Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first time Nobara meets Nanami Kento is four days after Itadori’s death.

She’s running late to exchange event training with the second years, but it’s not her fault, because she couldn’t get her hair to just lay flat and she wasn’t going to show up with her hair looking like a rat’s nest, so. Not her fault.

Now, she’s booking it across campus to the training field, trying to do the math in her head to figure out if there’s any way she still has a shot at making it on time. She’s not a slow runner, really, but the fabric of these uniforms is so heavy, and of course it’s dark, so they absorb all of the sunlight and make everything twice as hot. So Nobara isn’t running as fast as she could because she can’t show up to training already sweaty and gross.

She turns sharply, around one of the buildings, and she very nearly runs smack-dab into someone. It’s only because of her quick reflexes that she manages to stop short right before they actually collide.

It’s a blonde man wearing a tan suit and weird green goggle-glasses, and Nobara has never seen him before in her life.

“Sorry!” she exclaims, because she can figure he’s probably a professional sorcerer and he looks mad, and Nobara is late - she can’t afford a lecture right now. Besides, Nobara is pretty good at reading people, and this guy seems mean. She knows when to push and when to walk away, and this is a walk away moment.

She steps out of the man’s way, and as she does so, she hears him click his tongue - in disappointment, probably. He’s probably thinking something like, “So they’re just letting anyone become a sorcerer these days.”

Which, first of all, rude. Nobara is a very capable sorcerer, thank you very much!

Second of all, she doesn’t have time to deal with this right now. She can take her anger out during training. …As soon as she makes it there.

She takes off running again and prays she won’t have any more unfortunate run-ins with that particular sorcerer, since he probably already hates her. Maybe she’ll be lucky and she won’t ever actually have to see him again.

— —

“Hey, Fushiguro, you know a lot of the professional sorcerers who are based at this school, don’t you?” Nobara asks later that evening when they’re both in the kitchen - Nobara already eating and Fushiguro still making his food.

“Sure.”

“If I described one, could you tell me their name?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay.” Nobara sets her chopsticks down. “So, he was blonde, and—”

“Tan suit?” Fushiguro interrupts. “Yellow tie with black splotches? Green glasses?”

Nobara blinks. She hadn’t really expected it to be so easy to figure out who that guy was. “Yeah.”

“That’s Nanami-san.” Fushiguro glances over at her. “Did you see him?”

Nobara nods. “I ran into him this morning. Almost literally.”

Fushiguro frowns. He turns back to his food. “Weird. He isn’t on campus all that much. Must’ve had to pick up paperwork for a mission or something.”

Nobara shrugs, despite knowing Fushiguro can’t see it. She doesn’t really care why he was here; she just wants to be prepared in case she ever has to see him again. He’ll probably hold a grudge against Nobara for almost running into him, and next time, Nobara is going to fight back.

Assuming she isn’t rushing to training late again, of course.

— —

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Maki asks for about the fifth time since they set off to find Ieiri.

Nobara nods in response for about the fifth time in as many minutes. She examines her wrist, bruised and swollen. “I’m sure it looks worse than it is. Honestly. It doesn’t even hurt that much.”

That is a lie, but Maki clearly already feels bad, and Nobara doesn’t want her feeling any worse. It had been an accident - Maki was sparring with Panda, Nobara was sparring with Fushiguro, and neither pair realized how close the others were until it was too late.

Besides, Nobara is sure her injury isn’t anything Ieiri won’t be able to fix up. Plus Maki offered to walk to Ieiri’s office with her, so now, they get to spend some time alone with each other, which Nobara could never be mad about. She really likes spending time with Maki.

(Even if the cost is a wrist injury.)

Maki holds the door open for Nobara, and Nobara gets halfway through an overacted Thank you when she realizes that Ieiri is not alone in her office, and her voice cuts out without her permission.

“Huh?” Maki’s voice sounds from behind Nobara. “Oh! Hello, Nanami-san. I didn’t realize you were on campus today.”

Nobara holds her wrist closer to her chest.

Nanami waves in their direction and clicks his tongue. Which is the same thing he did last time Nobara saw him, but he doesn’t look exactly disappointed in them. He has no reason to be! For all he knows, Nobara could have gotten injured on a mission, which is pretty normal and happens to just about every sorcerer.

Ieiri turns around, wiping her forehead with the sleeve of her jacket. “Training accident?”

Well. There goes the mission injury illusion.

“It was my fault,” Maki says before Nobara can say anything. “I should have been paying better attention to my surroundings.”

Ieiri nods. “I’ll look at it after I finish up with Nanami. You two can sit wherever.” She gestures vaguely to the empty chairs before turning back to Nanami.

Maki pulls Nobara over to the chairs, and they sit down to wait. Maki leans close to her and whispers, “That’s Nanami-san. He’s a Grade 1 professional sorcerer. I’ve never worked with him, but he’s supposedly crazy powerful.”

Nobara nods vaguely, watching as Ieiri unbuttons his shirt and Nanami slips one of his arms out of its sleeve, revealing a wound in his side. Blood is dripping down onto the waistband of his pants and he winces as Ieiri sets to work using reverse cursed technique on the injury. He shakes his hand and clicks his tongue three times.

“How’s your wrist feeling?”

“Huh?” Nobara snaps her gaze back to Maki. “Oh! It’s fine.” It hurts less than it did at first, at least. The pain has dulled into a steady throb that Nobara is getting used to now rather than the sharp stinging sensation when she first got hurt.

“Stop—” Ieiri starts to say, but her voice drops off abruptly.

“I know,” Nanami grumbles. “I’m trying.”

“No, you’re fine. Just…” Ieiri groans. “Maki,” she glances over her shoulder at Maki and Nobara, “could you help? It’s still the third drawer on the left.”

Maki nods, hopping off her chair.

“I’m— brrr— I’m fine,” Nanami insists.

Ieiri ignores him. “There should be a little cube with switches and buttons on it.”

“Got it.” Maki pulls something from the drawer, and then walks it over to Nanami. Nanami rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but he takes the— the whatever it was that Maki got from Ieiri’s desk.

“Thanks,” he mumbles. Or, Nobara assumes he mumbles a thank you - she can’t really hear from where she’s seated.

Maki nods, then makes her way back over to Nobara. “Fidget toy,” she says as a way of explanation when she sits back down. Like that explains anything. “Shoko-san has several. Mostly stress balls, because I guess most people like those best. She lets people use them when they’re waiting for their turn to be treated, or if they need it while she’s treating them.”

“Ah,” Nobara hears herself say. It’s very kind of Ieiri, but Nanami doesn’t seem like the type of person who would need a fidget toy while being healed. He seems very no-nonsense, and if he’s a professional sorcerer, shouldn’t he be used to this sort of stuff by now? He didn’t seem particularly freaked out by the injury itself.

Nobara finds herself looking over at Nanami again, watching him mess with the fidget toy. He’s still intermittently clicking his tongue or making a noise in the back of his throat, which Ieiri seems to be simply ignoring.

