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It’s been a few months since Shinichi, with the help of Heiji and Haibara, took down the black organization.
Thanks to Haibara, she was able to return Shinichi to his original body, and he couldn’t be happier.
Everyone expects him to be with Ran, and he’s been avoiding touching on the topic.
Truthfully, Shinichi doesn’t know when things changed, but at some point…instead of wishing he could return to his original body so that he could confess to Ran, it turned into him wishing he could return to his body so that he could always be by Heiji’s side.
Of course, Shinichi knows he is doomed to keeping his feelings for the other to himself—Heiji has feelings for Kazuha, and there’s no way Shinichi could allow himself to get in the way of their happiness. No one knows how he feels for the other detective, either. He hasn’t told anyone.
A knock sounds at his door, so he gets up from where he was staring into space and opens it, revealing three people standing on the other side.
Heiji, Kazuha, and Ran were all standing before him.
“…Why are you guys here?“ Shinichi asks, stepping aside to let the three in.
“Of course, we couldn’ let ya hole yerself up ferever, could we?” Heiji asks.
Kazuha grins, “We came to spend time with you, of course!”
Shinichi nods, a slight forced smile on his face, “I appreciate it.”
Ran smiles a bit sweetly at Shinichi, “…Hi, Shinichi.” She has a light blush on her cheeks.
Shinichi tries not to let the guilt eat him up—he needs to reject her properly. He knows he shouldn’t lead her on, but he is terrified of hurting her. She…deserves someone better.
Instead, Shinichi fell for someone who will never be able to know. Shinichi really is pathetic when it comes to love, isn’t he?
“I brought cake,” Kazuha says, holding up a box Shinichi didn’t notice she had been carrying.
They all gather around the table and Kazuha cuts the cake while Ran hands out the plates.
Shinichi watches as Heiji takes the first bite, and then another, and another, before he finishes the cake, a few crumbs on the side of his mouth.
Shinichi wants to lean over and wipe a finger across the man’s lips, effectively removing the crumbs, before kissing the Osakan detective.
Kazuha gives Heiji an amused look, “Heiji, you have some crumbs on your face. Here, let me remove it.”
She leans forward before wiping the crumbs off with a napkin.
Shinichi feels something prickling the back of his throat as he begins to feel a bit unwell.
“I’ll be back,” Shinichi mutters and gets up from his seat and heads over to the bathroom.
The prickling feeling gets worse and he barely makes it into the bathroom before he begins coughing into his hands.
When he pulls his hands away, there’s…blood, and a few…flower buds?
Shinichi frowns. He discards the flower buds before washing the blood off of his hands. He’ll need to see Haibara later.
He heads back to the others, his slice of cake being the only one untouched.
“Is somethin’ wrong?” Heiji frowns.
“Ah, no, everything’s okay,” Shinichi says. He feels a bit tired, if he’s being honest. “Why don’t you guys put on a movie? I’ll catch up.”
Heiji gives him a skeptical look, but he leaves, the girls following behind as they whisper about something.
Shinichi puts the cake away, including his untouched slice, and heads into the living room.
“I forgot, I need to go to the store,” Kazuha says suddenly, giving Ran a quick wink before grabbing Heiji’s hand, “Heiji, you’re coming with me.”
“Ah? Wait, Kazuha—“ Heiji immediately shuts up when she shoots him a glare, “A-Alright, then, we’ll be back soon, Kudo!”
And then, it was just Ran and Shinichi left in the room. She’s fidgeting nervously.
“U-Um, Shinichi…?” Ran asks.
“What is it, Ran?” Shinichi gives her a soft smile.
“I have something to tell you,” Ran mumbles, “I just…wanted to tell you that, I like you. You probably already know, but…” She looks down at her feet, trailing off as she doesn’t know what else to say.
So it’s…that conversation, then.
Shinichi lowers his head, “…I’m sorry, Ran.”
Ran looks up at him, “…What?”
Shinichi forces himself to meet her gaze, “…Ran, you’re my best friend and I want you to know I’ll always care for you, but…I’m sorry. I don’t return your feelings.”
Tears start to prick at Ran’s eyes, “I-Is it me?”
“No, not at all,” Shinichi averts his gaze, “you deserve someone who’ll make you happy, Ran.”
