Chapter Text
A dull, dazzling light suddenly appeared to me, no recollection of how I got there.
A young girl wrapped me in a warm and affectionate embrace and then left me to someone else, the darkness enveloped me again and that penetrated my eyelids appered one more time, like the young woman who held me close to her chest and proudly showed me to the people around me with a smile.
-Jade ...- her voice faded more and more. -Jade! - when I opened my eyes those blurred and familiar figures disappeared and like a salty patina I saw Allen smile.
Like when you wake up from a screaming nightmare, I woke up with tears running down my cheeks like sharp glass.
- the same dream, right? - that voice brings me back to a reality more vivid than ever, I brought my knees to my chest and cried.
On the bedside table next to the bed there was the ready and steaming breakfast waiting for me, I quickly ate the croissant almost choking myself, drank the unknown contents of the cup, took a long low-cut shirt with a belt to make it snug, some stretch jeans and ankle boots, all completely black.
If it weren't for my blonde hair, freckles and blue eyes I would definitely be a goth or an emo. I took the bag with the books and headed to school, i tried the long way, hoping to find an attacker to kidnap me and take me home the following weekend, but unfortunately I got to school not only on time, but also safe and sound.
Running to the entrance of the Malibu States I noticed some guys pushing around the corner a first year girl, at that moment the bell rang, I looked away and took a step forward, but before my foot even pressed on the ground I turned and ran to her aid, when I reached the corner a satchel came to my feet, the girl was terrified, with tears in her eyes as the boys unbuttoned her shirt, she was wriggling and one of them fed up whit her stuggling pulled her a punch in the pit of her stomach that made her choke.
I was motionless, not out of fear of intervening, but out of fear that I would break every bone in their wretched body. I breathed deeply, I felt the adrenaline throbbing in my veins, the one that made me clench my fists so hard that my nails were so deep into my skin that blood dripped onto the dry grass of that corner, the one that made me feel the hard hand on that boy's hideous face, the one that kicked the jewels of the other with a full force, the one that made me feel my hand sink into his abdominals with such force that he spit blood from the last one still standing .
At that moment I realized that they were all completely on the ground writhing in pain, I looked at my fisted hand I squeezed it and stretched it out several times to stop the adrenaline, I took a deep breath and turned my gaze towards the frightened girl who looked at me with horror, terror, but also with a look that humbly said Thanks.
-what is your name? - I asked with a calm and reassuring tome, with an angelic smile -Cristen- she said with a trembling voice. I looked at her, smiling and reassuring her with sweet and calm words that those boys would no longer harm her. At the beginning of the third hour I heard a high-pitched and shrill sound coming from the microphone of the principal calling my name, arrived in front of the office the assistant made me wait a quarter of an hour, when the door opened three battered boys came out and sore, they looked at me with contempt, hatred, fear and a smile that made it clear that I would not get away with just preaching.
-you are a lively and sunny girl, it takes you ten minutes and I repeat ten to become not only a friend, but also an example for that person, you are kind and helpful, you are collaborative and you do not leave anyone on the sidelines. And this is you when you get angry, when you see someone mock or unfairly punish someone - I approached the computer open on a video, I started it and I realized that it was the video of the fight that morning, my gaze was indecipherable, it was not clear if I was pleased or sorry for my actions - it is the video from the surveillance cameras, the boys from earlier said they were teasing the girl and that you came screaming and cursing at the pupil they were in front and you took them away half. I think they were not only bothering the girl, but they were harassing her sexually and verbally, that you saw the scene and intervened, knowing you didn't even realize how much force you used. What's your version? - my answer left him speechless - what difference does it make if I have engaged in the fight or if I have saved the girl? I have in any case exceeded an insurmountable limit, so that it is for one reason or another he does not do any difference, but my nature and my character require me to never look away and to punish those who deserve it. - After a few minutes of silence he said a sentence that made me think.