“Yuuta was always partial to the polka dot stress ball that feels like it has glue in it,” Maki continues, like she’s purposefully trying to distract Nobara from watching Nanami. “We actually got him one of his own as a going away present before he left for Africa.”

Nobara nods, forcing herself to focus on Maki instead of Nanami. They carry on like that for a while - with Maki bringing up things that have nothing to do with anything instead of letting Nobara lead the conversation like she usually does, and Nobara tries to concentrate on the conversation with Maki instead of trying to figure out what Nanami’s deal is.

But her focus keeps breaking because Nanami keeps clicking his tongue, and Nobara keeps looking over because she wants to know why. She thought it was something he did when he was disappointed or frustrated, but now it seems like he’s just doing it for fun. Which, once again, doesn’t make sense when she considers the whole…super serious, calloused, sorcerer vibe he has going on.

Eventually, Ieiri finishes with Nanami. She helps him back into his shirt, and as he ties his tie around his neck, she tells him to be careful for the rest of the day and to go change since she can’t do anything about the blood on his clothes.

“I know th-th-the drill,” he assures her.

Once he’s gone, Ieiri sets the fidget toy on her desk, and then turns her attention to Nobara. “Alright. I assume your wrist is the issue? Anything else?”

Nobara shakes her head, holding out her arm so Ieiri can examine it. She tries not to wince too much when Ieiri touches the bruises. To distract herself, she turns to Maki and asks, “So how long has Nanami-san been a sorcerer?”

Maki shrugs. “He worked an office job for a while right after he graduated, then came back to be a sorcerer, so I’m not sure.”

“I think it’s been about four years now,” Ieiri answers. She drops Nobara’s hand and stands up. “Your wrist is sprained pretty badly. I can use reverse cursed technique for most of the healing, but I’ll still have to wrap it. And you’ll have to take the rest of the day off training.”

Nobara nods vaguely, not really interested in the diagnosis nearly as much as she is in Nanami’s backstory. “Why’d he choose an office job over being a sorcerer?” She can’t imagine going back to a boring, normal, life after this. Why would anyone want that? Office work over jujutsu sorcery? No thanks.

Ieiri winces as she turns away. “He…lost someone important to him. So it was hard being here.”

“Oh,” Nobara whispers. She watches Ieiri get out the supplies she’ll need to wrap Nobara’s wrist. Now she feels a little bad for prying. And for judging him so harshly. She wants to ask what Ieiri meant by ‘someone important to him’ - a family member? a lover? - but she also (unfortunately) knows she should respect that Nanami might not want that information shared.

She stays silent as Ieiri heals her wrist, and as she wraps it. She thanks her once she’s finished, and then she and Maki head back towards the practice field.

It isn’t until the two of them have left Ieiri’s office that Nobara asks her next question. She gets the feeling that Ieiri and Nanami are closer friends than she’d originally guessed, so she figures she should be a little less judgy around her.

“Can I ask another question about Nanami-san?”

“Go for it.” Maki opens the door that leads outside and holds it so Nobara can walk through.

“Why did he keep clicking his tongue?”

“Oh! He has Tourette’s,” Maki explains. “It’s a tic disorder. The tongue clicking is one of his tics, so it just sort of happens and he can’t stop it. That’s why Shoko-san had me get a fidget toy for him. It doesn’t stop his tics, but it helps…somehow.” She shrugs. “Like I said, I’ve never worked with him, so I haven’t been around him much, so I’m not very familiar with it.”

“Huh.” That…makes a lot of sense, actually, now that Nobara thinks about it. And it also means that the first time she ran into him, maybe he wasn’t disappointed. Maybe it was just a tic.

Which makes Nobara feel much better about that whole situation. The last thing she needs is to be making accidental enemies with professional sorcerers. She’s sure she’ll end up making plenty of purposeful enemies - namely each and every member of the Zen’in Clan apart from Maki. It won’t do her any good to make her enemy count any higher than it needs to be.

— —

“I can’t believe this,” Maki grumbles as she slings the bag holding her spear over her shoulder. “Halloween night. We should be having a party or something.”

Nobara hums in agreement. They should be watching horror movies with everyone, or maybe playing a prank on one of the teachers, not stuck as backup for an evening mission.

“There will be plenty of time for parties later,” Nanami’s voice sounds from Nobara’s other side. She turns to her left, watching as he straightens his tie. He clicks his tongue. “Being a sorcerer requires sacrifice.”

Nobara huffs. “I know. But couldn’t this happen any other night? Did it have to be Halloween?”

Nanami purses his lips, but he doesn’t say anything more.

“C’mon,” Maki nudges Nobara. “Let’s get this over with. If we’re lucky, we’ll still have time for a movie when we get back.”

Nobara grins, and nods. “Yeah. Let’s do this!”

Nanami grumbles something under his breath that Nobara can’t make out, but she doesn’t bother stopping to ask about it. They’ve got some cursed spirit butt to kick, and then she’s got a movie date night with Maki.

— —

Click. Click. Click.

Nobara thought the afterlife would sound different. She can hear a faint buzzing, as if from a dying fluorescent light, and other noises she can’t quite place - ones that aren’t as consistent as the buzzing. There was the clicking, and an almost-whistling, and a t-t-t and a brrrrr. There was the squeak of wheels on a cart or door hinges. Something rattling.

Nobara had sort of thought the afterlife would be quiet upon arrival. Or maybe there would be calming music. Something to ease you into the fact that you’re dead.

Nobara breathes in, then breathes out. Not that she needs to breathe anymore since she’s, you know, dead. But it still calms her nerves before she opens her eyes.

Her—

Wait.

Something…isn’t right.

The lighting is low enough that it doesn’t blind Nobara. The lights that are on are flickering slightly and buzzing, just like Nobara had guessed. But she…she recognizes where she is, from what she can see. It looks like the infirmary back at Jujutsu High.

Does the afterlife cater to each person, putting them somewhere that looks familiar? But why did it choose the infirmary for Nobara?

And, of course, there’s the issue where Nobara can only see about half as much as usual. The left side of her vision is just…dark. There’s nothing.

If she’s dead, why can’t she see right? She vaguely remembers the left side of her face exploding before everything went black, but what happened to her actual body shouldn’t still be affecting her in the afterlife. It’s not like she took her body with her.

Brrrr. Click.

Nobara still can’t quite tell where the noise is coming from. Everything sounds a little muffled - quieter than it should.

Slowly, Nobara raises a hand to her face. Instead of skin, her fingers meet bandages. Why the hell could the afterlife not do better than bandages? This is ridiculous. Is there a manager? Because Nobara would like to complain. She’d known that getting her perfect, ideal, body post-death would be a little too much to hope for, but come on. She had both eyes when she was alive! It shouldn’t be asking for too much to have a fully functioning face when her actual face was perfectly fine right up until four seconds before she died.

Click. Click click. A sigh.

