Chapter Text
Oceans are beautiful. The sound of the waves hitting the ship's hull, and the beautiful reflection of the sun on the surface of the water - bring Taehyung's mind to a certain calmness.
He envies the dolphins and the fishes. He envies the ocean, he envies the freedom it has to flow anywhere and in any direction. Taehyung envies freedom. Being in a society of homophobic people gives Taehyung a lot to see, even if he doesn't want to.
Taehyung has been working on the cruise for about two years now. His works as a painter are very popular, painting pictures for the tourists on the ship helps him stay afloat. He has seen a lot of ports and new places, places he didn't even know existed. And wow earth is beautiful, he thinks.
But homophobia exists, in every corner of the beautiful ports, in those civilizations, in every language he has heard. Taehyung couldn't express himself freely because of all of this. He learned he was gay when he first read Maurice by E.M Forster. He began to explore, to learn more about it, and he did learn more but with that, the judgments always followed.
And now, he has learned to hide, to not express himself in any way other than his paintings.
It's a normal day on the cruise. Taehyung is sitting in his quarters, painting his thoughts as usual when his best friend comes knocking at the door. The overly - energetic doe-eyed boy who Taehyung adores!
"Hyung! Heard you have an off day today, wanna come with me to the Captain's chambers? Yoongi hyung said he'll let us see through the room for a while!", Jungkook excitedly rambles on as Taehyung continues to paint, not the least bit bothered by the fact that the younger just barged in.
"Jungkook-ah, you know I cannot enter the Captain's chambers. Crew members cannot. I know Yoongi hyung is your elder brother, me being friends with you is more than enough for me!"
"Oh come on hyungie, Yoongi hyung doesn't mind. Also, it's the Captain's orders.", Jungkook says smugly. "If anyone has to tell you anything, you can just tell them the Captain wanted you to paint him a picture."
"Please can we go? Please!"
Taehyung resigns, smiling fondly at his antics. Maybe he can take his painting materials to see the view and paint from up there.
The cruise ship has been on the voyage for about two whole seasons. Time is a difficult construct to follow when on a cruise. There's nothing much to do for Taehyung except for his job as a painter, go back to his Quarters or stand on the deck staring at the ocean. Literal void of the blue ocean. Beautiful yet scary.
When he first became friends with Jungkook was during a party that was hosted by the upperclassmen residing on the cruise. Taehyung was live painting the whole feast as well as individual guests, safe to say the feast earned him a decent amount of fortune.
-
They were in Cabin. The view of the ocean was different from here. Jungkook went on and on about the ship’s working, knobs and switches, handles, and manuals. Went on and on about the guests onboard. Whilst Taehyung sat there working on his piece peacefully.
"Hyung, do you have someone back home waiting for you? Your spouse, family members, anyone?", Jungkook asked curiously, his head tilted as he looked at Taehyung.
"No, I don't. I don't know who my father is and my mother passed away when I was 14. So all my life I've been on the cruise doing odd jobs. Then I got into painting, found my calling with it and it stuck with me so now I guess I am a painter on the ship's crew." Taehyung responded, smiling wryly.
"Oh, I'm sorry about your parents. I hope you can call the ship your home!", the doe-eyed boy smiled bright and wide, a way to reassure Taehyung. "By the way, I heard you have been given a job for tomorrow's wedding! How do you feel about that?"
"A bit nervous about it, I heard the families are a part of the Council. Let's hope I have my job at the end of the day!", Taehyung sighs as he closes his sketch pad to face Jungkook.
"Believe in yourself hyung! Your paintings are majestic, I guarantee some beautiful lady of the evening will fall in love with them.", Jungkook patted his hyung's shoulders as a way to calm him down. "Wish I had the chance to attend it too, so many beautiful women and so much food to eat, what a feast!"
"Ye..yeah haha!", the dark-haired boy laughs nervously. Taehyung hadn't told Jungkook anything about his sexuality -despite being friends, the younger just assumed that he would be having fun with the ladies when all he is going to do is take his wages and go to bed.
He clears his throat awkwardly, "We should get going Jungkook-ah. I can't be in here for too long."
-
"Noona, why do I have to give a speech at your wedding !", Hoseok whined for what felt like the hundredth time. " What am I even going to talk about?"
"Come on Hoseokie, you know father will get very disappointed. He wants to keep his "image" in front of his other upper-class acquaintances.", Dawon sighs. "I'm sorry Hoseokie, I know you aren't a big lover of crowds."
"It's... It's okay noona. I figure I can do at least this much for you. Let's hope I don't mess things up."
"Also I heard, there is a painter - quite a handsome gentleman by the looks of it. You have your eye candy for the whole feast.", the brunette smiles knowingly as she pecks Hoseok's forehead and begins to get dressed.
" Just because we are those insufferable, inseparable siblings and that you know about this secret of mine, doesn't mean you get to tease me every time noona!", Hoseok whines, his cheeks turning a shade of red.
