t stand them. They hit me when I don’t make it in time for their food. They force me to do all of their errands. Soobin asked me why I’m always around them but I just told them that they’re my new friends. I want to die.
May 1st.
The bullying still hasn’t stopped. It gets worse everyday. I’m so tired of this. I want this to all go away.
May 3rd.
I’m done. They keep on writing mean things on my desk and laughing about it when I have to wipe it off. I’m going to take all of this pain away myself. I’ve decided to give up on my dreams and die. They told me to die, so I should just listen to them.
May 5th.
This is it. I’m going to kill myself tonight. I’ve decided to keep this journal for anyone who finds it instead of throwing it away. I think I’ll write letters to my friends so they can wish me a happy goodbye. God I’m sick of everything. I’ll finally be free. Goodbye