Wait— a sigh? Is there someone else here with Nobara?

She turns her head to the left first, trying to compensate for her lost vision, but that bed is empty. So she turns to the right, and— Yeah, there’s someone in the bed on her right. They’re sitting up, and most of what Nobara can see of their face is covered by bandages, as is their arm. They’re wearing a pair of glasses, and Nobara can sort of see blonde hair—

Nanami?!

Well. The noises make sense now.

Nanami clicks his tongue again, then rolls his injured (?) shoulder, which is followed by a wince.

Okay. So. Nanami is in the afterlife with Nobara, and they’re both still bandaged up from injuries they sustained in Shibuya, and— Wait, does Nobara have an IV in her hand?

She raises her right hand to look and, yep, there’s an IV stuck in the back of her hand.

The afterlife sucks.

Nobara groans, letting her hand drop back to her bed. It hurts her throat a little - it’s so dry, shouldn’t she not need to drink water now that she’s dead? - but it feels good to let her frustration out.

Nanami turns so he’s facing her. He only has one working eye now too, apparently. “You’re awake?”

Why does he sound surprised?

“Uh. Yeah.” Nobara pushes herself up into a sitting position.

Nanami blinks at her. He makes a t-t-t sound.

“What?!” She demands. “And why do we still have these bandages on? That doesn’t seem fair. I mean, we’re already dead, don’t we deserve to have our bodies restored to…” Nobara’s voice trails off when she sees Nanami’s expression. “What?”

“We aren’t dead,” he says carefully.

Nobara blinks. “What.”

“We’re in the infirmary at Jujutsu High,” he’s speaking slowly, and his speech is a little slurred because of the bandages covering part of his mouth, but Nobara can still very clearly understand what he’s saying. “We’re not dead.”

“We’re…not?” Nobara’s hand goes back up to the bandages on her face, which definitely make more sense if she’s, you know, not actually in the afterlife. “But…”

But Nobara died. She let her guard down, she messed up. Mahito touched her and her face exploded and she died. There was blinding pain, and then nothing. How could she have possibly survived that?

“You can th-th-thank one of the first year students from Kyoto. Ieiri-san said it was their cursed technique that saved you.”

Nobara swallows thickly.

She’s supposed to be dead. She’d expected to die. And then, by some stroke of random luck, one of the Kyoto students had gotten to her just in time to save her life. Someone Nobara has literally never met before saved her.

Nobara doesn’t like owing people, and now she owes a life debt to some kid she doesn’t even know.

But she’s alive. She has more time. She can see Saori and Fumi again. She can see Itadori and Fushiguro and M—

Nobara’s stomach twists and drops.

She doesn’t even know if they’re still alive.

When Nobara had assumed she would die, she was hoping the universe would take her as a sacrifice and allow her friends to live. It’s entirely illogical, but she’d hoped that her death would allow the others to survive. But if Nobara isn’t dead—

She wants to ask Nanami if he knows whether the others are okay. But she also doesn’t want to know. She wants to live in blissful ignorance for a little while longer, because what’s the use in surviving if everyone else is gone?

Nobara runs her fingers along her bandaged face. It doesn’t hurt like she imagined it would. It’s just numb.

What does Nobara know about Shibuya?

She knows she survived, saved by a student from Kyoto, which means students from Kyoto were there at some point. She knows Nanami survived, and Nanami implied Ieiri survived. She knows Gojo was sealed. She knows Itadori was still fighting when she went down.

That isn’t much. And she’s happy Nanami and Ieiri are both alive, of course, but Nobara is also selfish. She would rather her friends be okay than anyone else. She’d sacrifice anyone so long as Itadori, Fushiguro, and Maki could live.

She takes a deep breath. At this point, she just needs to ask, because not knowing is going to end up eating her alive.

“Do you know—?” the words get caught in her throat. Nanami blinks and rolls his shoulder, then winces. “Are the others—?”

It’s hard to read Nanami’s expression when half his face is covered by bandages, but it almost appears to soften. Nobara can’t tell if it’s because he’s going to give her good news, or if it’s because he has to be the one to break bad news.

“Megumi was treated by Ieiri-san. Yuuji…”

Nobara’s blood runs cold.

“He’s alive. We think.” Nanami stares down at his hands and clicks his tongue. “With Gojo-san gone, they re - re, re - revoked the postponement of his execution. He never re - re, re, re - returned to campus, so he never re-r– received treatment from Ieiri-san. But Megumi is certain he’s alive. He went back out to look for him as soon as Ieiri-san cleared him.” Nanami starts to roll his neck, then stops and swears under his breath.

Nobara lets out a sigh of relief. Itadori’s situation isn’t ideal, but he and Fushiguro are both alive, and that’s what matters most. And as soon as Nobara is allowed out of this bed, she’s heading straight to join up with them. If they think they can exile themselves from Jujutsu High without Nobara coming along, they’ve got a big storm coming.

But that didn’t answer all of her questions.

“What about Maki?”

Her voice comes out scarcely louder than a whisper. She’s afraid of the answer, but she needs to know.

Nanami grimaces.

Nobara hopes it’s a tic.

He clears his throat and doesn’t meet her eye when he speaks. “Ieiri-san treated—” he clicks his tongue, “her b-burns, but—” he coughs, shakes his head, and winces. He flexes the hand that isn’t wrapped in bandages, then winces again. “The Zen’in Clan took - k - her to the Zen’in Compound afterwards. Ieiri has b - b-b-b - been - b-b—” Nanami closes his eyes and huffs out a sigh. “They won’t update us on how she’s doing. She and her uncle were both in pretty b - b-b-b - bad condition.”

Nobara bites her lip. Her hands curl into fists.

She knows, realistically, that she can’t go all the way to the Zen’in Compound right now. She knows she’s in no state to travel, nor could she fight the other Zen’in Clan members and successfully bring Maki back to campus right now, but God does she want to. She wants nothing more than to rip the IV from her hand, find her hammer and nails, head straight for the Zen’in Compound, and leave a trail of bodies in her wake.

“We haven’t heard news of Zen’in Naobito passing yet, so we can assume both he and Maki are still living.”

“Can we?” Nobara’s throat aches, and nausea is still swirling in the pit of her stomach. “They don’t care about Maki. Who’s to say they didn’t take her away just so they could let her die? It would be the perfect excuse for what they’ve always wanted.”

Nanami shakes his head. “The Zen’in Clan may be…ah, disagreeable.” He sniffs. “But they aren’t stupid enough to let Maki die if Naobito lives. As you know, Maki was gifted with heavenly restriction. Physically, she—” he clicks his tongue, “she’s far stronger than Naobito, and she can survive much worse than he can. It won’t look good for them after insisting Maki finish recovery at the Zen’in Compound if she dies while Naobito lives.”