Ran takes in a deep breath, “Shinichi, you do—“
“I like someone else,” Shinichi finally forces the words out, keeping his head low.
Ran startles, tears falling down her cheeks, “…Is that so? Then I hope she makes you happy, Shinichi.”
Shinichi nods, “…Thank you.”
Ran turns her back to him, “I-I’m sorry…I think I’m g-going to head home, now. We’ll hang out some…other time.”
Shinichi watches as she leaves.
He really is an idiot. Now he’s made Ran cry. Why can’t he just…love her the way he used to? Why did he have to fall for an Osakan detective who will never love him back?
Shinichi doesn’t know how long he’s stared at his lap for, head hung low, before the door swings open.
“Hey, Kudo!” Heiji announces his arrival, before quickly going to Shinichi’s side, “…What’s wrong, Kudo?”
“Where’s Ran?” Kazuha frowns.
“She went home,” Shinichi mumbles.
Heiji pats his shoulder, “Cheer up, Kudo. How about that movie, yeah?”
Shinichi nods, and Heiji puts on a movie before sitting down next to him. Kazuha sits on Heiji’s other side.
It’s only the beginning of the movie, but Shinichi feels exhausted and has trouble keeping his eyes open.
Unable to resist it for much longer, he begins to lean towards the arm of the couch, awkwardly slung over it as he fights a losing battle to stay awake.
Shinichi feels himself being guided upright, before he feels an arm slung around him as he’s guided into a more comfortable position of leaning on Heiji. He officially succumbs to sleep.
—————————————————————
When Shinichi wakes up next, he is currently lying in his bed.
With a small frown, he can’t remember how he got there. There’s a blanket draped over him, too.
The last thing he remembers is…
He was watching the movie with Heiji and Kazuha when he fell asleep, but he doesn’t remember anything after that. How did he get into his room?
Shinichi gets up and wanders into the living room, where he sees Kazuha clinging to Heiji’s arm, shaking as the two watch a horror movie.
“It’s not even night,” Heiji says, “what are ya scared fer?”
“B-But—“
The sound of a phone beeps, signaling a text message, and Kazuha reaches into her pocket to read the message.
“W-What?!” Kazuha nearly shrieks, “Shinichi, that idiot, I’m going to kill him!”
Heiji looks over to him, “Huh? Kudo? Why are ye mad at him?”
“He rejected Ran,” Kazuha says, “she waited for him for so long, and he rejected her?”
Shinichi stiffens.
She’s right. He’s an idiot. He betrayed Ran, and he’s betraying Kazuha, too. Perhaps, in a way, his feelings might even be considered a betrayal to Heiji, too.
Heiji mutters, “He rejected Ran?”
Shinichi doesn’t stay to hear his disappointment, instead choosing to return to his room.
He feels suffocated, and all he can think of is the way he’s betraying the people he cares about.
A coughing fit catches Shinichi by surprise, and when he pulls his hands away, his hands are covered in blood and a few more flower buds, as well as some tiny petals.
What is…wrong with him?
He stares down at his blood covered hands for a while before he discards the flower petals.
He enters his bedroom bathroom and washes the blood off of his hands.
With a sigh, he gets dressed into fresh clothes and sneaks out the front door, grabbing his shoes on the way out.
—————————————————————
“….And that is why the culprit is you, Akito Yuzaka,” Shinichi points at the culprit.
He had just been walking down the street, when a man got shot in a nearby bar. Shinichi, of course, had rushed in and was able to solve the mystery.
After being faced with indisputable proof, he breaks down, “…He was my boss. But lately, he’s been withholding money, and kept adding more and more work to do each day. I hadn’t been paid in three months…I was at a loss.”
The police take him away.
The bartender gleams at the detective, “Kudo Shinichi, was it? Please, allow me to serve you a drink! On the house!”
Shinichi frowns, “It’s okay, I don’t—“
“Please allow me to repay you,” the man says.
Well, Shinichi supposes one drink couldn’t hurt.
The man serves him a drink, and Shinichi begins to down it as he watches whatever is going on the television.
Shinichi sees a couple holding hands as they talk amongst each other, both obviously happy and in love, and he wishes Heiji could look at him that way.