He trusts Dawon more than anyone, so when he knew he had that big a secret to be kept hidden from the world and its cruelty, he could only confide in his sister, the only person who ever understood him. And Dawon was what you could describe as the coolest elder sister.
“Sorry, not sorry Hoseokie!”, Dawon smiles brightly. “Okay, now out of my room, let your sister take her bridal moment”.
“Of course your highness. I’ll be on the deck, minding my business. Remember to inform me when we leave. Congratulations, noona. I love you”, Hoseok places a soft kiss on her cheeks as he takes his leave.
Taehyung has to calm his nerves down. It’s his first job with a family this big he wonders if he’s going to fuck up on the job. The formal tuxedo he’s wearing- which Jungkook so adamantly bought for him- doesn’t make it easier for him to breathe. He goes on the deck to get some air before he has to enter the reception hall. Just as he lets out a sigh, as soon as the fresh ocean air touches his face, he hears someone clear their throat.
“Oh! I’m sorry sir. I didn’t realize there was anyone on the deck at this hour. My apologies.”, Taehyung quickly bows his head sincerely, not even looking at who he’s talking to.
“Oh, no no… please! It’s alright, the place is for everyone, you don’t have to apologize !.”, Hoseok starts, “I’m Jung Hoseok by the way, pleased to meet you.”
“Kim Taehyung, likewise sir.”, Taehyung looks up to find one of the prettiest boys he’s ever seen. He has been to numerous places, and seen many men on this cruise but never someone as beautiful as the man in front of him. It leaves Taehyung speechless.
Hoseok smiles brightly at that, he’ll be lying if he says Taehyung isn’t handsome. “Please don’t call me sir, just Hoseok is fine. Are you going to the wedding?”
“As you wish Si... Hoseok. Also yes, I... I have been invited to the wedding, I’ve been called to paint for them.”, Taehyung replies to the chocolate-haired boy. He keeps his eyes cast down because Taehyung is not an idiot. Just from looking at Hoseok’s clothes, he understood he was from an upper-class family. Probably one of the wedding guests.
“Oh! You’re a painter? That’s great!”, Hoseok continues to make conversation as if talking to Taehyung was just the thing he needed to distract himself from the very suffocating reality he had to return to.
“Yes. Uh… I’m sorry I’ll have to take your leave as I have to be in the hall in a few minutes. It was great meeting you sir, the deck is all yours now.”, Taehyung bows again and walks off. Hearing Hoseok talk so cheerfully with him was a shock, not many upperclassmen were that kind to him. He didn’t want to admit but leaving Hoseok all alone on the deck was something he didn’t want to do.
Hoseok just stares at Taehyung’s retreating back and sighs as he turns to look at the ocean and the moon shining in the black sky. He prepares himself for the disaster of the speech he has to give in front of the family but maybe now he’s got a reason to do it properly as he knows Taehyung will be listening too.
-
“And now I call upon the best man to say a few words on this auspicious day!”, Taehyung hears the emcee call upon the best man, but all Taehyung wants to do is finish the painting he’s working on for the bride and groom and go back to his chambers. He’s tired of women hitting on him and men looking down on him! That’s when he hears the voice, a voice so so so familiar, a voice he heard earlier the same evening, the voice he ran away from because it belonged to one of the prettiest men he’s ever seen.
He looks up to find Hoseok speaking. His face is a little pale. He knows that because he saw Hoseok give him his brightest smile earlier. He can see Hoseok's hand, holding the champagne, shivering slightly. That's when their eyes meet and Taehyung couldn't help but smile, as if to say to him, that he's doing well. That he should keep going. It's when he sees Hoseok's face relax slightly.
The speech ends and even Taehyung has also finished with his painting. The bride and groom and the important family members look at his work. Judging by their face, he figures they like it and he does get paid handsomely for it. Maybe Jungkook was right after all with all his mumbling and rambling about this family. However, the person he was hoping to see is nowhere. The way Hoseok's eyes shone when he told him that he was a painter, made Taehyung slightly believe that he could finally share his love for paintings with someone other than Jungkook. But yet life disappoints him again.
He takes his leave from the wedding, wishing the couple well, and walks off towards the deck. He would’ve gone to bed if not for the intense desire to go by the deck and see the moon shining in the sky.
He makes his way to the deck of the ship, counting the money he has received from today’s events.
“Ah, there you are, and here I thought you were going to leave me all alone here Taehyung-ssi.”, Taehyung stops in his tracks, genuinely surprised to see Hoseok standing there in front of him in the cold of the night. His face a little flushed and his nose a little red. The ocean air was carding its fingers through Hoseok’s air. It leaves Taehyung a little speechless, once again.