“Still,” Nobara mutters. She doesn’t trust Maki in the hands of the Zen’in Clan, especially a Maki who may be on the brink of death. If Maki were at her full strength, Nobara has no doubt she’d head straight back for Jujutsu High. Or she would never have ended up back at the Zen’in Compound in the first place. But Nobara is still unsure how badly Maki was injured, and if her life is in the hands of her family—

Nobara doesn’t trust they won’t find a reason to let her die.

“It’s the only hope we have,” Nanami whispers. “We don’t have the manpower to bring her back right now, and she was unconscious when they took her, so she couldn’t ask to stay.”

Nobara scoffs. As if any one of her family members would believe Maki wanted to go with them. They just wanted to exercise control over her while she couldn’t fight back.

Nanami hisses as if he’s in pain, and Nobara looks over at him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he says stiffly, not really sounding fine. “It’s just—” he rolls his wounded shoulder and winces.

Oh, shit.

Half of his body is injured, and he can’t stop moving it.

Nobara doesn’t know exactly how reverse cursed technique works to heal burns - assuming Nanami was injured similarly to Maki, since they were together - but she knows it can only do so much for any sort of severe injury.

Clearly it couldn’t bring Nobara’s eye back. She’d guess Nanami’s covered eye doesn’t work anymore either.

Nobara also doesn’t know what severe burns feel like after the fact, but she has burnt herself while cooking, and even those small burns on her fingers stung pretty badly. She can’t imagine having third-degree burns across half of your face and torso is a pleasant experience.

Nobara opens her mouth to ask Nanami if she can do anything to help despite knowing full well that there probably isn’t, but she’s interrupted by the door swinging open.

Ieiri walks in, the bags under her eyes darker and heavier than Nobara has ever seen them. A burnt-out cigarette is hanging between her lips. Her hair is greasy and pulled into a low ponytail. Her lab coat looks like it was due for a wash about two days ago. She looks completely and utterly exhausted.

Her eyes widen when she sees Nobara. She pulls the cigarette from between her lips.

“You’re awake.”

“You look terrible,” Nanami says before Nobara can come up with a response. “When was the last time you slept?”

Ieiri ignores him, walking over to Nobara. “How are you feeling?”

She shrugs. “Fine, mostly. This,” she gestures to the bandages over where her left eye used to be, “is weird, but it’s just…numb.”

Ieiri breathes out a sigh of relief. She scrubs a hand over his face. “Thank God. I didn’t think you would wake up.”

“I can’t be taken out that easily!” Nobara says, as if she wasn’t absolutely certain she was dead when she first woke up, as if she hadn’t accepted death as soon as she felt Mahito touch her.

(Oh God, Nobara almost died, she should be—)

“Of course not,” Ieiri mumbles. She shakes her head and looks over at Nanami. “How are you feeling?”

“Wonderful,” he deadpans.

Ieiri rolls her eyes. “I’m going to get the two of you some food - and more pain medicine for you, Nanami - and then you should both try to rest some more.”

Now that Ieiri mentions it, Nobara is hungry - her stomach feels pretty empty. She doesn’t know how long she was unconscious, so she has no idea how long it’s been since she last ate, but it’s probably been at least a day or two.

And - she yawns - she’s sort of tired, too. Even though she just woke up, a nap sounds nice.

Ieiri slips out of the room, and the door thunks shut behind her. Nobara hopes it doesn’t take her too long to grab food, but she also knows that Ieiri is busy and might have more important matters to attend to.

She slumps down further in her bed, her thoughts swirling back around to her friends. “Do you really think Maki will be okay?” It comes out so quiet that she isn’t sure Nanami will even be able to hear her.

“I think she’s strong and she’ll do whatever she can to make it back here alive,” Nanami responds.

It isn’t certainty, but Nobara prefers the honesty to a false promise of hope. Maki is strong, and she won’t stop fighting, Nobara knows this. She knows all her friends are like that - she doesn’t befriend people who just roll over and take whatever shitty cards fate has dealt them; she befriends people who refuse to go down without a fight.

There’s no promise that any of her friends will be okay, but Nobara can rest assured that they will not die easily.

And for now, that has to be enough.

— —

When Nobara wakes again, the IV in her hand is gone and it’s dark outside.

The fluorescent lights of the infirmary are still buzzing overhead and Nobara can hear Nanami’s tics before she even registers that’s what she’s hearing. They sound farther away now, though - like he’s no longer in the bed next to her.

She can hear whispers from Ieiri, too, once she’s clawed her way into consciousness. She can’t make out any words exchanged between the two of them due to the distance and their low volume - it’s just a dull murmur of white noise filtering in through her one ear that still works.

She pushes herself up into a sitting position. She moves slowly, but there are still black spots dancing in her (limited) vision by the time she’s upright. She has to crane her neck in order to locate Nanami and Ieiri, because they’re in her blind spot.

By which, of course, she means the entire left side of her vision.

That’s going to take a lot of getting used to.

Ieiri is changing Nanami’s bandages. He’s wearing a hospital gown with the left sleeve rolled up to his shoulder so Ieiri can re-wrap his arm. Most of his arm is still bare and on display so Nobara can see the scarring - pink tissue peeling white covering every centimeter.

She wonders if Maki’s scars look the same. She still doesn’t know how badly Maki was burned, or where on her body. If she was unconscious when her family took her and she still hasn’t sent word that she’s okay, her injuries must have been pretty severe.

Nobara knows she can’t go all the way to Kyoto right now to be Maki’s knight in shining armor. But it isn’t fair that Maki is five hundred kilometers away from everyone who actually cares about her, stuck with a family that has always thought she would be better off dead. And after something as traumatic as nearly burning to death—

Nobara can’t tear her eyes away from Nanami as Ieiri painstakingly wraps bandages around his arm. It’s horrifying because she knows Maki suffered similar injuries, but isn’t here to be treated by Ieiri. It’s horrifying because skin is not supposed to look like that. It’s horrifying because Ieiri keeps pausing to allow Nanami to roll his arm or shake his hand, and every time he does so, he winces.

Nobara doesn’t want to watch, but there isn’t anything else happening, and Nanami is the only person Nobara has really spoken to in the past…well, since Shibuya. She has to make sure the one person she has left with her is going to be okay.

Not that watching will actually do anything, but it offers her the only sense of control she can find right now. So she watches in silence, and she flinches at Nanami’s pain. It isn’t until Ieiri runs out of bandage and has to get more that the two realize Nobara is awake.

Ieiri pauses and asks, “How are you feeling?”

Nobara shrugs. “Fine.” She’s mentally drained, exhausted, can’t see out of her left eye or hear out of her left ear, and she has no idea how any of her friends are doing, but yeah. Fine.

Better than Nanami, at least.

“That’s good.” Ieiri nods vaguely, and then turns her attention back to retrieving more bandages from the cupboard. Nobara watches her for a moment before her gaze wanders over to Nanami. He doesn’t look like he entirely believes the fact that she’s fine, but he also looks too tired to care all that much.

Nobara pushes the blanket covering her down to her ankles and stretches her arms. She should probably be resting still, but she feels like she’s been resting for days, and she wants to move.

