Chapter Text
The Tower of Sweet Chaos. Home only to one, a beastly individual– neither cookie, nor cake.
Home to one… and 80 others. His battle-hardened soldiers, the strongest individuals he knew.
And the fluffiest, at that.
It was early, one morning, that this beast– known as Red Velvet, awoke from his slumber. The sun of Earthbread did not reach his tower, surrounded by a constant ring of clouds, but he did not mind. It was not necessary for what he was to do.
It was only a few mornings before, that the man had received a visit– his adoptive “mother”, Dark Enchantress. Why she named herself that, he was unsure, but she came bearing important information.
“Oho, my dear… we’ve intercepted useful information from someone in the kingdom. Information you may find… useful.” She cackled. She hadn’t said anything funny, not as far as the man was aware, but alas.
Nodding his head, Red Velvet takes the opportunity to ask– “Yes, Dark Enchantress Cookie. If I may be so bold, just what is this information?”
“A weapon.. STRONGER than Soul Jam, a strength to surpass that of ANY dragon, yes… the power…”
“...Yes, the power of what, ma’am?”
“Yes… the power of Twitter, dear!”
Of… what? The red-haired man was confused, his cake arm completely still. It had no reason to move, of course, but it was still. Responding with another nod, though a bit more hesitant, he asks again– “Twitter. My apologies, again, Dark Enchantress, but just what IS Twitter?”
Once more, the woman begins cackling obsessively. Red Velvet was only further perplexed, but allowed her to finish. A mistake, apparently, as her gaze and voice became… sour. “Perhaps I’ve been incompetent, allowing you to remain in this tower whilst such.. useful, information passes us by. You fool, Twitter is where we defeat that wretched Gingerbrave, once and for all!”
At this, the man’s attention is completely grabbed. As was his beloved Chiffon’s, seeing its sudden appearance. Dark Enchantress’ group, of which he was a part, was named the “Cookies of Darkness”.
A name he tried vetoing, but Licorice won with a vote from the Twins.
The group’s goal was simple– collect the Heroes of Old’s Soul Jam, eliminate a few children, prevent Earthbread’s destruction from any OTHER cause, and eventually tear down their heavenly creators.
No big deal!
And of the children involved in step two, Gingerbrave was their largest target. The thirteen year-old had been the bane of all their plans for the past few years, and Red Velvet knew his lady’s patience was wearing thin. If his elimination could be swift, he’d accomplish it.
“Ah… I see! So, just how do we go about this? Where do we obtain this… weapon?” As he spoke, the lad went ahead and obtained his weapon from the wall. A saw of some sort, its seen use in many battles, and the one to obtain the fabled “Twitter” was certain to be most difficult.
Upon turning back around, he was met with a strange, rectangular device. “Is… this, the Twitter, ma’am?” Another laugh, as his lady spoke once more– “No, this is where you’ll USE the Twitter, my dear.”
The weapon of mass destruction, that which’d bring the end of Gingerbrave and his friends was…
A square? Well.
Taking the weapon into his cake hand, before quickly swapping to his regular, he presses what he presumes to be the “on” button. And he was correct, for the man was suddenly met with a lightened screen, displaying what he presumed to be a woman– younger than him, dressed in reds. The headpiece she wore was… pizza, was it? He’d had it only once, an item obtained from one of Licorice and Poison Mushroom’s escapades.
He hadn’t cared for it.
“Now what, Dark Enchantress? How do I access its destructive capabilities?” He’d managed to enter the “Twitter” a bit further, as the weapon had contained no lock, but as for what to do from there, he was unsure.
Taking the device from him, the lady moves about– before finally reaching it, the “Twitter”. It was similar to those birds from the kingdom, the ones who delivered requests. Usually on heads.
He’d requested a hammer, once.
Dr. Bones, the kingdom’s resident doctor, gained another patient that day.
“Here… my demand is simple. Locate Gingerbrave on this app, and find a way to eliminate him. Do this, and perhaps your days in this tower will… end.”
With Dark Enchantress leaving, not long after, Red Velvet still hadn’t figured out how to “eliminate” Gingerbrave. In fact, he was starting to doubt whether or not this device was capable of much of anything as all– much less destruction.
Within an hour of usage, he suddenly received a wide array of “messages”, from many individuals. Croissant, Hero, Sandwich– even someone named “Fire Spirit”? All of them, except for the last, seemed rather upset over him having the phone he was in possession of.
He did not reply to them.
“Dear Chiffon, just what should I do… perhaps I should– HEY! Boy, sit down! Chiffon! Chi–” Red Velvet was cut off, quite firmly, by his strongest soldier suddenly hopping onto his lap, and… taking the “Twitter”! His attempts to reach the device are spoiled– as his faithful companion tosses it away.
Out of his window.
A duck and a roll, the man reaches the opening, casting his cake arm forward– and successfully catches the device. “Thank the Divine… we’re safe, Chiffo–”
One long fall, and a sound of glass shattering upon reaching the ground. Red Velvet raises his arm back up, finding an… arrow? Plunged deep inside.
Just how was he going to explain this to Dark Enchantress…
“Here’s your sandwich! Hey, did you ever get that replacement you were talking about?” An enthusiastic woman asks, taking a seat in front of another.
With a nod and a smile, the other cookie responds– “Yeah, though it really cut into my savings… gonna have to deliver overtime, jeez…”
The door to the establishment they were in, it suddenly opens once more– and in comes two more individuals– a rather plain-looking boy, and a girl who looked as if she’d just traveled across time.
Very specific, indeed.
“Pizza, Sandwich! Good to see you two.” … “Yeah! It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, me and Hero just had to come!” With that said, the duo take a seat-- Croissant, as she were, taking the spot to Hero's right. As they sit, the red-haired girl stands, a smile beaming across her face.
“Two more sandwiches, on their way!”
The St. Pastry Order was home to many. But to one in specific, a woman named Pastry, it meant much more. It signified all she’s lived for, all she ever WOULD live for. It was everything.
…Everything, except for her prized Twitter account. It was one she’d made for the church, and it had over ten followers! This had meant a lot to Pastry, and the approval she’d gotten from Reverend Mother for moderating it meant the world to her.
So when a cookie in need came to her, to HER account, she knew she had to assist them, by whatever means necessary. The person in question was someone named… “PzzaAltReal1”. Not a clue as to who that was, but she responded to their inquiry.
“So, you say someone’s stolen your device? That’s certainly against our teachings, you’ve chosen the right people for the job.”
“Yea but can you get my phone back :/”
“Most definitely, who exactly took it from you?”
“Idk but they were kinda red and black and–”
This message went unanswered, as the woman had long since rushed off, certain of who the culprit was.
Cocking an arrow, she takes aim at the hand dangling out the tower, and… there! Problem solved, now she could ascend and…
Oh.
She’d have to tell that cookie to get another.