Is Heiji and Kazuha even still there? Surely they realize he’s left by now.
By the time Shinichi finishes his first drink, he doesn’t even notice the second one being slid in front of him.
“What brought you in today?” the bartender asks.
“…I wasn’t,” Shinichi mumbles, cheeks flushed as he slurs, “Was just taking a walk…then heard a scream..”
Shinichi is drunk by the time he finishes his second drink, if he wasn’t before.
“You’ve had enough to drink,” the bartender says, “why don’t you head home?”
Shinichi nods, “…Okay.”
He stumbles out of the building, but then he frowns. He’s very…drunk.
He pulls out his phone. There’s a bunch of missed calls from Heiji…
No, he won’t call him!
Shinichi refuses to call Heiji, but he’s barely made it a few steps out the door and he’s not confident he’ll be able to find his way back in the dark. He’s too drunk.
He’s not even sure when it became dark—did the case really take that long to solve?
As he’s contemplating his life decisions, Heiji calls. Without thinking, Shinichi answers it.
“Kudo, finally ya pick up!” Heiji shouts into the receiver, “Ya had us so worried when ye weren’t in yer room!”
Heiji was…worried?
“Mm sorry..” Shinichi slurs.
“…Are ya drunk, Kudo?”
Shinichi frowns.
“Mm not drunk, Heiji…” Shinichi mumbles.
“What bar are ya at?” Heiji asks, “I’m comin’ ta pick ya up, so stay put.”
Shinichi gives the name of the bar, and sits in front like an obedient puppy.
It’s about fifteen minutes before Heiji arrives in a taxi. The taxi stays put as he walks up to Shinichi.
“Ya have some explainin’ ta do soon, Kudo,” Heiji frowns at the detective.
Shinichi averts his gaze. He doesn’t know what to do or how to act, so he just stands there. “Mm sorry, Heiji..”
Heiji mumbles, “Ya can explain when we get back ta the house.”
The Osakan detective laces their hands together before pulling him back to the taxi. Heiji opens the door for Shinichi to get in and buckles him in, before he walks around to the other side to sit beside him and put his own seatbelt on.
Heiji tells the taxi driver the address, and it’s not much longer before they arrive at Shinichi’s house.
Heiji opens the door for Shinichi, unbuckles his seatbelt, and grabs the other’s hand. He pays the taxi driver before leading Shinichi to the house.
Once they get inside and sit down on the couch, Heiji gives a slight frown, “Alright, ya have some explainin’ ta do. Why were ya at the bar?”
Shinichi looks away, “…I took a walk. A murder in a bar. Found culprit. Then I was offered a drink…”
“Why didn’ ya tell anyone ya were were leavin’?” Heiji asks, “We were worried!”
“Mm sorry…” Shinichi mutters. What else can he say…?
He really is pathetic, isn’t he? He rejected Ran, fell for someone who could never return his feelings, and then made everyone worry about him.
“I’m not mad at ya, Kudo,” Heiji says, and Shinichi can’t help but to look back over at him, “…I was just worried in case somethin’ happened ta ya again, ya know?”
Heiji looks very attractive right now. It might be the alcohol, but he can’t help but to just want to lean over and kiss that frown off of his face.
But he stays put. Instead, he gives Heiji a nod, “I won’t worry you again, Heiji…”
Heiji looks at his lap, giving a slight nod, “…Thank ya.”
“Where’s Kazuha?” Shinichi asks, finally noticing the other wasn’t allowed.
“She went ta go see if Ran was…Oh, right!” Heiji looks over at the other detective, “Why did ya reject Ran? I thought ya were dyin’ for yer chance ta return ta ya body and finally be with her.”
“I was,” Shinichi looks away, biting his lower lip, “…But somewhere…I stopped having feelings for her…”
Heiji mutters, “…Is there…someone else ya like?”
Shinichi doesn’t return his attention to the other male, but a sad smile makes its way on his face, “Yes…but I don’t stand a chance with them.”
“Why’s that?” Heiji asks, “Anyone would be lucky ta have ya, Kudo.”
His…heart hurts.
He just wants to tell Heiji about his feelings right then and there. But, he can’t.
Shinichi gives a light headshake, looking over to the other male, “Heiji, they…already have someone they like.”