“H…Hoseok-ssi! Uh... I’m sorry. I had no idea you’d be here. My apologies!”, Taehyung stutters as he apologizes profusely, feeling a slight bit guilty. “Please, Taehyung-ssi!”, Hoseok waves his hands in front as he continues to speak. “I’m just having a moment of slight humor with you! I saw your painting, by the way, you’ve made my sister and her husband look gorgeous with your talent. Thank you so much for such a beautiful piece.”
Seeing Hoseok do a 90-degree bow, and being thankful to him makes Taehyung panic,” Hoseok, Sir, please . It’s literally my job. I’m just glad your family liked it!” Taehyung smiles at him adorably. “Also, your speech was amazing. I could see some women and men get sentimental in the crowd.”, Taehyung compliments to clear out the awkward atmosphere among them.
“It’s all thanks to you. Thank you for grounding me. I have difficulty in public speaking but seeing you smile at me, helped me to stay calm.”, Hoseok looks back towards the ocean as Taehyung joins him on the bench. “Tell me Taehyung-ssi, have you always been painting, or is it just a side job?”
Hoseok was making conversations. Hoseok wanted to talk to him. But Taehyung knew better than to trust privileged men on this ship. Having spent most of his life here, he’s seen things and experienced things that need not be mentioned. But it also feels so good and freeing to talk to someone other than Jungkook or Yoongi.
“It’s my main job. I... I practically grew up on the ship. So I decided to work here too.”, Taehyung replies absent-mindedly. Apprehensively. Unsure whether it’s right to trust Hoseok or he’s just the same as the other men who pretended to be your friend.
“Hoseok-ssi... Why.. why are you here, talking to me? Pretending to listen when my life is nothing but a loop? If it’s one of your tricks or some sort of game to pass your time, I’m sorry I’ve had enough of that for life.”
Hoseok looks shocked and sad? Confused, Taehyung can’t make out from the expression on his face. He sees Hoseok take a breath and then start, “Taehyung-ssi, you misunderstand me and my intentions! Your life may be an endless loop but it doesn’t mean mine isn’t. I just have special privileges, like being able to board this cruise ship. Let me be blunt, when … when I saw you earlier, the lost look on your face and then as soon as it turned to fear when you realized I was an upper-classman, I wanted to be your friend. I don’t like being treated as privileged just because I was born in this family. It disgusts me, the discrimination and acting as if the others are inferior.”, Hoseok took a deep breath as he continued slowly. “I want to be your friend Taehyung-ssi, that is if you want to too. I have no intentions of playing games with you. I promise you won’t see me if you are obviously against the idea. I’ll leave you alone and let you think about it. If you do want to have another friend and take a chance in trusting me, I’ll wait for you here in the night same time.”
Before Taehyung could say anything at all, Hoseok bowed down and left. It left Taehyung so confused. No one wants to befriend people like him on this cruise. Especially not men from higher families. Then why Hoseok? Why him?
Taehyung’s attraction toward the man didn’t help his case either. Hoseok was good to him, which not many people are. Of course, blaming him for some non-existent games the man wanted to play, was far-fetched. Even for Taehyung. Hoseok was as if the sun’s warmth had bundled him up with the scent of the calm ocean air. Taehyung had no other way to explain it. But he wanted to keep himself safe. For all, he knows what could happen was, that he would get attached to the idea of Hoseok and in the coming months Hoseok would get down on some port and they would never meet each other again.
‘What do I even do? I just want to sleep but now all I have on my mind is him and his words. Oh heavens, fuck this I should ask Jungkook about this tomorrow!’, Taehyung mused over in his mind as he rubbed his temples to clear himself of the upcoming headache.
-
“You're telling me the Jung Hoseok wants to be your friend.”, Jungkook hushed loudly as Taehyung stuffed his face with the breakfast they were having.
“ Jungkook! What happened to keeping this a secret?”, Taehyung scolded him, still mouth full of food as he gulped down the bite. Taehyung told him everything that happened the previous night, and all Jungkook did was gush over ‘The Jung Hoseok’.
“Okay Jungkook-ah, now humor me okay? Is there anything that stops me from being his friend?”, initially Taehyung worried about how Hoseok could humiliate him in ways or play games but listening to what he had said and going over the whole conversation in his head over and over and over., Taehyung decided there won’t be any harm in being his friend … at least till the time, he’s on this ship. So now, he’s here… seeking expert advice from the Captain’s brother to ask if he’s going to get fired… well just from being seen talking to the Jung Hoseok.
“No, you won’t get fired . Well but you know, the talks that would go around right?”
“Yeah, I understand that, I mean I don’t mind just talking in secret. I, myself, don’t wanna be seen with a man from a higher family.”
“So, I think you’ve got it covered? As long as even he is on board with the secrecy idea?”
“Mhmm, yeah I guess”, Taehyung smiles gently at him as he finishes the remaining of his bland breakfast; which he eats almost every day.
“Also hyung, you need other friends that are not me.”, the younger boy smiles cheekily as he teases Taehyung some more about how Jungkook is his one and only.