Chapter Text
There he sat, pondering all the decisions that had led him to this rooftop. Who was to blame? His parents who never taught him self-control or the teachers who encouraged his behaviour? Maybe it was society; for forcing everyone into tiny boxes and labels that create harmful stereotypes. Who knows.
If only he could talk to his younger self and tell him what he knows now. Would that have changed the outcome? As he sat he looked over the edge and saw the traffic below. ‘Is this how Izuku felt back then?’ Katsuki’s mud-covered shoes dangled over the edge as he thought back to the past month. How did he even get here?
———
It was a normal lunch like any other day, kids talking and laughing trying to blow off steam before their next class. Bakugou was surrounded by his annoying extras who never stop yapping. Extra #1 was trying to convince Extra #2 that he could flip a bottle with only his wings. That's when he felt it. Two orbs staring into his head.
‘Which extra has a death wish’ Bakugou growled under his breath as he tried to catch the eye of the perpetrator. He clenched his fist harder as his efforts were fruitless. That was until he saw who. Green eyes met red.
When they made eye contact stupid little Deku was shaking in the corner like a leaf in a typhoon which only angered Bakugou more. After a few seconds Deku finally came to his senses and realized that he had been caught staring at his bully, he quickly grabbed all of his belongings and darted out the cafeteria doors.
Bakugou saw the pure terror in his eyes and that set him off. A smirk snuck onto his face and he got up to follow the useless nerd. Putting his hand in his pockets he sauntered toward the cafeteria doors.
“Hey, Katsuki! Lunch isn’t over. Where are you going?” one of his followers asked as she grabbed the cuff of his sleeve. That pissed him off. He hated when people touched him, especially without warning. His mentality was ‘if it’s not yours don't fucking touch it.’ he angrily pulled his arm away from the extra and snarled “Fuck off! Don't follow me unless you wanna fucking die!”
With that, he went on his way to find Deku. Walking in the hallways he found no sign of Deku so Bakugou started to check his usual hiding spots. He first checked the boys' bathroom. As he walked into the tiled room he felt a wave of memories hit him.
———
“K-Kacchan I-I’m sorry. I-I’m s-sorry. P-please.”
Deku was shaking on the bathroom floor covered in bruises and burns. The most prominent one was the new starburst burn on his back that perfectly fit Bakugou's hand. He has been cornered by Bakugou in a stall after the midterm grade had come out. Although their grades were always similar, Deku had never beaten Bakugou.
That was until today.
“YOU FUCKING QUIRKLESS USELESS BASTARD! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!”
He kicked the nerd in the stomach and listened to him whimper in pain. Bakugou turned around and pulled at his hair until he couldn’t handle Deku's dull cries. He turned back and made eye contact with disgustingly green eyes.
“Would you SHUT THE FUCK UP! You're not the one in pain I AM!” Bakugou shrieked. He felt his hands start to shake and his eyes filled up with tears. Bakugou slowly walked closer and closer to Deku’s balled-up body laying on the ground as he cried.
“You have no idea what I have been through, all you care about is you. That's why no one likes you because you're a self-centred asshole.” He was now less than a foot from Deku’s curled-up body that had stopped shaking. Through his blurry tear-filled eyes Bakugou started to laugh as he collapsed to the ground. He put his shaking hands over his face to try and hide his face.
He didn’t really mean what he said to Deku. He was just projecting what he thought of himself onto Deku. That's when he felt it. Deku had wrapped an arm around his torso. Bakugo's whole body froze in place. The manic laughter stopped. His hand stopped shaking. The tears stopped falling.
‘When was the last time I was held?’ he quietly thought. A second arm wrapped around his body and he melted. It had been so long since he had been touched in such a loving way. He didn’t feel that Deku was pitting him. All he felt was the pure love Deku was giving him. Bakugou doesn’t know if he stayed there for minutes or hours. He does know that by the time he came back to his senses all of his tears had dried.
“What do I do?” Bakugou questions. His voice was hoarse and came out as barely a whisper.
“K-Kacchan?”
