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All was silent. Sonea stared at the three bodies lying before the University. A wave of exhaustion washed over her. She felt no triumph. No pleasure. Just emptiness. She turned to Akkarin.
A smile curved the edge of his lips. His eyes were open but fixed somewhere beyond her. As she moved, the hands about her wrists loosened and fell away.
“No,” she whispered. “Akkarin.” Grabbing his hands, she sent her mind inward. She could sense nothing.
He had given her too much power.
He had given her everything.
With shaking hands, Sonea ran her fingers over his face, then bent forward and kissed his still mouth. Then she curled herself around him and began to cry.
She did not know how long she stayed there, weeping over Akkarin, but eventually a hand on her shoulder brought her back to the present, as much as she wanted to leave. Slowly, the realisation came to her that her robes were now drenched in Akkarin’s blood, and the thought made an involuntary shudder pass through her. The thought of anyone’s blood on her wasn’t pleasant, but his? It almost sent her back to the dark place that she’d only just had the strength to drag herself out of.
Sonea turned, still wiping the tears from her eyes as best she could to see Rothen with a hand on her shoulder, but she couldn't quite bring herself to smile.
He seemed to understand, just nodding at her and smiling gently, before slowly lifting her up and away from Akkarin’s body. He pulled her into a hug but didn’t try talking to her. Sonea was glad for that, as she wouldn’t have been able to say anything anyway She waited for the tears to start anew, but nothing came. Maybe she had already run out. It didn’t seem likely. She hadn’t loved Akkarin for long, and now he was gone. Just admitting that thought made her choke up a sob, and she felt Rothen’s arms tighten around her.
A terrible feeling of shame washed over her; Sonea should be asking how he was alive, she should be thanking whatever powers was above for the survival of at least some of her friends, but she just couldn’t bring herself to think of anything other than the absence of the former High Lord. She just sank further into Rothen’s robes and let the world happen around her.
By the time Rothen had loosened his grip on her, Sonea could see that a crowd had gathered. Most of those she could see were magicians, but some commonfolk and even a dwell here or there. Of Cery, there was no sign, and she didn’t know whether to thank or curse him for that. She didn’t trust herself to be able to keep it together in front of all of these people, let alone him.
A flash of green robes and Lady Vinara was at Rothen’s side. Murmurs were exchanged but Sonea didn’t have the heart to pay attention, but she did notice when they both glanced down at her, she just didn’t care enough to do anything. Eventually they left her, Rothen leaving her with some firm but gentle instructions that passed straight out of her head as soon as he heard them.
Once again, she retreated into her little ball of grief, losing track of the outside world. She felt like someone was leeching her magic, except, no one was doing anything. It was just the knowledge that Akkarin wouldn’t be there anymore. All the things Sonea wished she could have said flew through her mind, confessions of love forefront among them. It was brief, but she had imagined that they might have a life together. There hadn’t been time to discuss it, but she had hoped that they would be able to work something out, whether it was at the Guild or somewhere else, anywhere else as long as it was with him. But now that would never happen, she’d never have that life, because he was-
"He’s alive!"
Sonea’s head snapped up. Lady Vinara was crouched over Akkarin’s body, a hand on his temple. She seemed strained but was looking directly at Sonea. But he couldn’t- She had checked and there had definitely been no sign of magic in his body. Doubt flashed through her mind. The Head of Healers would be far better than a second year novice for telling the difference between corpses and not-corpses. She rushed over to where her lover lay on the ground, heedless of everyone and everything around her, not caring that they were both bloodstained, if there was anything she could do, she would do it without hesitation.
"He’s weak Sonea, very weak. He did give you too much power, and I fear he won’t last long, especially not without proper treatment and we need to get that knife out of his chest before moving him." She didn’t trust herself to speak. She wouldn’t be able to stop the pain in her voice, so she simply nodded. Vinara grimaced and continued. "It might not be possible, I don’t know how many healers we have left, and it will take a lot of magic to keep him alive, but we can try." Sonea nodded her legs weak, barely keeping her standing, so she dropped to her knees instead.
"What do you need me to do?"
***
Sonea woke up slowly, feeling that ever-present ache in her spine she had grown used to from her time in Sachaka, and the groan of muscles protesting after sleeping on rocks and a grass bed. But she wasn’t in Sachaka, she was in the Guild hospital, and she found a dark pair of eyes staring at her.
"Akkarin!"
She launched herself at him, not caring about his injuries. He was a naturally powerful magician and had been sleeping for a full week. He deserved whatever came his way. She felt the rush of air leave his lungs as she landed on him, but his mouth was curved into that half smile she had grown to miss over the past week. She covered the hand that had reached up and cupped her cheek with one of her own, leaning into the feeling of his hand against her cheek.
She couldn’t imagine what she would have done if she had lost him.
But those were not thoughts for now. He was here now, and perfectly fine, if a little physically weaker than he was before. Not that he’d been well built before; he’d been thin, but not frail. Now, well, he would certainly need to eat more regularly. Lucky that he had her and Takan to look after him. He had a lot to thank him for. They both did.
When she opened her eyes again, there were tears in his. "Akkarin? Akkarin what’s wrong? I’m sorry I shouldn’t have jumped on you, have I hurt you? I’ll get off." Just as Sonea was moving to slide off him, his arms wrapped around her, and he let out a sob. She froze. She may have been a bit too aggressive with her treatment of him considering he was freshly awakened from a coma.
"Oh Sonea."
She smiled at her name, but her heart cracked at the pain in his voice. "Akkarin? Are you okay?"