“You really shouldn’t—” Nanami starts as Nobara swings her legs over the edge of the bed.

“I said I’m fine,” Nobara bites back. She places her left foot on the ground, and then her right one. She rocks forward, placing some of her weight on her feet. When her legs don’t immediately give out, she eases herself into a standing position.

Nanami rolls his eyes - eye, whatever - and clicks his tongue. He shakes his head and shivers. Nobara can’t exactly pick out which movements were tics and which were actions he chose to do, but she decides she doesn’t particularly care. She’s sick and tired of being stuck in the infirmary while her friends are out doing God knows what.

Granted, most of her time in the infirmary has been spent unconscious. But still.

Her legs are shaky after so much time spent lying down, but she manages to make her way over to Nanami without collapsing, so that’s a good sign. Ieiri eyes her warily as she moves, but she doesn’t say anything, so Nobara is guessing that walking won’t be detrimental to her health.

As long as she doesn’t fall and crack her skull open against the tile floor, of course.

Now that she’s standing, she can tell that her hospital gown is bigger than it should be, hanging loosely over her frame instead of hugging her torso like it’s supposed to - like Ieiri gave her a gown that’s a size too big. Because of the bigger size, the robe has been pinned up near her neck, preventing too much of her chest from being exposed. It doesn’t exactly hide the shape of her body, but it’s better than a smaller sized gown would be.

She’ll have to thank Ieiri for that at some point.

She takes a seat next to Nanami, trying to control her breathing so he can’t hear how winded she is from just a short walk. She blinks the black spots from her vision, and after a moment, the slight dizziness eases and she has the correct amount of air in her lungs again.

Nanami rolls his non-injured shoulder, wincing as he does so.

Nobara’s gaze shoots to his injured arm. It looks even worse up close, though Nobara supposes that’s to be expected.

“Does it still hurt?” she asks before she can think about whether or not Nanami really wants to talk about his traumatic injuries with a nosy teenager.

He shrugs. “Only when I move.”

So that’s a hard yes since Nanami can’t exactly stop himself from moving.

He looks down at his hand. “It’s mostly numb, but the pain flares up when I move around enough.”

“He sustained some pretty bad nerve damage,” Ieiri explains, coming up behind Nobara. She sets a glass of water, a pack of crackers, and two pills down next to her, then turns her attention to Nanami. “I did what I could to heal it, but reversed curse technique has its limits. The sooner you heal someone, the more damage you can undo. The longer they go without healing, the less you can do to help them.”

Nobara reaches up to her own bandages covering the left side of her face. How many people did Ieiri have to heal during and after Shibuya? Did she have to make sacrifices with how much she healed people in order to preserve her cursed energy? Could she have done more if she’d only had one person to heal instead of…well, everyone?

“It’s not a big deal,” Nanami says. As if his body is trying to prove him wrong, his injured arm immediately jerks away from Ieiri, and he grimaces in pain.

Ieiri looks pained herself, but she doesn’t say anything. She just waits for Nanami to move his arm back so she can continue re-bandaging it.

Nobara watches Ieiri work as she eats the crackers and takes the medicine. She isn’t sure exactly what sort of medicine it is, but she’s guessing they’re probably painkillers. She isn’t really in all that much pain right now, but there is a dull ache thrumming behind where her left eye used to be, and she’d like to kill that before it can get any worse.

By the time Ieiri finishes with Nanami’s bandages, Nobara has finished her food and water.

“Okay.” Ieiri steps back. She stretches her arms and back. “I have to go check in on some of the others. Are you two okay if I leave you here?”

“We’ll be fine,” Nanami assures her.

Nobara nods emphatically.

Ieiri blows a strand of hair out of her face. “Alright. I’ll be back soon. Let me know if you need anything.”

It isn’t until Ieiri has left that Nobara realizes she doesn’t exactly have any way to contact Ieiri if she does need something. She doesn’t know where her phone is, and at this point, it’s probably dead anyways.

Whatever. They’ll be fine alone for a few minutes. Ieiri deserves a break anyways, so Nobara would like to burden her as little as possible.

“So…” Nobara starts, not entirely sure where the sentence is going. She just doesn’t want to spend the next fifteen minutes sitting in awkward silence next to Nanami. “How long has it been since I was last awake?”

Nanami shrugs. He looks down at his injured wrist, then clicks his tongue. He stares at it for a moment before looking back up at Nobara. “Eight hours? I’m not sure what time it is.”

Nobara nods. The infirmary is sort of a liminal space where time doesn’t seem to mean much anyways. And given the bags under Ieiri’s eyes, Nobara expects she doesn’t adhere to a typical working day where she can call it quits once it gets late enough. She’s the only doctor on campus and one of very few people who can even use reverse cursed technique, so she probably doesn’t have the luxury of specific shift hours.

Nobara looks around, searching the walls for a clock, but there doesn’t seem to be one. If only she had her phone.

She huffs out a sigh and slumps back in her seat. If walking across the room hadn’t winded her, Nobara would have already booked it to her room, changed into her uniform, and either set out to find Itadori and Fushiguro or bring Maki back.

But if she can’t even walk six meters without getting dizzy, she knows she’d only bring her friends more problems if she tried to find them.

This sucks.

Nanami rolls his shoulders, then his neck. He mumbles something unintelligible under his breath. He shifts his position, and then shifts again after a few seconds.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Nobara asks. She hates just sitting here, useless. She feels fine (as long as she’s not moving around too quickly) and she wants to be back out in action with her friends. She wants to see Maki again, wants to play knight in shining armor. She wants to see Itadori and Fushiguro again and let them know that she’s okay. She wants to do something.

Helping Nanami would at least give her some semblance of a purpose for being alive right now.

“I doubt it.”

Nobara pouts. She doesn’t mean to, really - it just sort of happens because she was hoping that she wouldn’t have to sit next to Nanami knowing he’s in pain and unable to do anything. Or maybe she just selfishly wants something to do.

“It’s nothing I’m not used to,” he assures her. Not that it does much to make Nobara feel better because first of all, that’s concerning, not reassuring. And second of all, that has to be a lie - whatever level of pain Nanami is used to is currently coupled with the lasting pain from his third-degree burns. “Generally, I would use my heating pad to help, but obviously that’s at home. I’ll be fine.”

Nobara cocks her head. “Heating pad?” Maybe she can help. “Fushiguro has a heating pad he lets Maki-san use when her cramps get bad. He offered to let me use it too, but I don’t have to deal with that, so,” Nobara shrugs. “Maki-san usually likes the disposable ones better because she doesn’t have to go all the way to the microwave in the kitchen, but if one of us heats it up for her, she’ll use Fushiguro’s.” She shakes her head. “Anyway, I’m sure Fushiguro won’t mind if you borrow it. He hardly ever uses it himself.”

Nanami hesitates, but Nobara thinks that the fact that he doesn’t immediately turn down the offer is a good sign.

“I can go get it and heat it up for you and everything.”