He tilted his head and looked up at the ceiling.
“The old hag is gonna be so angry. What should I do?”
He didn’t want Deku to see the pure pain and suffering written all over his face. Deku tightened his hold on the other boy. A single tear ran down Bakugou's face. It had been so long since he had felt so loved.
After a while, he felt the Nerd’s hold on him loosen and he started to snore lightly. He sat there contemplating what to do. Looking down he saw the holes in Deku’s uniform that he had made.
A wave of guilt rushed over him. He decided on gently running his fingers through the sleeping boy’s hair. Before he realized what he was doing he lifted his hand and rested it on Deku’s curl-filled head. Bakugou lightly pulled on the soft curls while running his fingers through the unruly hair while gently scratching his scalp.
A small shift startled Bakugou.
'Is he awake?”
But when he looked down there was a delicate smile on Deku’s sleeping face. He continued to play with the boy’s hair until the watery blue sky turned orange.
‘Should I wake him up?’ Bakugou thought, looking at the nerd's peaceful sleeping face. He knew that the old hag would punish him for being out so late but Deku looked so calm.
The golden sun looked perfect on the boy’s face, highlighting his freckles. When Bakugou finally decided to leave, he gently shook the sleeping boy’s shoulder. There was no response so he decided to try and extract himself from the boy’s hold. Just the thought of losing the physical contact with the nerd hurt him but he knew it needed to be done.
Grabbing the other boy’s wrists he pulled the arms that once held him away from his body. He slowly started to stand, careful to not move too suddenly and wake the nerd. After he was released from the loving hold he looked back down at Deku. He was still sleeping soundly with the handprint burn on his back.
“Why did I do this?”
Bakugou quietly questions. He still doesn’t know if he was talking about bullying Izuku or staying with him. Then he left.
———
That was two years ago. After that ‘incident’ everything went back to normal. Day after day Bakugou continued to use Deku as his punching bag. They never talked about it but he felt there was an unspoken agreement to not tell others about it. Even after being so vulnerable with each other, it meant nothing.
Or that's what it looked like. In reality, Bakugou thought back to that day more times than he could count. He could never fill the void of loneliness Deku created within him that day. The only way he could temporarily forget it was by having physical contact with Deku. Whether it be bumping Deku's shoulder as he walked by or beating him up, it helped Bakugou forget about the piece of himself he lost that day.
At this point, his need to fill this void became an addition. He couldn’t put the feeling into words but he knew it felt good.
That leads to where Bakugou is right now; standing in an empty bathroom looking for Deku while the lunch bell rings. It took him a couple of seconds to process the noise of the bell. When he did he did one final look over the bathroom before leaving the empty room.
He angrily trudges back to class after his failed attempt to corner Deku. Once he walked into his classroom many of the extras greeted him but he kept his eye glued on the stupid nerd. Most of his classmates could tell he was in a grumpy mood by the deep scowl on his face and stayed out of his. This was a good thing because Bakugou was most definitely not in the mood to be bothered.
After getting an 89% on his latest math test he was forced to study till dawn and now he didn’t get to feed his Deku addiction. He was not in the mood for anything. When class finally started, Bakugou decided he needed a break and dropped his head to his desk and stared out the window.
It was dark and cloudy, the trees were slightly swaying in the wind. The rain had just started to fall. Bakugou watched as the raindrops raced each other down the window. It was a nice distraction from his foul mood.
By the time he had realized how long he had been staring at the rain the final bell rang. He decided to stay in his seat to ensure that none of the stupid extras would bother him. The rain continued to pour. When he finally got up he was the last one in the classroom. Grabbing all of his belongings from his desk he left the classroom, once in the hallway he heard footsteps.
Looking behind him he sees the nerd racing up the stairs and he eagerly follows him. He continues to try and catch up to the green-haired boy but is still pretty far behind. Once Deku reaches the door to the rooftop he darts through it so Bakugou does the same. That's how Bakugou finds himself deserted on the rooftop, which will hold many memories in the coming months, alone with Deku in the rain.