-I hurt a man because i wanted him to suffer, I hurt that man because he attacked me, one is unfair and wrong, the other is self-defense. This was not an isolated episode, it appen other four times, one of them is in come at the ospital. Do you rialize that it dosen't metter anymore their foul if you do a more evil deed then their? You can break someone spine beacouse he pissed you off, dammit!- said with anger
He dismissed me, or better, expelled me for the next tre mounths, fantastic. On the way home I stopped at the park I took my album and pencils from my bag, turned on the phone and started listening to the music. Immersed in that peaceful reality, with notes that gently lulled me into a completely different universe, instead of drawing the flowering trees in front of my eyes, I drew a middle-aged man with a woman in his hands, wings rising towards the sky, the face filled with pain towards the lifeless body of the woman.
A very loud sound woke me up from that dream on paper and I realized what I had drawn, I was about to tear it off, but it had something that drew me towards it like a magnet. Another very loud buzz rang in my ears and I saw the ambulance in front of the Malibu State, still absorbed in thoughts I headed towards the sound, I ran and ran again, as fast as I could, the breath was running out, but the horrendous foreboding that it wrapped around my chest and kept me from stopping to think even for a moment. I reached the place and saw the one person I loved more than my own life carried away on a stretcher, I was short of breath and my legs were shaking, I was barely standing, reached the car all the worst scenarios passed me by, death, death and death again, she was trembling, sweating and writhing as if her intestines were on fire.
With tears in my eyes I approached quickly, a tall and robust man, that stopped me. I could not see anything, my eyes on fire, the tears made me see out of focus. The ambulance left before I could do or say anything, the man hold me back without saying anything, an immense wall that wouldn't leave me, a thousand ways to get rid of it came to mind, but the most natural thing that came to me was reaching out to his chest and regardless of the force I would put out in my arm, what I saw was like one of those Superman movies where he threw people. The man rose from the ground and made five meters in the air and then fell ungracefully to the ground rolling.
My face lit up with an emotion I hadn't felt for a long time, terror, I was about to run to help him, but fear and the recent memory of Allen in pain made me run after the ambulance. Thirty minutes later I arrived at the hospital, sore, frightened and terrified that I was too late. I ran inside, they let me in and at the same moment I reached the threshold of the door a high pitched sound rang for thirty seconds before going out. The doctors walking away from Allen's helpless body on the bed. The hospital went black and gloomy in my eyes, the only thing I could see was the dead body of my best friend, who was like an older sister watching over me day after day, like an angel who made a pact with God to come down to earth to watch over my soul until the appointed day. And that day I arrive just at that moment, I was on the threshold in disbelief, paralyzed and with tears flowing like a river towards the waterfall, in that instant my legs gave out and all the physical and psychological pain I felt came to the surface, I fell slowly as if time had slowed down and as my knees came dangerously close to the floor the voice came out without permission. A deep, high-pitched scream, my knees splintering from that bump on the ground, my hands clasped to my heart, my head on the floor, my ears ringing as hard as they can, the screams of pain kept coming out, and it didn't stop , they no longer stopped, I could not control them and like a world that collapses on you a shock wave threw the doctors against the wall, the windows exploding into a thousand pieces, while two policemen arrived, the liquid in the IV was restless and vibrated, the machinery shut down, and my eyes turned a fiery red, the same image every morning flashed in my pupils, only this time it was surrounded by a blood red, the woman's face darkened, filled with fatigue and pain and the face that became more and more black, like an angel his soul moved away from his body and my little hands that rise to grab the emptiness immersed in tears, I remembered that even then the epicenter of the wave was I. That hell ended with me voiceless, me choking with fatigue, excruciating pain, a thousand sounds of screams and people running in panic, and the two policemen watching the scene perplexed, and one of them looked at me as if the thing did not upset him, but intrigued him. The other approached me dangerously, in a moment I began to wriggle in moans, tears, and anger, I hit her several times but my strength left me and she held me in an embrace full of compassion, and tenderness, I let myself go, the tears soaking her shirt, her grip was warm and sweet and the man next to her looked at her as if he didn't understand her rash gesture.