“I don’t know that you should be walking that far right now.”

“I’ll be fine; it’s not that far.” Sure, the dorms are technically in an entirely different building. But it’s, like, right next door. As long as she doesn’t walk too fast, she’ll be fine. And if she needs to, she can take a moment to sit down. She gets the feeling that campus is pretty empty right now.

“I can’t allow you to walk that far on your own,” Nanami tells her, his voice firmer now. He’s entered Responsible Adult Mode now apparently. All Nobara wants to do is help! But he won’t let her—

Or…he won’t let her go alone.

“Okay. Come with me, then.”

“I’m not sure that would be good for either of us.”

“Pleeeeeaaaaaseeee?” Nobara gives Nanami her best puppy dog eyes, though he seems like the type of person who is immune to that kind of pleading. “The fresh air will be good for us. And we’ve been cooped up in this room for days!”

That last part might be a lie since Nobara has no idea how long she was unconscious after Shibuya, but she’s hoping her point still stands.

Nanami sighs. He rubs his temples with his uninjured hand, and then, finally, mumbles, “Fine.”

“Yes!” Nobara cheers, jumping up from her chair.

She regrets it immediately when she has to grab back onto the chair to steady herself, her head spinning and her vision going blurry. She blinks and breathes in slowly. She just…hasn’t walked in a while, that’s why her body isn’t exactly working correctly. She just needs to take it slow for a day or two, and then she’ll be perfectly fine again!

Hopefully.

“You need to be careful,” Nanami grumbles as he stands, his movements much slower than Nobara’s. “You don’t want to risk worsening your injuries. Or adding any new ones.” He glares at her pointedly, but Nobara just shrugs it off. Nanami’s probably just grumpy because he’s old and his body doesn’t work as well anymore. But Nobara still has her youthful ability to recover from any injury.

She cheated death for God’s sake! Surely she can walk around for a bit without falling over.

The two of them set off towards the dorms, and Nobara keeps pace with Nanami’s slow walk. As much as she would love to run ahead, she knows she probably shouldn’t push herself too hard too quickly. This is the first time she’s been out of bed since (nearly) dying in Shibuya.

An awkward silence settles in the air between them, interrupted only by Nanami’s tics. Nobara tries to think of something to say, but she comes up empty, so she keeps her mouth shut.

They step outside, and instantly, the autumn chill seeps through Nobara’s hospital gown. She’d severely underestimated how cold it would be at…whatever time it currently is. It’s late enough (or early enough) that it’s dark out, at least, so the sun isn’t warming the air.

She shivers, wrapping her arms around herself. As much as she prefers the gown and its flowiness, she’s growing slightly envious of Nanami’s pants.

It’s fine, though. The dorms aren’t far and Nobara has handled worse. If she turns back, Nanami won’t carry on without her, and then he’ll be stuck without a heating pad. And if Nobara can’t even stand being outside when it’s a little chilly for five minutes, then how can she expect to meet up with Fushiguro and Itadori?

…Wherever they might be.

Nobara’s shoulders slump. She understands why they aren’t here - Itadori can’t be, and she’s glad that he has Fushiguro with him - but still. She misses her friends. It isn’t fair that they can’t be here for her and it isn’t fair that she can’t be there for them. It isn’t fair.

But Nobara could waste hours listing everything in the world that is not fair right now (Gojo sealed, Maki stuck with her family, Nanami’s tics making his injuries worse…) so she tries to shake it all from her mind and focus on the task at hand.

She was right about campus being empty, though maybe that has to do with what time it is. Either way, apart from Nanami’s tics, the only sounds are leaves rustling in the breeze and their footsteps, soft and muffled against the grass. It seems as if all of the animals and insects have deserted as well. No one wants to remain here after…everything.

And Nobara still doesn’t even know the full extent of everything. She’s scared to ask anymore than she already has because she fears any answers she gets won’t be good. She’s lucky that she didn’t wake up to the news that one (or more) of her closest friends was dead.

Although, that could come at any point. It may only be a matter of time.

She thinks about what Ieiri said after the second time Nobara saw Nanami, how he lost one of his closest friends when he was a student, and how that had made him step away from being a sorcerer for a while.

At the time, Nobara hadn’t really understood it. She came all this way, why would she give up after graduation? She fought tooth and nail for her grandmother to allow her to attend Jujutsu High and be a sorcerer. She fought tooth and nail to get out of her middle-of-nowhere hometown and move to Tokyo, where she can actually be someone - where she can actually be herself. She hadn’t understood why anyone would want to go back to normality after all that.

But…she might understand a little better now.

Everywhere she looks, she’s reminded of the friends whose statuses remain unknown. She’s reminded of Maki, hurt and alone with a family who hates her. She’s reminded of Itadori, on the run from the higher ups who already had a hand in killing him once. She’s reminded of Fushiguro, who is risking everything for Itadori’s sake - who made himself a criminal so he could save a boy who was always destined to die.

And Nobara gets it. She gets it. Because if she had to continue showing up to class and going out on missions after her friends’ deaths, she might snap. She wouldn’t be able to take it anymore. She would have to leave - to go do anything besides jujutsu sorcery - because the only other option would be killing every single person who had a hand in the deaths of the people she cared about.

Maybe leaving the jujutsu world for a while was the only way Nanami could retain his sanity.

(Now, Nobara is wondering if he wishes he hadn’t come back.)

They make it to the dorm building, and Nobara holds the door open for Nanami. He thanks her softly, and then she leads the way to Fushiguro’s room.

It looks mostly the same as Nobara remembers it, though there are clothes thrown on the floor, something Fuhsiguro is generally far too much of a neat freak to allow. He must have been in a rush to leave.

(Not that Nobara can blame him.)

Along with the out of place clothing, Nobara notices that his generally tidy desk has books, pencils, and papers strewn across the surface of it, like someone was looking for something and didn’t bother re-organizing once they were done.

She steps over the clothes and brushes past the desk, heading for the bookshelf in the corner. She doesn’t hear Nanami follow her, so he must elect to linger in the doorway rather than intrude on Fushiguro’s space.

Nobara crouches down - slowly so she doesn’t lose her balance - and finds the heating pad in its rightful place on the bottom shelf. She grabs it, then stands up slowly. Even that has black spots swimming in her vision, but it’s nothing she can’t simply blink away.

(It still feels weird that now, blinking and winking are basically the same for Nobara. She’s only got one eyelid left to move.)

She turns back to Nanami and holds up the heating pad in her hand. “Got it! Now we just have to heat it up.”

The unbandaged side of Nanami’s face twitches, and Nobara can’t quite tell if that’s his response or just a tic. Regardless, she marches onward, out of Fushiguro’s room and towards the kitchen. Nanami trails behind her, occasionally clicking his tongue.

The kitchen isn’t far, thankfully. Nobara finds a clean plate, places the heating pad on it, and then sticks it in the microwave. She sets the time, presses start, and then sits down next to Nanami, who is rubbing his uninjured shoulder.