Heiji crosses his arms with a pout, “Then they’re missin’ out.”
Shinichi nods, “So…Kazuha? Did you confess to her?”
Heiji seems to be contemplating something before he shakes his head, “Let’s get ya ta bed, Kudo. Yer drunk and need rest.”
Heiji grabs Shinichi’s hand and leads him to the room, and when Heiji removes his hand, Shinichi misses the warmth from it.
Heiji helps Shinichi out of his pants and shirt before tucking the other detective in.
“Goodnight, Kudo,” Heiji says. He turns the light off and leaves.
—————————————————————
It’s been two weeks. Heiji and Kazuha hadn’t gone back to Osaka yet.
Right now, Shinichi, Heiji, Kazuha, and Ran were all supposed to be meeting up to visit Tropical Land.
A firm knock sounds on Shinichi’s door.
He…shouldn’t go. This is the first time he’ll be seeing Ran since he rejected her, and he can’t bear to see the hurt on her face.
He opens the door to reveal Heiji.
“Heiji? Where’s Kazuha?” Shinichi asked.
“She’s with Ran,” Heiji replies, “I came ta make sure ya don’ try ta cancel on us.”
Shinichi nods, “…Alright. I’m going.”
Once they arrive at Tropical Land, they see Ran and Kazuha standing by the entrance.
“Hey, Heiji,” Kazuha smiles brightly at the Osakan detective before turning a glare to Shinichi, “And Shinichi.”
“Kazuha, it’s okay,” Ran smiles awkwardly at Kazuha before turning her attention to the other two, “Hi, Heiji. Shinichi.”
They all purchase their tickets before entering.
“What do you think we should do first?” Kazuha asks with an excited gleam in her eye.
“Let’s go on the rollercoaster,” Ran suggests.
The four choose to head into the rollercoaster line. It’s pretty long.
“This line is long,” Kazuha sighs. Then, she grabs Heiji’s arm, “At least Heiji’s here to wait with me!” She grabs Ran’s arm as well. “Oh, and Ran, too!”
Heiji and Kazuha start talking about something. Kazuha is looking very happy, and Heiji looks fairly content, too.
They…really do belong with each other. Shinichi isn’t the one who will make Kazuha happy in the end. Shinichi might be the one suffering, but he won’t interfere with Heiji’s happiness. He’ll take his feelings to the grave, if he has to.
He feels the familiar coughing sensation building up, and he quickly excuses himself to go use the bathroom.
But on the way, he didn’t expect to see two men in an empty bathroom. And he also didn’t expect to walk in just as one of the men shoots the other man in the head.
And the coughing feeling is only getting worse. Shinichi tries to back away.
The man notices him, and immediately pulls him by the collar.
“Do you want to die?” the man asks, “It’s too bad, you’ve already seen too much. Thank your bad timing.”
Shinichi doesn’t look up at the man, “…Somebody will find out you’re the murderer. In fact, a friend of mine is a great detective, you know?”
Shinichi lets out a few coughs, blood dribbling out of his mouth as he tries to contain them.
Shinichi coughs a bit more, a lone flower petal escaping.
“What is this disease?!” the man demands.
“Just kill me already if you’re going to,” Shinichi says.
He doesn’t have anything to live for, anyways, does he?
It feels like years was given to him as Conan, and now he doesn’t know how he should feel anymore. So much has changed.
“Don’ touch him!” a very familiar voice shouts, tackling the man and forcing him to drop Shinichi and the gun. The man passes out.
Shinichi grabs the gun, “C-Call the police.”
Heiji wastes no time before calling the police. Kazuha and Ran aren’t with them.
Shinichi can’t contain the coughing for much longer. He quickly shoves the gun into Heiji’s arms before running out of the bathroom.
He quickly looks around running behind some bushes.
Shinichi falls to his hands and knees, a coughing fit overtaking him.
When it finally finishes, there’s a bunch of blood and flower petals on the ground. Shinichi begins to get dizzy.
He stumbles towards the entrance of the theme park, before finding his way into an abandoned building nearby, and barely makes it up the stairs and into a closet before passing out, with only one thing on his mind.
I’m sorry for worrying you again, Heiji.
