Chapter Text
“Are you fucking crazy—”
“Don’t fucking call me crazy,” Atsumu yells toward the latter.
“You cheated on me and you expect me to not have a fucking fit?” He’s pacing in his living room—rage running throws his bones. “You had the fucking audacity to cheat on me and show up at my house, and what? You expected me not to be fucking livid!”
“You know what… get the fuck out of my house,” Atsumu said in a sullen—deadpan tone.
“Atsumu please I can –”
“I said get the fuck out”
*
When Atsumu was in his third year of middle school he came out as bisexual. It didn’t surprise many people given the fact that it’s nothing that he tried to hide. His mother was as supportive as always. His dad… his dad didn’t seem to take it too well.
Atsumu wouldn’t say he had the best childhood, but he knew people had it worse than him. It seemed like after he came out everything got worse though. His father became hostile and quite frankly an asshole. He also became for lack of better words very physical.
One bad grade or sly remark ended in a beating or the denial of food for the night. There would be nights when he cries himself to sleep and even then, he’d wake up ready to cry all over again. By the time he was in high school, he and Osamu lived in the dorms. It made his childhood just a bit better.
During his first year, he met a guy. A guy that he liked has. He later has a gay crisis and doesn't know what to do with himself. The boy was tall and sweet and sadly so straight that a ruler wishes that it could be him. Osamu told Atsumu that getting close to him would be a bad idea. He’s never really been one for listening.
He learned that this boy’s name is Haru. He learned that Haru has beautiful greenish eyes that seem to light up the room. He learns that he is deeply and utterly in love with Haru and that is a problem regarding the fact that Haru is straight and has a girlfriend. The girlfriend happens to be the most popular girl in their grade. She’s beautiful and smart. It doesn’t help that she’s one of the sweetest people Atsumu’s ever met.
Her personality wasn’t on his conscience when he kissed Haru. He wasn’t thinking about how sweet she was to him when her boyfriend’s hands were in his pants. He wasn’t thinking about her at all when her boyfriend had sex with him that night. He did think of her after when he woke up to an empty bed with no Haru. He thought about how much of a fuck up he was. He was thinking about her when he picked up his phone and cried to her apologizing profusely for sleeping with her boyfriend. He felt his world crumble into pieces. His childhood got just a bit worse… and it was his fault.
*
During his second year, his life was just a little bit better. He and Haru started dating after the incident. Haru’s ex-girlfriend was surprisingly understanding. She said she had her suspicions that Haru had feelings for Atsumu, he was distant and a little cold to her. She said at the end of the day she wanted to see Haru happy, and for him that was Atsumu. It was weird at first, the cheating and sleeping together were kept between the three of them. They soon got used to their new arrangement.
Atsumu was a hotshot of his own. In the high school media, he has been deemed the number one setter in the high school division, and he wore that title proudly. “The Miya” twins were also a big headline for the high school division. He was great. Volleyball was great. His boyfriend was great. Everything was great.
Suna and Osamu started dating later that year. It wasn’t anything that Atsumu didn’t see coming, he could tell that they were in love with each other. It was nice to be able to go out with your volleyball friends and your brother and your boyfriend, everyone got along, and everyone is happy. But Atsumu wasn’t happy, it crushed him because he felt like he should be happy, but he just could bring himself to feel content with his life. It’s not that is he not grateful for having everything he’s ever wanted in the last year of his life in the palm of his hand, he feels empty at the end of the day.
*
Private Messages
Haru <3
Thursday 18:45
(Haru <3): Hey my love what are you doing?
(Me): Nothing just getting ready for the training camp tomorrow
(Haru <3): Oh, I forgot that you had that, when will you be back?
(Me): Uh Sunday afternoon I think, it might be earlier. Tbh I’m not too sure yet.
(Haru)<3: Mmm ok, well call me later love?
(Me): Yeah ofc <3
Packing for the training camp was a breeze, it wasn’t anything that Atsumu hasn’t packed for before. He has been to plenty of these things, but this was the first time that he is going without Osamu. It was something that made him nervous and excited all at the exciting time.
He called Haru later that night, it was a fast call nothing too special. Somehow most of their calls don’t seem all that special anymore. Atsumu hung up the first reason that he had to go to bed early for the next day’s training camp.
The thing is he didn’t sleep… more like he couldn’t, he was too busy running things through his head a consent thought at that.
Would he ever cheat on me?
What if I’m being lied to?
Does he love me?
Do I love him?
The questions remain unanswered as Atsumu drifts into slumber. Questions like these are likely to stay unanswered for a remarkable amount of time. There could be so many obstacles that could tear them apart at any time, and one day all his questions could be answered all at once, the real question is will Atsumu be able to handle whatever the answers are.
Having these thoughts was a very normal thing for a teenager. Atsumu would like to say that he lives a pretty normal life. It wasn’t until he went to the All-Japan Youth training camp, and met Sakusa Kiyoomi, that his life was just never that same.