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As far as Padma was concerned, blue had always been present in her life.
It was present in her name, as a flower born in the water until it became the colour of her House.
No reason to point out that her family despised blue for red, yellow and oranges. Even green would have been preferred, as it was a more fragrant colour. But no, Padma was blue, and blue she would remain.
Of course, her dad was proud to have a clever daughter – ‘’meri beti, you did good", he would usher whenever her marks would reach home.
Her mom would just sniff disdainfully. "What’s the point of you having good grades? You should behave properly and learn to cook so that you may find a good husband. No man wants a women whose nose is stuck in a book."
Padma’s fists would tighten under her robes, as she bit her lip to avoid answering. "Ji, mummy."
Her sister’s grades would then be deemed good enough, and the matter would be closed, as if that was all that needed to be said on the matter.
Except much later, when Parvati would crawl into Padma’s bed to make sure she was okay. As both of them exchanged secrets in the dead of the night, all was fine again.
Since that was how it had been for their whole life, Parvati had no reason to think that it would ever change.
How wrong she was.
"Did you see his face? I'm pretty sure he fancies you!"
Lavender giggled loudly, her hands hiding her face. "Oh, don't jest."
Yet Parvati only pushed her playfully in the ribs with her elbow. "You should go talk to him!"
As both girls giggled, Padma sighed wistfully under her breath.
A long time ago, it had been Padma on the receiving end of such a gesture. But well, it was Lavender now. The pretty girl, with the pretty name, who was so much more like Parvati, and so very much like the second daughter her mother never had. Two of a kind, even if they weren't twins.
"Oh, I possibly couldn't, Parvati!"
"You certainly can," Padma finally said in a derisive way. "You just need to get up and talk to him." And then, with a small smile she knew was sly enough to make it appear as a challenge, she added, "What could possibly happen?"
Because they were Gryffindors and were supposed to be brave, when she however, was only supposed to be smart.
Lavenders brows went up as she pondered her decision, looking at Padma as she weighted her options.
Truth be told, she actually liked Lavender. She was a cute, if not a bit silly girl. It was just that she missed her sister more than she enjoyed Lavender's on-going presence. Half the holidays she would be over, and the other half, Parvati would be gone. Or rather, she would ask to be gone everyday, so and so, until finally her parents caved. Plus, they always had a soft spot for Lavender who was such a cute and polite girl, and therefore trusted her.
That left her with her books, and her many cousins. Of course, she could visit her friends, who mind you, were great, but well, Parvati was her sister, and Padma would have done anything for her.
She just missed having a sister.
"I swear, she’s hideous."
"Wasn’t she attacked by some beast during the war?"
"Yeah, I’m pretty sure she almost died."
"Poor Parvati. Did she really have to choose her as…"
Padma’s fingers tightened against her glass as she walked away before her mouth went ahead of her and decided to shout some expletives to these stupid guests. How she hated this. Didn’t they have something better to do than to gossip about the bridesmaid’s scars?
Like congratulate the happy couple?
She remember being a petty teenage, and now felt so guilty having ever been jealous of Lavender.
Because, if anyone had any doubt about it, now they could see the ugly truth, what it meant to be a Gryffindor. Now Padma knew too. And she felt so guilty to have ever made fun of her sister’s friend.
And she counted her blessing, and how lucky they were that both of them had come through physically unscathed.
"Padma jaan, how are you? When is it going to be your turn?"
She turned her head towards her aunt, who smiled as she came forward to hug her. "I’m pretty sure I can find you a good boy if you want me to."
Another aunt looked at her sternly before answering, "Are you hoping for a love match like you sister?"
Her mother’s voice could then be heard. "I knew all these brains were for nothing," she complained.
Padma would smile, tensely and swallow any responses dangling on the tip of her tongue ; this would not help at all in the matter. She had long since learnt that she despised drama, and would rather avoid it at all cost.
What was the point anyway? She’d rather be that blue girl no one understood.
"Who is he?"
She looked up from her chai, frowning at her sister.
Parvati smiled in that easy way she used to when they were little girls, huddling over some book.
"I can see it in the way you daydream. You’ve never been that absent-minded since, well, your crush in 6th year."
Padma felt herself blush. That had been such a stupid year for her. She had despised it, despised love and boys, and swore them off.
Of course, she had known that fairy tales only happened in novels, that she had to be practical, that no boy would be swayed by a pretty face and some brains. Somehow it had hurt that much more as she had been played.
It had seemed her previous motto had been right; books, studies were reliable, not love stories.
And then, well, then there had been the war. Then her eight year, and then work. With him.
"I… Well, I have this colleguage. I think he likes me."
"And do you?"
"I think I do…" At Parvati’s stern look, she shook her head. "Well no, I know I like him. But I’m not sure if he does too…"
And that’s all she was going to say on the matter.
"Well, you should ask him, shouldn’t you? What’s the worse that can happen?"
And just like that, Parvati was again that young girl, who winked, as she elbowed her.
"Your sister is a brave Gryffindor, don’t you remember that’s I’m your better half?"
Oh she did, Padma definitely did.
"Are you okay? You seem lost in your thoughts today…"
Try as she might, her sisters words danced in her head every meal she shared with her colleguage, and friend. And hopefully soon to be more.
Maybe Parvati was right, maybe she should just go for it, stop pondering all the ways this could go terribly wrong. Wasn’t she brave enough? Didn’t she also fight at Hogwarts?
She braced herself as she breathed in. "You know, I’m…"
And stopped as she met his eyes, so soft, so pensive. Well, at least he was listening.
"Well, I know that I may seem like a very smart and intelligent person. And sometimes you may feel that I’m just a colleague, even if I do hope I’m your friend too."
He nooded; unsure of where she was going with this. Yet, to be honest, she didn’t either. Did they really believe her to be clever?
"But right now, I’m also just a girl, standing in a front of a boy, asking him to love her."
She inhaled slowly before adding. "And right now, I would very much like you to say something, anything. Preferably yes."
He opened his mouth, closed it, sighed deeply.
"Terence?"
"Would this work? I’m no Gryffindor like most your family and friends are. Don’t they expect someone like that?"
And there it was, the ugly truth: Terence Higgs had been not been a death eater, although he had been a Slytherin, very much so.
Their society claimed to have improved, but that wasn’t quite true for everyone. Especially not for Padma’s family.
She bit her lips. Because really, however much she liked, or even loved Terence, Padma hated drama. But she also hated being the only unmarried girl, the blue one who didn’t wore red or orange.
Wouldn’t she miss her chance at true love if she kept trying to be practical and calculate everything? Wasn’t it all about taking a chance?
"Blue and green make turquoise," she said at last.
He smiled. "And would turquoise be accepted? You do wear it quite a lot."
Padma grinned. "Well, my family certainly got used to it."
As he caught her hand over the table, Padma’s heart missed a beat. Maybe she wasn’t so blue after all. Maybe she could be something more. Someone brighter.