—————————————————————
When Shinichi wakes up again, he’s a little disoriented.
He’s in an abandoned building, but he barely remembers how he got there.
Then it comes crashing down on him—the theme park, the rollercoaster line, the murder in the bathroom with Heiji saving his life, and then the blood and flower petals. Somewhere after that, he also made it into the bathroom.
He pulls out his phone. Checking the time, it’s only been an hour since he passed out. There weren’t any missed calls from Heiji, either.
He dials Haibara’s number.
“Hello?” Haibara answers on the third ring.
“Hey, Haibara,” Shinichi mumbles, “do you know anything about any diseases involving….blood and flower petals?”
There’s a pause. And then, she replies, “…Yes. Back at the black organization…I had known someone with it. The disease is referred to as Hanahaki.”
“…Is it deadly?” Shinichi asks.
“Yes, very,” Haibara asks, “it’s a very rare disease. Are you asking because you have it?”
“N-Not at all,” Shinichi mumbles, “…but could you tell me more about it?”
“It’s discovered that it is caused by feelings of unrequited love,” Haibara says, “the disease causes you to cough up blood and flowers, and eventually, it overtakes you and you die from it.”
“Is there a cure?” Shinichi asks.
“There’s two things that can cure it,” Haibara answers, “the first thing is that your feelings get returned.”
“And the second?” Shinichi asks.
“You get the flower removed,” Haibara says, “but, you won’t be able to remember anything about the person who caused the disease.”
So, Shinichi has no choice but to die, then.
But even more than he fears dying, he fears not being able to remember anything about Heiji.
“How long have you had it?” Haibara asks, tone more serious.
“I d-don’t have it,” Shinichi mumbles.
“You’re lying,” Haibara says, “I’m not an idiot. You wouldn’t be asking me about it otherwise.”
“…Two weeks,” Shinichi finally replies.
“Is it Ran? No, it can’t be. She adores you,” Haibara says, “if it’s not her, then who is it?”
“I can’t tell you,” Shinichi bites his lip, “thank you for the information.”
“Shinichi, does the person know you like them? Please consider telling them or getting the flower removed,” Haibara says.
“I can’t. They have someone they love already,” Shinichi mumbles, “and I can’t get the flower removed, either.”
“But, Shinichi—“
“Please don’t tell anyone,” Shinichi says, “I don’t want to worry anyone else.” He hangs up.
He sends Heiji a quick text that he’s okay, before heading back to his house. It’s empty once he gets there, although it’s not unusual.
—————————————————————
Later, Ran, Kazuha, and Heiji all head over to Shinichi’s house and have dinner there.
They’re at the table, but Heiji continues to frown at Shinichi.
Finally, Shinichi looks at him, “Are you okay, Heiji?”
He nods and averts his gaze, “…But are ya really okay, Kudo? Ya almost got shot, and then ya left…”
“I’m okay,” Shinichi gives him a slight smile, “so don’t worry about me, okay?”
After they finish eating, they take the dishes to the kitchen and Shinichi begins washing them.
Ran joins him in the kitchen, while Kazuha and Heiji chat in the living room.
“It’s Heiji, isn’t it?” Ran asks.
Shinichi startles, “…What do you mean?”
“The one you have feelings for,” she says.
“He has Kazuha, why would I…like him, like that?” Shinichi washes the last dish and puts it in the dishrack.
“I see the way you look at him, Shinichi,” she smiles softly at him, “you used to look at me that way, so–“
“He can’t know,” Shinichi speaks softly, “I can’t get in the way of him being happy with Kazuha. So please…pretend you don’t know.”
He exits the kitchen, but freezes when he sees Heiji at the entrance.
“Heiji,” Shinichi mumbles, “did you…hear anything?”
“No,” Heiji says, a slight frown on his face. He quickly replaces it with a smile. “We were going ta watch a movie. Ya want ta join us?”
Shinichi nods, and they head onto the couch, Ran exiting the kitchen shortly after.
Shinichi felt relieved that it appeared Heiji hadn’t heard anything.
There’s a knock on the door shortly after.
“I’ll get it,” Ran says and answers the door, “Oh, Haibara!”
“Is Shinichi home?” Haibara asks in a deadpan voice.
Ran leads her into the living room.