No response came. She was worried, but at least he was awake. They could work through the rest of it in time. She had waited for a week, barely leaving his side, having her food brought to this room so that she could watch over him. Never again. Never again would she leave him. So, they sat there, just enjoying the moment, the feeling of each other. Being in his arms was better than she remembered, although, admittedly, that might have been because this time they were in a bed and not on a hard rock ground being chased by Ichani.
"I thought I lost you." Sonea began quietly. "I thought you had given yourself up for the safety of the Guild and all of Kyralia." She shook her head, a small smile on her face. "I’d never have forgiven you, you know. When I died I would have found you in wherever we’d end up and I’d have made you regret ever trying to sacrifice yourself for me." There were tears in her eyes now as well, but she didn’t care. "I love you Akkarin, and damn the consequences. I don’t care about anything else, none of it matters to me anymore. I care about you. You are what matters to me, and I won’t ever let anyone take you from me again."
Sonea heard her own voice crack as she finished her little speech. She had so much more to say but no words to say it with. After so long spent thinking about what she would tell him, how she would berate him for trying to leave her, it all seemed so small now. She must seem pathetic, what would she do to anyone who really tried to stop him? She had used more of his power than she had any right to, just to take out three outcast magicians. What would she do if professionally trained and equipped black magicians threatened them?
She was dragged out of her reverie by Akkarin capturing her lips in a kiss. It was soft and sweet and everything they hadn’t had time for when trying to save the Guild. It was divine and she never wanted his mouth to leave hers. She let herself just melt into it, to forget everything else, forget the Guild, the problems, the entire outside world ceased to matter, because she was here, and so was Akkarin, and everything would be all right.
Some time later Akkarin broke away, but kept close, leaning his forehead against hers. "I’m so sorry Sonea. For everything. I just- as much as I hate myself for saying this, it would have been nice. To just fade away, to not have to worry anymore, to not have to fight. I’m tired of fighting. I’ve spent the past decade fighting."
There were tears in his eyes again, but she let him continue. Some things needed to be said.
"But I love you too Sonea." A small chuckle accompanied the declaration. Even though it wasn’t the first time he had said it, it still left a funny feeling in her chest, and she was suddenly very aware that she was still sat in his lap. Her time to think about it passed however, as Akkarin continued.
"I am very glad that you managed to stop me giving you all of my power. I assume that you have been feeding me your power to help with the healing process?"
He raised his eyebrows as he spoke, and she smiled. Here was Akkarin. Her lover. And he was still the same person he had been before.
"Of course I did. You absorbed a lot of power initially, it exhausted both me and Takan," she grinned at the flash of concern that passed across his face as he realised he had forgotten about his old friend. "And it took most of the healers left in the city to keep you alive while we moved you here."
He just smiled and pressed another soft kiss against her lips.
She opened her mouth to speak, but he placed a finger over her lips, and she noticed a gleam in his eyes.
"I don’t want to know about the Guild business Sonea. I am no longer High Magician, so it can wait. For now, I just want this." he entwined his long fingers with her small hand.
She took a long look at him, at his dark hair that hung to just above his shoulders, the smooth line of his jaw, and those eyes that had once unnerved her so much. She remembered a time when a glance from him would have sent her into a state of panic, leading her to do everything she could to stay out of his way. At some point, that had changed. At some point that fear had become a grudging admiration, and eventually that gave way to, well, love.
"So, what happens now?" he asked after brushing his lips over her hand.
"Well, there’s been talk of instating us as Black Magicians of the guild, in case we’re ever needed again, but they’re still trying to decide on all of the rules we’ll have to follow. At least we won’t be exiled again."
She flashed him a wry smile as he mulled the information over.
He sighed, and smiled back at her, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe because the full weight of her emotions barrelled into her. She loved him and he loved her.
He was alive, and he was hers. They’d be restricted with what the Guild would let them do, but they could make themselves useful; she’d open a hospice to help the people in the slums, and-
"I’ll follow you wherever you go Sonea."
She looked back up at him, and was surprised by the sheer honesty on his face. She obviously hadn’t hidden her surprise well, because he carried on.
"I’m yours Sonea, from now until the day I die. I’ve served the Guild my entire life, and look where that got me. If you want to leave, we’ll leave. They can’t exactly stop us. But if you want to stay, then that’s what we’ll do. But I am yours, and I will follow you to the end of the world."
Her eyes welled with tears, and he reached up and gently swiped them away, a soft smile gracing his far too beautiful lips.
"We’ll stay here. We can do a lot of good in Imardin. The Guild needs to rebuild, and so does the city. Magicians of any kind will be useful."
He nodded thoughtfully, as if he’d expected that exact answer.
"Akkarin?"
His eyes met hers.
"Don’t ever die on me again. You mean too much to me for that. I might very well destroy the Guild out of spite if I lost you again."
He pulled her into a warm embrace before answering.
"Trust me, I have no more grand self-sacrificing plans. I’ve had quite enough of dying already. And besides, the afterlife would be boring without you."
He smirked, and then softened as she reached up to brush some of his hair out of his face.
"I'd say you mean the world to me Sonea," he almost whispered, "but that would be an understatement. You're not just the world, you're the very cosmos themselves. I could spend a hundred eternities with you, and it still wouldn't be enough for me to know you as well as I'd like to. So, I'm here for as long as you'll have me."
They were silent for a while, just enjoying that unspoken warmth and happiness that accompanies love.
"Forever."
Akkarin looked down at her, eyes questioning.
"I want you to stay with me forever."
At some point the sun started to set, but neither of them particularly cared. They had time now, they didn’t have to rush through things. They could take their time to learn each other later, but for now, it was the quiet, slow intimacy of each other that they enjoyed.