“Thank you,” he whispers, so quietly that Nobara almost thinks she’s imagined it.

Nobara smiles. “I had to do something. I couldn’t just lie in bed doing nothing to help anyone when all of my friends are out in danger.”

Nanami frowns. “You’re recovering.”

“Fushiguro and Itadori should be recovering too. And Maki should be recovering here,” Nobara points out. “What did I do to get so lucky? I shouldn’t even be alive right now!”

The full weight of Nobara’s words don’t hit her until they’ve already fallen from her lips.

Because she shouldn’t be alive. She cheated death, but not because of anything she did - because she was lucky that both she and the student from Kyoto were in about the same place at about the same time. She messed up, and she should have died because of her mistake.

But she didn’t. She’s here, able to recover at Jujutsu High and receive treatment from Ieiri, all because she was lucky. She doesn’t deserve any of this - not really.

Nanami sighs. “The thing about luck is that it doesn’t always choose to save those who are most deserving. And then you spend the rest of your life wondering, Why couldn’t it have been me?”

Nobara purses her lips. Why couldn’t she be the one on the run from the higher ups? Or the one sent back to her family to recover? Why did all her friends have to draw the short end of the fate stick?

“But you did deserve saving,” Nanami continues. “No child deserves an early death.”

Nobara shrugs. “It just doesn’t seem fair that none of my friends are here, safe and recovering on campus. Any one of them could die at any moment, and we might never find out!”

Before Nanami can respond, the microwave beeps. Nobara stands up and retrieves the heating pad. She holds it out to Nanami. “Here. Let me know if you want it to be warmer.”

Nanami takes it, hesitantly. “This should be fine. Thank you.” He drapes it over his shoulders and Nobara can see him physically relax, releasing the tension from his shoulders. He lets out a relieved sigh and his eyes slip shut.

(Eye - he lost one in Shibuya too.)

Nobara takes her seat once more - she needs a minute to sit before making the trek back to the infirmary - and drums her fingers against the table. She thinks about what Nanami said, about how no child deserves an early death. She doesn’t exactly think she deserved death, but…she’s no more deserving of the luck she got than any of her friends are. None of them are bad people who deserve to die, but…maybe none of them are good enough to deserve to live either.

None of them were strong enough to stop what happened in Shibuya, and none of them were strong enough to fully and entirely save themselves. If they were, they would all be here, together, on campus, instead of separated from each other. If they aren’t strong enough, then maybe they should have all died in Shibuya - maybe they’re all alive because of random strokes of luck.

How long before their luck runs out?

And who will lose their luck first? Itadori, who is sentenced to execution? Megumi, who sentenced himself to exile? Maki, who is stuck with her family? Nobara, who shouldn’t have survived Shibuya at all?

It’s all so…messy.

Everything used to be easy. Nobara had everything planned out: Go to Jujutsu High, train to be a sorcerer, become a full-time sorcerer living in Tokyo, and finally leave the small-town life behind for good. She knew being a sorcerer came with risks, but…not like this.

Not like this.

And maybe something like this was entirely unprecedented, but something tells Nobara that she and the other students could have been warned. Should have been warned. Something tells Nobara that Nanami and Gojo and Ieiri could have told them, except they’re probably forbidden from giving out warnings because of the higher ups or something.

So, what? They just have to watch year after year of students die? They just have to watch kid after kid come to Jujutsu High bright-eyed and smiling, and then watch as the life and hope are drained out of them?

That’s not fair. None of this is fair. Nothing in life is fair. You get gifted with a cursed technique that gets you out of your middle-of-nowhere hometown, only to lose your eye and your friends and your life five months later.

Nobara huffs out a sigh. Maybe she should have listened to her grandmother and stayed at home for just a little while longer. She could have made it to Tokyo by some other route if she’d been patient.

Of course, if she’d done that, she never would have met her friends. She never would have met Fushiguro or Itadori or Maki or the rest of the second years. And she would have had to deal with another three years of the whispers behind her back, the disapproving looks, the faux apologies after people “accidentally” got her name wrong…

Do the pros outweigh the cons?

They’re all so heavy that it’s hard to tell.

She wants to ask Nanami about…everything. But she doesn’t even know where to start. She wants to know about the person he lost when he was a student, she wants to know how long she’s going to be stuck on the sidelines, she wants to know the truth about being a jujutsu sorcerer, and just how many students never make it to graduation.

But…she’s also a little scared of the answers. She probably won’t like any of them.

She looks up at Nanami again. “How…” she swallows thickly. “How do you deal with being lucky when you feel like you don’t deserve it?”

It’s a question Nanami might actually have an answer to. Nobara gets the feeling he’s been lucky before.

Nanami shrugs. “You keep going. You remind yourself that the person you lost wouldn’t want you to wallow and spend the rest of your life mourning them, and you find a way to pick yourself back up again.” He clicks his teeth together, then makes a gulping sort of noise in the back of his throat. “Megumi, Yuuji, and Maki would all want you— want you— to take your time to heal, and they’ll all be happy to find out you’re alive. Even if you d-d-d-don’t feel like you deserved it, you should remember that they would - they do - believe you d-d-deserve it.”

Nobara sighs. Nanami is right. Nobara knows her friends would trade their lives for hers, just like she would trade her life for theirs. She supposes the least she can do is at least respect the fact that they want her to be alive, regardless of whether it was by her own skill or by luck she didn’t do anything to deserve.

“Is that what you did?” She whispers.

“It’s what I still do.”

“Oh,” is all Nobara can think to say.

Because that means if she wakes up tomorrow to the news that one of her friends is dead, this feeling is never going to go away. She will spend the rest of her life wondering what she did that made her worthy of being saved - knowing that there’s no real answer besides luck - and every day, she will have to work to remind herself that whoever she lost would want her to keep living.

According to Fushiguro, the final words Itadori spoke before his first death were Live a long life.

Back then, it had seemed an easier goal to accomplish. It had sounded kind.

Now, it almost sounds like a curse.

— —

“Ieiri-san said you lost a friend when you were a student.”

Somehow, Nobara and Nanami ended up going to the roof instead of back to the infirmary. Nobara is leaning back on her hands, staring up at a night sky that doesn’t seem to hold as many twinkling stars as it used to. The ones she can still see are blurred and dim and too far away.

Nanami nods. “He was my classmate. It was just the two of us in our year.”

“I’m sorry.” Nobara looks down at her hands. It’s easier, because she doesn’t have to strain her eye in order to watch her fingers twist together. “That must have been really hard.”

Nanami hums.

Nobara picks at her fingernails and chews on her bottom lip. She wants to know more - she wants to know the full story, and she wants to know if there’s a way to avoid the past repeating itself. Was Nanami’s loss preventable? Is there anything Nobara can do to stop her own friends from dying? Or is it already too late?

“Was he…were you two…together?”