“Shinichi, we need to talk,” Haibara says, before pulling him aside to the kitchen.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Shinichi mumbles.
“What about the—“
“Not here,” Shinichi frowns, “…What if someone hears?”
“I’m worried,” Haibara says, softly, “you’re dying, Shinichi. Do you think they’ll be happy when they discover the truth you’re hiding from them?”
“Of course not,” Shinichi mumbles, “but them knowing wouldn’t make things easier, either. I…don’t want them to treat me any differently.”
“But what if the one you have feelings for…returns them?” Haibara asks.
“It’s not possible,” Shinichi says.
All he can think about is the way Heiji seems to look at Kazuha. The way they always seem very happy and at peace around each other.
They even have good luck charms from the time they were little.
Shinichi is overtaken by the sudden coughing fit.
He falls to his hands and knees, coughing. He tries to contain it.
He can’t…have one of those in the kitchen, with the living room in good hearing distance for something like that.
Shinichi can’t stop himself from coughing.
“Kudo!”
Shinichi finishes coughing up blood and flowers, before he feels himself being pulled into strong, familiar arms. He looks up to see Heiji.
“Kudo…” Heiji frowns, “what is…this?”
Shinichi looks up at Haibara and gives her a light shake of his head.
Shinichi feels dizzy, yet safe in Heiji’s arms.
“Heiji…” Shinichi whispers, his vision going black as he falls unconscious.
—————————————————————
When Shinichi wakes up next, he sees Heiji sitting in a chair beside the bed, watching him.
“Kudo,” Heiji says.
Shinichi averts his gaze, “…I’m sorry you had to see that, Heiji.”
“Kudo,” Heiji says again, “Haibara told me everything.”
Shinichi looks at him again, “Wh…What..?”
“That you’ll die if the one ya love doesn’ return yer feelings,” Heiji says.
Shinichi gives him a subtle smile, “…So you know, then. It’s nothing you can help me with, so—“
“I’m the one ya have feelin’s fer, Kudo,” Heiji says, “…I lied earlier. I heard ya talkin’ with Ran in the kitchen.”
Shinichi averts his gaze, “…You don’t need to force yourself to return my feelings for my sake, Heiji. You have Kazuha, and I only want you to be happy.”
“Even if it means ya will die?” Heiji asks.
“I won’t get in the way of your happiness, Heiji,” Shinichi says, “…I won’t be selfish. I’m not afraid of dying, you know?”
Heiji stands up, clenching his fist, “And how will ya dyin’ make me happy, Kudo?”
Shinichi frowns, “But, Heiji, what other choice do I have? Either my feelings get returned, or I get the flower removed and forget all about you. So…neither are an option, but it’s okay. I accept death.”
“But, Kudo, I have—“
“You don’t have to force yourself,” Shinichi says again, “I know how you feel about—“
Heiji presses their lips together, cutting off the other male, who’s frozen from the sudden contact.
Heiji pulls away, “Do ya understand now, Kudo? Yer the one I have feelin’s fer.”
Shinichi, “…I am?”
“I haven’t liked Kazuha in years,” Heiji frowns, “She’s a great friend, but…I fell fer ya years ago.”
“Truthfully, that’s why I rejected Ran,” Shinichi mumbles, “…Because I liked you.”
Heiji nods, “We’re both idiots then, huh, Kudo?”
Shinichi nods, “I’m a bigger idiot. All I’ve done is worry you lately.”
“And almost die on me,” Heiji gives Shinichi a odd look, “…Twice. In one day.”
“It’s really not my day,” Shinichi nods, “why didn’t you say anything if you heard Ran and I talking in the kitchen?”
“I thought we’d rather have that conversation alone,” Heiji mumbles, “…I wanted ta bring it up later.”
Shinichi nods, “That makes sense. Then..?”
Heiji laces his fingers with Shinichi’s, “Be my boyfriend, Ku–Shinichi.”
A light red hue tints Shinichi’s face at the use of his first name, “I’d love to be your boyfriend, Heiji.”
“Good, because yer stuck with me now,” Heiji gives him a grin, “yer not dyin’ on me anytime soon.”
Shinichi gives Heiji’s hand a light squeeze, “Wouldn’t plan on it.”