Nanami shakes his head. “No, it wasn’t like that. I was never really int - t-t-t - interested in that sort of th-th-thing. But he was my closest friend - one of the only close friends I’ve had. Having friends is hard - d-d-d - when you’re a sorcerer. It’s risky.” He glances over at Nobara. “Honestly, I never really decided whether or not it was worth it.”

“Sounds like you never really got closure.” And maybe that’s a little more blunt than Nobara should be right now, but she doesn’t think she’s incorrect.

“Not really. No time for closure when you’re a sorcerer.” Nanami clicks his tongue. “I thought leaving would help, but…” He shrugs. “Jujutsu society has a lot of issues. Different people have come up with different possible solutions, but none of them agreed, so nothing has changed. I’m not - t-t-t - foolish enough to think I can fix everything, but if my being a sorcerer saves the life of even one - one, one - student, then I’ve done my part.”

“That’s…really selfless.”

“Perhaps. Or perhaps it’s only to save my own conscience.”

Nobara shrugs. “Either way. Your reason for being a sorcerer is better than mine. I just wanted to move to Tokyo.”

“When I was your age,” Nanami whistles, “I became a sorcerer because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, and jujutsu sorcery at least set me on a clear path. My rea-reasons weren’t noble in the be-be-beginning either.” He clicks his tongue twice. “I’m not sure what they expect of fourteen- and fifteen-year-olds, though.”

Nobara lets out a laugh. “I guess you have a point.”

Nanami rolls his shoulders. “So, why’d you want to move to Tokyo?”

“Mostly, I just wanted to get out of my hometown. But I wanted to come to Tokyo because of Saori-san. She moved to my town and lived there for a while when I was little, and she was the kindest person I’ve ever met. She would watch me when my grandmother was busy, and then just whenever I wanted to go over to her house. She would make sweets and watch movies with me. She was the first person who saw me as…well, me.”

Nobara swallows. “But the people in my town all hated her. They blamed her for ‘the way I turned out’ - said she’d brainwashed me into thinking I’m someone I’m not. But all she did was show me that I was allowed to be someone other than the boy everyone else saw me as. She showed me that I wasn’t alone in how I felt, and that how I felt wasn’t wrong; it was just different.” Nobara shakes her head. “Anyway, they all basically ran her out of town. She moved back to Tokyo, and I swore to myself that I would find her again someday.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“It doesn’t seem that important anymore,” Nobara confesses quietly. What seems important now is that she’s able to see her new friends again. She’d made her peace with never finding Saori in those last moments before what should have been her death, and she’d realized it had always sort of been a pipe dream anyways. Tokyo is a big city, and Nobara doesn’t even have Saori’s phone number.

Besides, Saori doesn’t have to worry about curses and the higher ups and the evil masterminds behind Shibuya. Saori will still be there when Nobara can walk without dizziness, when she’s accustomed to life with one eye, when she’s reunited with Fushgiuro and Itadori and Maki. Soari will wait for her; Nobara’s other friends may not be able to.

“How are your shoulders feeling?” Nobara asks instead of dwelling on Saori and the others for any longer. There’s no point in focusing on the things she can’t fix, so she’ll ask about the one thing she (hopefully) was able to help.

“Better. Though my chronic shoulder pain doesn’t seem all that important anymore.”

Nobara thinks she sees Nanami half-smile, but it’s hard to tell between the dark and her impaired eyesight.

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still take care of it,” she points out. “Just because something seems trivial doesn’t always make it entirely unimportant.” She looks back up to the sky, briefly wondering if she’s going to need glasses now. Or a contact, maybe, since she thinks her left ear is half-gone too. “I’m still going to find Saori-san someday. I just know now that I have to be patient. I have other friends I need to see first. And I will see them again.” Their time might be running out, but Nobara has to have a little blind faith. She’ll lose her mind without it.

Nanami chuckles. “I believe it. You’re headstrong and - d-d-d - stubborn, Nobara, but that’s good for a sorcerer. It’s the only way you’ll retain your motivation to keep going regardless of how hard th-th-things may get.”

“Thank you!” Nobara smiles brightly. “You know, when I first met you, I thought you’d be really mean. But you’re actually pretty nice, Nanami-san.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

Nobara doesn’t respond; she just laughs. Nanami might think he’s tough and mean, but Nobara has already learned the truth. Even if he generally comes across that way, he has a gentleness under the surface that shines through in his actions. He may have been hardened by grief, but he didn’t let it make him completely heartless.

Nobara would argue that in the end, it made him kinder.

She wonders what Nanami’s friend was like. Was he kind and sunshine-y like Itadori? Or more sullen and moody like Fushiguro? Was he headstrong and determined like Nobara? Did he wield cursed tools like Maki, or did he have an innate technique of his own?

Nobara knows she’s asked enough for tonight, though, so she files those questions away for another time.

Nobara inhales slowly, and then exhales, watching her breath form a puff of smoke in the night air briefly before it dissipates. “If I went to Kyoto to get Maki, would you come with me?”

Nanami is silent for several very long moments before he finally says, “Maybe.”

Nobara smiles. She thinks, probably, if Saori and Nanami ever met, they would get along pretty well.

But, for now, Nobara knows she needs to focus on one step at a time. She has to recover a bit more before she could ever hope to make it to Kyoto, and once she knows Maki is safe, she has to figure out where Fushiguro and Itadori are.

After that, Nobara isn’t sure. But they’ll figure it out together, and Nobara will be okay.

She thinks she’ll be able to breathe easily with the luck she was gifted tonight. That might all go away when she wakes up tomorrow, but for tonight, she won’t worry anymore. She’ll watch the faraway stars blink, and she’ll pray to whichever of them is listening that her friends will make it through the night too.

And if loss comes (if, not when), Nobara will do the same thing she did when Saori left, the same thing she did after Itadori’s first death, the same thing Nanami has done - she will use it to motivate her to be stronger and better and kinder.

Eventually, when the cold has long since seeped down to Nobara’s bones, she and Nanami climb down from the roof. She warms the heating pad back up for Nanami, and then they return to the infirmary, where Ieiri is waiting for them

“I won’t ask where you two have been, because I don’t care, but I have news.”

Nobara’s heart skips a beat and her stomach twists.

News?

“Good news,” Ieiri clarifies. “Maki just called. She’s on her way back here.”

Some of the tension in Nobara’s chest bursts, fizzling into hope - real, genuine, hope - and she hears herself sigh in relief. “She’s okay,” she breathes out. She turns to Nanami. “Maki is okay!”

Before she can think twice, she wraps her arms around Nanami, pulling him into a hug. She’s careful of his injuries, making sure she doesn’t hold too tightly on the side of his body still wrapped in bandages. And she knows it probably isn’t her best idea as soon as she’s done it - Nanami really doesn’t seem like the sort of person who hugs people a whole lot - but by that point, it’s too late.

Surprisingly, she feels one of Nanami’s arms wrap around her back, gently reciprocating the hug. “Yeah,” he whispers. “We’re going to be okay.”